so cool that simon wrote a book
reading "dancing on my own" renewed and expanded my (already diehard) love for robyn for which i'm v grateful, am now am listening to her album "Honey" nonstop...
the primary thing that i was left with was simon's love for his friends and family, and i can see how this book emerges from such love
dancing on my own: writing towards asian american and aesthetic critique that is sympathetic and critical towards claims of belonging and radicality, that tries to acknowledge one's compromised and ambivalent positions without letting go of joy for living.
read this very quickly - prose is unselfconscious, heady but soft, accessible with incredibly keen observational eye and a musical sense of pacing - simon's very good at this thing where he ends the scene by recalling an earlier "punctum" line earlier in the chapter or just on the verge of taking flight, leaving you with a shining image.
more asian american writing about class!!! "a model childhood" one of my favorites - i don't think i realized how much i needed someone to write about Costco and living in a cluttered, hoarding immigrant family household. i was compelled by his writing about his second gen sense of indebtedness and aware that i did not feel the same way, despite being also Asian American immigrant, originally from China by way of SE Asia. no doubt that that my ancestors' and family's actions led to me being able to live a relatively privileged, mobile life, but i don't have a sense that they did this for *me* which has led me to a pretty different relationship w my parents and family at large. how we narrate our family's immigration histories is very interesting!!
"vaguely asian" is very helpful as a kind of "low theory" for asian americanness. i like how it riffs on the racist tropes of Asian countries and peoples being indistinguishable and interchangeable from each other, and also the piecemeal, contextlessness through which diasporic people learn about their past.
“A terrible sense of when he was wanted”
- i liked this one bc it felt vulnerable and i appreciated how Simon holds your hand and walks you through the club maze with him and you actually like being there w him. also that moment when you realize how another person activates your self-hatred is really an indelible experience and i'm glad that he wrote about it. one thing about reading memoir is that it gives you access to "more life," which i appreciated, as someone who isn't immersed in raves or art culture.
- i liked how simon wove his research of artists Tseng Kwong Chi and Ching Ho Chen - the 'queer ecologies' discourse bit did not quite hit for me, and i think it has something to do with gender, with these being male artists whose estates are being maintained by women (their sisters) and how that reaffirms a sexist dynamic, and how biological discourse can offer an apparent exit from oppressive human systems w/o actually addressing them
"without roots but flowers"
- i liked this one because it was interested in forming collectives and sociality, which is a perennial interest of mine. it also gave me a history on Godzilla and grappled with how to orient oneself in relation to power, trying to build inside vs outside of institutions, realizing that there is no real boundary btwn them, and how collectives find ways to last, endure, and re-activate even after periods of dormancy, which is ultimately about the relationships btwn ppl.
"I got the sense that Godzilla was a movement made of friends who just decided to take one another seriously" <3