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Gender Explained: A New Understanding of Identity in a Gender Creative World
A world-leading expert and clinical psychologist team up to explain everything you may not know about gender: what it is, where it came from, and why it’s changing.
Gender is everywhere. Politicians argue over it, educational systems struggle to define it, and our friends, neighbors, and children explore it. More than ever before, young people are questioning their gender identities and redefining the role of gender in their lives. How should our society—and we as individuals (parents, teachers, friends)—respond?
In Gender Explained, Diane Ehrensaft, PhD, and Michelle Jurkiewicz, PsyD, separate medical fact from fear-mongering falsehoods and answer these questions: What should parents do when their child starts experiencing gender dysphoria? Which sports teams should transgender youth play on? How should schools teach young people about gender? And most important: What is gender-affirming care, and when should an individual have access to it?
With clear, expert guidance, this book is a safeguard against political vitriol, and it offers urgent protection for those among us who are transgender and/or nonbinary. Far more than an introduction to gender creativity, it is an invitation to develop compassion for everyone along the gender continuum.
Gender is everywhere. Politicians argue over it, educational systems struggle to define it, and our friends, neighbors, and children explore it. More than ever before, young people are questioning their gender identities and redefining the role of gender in their lives. How should our society—and we as individuals (parents, teachers, friends)—respond?
In Gender Explained, Diane Ehrensaft, PhD, and Michelle Jurkiewicz, PsyD, separate medical fact from fear-mongering falsehoods and answer these questions: What should parents do when their child starts experiencing gender dysphoria? Which sports teams should transgender youth play on? How should schools teach young people about gender? And most important: What is gender-affirming care, and when should an individual have access to it?
With clear, expert guidance, this book is a safeguard against political vitriol, and it offers urgent protection for those among us who are transgender and/or nonbinary. Far more than an introduction to gender creativity, it is an invitation to develop compassion for everyone along the gender continuum.
240 pages, Hardcover
Published August 6, 2024
25 people are currently reading
2579 people want to read
About the author
Diane Ehrensaft
15 books26 followersDiane Ehrensaft, Ph.D. is a developmental and clinical psychologist in the San Francisco Bay Area and the Director of Mental Health and founding member of the Child and Adolescent Gender Center, a partnership between the University of California San Francisco and community agencies to provide comprehensive interdisciplinary services and advocacy to gender nonconforming/ transgender children and youth and their families.
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Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews
July 27, 2024
Gender Explained is an approachable manifesto on gender-affirming care written by psychologists.
The authors speak directly to Millennials, Gen Xers, Boomers, and members of the Silent Generation, addressing common concerns and question marks lurking in the back of our heads on the issue of gender and the rapid changes in the way our society thinks about it (including what the deal is with reports of more people assigned female at birth seeking gender-affirming care than their assigned male counterparts). I’ve read a lot about this topic and still felt like this book added needed nuance to my thinking.
I can imagine people who love someone outside of the gender binary buying this book in bulk and passing it out to friends, family, and community members to help address concerns and dispel rumors about gender-affirming care.
Thanks to NetGalley for an advance copy.
Visit my website for the full review soon: https://emilypgerickson.com/blog/
The authors speak directly to Millennials, Gen Xers, Boomers, and members of the Silent Generation, addressing common concerns and question marks lurking in the back of our heads on the issue of gender and the rapid changes in the way our society thinks about it (including what the deal is with reports of more people assigned female at birth seeking gender-affirming care than their assigned male counterparts). I’ve read a lot about this topic and still felt like this book added needed nuance to my thinking.
I can imagine people who love someone outside of the gender binary buying this book in bulk and passing it out to friends, family, and community members to help address concerns and dispel rumors about gender-affirming care.
Thanks to NetGalley for an advance copy.
Visit my website for the full review soon: https://emilypgerickson.com/blog/
September 26, 2024
This is a great resource, especially for parents. It was interesting to read about the research that backs up our current understanding of gender.
October 10, 2024
If confirmation bias was a book….
I went into reading this book with an open mind and certain expectations. I come from a rather liberal background, we have multiple members of LGBTQ community in our family and we support them with all our hearts. At the same time, politically, I view myself somewhere in the middle. I like to apply critical thinking, and not blindly follow any agenda or narrative - whether it’s a liberal one or a conservative one.
So - that being said. I don’t hate the topic. I don’t hate gender diverse people. But I hated this book. In my opinion, it was a delusional, pseudo scientific, fake positive and vague attempt to convince people that choosing your gender is as natural as choosing your favorite color and switching your favorite colors based on seasons is even more natural.
What annoyed me the most was the lack of actual science. I really hoped to learn something, I hoped to read a book that will provide a scientific take on the subject matter.
No data, no numbers, statistics.
Only poor anecdotal evidence. To prove an argument, the authors often used quotes from teens that rang not only hollow but actually quite humorous - “as Lily told us: Umm, I just know I’m not a dude.” Ah, right… I guess that proved the point then.
When there was a mention of a research, it often brought results such as “a lot of young teens….” (Aaah, a lot! Sure, thanks for that mathematical precision). Or “according to research, gender diverse people who feel supported by their families report better mental health than the ones that don’t feel the support from their families.” (Wow, did we really need research to come to that conclusion?)
They absolutely sidetracked biology. As if it wasn’t even a factor to consider.
They didn’t mention the health risks of gender affirmative surgeries. She even compared the surgeries to plastic surgeries like breast augmentation, nose job or facelift!
On the topic of detransitioners, they merely said that our gender identity changes as we age, and that it’s absolutely okay to change your mind and there’s nothing wrong with it.
In chapter 5 “Where have all the young girls gone?” - they state that FTM is more common than MTF which even I as a layman know to be the other way round. Trans women are more common than trans men. Just google it.
Often she says “gender that the children know themselves to be” - why not ever acknowledging the fact that the child might be “wrong” that it might be just a phase? That the child might suffer from a mental health issue? And that perhaps that child needs help and counseling.
The book is this rainbow unicorn optimistic paradise depiction of all the amazing work they’re doing for these people but in fact I truly believe that they’re dangerously glorifying gender disphoria and completely turning a blind, biased eye to the fact that this kind of narrative can be harmful.
Then there is my favorite part about Barbie - so according to the authors, when we let girls play with a Barbie, we’re basically giving them a disgusting symbol of sexism, sexual objectivization and patriarchy. But when little boys play with Barbies - they’re embracing the life of glamour and glitter that the Barbie doll represents and it’s cute when they saw up cute little dresses for the dolls. This is encouraged.
She said it’s sexism when we talk about trans women competing in female sports and we do not talk about trans men competing in male sports! Hello? Because the latter never happens? Show me a trans boy, ie a person with basically a slightly masculinized female body trying to compete with cis males! I mean even if it happens we never hear about it because no trans man ever threatened a cis male in any sport!
There’s a part that’s about how children in different parts of the world perceive gender. The first sub-section is called “Learning from an American child”. Who would expect other sections called “Learning from an {insert country} child” (as I would) - will be disappointed. There are only testimonies from American children.
And lastly, my favorite. In case you didn’t know - Scout, the main character in the novel To Kill a Mockingbird was actually a gender creative child. No, not a Tomboy. We don’t use this term anymore. Even though Scout mentions several times throughout the book that she’s a girl, she feels like a girl, she wants to marry one day and have a child, she only prefers overalls to dresses and she refuses to be “a lady”. Which is absolutely okay. I feel her, I like wearing trousers and shirts and blazers. Does that make me gender creative?
They even said themselves - we all “do” our gender differently. Gender is a spectrum. But “doing” our gender in a way that may be perceived irregular doesn’t mean we are confused about the gender we identify with.
Overall, the topic is great. We need to talk about it. But I believe this book will serve only one purpose: it will solidify the arguments for someone who has been “in the camp” already, and who only needed that good old familiar pat on the back that yes - this is the right thing to stand for.
I went into reading this book with an open mind and certain expectations. I come from a rather liberal background, we have multiple members of LGBTQ community in our family and we support them with all our hearts. At the same time, politically, I view myself somewhere in the middle. I like to apply critical thinking, and not blindly follow any agenda or narrative - whether it’s a liberal one or a conservative one.
So - that being said. I don’t hate the topic. I don’t hate gender diverse people. But I hated this book. In my opinion, it was a delusional, pseudo scientific, fake positive and vague attempt to convince people that choosing your gender is as natural as choosing your favorite color and switching your favorite colors based on seasons is even more natural.
What annoyed me the most was the lack of actual science. I really hoped to learn something, I hoped to read a book that will provide a scientific take on the subject matter.
No data, no numbers, statistics.
Only poor anecdotal evidence. To prove an argument, the authors often used quotes from teens that rang not only hollow but actually quite humorous - “as Lily told us: Umm, I just know I’m not a dude.” Ah, right… I guess that proved the point then.
When there was a mention of a research, it often brought results such as “a lot of young teens….” (Aaah, a lot! Sure, thanks for that mathematical precision). Or “according to research, gender diverse people who feel supported by their families report better mental health than the ones that don’t feel the support from their families.” (Wow, did we really need research to come to that conclusion?)
They absolutely sidetracked biology. As if it wasn’t even a factor to consider.
They didn’t mention the health risks of gender affirmative surgeries. She even compared the surgeries to plastic surgeries like breast augmentation, nose job or facelift!
On the topic of detransitioners, they merely said that our gender identity changes as we age, and that it’s absolutely okay to change your mind and there’s nothing wrong with it.
In chapter 5 “Where have all the young girls gone?” - they state that FTM is more common than MTF which even I as a layman know to be the other way round. Trans women are more common than trans men. Just google it.
Often she says “gender that the children know themselves to be” - why not ever acknowledging the fact that the child might be “wrong” that it might be just a phase? That the child might suffer from a mental health issue? And that perhaps that child needs help and counseling.
The book is this rainbow unicorn optimistic paradise depiction of all the amazing work they’re doing for these people but in fact I truly believe that they’re dangerously glorifying gender disphoria and completely turning a blind, biased eye to the fact that this kind of narrative can be harmful.
Then there is my favorite part about Barbie - so according to the authors, when we let girls play with a Barbie, we’re basically giving them a disgusting symbol of sexism, sexual objectivization and patriarchy. But when little boys play with Barbies - they’re embracing the life of glamour and glitter that the Barbie doll represents and it’s cute when they saw up cute little dresses for the dolls. This is encouraged.
She said it’s sexism when we talk about trans women competing in female sports and we do not talk about trans men competing in male sports! Hello? Because the latter never happens? Show me a trans boy, ie a person with basically a slightly masculinized female body trying to compete with cis males! I mean even if it happens we never hear about it because no trans man ever threatened a cis male in any sport!
There’s a part that’s about how children in different parts of the world perceive gender. The first sub-section is called “Learning from an American child”. Who would expect other sections called “Learning from an {insert country} child” (as I would) - will be disappointed. There are only testimonies from American children.
And lastly, my favorite. In case you didn’t know - Scout, the main character in the novel To Kill a Mockingbird was actually a gender creative child. No, not a Tomboy. We don’t use this term anymore. Even though Scout mentions several times throughout the book that she’s a girl, she feels like a girl, she wants to marry one day and have a child, she only prefers overalls to dresses and she refuses to be “a lady”. Which is absolutely okay. I feel her, I like wearing trousers and shirts and blazers. Does that make me gender creative?
They even said themselves - we all “do” our gender differently. Gender is a spectrum. But “doing” our gender in a way that may be perceived irregular doesn’t mean we are confused about the gender we identify with.
Overall, the topic is great. We need to talk about it. But I believe this book will serve only one purpose: it will solidify the arguments for someone who has been “in the camp” already, and who only needed that good old familiar pat on the back that yes - this is the right thing to stand for.
December 25, 2024
An interesting and challenging book: challenging assumptions that gender is either/or, something that one might switch between, but to think of it more as as spectrum. In the past we may not have considered more having a few traditionally feminine traits as defining us as less male, or some masculine traits as making someone not female. After all, a man can care about his family, his friends, society in general and enjoy baking. Women and girls can be into adrenaline sports and DIY projects. But this book shows that as we blend those traditional gender traits, maybe the lines do start to blur, and not everyone has to fit into one box or the other. And maybe they don't feel the same way all the time.
I thought that the chapter that looked at how gender definitions have changed over time, especially regarding fashion and how we present ourselves was interesting.
I struggled with some areas that the authors noted were 'Gender Conundrums', such as full inclusively for trans people in sports, which I feel isn't as black and white as the authors tried to make out. Sure, there's little harm in transgender or gender creative children participating in their chosen sports as their lived gender, but it becomes more challenging when you start to consider elite levels of sport, or sporting records. It was noted that the International Olympic Committee has passed decisions on transgender participation down to individual sport's governing bodies, to be decided on factors beyond historic prejudice, and that hormones levels don't directly correlate to sporting ability, but ended by implying that such a small percentage the population identify as trans that it's hardly worth considering the effects of allowing them to compete. I just feel that oversimplified the issues surrounding elite competition versus the benefits of participation and inclusion.
I also found their use of gendered pronouns for referenced case studies could be unexpected. If a child designated female at birth arrives at a gender clinic because they identify as male, or confused, the use of the pronoun 'she' feels like misrepresentation. There were a few times where 'they' spoke of being misgendered would have seemed like a much more natural pronoun to have used.
All comments are just my personal thoughts and interpretation of a book written by experts that have helped to define gender-affirming care. They clearly have a love and talent for their work, and deep respect for the youths and families that they work with.
I thought that the chapter that looked at how gender definitions have changed over time, especially regarding fashion and how we present ourselves was interesting.
I struggled with some areas that the authors noted were 'Gender Conundrums', such as full inclusively for trans people in sports, which I feel isn't as black and white as the authors tried to make out. Sure, there's little harm in transgender or gender creative children participating in their chosen sports as their lived gender, but it becomes more challenging when you start to consider elite levels of sport, or sporting records. It was noted that the International Olympic Committee has passed decisions on transgender participation down to individual sport's governing bodies, to be decided on factors beyond historic prejudice, and that hormones levels don't directly correlate to sporting ability, but ended by implying that such a small percentage the population identify as trans that it's hardly worth considering the effects of allowing them to compete. I just feel that oversimplified the issues surrounding elite competition versus the benefits of participation and inclusion.
I also found their use of gendered pronouns for referenced case studies could be unexpected. If a child designated female at birth arrives at a gender clinic because they identify as male, or confused, the use of the pronoun 'she' feels like misrepresentation. There were a few times where 'they' spoke of being misgendered would have seemed like a much more natural pronoun to have used.
All comments are just my personal thoughts and interpretation of a book written by experts that have helped to define gender-affirming care. They clearly have a love and talent for their work, and deep respect for the youths and families that they work with.
July 18, 2024
This book was really something I needed to read. I've been trying to educate myself no on "how to be the best ally" but how to unlearn things. This opened my eyes a lot on when it comes to conversations that I might not know how to react and how to make someone feel safe, especially when it comes to Gender Identity.
It's not always having the right answer, but to listen and not judge. It's obviously not easy to always know the right thing to say or how the be the prefect ally. It's always important to listen. I highly recommend people read this.
I got an e-arc of this book on NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
It's not always having the right answer, but to listen and not judge. It's obviously not easy to always know the right thing to say or how the be the prefect ally. It's always important to listen. I highly recommend people read this.
I got an e-arc of this book on NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
July 18, 2025
Ok so my only issue with this book is that I wish there had been more information regarding adults; this book was heavily focused on youth and their gender diversity, as well as the overarching theme of gender diversity. That said, this book was very informative and tackled a lot of misconceptions about trans and gender diverse youth. Very well done, and well supported facts.
May 8, 2024
Reviewed for Library Journal, full review appears there.
October 4, 2024
This book tries to explain the whole gender as a spectrum thing. It relies on feelings rather than science. It actually confirmed that we as a society have some really mixed up people who are rationalizing wants rather than needs.
February 28, 2025
As someone who works in healthcare and provides gender-affirming care and will fight to continue to do so, I feel like there’s good information here, but the presentation felt kind of dry.
September 6, 2024
As a middle-aged woman struggling to understand the proliferation of gender identities and expressions and some of the related controversies, I found this book written by two psychologists specializing in gender-affirmative care helpful. It certainly didn’t answer all of my questions, but it’s a good start.
Most of the text focuses on what the authors refer to as ”gender creativity” in children and teens. They dispel many of the common myths about gender and gender-affirming care and provide encouragement for those of us trying to be more supportive and inclusive. They also include extensive notes (about a fourth of the book).
The text dragged a bit for me at times, but that’s partly because I seldom interact with children, so much of the content wasn’t directly relevant to me. I do think this book would be helpful for parents, teachers, and others who regularly interact with children.
I was provided an unproofed ARC through NetGalley that I volunteered to review.
Most of the text focuses on what the authors refer to as ”gender creativity” in children and teens. They dispel many of the common myths about gender and gender-affirming care and provide encouragement for those of us trying to be more supportive and inclusive. They also include extensive notes (about a fourth of the book).
The text dragged a bit for me at times, but that’s partly because I seldom interact with children, so much of the content wasn’t directly relevant to me. I do think this book would be helpful for parents, teachers, and others who regularly interact with children.
I was provided an unproofed ARC through NetGalley that I volunteered to review.
December 22, 2024
I grew up in a very different time. I appreciated many aspects of this book but some I simply don't accept. I don't think transitioning is done for the same reasons for everyone and I don't believe that everyone's journey down this path is smooth and healthy. That part is not really acknowledged in this book and that disappointed me. I wanted a book that explained the good and the bad so to speak. I very much appreciated the definitions because I always found that confusing. It was an interesting read overall and I wish we all lived in a world where everyone was happy within themselves and we all respected each other. And I wish gender identity was not politicized! I know that this is not reality. I'm glad I read this book though and I look forward to reading more about this topic.
May 23, 2025
I liked the colorful cover and all the information presented in this thought-provoking book. It answers a lot of common questions in a reassuring way and both educates and inspires people to work toward a more inclusive society. Even if one doesn't agree with everything stated in the book, it shares a lot of useful information based on research and the authors' experiences that can be considered by both parents and the public at large. Sadly, although this book was published only last year (in 2024), it was already outdated on p. 6 when it stated that U.S. citizens are permitted to be an "X" gender on their passports, as our new authoritarian regime immediately outlawed it in January 2025.
May 7, 2024
Written by two child psychologists, this book is an easy to read roadmap to gender.
It includes stories from actual patients (with their names changed, of course) along with the research into gender identities. I think this is a great add to any public library shelves. It's easy to understand and the authors obviously care a great deal about their patients.
It includes stories from actual patients (with their names changed, of course) along with the research into gender identities. I think this is a great add to any public library shelves. It's easy to understand and the authors obviously care a great deal about their patients.
September 7, 2024
I read a proof of this book and not the finished copy but I enjoyed it! As someone who considers themselves to be gender literate, I didn’t find anything new in this book beyond some supportive statistics and anecdotal stories. Regardless it was interesting and well written!
November 29, 2024
Does well enough surveying what gender-affirming care is and the studies behind it for the lay reader, although said reader must come up with their own arguments if they want to explain gender (or wrestle with the ethical conundrums of gender) from any perspective beyond the secular and medical.
November 6, 2024
Good introduction of gender-affirming care and the controversies that surround it. Fusions of testimonies and data made the book informative in both a qualitative and quantitative way.
April 5, 2025
An informative, accessible read. This should be on everyone's reading list.
July 5, 2025
Great book, if you really want to understand gender affirming care, please read this.
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July 17, 2025As someone with extensive education in anatomy, physiology & pathology with emphasis in Parapsychology I am not impressed with this book. This book lacks physical research, lacks any studies done on the human brain/body to prove this ideology. Dont get me wrong I respect Psychologists but all these writers did is base information off what clients have told them w/majority of their references being other books by those that have similiar view points. "When it comes to explaining gender, children are our best teachers." So Doctorates & scientific studies dont matter?! an what boggles me further is that they claim that children are capable of understanding what gender is when the child is not older than 5 yrs old. Their prefontal cortex is in beginning stages of forming which is responsible for helping make good decision making yet is still being developed even into mid 40's, so to claim that a child can adequately discern whether he is a she, cant hold credibility within the medical community especially at that age when children struggle to even know/remember the names of majority of colors.
204 pages of crap that couldve all been summarized in a few paragraphs.
204 pages of crap that couldve all been summarized in a few paragraphs.
December 13, 2025
A useful primer on gender identity and expression for parents, caregivers and others supporting young people in a complicated world. As an educator I found the book a useful summation of what truly supporting, gender affirming care looks like. Good advise for how to navigate the hardest questions related to gender and sex.
Displaying 1 - 20 of 20 reviews