Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (or Just Me)?: Adventures in Boyhood

by Jay Ellis

A hilarious and vulnerable exploration of growing up with a Fresh Prince-meets-Dwyane Wade imaginary sidekick (as one does), from one of the stars of HBO's Insecure

What to do when you're the perpetual new kid, only child, military brat hustling school-to-school each year and everyone's looking to you for answers? Make some shit up, of course! And a young Jay Ellis does just that, with help from every child's favorite co-conspirator—their imaginary best friend. Born in the perfect storm of especially ferocious rain and a sugar-fueled imagination, Mikey, his imaginary best friend, steps in to figuratively hold Jay's hand through various youthful shenanigans.

A testament to the importance of imagination, trusting oneself, and making space for your creativity, Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend or Just Me? is a memoir of a 90s kid who confided in his imaginary sidekick to navigate everything from parallel pop culture universes, like watching Fresh Prince alongside John Hughes movies or listening to Ja Rule and Dave Matthews, to a lifetime of birthday disappointment (being a Christmas season Capricorn will do that to you) and hoop dreams gone bad. Mikey also guides him through greater tragedies, like losing his teenage cousin in a mistaken-target driveby and the shame and fear of being pulled over by cops almost a dozen times the year he got his driver's license.

As imaginary friend morphs into adult consciousness, Ellis charts an unforgettable story of looking within yourself for guidance to some of life’s biggest (and smallest) challenges, told in the roast-you-with-love voice of your closest homie.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Humor, Biography, Audiobook, Biography Memoir

288 pages, Hardcover

Published July 30, 2024

Reviews

[Traci Thomas · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a sweet little memoir in essays from a celeb. There isn't anything here about his life as an actor or his journey to becoming one. It is all about his childhood, which he tells us clearly from jump. It isn't a life changing book, but it is also totally unoffensive and readable, with some fun antidotes stories, and childhood mess ups.

[Jeremy Perrault ✨Peterpan23💫 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I walked into the library and was taken aback by the colorful cover. I normally do not pick by cover, but this one spoke to me in a 90's nostalgia kind of way. I opened the cover and read the description with a smile on my face. I never would have thunk to just walk by a new book shelf and be mesmerized by the simplicity of a cover, and instant feeling of nostalgia.

Jay Ellis is amazing. He is smart, funny, down to earth and overall the type of guy you would expect to have in your corner if you were a nerd like me in high school. I was an athlete, but typically on the book/street smart side as well. This biography explains adventures of a boy who had an imaginary friend, but also a big imagination. As we get older we can lose that, however, if we hold on to that childhood and always remember where we came from, then we never will lose that youthful spark.

It was a interesting read, and I would recommend giving it a go.

Happy reading my friends! =)

[Nnenna | notesbynnenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to the publisher for giving me a free copy of this book! All opinions are my own.

As a fan of Insecure, I was definitely intrigued when I heard that Jay Ellis was writing a book. This is a collection of essays about his childhood and teenage years, and the adventures that he got up to with his imaginary friend, Mikey. I thought it was such an enjoyable read!

I love that Ellis came with the facts and citations about the prevalence of imaginary friends among children. He is an only child and he moved around a lot when he was younger, so his imaginary friend was a constant in his life that helped him cope with the chaos around him. He also wrote about the importance of play and giving children the space to let their imaginations develop.

Ellis is a great storyteller and narrator. I had so much fun listening to this and I loved that he included cameos from his parents as well. He describes his experience growing up as a Black boy in the 80s and 90s amidst so many cultural moments. There were some sad stories in here, but I thought he moved well between the serious and more lighthearted moments. I loved getting to learn more about his life and background, but I think you could enjoy this even if you had no idea who he is.

If you’re looking for a fun nonfiction read to add to your TBR, then I’d definitely recommend this one!

//

Ellis is such a great narrator and storyteller! I loved learning more about his background and this was such a fun audiobook (so well-produced)! Full review to come.

[Glen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I won this book in a goodreads drawing.

Jay Ellis, whom I've never heard of, is apparently some sort of famous actor. Sic Transit Gloria. During the pandemic, he started this book.

His childhood wasn't all that different than Bill Cosby's except in a different time. He was mostly working class, but still had poor relations. An only child, he had an imaginary friend, who was much cooler than he. In the picture, he looks like actor Kadeem Hardison from It's A Different World, who in the pantheon of coolness, comes in somewhere behind the Mon chi chis.

Some humor, but nothing really stands out.

[Dre · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (or Just Me)? by Jay Ellis was such a treat! The moment I saw the cover adorned with references from my own coming-of-age (Dwayne Wayne, the pager, and the floppy-disk), I knew this book would be one I could relate to.

Jay Ellis makes it known in the beginning of the book that it isn't a memoir. He even reminds us later in reading that he hasn't "lived enough" to consider this book a memoir. That has no bearing on how solid these childhood stories are. I was entertained from beginning to end, even scared a few times (especially during that melee at the movie theater). Ellis recounts stories of growing up with his imaginary friend, Mikey, so vividly, I pictured a precocious little boy running alongside him through every adventure shared.

While readers won't find much about the onset of an acting career for Jay Ellis within these pages, we do see that his bright imagination was an inspiration from the start. Isn't that the stuff creatives are made of? I can remember claiming to have an imaginary friend through the early years of elementary school, but nothing as close and consistent as Mikey. Mikey went to pre-school with Jay, wreaking havoc. He moved across states with Jay, as he was a military kid who changed schools quite a bit. And he even caught the blame for many bad decisions Jay made throughout his younger years. With each essay, I looked forward to reading what Mikey would get Jay into next.

Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (or Just Me)? is an exciting gift for those of us who have found safe spaces in imaginary friends and/or wild imaginations. Jay's stories lure you in and keep you excited for "the good part," wondering how Mikey will show up and how much damage he will cause. Even as Mikey begins to fade away and Ellis gets older, we see how much of an affect an imaginary friend has had on Ellis.

Also, seeing that celebrities with a star as bright as Jay's still get anxious about sharing their work was affirming. We all feel that same vulnerability when sharing parts of ourselves that can easily be dismissed, ridiculed, or shamed. Jay Ellis, I am glad that you shared your "imaginary friend" story during the pandemic. It is the reason I was able to experience such a beautiful book that I won't soon forget. I hope you continue to write and share even more of your stories + creative works.

Many thanks to Netgalley and Random House Publishing Group for an eARC of Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (or Just Me)? by Jay Ellis. All thoughts and opinions shared are my own.



4 Stars

[Shelby (allthebooksalltheways) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you #partners @oneworldbooks @coloringbooks & @jayrellis for my gifted hardcover & audiobook, and for the most amazing box of goodies sent to celebrate the release of this fantastic memoir. 🎉

Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (or Just Me?)
By Jay Ellis
Audiobook narrated by the author

Inspired to write his story during the COVID-19 pandemic, actor Jay Ellis chronicles his coming-of-age journey as a military child, perpetually "the new kid," who finds comfort and companionship in Mikey, his Fresh Prince-meets-Dwayne-Wayne imaginary friend. Full of 90s nostalgia, Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend is an adventurous, humorous, and heartfelt tale that will have readers reminiscing on their own childhood. This one will really resonate with those of us who grew up in the 90s.

🎧 If audiobooks are your thing, you'll definitely want to listen to Ellis tell his story in his own words. ❤️

📌 If you want to see Ellis on his book tour, his schedule is pinned to his IG!

📌 Available now!

[Lauryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a charming and honest memoir about Jay’s childhood imaginary friend and his (remarkably detailed) memories of him. Telling the story through the lens of his friendship with an imaginary friend was unique but overall it’s a pretty standard memoir about his experiences growing up with army parents who moved a ton, as a black man and as a creative. Fun to listen to him read the book himself, and it was a positive uplifting story!

[Bob Levine · Rating 4 out of 5]

What started out as a relationship between an only child of teenage parents and his make-believe friend turns into a coming of age story. Mixed in are humorous antidotes and lessons learned, as he learns, primarily through trial an error, how to navigate how to always be the new kid in school.

Good light-hearted read

[Krystle Hasapis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley, Random House Publishing Group-Random House | One World, Jay Ellis, for this ARC of "Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (or Just me)" out tomorrow, July 30th!

I have been a fan of Jay Ellis since watching Insecure. When I saw his book was coming out and I got selected to read it before release, I was so excited! I wasn't sure what to expect but this was a cute book of stories about his life growing up. I liked that there were pictures for each chapter and we got to see him during the age of that year. Less than 200 pages and a pretty quick read, I'd recommend if you are a fan of his. I hope they release an audiobook because if so, I will listen to it if he's the narrator and would possibly increase my rating too. I usually enjoy biographies when the person writing is also the person narrating it.

Overall Rating: I'm rounding up 3.5 stars to 4!

This novel was provided by the publisher, via Net Galley, in exchange for my honest review.

[Ashley]

DNF after a solid 25%, which was a VERY good try considering how much I didn't enjoy this book from the first page. I didn't have an imaginary friend growing up, but I thought the stories Jay included would still be pretty relatable. And if not relatable, at least funny.

I was way off. I'll attribute it to my not having imaginary friends, I guess....

Also want to mention that typically I'd give a book more than 25% before DNFing, but this was essentially story after story about his imaginary friend. If I didn't care about his IF yet, I wasn't going to.

{Thank you to Goodreads Giveaway for the print copy I won! And another thank you to NetGalley, Jay Ellis, and publisher for providing an eARC in e,change for my honest review!}

[Jay Guillory · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a huge fan of Jay Ellis from his time on Insecure. So, when I heard about his book last summer, I added it to my TBR list. I want to thank Joy for selecting it for the book club, as that helped me finally read it. The book was incredibly hilarious, and I was entertained from beginning to end. I also learned a lot about his childhood that I hadn’t known before. Jay definitely reminded me that we all do crazy things when we're kids and often blame our imaginary friends. I'm also a fan of learning more about actors I see on television because it reminds me that they are normal people just like the rest of us. If you are looking for a good read that is both funny and humanizes a celebrity, this is a great choice!

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd never heard of this young man until I saw him on a talk show.. He seemed funny. And that title!
The book was no where near as funny as I thought it might have been. What it is a story of a child whose military family moved. A lot. Which made Ellis the perennial new kid. Through the fatal drive-by shooting of a cousin, being stopped numerous times while driving black his first year with a driver's license, his imaginary friend helped guide him.
I mostly found it a shame how much the school boy experienced in urban neighborhoods. Stuff I'd only read about.

[PaShioun · Rating 2 out of 5]

FYI, the audiobook is a more immersive experience. I couldn't get into actually reading this memoir, but it was a silly coming-of-age book that offered a chuckle here and there. This is prob more palatable to those who grew up in the 90s due to the abundance of references. I loved hearing the experiences of Ellis when he moved to Tulsa for his teenage years.

[cinder]

I didn’t know this wasn’t technically a memoir until I started reading it! But that made sense for the story he was telling. Jay Ellis is a lively and entertaining narrator, would recommend the audiobook for this one!

[Kaara · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun read that highlights Jay's coming of age in 90's hip-hop culture. I LOL'ed and reminisced while listening to the audiobook.

[RxReads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ugh, this book is just the sweetest, most heartwarming read! Jay Ellis takes you on this wild ride through his life as the perpetual new kid, but he's got his trusty imaginary bestie Mikey by his side the whole time. It's like a mashup of Fresh Prince vibes and that classic coming-of-age feel - super funny, but also really genuine and vulnerable. From navigating all the pop culture references of the 90s to dealing with some heavy stuff like losing his cousin, Mikey is always there to hype Jay up and give him that much-needed dose of encouragement. It's all about embracing your creativity, trusting yourself, and having that one ride-or-die friend, even if they only exist in your imagination. Jay's voice is just so relatable and endearing, like chatting with your closest girlfriend. If you've ever had an imaginary friend (or just wished you did!), you've gotta pick this one up. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, and it'll leave you with the sweetest sense of nostalgia. Seriously, do yourself a favor and read this book! 💕✨

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jay Ellis’s book, Did Everyone Have An Imaginary Friend (Or Just Me)?, spoke to a childhood nostalgia that I don’t visit often in books, and I’m grateful for that. Ellis writes this book in a series of short stories, recounting his misadventures with his imaginary friend Mikey by his side (& in his mind). As he fumbled through choices (some good, many bad in a rambunctious kid way), Mikey is Ellis’s companion as he grows into his understanding of boyhood and early manhood. There’s a genuine curiosity and playfulness that Ellis fits into each moment that kept me reading. Letting Mikey and that relationship be the focus allows Ellis to escape some of the monotony that can happen when recounting memory. Rather, it highlights joy and emotionality, which I think is particularly important from young men.

Ellis writes that he believes most creative people have an imaginary friend growing up and wonders what would happen if we didn’t lose this curiosity and openness—if instead we rechanneled it. The end of the book finds Ellis reflecting on the impact of Mikey, as a “catalyst” for his imagination. I hope this book can reach others to reclaim that imagination.

[Celeste celestially_yours Bradford · Rating 4 out of 5]

There’s a lot to be said when celebrities come out with books about their childhood. This one is no different. I loved his openness about his childhood. I especially loved when he talked about his love for basketball and the whole 80’s -90’s vibe of this book. I didn’t have an imaginary friend, because I had a twin sister💓 but I definitely feel like I went through some of these same stores he tells 👌🏽I blamed things on her. My kids are military brats so I could relate AJ’s need to ask them about their experiences after reading this book. It’s thought provoking and an entertaining read📚

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (Or Just Me) by Jay Ellis Book Review


In Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (Or Just Me), Jay Ellis has written his autobiography feeling his tall tale adventures with his imaginary friend, Mikey. Readers will recognize Jay from his tv acting. He stars in the HBO series Insecure. He compares his friend to become someone he could trusts and count on. Mikey was like his older brother who would protect him at all costs. He explained that he loves to learn and he was always a student at heart. He would often take classes in between his acting roles. Instead of a superhero role, he choose him to be a young black man who dressed in the latest trends and had a fresh haircut. He was calm, curious, and easy going. He grew up as a only child and was alone most of the time. He came from a traveling military family. He shared how he came to him during a bad storm when he was about four years old. He was trapped in a swamp surrounded by crocodiles and he couldn’t even go to his parents room in fear that he would be eaten. He opened up about how he stayed with him through his high school years even. He was around through the crazy teenager experiences. Mikey taught him how to trust his instincts, having a spirit of play, and accepting who you are.


I would recommend this creative book on imaginary friends mixed with his life story. I liked how he shared about his experiences with gangs, first kiss, dating, getting pulled over by the cops a few times, and much more. He has some fun and exciting stories to share. What was surprising to me was the fact that his best friend stayed with him throughout his schools years until he faded away. In writing this book, he learned that others have also experienced an imaginary friend. I remember playing pretending when I was younger but my imaginary friends would have had superpowers and they weren’t and every day looking person. I also am an only child so I can relate creating someone to bring you comfort through life experiences. I think he did an excellent job in detailing what he went through growing up and how his imaginary friend was there through it all. I also liked how he enclosed pictures throughout the book to bring the book even more to life and relatable.

[LiteraryMarie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jay Ellis, born Wendell Ramone Ellis Jr., tells the adventurous story of growing up with an imaginary friend. As a military brat, Jay was the perpetual new kid shuffling from school to school. He was an only child used to making shit up—hence, imaginary friend Mikey, who was part Dwayne Wayne, part Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Mikey was there through birthday disappointments, pop culture, hoop dreams, gang jump-ins, road trips, young love and so much more.

Jay Ellis had me at the title: Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (Or Just Me)? I absolutely did have an imaginary friend that everyone had to acknowledge. Set a place at the table, buckle the seatbelt, pull a chair out and include in conversations. My imaginary friend kept me company, gave me courage and evolved into adult consciousness. So it was not just you, Jay Ellis. Thanks for validating imaginary friends!

Judge this book by the cover! It is colorful, fun and totally for 80s babies who came of age in the 90s. Whether you recognize him as Lawrence from Insecure, Bryce on The Game or as the talented Black actor (now author) he is, add this nonfiction book to your reading list this summer. You will deep dive into the content, laugh in agreement and get lost in the childhood memories. Told through the voice of your homeboy, this memoir was unputdownable and oh so enjoyable!

Happy Early Pub Day, Jay Ellis! Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (Or Just Me)?: Adventures in Boyhood will be available on July 30.

Disclaimer: An advance copy was received directly from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Opinions are my own and would be the same if I spent my hard-earned coins. ~LiteraryMarie

[Jasmine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Somewhere between a 3.0 and 3.5

I was surprised (even though I shouldn't be), that he wrote a book. From the beginning of the book, he said it's a not a memoir as he hasn't lived long enough to write one but rather this was to share stories of his childhood. His imaginary friend, Mikey, was a major part of his life as he grew up. His imaginary friend was there for several lessons of learning how to make new friends as he moved around and making decisions. The research he shared in the beginning of the book was interesting to read in regards to know helpful it can be for little kids to learn about themselves and navigate the world. Kids today spend soooo much time on devices that they sadly don't seem to use their imagination or "get bored" enough to initiate it. At the end of the book he talks about how Mikey was his inner voice helping him navigate through life. Overall, it's an adorable book and a cute way to learn about him through little snippets of his life story. It was a quick read, but meh.

[Genene · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's rare to find a celebrity read that doesn't fill its pages with ego or success. Here, Ellis reveals his childhood as an only, guided by his ride-or-die and very often higher self Mikey. It's Ellis' inner voice, his moral compass, although that last part is debatable and his humor and humility shows why. This morning, I can still hear the voices of his imaginary hero and elementary friends on the court (ball is life), and when Mr. Theater Teacher shows who he is. I'm still at that miraculous truck stop with his grandpa. And I too, feel the hairs stand, when Jay is headed home from tee-peeing that one girl's house. Dino scares me straight and when you know him, you know the lesson of peer pressure. Ellis' family, his parents and grandma, linger my imagination. This coming-of-age memoir of sorts—played out in skits and lessons, workshopped for something greater—stays with me. I miss it already.

Thank you Downers Grove Public Library for the New Books section and thanks to all the readers that didn't pick this up first. It was waiting for me to find.

[Angelica · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed “Did Everyone Have Imaginary Friends (Or Just Me?)” by Jay Ellis. The book is a fun and nostalgic journey that brings back memories of childhood imagination. Ellis has a unique way of blending humor with heartfelt moments, making it both entertaining and thought-provoking. His storytelling is engaging, and I found myself laughing out loud at some of the relatable anecdotes.

The book dives into the concept of imaginary friends and how they shaped the author’s life, sparking my own memories of childhood creativity. While the pace slowed down a bit in some parts, overall, it’s a delightful read that offers a fresh perspective on the power of imagination.

If you’re looking for a lighthearted and reflective book that will take you on a trip down memory lane, this is definitely worth picking up. Jay Ellis does a great job of reminding us of the joy and innocence of our younger years.

[Eryka · Rating 4 out of 5]

Did Everyone Have an Imaginary Friend (Or Just Me)?: Adventures in Boyhood by Jay Ellis is a nostalgic and deeply personal collection of life stories reflecting the experiences of a Black boy growing up in the '80s and '90s in the U.S. Jay, born to young married parents with a father in the military, shares his journey as an only child who relied on his imagination to cope with the challenges of frequent moves and transient life. His stories, from a brief stint as a gang member to his first heartbreak, resonate with readers who grew up in similar circumstances or simply appreciate the power of imagination. As an only child myself, I connected deeply with Jay's tales, recalling my own imaginary sibling. This book is a heartfelt and relatable read for anyone who values the significance of creativity in shaping one’s childhood experiences.

Thanks to NetGalley and One World for the advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

[Michael McDermott · Rating 4 out of 5]

I became a fan of Ellis after watching him on Insecure so to find that his talent extended off the screen was exciting. He is an enveloping storyteller and the way in which he writes these memories of his childhood is both poignant and exhilarating.

As someone who grew up in the 90s, I was immediately sold on the book with all the cultural influences mentioned at the start. Ellis is right - everyone says their generation is the best, but the 90s was the last time it felt like anything original existed. While revisiting these memories through the lens of his childhood make believe friend, Mikey, Ellis shows how creativity has fostered so much of his youth and who he is now. Ellis has certainly seen some shit. While I couldn’t personally relate to some of the stories, I was glued to the page and fascinated by how he maneuvered through some dangerous situations.

Ellis is a charming, gifted writer and and I hope he continues to explore being an author and/or storyteller.

[T. Rash · Rating 3 out of 5]

Since I never had an imaginary friend (at least not that I remember) I found the concept hard to comprehend. The explanatory chapter at the beginning was a big help in understanding it, but it was a little dry, making me wonder about the rest of the book.

Once we got into the actual events, though, the book became more interesting. I still had trouble comprehending the friend, but he seemed very real and likable—most of the time. In fact, I often forgot he was imaginary and read the book as if it were two boys.

The chapters when he wasn’t around were also interesting to read, as they had entirely different scenarios than I grew up with.

Glad it ended with a blurb about how the author got from high school to where he is now, but I think it would have been nicer if it had been a full chapter.

[Bobbi]

This was a nice peek into Jay Ellis’ boyhood and teenage years. I love that he got his parents to assist in the audio narration and I can tell he’s done a lot of introspective work in either therapy or some psychological reading. He noted at the beginning of the book that he cannot define this as a memoir, because he has so much more life to live and wisdom to grow and I respect that. This is a look through the eyes of his perspective on growing up, especially with his imaginary friend, Mikey. It is very common for children that move around a lot, are only children, or have a lot of change in their lives to create an imaginary friend to cope and it is super normal as a kid to process this way. It shows a creative spirit and I am interested in seeing Jay Ellis’ growth as an actor and man over the coming years.

[Kayla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jay Ellis captured growing up in the 80s/90s in such a way that it unlocked memories for me. This was a relatable celebrity memoir to read. I loved that it wasn't a "celebrity book" that was filled with name dropping. Jay was open and honest about his child and being an only child who is also a "military brat".

I forgot about my imaginary friend, until reading more and more about Jay and Mikey. Mikey was Jay's right hand man and had a hand in shaping him into the person he is today. As Jay reflects, we learn the life lessons along with him on how impactful Mikey was and also when Mikey started fading with age.

This is a book that I'd recommend to any parent figure, especially one that has a little one with an active imagination!

[junia]

It was fun reading about jay Ellis’s childhood and his random ruminations about imaginary friends and creativity but like that was kind of it.

I thought his stories were hilarious and look forward to reading an actual memoir. I listened to the audiobook and his mom actually read her parts… she sounded super young!

Also this unlocked random memories about the 90s in some areas and was sobering in others (n word and young gang initiation practices)

[Apoorva Garigipati · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is super well written! It was interesting reading about how much influence having an imaginary friend can nurture creativity in children (although it should’ve helped him when he played Lawrence on Insecure because there are still no woop woop’s on my phone).

Had to only give 4 stars because there were times I felt the chapters dragged on for too long and it was hard to stay engaged with some of the smaller stories.