What

by John Cooper Clarke

'Nothing short of dazzling' – Alex Turner

Dr John Cooper Clarke's dazzling, scabrous voice has reverberated through pop culture for decades, his influence on generations of performance poets and musicians plain for all to see. In WHAT, the original 'People's Poet' comes storming out of the gate with an uproarious new collection, reminding us why he is one of Britain's most beloved writers and performers. James Brown, John F. Kennedy, Jesus nobody is safe from the punk rocker's acerbic pen – and that's just the first poem.

Hot on the heels of The Luckiest Guy Alive and his sprawling, encyclopaediac memoir I Wanna Be Yours , the good Doctor returns with his most trenchant collection of poems yet. Vivid and alive, with a sensitivity only a writer with a life as varied and extraordinary as Cooper Clarke's could summon, WHAT is an exceptional collection from one of our foremost satirists.

Genres: Poetry, Audiobook

65 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 8, 2024

About the author

John Cooper Clarke (born 25 January 1949) is an English performance poet who first became famous during the punk rock era of the late 1970s when he became known as a "punk poet". He released several albums in the late 1970s and early 1980s, and continues to perform regularly.

Reviews

[Stephen · Rating 4 out of 5]

enjoyed this collection of short poems

[Tom Mooney · Rating 4 out of 5]

At 75, he's still got it. The audiobook is free on Spotify Premium and absolutely the way to experience this.

[Charlie Brock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just superb from JCC. The man can do no wrong: funny, witty, nonsensical and aptly on the nose in equal measure.

[Oscar Lye · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some refreshingly cynical and morbid poems from John Cooper Clarke. He writes in an accessible style that seeks not to alienate the reader, but his poetry is complex and nuanced enough to captivate. His narrative voice seems perennially rooted in the values of post-industrial Northern English working class life in a way that feels genuine and unaffected.

Standing at the confluence of Punk and Goth, John Cooper Clarke has silently defined the ethos and character of British alternative culture since the 1970s.

[Martyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun and cutting collection of poems.

[Simon Duffill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another winner from Dr Clarke.

[Fionnbharr Rodgers · Rating 4 out of 5]

A bit of craic.

[Louise Bath · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️¾

I didn't enjoy this as much as I did the joyous The Luckiest Guy Alive, or the peerless Ten Years In An Open-Neck Shirt. Some of the poems are quite dark; Dekko Beach may upset a few folk, and Lydia, Girl With An Itch, is about necrophilia.

There's the usual off-beat subject matter, such an Ode To Farah Slacks, whilst R U The Business is almost a love poem. The later poems in the book are particularly good, such as Doomed, For George, Son Of The Mailman, Diez Macarenas (my personal absolute favourite), Rolling News Blues (like Doomed, a very pertinent poem), Hawkeye Magoo, and the wonderful martial, staccato rhythm of Beatnik Empire. Most fun is Sheffield, written for The Arctic Monkeys to the tune of Stockport! by Frankie Vaughan.

Several poems, such as the melancholy Ode To The Coast, have a darker feel, a strain of sadness and decay, and an almost elegaic sense of things falling apart.

[Colin · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best bit is reading it in his voice.

[Jim · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you've not heard John Cooper Clarke before—NB heard, not read—then go to YouTube and search for 'Evidently Chickentown' or 'Kung Fu International' or 'I Wanna Be Yours' and then we'll talk. Clarke, more than any other poet, needs to be read/heard in his own voice. What first comes across as amateurish poetry on the page gets transformed on stage. And once you've got that voice in your head you can't look at a John Cooper Clarke poem the same way again.

Clarke could easily have disappeared along with the punks who embraced him and yet somehow he survived and thrived. Granted, the visceral power of 'Evidently Chickentown' was going to be a hard act to follow, and poems like 'Clown Town' and 'Dream House Ghetto' aren't a match but the old magic is still there and there isn't a poem that doesn't have it's moments.

One of the better ones ('Blue Collar Wallah') opens:

There’s a heteronormative handyman
West of the Fairtrade aisle
He’s wearing full-length trousers
And a patriarchal smile
He’s shod in manly footwear
His house phone has a dial
He doesn’t deal with crank calls
His attitude is on file
He’s an old school delinquent
Eating chips and drinking ale
While listening to The Beatles
He oughta be in jail

On the surface this is a quick and easy read but it's also easy to dismiss and it doesn't deserve that. Like any decent poet there's subtext here. He has something to say and he says it in his own inimitable fashion.

[Sean Keefe · Rating 3 out of 5]

There’s nothing wrong with this
I’m not gonna knock it
It’s decent little book
That’ll fit your inside pocket

It’s a nice little collection
Way more hit than miss
But seventeen quid for 53 pages
Is surely taking the piss

Seen the Bard Of Salford a million times
Always brings me pleasure
I’ll be first to stick my head above the trench
And declare him a National Treasure

I’ll stop writing doggerel now
Before it becomes a bore
All I’m saying is this collection
Could have featured a whole lot more

It’s well worth a gamble
Certainly worth a punt
But whoever made it so bloody short
Needs a word with ‘emselves

[Peter Longden · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Sealey Challenge
Day 29: 'What' by John Cooper Clarke
With his customary inimitable style and panache, JCC delivers another stream of pacy poetic consciousness with hilarious consequences occasionally interrupted by searing social commentary. As always, his rhyme and rhythm is fast and furious, longer commentaries p followed by very short verse such as ‘Lydia’ and ‘Necrophilia’, the latter, he suggests, to be the cure to what is described in the first! I found myself laughing out loud at times!
Brilliant - a definite highlight amongst many highlights in this years #thesealeychallenge

[🌶 peppersocks 🧦 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reflections and lessons learned/the content of this book made me feel…
“You don't get it every week
It's utterly unique
What is this dish of which I speak
Boxing Day Bubble and Squeak”

Heheh! I always think that this poetry is from a slightly different generation to mine, but of course poetry is mostly timeless - hilarious and the Burnley poem has already been quoted since reading a few hours ago!

[Lena]

Måste nog läsas med hans röst i huvudet.

"There’s a heteronormative handyman
West of the Fairtrade aisle
He’s wearing full-length trousers
And a patriarchal smile
He’s shod in manly footwear
His house phone has a dial
He doesn’t deal with crank calls
His attitude is on file
He’s an old school delinquent
Eating chips and drinking ale
While listening to The Beatles
He oughta be in jail"

From Blue Collar Wallah

[Colin Murtagh · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wonderful short collection of one of the best punk poets this land has ever developed. His sharp rapier wit has not diminished over the years, not his gentlemanly humour when the turn takes him. He has a real understanding of language and rhythm which makes the poems a delight to read out loud. Short but very caustic at times this fits in nicely with his earlier work.

[David Kirlew-Morris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm relatively new to John Cooper Clarke's work, but I often hear his name mentioned at poetry events, so I thought I'd give this a go.

'What' is pretty good and, although short, it's full of his signature style.

It's enough to make me want to explore his work more and I can see it inspiring me when doing my own poetry about politics and society.

[Malcolm MacLaren · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great collection from John Cooper Clarke. Satirical social commentary with a caustic wit, and a use of language that takes your breath away. Best read aloud - the rhythm of his sentences is a thing of beauty.

[Richard Howard · Rating 4 out of 5]

After trying and (desperately) failing at trying to read a lot of contemporary poetry it's a joy to read something with an immediate, visceral impact. There's still a punky anger within many of the poems but it's all tempered by a razor sharp wit and a good dollop of humour.

[Cooch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Four and a half stars

A couple of less successful poems aside, this is brilliant - though perhaps a little on the short side pages wise. There are many killer lines and killer rhymes.

[Anthony Marie · Rating 3 out of 5]

22.10.25
Another little silly book,
From JCC, that's worth a look,
Cos reading it, it only took,
The length of a cuppa tea.

The thing that did stand out for me,
While flicking pages, on settee,
Was how the whole thing's meant to be,
Read in a funny accent.

[Sophie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sensational

[Evelyn · Rating 2 out of 5]

A haphazard compilation of the author’s poems. The collection lacks any theme and has few commonalities. The poems failed to resonate with me.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got more pleasure (and a lot of it) from the parts than the whole of each poem... on the whole, haha. I also appreciated all the references which are perhaps not current but still resonate.

[Paul Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gloriously grumpy rants from the great peoples' poet.

[Alyn Paul Coward · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fabulous stuff from The Bard of Salford. As good as this is to read it's nothing compared to witnessing the great man live. Catch him while you still can!

[Jess · Rating 3 out of 5]

As fun as it is to listen to JCC, I should have picked up a physical copy at the same time/rather than the audiobook. My brain can't keep up.

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

John Cooper Clarke’s poetry wordplay is always amusing.

[Richard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another cracking collection. Loved the stand out poem for me: Time Gentlemen Time

[Steven Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of some of the poet's work. Not terrible, not brilliant. Not as great as I'd hoped it would be.

[Maaike · Rating 4 out of 5]

Geef mij een spuitje vooraleer ik JCC minder dan vier sterren geef.