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When I Stop Fighting: The Unexpected Joy of Getting My Head Out of My Ass
“Just like water seeks its own level, so does everything else, including idiots. I was one of those at that point in my life.” When I Stop Fighting is an eye-opening, honest, unapologetic take on life. It’s about overcoming obstacles, overcoming addictions, and taking risks. Sometimes we find ourselves in a place in life where we don’t want to be. For me, there is no more glamorous way to explain it than my head was in my ass. I’m a regular guy with a regular upbringing. I’m not a Navy Seal, PhD, or retired politician. I came from a disciplined, blue-collar, mid-western household where our needs were met, but not many of our wants. There was no back-up plan. I wasn’t getting an inheritance. I was not living anything close to a productive, happy, fulfilling life. I was digging myself deeper into the quagmire of dysfunction, addiction to drugs and alcohol, hiding, fears, and dishonesty. Especially, dishonesty with myself. A self-imposed prison. I was moving ever closer to an end that would have been devastating. A moment of honesty and clarity shone a flicker of hope and opened my eyes to the potential for a different way of approaching this gift we call life. I started to become aware of what we all crave at one time or another. I wanted to be happy; I wanted peace and contentment; I wanted to be financially secure; I wanted to be free from my fears; I didn’t want to feel insecure and exposed; I wanted a different life. As When I Stop Fighting “I can be a victim of myself or a product of the work I do to become a better version of myself.” Trying and failing on many occasions does not mean we should quit. It means figure it out. It means try again. It means acquire the humility to admit you don’t know. This is a journey about doing just that. Having now been completely sober almost four decades, I’ve uncovered, committed to, and worked very hard on a way of life that keeps on giving, so that I can give to others.“ Look to principles for guidance. Rinse and repeat ad infinitum. If we don’t do that, we risk being tossed about by the waves of life, ad infinitum.” When I Stop Fighting illustrates how every single one of us can stop for a few moments, take a pause, evaluate ourselves, and determine what we want to get out of our time here. A move toward a fulfilling, gratifying, and rewarding place is available for all of us, no matter where we start. This is a must read if you or someone you know is struggling, stuck, scared, unsure, or in need of a brand-new way of perceiving themselves, their world, and this journey we call life. God may or may not have been calling me for a purpose. I’m not in charge of what God decides to do, nor would I pretend I might know. I’m pretty sure though, he was hoping I’d get my head out of my ass, so I can help others do the same.
- GenresSelf Help
223 pages, Kindle Edition
Published November 7, 2023
11 people are currently reading
12 people want to read
About the author
Daryl Dittmer
2 books5 followersAfter a humble and often tumultuous beginning to his life, Daryl Dittmer has worked relentlessly on himself for almost 40 years.
Having hailed from a blue-collar family and upbringing, work-ethic was instilled early and often. Daryl was put to work as a farm hand at an early age, at $1.50 per hour, and learned the immense value of hard work and long days.
Since those days, Daryl has been a carpenter, sales professional, business owner, builder, landlord, real estate investor, and consultant. Now, we’re able to add “author” to that list.
Daryl feels very fortunate to have had mentors assist him with his life’s journey and wants nothing more than to pass on what was so graciously given to him. He considers it an honor to be in a position to do that.
Having had ownership in several business ventures, Daryl has been as retired as he's wanted to be since the age of 48. Now he is focused on writing and telling his story, in order to give back.
With their sons grown and moved on, Daryl lives with his wife, Kristina, in the mountains of beautiful and peaceful North Georgia. They spend their rime hiking, hanging out with their Labs, and appreciating the mountain views and each other's company.
Having hailed from a blue-collar family and upbringing, work-ethic was instilled early and often. Daryl was put to work as a farm hand at an early age, at $1.50 per hour, and learned the immense value of hard work and long days.
Since those days, Daryl has been a carpenter, sales professional, business owner, builder, landlord, real estate investor, and consultant. Now, we’re able to add “author” to that list.
Daryl feels very fortunate to have had mentors assist him with his life’s journey and wants nothing more than to pass on what was so graciously given to him. He considers it an honor to be in a position to do that.
Having had ownership in several business ventures, Daryl has been as retired as he's wanted to be since the age of 48. Now he is focused on writing and telling his story, in order to give back.
With their sons grown and moved on, Daryl lives with his wife, Kristina, in the mountains of beautiful and peaceful North Georgia. They spend their rime hiking, hanging out with their Labs, and appreciating the mountain views and each other's company.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
November 1, 2023
The book description touches on several key themes and elements that make "When I Stop Fighting" an intriguing read:
1. Personal Transformation:
The book is centered around Mr. Dittmer's personal transformation journey. It's about moving from a point in life filled with dysfunction, addiction, and fear to a place of clarity and self-improvement. This transformation story can be inspirational and relatable to readers who have faced similar challenges.
2. Authenticity:
Mr. Dittmer's candid and unapologetic tone in describing his struggles and journey towards a better life underscores the importance of authenticity. This honesty can be empowering and comforting to those who may be dealing with their own issues.
3. Seeking Happiness and Fulfillment:
The desire for happiness, peace, financial security, and freedom from fear is a universal aspiration. The book explores how these goals can be achieved through self-awareness and personal growth, which can resonate with a wide range of readers.
4. Overcoming Adversity:
The book encourages resilience and not giving up in the face of failures and challenges. It emphasizes the importance of figuring things out and trying again, which can be a motivating message for anyone dealing with setbacks.
5. Empowering Others:
Mr. Dittmer's journey from addiction to sobriety and self-improvement has led to a commitment to helping others. This theme of giving back and making a positive impact on the lives of others is a heartwarming aspect of the book.
6. Spirituality and Self-Discovery:
The mention of God and divine purpose adds a spiritual dimension to the narrative, highlighting the idea of finding a higher purpose in one's life.
Overall, "When I Stop Fighting" seems to offer a multifaceted narrative that combines elements of personal growth, recovery, resilience, and the pursuit of a fulfilling life. It is a story of hope and redemption, encouraging readers to reflect on their own life journeys and strive for positive change.
I would definitely recommend it.
1. Personal Transformation:
The book is centered around Mr. Dittmer's personal transformation journey. It's about moving from a point in life filled with dysfunction, addiction, and fear to a place of clarity and self-improvement. This transformation story can be inspirational and relatable to readers who have faced similar challenges.
2. Authenticity:
Mr. Dittmer's candid and unapologetic tone in describing his struggles and journey towards a better life underscores the importance of authenticity. This honesty can be empowering and comforting to those who may be dealing with their own issues.
3. Seeking Happiness and Fulfillment:
The desire for happiness, peace, financial security, and freedom from fear is a universal aspiration. The book explores how these goals can be achieved through self-awareness and personal growth, which can resonate with a wide range of readers.
4. Overcoming Adversity:
The book encourages resilience and not giving up in the face of failures and challenges. It emphasizes the importance of figuring things out and trying again, which can be a motivating message for anyone dealing with setbacks.
5. Empowering Others:
Mr. Dittmer's journey from addiction to sobriety and self-improvement has led to a commitment to helping others. This theme of giving back and making a positive impact on the lives of others is a heartwarming aspect of the book.
6. Spirituality and Self-Discovery:
The mention of God and divine purpose adds a spiritual dimension to the narrative, highlighting the idea of finding a higher purpose in one's life.
Overall, "When I Stop Fighting" seems to offer a multifaceted narrative that combines elements of personal growth, recovery, resilience, and the pursuit of a fulfilling life. It is a story of hope and redemption, encouraging readers to reflect on their own life journeys and strive for positive change.
I would definitely recommend it.
February 23, 2025
I encountered this author and his books through his insightful and engaging posts on Instagram. As a recovering alcoholic, I find myself consistently intrigued by the experiences of others and open to acquiring new knowledge that may assist me in sustaining my recovery journey. Daryl had the fortune of achieving sobriety at a young age, and consequently, he possesses a wealth of experience and wisdom that he generously shares within this book.
The book opens like a biography, but Darryl skillfully incorporates educational insights into his narrative. From his childhood, he shares wisdom and practical guidance, often drawn from his hard-working parents. The author's honest and straightforward storytelling engages readers, even when the subject matter is tough. The lessons he imparts revolve around themes like honesty, self-awareness, reconciliation, humility, acceptance, and gratitude. It is clear that Darryl is dedicated to giving back to both the recovery community and society as a whole. I highly recommend this book, especially if you're seeking a thought-provoking read that can inspire positive changes in your life. Having already purchased his second book, I look forward to finishing it soon.
The book opens like a biography, but Darryl skillfully incorporates educational insights into his narrative. From his childhood, he shares wisdom and practical guidance, often drawn from his hard-working parents. The author's honest and straightforward storytelling engages readers, even when the subject matter is tough. The lessons he imparts revolve around themes like honesty, self-awareness, reconciliation, humility, acceptance, and gratitude. It is clear that Darryl is dedicated to giving back to both the recovery community and society as a whole. I highly recommend this book, especially if you're seeking a thought-provoking read that can inspire positive changes in your life. Having already purchased his second book, I look forward to finishing it soon.
January 7, 2024
"When I Stop Fighting: The Unexpected Joy of Getting My Head Out of My Ass" written by the author Daryl Dittmer is an inspirational memoir in which the author has shared his own journey from a troubled kid to a grateful life.
Daryl and his two other siblings were raised by their parents. His mom was strict and taught her kids the much needed manners while his dad wanted his kids to learn how to be self-reliant. Daryl's dad worked hard and never believed in spoon feeding his kids. While growing up, Daryl fell into the trap of impressing others where he was unable to say No for drinking, smoking, etc. He even went to attend an inpatient treatment program. Read his journey to know how he met various mentors along the way and how his life took a 360° turn.
Daryl's story teaches us to not have a victim mentality. It tells us the power of faith, consistency, willingness, beliefs, etc in one's life. The writing style of the author is nice. The title of the book is suitable. It is an uplifting story. I had a great time reading this book. I strongly recommend this book to my fellow readers.
Daryl and his two other siblings were raised by their parents. His mom was strict and taught her kids the much needed manners while his dad wanted his kids to learn how to be self-reliant. Daryl's dad worked hard and never believed in spoon feeding his kids. While growing up, Daryl fell into the trap of impressing others where he was unable to say No for drinking, smoking, etc. He even went to attend an inpatient treatment program. Read his journey to know how he met various mentors along the way and how his life took a 360° turn.
Daryl's story teaches us to not have a victim mentality. It tells us the power of faith, consistency, willingness, beliefs, etc in one's life. The writing style of the author is nice. The title of the book is suitable. It is an uplifting story. I had a great time reading this book. I strongly recommend this book to my fellow readers.
April 8, 2024
Regular Guy & Extraordinary Person
Is it possible for someone to be a regular guy while also being an extraordinary person?
If you don't already know the answer to this question, this book will certainly help!
While parts of Dittmer's early life story are filled with jaw-dropping self-destructiveness and told with exceptional authenticity, you can't help but feel like he is actually a very "regular guy." This relatability is facilitated not only by the crisp, straightforward storytelling, but also the added effect of Dittmer's own convincing narration.
So, what transforms a regular guy into also being an extraordinary person?
-If you think it is fame, wealth, or accolades, this might not be the book for you.
-If you think it is a simple, easily accomplished formula, look elsewhere.
However, if you want to understand how honesty, hard work and personal reflection can:
-transform personal short-comings into positive behavioral habits
-be used to develop personal values that can be practically applied
-lead to a fulfilling life of significance that also strengthens others
THEN THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU!
Is it possible for someone to be a regular guy while also being an extraordinary person?
If you don't already know the answer to this question, this book will certainly help!
While parts of Dittmer's early life story are filled with jaw-dropping self-destructiveness and told with exceptional authenticity, you can't help but feel like he is actually a very "regular guy." This relatability is facilitated not only by the crisp, straightforward storytelling, but also the added effect of Dittmer's own convincing narration.
So, what transforms a regular guy into also being an extraordinary person?
-If you think it is fame, wealth, or accolades, this might not be the book for you.
-If you think it is a simple, easily accomplished formula, look elsewhere.
However, if you want to understand how honesty, hard work and personal reflection can:
-transform personal short-comings into positive behavioral habits
-be used to develop personal values that can be practically applied
-lead to a fulfilling life of significance that also strengthens others
THEN THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU!
June 15, 2025
When I Stop Fighting by Daryl Dittmer is a brutally honest and inspiring memoir about turning your life around. Dittmer shares his journey from addiction, fear, and self-deception to a life of clarity, purpose, and peace. He writes as a regular guy with real struggles, making his story relatable and powerful.
The strength of the book lies in its authenticity. Dittmer doesn’t try to impress—he simply tells the truth. His reflections are filled with humor, humility, and raw emotion. He shows how a single moment of honesty can spark major change, even when you feel completely lost.
Instead of promising quick solutions, he talks about hard work, daily effort, and learning from failure. His message is clear: real change starts with being honest with yourself and doing the work to become better. It's a refreshing take on personal growth.
This book is a heartfelt reminder that it’s never too late to change. Whether you're struggling or simply searching for direction, this book offers hope, perspective, and a push in the right direction.
The strength of the book lies in its authenticity. Dittmer doesn’t try to impress—he simply tells the truth. His reflections are filled with humor, humility, and raw emotion. He shows how a single moment of honesty can spark major change, even when you feel completely lost.
Instead of promising quick solutions, he talks about hard work, daily effort, and learning from failure. His message is clear: real change starts with being honest with yourself and doing the work to become better. It's a refreshing take on personal growth.
This book is a heartfelt reminder that it’s never too late to change. Whether you're struggling or simply searching for direction, this book offers hope, perspective, and a push in the right direction.
January 1, 2025
Rounding up. I've been debating for 4-5 months between 4 stars and 5.
Kudos for telling your story and a great job narrating.
Several times there is the phrase "humble beginnings"; if you are selling drugs, is that humble? That word humble, I really just didn't pick up on humble in this book.
And I also thought that the author might have included the 12 step recovery process in When I Stop Fighting, especially since he referenced it often.
Besides that, an enjoyable memoir ... that I'm glad I read.
Daryl - kudos for kicking drugs and addiction. I'm glad that life is going well for you. All the best.
Many thanks to my local library and the Hoopla app that provides access to the audio of When I Stop Fighting without obligation of an honest review.
I'm glad that I dragged my feet in providing this review, as I see that there is a book Daryl Dittmer published in Sept 2024 that is now available (also on Hoopla). Just downloaded it.
Kudos for telling your story and a great job narrating.
Several times there is the phrase "humble beginnings"; if you are selling drugs, is that humble? That word humble, I really just didn't pick up on humble in this book.
And I also thought that the author might have included the 12 step recovery process in When I Stop Fighting, especially since he referenced it often.
Besides that, an enjoyable memoir ... that I'm glad I read.
Daryl - kudos for kicking drugs and addiction. I'm glad that life is going well for you. All the best.
Many thanks to my local library and the Hoopla app that provides access to the audio of When I Stop Fighting without obligation of an honest review.
I'm glad that I dragged my feet in providing this review, as I see that there is a book Daryl Dittmer published in Sept 2024 that is now available (also on Hoopla). Just downloaded it.
May 21, 2025
Daryl Dittmer’s When I Stop Fighting is a raw, honest, and deeply human memoir of transformation. With humour, humility, and unflinching candour, Dittmer walks us through his descent into addiction and dysfunction—and his long road back to clarity, sobriety, and peace. This isn’t a preachy self-help book; it’s a personal testimony grounded in real struggle and hard-won wisdom. Dittmer’s reflections on fear, denial, and personal growth will resonate with anyone who has ever felt stuck or lost. His journey from self-deception to self-awareness is inspiring and refreshingly relatable. This book is a reminder that change is possible, even from the darkest of places. For those seeking honesty, hope, and a bit of humour—this one’s a standout.
March 23, 2025
A raw, honest, and humorous memoir by Daryl Dittmer about overcoming addiction, fear, and self-doubt. Dittmer, a regular guy who hit rock bottom, shares his transformative journey from dysfunction to sobriety, showing that change is possible for anyone, no matter where they start. Through his story, he emphasizes the importance of self-honesty, perseverance, and humility in creating a more meaningful life. This book is a powerful reminder that it’s never too late to stop fighting, embrace change, and live a life filled with purpose and fulfillment. Highly recommended for anyone feeling stuck or seeking inspiration.
December 31, 2024
This book is about learning life lessons by falling down, learning from it and getting back up. The author tells us about his life experiences and how they not only affected him but the people around him. It was open and honest and helpful to see that we all make mistakes but we can triumph over them. I really appreciated the way he didn’t hold back and spoke from his perspective and what helped him succeed. I enjoyed this book and learned a lot and highly recommend reading it.
October 4, 2024
In his book "When I Stop Fighting," Daryl shares his real-life experiences to empower readers to transform their own lives. He encourages readers to recognize their potential for a fulfilling existence by embracing challenges, seeking answers, and taking action. This book is essential for individuals seeking to elevate their lives and discover their true passion and purpose.
January 1, 2024
I really enjoyed this book. A lot of great stories with solid "life lessons". I'm really looking forward to book #2!!
June 11, 2025
Great job👍 I love it
October 31, 2023
This is a Great read for those seeking a positive direction in life. No matter what your circumstances are, this real life story of struggles to triumph, can give you the motivation, desire, and the fortitude to help you lift your way up to much more meaningful and fulfilling ways of life.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews