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Silenced in the name of God
In my childhood home, obedience was mandatory and questioning authority was a sin.
We were a traditional Mormon family who had devoted our lives to the church. We attended all the activities, read our scriptures, and said our prayers daily. My parents homeschooled us and we owned a successful family business. We were happy and welcoming to those in our community. At least, while people were looking.
My father is brilliant, patient, and strategic. He used our beliefs, culture, and his unquestionable priesthood authority to cover up the mental and sexual abuse that was rampant behind closed doors. He filled our home with fear, panic, control, and manipulation. If I told anyone about the abuse, then our family would be destroyed, and it would be my fault. A heavy burden for a seven-year-old.
The church taught that if I could be worthy, then God would make my family whole. He had the power to help my father become a good man so that we could all live in heaven for eternity. I followed the rules, paid my dues, and devoted my life to God as I desperately held onto this belief into adulthood.
I didn’t understand that I could never be worthy enough for their God.
We were a traditional Mormon family who had devoted our lives to the church. We attended all the activities, read our scriptures, and said our prayers daily. My parents homeschooled us and we owned a successful family business. We were happy and welcoming to those in our community. At least, while people were looking.
My father is brilliant, patient, and strategic. He used our beliefs, culture, and his unquestionable priesthood authority to cover up the mental and sexual abuse that was rampant behind closed doors. He filled our home with fear, panic, control, and manipulation. If I told anyone about the abuse, then our family would be destroyed, and it would be my fault. A heavy burden for a seven-year-old.
The church taught that if I could be worthy, then God would make my family whole. He had the power to help my father become a good man so that we could all live in heaven for eternity. I followed the rules, paid my dues, and devoted my life to God as I desperately held onto this belief into adulthood.
I didn’t understand that I could never be worthy enough for their God.
311 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 1, 2023
12 people are currently reading
36 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
November 11, 2023
I'm not sure how to assign stars to this book because it feels like rating someone's life. The author is very raw and vulnerable. She draws attention to important power dynamics and patterns of protecting perpetrators over victims. However, there are several typos and sometimes the story details don't contribute to a broader meaning.
Overall, this was an interesting read I would recommend to a specific audience. Those who have experienced narcissistic, religious, or other types of abuse may find comfort in her words, knowing they are not alone.
Overall, this was an interesting read I would recommend to a specific audience. Those who have experienced narcissistic, religious, or other types of abuse may find comfort in her words, knowing they are not alone.
December 5, 2023
WOW what a difficult topic to read!! Thank you for letting us into your world Stephanie. I'm sorry you had to go through such horrible stuff.
December 17, 2023
Heartbreakingly Raw. I appreciate how she illustrated the connection between organized religion and abuse.
May 13, 2024
Amazing! Very brave author.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews