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Human Resources: A Corporate Nightmare
Management is the use of humans as resources; so is vampirism. When a vampire is called in to turn a sick biotech company around, reorganization takes on a much paler cast. Alternate chapters show the vampire's business education during the Industrial Revolution.
224 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1995
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
September 5, 2021
On paper this book is a wonderful idea - a biotech company needs to have a restructure to become more efficient (= more profitable), but after a graphic suicide is committed by one of the first people laid off, the restructure is handed over to Pierce, a pragmatic no-nonsense consultant who has no tie to the company at all, so is more than happy to wield the axe when needed. He is also a vampire!
As a critique on the modern workplace juxta positioning the ghoulish role of business restructure with an actual vampire this book kicks ass, and straight-face lampoons the modern corporate environment; however the main protagonist through whom a lot of the story his told just doesn't work for me, as he comes across too strongly as a tool to tell the story, and thus doesn't feel as well thought out as the rest of the book, and the vampire himself. 5 out of 12.
As a critique on the modern workplace juxta positioning the ghoulish role of business restructure with an actual vampire this book kicks ass, and straight-face lampoons the modern corporate environment; however the main protagonist through whom a lot of the story his told just doesn't work for me, as he comes across too strongly as a tool to tell the story, and thus doesn't feel as well thought out as the rest of the book, and the vampire himself. 5 out of 12.
July 8, 2017
The story is this -HR manager is the last person in the company to realise that the new CEO is a vampire who has been munching on the staff.
I work in Human Resources and I found this book hilarious. The author has clearly had someone who works in the field to review the book. My favourite line in the book was the vampire's excuse for firing a manager:
"You’re not what I would call one of those sensitive managers, you know. One would hope that most supervisors would take some notice of problems troubling their subordinates. But your principal subordinate has been dead for a week, and you haven’t even tried to get her into the Employee Assistance Program.”
If you work in HR and would like a funny take on your profession, this is a good read.
I work in Human Resources and I found this book hilarious. The author has clearly had someone who works in the field to review the book. My favourite line in the book was the vampire's excuse for firing a manager:
"You’re not what I would call one of those sensitive managers, you know. One would hope that most supervisors would take some notice of problems troubling their subordinates. But your principal subordinate has been dead for a week, and you haven’t even tried to get her into the Employee Assistance Program.”
If you work in HR and would like a funny take on your profession, this is a good read.
July 22, 2016
I discovered Floyd Kemske back in the early nineties by way of David Warsh, the former Boston Globe business columnist, who championed Kemske's work every chance he got. His latest at the time, Human Resources was the first Kemske I read, and I quickly moved on to all his other works.
Kemske is unique in another way, in that he can lay claim to something few authors can, that he invented a whole new genre of fiction, one that came to be known as "the corporate nightmare," in which employees find themselves in bizarre (and often too real for comfort) situations in the corporate environment. Consider this blurb for Human Resources:
"Corporate management is the use of humans as resources. So is vampirism. What would happen if a vampire were to take over a company and reorganize it? And if that vampire were to feed not only on fresh blood, but also on fresh ideas?"
I learned only later that Human Resources is further distinguished by the fact that much of it was written and edited in the early days of the Internet via crowdsourcing (before there even was such a word) on Usenet. I'll bet if you look really hard, you can still find the archive.
At any rate, Kemske wrote five or six of these corporate nightmares, the last of which was titled Labor Day, in which the white collar workers at the corporate offices of a labor union move to unionize, and union management is forced to call in a famous union buster to ensure that doesn't happen.
The last Kemske I read was a departure for him, a fictional account of Talleyrand, the French revolutionary and survivor. After that, Kemske appears to have ridden off into the sunset. But don't worry about him. For in addition to brilliant fiction and creating a whole new genre, Kemske appears to be one of the most in-demand marketers in existence, one who literally wrote the book that is even today considered the marketing bible.
So, wherever you are, Mr. Kemske, I hope all is well, and thanks for all the laughs.
Kemske is unique in another way, in that he can lay claim to something few authors can, that he invented a whole new genre of fiction, one that came to be known as "the corporate nightmare," in which employees find themselves in bizarre (and often too real for comfort) situations in the corporate environment. Consider this blurb for Human Resources:
"Corporate management is the use of humans as resources. So is vampirism. What would happen if a vampire were to take over a company and reorganize it? And if that vampire were to feed not only on fresh blood, but also on fresh ideas?"
I learned only later that Human Resources is further distinguished by the fact that much of it was written and edited in the early days of the Internet via crowdsourcing (before there even was such a word) on Usenet. I'll bet if you look really hard, you can still find the archive.
At any rate, Kemske wrote five or six of these corporate nightmares, the last of which was titled Labor Day, in which the white collar workers at the corporate offices of a labor union move to unionize, and union management is forced to call in a famous union buster to ensure that doesn't happen.
The last Kemske I read was a departure for him, a fictional account of Talleyrand, the French revolutionary and survivor. After that, Kemske appears to have ridden off into the sunset. But don't worry about him. For in addition to brilliant fiction and creating a whole new genre, Kemske appears to be one of the most in-demand marketers in existence, one who literally wrote the book that is even today considered the marketing bible.
So, wherever you are, Mr. Kemske, I hope all is well, and thanks for all the laughs.
May 8, 2010
This book was one of my all time favorites!! I am currently hunting down the other installments of Mr. Kemske's "Corporate Nightmares": Virtual Boss & Lifetime Employment.
February 19, 2009
Dieses Buch ist fuer Vampirfans ein echter Flop. Anscheinend hat der Autor den Vampir nur vorgeschoben, um die vielen Zeitspruenge zu rechtfertigen. So kann man die unterschiedlichen Firmenstrukturen mitverfolgen, welche der Vampir durch die Epochen hindurch erlebt hat.
In der Biotechnologie-Firma, in der der biedere Norman als Abteilungsleiter arbeitet, ist ein neuer Vorgesetzter eingesetzt worden, der die Firmenstruktur rationalisiern soll. Dass dieser neue Boss offensichtlich ein Vampir ist, merkt Norman erst viel zu spaet.
Das Buch hat durchaus seine witzigen Momente, vor allem wenn die beiden Sekretaerinnen sich ueber Vampirromane unterhalten. Ansonsten bietet die Bilanz der Vampire wohl eher seichtes Lesevergnuegen fuer Wirtschaftsmenschen als fuer Vampirfans.
In der Biotechnologie-Firma, in der der biedere Norman als Abteilungsleiter arbeitet, ist ein neuer Vorgesetzter eingesetzt worden, der die Firmenstruktur rationalisiern soll. Dass dieser neue Boss offensichtlich ein Vampir ist, merkt Norman erst viel zu spaet.
Das Buch hat durchaus seine witzigen Momente, vor allem wenn die beiden Sekretaerinnen sich ueber Vampirromane unterhalten. Ansonsten bietet die Bilanz der Vampire wohl eher seichtes Lesevergnuegen fuer Wirtschaftsmenschen als fuer Vampirfans.
October 9, 2013
A cute and quick read. Human Resources pokes fun at the vampire mythos which it is a reluctant part of.
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November 2, 2016I really struggled with this book. There were some good historical references, but otherwise, I found the story pretty boring. I could not in good conscious recommend this book to anyone.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews