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High Steaks
There’s a situation at Willington Farm.
When one of their prized dairy cows turns up diseased and homicidal, ageing farmers Linda and Wilf don’t have to look far to place the blame. Sinister research facility Genetix occupies the opposite plot of land, under the watchful eye of notorious scientist Declan Perkins.
But with secrets of their own and a ticking clock - not to mention a rapidly increasing body count - the two senior citizens must hatch a plan to take down the lab and put a stop to Declan’s experimentation… and avoid getting mauled by the mutant animal stalking the halls of the clandestine facility.
An action-packed horror novel with plenty of thrilling set pieces, High Steaks is a perfect read for fans of creature features and 80’s pulp horror.
When one of their prized dairy cows turns up diseased and homicidal, ageing farmers Linda and Wilf don’t have to look far to place the blame. Sinister research facility Genetix occupies the opposite plot of land, under the watchful eye of notorious scientist Declan Perkins.
But with secrets of their own and a ticking clock - not to mention a rapidly increasing body count - the two senior citizens must hatch a plan to take down the lab and put a stop to Declan’s experimentation… and avoid getting mauled by the mutant animal stalking the halls of the clandestine facility.
An action-packed horror novel with plenty of thrilling set pieces, High Steaks is a perfect read for fans of creature features and 80’s pulp horror.
242 pages, Mass Market Paperback
Published November 6, 2023
3 people are currently reading
35 people want to read
About the author
Rob Ulitski
20 books55 followersRob writes visceral, concept-driven horror stories, anchored by complex characters and offbeat narratives.
Born in Portsmouth, UK, Rob received his bachelor of arts in Film Production from the University for the Creative Arts in Farnham. Having trained in filmmaking, and working as a director and producer on everything from music videos to shorts to feature-length anthology films, Rob’s official writing journey started in 2020.
When not writing, he can be found watching cheesy 90s films, baking cakes and haunting local bookstores.
Born in Portsmouth, UK, Rob received his bachelor of arts in Film Production from the University for the Creative Arts in Farnham. Having trained in filmmaking, and working as a director and producer on everything from music videos to shorts to feature-length anthology films, Rob’s official writing journey started in 2020.
When not writing, he can be found watching cheesy 90s films, baking cakes and haunting local bookstores.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
January 12, 2024
My main problem with this book is that the character named Declan didn't get decked nearly enough, you can't have a character named Declan and make him so eminently deckable and not even make jokes about it every 3 lines.
Now that that's out of the way, it was highly entertaining but also sort of cute and cackle inducing.
Long story short, it's no secret that I'm fan of Ulitski's short form work and I'm pleased to report that his longer form work still has the same charm for me!
Now that that's out of the way, it was highly entertaining but also sort of cute and cackle inducing.
Long story short, it's no secret that I'm fan of Ulitski's short form work and I'm pleased to report that his longer form work still has the same charm for me!
February 24, 2024
A genetics lab is up to no good when it decides to start experimenting on the local dairy cows. The end results are bloody and chaotic!
I really enjoyed this story, but felt terrible for the poor cows. They were described so lovingly, but were really the main victims in my opinion. Their suffering was hard to read, but I was rooting for Wild & Linda to get back at Genetix.
Theres also a bit of humour sprinkled into this horrific tale to lighten the mental load thankfully. A few times I had to chuckle out loud at the actions and dialogue.
This was a surprise hit of a read for me, as I wasn’t sure what I was getting into with Ulitski’s tale of livestock madness. A very unique plot for sure.
I really enjoyed this story, but felt terrible for the poor cows. They were described so lovingly, but were really the main victims in my opinion. Their suffering was hard to read, but I was rooting for Wild & Linda to get back at Genetix.
Theres also a bit of humour sprinkled into this horrific tale to lighten the mental load thankfully. A few times I had to chuckle out loud at the actions and dialogue.
This was a surprise hit of a read for me, as I wasn’t sure what I was getting into with Ulitski’s tale of livestock madness. A very unique plot for sure.
November 21, 2023
I’ve read a lot of self-published books recently and it’s fair to say that, never mind the quality or otherwise of the writing and plotting, most of them could do with a final edit (at least), some further proofreading and help with the design and formatting. None of these apply to Rob Ulitski’s well-written and immaculately designed book. So, one thing that isn’t horrific about it is the care taken in its production.
I don’t normally read (or watch) much horror but I’m glad I tried this. Despite the gore, I galloped through it (with the lights on, doors locked and 999 on speed dial). Yes, it’s a horror story – don’t be fooled by the cover picture – and not for the faint-hearted. But there’s humour too and it’s cleverly plotted, beautifully written and full of well-constructed, nicely drawn characters and a villainous company that you just know is only a couple of percentage points away from some real-life big pharma organisations. That is a creepier thought than the actual story here.
If you’re not (too) squeamish, you should read High Steaks (great title, by the way). But you’ll never want to walk through a field of cows again.
I don’t normally read (or watch) much horror but I’m glad I tried this. Despite the gore, I galloped through it (with the lights on, doors locked and 999 on speed dial). Yes, it’s a horror story – don’t be fooled by the cover picture – and not for the faint-hearted. But there’s humour too and it’s cleverly plotted, beautifully written and full of well-constructed, nicely drawn characters and a villainous company that you just know is only a couple of percentage points away from some real-life big pharma organisations. That is a creepier thought than the actual story here.
If you’re not (too) squeamish, you should read High Steaks (great title, by the way). But you’ll never want to walk through a field of cows again.
January 13, 2024
Fantastically unique tale of revenge, of horror and megalomania!
With their farm on its knees, Wilf and Linda need to make some choices, and protect each other from their secrets. But when the horror of their acquiescence with big pharma is realised, these feisty pensioners fight back. And so does Molly, the pride of their herd…and boy, is she pissed!
This is a fabulous combination of horror, humour and megalomania. While the omniscient narrator felt a bit disjointed at the start, this quickly resolves itself and proves a necessary device to bring a fun and fantastically gory story, with solid likeable characters to bear.
This is such a unique story, so very well drawn, and with some great humour interspersed with vivid gore.
Full disclaimer - I was already scared of cows. Now I am even more determined to remain in the city at all times!
This is a great read. It’s ‘udderly’ fantastic (sorry - couldn’t resist!)
With their farm on its knees, Wilf and Linda need to make some choices, and protect each other from their secrets. But when the horror of their acquiescence with big pharma is realised, these feisty pensioners fight back. And so does Molly, the pride of their herd…and boy, is she pissed!
This is a fabulous combination of horror, humour and megalomania. While the omniscient narrator felt a bit disjointed at the start, this quickly resolves itself and proves a necessary device to bring a fun and fantastically gory story, with solid likeable characters to bear.
This is such a unique story, so very well drawn, and with some great humour interspersed with vivid gore.
Full disclaimer - I was already scared of cows. Now I am even more determined to remain in the city at all times!
This is a great read. It’s ‘udderly’ fantastic (sorry - couldn’t resist!)
November 13, 2023
A mooving tale of love, perseverance and a demented mutated killer cow.
The story primarily follows elderly farmers Wilf and Linda, the latter now having given up the day-to-day on the farm to become a cleaner at a recently opened genetics laboratory nearby.
In financial dire straits, Wilf agreed to allow the lead scientist Declan Perkins to run an experiment on his cows but things don't go to plan and soon it's not just the farm on the line but the lives of many innocent (and not so innocent) people.
Featuring unique protagonists, brilliant use of multiple POV and an expertly crafted blend of creature feature and resident evil style experimentation, 'High steaks' by Rob Ulitski is udderlybrilliant. A fun, quick to get through read and mandatory for all creature feature/mad science horror fans.
Look out for a few sneaky Easter egg type lines as well.
The story primarily follows elderly farmers Wilf and Linda, the latter now having given up the day-to-day on the farm to become a cleaner at a recently opened genetics laboratory nearby.
In financial dire straits, Wilf agreed to allow the lead scientist Declan Perkins to run an experiment on his cows but things don't go to plan and soon it's not just the farm on the line but the lives of many innocent (and not so innocent) people.
Featuring unique protagonists, brilliant use of multiple POV and an expertly crafted blend of creature feature and resident evil style experimentation, 'High steaks' by Rob Ulitski is udderlybrilliant. A fun, quick to get through read and mandatory for all creature feature/mad science horror fans.
Look out for a few sneaky Easter egg type lines as well.
July 15, 2024
Linda and Wilf are dairy farmers and something is wrong with their favourite cow, Molly. Wilf knows it’s all down to the monstrosity that is Genetix whose hightech building overlooks their farm. As the carnage kicks off can they expose the frightening experiments within Genetix.
Corrupt conglomerates, horrifying experiments, cow carnage what more do you need! This is a riot! Hardworking country folk against immoral business, the most gruesome body horror all laced with crisp witty dialogue and the deepest vein of dark humour. A brilliant bloodthirsty way to send an afternoon, you will not put this down! Justice for Molly 🐮
Corrupt conglomerates, horrifying experiments, cow carnage what more do you need! This is a riot! Hardworking country folk against immoral business, the most gruesome body horror all laced with crisp witty dialogue and the deepest vein of dark humour. A brilliant bloodthirsty way to send an afternoon, you will not put this down! Justice for Molly 🐮
December 29, 2023
A truly fresh take on the horror genre with memorable characters and a great plot.
Where this book really shines is it’s gruesome descriptions of blood and gore. Rob’s language really paints a vivid image of what’s happening as characters are brutally torn apart by Molly the deranged cow and it’s hard to get those images out of your head once you’ve read them.
Aside from that the villain is another stand out, Declan is well written and perfectly hate-able but you can’t help but find him interesting.
Where this book really shines is it’s gruesome descriptions of blood and gore. Rob’s language really paints a vivid image of what’s happening as characters are brutally torn apart by Molly the deranged cow and it’s hard to get those images out of your head once you’ve read them.
Aside from that the villain is another stand out, Declan is well written and perfectly hate-able but you can’t help but find him interesting.
February 20, 2024
I do like strong female characters in my horror books. High Steaks by Rob Ulitsk seems to have squeezed in two, and one of them is a woman.
This is Day of the Triffids meets Pet Cemetery. Scary, very funny, and the drugs industry conspiracy is, sadly in my experience, more than believable.
Easy to read (horror isn’t normally my thing) and lots of fun. Recommend!
This is Day of the Triffids meets Pet Cemetery. Scary, very funny, and the drugs industry conspiracy is, sadly in my experience, more than believable.
Easy to read (horror isn’t normally my thing) and lots of fun. Recommend!
April 1, 2024
Gory bloody chaotic funny romp. A evil laboratory what kinds of farmer? Who is down on his luck and desperately needing an injection of cash to save his failing fine and so he offers up his dairy cows. What happens after you could only imagine. There are lots of deaths in this, but the real victims are the cows who trusted Wilf
August 9, 2024
A lab experiments on a nearby farmers cows. Molly the cow is now on the loose and is out for blood. I like how each chapter is by someone's perspective. You'll get a bunch of characters point of view, the good, the bad and the unfortunate. There is a lot of blood and guts in this book and was a quick read.
December 31, 2024
Great book. Read it earlier this year in one sitting. Nice to have an old couple as the leads too. Would love to see as a film.
February 8, 2025
i loved this so much. it was so fun and full of gore, absolutely perfect, no notes!
December 17, 2024
We all know it starts: a bucolic village in the English countryside, strange sightings of a foreboding creature in the dark fields, an incompetent handyman murdered in an astonishingly unlikely way…
Does the new high-security biological lab at the top of the hill have anything to do with it?
This a crazy romp through a classic animal mayhem plot. I never knew how many ways a cow could creatively kill someone. And if you think about it, as herbivores with cheeks and molars instead of wide jaws and canines, they do have to be creative.
The book is well paced and the writing is witty. Ulitski’s book will especially appeal to those who thought Cocaine Bear was a cinematic masterpiece (you know who you are).
Does the new high-security biological lab at the top of the hill have anything to do with it?
This a crazy romp through a classic animal mayhem plot. I never knew how many ways a cow could creatively kill someone. And if you think about it, as herbivores with cheeks and molars instead of wide jaws and canines, they do have to be creative.
The book is well paced and the writing is witty. Ulitski’s book will especially appeal to those who thought Cocaine Bear was a cinematic masterpiece (you know who you are).
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews