Say Good: Speaking across Hot Topics, Complex Relationships, and Tense Situations

by Ashlee Eiland

Find your passion. Know your voice. Speak for good.

We know what it means to do good. But in today’s tense and complex world, when topics like political issues, theology, and current events so often divide us, how do we say good? God calls us to speak truth into our communities and relationships, but we all struggle to know when to speak up. We feel intimidated even as we long to engage controversy and division with ease and conviction. How can we know what to say―and when?

In Say Good , Ashlee Eiland helps you discover the power of stewarding your unique voice. You’ll walk into a four-part discernment process―through passion, accountability, influence, and relationship―to understand the spaces, ways, and times where your words are needed. As you do, you’ll find the conviction and confidence to speak up in even the most flammable challenges. This book equips you Say Good is a timely, thought-provoking book that contains practical insights, empowering action steps, and a solid framework for using your voice with purpose and impact. Embark on a transformative journey of honing both your words and your heart―for good.

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Faith

224 pages, Paperback

Published May 7, 2024

Reviews

[Marty Solomon · Rating 4 out of 5]

A lot of us have become particularly aware of our need to pursue learning in different areas of social awareness. A great example of this would be the racial experiences of minorities. There are great resources that have been written, even in the last five years, on topics such as these. However, it’s one thing to learn about these things. It is another to actually open our mouths and say something.

How do I say the right thing? What if I fail with the best of intentions? Should I ALWAYS say something? Eiland’s book speaks to these very practical and great questions. While she does speak often from her experience as a black woman, the wisdom she shares goes far beyond that single topic and into many others.

Ashlee proposes four pillars for “good” conversation. She acknowledges the tensions that exist and avoids non-helpful extremes. She points out the tools we can utilize to make sure the words we use (and when we use them) are truly good.

One of my favorite parts of this book is when Ashlee speaks specifically to the issues of our digital age and using our voice in social media. These spaces carry unique challenges and I rarely hear them addressed with substance. Eiland has done that.

If you’re looking for a practical resource that can help you learn how to engage in good dialogue, healing dialogue — even as you grow and learn — this is a wonderful place to start.

[Tracey Neumarke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ashlee is both a thoughtful and compelling writer. When you read Say Good, you will find yourself asking questions and reflecting in ways that make you feel like you not only want to be a better person but you surely can. Her words are powerful yet so easy to relate to. In reading this book along with a small group of others, I find myself thinking how it would be great if every book club would add this book to their must read list. You would find your group having lively and interesting discussions that could lead to everyone finding a strength you didn’t realize you had along with a feeling that you can make a difference.

Thank you Tyndale House Publishers for the advance complimentary copy.

[Kylea Moore · Rating 5 out of 5]

So much to glean from this book! I’ll absolutely be reading it again.

[Jill Wenzel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ashley authentically opens up and shares her heart on what it really truly means to “Say Good”. By using our own unique voice, we can begin to be good stewards. When all we hear and see on the news is darkness, Ashley brings light to the words “Say Good”. That through fine-tuning we can learn to speak and begin to know the value of our words. We all have ability to bring change to this world but are we willing to take bold steps. When reading through this book I found myself highlighting so much truth and reflecting what it truly means to use my voice for good. If you want to become a part of a positive change in this world than this book is for you. You’re going to want to not only get a copy for yourself but for your friends, family and even your enemies.

Thank you, Tyndale House Publisher, for the advance complimentary copy.

[gregory w hirsch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ashley has a gift to take challenging topics and wrap it in her own voice to make it relatable and thought provoking. Her voice in this book has helped me learn how to better use my voice when confronting and conversing in the topics that I feel strongly about when it may be difficult to do so. I hear her voice, experience and wisdom already in my interactions and how I can use my relationships to effectively step into speaking up.

Thank you Tyndale House Publishers for the advance complimentary copy.

[Scott McKellin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is life-changing. It hits so many important subjects, such as how to use your voice, when to use your voice (and when not to), and how to discern what your passion is vs just a calling. Ashlee speaks good into so many different aspects of using our voices to Say Good into our world, and our world would be better off if more people took this book to heart. Cannot recommend enough!!!

**Disclaimer: I have been provided a complimentary advanced reader copy by Tyndale House Publishers

[Carol D · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who has had the privilege of knowing Ashlee Eiland personally and benefiting from her wisdom and guidance as my former pastor, I can confidently say that her book "Say Good" is a true reflection of her heart and character.

Reading "Say Good" feels like having a heartfelt conversation with a close friend. Ashlee’s voice is warm, genuine, and filled with a deep empathy that comes through in every chapter. She shares her life’s journey with such honesty and openness, making the book both relatable and inspiring.

Ashlee’s unique ability to find goodness in every situation is both uplifting and motivating. Her stories are not just tales of personal experiences but are lessons in kindness, resilience, and the importance of human connection. She has a gift for seeing the best in people and situations, and she imparts this perspective to her readers in a way that is both encouraging and actionable.

What stands out most in "Say Good" is Ashlee's unwavering faith and her commitment to living out the principles she writes about. Her reflections on love, faith, and community are deeply rooted in her own spiritual journey, and they offer profound insights for anyone looking to lead a more compassionate and purposeful life.

I was particularly moved by how Ashlee addresses difficult topics with such grace and sensitivity. She tackles issues of race, identity, and faith head-on, but always with a spirit of reconciliation and hope. Her ability to foster meaningful conversations around these subjects is a testament to her wisdom and her deep understanding of human nature.

"Say Good" is more than just a book; it’s a guide to living a life marked by generosity and empathy. Ashlee provides practical advice on how to integrate these values into our daily lives, making it not only an inspiring read but also a practical one. Her exercises and tips are simple yet profound, offering concrete ways to make a positive impact in our own communities.

Knowing Ashlee personally, I can attest to the authenticity of her message. She truly lives out the principles she writes about, and her life is a testament to the power of goodness and kindness. "Say Good" is a reflection of who she is—a person of deep faith, unwavering kindness, and genuine love for others.

If you’re looking for a book that will inspire you, challenge you, and equip you to bring more good into the world, "Say Good" is the perfect choice. Ashlee Eiland’s words will touch your heart and inspire you to see the world through a lens of compassion and hope.

[Ve · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ashlee Eiland has a way with words and storytelling in "Say Good" that compels me to dig deeper and to be better... for myself and for others. I am enthusiastically and thoughtfully reading this book and being deeply impacted by it as a gift of empowerment to me for such a time as this. It is a gem that is helping me (and can help others) better steward our voices, as it also transforms our hearts. It would be great for a book club or group discussion.

Thank you, Tyndale Publishers, for the complimentary ARC of this book.

[Bob · Rating 4 out of 5]

Summary: Offers a four-part process for finding one’s voice to navigate the tightrope of challenging public discussions, using one’s voice to “say good.”

Engaging in public discussions, online or in-person, often feels like walking a tightrope. Ashlee Eiland says it begins with balance, finding one’s center in Christ. In walking a tight rope, it means fine-tuning that starts low and short and goes slow. Don’t try to walk over Niagara Falls without a lot of training. Likewise, with public engagement.

Eiland outlines a four part, four pillar process of finding one’s voice, using the acronym PAIR:

Passion
It begins with discerning our passion. It is figuring out what we love enough to suffer for it. What is something you are willing to devote enough time to gain the experience you need to accomplish your goal? Our passion is that for which we’ve wept at its absence. Are we willing to identify with the Savior who wept?

Accountability
Accountability is the discipline of consistently showing up with others. It means character and integrity, boundaries we will not cross, having others to hold us to our commitments. It means learning to take initiative, with all its risks–and discerning when not to take initiative. Facing hard truth is another aspect of accountability. Who will we trust to tell us the truth? Will we take the posture of a learner and listener? Eilund recounts the parting advice of dean in graduate school.

Influence
We all have influence. the question is, how will we leverage it? But we can’t influence everything. We need to know our place and space and stay in it. It is learning to use our voice with authenticity, I liked this description of authenticity:

“Authenticity is about discerning the intersection of what’s real and true, both in what we are speaking into and in what we’re speaking out of, for the health and wholeness of the entire body”

You can’t talk about influence without talking about power. She talks about sources of power, power dynamics, and how we use power well. Eilund describes how Steve, a white, dynamic leader, empowered her, a Black woman, in public speaking.

Relationship.
Relationship reminds us that we use our voice with people. Confession is an important part of the use of our voice, sharing with trusted others who we truly are. The author describes confessing to her friends her deep struggle, as a pastor, with depression. Eilund challenges us to know people by name–the pharmacist, the clerk, the wait staff–and not just close acquaintances, or the ‘important.” It’s all about affording dignity to every person. In turn, she asks us to reflect on what we would hope they would say of us in our eulogy. By asking this, she invites us to consider who will see our work and how we will steward our voice to “say good” in light of that. And how we use our voice with people will determine whether we leave chasms or build bridges.

Many people use their voices in ways that widen the chasms that separate us. Sometimes this is intentional. But for others, the question is learning to use one’s voice for good. It means discerning what we truly care about. It means being accountable rather than a loose cannon. We need to learn how to use influence well. And all of this occurs in the context of relationships. Ashlee Eilund charts a clear path toward the better use of our voice. By using her voice and her journey, she shows us how her four pillars integrate into a life of “saying good.”

____________________

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher for review.

[Molly Reis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found Say Good to be a vulnerable, authentic account of the author’s journey in learning how to speak her truth with both passion and grace. Eiland combines storytelling and research to create a solid framework for communication and navigating conflict and for discerning when and HOW to speak up, to say good. Speaking up is noble, important work but will fall on deaf (or angry) ears if those words are wielded without any sort of accountability. Eiland shows her readers how to achieve that through modeling her own efforts and sharing small, but just as (or perhaps more) important, examples of how to implement saying good at home and the larger (or more public) practices online or at work. Say Good walks the reader through identifying their voice and discerning where they can be both passionate AND consistent - “by stewarding our voices and having the confidence to walk into tension and discomfort, we can navigate the chaos by refusing to abandon it…to speak into the voids we are uniquely called to enter.”
*This early review is made possible by a complimentary ARC provided by Tyndale House Publishers.

[Barb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Say Good. In a world where it's so easy to say negative, to say critical, to say horrid, nasty, mean things with just a click of a button on our computer keyboards or phones, saying good is needed. Certainly Christians should be the first to say good, to speak truth and bring light into dark places and hard circumstances.

Ashlee Eiland shares from her own life and from current events, examples of hard circumstances and invites her readers to ask where God might use them to say good. To speak up in defense of the voiceless or weak. To break awkward silences or call out lies. To open up honest conversation or diffuse volatility.

Say Good is timely and brave. Ashlee wades into the deep water of politics and race, among other controversial topics. She challenges all of us to do the same through a discernment process that she leads the reader through. For anyone looking to build bridges, promote healing and join in God's redemption of the world, this book is a good place to start.

[Brent Billings · Rating 4 out of 5]

Narrow is the path that leads to life. Narrow is the wire that the tight-rope walker traverses. It’s an apt analogy. The discipline required. The practice necessary. It all aligns so well with the experiences of our spiritual journeys.

Ashlee Eiland challenges readers in the midst of sharing her own experiences. She speaks to all of the difficult topics you might imagine. She acknowledges good intentions and charges readers to consider how those intentions might have nevertheless caused harm. And yet she offers a way forward. A way to utilize the influence we already have. A way to lift others up and help them thrive. A way to value people through their name and with your voice.

To the one who is willing to do the work and be uncomfortable in the process, Eiland will lead you on a path to growth.

[Meghan Heritage · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the very start of this book, I felt comfort in Ashlee's words. "Both speaking and silence will find you exactly where you are meant to be". Ashlee is responding to the divisiveness in the world today with love and grace, offering a tool to navigate hard conversations to "say good". Her soft and strong voice is powerful in this book. This book is not meant to be plowed through (although I did and now am on my second read), but rather to be pondered, absorbed, and applied---practiced---and its principles brought to life. We are all on the high wire in hard conversations and I am in total agreement that we cannot work to change the hard things until we address the hard things. This is the perfect book for a book club or discussion---grab a copy and three more for your best friends:-)

[Monica · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ashlee does a beautiful job of creating a road map to difficult conversations. After reading Say Good I feel so much more prepared to speak when needed and listen when it makes sense. So challenging and yet so good! A definite must read this year.

[Gina Cummings · Rating 3 out of 5]

Maybe a little redundant in parts, but I'm disappointed this doesn't have more reviews, because it's an IMPORTANT topic! We've totally lost our way when it comes to polite discourse and disagreements!

[Tlane_22 · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Henry Collins · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent, called me out on some things and alot to think about in the future. Quick and impactful read.

[Selena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ashlee is such a beautiful writer. I specially loved the chapter about learning people’s names and what this could mean to the other person. What a beautiful book - highly recommend!

[Ahna · Rating 4 out of 5]

The calm, wise, and loving advice we need for our divided society.

[Jill White · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ashlee Eiland's writing is full of heart and rich language (lots of highlighting in this book!). She provides practical guidance by asking the right questions and telling stories from her own learning and experience. You finish each section with material to think through areas of your own life that may be asking for more (or less) of your voice. So much grace and wisdom here!

[Ashlee Eiland · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wrote this book in response to friends sharing their anxiety with me in the wake of Ahmaud Arbery's murder. I could sense their longing to speak against injustice - as well their hesitation. I hope this book serves as an emboldening companion to you as you navigate all the divisive canyons that gape between us. I hope you read it and find the strength to speak with confidence and clarity. I hope you find peace in the times when you choose to stay silent. Our world needs you and I, both, to say good.