Caring for Kids from Hard Places: How to Help Children and Teens with a Traumatic Past

by Jayne E. Schooler, David L. Schooler, Th.D.

Why doesn’t he act his age? Why does she behave so impulsively? Why does he have meltdowns so often?
There is always meaning behind behavior in all of us. It might be a behavioral reaction from something as simple as hunger or exhaustion. Or something far more serious – a triggered reaction to a traumatic, frightening experience.

Children who have experienced early childhood neglect or trauma are often greatly impacted in developmental ways. Children in foster care or who are given up for adoption often deal with these kinds of negative early experiences and it can be difficult to know how to help. People who teach–either in school or children’s ministry often see these youngsters’ behavior as confusing and don’t understand why.

In Caring for Kids from Hard Places , Jayne and David Schooler discuss the reasons behind why children and teens sometimes exhibit potentially disruptive behavior. Together, they offer practical strategies on training, equipping and resourcing staff and volunteers to provide a responsive environment for children with behavioral challenges. Caring for Kids from Hard Places Discover how to better love children from difficult backgrounds and pave their way for a better life.

Genres: Nonfiction, Adoption, Parenting

240 pages, Paperback

Published May 7, 2024

Reviews

[Bethany Stewart · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐

For anyone who interacts with kids, whether it's everyday or once a month on a Sunday morning, I would definitely recommend reading. Lots of helpful insight into how best to interact with kiddos, especially those who have hard pasts (& sometimes you don't realize how many kids around you do).

[Loraena · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so helpful. The authors collected all the important things to know on this topic (caring for kids from hard places) and organized it in an understandable, easily accessible way and helpfully filter it through a Christian lens.

It’s written for teachers or those serving in church or other non-parent roles, equipping them to be more effective as they care for kids who have suffered deeply and learn to shape their care to be more trauma informed in general. I don’t know of any other books quite like it so in that sense it fills a big gap. I already ordered several copies I plan to give away.

The final chapter covers caring for yourself and is quite good, although I have one small point of disagreement. They subscribe to the body, soul + spirit paradigm which I disagree with theologically. That perspective complicates our understanding of humanity, in my limited understanding, can’t be backed up by scripture. Scripture conceives of a simpler paradigm in which we are made up of two parts: body (material) + soul/spirit (immaterial). We are embodied souls.

BUT even though the authors spent time defining humans with 3 categories, functionally, they worked from only two, go figure. 😂

All in all, it’s a small complaint and I will definitely be recommending this book. 4.5 stars.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

[Erin Laramore · Rating 4 out of 5]

I pulled this book as a resource for my continuing education as a CASA. This book offered up some great feedback for anyone who works with children - regardless of the venue (school, church, foster care, etc.), though in some spaces felt redundant or dry. As practically every person who works with children will at some point work with a traumatized child, it's good to understand that their behavior is actually their voice and some good ways that we as the adults in their lives can help them to better process their trauma and feel safe. Using both science and scripture, and examples from their own past and from others they've counseled, Jayne and David Schooler give great insight into how trauma impacts one's brain and behavior. They give good guidelines on how to respond to trauma-induced behaviors and tools for helping others process, as well as great guidelines for setting up one's space to limit the number of behavioral issues from traumatized children. This book had lots of great ideas and options for working with children with difficult pasts. Special thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for an advance e-copy of this book. I was under no obligation to provide a review and the thoughts contained herein are my own.

[Katherinejoyhayes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this as a soon to be foster parent. I also enjoyed how it related to those in children’s ministry and also how adults have traumas that are affecting them even now. I think all people can benefit from reading this book. We are all human and have something to gain from learning about our inner child’s experiences that affect us and how to confront those

[Eden Joy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic book, I’m so glad this exists. The focus on implementation for Sunday schools is timely.

For readers who are already serving in social work or foster care, most of the content may be familiar already — but still full of valuable reminders.

[Melissa MacDonald · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical and helpful. A great place to start if desiring to become more trauma aware.

[Mariah Dawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t recommend this book enough. If you have children you’ve adopted, if you work with children, or even for the everyday parent, it’s important to know how children’s behavior has meaning (reminds me of Beyond Behavior by Mona Delahooke). I’ve known for some time that trauma in the brain looks like neurodivergence, but I was struck by all the similarities in advice and treatments to what I’m learning about parenting an autistic child. Also: how easily it is for a child to experience trauma—it can also be caused by moving, bullying, a parent coming home from work angry, or hospital stays.

In this book she covers trauma principles, connection and attachment, behavioral matching, the frustration box, the 5 C’s, and the 5 different types of rest. Sprinkled with many Karen Purvis quotes (which takes me back to foster care training), she expands on ideas to help us sit with others in their difficulties, while reminding us how having self-awareness of our own stories helps us to be better advocates.

I, in particular, liked how she talked about “soul care” as compared to “self-care” which creates a dangerous obsession with self, doesn’t touch the deepest of hurts, and ignores our souls.

I listened to this on audio, but I took so many notes I think I will hunt down a physical copy. It’s worth owning and passing around.

[Alicia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't know that the book had a religious foundation when I asked to read it via Netgalley and while it's present and the authors' experiences are based in religion, all of the sharing is grounded in information and research that many rural and urban educators and people that work with kids already know from ACES to trauma-informed care and education. It's good to have reminders, new ways to think about the same things, and refine our ability to connect and help.

It was a text that is invaluable to remind that it's both the external and the internal that we're working on when working with kids and how we can move the needle for compassion and understanding.

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book. It’s practical and accessible, but also covers neuroscience, educational psychology, and lots of context for how to teach out in helpful ways to kids whove endured trauma.
I actually thought this was more about having a traumatized child in your home, a foster or adopted child. I was wrong; it’s primarily about how to be sensitive and trauma informed in daycare, after-school and church programs. But I found it very instructive and helpful. Highly recommended if you want to know how to respond to confusing and disruptive behaviors that you don’t understand in a child. Highly recommended for anyone working in any kind of children’s program.

[Ashleigh Coker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a wonderful book that provided me insight on students from various, tough backgrounds. More & more kids/students are struggling with known & unknown traumas and I felt like this book helped open my eyes. As a teacher, one of my goals is to meet my students where they are & help them no matter what they are going through. I liked that It approached student struggles in a Christian way as well. Did this book give all the answers to every problem?, no, but I do feel more equipped to help & understand my students. It’s a must read for all educators.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Caring for Kids from Hard Places Is a must read for foster parents, adoptive parents, and basically anyone who is interacting children (and people) from hard places! This book contained a lot of information I already knew, as well as new information, and information I needed reminders on! I received an e-copy of this from netgalley but there is no doubt I will be purchasing a hard copy to have on hand as well. I will be recommending this to others!
All thoughts are my own

[Jamie Huston · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an excellent book! It was much better than (and exactly what I was looking for when I read) Teaching the At-Risk Teenage Brain earlier this year. Though the Schoolers' focus and background is in Christian youth ministry, their lessons here easily transfer to regular public classrooms. I took pictures of a lot of pages and made a lot of notes--I really feel like this will be a better school year for my students because I read this book. Highly recommended!

[Katie Elmer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful accumulation of lessons learned through decades of working with people in their deepest pain - and also bringing radical hope for the future no matter what. Forever grateful for the Schoolers' ministry in my life - rest in greatest peace Pastor Schooler. I could hear his voice so clearly throughout this writing - such a comfort and encouragement.

[Deanna Blount · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved how they explained the concepts through real life stories. Each chapter opened with a related quote and ended with key points, discussion questions, and action steps. I wish I had read this before I started teaching and before we fostered. Great book for anyone that works with kids!

[Tracey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book on trauma informed classrooms. Very clear and helpful, as well as practical.

[Gloria Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a good book!

[Nawal Ciaramitaro · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has some good information. I thought it was more geared toward foster/adoptive parents, but it was more generalized to people who work with children.

[Stephanie Chapman · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good. Not only for caring for kids with trauma background but also how to heal from your own.

[Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very informative

[David Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think everyone should be doing ministry through a trauma-informed lens. People are complex and there is so much under the surface that we glance over.

[Erin Kohlmeyer · Rating 3 out of 5]

More for teachers than parents

[Erica LeBrun · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had a lot of great information. I did not know when I picked it up that it would be centered around the environment of church community and Sunday school with an emphasis on the teachings in the Bible. There were many parts that were still relevant to my classroom/life.