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Father Time: A Natural History of Men and Babies

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A sweeping account of male nurturing, explaining how and why men are biologically transformed when they care for babies

It has long seemed self-evident that women care for babies and men do other things. Hasn’t it always been so? When evolutionary science came along, it rubber-stamped this venerable division of mammalian males evolved to compete for status and mates, while females were purpose-built to gestate, suckle, and otherwise nurture the victors’ offspring. But come the twenty-first century, increasing numbers of men are tending babies, sometimes right from birth. How can this be happening? Puzzled and dazzled by the tender expertise of new fathers around the world—several in her own family—celebrated evolutionary anthropologist and primatologist Sarah Blaffer Hrdy set out to trace the deep history of male nurturing and explain a surprising departure from everything she had assumed to be “normal.”

In Father Time , Hrdy draws on a wealth of research to argue that this ongoing transformation in men is not only cultural, but profoundly biological. Men in prolonged intimate contact with babies exhibit responses nearly identical to those in the bodies and brains of mothers. They develop caring potential few realized men possessed. In her quest to explain how men came to nurture babies, Hrdy travels back through millions of years of human, primate, and mammalian evolution, then back further still to the earliest vertebrates—all while taking into account recent economic and social trends and technological innovations and incorporating new findings from neuroscience, genetics, endocrinology, and more. The result is a masterful synthesis of evolutionary and historical perspectives that expands our understanding of what it means to be a man—and what the implications might be for society and our species.

432 pages, Hardcover

Published May 14, 2024

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About the author

Sarah Blaffer Hrdy

16 books122 followers
Sarah Blaffer Hrdy is an American anthropologist and primatologist who has made several major contributions to evolutionary psychology and sociobiology. She has been selected as one of the 21 “Leaders in Animal Behavior.”

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5 stars
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31 (19%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
Profile Image for Ali.
1,797 reviews162 followers
August 16, 2024
I have been a long-term fan of Blaffer Hrdy’s and in particular, her work challenging male-centric views of human evolution by centring parenting and early childhood care as a driver of evolution. She has always focused, however, on the role of females in this development, grandmothers in particular as alloparents, and the role of post-birth hormones in mothers. So, learning she was working on a book looking at the role of male parenting was too interesting to pass up. Father Time is a solid look at male parenting, which does dart around on various topics, but overall presents an intriguing look at aspects of male parenting. This includes a range of animal studies, a delve into early human evolution, and studies on what happens to modern humans of various genders when they parent newborns. She focuses on behavioural studies and chemical analysis.
Findings covered include that males parent in various circumstances, that all alloparent humans get oxytocin boosts from being around newborns, and that adults will strongly bond with specific infants they care for, with or without a genetic connection to that child. Blaffer Hrdy speculates that the capacity to parent could run through an early evolved part of the brain, and that individuals within many species may have the capacity to act in nurturing ways in the right conditions, part of a flexibility. She doesn’t have enough evidence to do more than speculate however.
Blaffer Hrdy’s motivations are a little disconcerting, although some of the best parts of the book are where she mines those. She implies that a big part of her curiousity was watching her son-in-law, raised and living with different expectations to her husband, take an active parenting role. It is clear, that even before her grandchild was born, she was taking saliva samples from him, indicating a research interest so this narrative is not straightforward, but clearly the changing mores have challenged her assumptions. It is not surprising that Blaffer Hrdy would have biases - after all, her social and science worlds both assumed that nurture was associated with birthing and breastfeeding females, but for someone whose life work - whose groundbreaking life’s work is in this field, it is sobering. She interrogates this bias, and uses it to look at how this might impact other aspects of scientific enquiry. Ultimately, one of the book's great strengths is the window into the entwined personal and scientific lives of her and her colleagues.
Father Time feels more like the start of a conversation than its conclusion, and I hope there is more to come from various researchers trying to understand the complex worlds of humans and other species of parenting.
Profile Image for Stetson.
557 reviews346 followers
July 30, 2024
Father Time is the culmination of ten years of research and thinking by the esteemed anthropologist and veteran of the sociobiology wars, Sarah Blaffer Hrdy. It is a comprehensive exploration of the evolutionary history of paternal care in humans. The dedication of modern fathers is often viewed as an unnatural, tenuous construction, but Hrdy argues parental care capabilities are embedded deep in our genome and can be as strong in men as women.

Inspired by witnessing the touching dedication of her son and son-in-laws as they became fathers, Hrdy began researching the biology of fatherhood, wondering if her discipline has overlooked a paternal instinct. Emerging science describing endocrinological and biopsychological changes in the fathers of infants also convinced Hrdy to dig deeper. In Father Time, she surveys paternal care across the animal kingdom and recapitulates human ethnographies of paternal care in ancestral niches to argue both that there is a latent biological substrate for paternal care and that paternal commitment in humans has been shaped by the forces of evolution. After assembling this evidence, she makes two main arguments: 1) There is almost certainly a latent capacity for the tender care that can be activated by certain conditions like proximity to infants. 2) Social selection forces rather than sexual selection alone tempered male status competition and re-direct males toward provisioning, protecting, and caring actions.

Hrdy's heterodox perspective gently rebukes both hardcore adaptionist and social constructionist theories, spooling out many interesting ideas becoming increasingly salient in the advanced world where men and women have become increasingly estranged and fertility has declined.

Extended book review at Substack



Some Notes:

-According to the Standard Cross-Culture Sample of 186 human societies just 27% report the regular presence of the father at the birth of his child.

-Among the closest great ape relations (chimpanzees, gorillas, orangutans, bonobos) infant care is exclusively female.

- At most 5% of the world’s 5400 mammalian species have any direct male care of babies. (Hrdy borrows the high end of an estimate from Rogers and Bales [2019] which was based on survey of 2545 species by Lukas and Clutton-Brock [2013].

-The work of Hrdy and others has shown that infanticide of unrelated infants is a primate-wide reproductive strategy. In other words, it provides a sexually selective advantage to the males that practice it.

-The Bruce Effect - spontaneous abortion subsequent pregnant females mere detection of an unknown male in her vicinity (in mice)

-Intimate Fathers by Barry Hewlett reported that men of the Aka, a group of Central African foragers, spend 50% of a day within arms reach of infants and interact with them fondly ~10% of that time. They also hold young infants (1-4 months of age) for almost a quarter of that time. This is the highest rate of paternal involvement ever recorded in an ancestral-like hunter-gatherer setting.

-Within 6 months following birth, the baseline levels of oxytocin in new fathers approaches the average levels in mothers. What oxytocin does and how exactly it does it is still poorly understood but it is correlated with affectionate contact.

-fMRI work on mothers vs fathers shows primordial regions activation in the brainstem (hypothalamic circuits) of mothers while that father response is in cortical areas of the brain (superior temporal sulcus and medial prefrontal cortex).



Profile Image for Patrick.
500 reviews18 followers
September 19, 2024
Loved this, such a thoughtful, creative, somewhat quirky engagement with the biological roots of “new” models of fatherhood, written by an accomplished primatologist and evolutionary biologist. And mother. Lots of speculation in here and a somewhat confusing structure but overall thought it was great.
Profile Image for Michal.
321 reviews2 followers
November 26, 2024
I think many conservative-thinking people will not like this book. We took it for granted that each sex has its own role because most mammals do not know paternity. But actually, we all have it in us. It's just waiting to be activated by the environment when it is needed. If we go way more in the past, we come from the ocean, and fish use paternity quite a lot. It is also interesting to observe more closely aboriginals or take a look at the evidence before Europeans came with patriarchy - many men were taking care of babies in various ways because it was helpful in our society. More contact with babies is changing behavior for women and men alike. Men are then less aggressive and more protective and helpful. Europeans fought wars for so long and created patriarchy that just deepened disconnection from babies and fed the aggression in us. Only now, in the 21st century, paternity is wide-spreading. Again. But on a very new level. Interestingly, the brain of a man as the main caregiver is lighting up very similarly to that of a woman as the main caregiver. It is in our genes. And this book explains it quite well with a very thorough journey. The only negative is that some chapters are written with more complex language than necessary.
Profile Image for Isaac Goodspeed Overton.
102 reviews4 followers
July 27, 2024
This book is not what I was expecting, but offered intriguing insight into theories of how evolution may play a role in the involvement of men in caring for Children. I enjoyed the science explaining how men are just as capable of becoming care givers and how anyone who chooses to care for an infant biologically will change, just as mothers have been known to do.
Profile Image for Noah.
77 reviews2 followers
January 27, 2025
I jumped into this book with very little information other than the title and a few sentences of the blurb, which resulted in me having a different experience than I expected. More evolutionary anthropology and psychology, less behavioral neurology/endocrinology. That's obviously not the book's fault, but mine. So I want to be clear, my enjoyment of this book was about a 3.5/5 but my estimation of the quality of the book (for whatever that's worth) is a 5/5. This was impressively researched writing from a brilliant author. Dr. Hrdy does a great job at synthesizing a lot of complicated ideas in an engaging way. But I would definitely recommend having some foundation in evolutionary biology before jumping into this book.
Profile Image for Javier.
13 reviews
May 5, 2025
I’m a caring and attentive father to my baby daughter. I believe in equality and try to share the responsibilities of parenting with my wife as much as possible. I discovered this book when a Spanish media outlet interviewed the author, and I found the topic very interesting. However, I have to say it didn’t meet my expectations. I thought it would have a more human-centered approach (particularly focused on men), but about 90% of the book discusses the animal world, and the language is overly scientific.
Profile Image for Marijo.
184 reviews4 followers
October 15, 2024
Through the years, Sarah Hrdy has distinguished herself by upending long-held assumptions simply by reminding people that women have evolved as well as men. By looking at integrative topics such as animal behavior, human evolution, and the origins and function of infanticide, she changed our paradigms in anthropology. She served as a prime example of why diversity of views matters so much to science. From exploring the roles of grandmothers to understanding why human males are tamer than the males of our closest relatives, her work and the works of a handful of other female anthropologists have changed how we look at our species.


Now, in Father Time, Dr. Hrdy takes on the topic of fatherhood. Instead of the archetypic minimization of fatherhood to one of provider and alpha protector, Dr. Hrdy explores the nuanced interactions between fathers and offspring and how the relationship impacts each of them, both in humans and non-humans. From hormonal changes to behavior and psychology, Hrdy shreds the myth that only females are designed for parenthood.


If you are interested in primate behavior or gender biology, or if you are a new father struggling with your changing roles, this book may provide you with insights that challenge the stereotypes that society tries to foist upon us. I also recommend pairing it with Frans de Waal’s new book, Different, which reminds us that differences occur both within and among genders and that “different” doesn’t mean that one gender is better or worse than another. It’s another excellent read that pairs well with Father Time.
Profile Image for Nuno Coelho.
110 reviews44 followers
November 12, 2025
A primeira nota que quero registar tem por objetivo deixar claro que gostei do livro. Começo por deixar esta nota para o leitor não ficar com a ideia contrária por causa do que vou escrever a seguir.

Aquilo que a autora Sarah Blaffer Hrdy apresenta de uma forma bastante detalhada, quer com base na sua experiência pessoal, quer com base no seu conhecimento enquanto antropólogo e primatóloga, é algo que me parece natural. A evolução do papel do pai, e do que significa ser pai, ao longo dos tempos é algo que não me provoca qualquer surpresa, ainda que tenha sido muito interessante fazer o percurso com a autora.

O meu principal problema é com a realidade, não com o livro, é o momento onde ainda estamos e a ideia (real) de que o papel do pai ainda tem um longo caminho a percorrer. Em pleno século XXI é uma ideia que me choca, como se existisse um universo que continua a ser apenas da mãe e que o pai não pode, ou não quer, fazer parte. Não me revejo minimamente nessa ideia e, honestamente não percebo o porquê de ainda não termos evoluído nesse ponto.

Reforço que é um livro muito interessante, bem estruturado, que apenas não pode dizer mais porque a realidade ainda não permite. O tempo do pais tem de ser maior, e eles devem fazer por isso. Recomendo.
Profile Image for Madeline.
998 reviews213 followers
December 30, 2024
Okay, so my eyes did glaze over about 20% of the time, and the section headings are ... what are they doing? They seemed almost random sometimes? But there is plenty of interesting info about human animals and non-human animals, and how they reproduce and care for young. There's also plenty of interesting discussion about how people interpret data.

Blaffer Hrdy spends a lot of time talking about how male animals learn to share food with other animals, and how making this a standard feature of life together is an important step for humans. It's a behavioral trait that makes humans distinctive (for being widespread; other animals also do this). So I did shriek a bit when I found out some upper-middle class people are not teaching their toddlers to share. (Lol at those people who are like, "we do teach taking turns!" That's sharing.)
Profile Image for Klara.
63 reviews
April 9, 2025
I was about to give up on this book around 100 pages in but decided to painfully stuck it out. It was not quite what I expected it to be: I just don't really care about animals in this sense and the language was above my pay grade. However, halfway through it all started coming together, and I was finally reading about human males. This is objectively a very well researched book on an important topic. Subjectively, I prefer learning about cultural history (which is why I really enjoyed chapters 10 & 11) rather than biology.


Profile Image for Andrew.
18 reviews
January 14, 2025
Feminist evolutionary theory informed fatherhood/allomothering ftw. Hrdy presented a lot of great information and synthesized them well under the lens of evolutionary anthropology. My one complaint is the sections blending information from her biography and sociobiology seemed somewhat all over the place. However, the background on other species' and our evolutionary ancestors' behavior set the stage for the chapters on gender and modern opinions on fatherhood. These last two chapters were worth the price of admission for the cross-cultural ethnographic information on fatherhood and Hrdy's analysis of the misuse of science and politics to reinforce gender norms and misconceptions of human nature.
Profile Image for April.
957 reviews6 followers
August 2, 2024
A very interesting blend of disciplines to consider recent research regarding shifts in the male brain and endocrine system when spending extended time caring for young children. Hrdy considers anthropology, evolution, biology, chemistry, sociology and more in order to build a solid argument that societies are better for everyone when men undergo these changes and thinking through reasoning for why those societies haven't always (or even often) happened along with considering the implications of more male child-rearing in America and other modern cultures.
Profile Image for Eduardo Vara.
150 reviews4 followers
February 12, 2025
La paternidad obsesiona a algunos hombres y otros ni se la plantean, pero quienes quieran profundizar de verdad en sus bases biológicas, antropológicas y culturales deben leer ‘El padre en escena: una historia natural de hombres y bebés”, de la antropóloga y primatóloga Sarah Blaffer Hrdy. Y, de paso, descubrir que los varones que pasan más tiempo con sus bebés experimentan cambios cerebrales que mejoran sus capacidades de empatía y atención, de modo que las sociedades en que los hombres pasan más tiempo con los niños son menos agresivas.
Profile Image for James.
777 reviews24 followers
April 13, 2025
Men think they have to be chimpanzees because they're our closest evolutionary ancestor so they should kill other chimps and their chimp children and leave all mothering to the females of the species...but actually, couldn't men just be nurturing marmosets? Doesn't the particular environment that chimpanzee males live in drive them to act this way, and can't we choose to act differently?

It's weird that I read this book, it was randomly on a library display as I was checking out some holds. It's a little boring, but also sometimes interesting because of that question above.
Profile Image for Juny.
91 reviews25 followers
June 9, 2024
Los primeros capítulos fueron bastante buenos, pero en general el libro no mantuvo mi atención como esperaba. Me pareció que la autora desviaba su atención hacia temas que no estaban directamente relacionados con el tema central del libro, extendiéndose demasiado en estas secciones. Además, casi todo el contenido trataba conceptos con los que ya estaba muy familiarizado, por lo que me salté gran parte. No pude terminar los dos últimos capítulos; tal vez los lea más adelante. Para alguien con pocos conocimientos previos sobre el tema, la experiencia de lectura podría ser diferente.
Profile Image for Rach.
190 reviews1 follower
June 16, 2024
This was one of my first books and really deep dive into evolutionary biology and history, so I thought it was really informative but may be old hat to more knowledgeable folks. Really, I think the message of this book that I took away is that even "nature" (especially nature!) is a lot more malleable than most people think. From gender roles to natural selection this gave me a lot of hope in American society and the dad's of tomorrow 🥹
Profile Image for Yumi  Yumybook.
163 reviews14 followers
February 25, 2025
Hacía mucho que buscaba un libro que hablara sobre la paternidad y me ha encantado descubrir este, aunque buscaba mas algo sobre la parte mas emocional (ya que existen muy pocos libros sobre la paternidad en sí) ha sido un descubrimiento ENORME este libro, como de manera científica se sigue el hilo del cambio y la presencia del padre en la crianza, un libro documentado en el que se refleja la pasión de la autora en la búsqueda de respuestas, de entender y sobre todo de que tú lo entiendas.
Profile Image for The Crow.
305 reviews11 followers
August 25, 2025
Muy interesante. Aunque se centra, a mi gusto, excesivamente en los padres de muchas otras especies de animales. Y hay momentos que esto lo hace pesado. Gana cuando habla de los humanos, pero aún hay poca evidencia.

Para profesionales, muy recomendable.

Para padres y madres que quieran saber más sobre paternidad, se les puede hacer pesado porque, además, no habla de crianza (no hay consejos para padres).
37 reviews1 follower
June 23, 2024
A highly well researched book which takes the evolving behavior of males in our society and makes sense of where our society is headed. There were snipets of societal perspectives within the indigenous peoples of the Americas. I would like to have seen some comparison to the present day attitudes in Latin America.
Profile Image for Johan Björefeldt.
12 reviews
September 6, 2025
An interesting book offering a lot of intriguing insights into parenting and it's effects on men in particular. If you've recently become a father or are planning to be this book will likely be a good read. The language was a bit academic for my liking, and I felt many points were "dragged out" as filler. Happy I read it, but it's not exactly a casual read.
Profile Image for Melody.
1,097 reviews2 followers
November 9, 2024
I really enjoyed the chapters that talked about men and their connection with babies (human men and babies) and the impact that caring for babies makes on men. I definitely got lost in the more science-y chapters about animal males and their babies.
Profile Image for Michael G. Zink.
65 reviews4 followers
January 13, 2025
Very interesting theories around the impact on male behavior- human and other animals - from extended exposure to children, and the commitment to caregiving. It is a science-heavy book, as the author turns to biology, behavioral research, genetics, and neuroscience for explanations.
476 reviews
March 30, 2025
enjoyed this

recommended by my aunt in law - a book outside my comfort zone - enjoyed looking through the varied studies and tribes being studied and interesting insights

interesting - and echoes a lot of my experiences as a new father myself
37 reviews
July 16, 2025
Fin bok som visar hur vi män är gentekniskt programmerade till att ge omsorg till små barn, bara vi får och tar chansen. Boken är forskninhstung men lätt att hänga med i. Ibland blir det dock lite väl mycket om apor, fiskar, möss eller prärievargar.
17 reviews
August 10, 2024
Item was definitely written as a topic paper. Had go insight into why males started to play a more involved part in our children lives, but expected a little less science and more stories.
Profile Image for Raoul W.
150 reviews1 follower
October 18, 2024
Interesting journey back in evolutionary time to unpack the caring instinct in fathers for newborn babies.
Profile Image for Mary Batten.
Author 38 books7 followers
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February 16, 2025
Brilliant book presenting new neuroscience proving caring for babies changes a man biologically, bringing out his nurturing capacity.
Profile Image for Jim.
52 reviews
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July 23, 2025
Tough book to rate because only about 5% of it was what I was looking for
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