Begetting: What Does It Mean to Create a Child?

by Mara Van Der Lugt

An investigation of what it means to have children—morally, philosophically and emotionally

“Do you want to have children?” is a question we routinely ask each other. But what does it mean to create a child? Is this decision always justified? Does anyone really have the moral right to create another person? In Begetting , Mara van der Lugt attempts to fill in the moral background of procreation. Drawing on both philosophy and popular culture, Van der Lugt does not provide a definitive answer on the morality of having a child; instead, she helps us find the right questions to ask.

Most of the time, when we talk about whether to have children, what we are really talking about is whether we want to have children. Van der Lugt shows why this is not enough. To consider having children, she argues, is to interrogate our own responsibility and commitments, morally and philosophically and also personally. What does it mean to bring a new creature into the world, to decide to perform an act of creation? What does it mean to make the decision that life is worth living on behalf of a person who cannot be consulted? These questions are part of a conversation we should have started long ago. Van der Lugt does not ignore the problematic aspects of procreation—ethical, environmental and others. But she also acknowledges the depth and complexity of the intensely human desire to have a child of our own blood and our own making.

Genres: Philosophy, Nonfiction

272 pages, Hardcover

Published April 30, 2024

About the author

Mara van der Lugt is lecturer in philosophy at the University of St Andrews, where she specializes in early modern intellectual history and philosophy. She is the author of Bayle, Jurieu, and the "Dictionnaire Historique et Critique."

Reviews

[Sebastian Mada · Rating 5 out of 5]

It seems like there’s a new article or think piece around having children every day. Despite myself, I can’t help but read them because it’s a problem I’m interested in, but I’ve found them increasingly tedious and one-note. Almost every article frames this issue as a problem of demography, or economics, or culture or sociology, replete with all the handwringing and navel gazing of the authors’ own neuroses about having having had/not had children.

This book is a refreshing change of pace that actually centers the ethical problems of “begetting” on the begettee rather than the begetter. In fact, this framing of “begetting” (which I think is the correct word to use) is what prompted me to get the book in the first place.

It’s a book that has respect for its audience and it’s subject matter in a way that feels almost novel in relation to how this topic is usually written about. It’s sincere and rigorous without being overly filled with jargon. It is clearly genuinely concerned with the ethical question of begetting children, and while the author stakes out a position on this issue, it’s done in a way that is intellectually honest and geared towards broadening the readers’ horizon on the topic rather than browbeating them into submission.

I found the thesis of the book persuasive, the author does a good job weaving together different thoughts that I have often had but have been unable to synthesize or evaluate rigorously on my own. Highly recommended.

[Margaret Gipson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book with great interest, it held my attention throughout, and in several ways I thought it was well-written. That said, I disagree with this book about as much as I've ever disagreed with any book. Van Der Lugt builds her argument upon assumptions about life, meaning, and suffering that I simply do not and cannot share.

I appreciate that Van Der Lugt tries to add nuance to her argument so as to ward off the worst consequences of anti-natalist sentiment, but I would suggest that it's hard to be truly and meaningfully supportive of parents and their babies when at heart you think their children should not have been born and are the products of immoral or thoughtless begetting. Isn't this a classic criticism of anti-abortion groups and politicians? If her beliefs were to go mainstream I think it would be a very bad thing for humans in general and children in particular.

[fraser · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone be getting this book asap

[Alex I · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book for the moral and philosophical analysis it presents that feels lacking in typical conversation around the subject. It takes the subject matter seriously and analyses many of the hidden or explicit assumptions made while also presenting arguments for and against a certain point being made. I also appreciate how the chapter/subchapters are divided which make it easy to follow and good for re-reading.

[Laine McGinty · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciated the framing of this conversation so much and am grateful that I took my time with reading this. Essential for anyone with or without the desire to have a kid. I’ll be thinking about it forever.

[Dovydas Kiauleikis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ne „Būti ar ne būti?“, o „Turėti ar neturėti vaikų?“ – štai kur klausimas! Atsakymas – nereikėtų mąstyti norėjimo ir turėjomo kategorijomis. Nors atsakymų nėra, vien moraliniai klausimai.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Why did the philosopher not give me a straightforward and definitive answer to my questions?

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 - 4ish

I appreciate this book. A very welcome contrast to the constant breathless think pieces about how the world is literally going to end because people aren't having as many children these days, or the less breathless but still anxious books panicking over this (some written by philosophers as well!). "Begetting" truly takes a position of ambiguity on this - and most importantly emphasizes begetting, having a child, as a choice that is moral, and thus must be considered with gravity. Van Der Lugt takes anti-natalist arguments seriously, even if she doesn't ultimately take their stance. And I fundamentally agree with her position that, whether or not you agree at all with anti-natalists, their arguments are important in that they foreground the potential experience of the child, the being that will be created.

I think it will be a very difficult cultural shift, if it even happens, for procreation to be considered as a moral question by the majority of the population as Van Der Lugt wishes, partly because many people, as she acknowledges, are not in a position to do so. And also because our beliefs about procreation as THE ultimate meaning of human life it is often downright impossible for people to separate their idea of a meaningful life from something to do with the continuity of the human species. Questions of the morality of procreation also get mixed up with eugenics, racism etc., which can make broaching the topic difficult. Because of these difficulties I think there is so much more to be written on this, and I hope there is more quality writing on this. Right now, much of the writing on procreation and "birth rates" is so drenched in cultural narratives, extreme sexism, religion, images of apocalyptic movie dystopias etc. that I have to grit my teeth to read it. The question itself is deeply political in such a way that one could argue it is not possible to take a neutral moral view of it all, and that might be a partial oversight here, in not highlighting the centrality of reproduction as a social tool serves for misogyny.

I think my main problem with this book was that it does get repetitive. I felt like the author was repeating herself too much (and maybe a bit too "both sides are right" at points, though this is more so a personal pet peeve at the pathological compulsion among many writers here to emphasize they're taking all sides seriously. I don't think it is that serious of a problem here). But all in all the book is a good read and comes to interesting conclusions.

[Lotte Levelt · Rating 5 out of 5]

very insightful and absolutely love the way Van Der Lugt makes philosophy accessible. I enjoyed the combination of more classical sources and contemporary (cultural) references, citing eg Etty Hillesum and Floortje Dessing as well as Schopenhauer and The Hunger Games in one book, its a gem.

The author made me rethink some common assumptions around parenthood, and I enjoyed her deconstruction of all too common scripts around having children (ie why do people wanting children go unquestioned but we demand explanation of people who don't share this desire?). While she does not conclusively "advice" on the matter, after all, it is one of two major questions every person must grapple with (will I have children? am I religious?), I appreciate how Van Der Lugt takes as departure point the "perspective" of the child that, without giving consent, will be brought to life. and yes, there are somewhat better and worse reasons for having children, and I wholeheartedly accept her plea for reflecting more on the matter of (good) parenthood as a society (it's inherent 'goodness'/holiness may in fact do more harm and remains taboo).

also loved the idea of parental vows for a child, had not heard about this idea from Netherlands/Flanders, cute!

if you're reflecting on questions like "should/can I have children in times of climate crises" this one may be helpful

[Nora · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book delivers what it promises: it talks about what it means to create a child, especially by urging people (parents and parents-to-be) to consider the perspective and interests of the future child. It means to encourage people to think about the meaning of procreation; it does not intend to provide a definitive answer. The book is organized into five parts: arguments (against begetting), climate (i.e., climate change), narratives (that support procreation), motives (of begetting), and alternatives (to think about bearing children). While the book has delved deep into the meaning of procreation, not all the parts are equally strong. For example, I was disappointed by the part that focuses on the change of narrative brought about by climate change: the part consists of a mere three chapters, and none of which goes deep enough. But overall it has been a pretty good read and I’d recommend it to everyone.

[Aster]

DNF at 30%

I stopped reading because the book makes a weird moral demand: that antinatalists owe unconditional “support and sympathy” to parents simply because they chose to have children. The framing implies that antinatalists have a kind of perpetual obligation to provide emotional labor for parents and children, no matter how those parents treat them or how thoughtlessly they made the decision to have children. Parents aren’t fragile or powerless and seeing them as people in special need of sympathy from the very group whose stance they often dismiss or ridicule is... a bit like placing your head inside a tiger's mouth. No thanks.

Not as nuanced as it advertised itself to be. The author did say she would return to this point, but thankfully, I wouldn't be there. If you're not sensitive to parents' entitlement, I recommend reading it.

[Ginny Svec · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve always been interested in this topic. It was super interesting to read about it from a philosopher’s POV who seems to cover all of the bases and be fair in their assessments. This is so important if you’re thinking about bringing a child into the world, or if you want to explore why you aren’t interested in doing so! Either way, we should all take part in this journey of exploration.

[UlrikkeB · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great read and almost a philosophical manual on how to face the hyper-optimism, the “after me–the flood” and the autopilot of the transition into parenthood with grace, active thought, empathy, love and personal responsibility.

[Kyle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to like it, I thought the topic was something that deserves more discussion but it was a disorganized downer focused on negatives.

[Kozbi BC]

read this for a class on reproductive ethics and I enjoyed it! Good balance of pessimism and optimism

[Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Made me think about things I've ever thought before, and I enjoyed being taken through these arguments, whether or not I agreed entirely with them.

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A phenomenal introduction to one of the two questions every person must face. I am grateful for this book.

[Tomas Petruškevičius · Rating 4 out of 5]

Trumpai: tai nuoširdi, filosofiška ir provokuojanti knyga, kuri ne teisia, o kviečia mąstyti ir leisti sau rinktis