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F*ckboys Are Boring: A Gay Man's Guide to Dating
Brawny model and eating disorder advocate, Ryan Sheldon bares it all on his escapades as a gay man looking for love in the digital swipe culture hellscape that is modern dating. F*ckboys Are Boring is a raw, hilarious dating guidebook for everyone.
In this salacious, vulnerable, heartbreaking and hilarious guide to surviving the digital hellscape that is modern dating, model and eating disorder activist, Ryan Sheldon offers a path to healing while looking for real love. Ryan unapologetically shares it all (even the cringeworthy) about his escapades as a gay man looking for romance in a sea of fuckboys. F*ckboys Are Boring is a guidebook for anyone who has struggled with feeling inferior, unworthy, or less-than while looking for connection in this disconnected world. Whether you're gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, or queer, this book offers reprieve from swipe culture and includes a compatibility scale that will help you find love based on your values while also keeping your dignity intact.
But this is more than a dating guide. Sheldon gets vulnerable about his struggles with mental illness-including obsessive-compulsive disorder, abandonment wounds, and his addiction to chaos. He shares the truth about his eating disorder recovery and what it was like to walk away from an abusive relationship. He exposes the truth about dating in a larger body and finding love and acceptance for himself at any size. And he doesn’t hold back when he shares the wild stories from dating as a gay man in the digital modern world and the lessons he learned from those experiences.
F*ckboys Are Boring offers a new way of rating dates with a compatibility scale, the first of its kind, and invites readers to create their own scale so they can make dating choicesbased on their values (not just looks). Readers will come away with their own list of dating deal breakers, guides on how to maintain boundaries and self-respect in the modern era of swipe-culture, and a toolbox of resources that Sheldon has picked up through decades of therapy.
If you’re frustrated with the dehumanizing digital hellscape that is modern dating, F*ckboys Are Boring offers solace and support. Sheldon is like your gay best friend, dishing on all his outrageous dating stories, offering guidance and wisdom, and crying with you as one heartbroken casualty of harsh dating life to another. F*ckboys Are Boring offers hope to anyone (including f*ckboys) who has ever struggled with not feeling good enough while searching for love and offers a way for us to look at ourselves with compassion.
In this salacious, vulnerable, heartbreaking and hilarious guide to surviving the digital hellscape that is modern dating, model and eating disorder activist, Ryan Sheldon offers a path to healing while looking for real love. Ryan unapologetically shares it all (even the cringeworthy) about his escapades as a gay man looking for romance in a sea of fuckboys. F*ckboys Are Boring is a guidebook for anyone who has struggled with feeling inferior, unworthy, or less-than while looking for connection in this disconnected world. Whether you're gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, or queer, this book offers reprieve from swipe culture and includes a compatibility scale that will help you find love based on your values while also keeping your dignity intact.
But this is more than a dating guide. Sheldon gets vulnerable about his struggles with mental illness-including obsessive-compulsive disorder, abandonment wounds, and his addiction to chaos. He shares the truth about his eating disorder recovery and what it was like to walk away from an abusive relationship. He exposes the truth about dating in a larger body and finding love and acceptance for himself at any size. And he doesn’t hold back when he shares the wild stories from dating as a gay man in the digital modern world and the lessons he learned from those experiences.
F*ckboys Are Boring offers a new way of rating dates with a compatibility scale, the first of its kind, and invites readers to create their own scale so they can make dating choicesbased on their values (not just looks). Readers will come away with their own list of dating deal breakers, guides on how to maintain boundaries and self-respect in the modern era of swipe-culture, and a toolbox of resources that Sheldon has picked up through decades of therapy.
If you’re frustrated with the dehumanizing digital hellscape that is modern dating, F*ckboys Are Boring offers solace and support. Sheldon is like your gay best friend, dishing on all his outrageous dating stories, offering guidance and wisdom, and crying with you as one heartbroken casualty of harsh dating life to another. F*ckboys Are Boring offers hope to anyone (including f*ckboys) who has ever struggled with not feeling good enough while searching for love and offers a way for us to look at ourselves with compassion.
- GenresGay
240 pages, Hardcover
Published September 10, 2024
15 people are currently reading
179 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
November 11, 2024
Ryan Sheldon’s Fuckboys Are Boring: A Gay Man’s Guide to Dating for Everyone needs to be read by every gay man, especially those in their early 20s. The gay dating scene can feel lonely, isolated, and, honestly, scary and intimidating, but Ryan’s part-memoir, part-manifesto, and dating guide is truly a breath of fresh air. Many need to read this to be reminded that true love is out there, and to find it, we must start by loving within. On page 4, Ryan shares, “People will only love us to the extent we love ourselves.” This underlying message really shines throughout every section and chapter of this book.
Ryan shares his personal stories about his eating disorder and dating history, but the pieces that resonated with me most were his stories of being a larger guy in the dating scene, something I really related to. Something Ryan shares that really hit home was for plus-size folks: there’s this idea of “one day when I’m skinnier, one day when I’m smaller, one day when I look like this.” But really, if I’m not happy and in love with myself right now, I won’t be happy and in love with myself when I reach those “one day” moments.
This book is an emotional rollercoaster that will have any reader on the edge of their seat from some of his wild hookup stories that will leave you jaw-dropped to moments where he shares the most tear-jerking vulnerability. So if you’re looking for it, this is the sign to read Fuckboys Are Boring.
March 13, 2025
This book was recommended by the fabulous @average_jake_ over on TicTok.
Now I am not a young gay man, but, Jake’s description of the book peaked my interest and as an aspiring writer in the MM romance genre I figured this book would be great research.
Well, what can I say. I certainly got more than I bargained for!
I learnt so much about Ryan, dating as a gay man and the pit falls that brings, but what I’m most surprised at, is how much I learnt about myself, my life choices and indeed how I view myself and why I have those views!
It was also interesting to read an honest account abut dating, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and just life in general from a man. We need more of this! There is so much pressure on men to look and behave a certain way, to suppress their true emotions and just get on with things, and it’s needs to stop!
This book also has a lot of comical stories that I enjoyed.
Ryan I thank you for putting yourself out there and being so honest. I have so much self reflection I will take away from your story.
Jake, thank you for the recommendation.
I implore everyone to read this book, you might learn a thing or two 😜
Now I am not a young gay man, but, Jake’s description of the book peaked my interest and as an aspiring writer in the MM romance genre I figured this book would be great research.
Well, what can I say. I certainly got more than I bargained for!
I learnt so much about Ryan, dating as a gay man and the pit falls that brings, but what I’m most surprised at, is how much I learnt about myself, my life choices and indeed how I view myself and why I have those views!
It was also interesting to read an honest account abut dating, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and just life in general from a man. We need more of this! There is so much pressure on men to look and behave a certain way, to suppress their true emotions and just get on with things, and it’s needs to stop!
This book also has a lot of comical stories that I enjoyed.
Ryan I thank you for putting yourself out there and being so honest. I have so much self reflection I will take away from your story.
Jake, thank you for the recommendation.
I implore everyone to read this book, you might learn a thing or two 😜
October 2, 2024
When I saw this book on tiktok, I immediately ravaged the online sites of my local bookstores to see who had it in stock (lord, behold—there was one copy a couple miles outside of town).
This book came to me at a time when I needed it most. Being gay and dating is sadly an isolating experience and for the past year or more I’ve been witnessing all my close friends settle down in to long term, healthy relationships (yay, for them!). But it left me feeling so scared for the future. I’m 26 and gay dating & beauty standards fed and reinforced the narrative I created that I would be alone forever and soon all my friends would be gone, starting families or new chapters.
This book changed my perspective, not on dating per se, but on myself. It really serves as a tool to build your own self-worth, while nurturing and guiding you through the dating hell-scape. Definitely will be religiously re-visiting this guide when I join the dating pool again.
Truly, thank you Ryan Sheldon <3
This book came to me at a time when I needed it most. Being gay and dating is sadly an isolating experience and for the past year or more I’ve been witnessing all my close friends settle down in to long term, healthy relationships (yay, for them!). But it left me feeling so scared for the future. I’m 26 and gay dating & beauty standards fed and reinforced the narrative I created that I would be alone forever and soon all my friends would be gone, starting families or new chapters.
This book changed my perspective, not on dating per se, but on myself. It really serves as a tool to build your own self-worth, while nurturing and guiding you through the dating hell-scape. Definitely will be religiously re-visiting this guide when I join the dating pool again.
Truly, thank you Ryan Sheldon <3
January 22, 2024
LET’S PUT AN END TO SITUATIONSHIPS!
As a girlie in a situationship, this book was a comforting but rude awakening. I am so tired of accepting crumbs and Ryan told me exactly why I keep doing it. It is wild how it broke down my exact internal dialogue. If you want to snap out of your patterns, this book is for you. Ryan is honest, funny, and nonjudgmental. It’s a book you can read in one sitting. It’s not overwhelming, but it is informative. I’m recommending it for sure.
As a girlie in a situationship, this book was a comforting but rude awakening. I am so tired of accepting crumbs and Ryan told me exactly why I keep doing it. It is wild how it broke down my exact internal dialogue. If you want to snap out of your patterns, this book is for you. Ryan is honest, funny, and nonjudgmental. It’s a book you can read in one sitting. It’s not overwhelming, but it is informative. I’m recommending it for sure.
March 25, 2025
I loved this book and hate what it did to me. It called me out on my own shit and f*ckboy tendencies. It made me aware of so many issues I've been working on and need to work on in therapy. This was hilarious and emotional. I admire Ryan Sheldon for sharing his journey. It's a journey similar to my own, though my path has been markedly different. Fabulous and I am going to be working with my therapist through this book now. Thank you, Ryan.
September 21, 2024
This book is for anyone who has ever dated a man. I love the lessons at the end of each chapter and even got emotional when the author shared what it was like for him to grow up being bullied. He shares what he learned in therapy about why he was picking the wrong guys and how love chemicals can really mess with our ability to make good choices. I also appreciated how open and honest he was about his body image and struggles with his mental health. This feels like so much more than a book about dating. It's a book about self-acceptance, healing, and finding your worth in a world determined to dehumanize us and make us feel unlovable. Highly recommend! I'm thinking of reading it again and tagging the parts I want to come back to when I need a reminder of my value in this world.
September 28, 2024
A guide that opened my eyes to the reality that I’m not alone in the chaotic world of dating. The real-life stories and advice made me realize that the frustrations and challenges I’ve faced are shared by many. The book is funny, honest, and inclusive, offering practical tips that helped me rethink how I approach dating.
March 11, 2025
Thought it might be interesting but didn't see anything I didn't already know. I guess it's helpful that he acknowledges and takes accountability for his own distorted thought patterns. Maybe this book can help others but it's more just a sad snapshot of the times.
It also still never ceases to amaze me when white men complain though. I got the sense that he felt he was a victim and never thought about how his white privilege comes to play in the gay community and in dating. From my position, he is the fvckboy and he's boring.
So not really sure why he got a book deal as opposed to thousands of other gay men who could've written about their dating experiences. Try hearing from a man of color. OKCupid has the data for much whiteness plays into gay dating and is "worth" more than so many other traits sadly.
TBF, DNF and only looked at the table of contents and skimmed through parts that I was hoping would be interesting.
It also still never ceases to amaze me when white men complain though. I got the sense that he felt he was a victim and never thought about how his white privilege comes to play in the gay community and in dating. From my position, he is the fvckboy and he's boring.
So not really sure why he got a book deal as opposed to thousands of other gay men who could've written about their dating experiences. Try hearing from a man of color. OKCupid has the data for much whiteness plays into gay dating and is "worth" more than so many other traits sadly.
TBF, DNF and only looked at the table of contents and skimmed through parts that I was hoping would be interesting.
November 14, 2024
This book is authentically a gay man's experience in dating which can provide comfort to others.
It's an easy read with some pseudopsychological elements that make it enjoyable. The author enmeshes his life experiences in his journey through dating in the queer world and self-acceptance with clinical advice, but these analogies are often very surface-level due to the intended audience.
Often I wanted a more scientific explanation for certain behaviours that only a psychiatrist could provide rather than different acronyms to help visualise my thoughts, this is principally where the book fell short for me.
It's an easy read with some pseudopsychological elements that make it enjoyable. The author enmeshes his life experiences in his journey through dating in the queer world and self-acceptance with clinical advice, but these analogies are often very surface-level due to the intended audience.
Often I wanted a more scientific explanation for certain behaviours that only a psychiatrist could provide rather than different acronyms to help visualise my thoughts, this is principally where the book fell short for me.
March 20, 2025
100% recommend. Finding myself recently single after a (successful) 15 year relationship, I am terrified to navigate modern dating. Especially in the gay world. I only use the word successful because I have nothing bad to say about my previous partner. Our relationship is was a healthy one.
With that out of the way, it is very reassuring to hear Ryan’s POV and experience. To know what it is like out there, and what to expect and how to navigate it in the modern world. Rather than what is available on forums (reddit, etc). So, I am very thankful to have come across this book, rather than the more ‘jaded’ versions of what people share online.
With that out of the way, it is very reassuring to hear Ryan’s POV and experience. To know what it is like out there, and what to expect and how to navigate it in the modern world. Rather than what is available on forums (reddit, etc). So, I am very thankful to have come across this book, rather than the more ‘jaded’ versions of what people share online.
September 29, 2024
Such a good, easy read.
It was originally just a read for pleasure, however the profound lessons through heartbreak, friendships, unfortunate encounters, self discovery, societal expectations, perceived realities, and a whole lotta fuckboys— truly depicting a relatable human experience. It’s a book for people that, by default, have allowed others to dictate how they have felt about themselves. In some ways, it lets you reclaim your power, your thoughts, and reinvent yourself, the way you have always wanted.
It was originally just a read for pleasure, however the profound lessons through heartbreak, friendships, unfortunate encounters, self discovery, societal expectations, perceived realities, and a whole lotta fuckboys— truly depicting a relatable human experience. It’s a book for people that, by default, have allowed others to dictate how they have felt about themselves. In some ways, it lets you reclaim your power, your thoughts, and reinvent yourself, the way you have always wanted.
September 24, 2024
I didn’t find the self-help sections/worksheets super helpful or interesting but the book itself was interesting, insightful, and honestly just made me feel seen as a larger gay man looking for connections in this day. I also have OCD and had no idea that was going to be a part of the book but it helped me evaluate certain things about my dating tendencies. Now if I could only get all the gays to read it, then maybe we could get somewhere.
September 28, 2024
From navigating red flags to understanding compatibility on a deeper level, this book taught me to date differently—with more confidence and self-respect. It’s not just a guide for the LGBTQ+ community but for anyone who’s tired of the same old dating traps. A must-read for anyone looking to break out of toxic patterns and find something real!
December 25, 2024
Very insightful
The lists got to be a bit long and I lost focus, but overall this was a very relatable tale. My only complaint is that I'm worn down by "my therapist says..." stories, but if i think about it as him letting is read this diary this book was a very bold illustration of gay dating and how to survive the horrors.
The lists got to be a bit long and I lost focus, but overall this was a very relatable tale. My only complaint is that I'm worn down by "my therapist says..." stories, but if i think about it as him letting is read this diary this book was a very bold illustration of gay dating and how to survive the horrors.
September 25, 2024
What a breath of fresh air. Loved it, thought it was funny, will use some of the tools and tips in my personal life.
September 29, 2024
Very solid read!
February 13, 2025
Does gay dating suck? Yes. Do gay men suck? Also, yes. I struggled alot to listen to this audiobook. Is it because it was too real? Yes. Was it also because it was super drawn out? Also, yes.
July 14, 2025
This book has a lot of information that we already know but we don't want to externalise so put it out explicitly its a good way to help.
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews