How Do We Relationship?, Vol. 11

How Do We Relationship? #11

by Tamifull, JN Productions (Translator), Abby Lehrke (Translator)

Shy Miwa has always dreamed of finding love, but living in small-town Japan made finding the right match difficult—especially since she likes girls! Even going away to college didn’t seem to help, until one day her outgoing classmate Saeko suggests they might as well start dating each other since it’s not like either of them has other options.

Miwa and Saeko have finally put the pain of their breakup completely behind them and are enjoying a fresh chance at romance. But while they both love their girlfriends, they’re learning an unfortunate truth—starting a new relationship doesn’t mean leaving your old issues behind.

Genres: Manga, LGBT, Romance, Yuri, Queer, Contemporary, Lesbian

192 pages, Paperback

First published September 12, 2023

Reviews

[Mark · Rating 5 out of 5]

As dating life continues for Miwa and Sae, with their respective partners, I mean, things that were not a big deal are becoming increasingly harder to ignore. This time out it’s no picnic. Well, one.

Even if it isn’t my personal favourite, there is no getting around the fact that How Do We Relationship? is one of the best yuri ever written and one of the best romances. Oh, and one of the best coming of age stories to boot.

These characters are so flawed and messy and that makes them so interesting and relatable, no matter their sexual orientation. When Miwa once again starts down a rough path for herself, well, she’s sure got form from earlier in the series.

She and Tamaki have a great chemistry, provided sex isn’t involved. Miwa’s got her thing where she thinks sex is a crucial piece of expressing her love, which is fine for her, but Tamaki finds it difficult with her lower sex drive. That this story looks at differing sex drives is fantastic in and of itself.

When Tamaki pushes back on this, however, it causes Miwa to take things way too far in an attempt to change and be what she thinks Tamaki needs. Except Tamaki has been pretty clear about that, although Tamaki has never been the most tactful at delivering messages.

Except except, Tamaki herself then lashes out over this in the worst way possible and I’m torn as to whether this volume needs a content warning for attempted sexual assault because it goes pretty dark. The state we leave Miwa in is legitimately haunting and the depiction in the manga of the act and the aftermath is brutally effective.

Elsewhere, Sae and Yuria are having their own problems because Sae, who still has no real goal, is putting her effort into supporting Yuria’s dream instead of finding her own. Which is not, in itself, a bad thing.

Except Yuria’s terrible self-esteem and bouts of depression make her think that she isn’t worth that and that she’s holding Sae back from doing something she actually wants to do. But Sae doesn’t, so they are butting heads about this a lot, even if they seem fine outwardly.

Even with communication, sometimes relationships do not work because of fundamental differences between the people involved. And sometimes you don’t see that until farther along, which is what’s happening here, and if you can’t compromise or overcome, it can make for an impossible situation.

We have two different couples coming apart in two different ways and, yes, I would absolutely love for this to come back around to a wiser Sae and Miwa who now realize what they had together and that they can make it work. Sae keeps Miwa from spiraling at one point and also praises the thing Miwa hates about herself, so the seeds are there.

Yet they’re both trying so hard to make it work too. It’s not like they’re dating bad people. There are no villains here, just people with feelings and attitudes that don’t necessarily align in important ways. Plus, these reactions have all been seeded earlier on from the introduction of these characters. Nothing here makes no sense.

There’s a bunch of the usual silly stuff, we check in with all our regular cast, and there’s frank discussion of all sorts of sex and sexual problems. These are people becoming adults and they have adult problems, sometimes through a less than adult lens.

The straightforward way this story deals with and portrays sex is so refreshing, but I do wonder if that’ll keep us from getting an anime. Which is a shame; this deserves one more than a lot of manga. It is absolutely the full package.

Far more than other, more superficial, stories, there is so much going on in this manga besides what’s said, though it says a lot too. It has everything I want from the genre, but it also has everything I want in a manga period.

5 stars - this series continues to be one of the best written manga I’m reading and, between it and Even Though We’re Adults, we’re spoiled for choice for great yuri with a more adult take. Highly recommended.

[Rod Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

The cracks in the main couples continue to widen as they deal with incompatible sex drives and other relationship dynamics, but by force or willingly, they are starting to address the issues directly instead of beating around the bush. And with the final year of college approaching, thoughts increasingly turn to the future.

A lot of emoting, but little forward motion. I'm having a bit of trouble telling if we're on the cusp of a big change or simply spinning wheels in the mud.

[Anna Quilter · Rating 4 out of 5]

Even though we know their fate through the commentary track....Miwa and Saeko's current relationships start to show cracks.
The series hits a lot of raw nerves and is slow moving but compelling

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

this seriously is one of my all-time favorite series, it hits way too hard and close every time

[Victoria Horn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Content warning for sexual assault is definitely needed for this volume, and I really, really hope the last scene is addressed and called out in a clear-cut in the next volume because I am seriously not happy with this cliffhanger. It could be very damaging to readers vulnerable to abusive relationships. Although I do love how nuanced and messy these characters are and the depth of content within their interpersonal relationships, I am really concerned with Miwa and Tamaki’s dynamic. It really seems, at this point, to be reinforcing really harmful stereotypes about sex being an inherently bad thing you shouldn’t want, rather than examining the harmful attitudes Tamaki is perpetuating under the guise of asserting her own lack of desire to have sex and her bodily autonomy. There is just an immaturity and inequality in their relationship, and a lot of blame has been placed on one party, in my opinion, when Tamaki’s shitty communication has led to some seriously abusive dynamics. I’m holding onto hope that since Saeko (SAEKO SUPREMACY!!!!!!) has noticed something is off, she will help Miwa assert herself and extract herself from this relationship, if it comes to that. To the author’s credit (because I really do love the depth of these characters and their internal struggles) these dynamics are not framed in a positive light, but I think it could be further asserted so there is no doubt about who is in the wrong here.

[Abbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

that saeko and tamaki both exist between the covers of this series is unfair to me, personally

[Reuben Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every volume just keeps further cementing this as my favourite yuri series ever. This one hit really hard with exploring how important sexual compatibility is in a relationship, and how fucking painful it is when you really do love each other and there’s so much else about the relationship that works and you really want to hold onto it, but the bit that isn’t working is so fundamental. I’m feeling all the feelings for both couples and I really wish everything could work out all lovely and everyone be happy but I also feel like it just can’t, through no fault of their own, and that suuuucks.

[Sucre · Rating 5 out of 5]

this is hands down the best yuri being made right now. it explores so many aspects of relationships in thoughtful ways and isn't afraid to show the characters being fuckups and stumbling in their relationships and friendships. this volume really grappled with the idea of mismatched libidos in relationships and im excited to see how that's continued in the next volume

[Rae · Rating 4 out of 5]

overall really good depiction of the deep complexities of early adulthood relationships. i appreciate that this series takes an unflinching look into the darker parts of self doubt, relationships, and insecurity.

that being said, it could have used a tw for sexual assault. it’s not graphic but still left me a bit shaken for the rest of the day.

[Cynthia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one felt a little bit more like a filler for me at first, but we get more development in the second half. I appreciate how imperfect their communication and behavior are, where both and neither are in the wrong at the same time, and how sincere they feel. It really feels realistic.

[axi ♡]

going from self harming myself with miwa tamaki to saeko yuria aftercare

i've been praying for miwa & saeko to get back together but her relationship with yuria is so fucking real i know it's gonna beat my ass now if they actually break up. also shiho reunion was so peak cries

[Bentgaidin · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good, very real feel to the drama, love the tension of the various relationships and waiting to see how it keeps unfolding.

[Alexa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Never ceases to be super relatable.

[nelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh shit…. This was hard to read during some parts and it made me so sad…

[Galatea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sad, heartfelt, horny, fun, and above all, hopeful.

Also very gay, can't wait for the next volume!

[Rebecca Jane · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars.

[Colton Stroud · Rating 4 out of 5]

Again, a little slow, like the last volume, but there’s something cooking… hopefully something good but it kind of seems like something bad..!

[Qing Yi Chen · Rating 5 out of 5]

OUCH.........

[Charles Hennessy · Rating 5 out of 5]

this has become my favourite manga now holy shit

[Devonn Hardy · Rating 5 out of 5]

How restricting yourself in order to keep relationship is displayed is amazing. I really shows how painful it is for Miwa and Yuria to hide a part of themselves from their partner.

[sky · Rating 5 out of 5]

hitting too close to home, might kms

[peep · Rating 3 out of 5]

kinda losing interest a little but im almost done with the series so im gonna finish!

[t · Rating 3 out of 5]

if miwa has no haters im dead

[Alex · Rating 4 out of 5]

It feels like seeing an ex