What do you think?
Rate this book
15 Lies Women Are Told at Work... And the Truth We Need to Succeed
What’s still holding women back at work? Bonnie Hammer, Vice Chair of NBCUniversal and one of the most powerful women in corporate America, debunks the bad advice that too many women at all levels are told and shares her surprising, no-nonsense secrets to success.
Bonnie Hammer’s legendary career spans five decades in a turbulent, male-driven industry. Today, Bonnie is a powerful leader at the very top of her field, and women constantly ask What is your secret to success?
Recognized as “the most powerful woman in Hollywood,” Bonnie’s power—and her staying power—comes from rejecting common myths about how women are “supposed” to behave and approach the workplace. She knows the traditional stories women are told about work—captured in pithy phrases like “don’t mix work with play,” “talk is cheap,” “follow your dreams,” “know your worth,” “trust your gut,” and “you can have it all”—actually hold women back. Drawing on her experiences rising from an entry-level production assistant to a top executive responsible for transforming NBCUniversal into a media powerhouse, Bonnie flips conventional workplace wisdom and gives women the un common sense they need to succeed.
Bonnie has mentored countless women who’ve built careers in every industry, and she leads NBCUniversal’s mentorship program for female executives. She’s known for taking no prisoners and telling the uncensored and uncompromising truth—even when it isn’t easy to hear. Now, she shares her time-tested wisdom in fifteen chapters that call out the lies women are told at and about work. She replaces them with powerful new truths and gives you easily digestible and practical advice to nail it in your own life.
Written with humor and heart, and full of data and research that prove her points, 15 Lies Women Are Told at Work is a portable mentor for working women. It doesn’t just explain one woman’s rise to the top in a tough industry; it shows how any woman can rise in her own work world.
Bonnie Hammer’s legendary career spans five decades in a turbulent, male-driven industry. Today, Bonnie is a powerful leader at the very top of her field, and women constantly ask What is your secret to success?
Recognized as “the most powerful woman in Hollywood,” Bonnie’s power—and her staying power—comes from rejecting common myths about how women are “supposed” to behave and approach the workplace. She knows the traditional stories women are told about work—captured in pithy phrases like “don’t mix work with play,” “talk is cheap,” “follow your dreams,” “know your worth,” “trust your gut,” and “you can have it all”—actually hold women back. Drawing on her experiences rising from an entry-level production assistant to a top executive responsible for transforming NBCUniversal into a media powerhouse, Bonnie flips conventional workplace wisdom and gives women the un common sense they need to succeed.
Bonnie has mentored countless women who’ve built careers in every industry, and she leads NBCUniversal’s mentorship program for female executives. She’s known for taking no prisoners and telling the uncensored and uncompromising truth—even when it isn’t easy to hear. Now, she shares her time-tested wisdom in fifteen chapters that call out the lies women are told at and about work. She replaces them with powerful new truths and gives you easily digestible and practical advice to nail it in your own life.
Written with humor and heart, and full of data and research that prove her points, 15 Lies Women Are Told at Work is a portable mentor for working women. It doesn’t just explain one woman’s rise to the top in a tough industry; it shows how any woman can rise in her own work world.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published May 7, 2024
177 people are currently reading
8447 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 85 reviews
May 9, 2024
I admit to having never heard of Bonnie Hammer before buying this book. I bought it because I have two daughters about to enter the career phase of their lives, and after close to a half-century in the corporate trenches, I have very little advice to give them. While I have had some success in my career, the corporate world today is not the one I entered in the mid-70s.
Bonnie Hammer is vice chair of NBCUniversal, a remarkable feat for several reasons. She is a woman in a man’s world. She is 72 years old in a corporate world infatuated with youth. And she works in an industry that has been the poster child for disruption in the digital age.
To anticipate the questions of the privileged men, like myself, this is not a feminist manifesto. Her advice applies to everyone. For the women, Hammer is not advocating more leaning in. In what is clearly her very direct way she makes it clear that you will face choices in your career. You can’t have it all, however you define that. But you can have the important stuff.
The book is structured around 15 aphorisms that we’ve all heard. She rejects some outright, like “you can have it all.” Others she provides another take on. And in each case, she provides a lot of relative personal stories so that she isn’t just replacing one tidbit of conventional wisdom with another.
The writing is superb and reflects a lucid and active mind. Very active. I suspect it might be tiring to spend a day with her, but her energy is overwhelming optimistic and humble. “Put a premium on kindness. Live with humility. Learn how to joke at your own expense.”
Being of the same age and having fought the corporate wars for a comparable amount of time, one piece of advice stood out for me. “Truly great careers zigzag.” Don’t be limited to looking up your silo in assessing your next career opportunity. She was the VP of original programming at USA Network when she was asked to oversee the World Wrestling Federation franchise. She took it and succeeded. In my own case I landed a job in corporate finance just out of college. It was my chosen career, but within a few years I was asked to take a job in the factory and swapped my office on the upper floor of corporate headquarters for a much more used office in a 1 million sq. ft. factory. I accepted with some trepidation, but I never looked back, going on to C-suite positions in industrial companies, both here and abroad.
The point she makes is that disruption is so prevalent today no one can predict what their career will look like even a few years down the road. If you are just starting your career, you will be fired, let go, acquired, and otherwise put in the blender several times over your career. Guaranteed. Don’t bother to plan anything. Instead, prepare yourself to see opportunity where others see bad luck and injustice. Don’t avoid change, she advises, “run toward it.”
One of the best sections in the book is devoted to chutzpah, a Yiddish word that roughly means having the courage to speak up even when it comes at some risk. “Call it moxie, courage, or conviction – all of us should have some of it, especially at work. While waiting our turn, knowing our place, playing it safe, doing what we’re told, and following the rules probably won’t get us in trouble, they usually don’t get us ahead, either.” She’s right, and it’s as true in our personal lives as our professional ones.
“My hope, though, is that this book gives you the tools and truths (and attitude) you need to take control of your story and write those next chapters yourself.” She might be understating the attitude, which I suspect she has in abundance, but it’s put to very good use in this case with a positive message that should be heard by all.
Bonnie Hammer is vice chair of NBCUniversal, a remarkable feat for several reasons. She is a woman in a man’s world. She is 72 years old in a corporate world infatuated with youth. And she works in an industry that has been the poster child for disruption in the digital age.
To anticipate the questions of the privileged men, like myself, this is not a feminist manifesto. Her advice applies to everyone. For the women, Hammer is not advocating more leaning in. In what is clearly her very direct way she makes it clear that you will face choices in your career. You can’t have it all, however you define that. But you can have the important stuff.
The book is structured around 15 aphorisms that we’ve all heard. She rejects some outright, like “you can have it all.” Others she provides another take on. And in each case, she provides a lot of relative personal stories so that she isn’t just replacing one tidbit of conventional wisdom with another.
The writing is superb and reflects a lucid and active mind. Very active. I suspect it might be tiring to spend a day with her, but her energy is overwhelming optimistic and humble. “Put a premium on kindness. Live with humility. Learn how to joke at your own expense.”
Being of the same age and having fought the corporate wars for a comparable amount of time, one piece of advice stood out for me. “Truly great careers zigzag.” Don’t be limited to looking up your silo in assessing your next career opportunity. She was the VP of original programming at USA Network when she was asked to oversee the World Wrestling Federation franchise. She took it and succeeded. In my own case I landed a job in corporate finance just out of college. It was my chosen career, but within a few years I was asked to take a job in the factory and swapped my office on the upper floor of corporate headquarters for a much more used office in a 1 million sq. ft. factory. I accepted with some trepidation, but I never looked back, going on to C-suite positions in industrial companies, both here and abroad.
The point she makes is that disruption is so prevalent today no one can predict what their career will look like even a few years down the road. If you are just starting your career, you will be fired, let go, acquired, and otherwise put in the blender several times over your career. Guaranteed. Don’t bother to plan anything. Instead, prepare yourself to see opportunity where others see bad luck and injustice. Don’t avoid change, she advises, “run toward it.”
One of the best sections in the book is devoted to chutzpah, a Yiddish word that roughly means having the courage to speak up even when it comes at some risk. “Call it moxie, courage, or conviction – all of us should have some of it, especially at work. While waiting our turn, knowing our place, playing it safe, doing what we’re told, and following the rules probably won’t get us in trouble, they usually don’t get us ahead, either.” She’s right, and it’s as true in our personal lives as our professional ones.
“My hope, though, is that this book gives you the tools and truths (and attitude) you need to take control of your story and write those next chapters yourself.” She might be understating the attitude, which I suspect she has in abundance, but it’s put to very good use in this case with a positive message that should be heard by all.
June 3, 2024
I’m an elderly Millennial, so I’m probably not the target audience for this book. That said, it’s pretty okay.
Hammer makes some solid points about working diagonally, taking risks, and starting out on the low end of an organization. However, there are definitely some “okay, Boomer” eye roll moments about working in person and work attire. I also thought the book ran a bit long (15 lies and truths is a lot, ten would work just as well).
If a recent grad specifically asked about starter workplace books, I might suggest this book. But it’s nothing revolutionary.
Thanks to Simon and Schuster for the ARC!
Hammer makes some solid points about working diagonally, taking risks, and starting out on the low end of an organization. However, there are definitely some “okay, Boomer” eye roll moments about working in person and work attire. I also thought the book ran a bit long (15 lies and truths is a lot, ten would work just as well).
If a recent grad specifically asked about starter workplace books, I might suggest this book. But it’s nothing revolutionary.
Thanks to Simon and Schuster for the ARC!
August 12, 2024
Bonnie Hammer (b. 1950) is currently a Vice Chairman at NBC Universal and has spent decades in the entertainment business, including stints as president of several cable TV channels (USA and SyFy, formerly SciFi). 15 Lies Women are Told at Work is part-memoir, part-career advice guide aimed at largely at younger women, published as she is likely winding down her career. I don't know how broadly applicable her advice is -- for instance, she postulates that part of her career success in her 20s and 30s was due to divorcing her high school sweetheart the year she turned 30, choosing to postpone motherhood, marrying a man who put her career above his when she was around 40, and having only one biological child in her early 40s -- thus, she was free to make work her top priority throughout her 20s and 30s and was well-positioned in high profile role by the time of her first and only pregnancy. There are career advice bits that I think are more generalizable, like understanding that early in our careers we need to accept we're low on the totem pole and need to earn our reputations and skills, and finding challenging mentors in addition to supportive ones. Overall, I found the memoir pieces more interesting than the career advice (she has had a fascinating career!), as usually happens with this type of book.
Further reading:
When Women Invented Television: The Untold Story of the Female Powerhouses Who Pioneered the Way We Watch Today by Jennifer Keishin Armstrong
Nobody Cares About Your Career: Why Failure Is Good, the Great Ones Play Hurt, and Other Hard Truths by Erika Ayers Badan - a very similar book published recently
My statistics:
Book 171 for 2024
Book 1774 cumulatively
Further reading:
When Women Invented Television: The Untold Story of the Female Powerhouses Who Pioneered the Way We Watch Today by Jennifer Keishin Armstrong
Nobody Cares About Your Career: Why Failure Is Good, the Great Ones Play Hurt, and Other Hard Truths by Erika Ayers Badan - a very similar book published recently
My statistics:
Book 171 for 2024
Book 1774 cumulatively
July 22, 2025
So I was pretty lucky in that I received this book as a Goodreads giveaway in a pivotal moment in my life. Currently my career is on the edge and I had a sudden retraction from where I was headed so steadily. I felt lost but this book really put a lot of what I needed to hear into perspective and I’m glad for it.
I read this book really slowly because I really wanted to take it all in. Absorb it. The book was really good in doling out great advice for women.
Some of the lies mentioned in this book that Bonnie Hammer then shifted to the truths we need to hear really helped me focus and really helped me in this regard. I’m really glad that I found this book at the right moment and right place.
I think every woman with a career or job should read this book. In fact I think women who don’t have a job or career but are contemplating one should also read it. It really shifts things into perspective and focuses on what your goals and priorities should be and what could be better outcomes in our life.
I really liked some of the metaphors she used in the book.
My favorite chapter was the “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff/Sweat All Stuff” I especially liked what she said in regards to making lists.
The only problem I had with this book was when her take would get a little bit long. Otherwise everything else was pretty good.
I annotated, highlighted, and underlined a lot of stuff in this book. It had some really great points and some good takeaways. I took my time with this book but I’m all the more better coz of it.
I read this book really slowly because I really wanted to take it all in. Absorb it. The book was really good in doling out great advice for women.
Some of the lies mentioned in this book that Bonnie Hammer then shifted to the truths we need to hear really helped me focus and really helped me in this regard. I’m really glad that I found this book at the right moment and right place.
I think every woman with a career or job should read this book. In fact I think women who don’t have a job or career but are contemplating one should also read it. It really shifts things into perspective and focuses on what your goals and priorities should be and what could be better outcomes in our life.
I really liked some of the metaphors she used in the book.
My favorite chapter was the “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff/Sweat All Stuff” I especially liked what she said in regards to making lists.
The only problem I had with this book was when her take would get a little bit long. Otherwise everything else was pretty good.
I annotated, highlighted, and underlined a lot of stuff in this book. It had some really great points and some good takeaways. I took my time with this book but I’m all the more better coz of it.
May 20, 2024
I got this book from a Goodreads Giveaway! I was so excited to get this book in the mail. This book is honest and to the point. It is the perfect balance of advice, real life stories, and pointers to get you where you need to be as a woman in leadership. Unlike other self-help books I’ve read, it is not saturated with stories from the author that overpower the point of the lessons being taught. I also agreed with every aspect of this book, another rarity in self-help. I definitely recommend to any woman leader in any field!
dnf
June 19, 2024dnf at pg 52
i really just did not like her voice or style. tbh its kinda boring and i didnt want to finish it
i really just did not like her voice or style. tbh its kinda boring and i didnt want to finish it
June 16, 2025
Thank you to Simon Element #partner for the gifted copy to review.
There were a few nuggets in here that I was able to make note of and take away, I am at the back half of my career and this is probably more for those just getting started, but I liked how it was written, and Hammer has definitely seen some things and navigated tough situations so I appreciated her perspective on how to handle them.
There were a few nuggets in here that I was able to make note of and take away, I am at the back half of my career and this is probably more for those just getting started, but I liked how it was written, and Hammer has definitely seen some things and navigated tough situations so I appreciated her perspective on how to handle them.
May 20, 2024
This is a wonderful self-help book written to help women enhance their careers at any stage. The author has distilled the lessons learned during a very successful business life and has presented them in an easy to read and understand format. Many useful tips told with a sense of humor. Remember - don't let your chest, thighs, or bra straps show:) XOXOXOs to Bonnie Hammer for sharing the truth.
July 26, 2025
Bad advice DNF
August 9, 2024
I thought it started well in the first chapter. There were some weird things that are so old school, like dress up, show up.. hustle hustle. Yikes coming from a big women leader I just expected better advice.
May 9, 2024
I devoured this in a night!! This book is full of wisdom that anyone, at any stage of their careers, would learn and grow from. I especially loved the chapter on “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff,” and Bonnie’s powerful counterpoint: Sweat ALL Stuff. She makes the point, poignantly, that at work and in life, “We don’t respect the people who focus on broad strokes and blow the rest off. We don’t celebrate the people who believe minor details and decisions are beneath them. On the contrary, the people our culture elevates—the people who end up leading, succeeding, and inspiring us—are the ones who make time for the small stuff and take it seriously.” And then she gives some incredible, concrete tips to show readers who to apply her advice in their everyday lives… even if it doesn’t come naturally. The chapters on zig-zagging through our careers and “facing it” till we make it have stuck with me too.
15 Lies is a powerful and delightful read—so powerful that I’m gifting it to every woman (and some of the men) I work with, and so delightful that I got through it in little over a day. I can’t recommend this book enough!
15 Lies is a powerful and delightful read—so powerful that I’m gifting it to every woman (and some of the men) I work with, and so delightful that I got through it in little over a day. I can’t recommend this book enough!
May 22, 2024
I like the way she wrote, felt like I was chatting with a friend.
This book had me bringing out my highlighter and was a quick insightful read.
This book had me bringing out my highlighter and was a quick insightful read.
June 18, 2024
Should have been a medium article.
June 4, 2024
Words I needed to hear, when I needed to hear them - during a time of major career change.
May 20, 2025
Bonnie Hammer’s 15 Lies Women Are Told at Work is an honest, accessible, and surprisingly energizing read. With the clarity of a mentor and the warmth of a seasoned leader, she breaks down the myths that hold women back and offers sharp, actionable truths in their place.
What stood out to me most were the bits of real-world wisdom scattered throughout, things I wish someone had told me earlier. Advice like “sweat the small stuff” because it adds up, or “put a premium on kindness” even in high-pressure environments, felt both grounding and empowering. Her reflections on "chutzpah" were a highlight for me., so much so that I made multiple notes on that section. She challenges readers to act boldly, not recklessly, and to align confidence with care and clarity. I especially appreciated the scripts and phrasing suggestions, useful and relatable without being overly polished.
Hammer doesn’t romanticize remote work or pretend that visibility alone gets you ahead. Instead, she emphasizes humility, strategic thinking, and genuine connection. Her encouragement to reach out, speak up, and keep learning is delivered with a tone that is as practical as it is uplifting.
This isn’t a book filled with corporate jargon or overused slogans. It’s filled with hard-earned truths, warm encouragement, and a nudge to show up fully, flaws, flops, and all. Perfect for early-mid-career professionals or anyone rethinking their work and worth.
What stood out to me most were the bits of real-world wisdom scattered throughout, things I wish someone had told me earlier. Advice like “sweat the small stuff” because it adds up, or “put a premium on kindness” even in high-pressure environments, felt both grounding and empowering. Her reflections on "chutzpah" were a highlight for me., so much so that I made multiple notes on that section. She challenges readers to act boldly, not recklessly, and to align confidence with care and clarity. I especially appreciated the scripts and phrasing suggestions, useful and relatable without being overly polished.
Hammer doesn’t romanticize remote work or pretend that visibility alone gets you ahead. Instead, she emphasizes humility, strategic thinking, and genuine connection. Her encouragement to reach out, speak up, and keep learning is delivered with a tone that is as practical as it is uplifting.
This isn’t a book filled with corporate jargon or overused slogans. It’s filled with hard-earned truths, warm encouragement, and a nudge to show up fully, flaws, flops, and all. Perfect for early-mid-career professionals or anyone rethinking their work and worth.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 25, 2024
Part self help book and part her life chronicle, Bonnie Hammer taps into her wealth of experience and brings to us a book filled with lessons for the modern day woman, on how to tackle life and not just work.
A woman today is faced with challenges few would have anticipated 10 years ago. Having done it all and been around the world, Bonnie talks to us in a kind, friendly voice that makes one feel as if in an intimate gathering with her and as if she was just talking to you as a friend.
Being in the medical fraternity and possibly the farthest away from what she does, her words still resonated with me and I am a better woman because of it.
A woman today is faced with challenges few would have anticipated 10 years ago. Having done it all and been around the world, Bonnie talks to us in a kind, friendly voice that makes one feel as if in an intimate gathering with her and as if she was just talking to you as a friend.
Being in the medical fraternity and possibly the farthest away from what she does, her words still resonated with me and I am a better woman because of it.
June 1, 2024
I didn’t agree with every perspective in this book, but much of it resonated WAY more with me than anything from Lean in or other “women’s” leadership spinoff books. I also appreciate Hammer’s blazing journey as a leader in cable television - a wholeheartedly male dominated industry - through decades.
June 29, 2024
15 Lies Women are Told at Work and the Truth We Need to Succeed by Bonnie Hammer
A Goodreads Giveaway Review
Bonnie Hammer hones out 15 major catchphrases we all hear during our growth in life but especially in our careers. She takes these and turns them into realistic points to help drive you to be a better self, colleague, and leader. Throughout the book there are clever and personal anecdotes that thoroughly impact how these resonate with you. For example, “Don’t Sweat the small stuff. The truth: Sweat all stuff.” Bonnie gives tips and tricks to enhance your life right down to recommendations for calendar additions, after explaining that this attention to detail is a large part of her success right down to remembering a colleague’s favorite wine for a gift. All in all, delightful and memorable read with major influences that will be tied in with personal growth.
#goodreadsgiveaway
A Goodreads Giveaway Review
Bonnie Hammer hones out 15 major catchphrases we all hear during our growth in life but especially in our careers. She takes these and turns them into realistic points to help drive you to be a better self, colleague, and leader. Throughout the book there are clever and personal anecdotes that thoroughly impact how these resonate with you. For example, “Don’t Sweat the small stuff. The truth: Sweat all stuff.” Bonnie gives tips and tricks to enhance your life right down to recommendations for calendar additions, after explaining that this attention to detail is a large part of her success right down to remembering a colleague’s favorite wine for a gift. All in all, delightful and memorable read with major influences that will be tied in with personal growth.
#goodreadsgiveaway
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 27, 2024
Feeling stymied when it comes to promotions and work recognition? Successful TV/Cable executive Bonnie Hammer has a sure-fire plan of action. Don't worry, you haven't heard all this before. This book gets to the point. I'm going to condense it all to give you the high points. Hopefully, you'll read the book for the details and the rationale. Be prepared to work: pay attention to grooming, dress up, watch your manners, speech, negative communications. Study, learn, volunteer, work collegially. Seek out a mentor, network, don't burn bridges, don't betray loyalties, learn, learn, learn. Get the idea? You're going to be busy! BTW, this book would also be helpful for men who are seeking positive guidance.
Take a look at the Myths vs. Truths below. You might be surprised.
Myth #1: Follow your dreams. Truth #1: Follow the opportunities.
Myth #2: Don't just know your worth. Truth #2: Work on your worth.
Myth #3: Have friends in high places. Truth #3: Find truth tellers in every location.
Myth #4: It's what's on the inside that counts. Truth #4: What's on our outsides matters, too.
Myth #5: You can have it all. Truth #5: You will have choices.
Myth #6: Fake it 'til you make it. Truth #6: Face it 'til you make it.
Myth #7: It's a man's world. Truth #7: Only if you let it be.
Myth #8: Talk is cheap. Truth #7: Talk is a valuable currency.
Myth #9: Good things come to those who wait. Truth #9: Great things come to those who act.
Myth #10: There's nowhere to go but up. Truth #10: Success has multiple directions.
Myth #11: Trust your gut. Truth #11: Check your gut.
Myth #12: Don't sweat the small stuff. Truth #12: Sweat all stuff.
Myth #13: The winner takes all. Truth #13: Winning isn't everything.
Myth #14: Don't mix work with play. Truth #14: All work and no play makes everyone dull.
Myth #15: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Truth #15: If it could be better, it might be broken.
The author reminds us of women's strengths. ..." Because the way to succeed in a man's world isn't to become a pseudo-man. The way to succeed in a man's world is to stand out as a woman ... our tendency toward bonding, trusting, cooperating, and, yes, empathy. The way women communicate and collaborate also influences our approach to arguments, conflicts, and full-blown crises. While men seek victory at all costs, we tend to seek resolution; they want to win the war, we want to end it. We don't just seem less threatening, we really are." This is just a smattering of our strengths.
"In the Sex and the City Cable show, Sarah Jessica Parker's Carrie Bradshaw was right: 'Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman.'"
Pease let me know your thoughts. I'd love to hear from you. You can email me at elainewrites@earthlink.net.
I wish you all a life inspired by the wonder of the world around us. May you find and live your truth, in harmony with people, nature and the environment. May you be a force for good and a source of love and comfort. May the world be a better place for you having lived and loved here.
All rights reserved 2024
Take a look at the Myths vs. Truths below. You might be surprised.
Myth #1: Follow your dreams. Truth #1: Follow the opportunities.
Myth #2: Don't just know your worth. Truth #2: Work on your worth.
Myth #3: Have friends in high places. Truth #3: Find truth tellers in every location.
Myth #4: It's what's on the inside that counts. Truth #4: What's on our outsides matters, too.
Myth #5: You can have it all. Truth #5: You will have choices.
Myth #6: Fake it 'til you make it. Truth #6: Face it 'til you make it.
Myth #7: It's a man's world. Truth #7: Only if you let it be.
Myth #8: Talk is cheap. Truth #7: Talk is a valuable currency.
Myth #9: Good things come to those who wait. Truth #9: Great things come to those who act.
Myth #10: There's nowhere to go but up. Truth #10: Success has multiple directions.
Myth #11: Trust your gut. Truth #11: Check your gut.
Myth #12: Don't sweat the small stuff. Truth #12: Sweat all stuff.
Myth #13: The winner takes all. Truth #13: Winning isn't everything.
Myth #14: Don't mix work with play. Truth #14: All work and no play makes everyone dull.
Myth #15: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Truth #15: If it could be better, it might be broken.
The author reminds us of women's strengths. ..." Because the way to succeed in a man's world isn't to become a pseudo-man. The way to succeed in a man's world is to stand out as a woman ... our tendency toward bonding, trusting, cooperating, and, yes, empathy. The way women communicate and collaborate also influences our approach to arguments, conflicts, and full-blown crises. While men seek victory at all costs, we tend to seek resolution; they want to win the war, we want to end it. We don't just seem less threatening, we really are." This is just a smattering of our strengths.
"In the Sex and the City Cable show, Sarah Jessica Parker's Carrie Bradshaw was right: 'Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman.'"
Pease let me know your thoughts. I'd love to hear from you. You can email me at elainewrites@earthlink.net.
I wish you all a life inspired by the wonder of the world around us. May you find and live your truth, in harmony with people, nature and the environment. May you be a force for good and a source of love and comfort. May the world be a better place for you having lived and loved here.
All rights reserved 2024
July 16, 2024
I was a first-generation college student and the first person in my family to go into sales as a profession. So needless to say, there was a lot of things that I had not been exposed to and a lot of my learning ended up coming from the proverbial truths that were shared by bosses and coworkers. The downside to this type of development is that just because something has been repeated, it doesn't mean it's true.
That is the premise of Bonnie Hammer's new book 15 Lies Women are Told at Work. Bonnie has spent her entire working life in Television and Cable and is currently Vice Chair of NBCUniversal. And while I love the structure of this book, I really think this could have been called 15 Lies WE are Told at Work because the lessons in this book are useful for everyone in the work world.
Each chapter starts with "What We're Told" and then "The Truth". For example "What We're Told: Follow your dreams." "The Truth: Follow the opportunities." Bonnie then goes on to explain the truth and in the My Take section shares real examples from her and others' careers. Then in the Nail It section gives you prescriptive steps you can take to action on The Truth.
One of my favorite chapters is There's Nowhere to Go but Up/Success has multiple directions. We've all heard about the career ladder but Bonnie shares the value of a career of "Zigzags" and how they can create greater breadth and opportunity over the course of your career. In the Nail It section she then talks about aligning to your values, looking for stretch assignments in your current role, and loyalty among other considerations.
Your career is a marathon and not a sprint and it is always useful to have the guidance of someone who has run that race before you. This book shows us that we need to make sure that we need to make sure the advice we are getting is not just an old trope but truly something that will help us succeed in the present and the future.
That is the premise of Bonnie Hammer's new book 15 Lies Women are Told at Work. Bonnie has spent her entire working life in Television and Cable and is currently Vice Chair of NBCUniversal. And while I love the structure of this book, I really think this could have been called 15 Lies WE are Told at Work because the lessons in this book are useful for everyone in the work world.
Each chapter starts with "What We're Told" and then "The Truth". For example "What We're Told: Follow your dreams." "The Truth: Follow the opportunities." Bonnie then goes on to explain the truth and in the My Take section shares real examples from her and others' careers. Then in the Nail It section gives you prescriptive steps you can take to action on The Truth.
One of my favorite chapters is There's Nowhere to Go but Up/Success has multiple directions. We've all heard about the career ladder but Bonnie shares the value of a career of "Zigzags" and how they can create greater breadth and opportunity over the course of your career. In the Nail It section she then talks about aligning to your values, looking for stretch assignments in your current role, and loyalty among other considerations.
Your career is a marathon and not a sprint and it is always useful to have the guidance of someone who has run that race before you. This book shows us that we need to make sure that we need to make sure the advice we are getting is not just an old trope but truly something that will help us succeed in the present and the future.
July 29, 2024
It feels appropriate to start this review of a book about “lies” with a simple truth: this is a great resource for anyone in the corporate world, in pretty much any field.
And here’s another truth: while the title implies that it’s a book for women, there are plenty of insights and anecdotes for everyone. Here are a few that stood out to me:
-The 10 “commandments” for corporate culture
-How a producer mentality in both your business life and your personal life can get people to say “yes”
-Why caregiving is key for leaders, and paying attention to the way people feel – showing warmth – can lead to outsize success (because when people feel protected, they do their best work)
-How to talk “with” your team not “at” them
-The value of collaboration, and how to make everyone a part of key decisions
-What it means to have chutzpah in the office and to make things happen, rather than waiting for them to happen
There are (stating the obvious) a lot of business-related books out there. What makes this one different is not just that it comes from the perspective of someone who was instrumental in creating and influencing American media culture for the past several decades, but that it synthesizes engaging and insightful personal anecdotes into a series of actionable lessons and directives.
I’d be hard pressed to think of anyone who wouldn’t benefit from reading this. And if your gut is telling you that this book just isn’t your thing, well…you might want to read Chapter 11, about when to trust your gut (and when not to)!
And here’s another truth: while the title implies that it’s a book for women, there are plenty of insights and anecdotes for everyone. Here are a few that stood out to me:
-The 10 “commandments” for corporate culture
-How a producer mentality in both your business life and your personal life can get people to say “yes”
-Why caregiving is key for leaders, and paying attention to the way people feel – showing warmth – can lead to outsize success (because when people feel protected, they do their best work)
-How to talk “with” your team not “at” them
-The value of collaboration, and how to make everyone a part of key decisions
-What it means to have chutzpah in the office and to make things happen, rather than waiting for them to happen
There are (stating the obvious) a lot of business-related books out there. What makes this one different is not just that it comes from the perspective of someone who was instrumental in creating and influencing American media culture for the past several decades, but that it synthesizes engaging and insightful personal anecdotes into a series of actionable lessons and directives.
I’d be hard pressed to think of anyone who wouldn’t benefit from reading this. And if your gut is telling you that this book just isn’t your thing, well…you might want to read Chapter 11, about when to trust your gut (and when not to)!
July 14, 2024
interesting (to me) title lured me to get this from the library, but should not have. As an old man deep into 4th quarter of career rather than a young woman seeking career advice, I'm not the target audience. But beyond that......
(a) didn't care for the "lie/truth" framing. Formula seemed to be to take some expression one hears (you can have it all; fake it till you make it; don't sweat the small stuff........), interpret it literally and in grossly overgeneralized fashion; then shoot down this straw person with counterexamples (actually, the details are sometimes important........). I mostly agreed with her points but found it implausible that anybody who has held a job or even thought about adult life for more than a minute or so actually believes the "lie" to be universally correct.
(b) most of it is not specific to women
(c) got bored of all the personal anecdotes from her successful TV production career.
(d) didn't really settle on a voice. Some of the stories showed potential for a kind of humorous retirement-party-after-dinner-speech vibe, but then she'd go into a didactic thing about exactly how you should structure a thank-you note for someone who helped you at work, making for a jarring transition.
Anyway, won't belabor it. As always, YMMV, but not for me at all.
(a) didn't care for the "lie/truth" framing. Formula seemed to be to take some expression one hears (you can have it all; fake it till you make it; don't sweat the small stuff........), interpret it literally and in grossly overgeneralized fashion; then shoot down this straw person with counterexamples (actually, the details are sometimes important........). I mostly agreed with her points but found it implausible that anybody who has held a job or even thought about adult life for more than a minute or so actually believes the "lie" to be universally correct.
(b) most of it is not specific to women
(c) got bored of all the personal anecdotes from her successful TV production career.
(d) didn't really settle on a voice. Some of the stories showed potential for a kind of humorous retirement-party-after-dinner-speech vibe, but then she'd go into a didactic thing about exactly how you should structure a thank-you note for someone who helped you at work, making for a jarring transition.
Anyway, won't belabor it. As always, YMMV, but not for me at all.
November 16, 2024
A remarkable woman with an impressive career distills the lessons she's learned over 3 decades in television. Some of the advice I think was of its time & no longer applicable, some I disagree with (don't separate work & life) & some I'm bewildered by (write emails in comic sans! No one can be too offended by something they read in that font!). And, there were many good takeaways:
- Embrace whatever new reality you're faced with as your new reality, and do it quickly.
- realize that winning isn't everything, but learning how to lose is. With the right mindset you can take your flops & flip them
- Truly great careers zigzag. They crisscross. They go sideways & get turned upside down. They include breaks to refuel and reevaluate. But if we can manage to forgo a fixed destination, we can cover a lot more ground & have a lot more fun
- The point of living is to learn as we go
- we need to discover what fills us with joy on Monday morning & with dread on Sunday night
- Those of us who aren't committed to a specific dream have the chance to follow new opportunities
- there's a difference between possessing dreams & allowing dreams to possess us
- the same way that cheering someone as they dive headfirst into the kiddie pool isn't good encouragement, blind faith & unconditional applause aren't good mentorship
- Embrace whatever new reality you're faced with as your new reality, and do it quickly.
- realize that winning isn't everything, but learning how to lose is. With the right mindset you can take your flops & flip them
- Truly great careers zigzag. They crisscross. They go sideways & get turned upside down. They include breaks to refuel and reevaluate. But if we can manage to forgo a fixed destination, we can cover a lot more ground & have a lot more fun
- The point of living is to learn as we go
- we need to discover what fills us with joy on Monday morning & with dread on Sunday night
- Those of us who aren't committed to a specific dream have the chance to follow new opportunities
- there's a difference between possessing dreams & allowing dreams to possess us
- the same way that cheering someone as they dive headfirst into the kiddie pool isn't good encouragement, blind faith & unconditional applause aren't good mentorship
June 5, 2025
The book has a very easy to follow (and easy to skim) format: one "lie" , one correction of the lie, one personal example illustrating this concept, plus follow up. I admit I skipped the personal examples, but the rest I found to be easy to digest and helpful to consider. She begins with "Follow Your Dreams", adds in the feminist subtext, "because your mothers and grandmothers worked too hard to give you the ability to follow them", but then proscribes "Follow Your Opportunities" as a replacement. To Hammer, while it is important to recognize what options are available to women, she wants them to be grounded enough to know that they need to take advantage of openings around them instead of insisting upon something that may limit them too much with its specificity. Likewise, she points out that women can't "have it all" because no one ever has. Even the men with all their career opportunities were never able to fit a time/resource intensive fatherhood in at the same time. Short, sweet, and to the point, Hammer's book is a quick read to let us know that women now have many options to reach multiple definitions of success.
June 30, 2024
I was very interested to read this book because I am a "fan" of Bonnie Hammer, I have followed her career for years because I worked in media (I'm currently in marketing) and we both graduated from the same school at BU, so she was constantly mentioned or pictured in articles in various trade pubs that I receive.
I thought 15 Lies...was very good and well-written, but it's really for a young person -- someone in their twenties or thirties, not someone of my age group. That said, I wish I had been able to read this when I was in my twenties or thirties because it would have helped.
Hammer's book provides sensible, no-nonsense advice, punctuated with lots of stories from her own career to give the reader a good idea of what she did in that situation, as well as what not to do. If I had a young friend just starting out in the business world, I would definitely recommend this book to them -- it would also make a great college or B school graduation gift.
Really good advice written in easy to digest chunks -- I highly recommend it.
I thought 15 Lies...was very good and well-written, but it's really for a young person -- someone in their twenties or thirties, not someone of my age group. That said, I wish I had been able to read this when I was in my twenties or thirties because it would have helped.
Hammer's book provides sensible, no-nonsense advice, punctuated with lots of stories from her own career to give the reader a good idea of what she did in that situation, as well as what not to do. If I had a young friend just starting out in the business world, I would definitely recommend this book to them -- it would also make a great college or B school graduation gift.
Really good advice written in easy to digest chunks -- I highly recommend it.
September 12, 2024
I read this for a group book discussion at work. First of all, I find the title very misleading. I feel it could have more accurately been titled Musings on some common clichés by a feminist who believes women are better than men. There was very little in the book that specifically applied to women, except for the way she chose to focus on her XX factor. In general, this was a review of her achievements and quite frankly, I think it would have worked better as a blog post, taking the content from pages 301-302 where she does a recap of the content. I certainly don't agree with all of it - in today's North American society I really don't feel we should assign a gender to personality traits. I do hope that most people reading this are already familiar with the majority of what she wrote about. There's certainly nothing ground-breaking to be found in her musings.
May 21, 2025
After over 50 years in an industry that's primarily male, Hammer shares her hard-won wisdom with readers. Using 15 aphorisms such as "you can have it all" and "don't mix work with play", Hammer shares her insight and hard-won experience. While some things have changed in the workplace, others have not as Hammer bluntly points out. Some of her best advice centers on being open to any opportunity (not just the dream job you picture in your head), realizing that success can mean zigzagging (not just a straight shot up the ladder), and to not conflate your personal worth with your work worth (i.e. everyone starts at the bottom). As I finished this book, the phrase "the more things change, the more they stay the same" ran through my head.
September 20, 2024
Professional pick me girl tells her career journey as if she solved world peace and we should all know who she is and shares how her lack of boundaries helped her in the workplace ✨
there was some good stuff about leadership in here in the second half like “workplaces can’t expect people to treat the job like more then a 9-5 if you are treating them like a number” but nothing to help more junior level professionals that wasn’t just like “come early and stay late and suck your bosses dick lol just kidding!!” overall a lot of this was dated and unoriginal advice that wasn’t even specific towards women
there was some good stuff about leadership in here in the second half like “workplaces can’t expect people to treat the job like more then a 9-5 if you are treating them like a number” but nothing to help more junior level professionals that wasn’t just like “come early and stay late and suck your bosses dick lol just kidding!!” overall a lot of this was dated and unoriginal advice that wasn’t even specific towards women
July 24, 2025
This book has the type of insights that it takes years of experience to really understand to be able to share, and communicates them in a way to make them relatable to people at any stage of their career.
Engagingly written, Bonnie Hammer doesn’t give you just a peek behind the door of the working world for women, but takes you on a full tour. Through this book, she has provided proverbial shoulders for women to stand on in the workplace. Whether you are new to the workforce or someone who has been in for +30 years, there is something for you to learn from this book.
Thank you to Simon & Schuster for the free copy for review.
Engagingly written, Bonnie Hammer doesn’t give you just a peek behind the door of the working world for women, but takes you on a full tour. Through this book, she has provided proverbial shoulders for women to stand on in the workplace. Whether you are new to the workforce or someone who has been in for +30 years, there is something for you to learn from this book.
Thank you to Simon & Schuster for the free copy for review.
October 10, 2025
Part self help book and part her life chronicle, Bonnie Hammer taps into her wealth of experience and brings to us a book filled with lessons for the modern day woman, on how to tackle life and not just work.
A woman today is faced with challenges few would have anticipated 10 years ago. Having done it all and been around the world, Bonnie talks to us in a kind, friendly voice that makes one feel as if in an intimate gathering with her and as if she was just talking to you as a friend.
Being in the medical fraternity and possibly the farthest away from what she does, her words still resonated with me and I am a better woman because of it.
A woman today is faced with challenges few would have anticipated 10 years ago. Having done it all and been around the world, Bonnie talks to us in a kind, friendly voice that makes one feel as if in an intimate gathering with her and as if she was just talking to you as a friend.
Being in the medical fraternity and possibly the farthest away from what she does, her words still resonated with me and I am a better woman because of it.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 85 reviews