The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes

by Nancy R. Pearcey, Susan Hanfield (Narrator)

"Why Can't We Hate Men?" asks a headline in the Washington Post . A trendy hashtag is #KillAllMen. Books are sold titled I Hate Men , The End of Men , and Are Men Necessary?

How did the idea arise that masculinity is dangerous and destructive? Bestselling author Nancy Pearcey leads you on a fascinating excursion through American history to discover why the script for masculinity turned toxic--and how to fix it.

Pearcey then turns to surprising findings from sociology. Religion is often cast as a cause of domestic abuse. But research shows that authentically committed Christian men test out as the most loving and engaged husbands and fathers. They have the lowest rates of divorce and domestic violence of any group in America.

Yes, domestic abuse is an urgent issue, and Pearcey does not mince words in addressing it. But the sociological facts explode the negative stereotypes and show that Christianity has the power to overcome toxic behavior in men and reconcile the sexes--an unexpected finding that has stood up to rigorous empirical testing.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Christianity, Theology, Christian Living, Religion, Cultural

Audible Audio

First published June 1, 2023

About the author

Nancy Randolph Pearcey is the Francis A. Schaeffer Scholar at the World Journalism Institute, where she teaches a worldview course based on the study guide edition of Total Truth: Liberating Christianity from Its Cultural Captivity. In 2005, Total Truth won the ECPA Gold Medallion Award in the Christianity & Society category, in addition to an Award of Merit in the Christianity Today book awards.

A former agnostic, Pearcey studied violin in Heidelberg, Germany, in the early 1970s and then traveled to Switzerland to study Christian worldview under Francis Schaeffer at L’Abri Fellowship. After graduating from Iowa State University with a Distributed Studies degree (philosophy, German, music), she earned a master’s degree in Biblical Studies from Covenant Theological Seminary in St. Louis, then pursued further graduate work in the history of philosophy at the Institute for Christian Studies in Toronto (with emphases on ancient and Reformational philosophy).

Pearcey is currently a senior fellow at the Discovery Institute, where the focus of her work is on the cultural and philosophical implications of the evolution controversy. A frequent public lecturer, Pearcey has spoken to actors and screenwriters in Hollywood; students and faculty at universities such as Dartmouth, Stanford, USC, and Princeton; scientists at national labs such as Sandia and Los Alamos; staffers at Congress and the White House; and various activist and church groups around the country, including the Heritage Foundation in Washington, D.C. She has appeared on NPR, and a lecture based on Total Truth was broadcast by C-SPAN.

She began writing in 1977 for the nationally distributed Bible-Science Newsletter, where for 13 years she wrote pioneering in-depth monthly articles on issues related to science and Christian worldview. In 1991 she became the founding editor of “BreakPoint,” a national daily radio commentary program, and continued as the program’s executive editor for nearly nine years, heading up a team of writers. Under her leadership, the program grew into an influential organ for teaching a Christian worldview perspective on current events, with an estimated weekly audience of five million. She was also policy director and senior fellow of the Wilberforce Forum, and for five years coauthored a monthly column in Christianity Today.

Pearcey has served as a visiting scholar at Biola University’s Torrey Honors Institute, managing editor of the science journal Origins & Design, an editorial board member for Salem Communications Network, and a commentator on Public Square Radio. Her articles have appeared in numerous journals and magazines, including the Washington Times, Human Events, First Things, Books & Culture, World, Pro Rege, Human Life Review, American Enterprise, The World & I, Homeschool Enrichment, Christianity Today, and the Regent University Law Review.

Pearcey has authored or contributed to several works, including The Soul of Science, which treats the history of science and Christianity, and the bestselling, award-winning How Now Shall We Live? She was invited to contribute the Foreword in The Right Questions, as well as chapters in Mere Creation, Of Pandas and People, Pro-Life Feminism, Genetic Ethics, Signs of Intelligence, Reading God’s World, Uncommon Dissent, and a Phillip Johnson Festschrift titled Darwin’s Nemesis.

Pearcey resides in Northern Virginia, where she and her husband are homeschooling the second of their two sons.

Reviews

[Samantha | samanthakreads · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5⭐️

In this thought-provoking book, Nancy R. Pearcey deep dives into the topic of Masculinity which is relevant in today’s current cultural climate. Pearcey uses a Biblical worldview mixed with historical and sociological facts plus personal stories to address this topic.

𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝:
•History behind masculinity
•Scripture references
•The significance of a Christian marriage
•Out-of-context terms
•The Role of the Church
•Importance of fatherhood
•Male abuse & ways to address it

𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬
I enjoyed Pearcey’s approach as she shows the value and importance of men, fatherhood, and the significance of masculinity. In the process, she never belittles or puts women down and she includes a discussion on male abuse, how it happens, and how the church can do better to address/prevent it. She demonstrates the beauty and value of masculinity in the way God created and intended it to be, something that shouldn’t be eliminated but honored and respected.

I liked that she showed that no one sex is superior to the other, but rather, men and women are created equal in God’s eyes while contributing their own important, distinct, and unique strengths and abilities. Pearcey stated it best, “Men and women exercise their gifts together like a violin and cello in a duet blending in harmony while maintaining their own unique tones.”

I think this an important book to read and believe anyone can get something out of it, both men and women, Christian or not. I highly recommend checking this book out!✨

[Blessing Bloodworth (naptimereaders) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book that is needed in our current culture which is doing all it can to tear down men and eliminate the beauty and value of Biblical Masculinity. It fully deserves every one of these five stars.

“What is the God-given pattern for manhood? How did Western culture lose it? And how can we recover it? That’s what this book is about.” Pearcey takes a “show, don’t tell” approach as she writes, blending “historical and sociological facts with personal stories and anecdotes”.
She has carefully crafted this book to be full of data & research & quotes from a wide array of sources. But instead of stopping with just stating them, she expertly connects them to real life experiences so the reader can relate and understand the point she is trying to convey.

She uses a biblical foundation as the strength behind her position, consistently pointing to Jesus as the chief example of manhood. Her thesis and supporting arguments are well organized, easy to follow, and richly educational as she analyzes the trend manhood has followed over the course of history.

Thank you to Baker Books and NetGalley for the complimentary ebook in exchange for an honest review. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own.

“Christianity does not strip away the virtues of boyhood—the natural drive many boys have to fight, to compete, to build forts, to win. Instead, it calls men to direct those masculine traits to fight evil, overcome sin, protect those they love, and strategize how to advance biblical truth in the world. Christianity does not suppress men’s thirst for risk and adventure but redirects it to eternal goals.”

“In today’s climate, where fathers are so often mocked and ridiculed, we need to fight to assert the dignity of fatherhood. Honoring fathers will do more than any other single strategy to prevent toxic behavior in the next generation of men.”

[George P. · Rating 4 out of 5]

For years, sociologist Michael Kimmel has asked interviewees two questions: What is a good man? And what is a real man? Answers have been consistent.

A good man is virtuous. A group of West Point cadets cited moral characteristics, such as honor, duty, integrity and sacrifice.

By contrast, the cadets listed these characteristics for a real man: toughness, strength, never showing weakness, winning at all costs, playing through pain, getting rich, and making sexual conquests.

According to Nancy R. Pearcey’s The Toxic War on Masculinity, these answers reveal two scripts for what it means to be a man today. In contemporary culture, the scripts are sharply at odds, with disastrous results.

“When separated from a moral vision of the Good Man, [men] can easily degenerate into sexism, dominance, entitlement, and contempt for those perceived as weak — traits we all can agree are toxic,” she writes.

What is needed is a revival of real good men, and Christians can play an important role in leading it.

To that end, Pearcey makes three arguments:

First, she cites sociological evidence that devout Christian men are good men. “They are more loving to their wives and more emotionally engaged with their children than any other group in America. They are the least likely to divorce, and they have the lowest levels of domestic abuse and violence,” Pearcey writes (emphasis in original).

This sociological evidence may surprise progressives who believe the biblical concepts of “headship” and “submission” are inherently oppressive. Some traditional interpretations of those may be. Studies indicate, however, that devout Christian couples tend to employ those concepts in pragmatic, functionally egalitarian ways.

Second, Pearcey mines history to show how industrialization and secularization combined to displace the good-man script with the real-man script in the American imagination.

Prior to the Industrial Revolution, families worked together in farming or a trade. Men were intimately involved with raising children, and women were actively engaged in productive labor. The household and economic activity were shared, integrated responsibilities.

The Book of Proverbs reflects a similar dynamic. Fathers instructed their children (1:8–19), and women worked various trades (31:10–31).

The Industrial Revolution moved men out of the household and into factories and offices. “This apparently simple change … had enormous social ramifications,” Pearcey writes. It separated men from familial intimacy and women from economic activity.

As industrialization separated men and women into spheres — public and private — secularization changed the way people thought about those spheres. The public sphere was secular, founded on science and administered by governments, corporations, and academia. It was masculine.

By contrast, the private sphere was spiritual, founded on religion and administered by family, church, and personal relationships. It was feminine.

As men spent less time with families, they began acting in family-unfriendly ways. A new type of “bad boy” literature came into publication that celebrated male freedom from domesticity. (Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn are some of the better-known examples.) Men did not want to be tied to women’s apron strings.

This increased pressure on women to hold the family together. Placed on a pedestal in what scholars call “the cult of domesticity,” women were increasingly thought to be inherently spiritual and moral, while men were considered barbarians who needed to be tamed.

The cult of domesticity exaggerated the goodness of women (who are sinners, after all) and the badness of men (who can be saints, after all). In some ways, it lifted the burden of moral reform off men’s shoulders and placed the entire weight on women’s. These double standards did much to poison male-female relationships.

Pearcey believes the antidote is a return to the traditional family.

“When people talk about the ‘traditional’ family … they are thinking back to the 1950s. But they should think back to the pre-industrial age … a time when both fathers and mothers combined childbearing with economically productive work[emphasis added]. Restoring stronger family ties is not some sentimental fantasy but a pressing imperative for addressing the problem of toxic behavior in men.”

Third, Pearcey deals with the problem of men who are Christian in name only. She states the problem this way: “Research has found that nominal Christian men have the highest rates of divorce and domestic violence — even higher than secular men” (emphasis in original).

To use Paul’s words, nominal Christian men have “a form of godliness” but deny its “power” (2 Timothy 3:5). Some rationalize abuse by citing concepts such as male “headship” and female “submission.” Paul was right when he warned Christians, “Have nothing to do with such people.”

On the whole, I believe Pearcey makes a reasonable case for a certain type of Christian masculinity — what I earlier called the “real good man.” She astutely avoids rigid stereotypes of masculinity and femininity, noting, “There is greater difference within the categories of men and women than there is between men and women as groups” (emphasis in original). The issue is moral virtue, not stereotyped gender roles.

The book’s most valuable point is that men and women should participate in both family formation and economic activity. Pearcey’s traditionalism is not the stereotype of male breadwinners versus female homemakers. Family and economy are shared, integrated responsibilities.

Even so, I have several reservations about the book. The title suggests it is responding to wholesale feminist critiques of masculinity. Pearcey mentions those critiques near the beginning, but that’s not her focus. A more accurate title would be How Masculinity Became Toxic and How to Detoxify It.

My biggest reservation is that the book idealizes the pre-industrial age. Family and economy may have been shared and integrated then, but men still behaved badly and women still fared poorly. It was not a golden age to which we should return. Instead, we should take its genuine insight about sharing and integration and use it to shape a better future.

Finally, the book does not address the institutional dynamics that produce abuse. Making real men good is a starting point, not to mention including more women at all levels of institutional leadership. But at some point, we must address why so many social institutions — including churches — find it difficult to rein in toxic male leaders.

We need real good men, but we also need real good institutions. Perhaps Pearcey could address that in a future book.

We need real good men, but we also need real good institutions. Perhaps Pearcey could address that in a future book.

Book Reviewed
Nancy R. Pearcey, The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2023).

P.S. This review first appeared in the summer 2023 issue of Called to Serve, the official Assemblies of God ministers letter, and will be posted online at InfluenceMagazine.com. It is posted here by permission.

P.P.S. If you like my review, please click “Helpful” on my Amazon review page.

[Laura NC · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another masterpiece by my favorite author of Christian worldview and cultural apologetics, Nancy Pearcey. I’ll pre-order and read any book she writes, but her latest is one of my very favorites. Pearcey’s personal testimony in her intro is moving and compelling. Part 1 explores the surprising sociology studies that refute negative stereotypes of Christian men. We’ve all heard the false narrative that Christian marriages end in divorce as often as Non-Christian marriages. However, compared to secular men, the data shows devout Christian family men, who attend church regularly (in contrast to Christian in name only men) are more loving fathers and husbands. They have the lowest rates of divorce. And they have the lowest rate of domestic violence of any major group in America. Part two takes the reader through history exploring how the biblical script of The Good Man gradually becomes confused by a competing secular script of The Real Man. This section of the book is extremely fascinating. Along the way Pearcey explores a variety of historical and philosophical topics like the impact of the Industrial Revolution, Social contract theory, Literary naturalism, and Social Darwinism. Part 3 discusses what happens when Christian men absorb the secular script. Anyone would benefit from reading this work. Pearcey is balanced, and she displays a scholarly, careful and thorough treatment of philosophy and history.

[Samuel G. Parkison · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was very pleased with most of this book. Some parts of Pearcey’s analysis I took issue with, but for the most part, I’m sold by her overall take. I was, however, disappointed (but not surprised, given the ubiquity of this kind of thing) when Pearcey rooted her theology of gender distinctions in a social Trinitarian understanding of God. More proof that we need more books on classical Trinitarianism to saturate the market and reshape the modern imagination to exercise the spirit of modern revisionist theology and replace it with a grander and older vision of God and creation.

[Josiah DeGraaf · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best books I've read on gender issues.

While the title of this book may make it sound like another culture war piece, this is really the corrective that's needed for the ongoing gender discussions in the Christian world. The books consist of three rather distinct parts:

- A defense of Christian marriage and biblical masculinity (where the title of the book comes from)
- A long historical overview of the various trends that divorced what it means to be a "real man" from what it means to be a "good man"--along with how these also divorced the sexes from each other (this is the bulk of the book)
- A brief addendum on how to deal with the various problems that exist when men turn toxic

There's a lot of common ground here for both the traditional complementarian and egalitarian to sign onto--along with a lot of points that may make both uncomfortable. For myself, though, this book was a pretty darn good synthesis of where my own views have come to over the past five years. And it made some rather illuminating points that helped me connect various historical movements to each other in ways that I hadn't before.

The historical analysis of this book is admittedly a bit simplified. I'm not sure that the trends are quite as "clean" as Pearcey makes them out to be. Sometimes Christian historians ignore messy side cases or cultural divides in order to broadbrush a historical time period. And I did feel like Pearcey's presentation of sociological differences between men and women over time did veer into this trap at different points. It's not that she's wholly inaccurate in her general claims. But real history is messier than Pearcey presented at points, and I suspect that avid historians would have some bones to pick with her at different points.

In many ways, this is less a book about how we should understand gender roles/relationships in Christian contexts, and more a book about how people have and do understand them (and what cultural factors have led to that). When Pearcey foraged into the "should" questions, I'm not sure they were as robust as they could have been. (To more robustly articulate what healthy biblical masculinity looks like, she'd probably need a male co-author). But I still largely agreed with her conclusions, and her perspective is quite valuable.

As a result, while this isn't the "be-all/end-all" book on these issues, it is a very good book on the subject. And one I'd highly recommend to any Christian looking to understand how toxic versions of masculinity became so prevalent--and why we can trust that the biblical picture of masculinity really is quite different.

Rating: 4.5 Stars (Excellent).

[BrontëKas · Rating 3 out of 5]

This bookclub pick sparked excellent conversation, not only with my group, but also with my husband whenever I asked his take on particular arguments in the book. It’s important to note that Pearcey is a sociologist and not a theologian. This isn’t necessarily a Biblical argument for what masculinity ought to be (though this book contains lots of Scripture), rather a tracing of what it’s meant through history and a robust picture of where we are now. Lots of helpful takeaways. Example: statistically, Bible-reading, church-attending men are the least likely demographic to abuse their wives (and in fact these are the happiest marriages and families), however nominal Christians are the most likely to be abusive because they’ve heard “headship” and “submission”, but don’t actually know what they mean. Also the Industrial Revolution ruined everything (I’m kinda kidding and kinda not about that one, but I’m not sure the author is).

Quotes:

“The fact that the early church prohibited abortion and infanticide was one reason women flocked to Christianity. Today people who oppose abortion are accused of being anti-woman. But in the ancient world, people recognized that to reject abortion is to be pro-woman. The church’s opposition to abortion and infanticide communicated that Christians cherished the female contribution in bringing new life into the world. They treated women’s uniquely female role and function with respect.”

“The point of [Titus 2:5] … is not where women should work but rather that they should get to work — that they should not be idle but industrious… the upshot is that when Paul advises women to be ‘workers at home,’ he is telling them not to be maids but managers.”

“When people talk about restoring the ‘traditional’ family, typically they are not being traditional enough.”

[Brenda Shirk · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Certainly worth your time. I've been doing a lot of thinking recently in the realms of anthropology and sociology and this book contributed to those avenues. I really appreciate her contrast of the good man( God's design) vs. the real man (society's ideals). She touches on how the industrial revolution took father's and husband's out of the home affecting the raising of boys and young men. She also pointed out that as humans we tend to fulfill the roles that are expected of us. For example, if men are "known" ( or expected) to be irresponsible and lazy or aggressive they begin to believe that is the way they are and live out of that. Very fascinating read. Especially as a woman, leaning into what it means to believe in the men around me and invite them to fulfill the role God has placed on them as men.

[Thaddeus · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was good, but felt like it was two different books smushed together. The first half was very helpful unpacking the history of how we got to the point today of the stigmatization of Masculinity. The second half read like a counselling book about the problem male abuse - a worthy topic, but felt a little weird and out of place given the thesis of the book. I wonder how different it would have been if the author paired up with a male co-author.

In any case, it brings up good points for discussion. I didn't necessarily land exactly where the author does, but found it to be a good read to get you thinking - as Pearcey's books usually are.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok I finished this gem and it wholeheartedly gets 5 ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️s. I can’t even express how well this was done. This book is so desperately needed in both Christian culture and culture at large. I have noticed so many of the issues dealt with in this book as I am growing as a Christian theologically and practically as my husband and I raise boys and can I just say she NAILS IT so well. I highly recommend and wish everyone would read this book and take it to heart. So many of these things some young parents are having to learn on their own how to be biblical and also not go to the opposite extreme of feminism into fundamentalism and legalism. I know it is a struggle for so many young men who are young fathers to find the right balances and biblical values in their lives. Overall this book was just well researched, well written and gripping. Go read it everyone!

[Jan · Rating 5 out of 5]

3/15/2024 * 4.5 - 5 stars
Excellent. This will probably be one of my top five books for 2024. In fact, I read an audio version from the library, but when the hardback edition went on sale for about 56% off I bought it so I can annotate and highlight favorite quotes. When I have some quotes written down (so much easier when copying the written words than listening to an audiobook), I'll try to remember to add some of them here.

[Aurlyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m surprised by how much I enjoyed reading this book. It comes from more of a conservative mindset (looking at the people who recommend it almost turned me off from even giving it a try - Eric Metaxis, Allie Beth Stuckey, etc) But I’m glad I read it and I actually learned a lot. Many of the books on this topic that I consume come from the more moderate to liberal end of the mindset spectrum so this really helped bounce those ideas off of something. Pearcey is well spoken and likable, she doesn’t come across as arrogant or prideful which are important things for me in whoever I’m listening to.

Content wise, here’s the main takeaway: people who hold to a more traditional mindset (“traditional” gender roles, stay at home mom responsible for character development of children, dad working and responsible for economic stability of family) are actually not traditional enough. For most of human history (until industrialization) men and women both worked together in a family run-often in home-business. They both shared parenting responsibilities, emotional and character development of children was seen as work for both parents. Pre-industrialization cookbooks and parenting books were written more towards the father than the mother, for example. Children worked the family business and so spent a lot of time with their father in apprenticeship type relationships. Women helped with the business and added to / participated in economic stability of the family and home.
Industrialization pushed fathers out of the home and competing with other men vs cultivating with their families. Bars popped up next door to factories, alcohol consumption was at its all time high of 5x what it is today. Men would leave work, get drunk and spend family money, and come home disconnected from their wife and children. Simultaneously, wives were taking on the role of teaching character and emotional intelligence to the children and this role was given extra emphasis because their economic work was removed from them when work left the home. Being kind and gentle, self controlled, empathetic - these became seen as “girly” traits and not how real men act. Rather than remind men who God made them to be, we offloaded the responsibility of reining them in to women. No wonder there is tension between the sexes…

Some helpful strategies: fight against the social norm of dads work away, moms stay at home and parent. Maybe this means fathers pursue work at home or hybrid work options. Support wives working in some capacity (assuming they want to, and Pearcey said - and I agree and find it to be true - that most women do want to work. Men and women were BOTH given the work of subduing the earth). Churches focus more on giving a vision / picture of the real man being emotionally mature and intelligent, self-controlled, empathetic, etc (essentially, like Jesus. The best man.)

Critiques: I did feel that Pearcey idealized pre-industrialization a bit in the language she used and way she spoke about it at times. Her focus was on the idea of what it means to be a man and how that has shifted and changed throughout different periods, and she does acknowledge things like slavery etc, but I wish it was more than just a side note. I think it’s easy to look back on different time periods and romanticize it in a way so I wondered at points in the book whether or not that was a factor. I also felt like a lot of the book addressed men with the assumption of marriage and children and left some questions for single men (though she did have side notes about how single men can participate - and I appreciate this -, it was still overall heavily weighted towards married men. I wish she talked at more at length about how these ideas affect single men and women and how they can participate in Godly manhood outside of marriage and children.

[Faith Olivia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Libby//

Pearcy def has some catholic tendencies and is not a theologian, but has good points.

Against her w the fathers should stay at home. Biblical fatherhood is not based on “staying at home,” but discipleship. Lots of men raise up strong sons without working from home, but they do so in their pattern of faithfulness and training in Scripture.


I think this blurred cultural norms with biblical commands at times, but reaallllly interesting perspective of how fathers should be in the home & how wives should work alongside husband in his career. Both coparenting. Cool.

“In short women suffrage represented a tragic erosion of women’s trust in men to take responsibility of the common good, specifically women’s good” good analysis on women’s suffrage.

Biblical manhood & womanhood by Grudem and Piper did a better job explaining how men and women are created differently & how men are to use their strength for good— kindve thought masculinity would be the focus here but not rlly. Grudem did a better job discussing that BUT she emphasized *responsibility* to protect the family unit & common good as the key word for manliness.


Have lots of beef with the part of submission. Submission is to listen to the husband in areas of disagreement. Author made it sound like couples rarely have to agree to disagree, but in marriage many things come up daily & I see many faithful wives submit to whatever their husband decides as the final answer. Red flag was the “soft patriarchal” term.

“how can a husband care for burdens and shepherd his wife unless he knows her deeply?” Neat section on emotional intelligence only being possible when boys grow up w fathers who are emotionally aware.

“I refuse to have a successful ministry and broken family”

Meek Jesus— FABULOUS description of meek. Choosing to not use your strength/power with utmost discipline and discernment.

Emotionally starved wives because husbands never saw how men are to love and care for wives. Wives usually match the husbands in attitude and adoration. Guys can brush off female needs as overly emotional and irrational, which brings aloofness in a marriage. Its not good for *man* to be alone, thus this isnt healthy for anyone, including men.

“Emotional abuse” is talked about through a biblical lens. Words can bring life or death, may our words bring comfort and love, not fear and sorrow. “A crushed spirit who can bear?”

Also she talks a lot about abuse in churches which can be helpful, but also abuse is found mostly in churches that cherry pick scripture & don’t practice church discipline/accountability, so the umbrella problem of abuse in churches is the watered down theology. Parts felt like a “me too” movement. There’s value in acknowledging sin in churches, but if a church has someone in leadership that isnt held accountable and known by elders, there are prob major theological issues causing a plethora of other major harmful issues. So instead of blaming the church she could’ve focused on the compromise in theology bc she acknowledged abuse is commonly found in fake christians. Which was also interesting, how men love the church bc they get a wife to submit, but theres no love for the Lord & repentance.

Disagreed on a lot of her scriptural exegesis. Seriously what denomination is she ???😆😆😆

[Brittany Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this book. Loved Part 1 and 2 of the book. Pearcey’s tracing of how history (mainly the Industrial Revolution) and scientific theories (such as Darwinism) flipped the script on what defines “masculinity” was fascinating! She does a thorough job of showing how we got from point A to point B and it is both sad/scary to see the subtle changes that led to a toxic definition of masculinity.

I didn’t love Part 3 in the book. Although abuse is certainly a problem and issue to be addressed, it felt a little out of context with where she was going with the book. I hoped the last section would focus more on what we can do as Christians and even women to help men reclaim the right masculinity. Instead it honestly came off a bit like “man bashing”. I wish she had spent less time sharing all the horrible examples of men failing at masculinity and spent more time highlighting great examples. It left the book on a sour note. Essentially take what she mentioned for two pages in the Epilogue and make that a whole chapter.

Still, I felt like the first two parts are such a necessary read for this generation. It made me think long and hard even about how we’re raising our son.

[Jeremy]

WORLD comments here. This review addresses some limitations of the book.

[Brittany Lee Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

So, so good. So needed. I pray we all heed it.

[Thomas Bassett · Rating 5 out of 5]

In 2022, I was blessed with the opportunity to undertake a course taught by Nancy R. Pearcey centered on the developing manuscript for her new book The Toxic War On Masculinity. As is the case with all her work, it is magnificent and cuts to the heart of things. Scholarly and comprehensive, she gives much needed clarity, shedding light on surprising facts about the history of concepts of masculinity, showing how the predominating ethos for manhood in the western world degenerated so badly and carving a road for the recovery of a healthy, biblical masculinity.

In Part One, Pearcey sheds light on the impirical studies of evangelical Christian families that have, until now, been hidden away in the sociological journals. Surprising as it may seem to the secular world at large, sociological studies find that men who practice a God-centered, biblical conception of masculinity test out as the most loving and engaged husbands and fathers. Furthermore, they have the lowest rates of divorce and domestic violence of any group in America. Our culture desperately needs men who understand that the family has transcendent value; men who understand that their strength is given to them in order to take care of, provide for, protect, serve and lead their families in submission to Christ. The Christian worldview gives men a powerful incentive to reject toxic conceptions of masculinity rooted in dominance and misogyny and instead embrace a masculine ethos rooted in familialism.

In Part Two, Pearcey takes readers on a sweeping journey through American history. This comprises most of the book, and it is utterly brilliant! This is a one of a kind, wholly unique literary work. The history uncovered in these pages will be surprising and new to most readers because very few books have been written about the history of concepts of masculinity. I was amazed to learn just how much the West has absorbed negative assumptions about masculinity rooted in 19th century secular thinking (Darwinism/Social Contract Theory) and the fragmenting impact that the Industrial Revolution had on the family and male identity. In a similar vein to Pearcey's book Saving Leonardo, The Toxic War On Masculinity is full of pictures and classic artwork that brings the content to life and makes it tangible. This book is an engaging visual journey through history, weaving together data, philosophy, theology and classical literature. A rare and invaluable form of historical analysis, The Toxic War On Masculinity is a shining beacon of intellectual integrity and true scholarship.

In Part Three, Pearcey addresses domestic violence. Relying on contemporary research undertaken by prominent sociologists, Pearcey gives an unbiased overview of domestic abuse today. Honest and raw, she minces no words in showing just how desperate the problem of abuse has become. Weaving together sociological studies, anecdotes, theological insight and her own personal story with abuse, Pearcey makes the compelling, imaginable and persuasive case that Christianity has the tangible power to overcome toxic behaviour in men and heal abuse in families. The Toxic War On Masculinity lays bare the core of the domestic violence issue: The problem isn't masculinity but rather a toxic conception of mascuinity that has been decoupled from virtue. Abuse is so prevalent today because many men have accepted an unhealthy, truncated view of manhood rooted in secular thinking. The Toxic War On Masculinity reintroduces to this lost culture a form of masculinity rooted in chivalry, virtue and honour. It carves a pathway to recovering a masculine ethos linked to the true, the good and the beautiful.

For me, the big takeaway from this book is that contrary to today's narrow, truncated and oftentimes demeaning assumptions about masculinity, it is not toxic, let alone synonymous with immorality. Biblical masculinity is inherently good and synonymous with virtue. We should be grateful for Christ-like men, for it is in the figure of Jesus Christ where we find the true embodiment of masculinity as God designed it. A book has finally been written that roots masculinity in the 'right worldview' as the great theologian Francis Shaeffer would say.

The world has never been more misled about what it means to be a man. Christians and non-Christians alike should read, study and master this book. It truly is the best and most important book on the subject of masculinity ever written.

"Men do not find their true self by escaping from relationships and riding off into the sunset like a lone ranger.

They find their authentic manhood in their core relationships: to God, their wife, their children, their extended family." - Nancy Pearcey

[Jennifer DeFrates · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nancy Pearcey has done it again! She has written another must read book for people curious about the intersection of history, sociology, and faith. She is an absolute treasure! The Toxic War on Masculinity takes history and makes it come alive with rich narratives and human anecdotes. Pearcey traces historical movements and their effects on our culture and understanding of home, work, and gender roles.

Ms. Pearcey begins the book with a powerful introduction detailing her personal experience with a toxic man, her own father. Her brief story helps us understand that this book does not come from a place of Pollyanna-like ignorance of the horrors of unchecked toxic male behavior. In fact, her past caused her to toss aside patriarchal beliefs and pursue the radical feminism of the 70s for a time.
But in the end, she found that the fault lay not with masculinity, but with sinful men who lived outside God’s plan for manhood. Real masculinity is beautiful, and this new book aims to show us why we need to stop belittling men and encourage them to live in Godly masculinity.

Before delving into the history, Pearcey begins with the shocking news that, statistically, the most loving and engaged husbands and fathers are devout Christians who attend church regularly. After scouring scholarly research on this issue, Mrs. Pearcey was encouraged to find that devout Christian men aren’t the close-minded, violent dictators portrayed by the media, but loving and engaged husbands and fathers, while nominal Christian men actually have the highest rates of divorce and domestic violence. (p 37) The confusion about Christian men comes from a failure to separate real believers from tangential, cultural Christians. She deftly portrays the difference between those who know Christ and those who merely know how to use the language to manipulate and control.

After outlining all of the historical and cultural movements that led us to how we think today about gender roles and masculinity, Pearcey spends some serious time dealing with how we can fix what has gone wrong in our culture and what we should do about men who are truly toxic. She leaves us feeling like we can start to recognize how we've conditioned both boys and girls to accept less than God's best plan for the partnership of marriage and take steps to heal what has been broken in our boys.

This book should be mandatory reading for all parents, pastors, and professors. We need to change the script we are teaching our boys. They can be manly men by being fathers, protectors, and leaders. They don't have to buy the message our American culture is selling.

[Amy Edwards · Rating 5 out of 5]

Earlier today I wrote a scathing review of a book on masculinity called It’s Good to Be a Man. But this book by Nancy Pearcey is excellent—well-reasoned, deeply researched, theologically sound. Pearcey helps us understand historically how we got to a place where men today are beaten-down and devalued by “feminists” even when “feminists” themselves devalue a core part of being a woman, motherhood. After giving readers a vision for a healthy and biblical understanding of the roles of men and women, Pearcey gives readers a crucial historical overview. She concludes with suggestions on how we might overcome the cultural forces working against men and women as they form families and seek to honor God in their relationships.

My pastor recommended this book and I’m so thankful he did. It’s very good.

[Olivia Dirkse · Rating 5 out of 5]

wow. phenomenal book.

i rarely give out 5 stars but this book is deserving of such praise.

if you have talked to me between the days of july 22 and july 25 (while i was reading it), you should not be surprised by this rating. somehow every conversation i have been in this past week has presented an opportunity for me to rave about this book.

in the end, it makes me all the more thankful for a church that encourages Biblical masculinity and men who rightly exemplify it.

thanks jt for the recommendation!

this was an amazing book. you should be reading it at this very moment. go do that.

[LeahBethany · Rating 4 out of 5]

The Toxic War on Masculinity made me pause and think and I found myself discussing topics from the book with my husband, my parents and my friends. The author did a really great job in researching the historical sociology of American culture and its idea of a good man and how that idea has become warped.

[John A. Steadman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably in my top 5 books. Such a good comprehensive discussion of what is wrong with secular masculinity, what true biblical masculinity should look like, the history of family dynamics in America, and the problems in the church of male dominance and oppression of their families and how it should be addressed.

[Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This first read of Nancy's writing was absolutely fascinating! As a mother of 3 boys and 3 girls, I am extremely interested in the messaging they receive about masculinity. The historical development in America that shaped family life and manhood caused great personal reflection on my own husband, father, and grandfathers. We can't progress forward if we don't understand the past and apply Scripture to our difficulties. I recommend this to pastors, men and fathers, mothers of sons, and everybody else.

[Rachel Mayes Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Despite its provocative title, this book is incredibly balanced and thoughtful in its perspective masculinity. Pearcey weaves together history, social science, and religious philosophy to paint a portrait of what men are and what they ought to be. An absolutely excellent book.

[Alex · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a Christian, wife, and mom to boys, I was really looking to this book. Unfortunately, I am disappointed that this book is not what I was expecting. I’m giving it three stars because parts one and three did contain some relevant and useful information.

First, I noted that the author’s writing made a number of sweeping generalizations (that weren’t substantiated by the evidence) and seemed to be heavily influenced by her own opinions instead of letting the research speak for itself. It’s like she doesn’t know that a secular worldview existed long before the Industrial Revolution or that men have been interested in sex since the beginning of time or that there are many men who, even though they go to church every Sunday, abuse their wives and children regularly. I disagree with some of her conclusions simply because either the historical evidence truly doesn’t support them or the logical development seems off.

Second, the over-romanticization of the Colonial Era and over-criticizing of the Industrial Revolution were so very annoying and, frankly, seemed irrelevant to much of the actual argument.

Third, the book is extremely America-centered (sometimes British as well) which was surprising, in part because thousands of years of history occurred before the founding of America, and men lived in those societies as well. It was also punctuated with long descriptions of evangelical Christianity, which was helpful to me as a believer, but seemed only loosely related to the actual topic of masculinity.

I was expecting a much more academic approach than what was presented. I wished that the author had discussed the multiple waves of feminism in more detail, which would have given more perspective to the main topic. I also wished she had discussed the passivity of Adam during the temptation of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. This is a clear representation of something going wrong with masculinity.

Two quotes I want to call out as being particularly troublesome:
“It is crucial not to equate men’s sin with their essential nature.” - On a few different occasions, it seems that the author rejects the doctrines of original sin and total depravity.
“Jesus was the ultimate man made in the image of God, the imago dei.” - Jesus wasn’t made, and he isn’t in the image of God. He IS God. Even while he was a man on earth, he was also God at the same time.

Finally, I think the best move the book makes is to go back to the creation mandate given by God in Genesis, and if the author had spent more time there then on belaboring the Industrial Revolution, the book might have been much better. Instead, her focus on men in the home (such as the Colonial Era) limits men who may never marry and/or never have children. Her focus on America limits the beauty of masculinity portrayed across all of the cultures God created. And her focus on the evils of the Industrial Revolution limits even good jobs and occupations as somehow not being good enough because it means men aren’t at home.

I’m glad I read parts one and three, although I don’t agree with everything written in those sections, but I could have done without part two. I found that the book wasn’t as powerful and didn’t resonate as much with me as I had hoped it would.

[David Beal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read advanced copy. Thought provoking, and challenging.

[C.H. Cobb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nancy Pearcey is one of the premier Christian thinkers of the modern age. At one time a student of Francis Schaeffer, she has extended and elucidated the thought of Schaeffer into the current cultural morass, particularly Schaeffer’s analysis of the secular idea of upper- versus lower-story truth. Also like Schaeffer, she does an excellent job of tracing the evolution of cultural trends through history, providing numerous footnotes—no less than 775 in The Toxic War on Masculinity. This excellent volume demonstrates that she does not shrink back from confronting both secular and Christian cultures with the sharp edge of her intellect.

Pearcey begins with full disclosure as to why she wrote the book. Her father lived two different lives: in public a respected university professor and in private an angry, abusive father. After initially rejecting Christianity because of her father’s hypocrisy, a sojourn at L’Abri showed her what true Christianity looks like, resulting in her conversion to genuine Christianity. The book serves as her way of tracing the cultural and psychological factors that produced an abusive man like her father and the current broad-brushed societal tendency to attribute such bad behavior to all men.

Chapter one is devoted to exploring where the modern culture is with regard to its view of men. Pearcey brings forward a contrast she’ll use in the rest of the book: “real men” versus “good men.” So-called real men kowtow to twisted cultural expectations of men (such as the expectation and encouragement of bad behavior), whereas good men pursue the best and most noble aspects of masculinity.

Exploding the myths begins in the second chapter, in which she quotes suprising statistics regarding men and abuse and divorce. Pearcey examines the studies more closely and reveals that while nominal Christian men score in the highest category of abuse—which is what is usually reported in the media—committed evangelical Christian men actually score in the lowest (which you will never see in the media).

In the third chapter, Pearcey unfolds what a truly biblical marriage looks like, along with biblical concepts of headship and submission. She demonstrates that it doesn’t look anything like the slanderous stereotypes of the secular culture.

The second part of the book (nine chapters) traces “how the secular script turned toxic.” In these lavishly-documented chapters, Pearcey follows the progression—and destruction—of family life from the original agricultural model of every family member working together at home, through the Industrial Revolution that took men out of the home, thus weakening or eliminating the father’s beneficial influence. The absence of fathers (who were now working long hours in the factories) meant that they were not home to teach their sons skills and moral discipline and to mold them into responsible men. Absence from home and hearth left men open to temptations (particularly illicit sex and alcoholism) that before had been under better control. Men began behaving badly with the result that, comparatively, women were placed on a moral pedestal of righteousness. Men behaving badly, i.e. “real men,” became the expectation and somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Men lost interest in attending church, with the result that most of the attenders in the average church were women.

Pearcey points out that one of the consequences of this terrible trajectory is that Christianity came to be seen as a religion of women. Men wanted nothing to do with it because it seemed feminized. The image of the “real man” became stamped in the culture; the “good man” was something no self-respecting man wanted to be part of.

In chapter ten, Pearcey examines the reaction against feminized Christianity that developed in some quarters. A so-called “muscular Christianity” was promoted in order to redeem “manliness.” Churches began to host events of interest to men (fight clubs, gun giveaways, etc.) in an attempt to draw men back into the sanctuary. Fundamentalism got involved, with macho preachers engaging in violent antics on stage to assert that Christianity was for real men. Just as a pendulum that swings in one direction soon returns to the other, this began a backlash against women. Whereas in the 19th century women were thought of as superior, in the 20th century they began to be thought of as inferior—weak creatures whose primary responsibilities were bearing children and being subservient to their husbands.

Secular culture rejected the polarizing fundamentalism. In chapter eleven, Pearcey unfolds the path that led to men (dads in particular) being presented by Hollywood as dimwits. Feminists poured gasoline on the fire: “men are unnecessary,” they claimed. Out of the resentment that developed on the male side came the playboy and pornography culture.

It’s easy to critique culture—but advocating solutions is harder. Nancy Pearcey does a great job on the solution side in chapter twelve, entitled “Bringing Fathers Back: Fix the Workplace, Fix Your Family.” She gives many creative ways to bring the unity of the home, father and mother together, back to the fore.

The third section of the book is basic triage: how to fix the problems that develop when “Christian Men Absorb the Secular Script.” Two excellent chapters are devoted to fixing broken marriages and dealing with abuse in Christian homes.

Pearcey is the real deal: a Christian and biblical thinker, a scholar, and one who has suffered under an abusive father. She brings her intellect, her scholarship, her faith, and her experience to the table and shares it with the reader. The book includes a study guide at the end, suitable for individuals or groups. Nancy Pearcey’s The Toxic War on Masculinity is an outstanding book and well worth your time.

Five stars—highly recommended.

[Paul Tautges · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nancy Pearcey, former feminist and agnostic, has written another brilliant book. From sociological and historical studies, Nancy shatters the false narrative of the proud Real Man. In contrast, she presents an exalted vision of womanhood and a renewed vision of manhood, which is best reflected in the humble Good Man.

[Avery Amstutz · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is a mixed bag, longer review forthcoming. I’d give it 2.5 if I could.

[Susan Leonard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Blaise Pascal once said, “Men despise religion. They hate it and are afraid it may be true. The cure for this is first to show that religion is not contrary to reason, but worthy of reverence and respect. Next make it attractive, make good men wish it were true, and then show that it is. Worthy of reverence because it really understands human nature. Attractive because it promises true good.” (Blaise Pascal, Pensées, New York: Penguin, 1966, 34).

This is what Pearcey accomplishes in The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes. Pearcey shows evangelical Christianity is rational, ‘worthy of respect,’ and she “shows it” by citing non-Christian data from the social sciences. While some egalitarian detractors will focus on the first few chapters as an endorsement for complementarianism where Pearcey cites data that shows that committed evangelical Christian men prove to be the most loving husbands and engaged fathers, Peacey neither endorses nor challenges complementarianism. Rather, Pearcey cites empirical data on actual behavior, e.g., how evangelical men actually behave, which nullifies the use of the terms `”complementarian” and “egalitarian” altogether. Pearcey focuses squarely on the biblical vision of manhood as the antidote to the poison of toxic masculinity. Moreover, in Chapter 13, Pearcey says, “Oppressive men may distort Scripture to justify [abuse]. They read Scripture through a secular lens of male superiority and dominance absorbed from the secular script for men.”

Critics may argue male authority generally leads to the oppression of women, but the data from the social sciences proves otherwise. Brad Wilcox writes in the New York Times, “It turns out that the happiest of all wives in America are religious conservatives. . . . Fully 73 percent of wives who hold conservative gender values and attend religious services regularly with their husbands have high-quality marriages.” Pearcey cites the use of the sociological term “emotion work” as a more valid measure of behavior. She says, “This term encompasses virtually everything husbands do to build their relationship with their wives—to express affection, be aware of their needs, take their views into account, bond over shared interests, and share quality time together.” She says, “Wilcox and Nock found that a man’s emotion work “is the most crucial determinant of women’s marital quality.” Pearcey concludes: “And who tests out as doing the most ‘emotion work?’ Again, the answer is theologically conservative Christian men. Because they hold a high view of marriage and family, they invest more in their marriage, and their wives test out highest in marital happiness.”

Rather than focus on terminology that divides (use of the term “complementarian,” Nancy writes, began in the 1960s, and gained prominence with the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW) in 1987), we should focus on behavior and where it might unites us. When we do this, we find stunning results. Committed Christian men who rate high on ‘emotion work’ contribute the emotional glue so needed today that holds families together. In our post-industrial age where “other forms of interdependence” that held families together are “gone,” it is committed, Christian men who interpret the biblical view of manhood from within the lens of a biblical worldview: men made in the image of a Good and Loving Creator. Writes Pearcey, “A biblical worldview tells us that men were originally created to live by the ideal of the Good Man, exercising traits such as honor, courage, fidelity, and self-control. A healthy society is one that teaches and encourages a God-centered view of masculinity.”

This book is “worthy of reverence,” to quote Pascal again, because Pearcey understands human nature, as defined by the Creator Himself. Her book “promises true good” to all who read it. One caution: You may find, as I did, if you read with an open mind that you yourself succumbed to the secular script more than a biblical one. But, that’s the whole point and the genius of Pearcey’s impressive work.