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Published January 1, 2023
**"I've had it, Joy. Not with you being mad at me because I acted like an asshole, but because I'm tired of the way you see yourself. And I know I added to that, but trust me when I tell you that the stupid, thoughtless actions of mine do not reflect how I see you. They reflect the stupidity of a man who couldn't help going where he shouldn't have with you because I was fucking gone for you the minute you smiled at me, and then I went along with stupid things to make sure you didn't lose your job and Trixie didn't fucking rat us out to Beard. I made all the wrong choices. I hurt you. But I want to be perfectly fucking clear that the way you see yourself is not how I see you at all, and I'll be damned if I don't set the record straight right now."**
**"I think you're the most beautiful woman, inside and out, that I've ever known. The way you notice people and help them amazes me, Joy. You raised your little brother, you work hard as hell at your job, you're working to improve your life and I respect every fucking thing about you. So, I understand your anger, I deserve it, but don't tell me how I see you or feel about you because your version of reality isn't even close to mine."**
**"I'll do everything I can to make you believe me because I love you, Joy. No one else has ever heard those words from me. Not my parents, not my brother, no one. Until you. And I get it if you can't believe me, if you don't believe me, but I know how I feel." He loved me? "You sure have a funny way of showing it." "I know I failed, and I did everything wrong, Joy. I'm not denying anything I did that was wrong and hurtful to you. And even though I don't know the first thing about love, I do know I want to start getting it right. I've been trying to get it right for months because all I want to do is spend the rest of my life by your side." "Atlas, I was falling in love with you." "And then I ruined it." Regret made him sound sad, defeated. Had he? Had he completely ruined it? I didn't know how to answer that, so I said nothing. "Joy," he said, the regret morphing into determination, "I'm going to bring back your feelings for me. I'm going to show you that I love you and you're safe with me."**
**"You hurt me, Kit. I've been hurt a lot, but nobody's ever hurt me like you did." "I know I did, Joy, and it about kills me. I'm sorry." "The thing is, I can understand you were trying, in your own way, to protect me. But what you did made me think you didn't have any compassion. It was needlessly cruel." "Joy --" I interrupted him. "But I also know that you've been doing everything you can to make it right. Showing me you learned from your mistakes, and I don't think you'd ever treat me or anyone like that again." "No. I wouldn't." "People hurt other people all the time and they just go on, not really caring that they hurt someone. They don't apologize or even care what they've done. It doesn't bother them. But what you did bothered you." "Hurting you gutted me." His voice was raw with shame. "I believe you."**