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Published January 1, 2023
"This is my room, " Lucio explained. "Not yours. You're not to come in here ever. I'll come to your room when I want you. You're in the east wing." "Well, I thought you'd want me in here since it's our wedding night." My voice came out snippier than I wanted. He reached a hand out and pulled a redhead over to stand next to him. She'd obviously been standing in the hallway, just outside of the doorway, out of my line of sight. Cheap trash, I thought with contempt... "I have Chiara for our wedding night. I'm not interested in amateur hour with you at this time." Then he pressed an open-mouthed kiss to her lips, and looked back at me, daring me to say a word, daring me to not be a well-bred, submissive, obedient girl of the Body. That kiss had been nothing like the one he'd pressed to my lips earlier. Mine had been like pee-wee football and hers had been like the Super Bowl.
"I'm a little concerned your face is so red, Lucio. Should we do some deep breathing for a minute? Breathe in...two...three...four. Now release..." "Quit messing with me, Ginevra. Tell me the motherfucking truth right now! " "Lucio, it doesn't really matter nowadays. I'm really good with role playing, and if you want to do an innocent virgin scene, I'm totally on board. I'll swoon when you whip out your throbbing dick and then gasp as I timidly wonder out loud how in the world your ginormous manhood will ever fit through the door of my tiny house of virtue. I'll even say ouch if you want, maybe squeeze out some tears you can wipe tenderly away before you declare your never-ending love for me."
"You gave what was mine to another man?" I thought he'd yell it, but his voice was lethally soft. "I'll take stupid things men from another century say for five hundred, Alex." "Ginevra!" he thundered. There we go. That was what I wanted. Total loss of control. "Or possibly hypocritical, double standards for a thousand." "That's enough!" he shouted. "Lucio, first, you do realize this isn't the eighteen hundreds, right? Second of all, I'm in the prime of my life and you seriously thought I'd pine away for you with my legs tightly closed, getting all flustered at the thought of you maybe, possibly someday finding me and deflowering me as I coo and blush? But, if it makes you feel better, to honor our wedding night that wasn't, I always made sure to have an anniversary fuck to recall that special, special night that you spent with Chiara instead of me. How is Chiara, by the way?" I smiled huge and gave him a little wink. "You had no right!" he yelled at me. "No right to sleep with another man --" "Uh, men." "What?" he hissed. "Men. Plural," I clarified. "As in, more than one." The duh was implied. "There was more than one?"
"Has something happened?" I guessed. His head whipped up at that, his eyes pinning me in place. "Yes, Janie, something happened. I found you in the middle of nowhere with a gun trained on you because you've been trying to take down a trafficking ring. You've been working on this on your own for five years, Janie. Five fucking years. Had you told me, had you come to me, we could have put all of the Body's resources into taking this ring down. Cleaned it up. But you didn't. You didn't come to me to ask for my help." In three strides, he was right in front of me, looking down into my upturned face, his brown eyes filled with violent storms. "And you didn't ask me for help because I made it so you couldn't. You couldn't come to me because of what I'd done to you, because of the way I treated you. Because I hurt you, Ginevra, because I was so busy teaching you a motherfucking lesson that you didn't deserve to be taught, because my needs mattered more than your pain and grief for your papa, you couldn't come to the one man you should have been able to ask for help. Me. Both as your husband and as the Head of the Body, I let you down in every way I could and the repercussions were astronomical and you almost paid the price for that tonight."
"Can you ever forgive me, Ginevra?" Wasn't that the question? "Could you forgive me? Could you forgive me bringing another man into our home on our wedding night and telling you to go away? Could you forgive me for fucking another man on our wedding night? Could you?" "I'd kill him," Lucio said evenly, his eyes steady on mine. "But I could forgive you for anything, Ginevra." Impossible as it seemed, Lucio was telling the truth on that, and it felt like my heart stuttered in my chest. "What you did hurt me, Lucio. Not just a little hurt, but the kind of hurt that's buried in your skin and you can't get it out no matter how hard you try." He just watched me. Waiting. Not apologizing again because he already had and that was astounding in itself because this was a man who believed apologies didn't really change anything.
I'd stolen the possibility of a husband and a family she'd needed from her. With one brief, heartless act, I'd devastated my young, grieving bride. I should have been there for her, and I hadn't been. I would give up being Head if I could go back and handle our wedding night the way I should have, with compassion and care. I would have protected my bride instead of slapping her down.
"You'd agree to a divorce?" "If that's what you want." "You'd divorce me and let me go?" "I'd divorce you...but I'd work my ass off to win you back. No blood-signed Note of Promise between a sixteen-year-old-girl and a twenty-one year old man this time. Just two adults, one who knows exactly what he wants and knows he'd never do anything to hurt his woman again or jeopardize his relationship with her." "You said you'd never divorce me." What the hell was going on with my mouth? This was so unexpected I was beginning to sound like a broken record. "If it was up to me, I wouldn't. But this is the latest in a long line of lessons you've been teaching me, Ginevra." "Lessons?" Why couldn't I speak full and complete sentences? Why was the unexpectedness of this conversation robbing me of all brain function? "Lessons," he affirmed, then started ticking them off. "There's much more to her than meets the eye. Be aware of what's going on around you, especially if it's right under your nose. Never underestimate anyone, but especially not her. A bold, brave spirit doesn't mean she can't be hurt. Take everything you were taught about women and throw it all away because she's teaching you an entirely new reality. Treat her with respect and care. Learn how to love her the way she needs. The queen is the most powerful piece on the board for a reason."
"But more than what I hope for the Body is what I hope for us. Just you and me, our private lives. I want to be married to my best friend, my lover, my partner in everything. Maybe we have children, maybe we don't, but if we do, it's because we both want a family and not because I need an heir to someday take over as Head." He pressed a kiss to my lips, a gentle, sweet one that seemed so out of character for the rough-around-the-edges man he was. "Dario taught me that love made a man weak, Janie. That a woman made you soft and took away your edge. But he was wrong because all you've done is made me better and stronger."
"The thing is, Lucio, we could get divorced. For a long time I thought I wanted a divorce, especially since you said you wouldn't give me one. I thought I needed one because of what you'd done on our wedding night. But then I really started thinking that I wasn't the same person I was that night at all. I was different. And...if I could be different, maybe you could be, too. I don't have the monopoly on change." I'd never seen Lucio so still. "And I thought our marriage is kind of like we are. Imperfect, filled with pain at the start, betrayal, but underneath all of it is something worth salvaging because of the people we've become. If you were the same man you were back then, no way in hell I'd go there again. But I don't believe you are. I know you would never cheat on me again because that's not you anymore." "Never," he said, and it was a vow. "We've both seen and done a lot of horrible things, Lucio. We know life can be ugly. But we also know that's not all there is to it. So I'm ready to move forward together if you are." "I'm all in, little ghost. This is what I want for all of the Body children, Ginevra. And for us. The chance to fall in love and choose. And I choose you because you rule my heart."


