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How to Heal After Narcissistic Abuse: A Practical Guide to Dismantling Shame, Healing Trauma, and Thriving After Toxic Relationships
Reclaim ownership of your life, heal your inner child, and learn to thrive beyond narcissistic abuse with the guidance of trauma-informed coach and somatic therapist Caroline Strawson.
How to Heal After Narcissistic Abuse will support you to release inner shame, heal at a deep nervous system level, and reconnect with your true self. This book integrates trauma-informed practices with positive psychology to educate and inspire you to heal from trauma, turn pain into purpose, and step into your strength. You will
How to Heal After Narcissistic Abuse is a practical toolkit full of education, inspiration, and hope. It will remind you that you have the power to successfully process and integrate your experience into your own powerful story of personal growth and resiliency.
How to Heal After Narcissistic Abuse will support you to release inner shame, heal at a deep nervous system level, and reconnect with your true self. This book integrates trauma-informed practices with positive psychology to educate and inspire you to heal from trauma, turn pain into purpose, and step into your strength. You will
How to Heal After Narcissistic Abuse is a practical toolkit full of education, inspiration, and hope. It will remind you that you have the power to successfully process and integrate your experience into your own powerful story of personal growth and resiliency.
272 pages, Paperback
Published July 16, 2024
83 people are currently reading
131 people want to read
About the author
Caroline Strawson
7 books6 followersCaroline Strawson is a bestselling author, international, and multi-award winning Trauma Informed therapist and coach specialising in healing narcissistic trauma. She is widely regarded as an expert in her field and has appeared on the national news, BBC Radio, national newspapers, and magazines and appeared on multiple global podcasts.
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Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews
August 24, 2024
I was majorly disappointed by this book. Strap in for lots of thoughts. I am often recommending books to clients and had high hopes for this due to the trauma informed approach and the inclusion of a lot of the theories and exercises I love both personally and professionally. However, I found the explanations incredibly lacking and at times misleading or confusing. Some parts were just blatantly wrong or even harmful. Ie. the idea that you can counteract being triggered with being grateful - teaching those leaving abusive relationships not to trust their feelings of danger is dangerous advice.
Especially frustrating was the lack of real scientific explanation, that I know exists and I have seen done well in countless other books meant for lay people. This books relies a lot on 'trust me, I'm proof' without explaining the science or giving examples of clients these have worked for, which we are to assume do exist. For example, when she says that 'when traumatic growth happens, trauma is unlikely to happen again' - theres simply no citations or explanations for this grand claim!
Whilst there is some explanation of the nervous system and dysregulation post trauma, there is absolutely no discussion of titration (I tell a lie, it is mentioned once, with no explanation) and how vital it is to avoid healing modalities that push you out of your window of tolerance. She encourages practices that have a large potential to be deeply overwhelming, like writing down every single traumatic thing that has ever happened to you, or journalling through strong reactions or emotions. Blindly encouraging emotional release and catharsis (well known to be unhelpful and often retraumatising!) with no mention of emotional safety is so dangerous. It's surprising that this is consistently done so poorly throughout the book when there is a whole section on nervous system regulation.
On the flip side of this incredible lack of explanation, is the amount real estate that is dedicated to incredibly simple and repetitive advice like 'get enough sleep and eat well', or how to set SMART goals, that is far too generalised to be helpful, and that isn't novel to pretty much anyone. Who doesn't know that you should stay hydrated? Did it need to be said?
She has tried to fit FAR too much into one book. By trying to be a jack of all trades she has proven herself a master of none, and sadly created a book that is of very little value. It's a worse version of better books, cut up and squished into one book where none are afforded the time or attention they need to be understood and to add value to peoples lives.
There are definitely some good exercises included in this book, but I do not believe it is worth sitting through the rest of it to get to them. I read this book as I thought it would be incredible to have something I could recommend that would replace the multiple books I usually recommend, with the bonus of introductory exercises for each. At the end of this book I can confirm I am 1000% going to continue to recommend multiple books over this one. I feel sad because this really had the potential to be life changing, and I loved the concept of it.
Especially frustrating was the lack of real scientific explanation, that I know exists and I have seen done well in countless other books meant for lay people. This books relies a lot on 'trust me, I'm proof' without explaining the science or giving examples of clients these have worked for, which we are to assume do exist. For example, when she says that 'when traumatic growth happens, trauma is unlikely to happen again' - theres simply no citations or explanations for this grand claim!
Whilst there is some explanation of the nervous system and dysregulation post trauma, there is absolutely no discussion of titration (I tell a lie, it is mentioned once, with no explanation) and how vital it is to avoid healing modalities that push you out of your window of tolerance. She encourages practices that have a large potential to be deeply overwhelming, like writing down every single traumatic thing that has ever happened to you, or journalling through strong reactions or emotions. Blindly encouraging emotional release and catharsis (well known to be unhelpful and often retraumatising!) with no mention of emotional safety is so dangerous. It's surprising that this is consistently done so poorly throughout the book when there is a whole section on nervous system regulation.
On the flip side of this incredible lack of explanation, is the amount real estate that is dedicated to incredibly simple and repetitive advice like 'get enough sleep and eat well', or how to set SMART goals, that is far too generalised to be helpful, and that isn't novel to pretty much anyone. Who doesn't know that you should stay hydrated? Did it need to be said?
She has tried to fit FAR too much into one book. By trying to be a jack of all trades she has proven herself a master of none, and sadly created a book that is of very little value. It's a worse version of better books, cut up and squished into one book where none are afforded the time or attention they need to be understood and to add value to peoples lives.
There are definitely some good exercises included in this book, but I do not believe it is worth sitting through the rest of it to get to them. I read this book as I thought it would be incredible to have something I could recommend that would replace the multiple books I usually recommend, with the bonus of introductory exercises for each. At the end of this book I can confirm I am 1000% going to continue to recommend multiple books over this one. I feel sad because this really had the potential to be life changing, and I loved the concept of it.
May 21, 2025
I'm not a psychiatrist, and I believe we need to move away from casually pathologizing people. That said, this book—alongside therapy—helped me better understand the impact that narcissistic traits can have on those who experience them. It sheds light on how subtle gaslighting and chronic invalidation can slowly distort your sense of self, or how quickly love bombing can sweep you into an emotional whirlwind. These behaviors don’t necessarily make someone a narcissist, but they can deeply disorient and erode your mental well-being.
I found the author’s personal story compelling. I admire how she transformed her pain into purpose. Quick and easy read.
I found the author’s personal story compelling. I admire how she transformed her pain into purpose. Quick and easy read.
July 14, 2024
LOVED the first 2 chapters. Some of it was quite repetitive but v insightful read! Defo recommend
July 21, 2024
Caroline Strawson’s book is one of the most updated, comprehensive and holistic guides on healing from narcissistic abuse.
I was ecstatic to see how she wrote in detail and depth about the importance of using mind-body & nervous system healing therapies and not just positive psychology as most books on the topic do.
She shares a whole bunch of somatic exercises and nervous system tools for recovery.
She’s also written in detail about positive psychology and how it can help. However, she prudently emphasises that mind-body healing work precedes positive psychology work.
It’s encouraging how she gently yet emphatically makes you understand that it’s for you to take charge of your healing. And then helps you with it. This helps develop compassion and forgiveness towards yourself and the other, while honouring your intuition and boundaries.
I loved that she shows how you can reinvent and birth a new life as you heal from narcissistic abuse and the associated trauma.
She holds your hand and guides you through the entire process of recognising, acknowledging and healing the abuse to starting a new life in alignment with your values. She helps you create a beautiful life aligned with your values, getting a sharper idea of who you are and a better understanding of your purpose.
I especially like that Caroline has cited sources and references in detail. I like that she’s been upfront about saying that the healing process is challenging, while it’s absolutely possible to heal. She also encourages one to take professional support at various points. At one point she’s candid in saying that “post-traumatic growth is not a linear process and may not happen for all narcissistic abuse survivors.” Love her candour and transparency. Being a narcissist abuse survivor herself, Caroline brings her nuanced understanding of the topic and a pathway to healing that’s clear and convincing.
This book is a must-read. Not to be missed!
I was ecstatic to see how she wrote in detail and depth about the importance of using mind-body & nervous system healing therapies and not just positive psychology as most books on the topic do.
She shares a whole bunch of somatic exercises and nervous system tools for recovery.
She’s also written in detail about positive psychology and how it can help. However, she prudently emphasises that mind-body healing work precedes positive psychology work.
It’s encouraging how she gently yet emphatically makes you understand that it’s for you to take charge of your healing. And then helps you with it. This helps develop compassion and forgiveness towards yourself and the other, while honouring your intuition and boundaries.
I loved that she shows how you can reinvent and birth a new life as you heal from narcissistic abuse and the associated trauma.
She holds your hand and guides you through the entire process of recognising, acknowledging and healing the abuse to starting a new life in alignment with your values. She helps you create a beautiful life aligned with your values, getting a sharper idea of who you are and a better understanding of your purpose.
I especially like that Caroline has cited sources and references in detail. I like that she’s been upfront about saying that the healing process is challenging, while it’s absolutely possible to heal. She also encourages one to take professional support at various points. At one point she’s candid in saying that “post-traumatic growth is not a linear process and may not happen for all narcissistic abuse survivors.” Love her candour and transparency. Being a narcissist abuse survivor herself, Caroline brings her nuanced understanding of the topic and a pathway to healing that’s clear and convincing.
This book is a must-read. Not to be missed!
February 9, 2025
This blew me away. Sometimes books like this can feel tedious or overwhelming but this had the perfect amount of explanation with SO MANY practical tools. Great for those who have been through a relationship like this, for therapists (me!) or for any person wanting to understand themselves better…. the exercises especially at the beginning are so helpful.
October 24, 2025
Way too many exercises and tips crammed in with no realistic way to slowly implement. It’s as very overwhelming doing back to back exercises. Hard to read for that reason. As soon as I start to learn one I’m reading about another one.
January 13, 2025
I think a ton of people could benefit from this book in their self growth journey!
April 3, 2025
s/o to my therapist for this one 🫡
January 14, 2026
Combination of reassurance, practical strategies to deal with the aftermath, and how to move forward with new knowledge.
Displaying 1 - 9 of 9 reviews