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Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink
From a #1 Apple podcast host, Lambda Literary fellow, and former dominatrix, a sex-positive, judgement-free cultural deep-dive into the world of kink. When BDSM educator and former dominatrix Tina Horn first launched Why Are People Into That?!, publications from Esquire and Guardian to Vice, Bustle, Buzzfeed, and beyond heralded the undertaking as one of the best podcasts about sex. Each episode centered around a different aspect of kink, erotic fantasy, and human sexuality, thoughtfully and non-judgmentally examining why, exactly, different strokes work for different folks. From sex workers and scientists to artists, writers, and porn stars, Tina’s wide range of guests helped educate fascinated listeners across the world on the wide spectrum of humanity’s sexual appetite. But for every episode she released, with every guest expert she interviewed, she found her listeners more and more insatiable--and she soon realized that the only way to really address the titular question with all the depth and nuance it deserved was to turn that idea into a book. From spanking, bondage, and financial domination, to the most taboo fantasies involving cake, chains, and cannibalism, WHY ARE PEOPLE INTO THAT? explores the universal human drives that shape even the most specific erotic tastes, and the cultural context that molds and is molded by the way we conceptualize sex, pleasure, gender, fantasy, and power. Along the way, Tina invites us to reconsider everything we thought we knew about sex and sexuality. How, for example, should we think about "consensual nonconsent" in a post-#MeToo era? How does cross-dressing, as a sexual fantasy, fit in with our evolving cultural understanding of gender performance and identity? And what do foot fetishists, furries, and “femdoms” have in common? Blending insightful cultural criticism, investigative journalism, psychology, and spicy anecdotes from Tina’s 15+ years of hard-earned expertise in the sex industry and beyond, WHY ARE PEOPLE INTO THAT? is a philosophical-but-fun exploration of the prismatic spectrum of human desire and the expansive possibilities of pleasure. For readers of books like Kink and Sex at Dawn, this raunchy and rousing book is perfect for anyone who is interested not only in the intricacies of what we desire, but in how desire itself really works.
311 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 4, 2024
101 people are currently reading
4139 people want to read
About the author
Tina Horn
26 books128 followersTina Horn is a writer, teacher, and media-maker. She produces and hosts the sexuality podcast Why Are People Into That?!. Her first book, Love Not Given Lightly, is a collection of nonfiction stories about sex workers; she has also been published in Vice, Nerve, Girl Sex 101, and Best Sex Writing 2015. Tina’s workshops on dirty talk, sex worker self care, and spanking have been featured at Good Vibrations, Armory Studios, Lesbian Sex Mafia, International Ms Leather, the New School, and the Feminist Porn Conference. She is a LAMBDA Literary Fellow, has won two Feminist Porn Awards, and holds an MFA in Creative Nonfiction Writing from Sarah Lawrence. Born in Northern California, Tina now lives in Manhattan.
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June 21, 2024Very good overview of kink for people interested in getting into it and also for kinky autistics who need to know ✨why✨
May 14, 2024
I'm disappointed.
The title gives "evidence based", but this felt much more "from experience". Those aren't mutually exclusive, sure. But I just can't get over how much this felt like a memoir with some facts vs "a cultural investigation".
About halfway through I noticed I was forcing myself to keep reading.
Tina Horn's honesty is refreshing and really helps shed light on an (annoyingly) taboo subject. So maybe I'm hung up because of the title? This had so much potential.
(Thank you NetGalley & publisher for ALC!)
The title gives "evidence based", but this felt much more "from experience". Those aren't mutually exclusive, sure. But I just can't get over how much this felt like a memoir with some facts vs "a cultural investigation".
About halfway through I noticed I was forcing myself to keep reading.
Tina Horn's honesty is refreshing and really helps shed light on an (annoyingly) taboo subject. So maybe I'm hung up because of the title? This had so much potential.
(Thank you NetGalley & publisher for ALC!)
March 4, 2024
“Who benefits from teaching us to repress ourselves?”
An articulate, informative, and fun look at the world of kink. Tina offers up insight on everything from spanking and fauxcest, to foot worship and bimbofication. Referencing Cormac McCarthy, Dune, and Blue Velvet, reading this felt like getting advice from that really cool aunt/sister/peer who manages to not make you feel dirty or weird for asking if she’s ever done (fill in the blank).
An articulate, informative, and fun look at the world of kink. Tina offers up insight on everything from spanking and fauxcest, to foot worship and bimbofication. Referencing Cormac McCarthy, Dune, and Blue Velvet, reading this felt like getting advice from that really cool aunt/sister/peer who manages to not make you feel dirty or weird for asking if she’s ever done (fill in the blank).
May 12, 2024
Where to start… I was super excited to read this, my friend who ordered the ARC for me was super excited for me to read this. I love learning about how people work, especially when it comes to sex and sexuality. Sadly, this book fell completely flat for me. The title, in my opinion, prepares you for a book that this just isn’t. Instead of a studious, deep-dive into kinks, Why Are People Into That? is primarily about the author’s feelings and relationship towards certain kinks. While backed up with plenty of anecdotal evidence and other books, there’s a significant lack of the sort of scientific data I was expecting. The book does finally find its stride in the last third, after the “Sploshing” chapter, but still has moments where the writing feels disjointed and tangential. There were several moments where I felt the author made general statements for communities they aren’t a part of, as well as felt that there was a constant insistence on reclaiming certain words that are used derogatorily. While not what I was expecting, I do believe that with some edits and a different title, this book would entertain and provide an interesting introduction to kink.
August 29, 2024
This book it's not an investigation and it's not a cultural one. It just uses pop culture as a bibliography. That's what pisses me off the most, the author never gives proof for what she's saying. Not even polls, or expert commentary, just pure opinion, and personal experience. When I stumbled upon the book, I was excited to know about the sociology behind kink. While reading it I discovered that it wasn't written by a sociologist or scientist, it was written by a Dominatrix. That also made me feel excited because it's first-hand knowledge. However, the rest of the book was more than disappointing.
She tries to make kink seem more important or necessary for society than it actually is, involving politics in it. She argues that most fetishes thrive because it's a space where oppressed people find power. For example, it's mentioned that the financial domination fetish is a way of reparation for black women, also that it empowers women in our oppressed society. But I think most of her points are far-fetched. She goes from point A (a specific fetish) to point B (a positive social impact that the fetish makes) with no proof or even mental exercises. Every chapter of the book is like that, and she makes the same point over and over again. She wants us to believe that fetishes are not rooted in anything else than a need for liberation from our oppressive world. Sure, these fantasies help us cope with injustice, but going from that to calling it social justice is giving it too much credit. It's not my place to say if findom is a reparation for black people, but I think it just makes them feel relieved that they have the power for once. It's like she's trying to sell us a product, which in this case is fetishes.
This leads me to my second point: this book feels more like a PR effort to market fetishes as something fun, necessary, and free of criticism. It's a way of portraying kink and fetishes with a rose-tinted lens. I understand that she's tired of the immense oppression all sex workers suffer from in our whore-phobic society and that she wants us to look at her job as something appetizing, but she does it in a deceiving way. She never addresses the dark side of kink, only briefly mentions that she immediately disregards as discrimination. Science is only present when it's convenient to explain why kink is good, never to be seen again. In the first chapter, she directly says that she is not interested in the scientific roots of kink, because scientists are bad people for considering fetishes a sexual deviation, like girl??? It was her job to put her biases aside and do actual research on the scientific roots of fetishes. Sure, it's messed up that everything that seems abnormal is pathologized, but a book of this kind must provide all sorts of evidence. Because she never does, this book should be considered a memoir instead of an essay. Or at least a personal essay, but calling it a cultural "investigation" of kink? That's clickbait.
And the problem with all of this is that she's trying so hard to make kink seem like fun. Just fun, no dark side, and no negative effects. When she talks about people with fetishes literally harassing other people who never consented, she blames us for oppressing people with fetishes to the point of hiding their true identity. The argument is that we must normalize fetishes so people who do terrible things to other people to satisfy their fantasies stop doing so, and that's just wrong. You can't defend that type of behavior by saying that our apprehension of fetishists is discrimination. Also, a lot of her arguments worried me because they can be used to defend ped*philia. And I know, that's the old-time argument everyone makes in this situation, but seriously "As soon as a sexual practice is defined as sick, you can count on proud sickos thriving in opposition." Do you think this is the best way to approach the topic? Because she is very proud of being a pervert and a sicko when it's convenient. I understand she never defended anything illegal, but Lord was she close. She twists the narrative of a questionable fetish to make it seem like it's actually an empowering and soothing practice. Like when she says "With refreshing rudeness, the material girl tells the viewer she is going to use his credit card for whatever she wants, the more frivolous, the better. She is free from the social constraints of being polite, indulging in the very same entitlement that men often take for granted" when she talks about the cash fetish. She basically said like "Oh, sure, many of the finsubs went bankrupt and some other people were scammed, but what you don't understand is that this is a really feminist practice". Also, she never addresses the mental health issues that practicing a fetish might carry, because again, she only uses science when she pleases. Because again, she's trying to sell a positive-only idea of kink.
The prose is bleak, she uses too many movies to explain things, the chapters are repetitive because she makes the same argument non-stop, she makes terrible analogies, and ultimately, she defends things that I don't believe are okay, but whatever. I'm tired, this book broke me for real.
She tries to make kink seem more important or necessary for society than it actually is, involving politics in it. She argues that most fetishes thrive because it's a space where oppressed people find power. For example, it's mentioned that the financial domination fetish is a way of reparation for black women, also that it empowers women in our oppressed society. But I think most of her points are far-fetched. She goes from point A (a specific fetish) to point B (a positive social impact that the fetish makes) with no proof or even mental exercises. Every chapter of the book is like that, and she makes the same point over and over again. She wants us to believe that fetishes are not rooted in anything else than a need for liberation from our oppressive world. Sure, these fantasies help us cope with injustice, but going from that to calling it social justice is giving it too much credit. It's not my place to say if findom is a reparation for black people, but I think it just makes them feel relieved that they have the power for once. It's like she's trying to sell us a product, which in this case is fetishes.
This leads me to my second point: this book feels more like a PR effort to market fetishes as something fun, necessary, and free of criticism. It's a way of portraying kink and fetishes with a rose-tinted lens. I understand that she's tired of the immense oppression all sex workers suffer from in our whore-phobic society and that she wants us to look at her job as something appetizing, but she does it in a deceiving way. She never addresses the dark side of kink, only briefly mentions that she immediately disregards as discrimination. Science is only present when it's convenient to explain why kink is good, never to be seen again. In the first chapter, she directly says that she is not interested in the scientific roots of kink, because scientists are bad people for considering fetishes a sexual deviation, like girl??? It was her job to put her biases aside and do actual research on the scientific roots of fetishes. Sure, it's messed up that everything that seems abnormal is pathologized, but a book of this kind must provide all sorts of evidence. Because she never does, this book should be considered a memoir instead of an essay. Or at least a personal essay, but calling it a cultural "investigation" of kink? That's clickbait.
And the problem with all of this is that she's trying so hard to make kink seem like fun. Just fun, no dark side, and no negative effects. When she talks about people with fetishes literally harassing other people who never consented, she blames us for oppressing people with fetishes to the point of hiding their true identity. The argument is that we must normalize fetishes so people who do terrible things to other people to satisfy their fantasies stop doing so, and that's just wrong. You can't defend that type of behavior by saying that our apprehension of fetishists is discrimination. Also, a lot of her arguments worried me because they can be used to defend ped*philia. And I know, that's the old-time argument everyone makes in this situation, but seriously "As soon as a sexual practice is defined as sick, you can count on proud sickos thriving in opposition." Do you think this is the best way to approach the topic? Because she is very proud of being a pervert and a sicko when it's convenient. I understand she never defended anything illegal, but Lord was she close. She twists the narrative of a questionable fetish to make it seem like it's actually an empowering and soothing practice. Like when she says "With refreshing rudeness, the material girl tells the viewer she is going to use his credit card for whatever she wants, the more frivolous, the better. She is free from the social constraints of being polite, indulging in the very same entitlement that men often take for granted" when she talks about the cash fetish. She basically said like "Oh, sure, many of the finsubs went bankrupt and some other people were scammed, but what you don't understand is that this is a really feminist practice". Also, she never addresses the mental health issues that practicing a fetish might carry, because again, she only uses science when she pleases. Because again, she's trying to sell a positive-only idea of kink.
The prose is bleak, she uses too many movies to explain things, the chapters are repetitive because she makes the same argument non-stop, she makes terrible analogies, and ultimately, she defends things that I don't believe are okay, but whatever. I'm tired, this book broke me for real.
May 8, 2024
3.75✨
This is a NetGalley arc review – thank you as always to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for these opportunities!
Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink is actually my first ever nonfiction arc request, so I didn’t have much hope for an approval, but to my surprise I was approved pretty fast, and was excited to check it out!
Author Tina Horn, a former dominatrix, is no stranger to the industry of sex, nor to the medias that seek to encapsulate (and normalize) it; along with other books, Horn produces and hosts a sexuality podcast called Why Are People Into That?!, which in turn serves as the basis to Horn’s latest same name book release.
Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink is self-described as “a sex-positive, judgement-free cultural deep-dive into the world of kink” and while most of that is true, I will make a note that the book only covers ~9 areas of kink or sexual preferences, corresponding to chapter, so I wouldn’t necessarily consider it a complete deep dive. You also should consider that much of the content that fills these chapters are coming from the author’s own experiences with or perceiving them, versus a full historical literature study of these areas. Which isn’t a bad thing, necessarily. Horn is an immensely rich resource in this arena, and her perspectives are both comprehensive and interesting, but in terms of nonfiction, it translates into a more memoir or personal essay style of book, versus research-driven documentary.
The kink areas consist of:
Feet
Spanking
Consensual Nonconsensual
Fisting
Cash
Cannibalism
Sploshing
Bimbofication
Orgies
Some of these I had heard of, one or two I enjoy in my romance books, and some I heard for the first time reading this. Each chapter offered different insights, whether from the author’s own experiences, as a participant or viewer, experiences of others, or gleaned from other modern works in this genre, but at its core, Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink is an open and free space to explore sex, kink, love, and gender, and how they can all interconnect; whether from a perspective of self-reflection, or simply to gain a better understanding on how people different from you live. Horn is also particularly cognizant of the experiences of women and marginalized communities in these areas.
It took me a few chapters to really get into the flow of reading Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink. The first few chapters struggled a bit with maintaining momentum; a topic, like the chapter topic, would be introduced, but instead of getting to the topic, there would be paragraphs of tangent into other somewhat unrelated topics, before moving back into the main discussion. This went on for the first few chapters, so it felt a little less solid structurally as a book; however, Horn seemed to hit her groove after those first few chapters.
There were also numerous instances of editorial mistakes like typos or missing spaces between words, so this could probably use one more good look before official publication.
To end, I would recommend Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink to anyone with an interest in learning more about the kink community and all its nuances and facets – Horn is a great, first-hand resource for this – or any reader who likes nonfiction-adjacent type books with a topic that is maybe new to them!
This is a NetGalley arc review – thank you as always to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for these opportunities!
Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink is actually my first ever nonfiction arc request, so I didn’t have much hope for an approval, but to my surprise I was approved pretty fast, and was excited to check it out!
Author Tina Horn, a former dominatrix, is no stranger to the industry of sex, nor to the medias that seek to encapsulate (and normalize) it; along with other books, Horn produces and hosts a sexuality podcast called Why Are People Into That?!, which in turn serves as the basis to Horn’s latest same name book release.
Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink is self-described as “a sex-positive, judgement-free cultural deep-dive into the world of kink” and while most of that is true, I will make a note that the book only covers ~9 areas of kink or sexual preferences, corresponding to chapter, so I wouldn’t necessarily consider it a complete deep dive. You also should consider that much of the content that fills these chapters are coming from the author’s own experiences with or perceiving them, versus a full historical literature study of these areas. Which isn’t a bad thing, necessarily. Horn is an immensely rich resource in this arena, and her perspectives are both comprehensive and interesting, but in terms of nonfiction, it translates into a more memoir or personal essay style of book, versus research-driven documentary.
The kink areas consist of:
Feet
Spanking
Consensual Nonconsensual
Fisting
Cash
Cannibalism
Sploshing
Bimbofication
Orgies
Some of these I had heard of, one or two I enjoy in my romance books, and some I heard for the first time reading this. Each chapter offered different insights, whether from the author’s own experiences, as a participant or viewer, experiences of others, or gleaned from other modern works in this genre, but at its core, Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink is an open and free space to explore sex, kink, love, and gender, and how they can all interconnect; whether from a perspective of self-reflection, or simply to gain a better understanding on how people different from you live. Horn is also particularly cognizant of the experiences of women and marginalized communities in these areas.
It took me a few chapters to really get into the flow of reading Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink. The first few chapters struggled a bit with maintaining momentum; a topic, like the chapter topic, would be introduced, but instead of getting to the topic, there would be paragraphs of tangent into other somewhat unrelated topics, before moving back into the main discussion. This went on for the first few chapters, so it felt a little less solid structurally as a book; however, Horn seemed to hit her groove after those first few chapters.
There were also numerous instances of editorial mistakes like typos or missing spaces between words, so this could probably use one more good look before official publication.
To end, I would recommend Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink to anyone with an interest in learning more about the kink community and all its nuances and facets – Horn is a great, first-hand resource for this – or any reader who likes nonfiction-adjacent type books with a topic that is maybe new to them!
May 24, 2024
The ever-astute Tina Horn has written a jaw-droppingly brilliant analysis of why certain kinks resonate with so many people, from sadomasochism to sex parties to sploshing. Her voice is sharp, incisive, lush, and clearly informed by many years of field research in and out of the dungeon.
This volume boldly flies in the face of puritanical, homophobic, anti-feminist and anti-porn critics who insist that female submission is inherently disempowering (nope), that anal penetration makes you gay (nah), or that consensual age play between adults is pedophilia (it sure isn't!). This book was the antidote I needed to our current moment in culture where puritanism is being rebranded as feminist (which – didn't they try that already, like 50 years ago?! It was bad then and it's bad now!). Tina makes queer leather history accessible and digestible, and draws clear lines from its roots to where we are today – both as a celebration of how far we've come, and as a warning about the vile, bigoted conservatism our world can all too easily backslide into at any time.
One of the magical things about Tina's work is that she makes it possible to understand and relate to people whose kinks may differ dramatically from your own. I hope many, many people read this book, not least because it might just help them understand that even people with far "weirder" or more "extreme" kinks than their own are still human, and are still seeking deeply human things: connection, validation, pleasure. This book is a big tent and Tina welcomes in anyone who's willing to set aside their sexphobic, kinkphobic, whorephobic, homophobic and transphobic biases to see kink as the beautiful, world-expanding paradigm that it is.
This volume boldly flies in the face of puritanical, homophobic, anti-feminist and anti-porn critics who insist that female submission is inherently disempowering (nope), that anal penetration makes you gay (nah), or that consensual age play between adults is pedophilia (it sure isn't!). This book was the antidote I needed to our current moment in culture where puritanism is being rebranded as feminist (which – didn't they try that already, like 50 years ago?! It was bad then and it's bad now!). Tina makes queer leather history accessible and digestible, and draws clear lines from its roots to where we are today – both as a celebration of how far we've come, and as a warning about the vile, bigoted conservatism our world can all too easily backslide into at any time.
One of the magical things about Tina's work is that she makes it possible to understand and relate to people whose kinks may differ dramatically from your own. I hope many, many people read this book, not least because it might just help them understand that even people with far "weirder" or more "extreme" kinks than their own are still human, and are still seeking deeply human things: connection, validation, pleasure. This book is a big tent and Tina welcomes in anyone who's willing to set aside their sexphobic, kinkphobic, whorephobic, homophobic and transphobic biases to see kink as the beautiful, world-expanding paradigm that it is.
March 19, 2024
ARC for review. To be published June 4, 2024.
Well, it’s exactly what it sounds like, an exploration of why people are attracted to specific erotic tastes, from spanking to orgies. No judgment here. Really, none. The author is a sex worker and has seen/done nearly everything.
The book started as a podcast that is, sadly, on hiatus after advertisers pulled out in the wake of COVID and while the book is interesting, it can only cover a few topics, while a podcast, well, sky’s the limit, and one could have experts for each. I’m guessing it was really interesting. And sometimes the book got a little dry. Do you see what I did there?
Overall, a general theme is that people like what they are told or think is taboo, or they like things when there is some obstacle in the way of having them. And that’s very general, but there’s seems to be a bit of those things in each of the topics covered here. I was just disappointed there was nothing on Furries. What’s the deal with Furries? If you think you might like this book you probably will find you liked it OK.
Well, it’s exactly what it sounds like, an exploration of why people are attracted to specific erotic tastes, from spanking to orgies. No judgment here. Really, none. The author is a sex worker and has seen/done nearly everything.
The book started as a podcast that is, sadly, on hiatus after advertisers pulled out in the wake of COVID and while the book is interesting, it can only cover a few topics, while a podcast, well, sky’s the limit, and one could have experts for each. I’m guessing it was really interesting. And sometimes the book got a little dry. Do you see what I did there?
Overall, a general theme is that people like what they are told or think is taboo, or they like things when there is some obstacle in the way of having them. And that’s very general, but there’s seems to be a bit of those things in each of the topics covered here. I was just disappointed there was nothing on Furries. What’s the deal with Furries? If you think you might like this book you probably will find you liked it OK.
September 24, 2024
It should be illegal to write a boring book about kinky sex. The subtitle of this book should really be "My Journey Through the World of Kink" because the author does nothing but relay anecdotes and naval gaze, all from a strictly cis-fem-queer perspective. Even the kinks she spotlights are rather esoteric, which is saying a lot within the context of kink. This book is yet another example of someone confusing experience with expertise. Feel free to skip this book and go in search of your own kink.
January 27, 2025
u know what it opened my mind maybe ill stop kinkshaming
August 11, 2025
Like a breath of fresh air. Queer AF. Political in the best way. Frank and nonjudgmental. Made me think and feel seen at the same time.
April 30, 2024
I wanted to love this book, and ultimately it fell flat.
The good bits: The author is clearly a connoisseur of the art of sex, and has a deep appreciation for the many forms it takes. I wholeheartedly agree that we should be less judgy of what happens in other people's bedrooms. She made a strong case for not moralizing the proclivities of consenting adults, but I was an easy sell.
What left me wanting was the structure and topic choices. Each chapter has a headliner topic and then bunny trails into various iterations of that theme. Horn covered topics that she personally enjoys and one that she's not so much into. I wanted a more colorful exploration of the kink - she barely touched on furries, anal probing, and role play. I can't remember a single mention of handcuffs! I wanted a psychological or anthropological study on kink, or maybe even a how-to manual. I'm not sure what I ended up with but it felt like essays on the author's preferred sexual activities.
Ultimately, I'm still left wondering why people are into that. So high five for tackling the taboos and teaching me some new terms (muffing anyone?), and consider cutting the personal stories, adding graphics (when necessary), and including more of the mainstream kink that we are all too ashamed to admit knowing about.
The good bits: The author is clearly a connoisseur of the art of sex, and has a deep appreciation for the many forms it takes. I wholeheartedly agree that we should be less judgy of what happens in other people's bedrooms. She made a strong case for not moralizing the proclivities of consenting adults, but I was an easy sell.
What left me wanting was the structure and topic choices. Each chapter has a headliner topic and then bunny trails into various iterations of that theme. Horn covered topics that she personally enjoys and one that she's not so much into. I wanted a more colorful exploration of the kink - she barely touched on furries, anal probing, and role play. I can't remember a single mention of handcuffs! I wanted a psychological or anthropological study on kink, or maybe even a how-to manual. I'm not sure what I ended up with but it felt like essays on the author's preferred sexual activities.
Ultimately, I'm still left wondering why people are into that. So high five for tackling the taboos and teaching me some new terms (muffing anyone?), and consider cutting the personal stories, adding graphics (when necessary), and including more of the mainstream kink that we are all too ashamed to admit knowing about.
October 16, 2024
A fascinating look at kink and human sexuality as a whole, with many deep dives into kinks I knew about but didn't understand (feet), had never heard of in my life (sploshing), and in fact have myself (buy me dinner first) infused with stories from the author's own life, which itself was very interesting to read about. Definitely recommend!
August 22, 2024
The experience of listening to this book read by the author was a Gosh darn delight!
I love books BY kinky people about kink. There is definitely a level difference between folks who think about sex academically and folks who think about sex as part of their own practice and life. Even things that don't particularly turn them on.
There were several chapters in this book that I thought I would have zero interest in (feet/findom/sploshing/bimbofication, to name a few), but I was determined to listen with an open mind, following the kinky creed of "don't yuck someone's yum".
Tina Horn managed, in every case, to use the header topic as a framework to explore other related ideas and practices that absolutely piqued my interest and kept my attention. When the chapter about bimbofication led to a discussion of Leather Daddies, for example, I had to put down the weedwhacker (I was listening while doing yardwork) and rewind.
I love the conversational tone of this work and reading and the way she uses personal experiences as a path toward exploration. I'm not sure the "Why???" Question is ever really answered, but I'm not sure that it needs to be. People like what they like, and so long as consent is at the forefront, people should be free to get as freaky as they want without worrying about why.
I laughed a lot while listening to this book (kink is as fun as it is serious!) , but I laughed the loudest when she was talking about swinging and group sex using "Stevie and Lindsey and Christine and John" as her example couples. A glorious GenX Easter egg.
I also want to give thanks for introducing me to the concept of
Circlusion---mind blowing to have a word to put to the feeling. Many, many stars and thumbs up.
I love books BY kinky people about kink. There is definitely a level difference between folks who think about sex academically and folks who think about sex as part of their own practice and life. Even things that don't particularly turn them on.
There were several chapters in this book that I thought I would have zero interest in (feet/findom/sploshing/bimbofication, to name a few), but I was determined to listen with an open mind, following the kinky creed of "don't yuck someone's yum".
Tina Horn managed, in every case, to use the header topic as a framework to explore other related ideas and practices that absolutely piqued my interest and kept my attention. When the chapter about bimbofication led to a discussion of Leather Daddies, for example, I had to put down the weedwhacker (I was listening while doing yardwork) and rewind.
I love the conversational tone of this work and reading and the way she uses personal experiences as a path toward exploration. I'm not sure the "Why???" Question is ever really answered, but I'm not sure that it needs to be. People like what they like, and so long as consent is at the forefront, people should be free to get as freaky as they want without worrying about why.
I laughed a lot while listening to this book (kink is as fun as it is serious!) , but I laughed the loudest when she was talking about swinging and group sex using "Stevie and Lindsey and Christine and John" as her example couples. A glorious GenX Easter egg.
I also want to give thanks for introducing me to the concept of
Circlusion---mind blowing to have a word to put to the feeling. Many, many stars and thumbs up.
February 8, 2025
I don't read a lot of non-fiction. It's a personal failing of mine I'm always trying to fix but usually ends in a DNF and frustration. So believe me when I say that this had me hooked the entire time. The author approaches the whole book with a personal knowledge and passion that is brilliantly engaging. I would read a dozen more of these, and I believe that she has the personal experience and love of the subject to dive into a million different subjects that weren't covered here.
Any time the subject of sex is tackled it comes with a sense of taboo and humor, but from page one it really cultivates this energy of -- as the kids say -- we listen and we don't judge. I appreciated that the author even included a topic that she says personally doesn't get and finds kind of a turn off. It just further emphasizes this overall thesis that understanding doesn't always mean appreciation but we should all strive to educate ourselves.
Anyway death to purity culture, let people live and love, and seriously everyone should read at least the cannibalism chapter.
Any time the subject of sex is tackled it comes with a sense of taboo and humor, but from page one it really cultivates this energy of -- as the kids say -- we listen and we don't judge. I appreciated that the author even included a topic that she says personally doesn't get and finds kind of a turn off. It just further emphasizes this overall thesis that understanding doesn't always mean appreciation but we should all strive to educate ourselves.
Anyway death to purity culture, let people live and love, and seriously everyone should read at least the cannibalism chapter.
May 27, 2025
Pretty damn delightful. There were, as there should have been, things that made me squirmingly uncomfortable to think about, and things that had me nodding along, and lots of interesting thoughts from every perspective on all kinds of perversion, fantasy and practice. I hope she follows it up with more, because there is always more.
November 16, 2024
I probably should have done a bit more research on this book before checking it out. I was hoping for an anthropological answer to the titular question, rather than a psychological one. Many of the chapters focused on how kink can be explored ethically, or why one shouldn’t feel embarrassed about one’s interests. The question of why certain desires exist in the first place is more of a secondary topic. Still interesting though!
June 11, 2024
so sorry to tina horn, i wasn't familiar with your game or your podcast, but i think that i may have to indulge.
i picked this one up because i read Transland: Consent, Kink, and Pleasure as part of the LAMBDA award nominees this year and the dissection of various kinks and what people get out of them was interesting to me. neurospiciness means i'm on a neverending and exhaustive journey to comprehend new things about myself and about human nature.
a mystifying kink that's much displayed in pop media is "daddy" kink. i don't get it. i also have never understood the much criticized/disliked "mommy" kink and i had wondered if the reasons behind that were related to us living in a culture that both centers cis male pleasure and demeans cis women for theirs while also refusing to acknowledge people outside of the gender binary.
so anyway, i landed here.
this book isn't a comprehensive text about every single fetish (though frankly, i'd love to see a follow-up book that explores other fetishes, too). a lot of this book works to dismantle ideas that we have about desire and how we think about sex and goes into detail about how certain fetishes that we may not understand (consensual non-consent) can help prepare us for fears and societal constructs that we face on a daily basis. things like misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, etc.
i consider myself a pretty progressive person, but this book taught me a lot about ingrained ideas that i've needed to deconstruct. weird to say i loved the chapter on foot fetishes - but somehow, the idea that a fetishist could have a fetish and still want other things didn't really occur to me until i read it on page. the chapter on bimbofication taught me that though it may seem anti-feminist, what people get out of it is release from having to uphold our own genders when often so many of us don't fit within the binary and living day to day is to live in constant subversion of what society considers "normal".
the best chapter for me was about findom (financial domination). i absolutely loved reading about black sex workers using this kink as a way to within a dom/sub arrangement, temporarily feel soothes from the trauma of day to day oppression AND using the acts as opportunities to educate white cis male submissives about anti-racism. that makes me so excited to try to hunt down some nonfiction about kink intersecting with people of different races, backgrounds, genders, and sexualities.
anyway, this was a thoughtful, interesting book and was great for those trying to unfuck the ideas that society keeps trying to hammer into us.
i picked this one up because i read Transland: Consent, Kink, and Pleasure as part of the LAMBDA award nominees this year and the dissection of various kinks and what people get out of them was interesting to me. neurospiciness means i'm on a neverending and exhaustive journey to comprehend new things about myself and about human nature.
a mystifying kink that's much displayed in pop media is "daddy" kink. i don't get it. i also have never understood the much criticized/disliked "mommy" kink and i had wondered if the reasons behind that were related to us living in a culture that both centers cis male pleasure and demeans cis women for theirs while also refusing to acknowledge people outside of the gender binary.
so anyway, i landed here.
this book isn't a comprehensive text about every single fetish (though frankly, i'd love to see a follow-up book that explores other fetishes, too). a lot of this book works to dismantle ideas that we have about desire and how we think about sex and goes into detail about how certain fetishes that we may not understand (consensual non-consent) can help prepare us for fears and societal constructs that we face on a daily basis. things like misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, etc.
i consider myself a pretty progressive person, but this book taught me a lot about ingrained ideas that i've needed to deconstruct. weird to say i loved the chapter on foot fetishes - but somehow, the idea that a fetishist could have a fetish and still want other things didn't really occur to me until i read it on page. the chapter on bimbofication taught me that though it may seem anti-feminist, what people get out of it is release from having to uphold our own genders when often so many of us don't fit within the binary and living day to day is to live in constant subversion of what society considers "normal".
the best chapter for me was about findom (financial domination). i absolutely loved reading about black sex workers using this kink as a way to within a dom/sub arrangement, temporarily feel soothes from the trauma of day to day oppression AND using the acts as opportunities to educate white cis male submissives about anti-racism. that makes me so excited to try to hunt down some nonfiction about kink intersecting with people of different races, backgrounds, genders, and sexualities.
anyway, this was a thoughtful, interesting book and was great for those trying to unfuck the ideas that society keeps trying to hammer into us.
Read
March 20, 2024dnf for now for strictly weird personal reasons do not take that as a knock on the book
May 16, 2024
Whatever you think of the topic (and there are, to be sure, some shocking things in here) this book is thoroughly supported by research, more than 20 years' experience, and the authors anecdotes. It is a surprisingly thoughtful and persuasive book. If the reader only comes away with greater compassion or understanding of other people then this book deserves to be read. I was highly impressed by the authors intelligence and writing style.
May 9, 2024
Thank you to Hachette Books for the ARC of Why Are People Into That? A Cultural Investigation of Kink via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Written by Tina Horn and based on her popular podcast, Why Are People Into That?!, this book takes us into the world of kink, sexual preferences, and the Why of what sparks interest, desire and need. Based primarily on Horn’s expansive history and experience, each chapter dives into different kinks to add to the dialogue around them, and bring more understanding and nuance to a busy conversation, easily misunderstood. I came into the book completely unfamiliar with Tina Horn’s history, and learned as much about her as the topics being discussed.
Horn knows what she’s talking about, but in some ways this book was unexpected, relying most on those first-hand anecdotes and personal experiences. It was a welcoming and judgment free space and something different. My first foray into non-fiction was successful. For some, Why Are People Into That? might help them understand parts of themselves they’ve yet to fully explore; for others, it’s a fascinating study of human nature. It won’t be for everyone, but it will be for many, and for those it has a vastly important job: to make people feel less alone, to educate, and above all else, to normalize.
Written by Tina Horn and based on her popular podcast, Why Are People Into That?!, this book takes us into the world of kink, sexual preferences, and the Why of what sparks interest, desire and need. Based primarily on Horn’s expansive history and experience, each chapter dives into different kinks to add to the dialogue around them, and bring more understanding and nuance to a busy conversation, easily misunderstood. I came into the book completely unfamiliar with Tina Horn’s history, and learned as much about her as the topics being discussed.
Horn knows what she’s talking about, but in some ways this book was unexpected, relying most on those first-hand anecdotes and personal experiences. It was a welcoming and judgment free space and something different. My first foray into non-fiction was successful. For some, Why Are People Into That? might help them understand parts of themselves they’ve yet to fully explore; for others, it’s a fascinating study of human nature. It won’t be for everyone, but it will be for many, and for those it has a vastly important job: to make people feel less alone, to educate, and above all else, to normalize.
April 25, 2024
I requested this title on a whim, out of sheer curiosity - it definitely piques one. Sex and kink are often wrapped in layers of taboo and mystery lots of people want to unravel.
Where the book succeeded is talking non-judgementally about various kinks without trying to scandalize or sensationalize them. It covers a wide range of subjects from common kinks like foot fetish to more obscure subjects like bimboification to even controversial subjects like cannibalism that I feel is gaining popularity in horror and literary fiction, but is it really something people enact in real life like age play or consensual non-consent? I feel the selection of kinks debated was fairly narrow and arbitrary, for example the was no chapter about bondage, edging or furries - and probably many other kinks I'm not aware of.
The chapters about various kinks are informative but felt a bit repetitive to me. While it was great to bring up various anecdotes, quotes and examples, I often felt like the author was hammering the point way too much. In the end, I felt the discussion was exhaustive, but not super deep, mostly talking about 2 biggest motivations for kinks: taboo / forbidden fruit factor and "letting go" (of responsibility, of shame, of control, of your every-day persona, etc.) There was a lot of discussing, but in the end I'm not sure I've learned a whole lot of new perspective.
Also sometimes the tone of the writing sounded like the author wanted to show off how much of sex and kink connoisseur she is, with a thinly veiled tone of superiority. But I guess working in this field you have to develop a bit of ego and pride to combat constant society's shame and disgust thrown at sex work. And also, isn't every artist, whether writer or bdsm performer or everyone in between, a part exhibitionist to be able to show intimate pieces of themselves to the wider world?
This book could have been better, but I'm glad we have it - we need lots of those to destigmatize sex, especially the "naughtier" versions of it. Books like these that talk about sex and kink matter-of-factly, unashamedly, exhaustively, help combat the still prevalent hush-hush or "morally outraged" tone arising time and time again in the light of rising purity culture, moral panic, and anti-educational tones.
Thank you Hachette Books and NetGalley for the ARC.
Where the book succeeded is talking non-judgementally about various kinks without trying to scandalize or sensationalize them. It covers a wide range of subjects from common kinks like foot fetish to more obscure subjects like bimboification to even controversial subjects like cannibalism that I feel is gaining popularity in horror and literary fiction, but is it really something people enact in real life like age play or consensual non-consent? I feel the selection of kinks debated was fairly narrow and arbitrary, for example the was no chapter about bondage, edging or furries - and probably many other kinks I'm not aware of.
The chapters about various kinks are informative but felt a bit repetitive to me. While it was great to bring up various anecdotes, quotes and examples, I often felt like the author was hammering the point way too much. In the end, I felt the discussion was exhaustive, but not super deep, mostly talking about 2 biggest motivations for kinks: taboo / forbidden fruit factor and "letting go" (of responsibility, of shame, of control, of your every-day persona, etc.) There was a lot of discussing, but in the end I'm not sure I've learned a whole lot of new perspective.
Also sometimes the tone of the writing sounded like the author wanted to show off how much of sex and kink connoisseur she is, with a thinly veiled tone of superiority. But I guess working in this field you have to develop a bit of ego and pride to combat constant society's shame and disgust thrown at sex work. And also, isn't every artist, whether writer or bdsm performer or everyone in between, a part exhibitionist to be able to show intimate pieces of themselves to the wider world?
This book could have been better, but I'm glad we have it - we need lots of those to destigmatize sex, especially the "naughtier" versions of it. Books like these that talk about sex and kink matter-of-factly, unashamedly, exhaustively, help combat the still prevalent hush-hush or "morally outraged" tone arising time and time again in the light of rising purity culture, moral panic, and anti-educational tones.
Thank you Hachette Books and NetGalley for the ARC.
June 25, 2025
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WannabeKingpin
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Vakaris
Ah, what a treat. Read Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink by Tina Horn. If you liked Boyslut by Zachary Zane, you will like this one too, and vice versa.
My Opinion: Fascinating read. I’m of belief that we all have some kinks, some of us just look at them to see what’s that all about, whilst others are adamant to ignore the elephant in the room. Even if that elephant in the room is merely a maid / ghostface costume, leftover from the previous Halloween. The author offers up her insight as a dominatrix, how she got into it, and what kinds of people she met in it, to be used as a point of view, the safe space to look from. And then decide what and how you feel about a certain topic, whilst learning what it is, and why it is. It’s deeply inclusive, and very fun, with perspectives on how even though something isn’t for you, it doesn’t make said thing inherently bad, wrong or even icky.
A 5 out of 5, this was very fun. My favorite take was probably those two total sentences on 50 Shades of Grey. And no, no one’s going to yuck your yum here.
Ah, what a treat. Read Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink by Tina Horn. If you liked Boyslut by Zachary Zane, you will like this one too, and vice versa.
My Opinion: Fascinating read. I’m of belief that we all have some kinks, some of us just look at them to see what’s that all about, whilst others are adamant to ignore the elephant in the room. Even if that elephant in the room is merely a maid / ghostface costume, leftover from the previous Halloween. The author offers up her insight as a dominatrix, how she got into it, and what kinds of people she met in it, to be used as a point of view, the safe space to look from. And then decide what and how you feel about a certain topic, whilst learning what it is, and why it is. It’s deeply inclusive, and very fun, with perspectives on how even though something isn’t for you, it doesn’t make said thing inherently bad, wrong or even icky.
A 5 out of 5, this was very fun. My favorite take was probably those two total sentences on 50 Shades of Grey. And no, no one’s going to yuck your yum here.
July 18, 2025
Took me a while to get into the swing of things (and by that I mean the first chapter, feet, wasn’t really capturing my original interest. If that’s you, skip ahead! The chapters all stand on their own as individual explorations. Once you have your head in the game, you can go back)
Overall, a verrry interesting and academic-while-still-being-poppy text about, various kinks. Each chapter has a heading (feet, sploshing, etc) but goes into various related kinks in the chapter. Ie, bimboification is mostly a chapter about gender play, which options plenty of other discussions.
This kind of reminded me of argonauts? In that it’s like a , meta piece of non fiction that led me to lots of juicy things to look up and plenty of useful concepts. My two favorite off the top of my head— circlusion, an active word that is the opposite of penetration, ie— what a ring does when it slides onto/surrounds a finger, and the inverse of the finger penetrating the ring. Where would the world be if we used this verb way more?
Second idea, se*ual extrovert, one who is invigorated by the study of/surrounding of/presence of/discussion of s**.
Great references, funny voice. Had a good time!!
Overall, a verrry interesting and academic-while-still-being-poppy text about, various kinks. Each chapter has a heading (feet, sploshing, etc) but goes into various related kinks in the chapter. Ie, bimboification is mostly a chapter about gender play, which options plenty of other discussions.
This kind of reminded me of argonauts? In that it’s like a , meta piece of non fiction that led me to lots of juicy things to look up and plenty of useful concepts. My two favorite off the top of my head— circlusion, an active word that is the opposite of penetration, ie— what a ring does when it slides onto/surrounds a finger, and the inverse of the finger penetrating the ring. Where would the world be if we used this verb way more?
Second idea, se*ual extrovert, one who is invigorated by the study of/surrounding of/presence of/discussion of s**.
Great references, funny voice. Had a good time!!
July 16, 2024
I really wanted to love this! The topic is soooo interesting and important and one of my faves, but this just didn’t go as deep as i wanted. I really wanted this to get into the “WHY” of Why are people into that? But it wasn’t particularly evidence or research based (which I guess is why it’s called a “cultural investigation”) It definitely felt like it was anecdotes from Tina’s life, which TO BE FAIR, were so fascinating and definitely held up the book. Just wanted more depth than an overview.
But my god was is still so interesting. Each chapter focused on a different kink and I learned so much (even just from the overview nature! I’d never heard of Sploshing for example so that was cool). Tina is clearly such an important voice today and I hope she continues to see success and exposure!
But my god was is still so interesting. Each chapter focused on a different kink and I learned so much (even just from the overview nature! I’d never heard of Sploshing for example so that was cool). Tina is clearly such an important voice today and I hope she continues to see success and exposure!
September 15, 2024
Based on the podcast of the same name (which I never listened to). I've never read a serious book about the vicissitudes of human sexuality that was also so joyous and loving and filled with empathy. Horn draws on a lot of first-hand experience as well as a wealth of research in exploring a vast spectrum of kinks, fetishes, fixations, and relationships. I couldn't help compare this to Gaddam and Ogas's 'A Billion Wicked Thoughts': while that book leaned heavily into trying to explain sexuality with bogus evolutionary psychology, Horn is much more interested in the active psychosexuality of the people indugling themselves and others in different kinds of sex. I've already recommended this to a lot of different friends. Even for subjects that I find repulsive or uncomfortable, I felt like I learned something about the "whys", and the recurring impression was that Tina Horn "gets it".
June 2, 2024
Thank you to Hachette Books via NetGalley for the ARC!
I’ve been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone about the types of books I read so I can grow more as a newly emerging sex-positive person. While I’ve always thought I was, my life has shown that I need to adapt and liberate myself to find joy outside of the prescribed “normal.”
This book made me uncomfortable initially, but the more I read, the more safe and validated I felt in interrogating my own relationship with sex. I recommend this book to those who have any degree of relationship to kink culture, because you might learn something new about it or yourself like I did.
I’ve been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone about the types of books I read so I can grow more as a newly emerging sex-positive person. While I’ve always thought I was, my life has shown that I need to adapt and liberate myself to find joy outside of the prescribed “normal.”
This book made me uncomfortable initially, but the more I read, the more safe and validated I felt in interrogating my own relationship with sex. I recommend this book to those who have any degree of relationship to kink culture, because you might learn something new about it or yourself like I did.
January 9, 2025
This was soooooo interesting! I learned a lot, changed my perspective on many subjects and got curious about so many more. The author made this book feel like a safe, judgment free zone to wonder about sex.
Usually non-fiction loses me because the author spends too long on one singular subject or uses a kind of language my pea-sized brain can’t understand. I didn’t feel like that with this one. It was the perfect mix of educational and anecdotal. I gave it a 4 stars because I skimmed a couple bits and pieces that dragged on too much or I found uninteresting. But, for the most part, would ✨recommend✨!
Usually non-fiction loses me because the author spends too long on one singular subject or uses a kind of language my pea-sized brain can’t understand. I didn’t feel like that with this one. It was the perfect mix of educational and anecdotal. I gave it a 4 stars because I skimmed a couple bits and pieces that dragged on too much or I found uninteresting. But, for the most part, would ✨recommend✨!
June 2, 2025
This was very educational. This covers some kinks that I can clearly say I have no interest in, and others that are questionable XD
There's a lot of science and psychology shared here about what piques interests and how to safely share them with others. As we know, not everyone has the same yums in life, so making sure not to alienate others while still being able to express your own sexual needs has a lot of value. Fortunately, the kink community does seem to communicate a little better than those outside of it - even if that communication is a work in progress.
Highly recommend if you're curious, think you might be curious, or enjoy learning about things in general.
There's a lot of science and psychology shared here about what piques interests and how to safely share them with others. As we know, not everyone has the same yums in life, so making sure not to alienate others while still being able to express your own sexual needs has a lot of value. Fortunately, the kink community does seem to communicate a little better than those outside of it - even if that communication is a work in progress.
Highly recommend if you're curious, think you might be curious, or enjoy learning about things in general.
December 10, 2025
I read this for my queer feminist book club.
I’m not sure I agree this is a cultural investigation. It represents more as a memoir with some facts thrown in.
Some of the topics weren’t fully discussed either for instance - the cannibalism chapter - it’s seems the author only wanted to give a rose tinted glasses view of this fetish and skimmed over some of the darker aspects.
This was the same when it came to other aspects of kink like age play. The author has a very black and white view of kink and completely misses out grey areas/dangers of taboo situations.
It was an okay read for a starting off point into sex/kink taking into consideration the above.
I’m not sure I agree this is a cultural investigation. It represents more as a memoir with some facts thrown in.
Some of the topics weren’t fully discussed either for instance - the cannibalism chapter - it’s seems the author only wanted to give a rose tinted glasses view of this fetish and skimmed over some of the darker aspects.
This was the same when it came to other aspects of kink like age play. The author has a very black and white view of kink and completely misses out grey areas/dangers of taboo situations.
It was an okay read for a starting off point into sex/kink taking into consideration the above.
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