A Smart Girl's Guide to Manners

A Smart Girl's Guide...

by Nancy Holyoke

Girls learn through fun quizzes, advice, and letters from other girls, that manners aren't about being stuffy, boring, or formal. Manners give girls the skills they need to handle tough and tricky times in their life. From the dinner table to the telephone, manners give girls what they need to WOW the world.

Genres: Nonfiction, Childrens, Middle Grade, Self Help, Reference, Parenting, Juvenile

120 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1997

Reviews

[JD Waggy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I may not be 11 anymore, but this is a good brush-up even for adults as to how to act in certain situations. Where does the fork go when setting the table? How do you react if guests are pains in the ass? What happens when you drop a glass of something in someone else's house? Sure, it might seem like second nature now, but we had to have learned this somewhere, and I'm glad American Girl put this out when I was a kid. It's instructive without being overbearing or stuffy, which is really important when trying to teach kids rules of any sort. Definitely saving it for my niece, when she gets older.

[Aurie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book often throughout the '90s, and I've kept my copy. Seriously, hands-down, the best etiquette guide available for kids. I was taught much of this stuff by my parents, but it included relevant scenarios like what to say when someone dyes her hair (and let's face it, that still has awkward potential as an adult) and how to react when I'm totally embarrassed.

Contrary to another reviewer's claim, it didn't teach me to be a robot or live with a queen. It taught me life skills, how to react to situations, the delicate balance between preserving others' feelings and not letting people treat me like a doormat. And it accomplished all this without feeling like a study guide - it felt more like a magazine full of fun ideas and a diary filled with secret stories and tips.

Highly recommend for children aged 7-13 (esp. girls) or for adults looking for a fun way to brush up on their etiquette or people skills.

[Josiah · Rating 2 out of 5]

This non-fiction guide to the everyday playing out of manners in the lives of normal kids is actually more fun than one might think. The quizzes stimulate thought, and I found the instructional suggestions to be sound and very usable. Above all, my sisters and I simply always have had a lot of fun reading through this book and seeing the way that things in it are put. This book actually taught me a lot of the basic manners that I employ, but it allows for manners ideas that don't work for the reader to be discarded without feeling as if a mistake has been made.

[Juliana · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ughh. Virtually every American girl doll book tells girls how to live their lives. This is one of them. You don't have to be a perfect mannered robot like this book tells you to. Yeah, be polite but don't act like you live with the Queen of England...part of being a kid is to make mistakes, so what if you get in trouble every now and then. A famous quote says, "well-behaved women rarely make history".

[Rants and Bants · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was really stupid...albeit hilarious. Some of the "manners" they taught sounded so sensitive and prudish and childish and condescending...oh, and why is this book for girls? Just curious...

I'm morbidly curious though to read through it again (not all of it, but just glance around) so I can come back here to talk about some ridiculous examples, and I'll admit, I at least liked the illustrations if anything.

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was weirdly into this book as a kid, and, honestly, I still stand by that. It’s served me really well I life to be the girl in the room who knows which fork is which and other such etiquette basics. Props to American Girl for managing to make topics like this so fun and engaging that I still think about this book a dozen years later. Wish I could find my old copy...

[may regan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this on the shelf one day and I am NOT disappointed. I mean, this book basically gives you a step-by-step on how to get invited to the Queen of England's palace.
STEP ONE: Have good manners.
STEP TWO: Use 'em.
STEP THREE: People will hear about your phenomenal manners and tell everyone and eventually the people with connections will tell the Queen of England and she will IMMEDIATELY have her guards escort you to the palace to have tea and she'll drop her cookie in her tea and you won't say anything and all of the sudden you're chums with the Queen.
It's a great book.

[Dylan Tian · Rating 4 out of 5]

opens with some big hitters like "who decides what is polite and what isn't? we all do"

helpful, comprehensive, could challenge some gender stereotypes a little more, probably would've been a godsend if I read this when I was 10

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is one of those American Girls lifestyle books. What I liked about it was that it wasn't just "manners," although those are definitely covered. It also included how to deal with a variety of situations and circumstances, including funerals, weddings and traveling. This is one of those things I would have been interested in as a child, and while I don't think all girls will love this, it is directly marketed at girls, which is why I chose to put it in this category.
The title says it all - this book is for girls. However, I don't think anyone could be hurt by reading this book. The manners it talks about would apply to boys, or even adults. Especially some adults! This could also be a useful book for parents - it might provide some modeling behaviors for them so they can encourage their kids to do the same.

[Colleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This American Girl series is my new favorite for working with my students in 3rd through 5th grades. These self-help style books answer the questions and create opportunities for discussion in ways that take the pressure off of the girls as individuals and allow us to talk as young women in general. I've used this with my students with behavior problems, explaining that if what they want is really to get their way, manners are the most likely way that's going to happen. It's incredible to see how quickly the girls respond and take note of what is most likely to work for their personalities. It is also a great way to teach my students on the autism spectrum. The graphics really enhance the content. I would recommend this book to anyone looking for an easy way to explain modern manners in a simple, effective, yet engaging and fun way.

[Ashleigh Cartmill · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a nice little book I read just before middle school. It had some nice tips on certain things, like how to address certain adults and what to do when you don't want to eat something at a sleepover. It was kind of helpful when I was younger.

[Lauren]

Another American Girl book I read! It had good examples for manners.

[Lilly Fife]

This manner book was really fun to learn from surprisingly enough! I learned that there's a fun way to learn manners!!!

[Ashlynn White · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is very interesting so fare.

[$hanel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this when I need to practice my "manners."

[Harle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've always like these books by American Girl.

[Audra · Rating 5 out of 5]

My 8 year old 3rd grader loves this book!

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gives lots of practical advice to girls on how to conduct themselves and what to say in a whole range of social situations, such as sleepovers, family gatherings, funerals, and weddings.

[Panda Incognito · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book explains manners and general social skills in short, easy-to-read sections, including concrete examples, quizzes, and reflection questions throughout. I appreciate how the book covers both culturally relative etiquette and enduring moral values, and the author did a great job explaining why certain things are considered polite or rude. She doesn't just tell girls what to do, but shows them the moral reason why. She is also very thorough in covering many different situations and settings that girls might be in.

Some reviews criticize this book for specifically targeting girls about being mannerly, but that is totally off-base. It's specific to girls because it's an American Girl publication, and nothing about this is trying to teach girls to be prim, perfect people-pleasers. All throughout the different sections, the author provides encouragement and examples for how girls can say no to things they don't want to do or experience, can politely turn down overtures of friendship, and can handle potentially unsafe situations. The author shows that you can stand up for yourself and set boundaries without being rude and unkind, and that you don't have to be a people-pleaser to still be polite.

Some of the etiquette details and anecdotal examples in this book are dated, but there are more recent editions of this title. I enjoyed the nostalgia of the nineties copy I found at the thrift store, but I'm also curious to flip through the 2013 version to see what changed.

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book. I got it when I was young and all the material is still worthwhile as a young adult. This covers the basics of manners and etiquette; from greeting people to staying over to funerals, there is at least a short blip about how to act in most situations. Funny anecdote: I went to a rehearsal dinner this year and was the only one my age that knew how to use the table settings. It was fun to help people with their forks and glasses, and I remembered after all these years! I really like the beginning chapters that deal with basic politeness like greeting and addressing people and common courtesies. I think that's a must-read for everyone.

[Charlie - disableddaydreamer | itsbarbieparis (looking for mutuals) · Rating 4 out of 5]

reading this for the first time as an adult i even learned some things but holy moly, how no one gave my autistic and very brass self this guide book is beyond me. i would have eaten this up because genuinely for years i didn’t understand and my parents didn’t do a good job with it, these american girl books were really ahead of their time in discussions around care, kindness and hard topics.

they even cover bereavement in this and teach different cultural norms.

child me needed this in a bad way. adult me appreciates it still.

[Marya · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best in the smart girl series lot. By defining manners as something girls choose to show because they believe other people are as important as themselves, this guide aspires to be more than a list of rules. For the most part, it succeeds. And the parts where it doesn't are not that consequential. After all, if adult models of deferring ego are few and far between, any book that encourages empathy as a basic function of polite society is welcome.

[Maya Lane DeGala Harris · Rating 5 out of 5]

I actually have read this book many many times in my lifetime.
I have had this American Girl book since Elementary school.
I still very much enjoyed reading this book about manners even at 19!
It’s basically a book about manners and how to use them.

[Melissa Namba · Rating 4 out of 5]

Most of these are pretty spot on and stand the test of time. Its basically about good manners. I liked that it talked about texting etiquette and not to text too much. Its got good guidelines for drawing lines as well.

[Lindsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

We read the 2013 edition. I think the American Girl company is starting to go away from the values that made them popular but this book was great. So many good insights into being polite in many different situations that started good conversations with my kids.

[Kathleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really good. You really need to read it!

[MK · Rating 2 out of 5]

A pretty silly book, but the illustrations are pretty nostalgic for me xD

[Fi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book so much as a kid. I think I asked for it for my birthday. It's still fun to flip through, and I love the illustrations.

[Molly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good for kids and adults!!!!!

[Kara Kuehl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book!