You're Not a Murderer: You Just Have Harm OCD

by Kim Conrey, Finn Conrey (Primary Contributor)

You're Not a You Just Have Harm OCD takes the reader on the journey of mother and writer Kim Conrey and her oldest child, Finn, as they grapple with the unseen, misunderstood beast known as obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). This includes Kim finding teenaged Finn shaking and dry heaving on the bathroom floor and saying if the violent, looping images they see in their head could come true, then they don't deserve to live. While an estimated 1 in 40 adults and 1 in 100 children suffer from OCD, it is estimated that up to 50% of both groups also suffer with the intrusive violent thoughts of Harm OCD and it is estimated to be even higher among youths at 70%. These thoughts include frightening, recurring mental images of hurting oneself or others. The fear and stigma of disclosing such notions keep sufferers from getting help. No one wants to admit to thoughts of harming someone they love. But they're not they just have Harm OCD. In this authentic and courageous memoir, a mother will reach into her own past of dealing with Harm OCD and attempt to drag some light into the present to illuminate both their paths.

210 pages, Paperback

Published October 26, 2023

About the author

Kim Conrey is the author of the sci-fi romance series Ares Ascending and the urban fantasy/paranormal romance, Nicholas Eternal, Book One of the Wayward Saviors series. She's also the recipient of the Georgia Author of the Year Award for Romance. She writes a blog about living with OCD. In addition, she serves as VP of Operations for the Atlanta Writers Club. You can also find her on the Wild Women Who Write Take Flight Podcast where she and the other Wild Women interview authors and industry professionals with a primary goal of supporting women writers. Her essays have been published in The Bitter Southerner, Atlanta Parent, Awakened Voices Literary Magazine and others. She also marches as a Box Hero Wonder Woman in Atlanta's Dragon Con parade.

Reviews

[J.M. Lanham · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Must-Read Memoir For Anyone Wanting To Learn More About OCD

Kim and Finn Conrey’s book “You’re Not a Murderer: You Just Have Harm OCD” undoubtably joins the ranks of must-read literature for anyone who is either suffering from OCD themselves or has friends and family who are afflicted by this terrible—yet highly treatable—condition. Both Kim and Finn’s courageous vulnerability in telling their story from each of their unique perspectives reminded me that those suffering from OCD are not alone and can overcome even the most dire of challenges with the right support, therapy and a whole lot of love. It’s clear that this memoir was a cathartic work of love between mother and child, and I know it’s already helped anyone who is familiar with the true nature of OCD who has had a chance to read it—I know it helped me. Highly recommended.

[Makaylah J Chambers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Before reading this book, I had no idea that there are different types of OCD. I am glad to have learned more about harm OCD and how it has affected other people's lives. I hope this book can reach others who are currently dealing with harm OCD, and as someone who is not affected by this type, I can empathize with the authors. I loved how I got to see a glimpse inside the personal lives of these amazing and talented authors. I truly appreciate being educated more on the topic of harm ocd. If you know someone who is dealing with this type or even someone who wants to know more about a different type. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND reading this book. The artwork that is presented shows the raw emotions of the words on the page being brought to life as well.

[Natalie Dyen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kim Conrey and her daughter Finn have written a powerful and moving memoir about their struggles with OCD. The author paints a vivid picture of this devastating disorder in its most extreme form: Harm OCD. We share her distress as she watches the illness hijack her daughter, flooding her with troubling thoughts, paralyzing her with anxiety, robbing her of the will to live. We empathize with her as she draws on her own experience with the disease to save her daughter.

Conrey is an excellent writer who has the courage to share her most intimate thoughts and emotions with the reader. I highly recommend this book, which at its core is a moving tale of a mother’s love for her daughter.

[G.A. Anderson · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I read this book, the more I realized that this is a powerful memoir by Finn and Kim Conrey about their struggle with OCD and Harm OCD, a diagnosis that many haven't heard of, and many struggle to find relief from. The pain and honesty they share with the reader is moving, terrifying and uplifting. To those struggling with OCD, or family and friends of those near them, this book will give you insight and make you feel less alone, from every day struggles, to finding a suitable therapist. I highly recommend this book.

[KJFieler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written, bravely candid. Have you ever felt trapped in your own mind? Constantly bombarded by intrusive thoughts and overwhelming anxieties? If so, you're not alone. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) affects millions of people worldwide, yet it remains a misunderstood and stigmatized condition. In this powerful memoir, author and adult-offspring take us on a riveting journey through their battle, with raw honesty and incredible vulnerability, as they share their pain, terror, and triumph on the path to finding relief from OCD.

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Harm OCD is explained through prose form, demonstrating a story within a family. An example of harm OCD is injuring themselves when removing dirt from their hands to the point of drawing blood. It's intrusive thoughts coming alive, fearing the dirt will never leave despite the visual cleanliness. The book is written from two perspectives: Kim's and Finn's. This helps to share perspectives and the journey of coping with OCD.


I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Terra Weiss · Rating 5 out of 5]

An extremely important book for those struggling with Harm OCD, but everyone else too. This is such an important overlooked issue, and Conrey raises awareness and can help those suffering recognize the signs in this brave and honest memoir. This raw, emotional journey is an inspiration of hope and strength to those who are suffering and their families.

[Paulette Illmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the story of two women, mother and daughter, both with OCD, and the way it controls their lives, how they managed to control it, and how their experience can offer hope to others who suffer from this condition. Throughout the book, they urge anyone with this or any other mental illness to seek help, and to push for the kind of help that fits their individual situation.

[Geena Russo · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an important memoir about OCD. It is also relatable even if you don’t suffer from OCD. As this book reminds and educates, no you don’t have OCD if you like to organize or are neat.

I enjoyed having Kim’s daughter’s experts throughout the book. I also thought Kim did an excellent job making OCD accessible for the reader’s understanding.

[Sara Farmer · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I had had even just the title of this book when I had a nervous breakdown in 2002 precipitated by intrusive thoughts from Harm OCD, I would have been spared so much anguish. I had no idea what was happening to me and it upended my whole life. Thank you for writing this book.

[Cheryl Hilderbrand · Rating 5 out of 5]

Moving memoir; Enlightening mental health information

Kim Conrey and her daughter Finn have written an important book.
As it was once her mission to help her daughter learn to manage their Harm Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, it is now Conrey’s goal to educate the public about the disease and to help other sufferers find support and effective therapy.
You’re Not a Murderer: You Just Have Harm OCD is an engaging and inspiring memoir. It is Finn’s story of suffering, searching, and learning to manage their thoughts and compulsions with the help of her parents, meds, and therapy. It is Finn’s story of learning to trust in her own goodness and intellect.
But it is also Kim’s story, and she tells it honestly. The narrative mainly follows Kim’s fear for her daughter and her resulting search to determine a diagnosis, find information, secure professional help, and manage the symptoms of the debilitating disease Harm OCD. But as with most severe illnesses, all members of the family are affected. The family’s journey toward health is told in the context of everyday work and relationship issues, and against the background of Finn’s typical adolescent concerns about fitting in, sexuality, and religion.
This is a serious story, but it ends with Kim listening to Finn’s laughter. And along the way there are revelations of how families can work together for good, even in disagreement.
In reading this book, I learned a great deal about Harm OCD, and about parental devotion. And I will never again make a joke about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.