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What We Kept to Ourselves
1999: The Kim family is struggling to move on after their mother, Sunny, vanished a year ago. Sixty-one-year-old John Kim feels more isolated from his grown children than ever before. But one evening, their fragile lives are further upended when John finds the body of a stranger in the backyard, carrying a letter to Sunny, leaving the family with more questions than ever.
1977: Sunny is pregnant and has just moved to Los Angeles from Korea with her aloof and often-absent husband. America is not turning out the way she had dreamed it to be, and the loneliness and isolation are broken only by a fateful encounter at a bus stop. The unexpected connection spans the decades and echoes into the family’s lives in the present as they uncover devastating secrets that put not only everything they thought they knew about their mother but their very lives at risk.
1977: Sunny is pregnant and has just moved to Los Angeles from Korea with her aloof and often-absent husband. America is not turning out the way she had dreamed it to be, and the loneliness and isolation are broken only by a fateful encounter at a bus stop. The unexpected connection spans the decades and echoes into the family’s lives in the present as they uncover devastating secrets that put not only everything they thought they knew about their mother but their very lives at risk.
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First published October 10, 2023
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November 14, 2023
Textbook of How Not To Write A Book
What We Kept To Ourselves is set in 1999, right before Y2K, where Korean immigrant, John, comes home to find a dead body in his backyard. The deceased has a letter addressed to John’s wife, Sunny, who disappeared a year before.
This book was S-L-O-W. It really boggles my mind how so little could be said in 400+ pages. From the beginning, we are trying to uncover the mystery surrounding the dead person in the yard. But the author did a horrible job benching marking any progress towards that goal.
Even at the 50% mark, the characters were still talking about the same things as at the beginning of the book.
The narrative voice is also horrible. This book is so overly preachy. The author goes on and on and on. The thing is I actually believe in everything the author espouses in this book….surprise surprise I’m a bleeding heart. But it was so heavy handed. It treats the readers as though they are incredibly dumb. The characters have these long monologues, and the paragraph are so long that they never seem to end.
This book is in such sharp contrast to Four Seasons in Japan where the author was much more gentle and allowed readers to put 2 and 2 together.
Jooyoun Kim makes the error of telling instead of showing. I wanted to see Sunny working hard, hear her thoughts and dreams instead of being told.
Personally, if I was editor, this book would need major, MAJOR rewrites, starting with the ending being placed at the beginning. Paragraphs would need to be trimmed down. The story itself is workable, but the storytelling is rough. What We Kept To Ourselves needs to meet The Fury by Alex Michaelides, more natural flowing dialogue, shorter paragraphs, a lighter tone, faster pacing.
There was also a major continuity error. To be vague without giving away spoilers, Sunny says that John did something that she will never forgive. But then, in a subsequent period, the results of that act are undone. This doesn’t make any sense……
*Thanks, Edelweiss and Atria Books, for a free copy of this book in exchange for my fair and unbiased opinion.
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What We Kept To Ourselves is set in 1999, right before Y2K, where Korean immigrant, John, comes home to find a dead body in his backyard. The deceased has a letter addressed to John’s wife, Sunny, who disappeared a year before.
This book was S-L-O-W. It really boggles my mind how so little could be said in 400+ pages. From the beginning, we are trying to uncover the mystery surrounding the dead person in the yard. But the author did a horrible job benching marking any progress towards that goal.
Even at the 50% mark, the characters were still talking about the same things as at the beginning of the book.
The narrative voice is also horrible. This book is so overly preachy. The author goes on and on and on. The thing is I actually believe in everything the author espouses in this book….surprise surprise I’m a bleeding heart. But it was so heavy handed. It treats the readers as though they are incredibly dumb. The characters have these long monologues, and the paragraph are so long that they never seem to end.
This book is in such sharp contrast to Four Seasons in Japan where the author was much more gentle and allowed readers to put 2 and 2 together.
Jooyoun Kim makes the error of telling instead of showing. I wanted to see Sunny working hard, hear her thoughts and dreams instead of being told.
Personally, if I was editor, this book would need major, MAJOR rewrites, starting with the ending being placed at the beginning. Paragraphs would need to be trimmed down. The story itself is workable, but the storytelling is rough. What We Kept To Ourselves needs to meet The Fury by Alex Michaelides, more natural flowing dialogue, shorter paragraphs, a lighter tone, faster pacing.
There was also a major continuity error. To be vague without giving away spoilers, Sunny says that John did something that she will never forgive. But then, in a subsequent period, the results of that act are undone. This doesn’t make any sense……
*Thanks, Edelweiss and Atria Books, for a free copy of this book in exchange for my fair and unbiased opinion.
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February 26, 2025
Nancy is a master with words. I was first introduced to her work, as I'm sure many of you were, with the incredibly moving mother and daughter saga, THE LAST STORY OF MINA LEE. Susan Straight made an incredible map of 1001 novels in the US with corresponding dots on a map. Mina's feature is at 8th and Normandie, a rather historic location in LA Koreatown. If you see me at R Bar, you didn't.
What We Kept to Ourselves is also largely based in Koreatown, an ethnic enclave of Koreans and Latine communities coexisting in relative harmony. Like Mina, we teeter between two timelines, 1999 and 1977. Why are these dates so important? Remember the Y2K craze? And the 1992 riots? We don't want race to play in as a factor, when it almost always does.
John Kim feels survivor's guilt, felt deeply after he and his father left his mother and siblings during the Korean War. His father has since remarried, and John escapes South Korea entirely, choosing to immigrate to the US. He marries Sunny and takes her with him. Like so many others before them, theirs is not a marriage of love, but of convenience.
Their children, Ana and Ronald are born. Ana for Anastasia, the name Sunny wanted to take on officially, but John only laughed at her. Ronald is named for a kind Black man who goes by RJ that Sunny met the day she went into labor. He factors heavily into this story.
At the start of the book, RJ is homeless and has wandered into the Kims' backyard. He has a notebook with Sunny's name on it, and calls her name before he dies. John finds him. This is already a mystery in of itself, but then we learn that Sunny has been missing, presumed dead, for a year.
Usually in dual timeline stories, there is a timeline that I ultimately prefer, but that isn't the case here. I loved learning about Sunny's hardships in the 1970s and beyond. And those hardships play a huge role in how her children mature in the 1990s.
Ana and Ronald meet up with Rhonda, RJ's estranged daughter, to try to find out what happened to him, and the factors that led up to his homelessness and eventual death. How did RJ and Sunny meet? Why did they remain friends? Why was it a secret?
As I said earlier, race is a factor. There is an underlying delusion that Asian Americans are the model minority, a myth that hurts everyone, as it tries to set us close to white Americans. It also hurts other minorities. One of my favorite scenes is Rhonda's monologue toward the Kims' explaining this.
Related to this is the idea that once you "make it" in this country, you need to keep your head down and let the police and other government workers do their job, that you should trust them. I have done zero research on this, so don't come for me, but I think for immigrants that left a bad regime behind, the idea of the US police and government is so welcome after the communism or fascism they left behind. I know it's true within the older members of my own family.
Overall, this is a story about Sunny, labeled only a wife and mother. But she's more than that. She's an artist. She's a friend. She left so much of that behind in South Korea. A lot of times we overlook SAHM. I'm guilty of it, even though my mother was one. We don't know what they've gone through. A lot of times, we don't ask.
So while this may be labeled a family saga, and it is, I would say this is almost a coming of age story for a Korean woman becoming free in her middle age. And for me, that is indicative of THE AWAKENING, which blew my mind the time I first read it.
The last 20% astounded me. I didn't guess anything. Well, maybe one thing. But this certainly isn't as predictable as the dime a dozen domestic thrillers that pop up at airport pop-up shops.
📖 Gifted by Carolyn Huynh
What We Kept to Ourselves is also largely based in Koreatown, an ethnic enclave of Koreans and Latine communities coexisting in relative harmony. Like Mina, we teeter between two timelines, 1999 and 1977. Why are these dates so important? Remember the Y2K craze? And the 1992 riots? We don't want race to play in as a factor, when it almost always does.
John Kim feels survivor's guilt, felt deeply after he and his father left his mother and siblings during the Korean War. His father has since remarried, and John escapes South Korea entirely, choosing to immigrate to the US. He marries Sunny and takes her with him. Like so many others before them, theirs is not a marriage of love, but of convenience.
Their children, Ana and Ronald are born. Ana for Anastasia, the name Sunny wanted to take on officially, but John only laughed at her. Ronald is named for a kind Black man who goes by RJ that Sunny met the day she went into labor. He factors heavily into this story.
At the start of the book, RJ is homeless and has wandered into the Kims' backyard. He has a notebook with Sunny's name on it, and calls her name before he dies. John finds him. This is already a mystery in of itself, but then we learn that Sunny has been missing, presumed dead, for a year.
Usually in dual timeline stories, there is a timeline that I ultimately prefer, but that isn't the case here. I loved learning about Sunny's hardships in the 1970s and beyond. And those hardships play a huge role in how her children mature in the 1990s.
Ana and Ronald meet up with Rhonda, RJ's estranged daughter, to try to find out what happened to him, and the factors that led up to his homelessness and eventual death. How did RJ and Sunny meet? Why did they remain friends? Why was it a secret?
As I said earlier, race is a factor. There is an underlying delusion that Asian Americans are the model minority, a myth that hurts everyone, as it tries to set us close to white Americans. It also hurts other minorities. One of my favorite scenes is Rhonda's monologue toward the Kims' explaining this.
Related to this is the idea that once you "make it" in this country, you need to keep your head down and let the police and other government workers do their job, that you should trust them. I have done zero research on this, so don't come for me, but I think for immigrants that left a bad regime behind, the idea of the US police and government is so welcome after the communism or fascism they left behind. I know it's true within the older members of my own family.
Overall, this is a story about Sunny, labeled only a wife and mother. But she's more than that. She's an artist. She's a friend. She left so much of that behind in South Korea. A lot of times we overlook SAHM. I'm guilty of it, even though my mother was one. We don't know what they've gone through. A lot of times, we don't ask.
So while this may be labeled a family saga, and it is, I would say this is almost a coming of age story for a Korean woman becoming free in her middle age. And for me, that is indicative of THE AWAKENING, which blew my mind the time I first read it.
The last 20% astounded me. I didn't guess anything. Well, maybe one thing. But this certainly isn't as predictable as the dime a dozen domestic thrillers that pop up at airport pop-up shops.
📖 Gifted by Carolyn Huynh
October 7, 2023
Such a sad story. John and Sunny escape Korea with too many scars. Casualties of the DMZ. Their children, Ana and Ronald, don't get a smidgen of a chance to understand the baggage that crushes their family. The current timeline is just before Y2K, a year after Sunny has disappeared. The past timeline begins in 1977 and provides some answers to that question but I was not a fan. Some controversial life choices made by Sunny were so damaging to her family. And John just can't seem to get out of his own way.
Thank you to Atria Books and Edelweiss+ for a DRC in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you to Atria Books and Edelweiss+ for a DRC in exchange for an honest review.
Currently reading
March 10, 2024I was just on a panel with Nancy at a book festival, and she explained that she used the missing-person element as a metaphor for the way that so many women "disappear" when they become mothers, which is something I've definitely felt. (And the re-emergence as the children grow older and become their own people and leave for their own lives.) I haven't finished reading this book yet, but I love the premise and the great prose and voice, and so many of the passages are resonating with me!
June 8, 2023
https://wendyreadit.wordpress.com/202...
The dual timeline in this story works so well and comes together at the end leaving the reader wanting more. The story follows a Korean family living in California. The Kim family, John, Sunny, and their children, Ana and Ronald, are thrown a curve ball when Sunny, mom, goes missing and, a year after she goes missing, a dead man shows up in their yard with a letter with Sunny's name on it. Through flashbacks to 1977 from 1999, Sunny's life unfolds and the suspense builds as to how a dead man ended up in their yard. I have not yet read 'The Last Story of Mina Lee' but I am certainly looking forward to it now! I also am anxious to try some of the Korean dishes they talk about. Oct 2023 Pub Date
The dual timeline in this story works so well and comes together at the end leaving the reader wanting more. The story follows a Korean family living in California. The Kim family, John, Sunny, and their children, Ana and Ronald, are thrown a curve ball when Sunny, mom, goes missing and, a year after she goes missing, a dead man shows up in their yard with a letter with Sunny's name on it. Through flashbacks to 1977 from 1999, Sunny's life unfolds and the suspense builds as to how a dead man ended up in their yard. I have not yet read 'The Last Story of Mina Lee' but I am certainly looking forward to it now! I also am anxious to try some of the Korean dishes they talk about. Oct 2023 Pub Date
October 29, 2023
Love, secrets, the past, choice, a disappearance, the present. For me this book was a little too long and could have used some editing. Families are interesting things. WE love them, they can be toxic, they can be loving, they can be dysfunctional, they come with expectations.
For me, this was an okay read but I wished it had been a little shorter. I have a feeling this will be a polarizing book. Readers will love it, or not care for it. I am in the middle. I appreciate what the author was trying to convey, but I do not enjoy slow burns and this was a little too slow for my likes.
For me, this was an okay read but I wished it had been a little shorter. I have a feeling this will be a polarizing book. Readers will love it, or not care for it. I am in the middle. I appreciate what the author was trying to convey, but I do not enjoy slow burns and this was a little too slow for my likes.
July 11, 2023
Genre: Mystery/Family Saga/Suspense/LGBT
Publisher: Atria Books
Pub. Date: Oct. 10, 2023
“What We Kept to Ourselves” follows a Korean-American family living in California. The protagonists are John Kim, Sunny, and their college-age kids, Anna and Ronald. The setting alternates between 1977 and 1999. Jooyoun Kim takes her time demonstrating how nothing is as it seems for this family. While this is marketed as a mystery, it is also a family drama about secrets kept between children and parents, expectations not met, and, most of all, the meaning of the American Dream.
As a means to add suspense, Jooyoun Kim cleverly, taps into the Y2K paranoia of the late 1990s. The Kim family is also waiting for the apocalypse, which creates extra tension between an already stressed household. The mystery element is a doozy—Sunny disappears. One year later, a dead man turns up in their yard with a note with Sunny's name on it. There are a few good twists before we learn what happened. The novel's ending left me wanting a Part II, even though the climax might be hard to swallow. If I say more, it would be a spoiler.
The author shows us the pressures and expectations of immigrants and refugees, making each character's predicament and suffering feel very real. For example, John wants to be an American through and through. He only wants to eat fast food, while Sunny cooks Korean food and doesn’t want to assimilate. Anna loves Korean meals but will only eat with a fork. Ronald is not Korean enough to fit in with the other Korean kids at school. But, he also does not he fit in with the other students either.
The family is functional while being dysfunctional. The parents are refugees who lived through the Korean War. The kids are American-born and are clueless that their dad suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The author kept them in the dark about what is behind their dad’s irrationality and growing depression. This is how she creates a wall between her characters. John desperately doesn’t want his kids to hate him like he hated his father. His solution to the problem is to isolate himself from his children. As a result, even though John is a poor father, he is also a sympathetic character.
The novel is a good mix of mystery and family drama. The scenes between the family members are heartbreakingly raw. It is apparent that they love each other, but the difficult questions and thoughts they want to share die in their throats. Jooyoun Kim successfully writes about topics including marriage, sexuality, and parenthood. She makes her story a mystery by showing how miscommunication can destroy families. In addition (here is a hint but not a spoiler) she suggests that acquaintances can profoundly impact a person's life. If you do not mind a slow-moving novel, I highly recommend “What We Kept to Ourselves.”
I received this novel at no cost from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Find all my book reviews at:
https://books6259.wordpress.com
https://www.goodreads.com
https://twitter.com/NeesRecord
https://www.amazon.com
https://www.facebook.com/martie.neesr...
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/blog/c...
Publisher: Atria Books
Pub. Date: Oct. 10, 2023
“What We Kept to Ourselves” follows a Korean-American family living in California. The protagonists are John Kim, Sunny, and their college-age kids, Anna and Ronald. The setting alternates between 1977 and 1999. Jooyoun Kim takes her time demonstrating how nothing is as it seems for this family. While this is marketed as a mystery, it is also a family drama about secrets kept between children and parents, expectations not met, and, most of all, the meaning of the American Dream.
As a means to add suspense, Jooyoun Kim cleverly, taps into the Y2K paranoia of the late 1990s. The Kim family is also waiting for the apocalypse, which creates extra tension between an already stressed household. The mystery element is a doozy—Sunny disappears. One year later, a dead man turns up in their yard with a note with Sunny's name on it. There are a few good twists before we learn what happened. The novel's ending left me wanting a Part II, even though the climax might be hard to swallow. If I say more, it would be a spoiler.
The author shows us the pressures and expectations of immigrants and refugees, making each character's predicament and suffering feel very real. For example, John wants to be an American through and through. He only wants to eat fast food, while Sunny cooks Korean food and doesn’t want to assimilate. Anna loves Korean meals but will only eat with a fork. Ronald is not Korean enough to fit in with the other Korean kids at school. But, he also does not he fit in with the other students either.
The family is functional while being dysfunctional. The parents are refugees who lived through the Korean War. The kids are American-born and are clueless that their dad suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The author kept them in the dark about what is behind their dad’s irrationality and growing depression. This is how she creates a wall between her characters. John desperately doesn’t want his kids to hate him like he hated his father. His solution to the problem is to isolate himself from his children. As a result, even though John is a poor father, he is also a sympathetic character.
The novel is a good mix of mystery and family drama. The scenes between the family members are heartbreakingly raw. It is apparent that they love each other, but the difficult questions and thoughts they want to share die in their throats. Jooyoun Kim successfully writes about topics including marriage, sexuality, and parenthood. She makes her story a mystery by showing how miscommunication can destroy families. In addition (here is a hint but not a spoiler) she suggests that acquaintances can profoundly impact a person's life. If you do not mind a slow-moving novel, I highly recommend “What We Kept to Ourselves.”
I received this novel at no cost from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Find all my book reviews at:
https://books6259.wordpress.com
https://www.goodreads.com
https://twitter.com/NeesRecord
https://www.amazon.com
https://www.facebook.com/martie.neesr...
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/blog/c...
September 1, 2023
3 Stars
This book centers upon an Asian American couple, Korean immigrants who have settled in the Los Angeles area. It is the late seventies, and the main character Sunny Kim finds it difficult adapting to a new country away from her blood family in Korea, isolated at home with two young children while her husband works long hours at a homegrown business. Sunny left her painting passion behind, the remnants of this in the backyard garage with its odor of turpentine. There is also the spectre of an unrealized sensual attraction to a female professor Sunny once knew in Korea. One morning Sunny has a chance encounter with a Good Samaritan named RJ at a bus stop, as her water breaks with her second pregnancy. His gentle, comforting and compassionate manner makes a huge impression on Sunny leading to future random encounters with complicated ramifications.
The timeline jumps ahead to 1999 and Sunny has been missing for almost a year. The kids Ronald and Ana are almost grown up while husband John struggles with maintaining the household and some sense of normalcy in the wake of Sunny's unexplained disappearance. Then one night a man is found dead in the backyard with a letter meant for Sunny. This is the launchpad for a dual timeline weaving from past to present as the story evolves to its surprise conclusion.
I am primarily a biography and non-fiction reader, but occasionally will accept invitations to read certain works of fiction. I do love to read about Asian cultures, so decided to read this one when offered. While it kept me tethered to the story to a degree that I wanted to find out the mystery of what happened, at over 400 pages I felt like it dragged out a bit too long. There were some twists that side-swiped me and kept me on my toes. I have a sense that I am an outlier because of my genre preferences and this will probably be rated by most higher than I am giving it. It was a good read and for that I am giving it 3 Stars.
Thank you to the publisher Atria Books / Simon & Schuster for providing an advance reader copy via Edelweiss.
This book centers upon an Asian American couple, Korean immigrants who have settled in the Los Angeles area. It is the late seventies, and the main character Sunny Kim finds it difficult adapting to a new country away from her blood family in Korea, isolated at home with two young children while her husband works long hours at a homegrown business. Sunny left her painting passion behind, the remnants of this in the backyard garage with its odor of turpentine. There is also the spectre of an unrealized sensual attraction to a female professor Sunny once knew in Korea. One morning Sunny has a chance encounter with a Good Samaritan named RJ at a bus stop, as her water breaks with her second pregnancy. His gentle, comforting and compassionate manner makes a huge impression on Sunny leading to future random encounters with complicated ramifications.
The timeline jumps ahead to 1999 and Sunny has been missing for almost a year. The kids Ronald and Ana are almost grown up while husband John struggles with maintaining the household and some sense of normalcy in the wake of Sunny's unexplained disappearance. Then one night a man is found dead in the backyard with a letter meant for Sunny. This is the launchpad for a dual timeline weaving from past to present as the story evolves to its surprise conclusion.
I am primarily a biography and non-fiction reader, but occasionally will accept invitations to read certain works of fiction. I do love to read about Asian cultures, so decided to read this one when offered. While it kept me tethered to the story to a degree that I wanted to find out the mystery of what happened, at over 400 pages I felt like it dragged out a bit too long. There were some twists that side-swiped me and kept me on my toes. I have a sense that I am an outlier because of my genre preferences and this will probably be rated by most higher than I am giving it. It was a good read and for that I am giving it 3 Stars.
Thank you to the publisher Atria Books / Simon & Schuster for providing an advance reader copy via Edelweiss.
December 20, 2023
A dual time line mystery and family drama that begins with the discovery of a dead man in the Kim's backyard in 1999. It then goes back in time to 1977, and tells the story of Sunny Kim, who has been missing for a year.
June 9, 2023
A very moving family story of love lost, secrets kept between children and parents and expectations not met; even coming to America
June 1, 2023
A really good book! It's amazing how families can become intertwined and how mysteries of the people you think you know come about after they're gone. I think Kim has crafted a great story. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. Five stars.
September 24, 2023
This book is very very slow and difficult to get invested in. It was truly a struggle. I don’t have many words to contribute to this review, for which I do apologize, but I wouldn’t recommend the read.
Thank you to the publisher for the gifted ARC
Thank you to the publisher for the gifted ARC
October 16, 2023
☾ 244/ 100
One of the most beautiful stories I've ever read that follows two different timelines. in 1999, the Kim family missed their mom, Sunny. She's been missing for over a year and just disappeared from their lives without a goodbye. That is until a man ends up dead under a fruit tree in their yard with a letter written to Sunny and the mystery of who this man is, why he's here, how he knows Sunny, and where Sunny went unfolds. The other timeline takes place in 1977 when Sunny and her husband John are immigrating from South Korea to Los Angeles for job opportunities and a better home to raise their children, but Sunny is frustrated. She misses Korea, she misses her family, and she misses the husband she had before he got obsessed with work.
With so many wonderful points about immigration, being an immigrant, and being a child of immigrants along with an intriguing mystery, the Kim family's story is unforgettable. I absolutely adored each and every character and Nany Jooyoun Kim's writing on top of that is outstanding. I can't even put how this book made me feel into words other than I didn't want to put it down and I almost cried on multiple occasions. If you want a book that will move you, yet frustrate you and keep you guessing, What We Kept to Ourselves is my go-to recommendation.
(Physical ARC received through being a Barnes & Noble bookseller, This title was released on October 10, 2023 from Atria Books!)
One of the most beautiful stories I've ever read that follows two different timelines. in 1999, the Kim family missed their mom, Sunny. She's been missing for over a year and just disappeared from their lives without a goodbye. That is until a man ends up dead under a fruit tree in their yard with a letter written to Sunny and the mystery of who this man is, why he's here, how he knows Sunny, and where Sunny went unfolds. The other timeline takes place in 1977 when Sunny and her husband John are immigrating from South Korea to Los Angeles for job opportunities and a better home to raise their children, but Sunny is frustrated. She misses Korea, she misses her family, and she misses the husband she had before he got obsessed with work.
With so many wonderful points about immigration, being an immigrant, and being a child of immigrants along with an intriguing mystery, the Kim family's story is unforgettable. I absolutely adored each and every character and Nany Jooyoun Kim's writing on top of that is outstanding. I can't even put how this book made me feel into words other than I didn't want to put it down and I almost cried on multiple occasions. If you want a book that will move you, yet frustrate you and keep you guessing, What We Kept to Ourselves is my go-to recommendation.
(Physical ARC received through being a Barnes & Noble bookseller, This title was released on October 10, 2023 from Atria Books!)
June 3, 2023
What We Kept to Ourselves by Nancy Jooyoun Kim. Thanks to @atriapub for the gifted Arc ⭐️⭐️⭐️
The Kim family struggles to move on since their matriarch, Sunny, disappeared. One evening a man dies in their backyard. The children investigate and it leads to secrets from their family history.
This is a pretty slow moving book. If you’re aware of that and can get into that style, definitely give it a try. It was a lot of substance to it. The character are well developed. The third person narrative is interesting and I loved the parts in 1999; the time I was graduating high school. There’s a lot to this book but you have to get through the pacing and some slow moments.
“Who was she to think that she deserved her own life? But some days she wanted, she yearned, to show and share something more - as if she had been trapped within a single chapter of a story.”
What We Kept to Ourselves comes out 10/10.
The Kim family struggles to move on since their matriarch, Sunny, disappeared. One evening a man dies in their backyard. The children investigate and it leads to secrets from their family history.
This is a pretty slow moving book. If you’re aware of that and can get into that style, definitely give it a try. It was a lot of substance to it. The character are well developed. The third person narrative is interesting and I loved the parts in 1999; the time I was graduating high school. There’s a lot to this book but you have to get through the pacing and some slow moments.
“Who was she to think that she deserved her own life? But some days she wanted, she yearned, to show and share something more - as if she had been trapped within a single chapter of a story.”
What We Kept to Ourselves comes out 10/10.
September 5, 2023
Starting in the 1970s Sunny and John Kim are Korean immigrants trying to live the “American Dream”. Jump to 1999, and Sunny has been missing for almost a year and they are facing the possibility of the world ending (Y2K). This story bounces from prospectives of multiple characters in different times to piece the story together. While I appreciate the view into what an immigrant family went through to survive overall the book was very difficult to read. There were lots of Korean words thrown in, some with explanations some not, and the general flow was hard to follow. By the end of the book it felt like the author was trying to cram every stereo type/controversy she could into the book, immigrant/racism, police brutality, mommy issues, daddy issues, murder, same sex relationship, divorce, it was just a lot. It took me 3 attempts and over a month to finally finish book and I honestly wish I had just left it in my never finished pile.
December 11, 2023
WHAT WE KEPT TO OURSELVES
Nancy Jooyoun kim
OMG, this should have been kept to herself. I finished it by the skin of my teeth. It was slow, so slow that it said almost nothing. It flashed forward and back and sideways, nobody had anything to say.
2 stars
Happy Reading!
Nancy Jooyoun kim
OMG, this should have been kept to herself. I finished it by the skin of my teeth. It was slow, so slow that it said almost nothing. It flashed forward and back and sideways, nobody had anything to say.
2 stars
Happy Reading!
September 28, 2023
What We Kept To Ourselves by Nancy Jooyoun Kim
Publishing Date - 10/10/23
Rating (4/5) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Thank you Netgalley and Atria Books for this eARC. What We Kept To Ourselves is about the Kim Family , living in LA , spanning from the 70s to the 90s. The matriarch , Sunny, disappears and a mysterious death occurs on the family’s property. This story is a story of love , loss , and secrets. What We Kept to Ourselves kept me engaged from the very beginning to the end! Highly recommend this one.
Publishing Date - 10/10/23
Rating (4/5) ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Thank you Netgalley and Atria Books for this eARC. What We Kept To Ourselves is about the Kim Family , living in LA , spanning from the 70s to the 90s. The matriarch , Sunny, disappears and a mysterious death occurs on the family’s property. This story is a story of love , loss , and secrets. What We Kept to Ourselves kept me engaged from the very beginning to the end! Highly recommend this one.
July 3, 2023
An extremely moving story that left me feeling raw. Families torn apart and brought together. Love and intimacy found in unexpected places and the life-altering impact others can have on you. I could feel the plight and pain each of the characters experienced; the pressure and expectations of how one "should" live in America as an immigrant/refugee. I fell in love with this book and I imagine I will be thinking of this one often. It's made it into my favorite books of 2023, easily, but I think it might be one of my favorite books ever.
I received this for free as a panel member of the 2023 Golden Poppy Awards. All thoughts are my own of course 💁🏻♀️
I received this for free as a panel member of the 2023 Golden Poppy Awards. All thoughts are my own of course 💁🏻♀️
September 29, 2023
Kim has crafted a mystery-tinged family drama here, but I couldn't help but compare it to Happiness Falls, another book with a very similar premise I read recently and has become a favorite book of the year. I felt like that prevented me from enjoying this one as much as I should have, because that book was so strong for me and this ended up just feeling like a less tense and less emotional version of a similar story. it's a well written and solid story but i felt like it moved through characters too quickly, and some of their actions made me scratch my head when compared to their established personalities.
October 9, 2023
Simmering, dramatic, and sensitive!
What We Kept to Ourselves is a tender, compelling tale that sweeps you away to Los Angeles between the 1970s and 1999 and into the lives of the Korean-American Kim family as they grapple with the disappearance of the matriarch one year ago, the sudden discovery of a dead man in their backyard in possession of a letter addressed to their missing mother, and all the wounds, secrets, tears, and hurt that seem to have swirled around them forever.
The prose is fluid and smooth. The characters are bitter, troubled, and flawed. And the plot, using flashbacks and a back-and-forth style, is a captivating tale about life, loss, heartache, guilt, love, secrets, revelations, acceptance, familial drama, friendship, hope, racism, misogyny, corruption, forgiveness, introspection, and generational trauma, all interlaced with a sliver of mystery.
Overall, What We Kept to Ourselves is a heartfelt, multilayered, timely tale by Nancy Jooyoun Kim that reminds us that families are complicated and messy, the choices we make often have far-reaching consequences, and secrets often find their way to the surface no matter how well they’re buried.
Thank you to Simon & Schuster Canada for gifting me a copy in exchange for an honest review.
What We Kept to Ourselves is a tender, compelling tale that sweeps you away to Los Angeles between the 1970s and 1999 and into the lives of the Korean-American Kim family as they grapple with the disappearance of the matriarch one year ago, the sudden discovery of a dead man in their backyard in possession of a letter addressed to their missing mother, and all the wounds, secrets, tears, and hurt that seem to have swirled around them forever.
The prose is fluid and smooth. The characters are bitter, troubled, and flawed. And the plot, using flashbacks and a back-and-forth style, is a captivating tale about life, loss, heartache, guilt, love, secrets, revelations, acceptance, familial drama, friendship, hope, racism, misogyny, corruption, forgiveness, introspection, and generational trauma, all interlaced with a sliver of mystery.
Overall, What We Kept to Ourselves is a heartfelt, multilayered, timely tale by Nancy Jooyoun Kim that reminds us that families are complicated and messy, the choices we make often have far-reaching consequences, and secrets often find their way to the surface no matter how well they’re buried.
Thank you to Simon & Schuster Canada for gifting me a copy in exchange for an honest review.
March 12, 2024
I loved this dual timeline story about a family's search for answers after their mother disappears a year ago, and then a body shows up in their backyard carrying a letter to her, and they do not know who this person is. This was such a great read, showing what all can happen when secrets are kept from close family members for decades, and how learning the truth can somehow bring them all back together.
Thank you to Simon Audio and Edelweiss for the copies to review.
Thank you to Simon Audio and Edelweiss for the copies to review.
September 28, 2024
I was a huge fan of The Last Story of Mina Lee, so I was excited to see what Nancy Jooyoun Kim's sophomore novel What We Kept to Ourselves would bring. This was a slow-burn character-driven work of literary fiction with a mystery element, and while I loved the end and the twists, I don't think it needed to be almost 400 pages. It also moved too slowly for my liking and felt repetitive, but only as far as the same topics being brought up repeatedly. I did appreciate the subject of Agent Orange, and knowing someone who was in the Vietnam War and hearing stories about it previously, made that part really stand out for me even though that piece was relatively small.
I listened to the audiobook and really enjoyed Jennifer Kim as the narrator, but I would have appreciated a full cast for the various viewpoints. That wasn't a huge deal for me, but something I want to point out all the same. Honestly, I was close to a DNF multiple times, but the audiobook kept me going and I HAD to find out what happened with Sunny. I will admit that my attention wandered quite a bit almost the entire time I was listening to What We Kept to Ourselves, but in no way should this stop you from reading. I am definitely in the minority here and did enjoy multiple things including the exploration of secrets. If you enjoy slow burns and character studies with a focus on other cultures, I would still recommend giving this a go.
Thank you to the publishers and Libro.fm for my complimentary listening and reader copies of this book. All opinions and thoughts are my own.
I listened to the audiobook and really enjoyed Jennifer Kim as the narrator, but I would have appreciated a full cast for the various viewpoints. That wasn't a huge deal for me, but something I want to point out all the same. Honestly, I was close to a DNF multiple times, but the audiobook kept me going and I HAD to find out what happened with Sunny. I will admit that my attention wandered quite a bit almost the entire time I was listening to What We Kept to Ourselves, but in no way should this stop you from reading. I am definitely in the minority here and did enjoy multiple things including the exploration of secrets. If you enjoy slow burns and character studies with a focus on other cultures, I would still recommend giving this a go.
Thank you to the publishers and Libro.fm for my complimentary listening and reader copies of this book. All opinions and thoughts are my own.
July 7, 2023
I received this eARC in return for an honest review. Huge thanks to NetGalley and Atria Books, I have voluntarily read and reviewed it and all thoughts and opinions are my own.
October 1, 2023
Sorry to say, this novel just didn’t do it for me. Kim’s writing needs editing at the very least, on many levels, starting from the stand point if what to include and what to leave out. The author seems to have a need to include everything that may have had an impact on Sunny and John, emotionally, culturally, and politically, As well as on her children. It is all too much, and told rather than shown.
The language is also jarring , sometimes showing racism strangely- as The altitude/artitude example (why??) and as the author interjects an abundance of swearing in the scene with Jacob and Ronald - so strange, as a way to show contemporary culture - even though the characters were two decades apart in age? Very confusing. Where is the authorial voice here? It’s all over the place.
I felt for the characters, as we were supposed to, but none of it rang true as characterizations. I couldn’t grasp who Ana was or Priscilla or Janet or the myriad of other characters we are introduced to and then are dropped. Sunny, RJ, and John are clear. but there is too much in the plot and exposition to engage us with their plight. The book drags as a result. It’s an interesting premise, but the execution is too flawed to carry along this reader.
Thanks to Atria Books and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
The language is also jarring , sometimes showing racism strangely- as The altitude/artitude example (why??) and as the author interjects an abundance of swearing in the scene with Jacob and Ronald - so strange, as a way to show contemporary culture - even though the characters were two decades apart in age? Very confusing. Where is the authorial voice here? It’s all over the place.
I felt for the characters, as we were supposed to, but none of it rang true as characterizations. I couldn’t grasp who Ana was or Priscilla or Janet or the myriad of other characters we are introduced to and then are dropped. Sunny, RJ, and John are clear. but there is too much in the plot and exposition to engage us with their plight. The book drags as a result. It’s an interesting premise, but the execution is too flawed to carry along this reader.
Thanks to Atria Books and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
October 7, 2023
3.75 stars.
What We Kept To Ourselves is a novel about Sunny, John, Ronald and Ana, a Korean immigrant family in America. The family is reeling from the recent mysterious disappearance of Sunny, when a stranger is found dead in the Kims’ backyard, carrying a letter to Sunny. Who is this man and how did he know Sunny? What role did he play in her disappearance? What secrets was Sunny hiding? What happened to her?
Spanning two different timelines, this is a story of secrets, lies, the effects of war (the Korean War), trauma, racism, and the immigrant experience in America. There is a lot packed into this family saga and while it is well written, the story is very slow-moving and it took until almost near the 70% mark to pick up the pace with respect to unearthing the mystery around the murdered man and Sunny’s disappearance. I can appreciate the many positives/strengths of this story - the beautiful writing, the character development, and the themes touched upon - but the slow pacing really hindered my full engagement with the story.
Thanks to Simon and Schuster for this complimentary copy. All opinions are my own.
What We Kept To Ourselves is a novel about Sunny, John, Ronald and Ana, a Korean immigrant family in America. The family is reeling from the recent mysterious disappearance of Sunny, when a stranger is found dead in the Kims’ backyard, carrying a letter to Sunny. Who is this man and how did he know Sunny? What role did he play in her disappearance? What secrets was Sunny hiding? What happened to her?
Spanning two different timelines, this is a story of secrets, lies, the effects of war (the Korean War), trauma, racism, and the immigrant experience in America. There is a lot packed into this family saga and while it is well written, the story is very slow-moving and it took until almost near the 70% mark to pick up the pace with respect to unearthing the mystery around the murdered man and Sunny’s disappearance. I can appreciate the many positives/strengths of this story - the beautiful writing, the character development, and the themes touched upon - but the slow pacing really hindered my full engagement with the story.
Thanks to Simon and Schuster for this complimentary copy. All opinions are my own.
October 30, 2023
My last read of October was the latest from Nancy Jooyoun Kim, What We Kept to Ourselves. I really loved the vibe of this novel. It was a little dark, kinda twisty, super mysterious, and slower paced. It’s honestly the perfect book for fall. It reminded me a little of Angie Kim’s latest novel, Happiness Falls. Mostly because both books involve a missing parent, and the remaining family members are left scrambling to put the puzzle pieces together. But this one has an extra little twist—a deceased man was recently found in their backyard. Was this just a freaky coincidence? Or is this dead body linked to the disappearance of their mother? I was invested in the plot and characters instantly, but did feel that the novel was a tad too long. Either way, the author’s writing style held my attention from start to finish.
READ THIS IF YOU ENJOY:
- Immigrant stories
- 1990s timeline
- Los Angeles setting
- Slow-burning mysteries
- Family drama & secrets
- Themes of marriage and motherhood
- Korean culture and cuisine
If you do decide to pick this one up, I highly recommend the audiobook. This was such an easy and satisfying listen for me as it was very slow-moving, and narrated impeccably by Jennifer Kim. 3.5/5 stars for What We Kept to Ourselves! It’s out now!
READ THIS IF YOU ENJOY:
- Immigrant stories
- 1990s timeline
- Los Angeles setting
- Slow-burning mysteries
- Family drama & secrets
- Themes of marriage and motherhood
- Korean culture and cuisine
If you do decide to pick this one up, I highly recommend the audiobook. This was such an easy and satisfying listen for me as it was very slow-moving, and narrated impeccably by Jennifer Kim. 3.5/5 stars for What We Kept to Ourselves! It’s out now!
June 18, 2024
This may be the worst book I’ve ever read in my life and that’s saying something because I’m an immigrant female to the US who arrived with $20 in her pocket, landed in LA and scraped for years to make a great life for myself getting a regular job and becoming the best at it, nothing entertainment related. The most annoying thing about this book was the author making immigrant characters, who had chosen to leave their home countries and easily could have returned if it was so terrible, victims. The endless whining and complaining and longing to go back. Good grief. If you want something different, CHOOSE something different. It really is that simple.
Instead we got endless words, so many unnecessary words droning on and on and on, that made the story almost incoherent. We got whining. We got every woke trend you could imagine: like she was checking off a list sent over by the editor. I’ve never been so exhausted and annoyed. I gave it one star bc it’s a feat that this thing was published in the first place.
Instead we got endless words, so many unnecessary words droning on and on and on, that made the story almost incoherent. We got whining. We got every woke trend you could imagine: like she was checking off a list sent over by the editor. I’ve never been so exhausted and annoyed. I gave it one star bc it’s a feat that this thing was published in the first place.
June 12, 2024
This author did my biggest pet peeve — became so busy chasing being “literary” that she lost the plot.
I nearly DNFed this one, but every time I was about to set it aside I would get a hint of a good story line. Unfortunately, the hints were all there was.
The framework was great — mother disappears and random homeless man is killed a year later in their yard clutching a letter addressed to her — but it just didn’t deliver.
Instead of a good mystery, I was lectured about the trauma of war, PTSD, family dysfunction, racial injustice, the plight of immigrants, social pressures, parent-child relationships, the meaning of art, jealousy, marriage struggles, the importance of making meals together, and on and on and on. I could have handled a few of those, but didn’t need them all. In fact, I was just hoping for a good story with some well developed characters and was left disappointed.
I nearly DNFed this one, but every time I was about to set it aside I would get a hint of a good story line. Unfortunately, the hints were all there was.
The framework was great — mother disappears and random homeless man is killed a year later in their yard clutching a letter addressed to her — but it just didn’t deliver.
Instead of a good mystery, I was lectured about the trauma of war, PTSD, family dysfunction, racial injustice, the plight of immigrants, social pressures, parent-child relationships, the meaning of art, jealousy, marriage struggles, the importance of making meals together, and on and on and on. I could have handled a few of those, but didn’t need them all. In fact, I was just hoping for a good story with some well developed characters and was left disappointed.
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July 8, 2023I am about 40% through this book and unfortunately decided to not finish this one.
It is a bit difficult for me to understand the book's contents; it is not horrible, it is simply that I do not think this book is for me. yet I believe this book will be more fascinating to readers who favor historical fiction than I am. Who knows, maybe the next time I try to read it, I will be more drawn in.
Huge thanks to NetGalley and Atria Books for the opportunity to read this book..
It is a bit difficult for me to understand the book's contents; it is not horrible, it is simply that I do not think this book is for me. yet I believe this book will be more fascinating to readers who favor historical fiction than I am. Who knows, maybe the next time I try to read it, I will be more drawn in.
Huge thanks to NetGalley and Atria Books for the opportunity to read this book..
August 14, 2023
I feel like every Asian kid would benefit from reading this. I will say that it was slightly hard to get through because there were so many switching POV’s and characters introduced at once. I also felt like there was some gaps and just the way it ended left me unsatisfied. However, the dynamics in an Asian family- an Asian immigrant family were captured beautifully.
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