Chocolate Lizards

by Cole Thompson

Now a major motion picture!
Erwin 'Harvard' Vandeer has run out of luck. After failing as an actor in Hollywood, he heads home for Boston, but when he loses all of his cash in a poker game, he finds himself stranded in dusty Abilene, Texas. However, all is not lost. Harvard meets rough and tumble oilman Merle Luskey who takes him in and puts him to work. Except working for Merle may not exactly be the stroke of luck he was hoping for.
Merle, teetering on the precipice of foreclosure, pins all his hopes on a new oil discovery to save his skin and stave off the ruthless bank. The stage is set for Harvard and Merle to embark on a high-stakes, rib-tickling adventure through the Lone Star State. They say everything's bigger in Texas, and Accidental Texan proves it right. Bigger laughter, bigger action, and an even bigger story.

Genres: Fiction

268 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 15, 1999

Reviews

[Tom Mooney · Rating 3 out of 5]

A wild, fun, fast page turner. But not the highest quality.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

As I was browsing in the library, the name caught my attention, the cover drew me in, and the front flap description guaranteed that I took this book home. It is not what I usually read, but I really enjoyed the characters, and the situations. Very satisfying book about an innocent but stranded traveler, and eccentric but determined wildcatter in the oil business, and some very beautiful and unique cowboy boots.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I randomly picked up this book and loved it. It's about a couple roughneckers(or whatever you call people who drill for oil)from TEXAS. Freaking hilarious. If I produced movies I would totally make this into a movie. I'd case Vince Vaughn for sure. Read a long time ago..wold like to re-read.

[Kayla J. · Rating 2 out of 5]

I started reading this ironically because of the movie that recently came out, but I ended up getting invested until the character Tex-Ann was introduced. There was a super long chapter in the book that included her and it was basically porn.. so that’s nice. It was very off-putting and also unnecessary. I ended up skipping the chapter and didn’t lose any plot. It was just gross.

I don’t know if she turned me off or what, but the story became uninteresting after that. The protagonist is the only likeable character in the story tbh.

Rare moment where the cheap film is a lot better than the cheap story.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

Nice light and quick summer read

[Kennedy Spitzer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eh. Really cinematic though.

[Keith · Rating 3 out of 5]

Finished CHOCOLATE LIZARDS (1999), a novel by McMurry University's English professor, Cole Thompson. Drawing upon Thompson's experience as an oilfield hand, the novel is a humorous, crude, ribald coming-of-age story about a down-on-his-luck college graduate, Erwin, who is serendipitously befriended by Merle, a crazed, whiskey-drinking west Texas wildcatter. The novel was adapted for the 2023 movie starring Rudy Pankow and Thomas Haden Church, though I imagined the parts being played by Matthew Broderick and Slim Pickens. A large enthusiastic audience welcomed the film's premier at Abilene's historic Paramount Theater.

[Dave · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the better books I have read this year. Far from a literary masterpiece, this is the story of a guy on his way home to Boston. He loses all his money in a card game and winds up stranded in Abilene, Texas. He is befriended by a Jack Daniels guzzeling man who owns a drilling company and gives him a job as a roughneck. Turns out the bank is about to foreclose on the company. A crooked sheriff, heartless banker and grizzled roughnecks add to the array of characters as they devise a plan to get the money needed to pay the bank. Very good book.

[Dan Piette]

West Texas Oil Bidness

[Catherine · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good read, shame the rest of the book didn't live up to the fantastic opening chapter.

[Steven Law · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very funny, enjoyable read.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Growing up in Texas and living with a father in the oil bidness, this was a laugh out loud story for me. The colloquialisms are spot on.