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The Future of Your Only Child: How to Guide Your Child to a Happy and Successful Life
One-child households havedoubled over the last two decades making it one of the fastest growing family units in America. Expert Carl Pickhardt aids families in understanding the common traits of many adult 'onlies'--like shyness, perfection, and intolerance--so that they can better prepare for potential outcomes. He also celebrates the positive qualities of only children and how to encourage characteristics like thoughtfulness, creativity, and ambition. Pickhardt shed new light on issues that many only-child families encounter such as: -attachment problems -conflicts between only child and parent -performance anxiety -unusually high personal expectations -feelings of entitlement -dependence -problems with risk-takingWith a distinctive focus on long-term effects, this book will help refine and improve daily parenting methods. Parents will welcome these insightful guidelines for the formative influence they wish to provide.
- GenresParentingNonfiction
256 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 4, 2008
4 people are currently reading
172 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
January 4, 2011
I think it's good that a book like this was written, because I do feel that raising an only child is a very different experience and comes with it's own set of challenges. There's also a bucket load of articles about raising and being an only child which I found interesting and to be a good supplement to Pickhardt's book:
"The problem with only children" by Julia McKinnell published in Macleans (where the author of this book is interviewed).
"Apologia to My Second Child" by John Hodgman in Psychology Today
"Why Only-Children Rule" by Kathleen Deveny in Newsweek
"Only child - a unique inhertance" by Ann Richardson in Therapy Today
Only Doesn't Mean Lonely by Jeffrey Kluger in Time magazine.
I found Pickhardt to still be tad focused on the older stereotypes of only children. In some cases it almost felt like he was scolding you for having made the choice, as if to say "well, you've made this decision so now you're going to have to deal with the consequences". It could be that I'm a little too sensitive because I often worry what effects being an only child might have on my son, so perhaps I was looking for more reassurance that he's going to be fine. Instead, since reading this book, I find myself analyzing my child's behavior in terms of being an only child, kind of on an obsessive level. He'll through a tantrum and the first thing I'll think is "Oh know! That's typical only child syndrome!" when maybe I should just be taking things a little less seriously and see my son as any other typical four year old learning his boundaries. Yet, I'm still glad I read through the book and would still recommend it simply because I think it's a good idea for parents to be aware of the unique challenges involved with raising an only child. I guess,in the end, it's not that I don't find the research and suggestions in the book to be truthful or helpful, I'm just a little sensitive to his tone and think it could of been written a little better.
"The problem with only children" by Julia McKinnell published in Macleans (where the author of this book is interviewed).
"Apologia to My Second Child" by John Hodgman in Psychology Today
"Why Only-Children Rule" by Kathleen Deveny in Newsweek
"Only child - a unique inhertance" by Ann Richardson in Therapy Today
Only Doesn't Mean Lonely by Jeffrey Kluger in Time magazine.
I found Pickhardt to still be tad focused on the older stereotypes of only children. In some cases it almost felt like he was scolding you for having made the choice, as if to say "well, you've made this decision so now you're going to have to deal with the consequences". It could be that I'm a little too sensitive because I often worry what effects being an only child might have on my son, so perhaps I was looking for more reassurance that he's going to be fine. Instead, since reading this book, I find myself analyzing my child's behavior in terms of being an only child, kind of on an obsessive level. He'll through a tantrum and the first thing I'll think is "Oh know! That's typical only child syndrome!" when maybe I should just be taking things a little less seriously and see my son as any other typical four year old learning his boundaries. Yet, I'm still glad I read through the book and would still recommend it simply because I think it's a good idea for parents to be aware of the unique challenges involved with raising an only child. I guess,in the end, it's not that I don't find the research and suggestions in the book to be truthful or helpful, I'm just a little sensitive to his tone and think it could of been written a little better.
November 24, 2012
One of the best parenting books I have read. It seems like most parenting books talk about how to approach work ethics, discipline, or overall parenting styles.
This book talks about all family sizes have pros and cons. It's important to accept the pros and cons of your family size and actively work to counterbalance the potential negatives.
This book outlines all the potential negative character traits that can come from a family of 3 (children from larger families can also develop these same traits but this book focuses on the dynamics of a family of 3 and within this family structure how to avoid the negative aspects).
I love how each chapter of this book focuses of a potential character trait of your child. It talks about the pros and cons of that character trait and how to avoid the negative aspects of that trait.
I took a ton of notes from each chapter with suggestions on things we can do, habits to start, trends to avoid. By far the most helpful parenting book I have read.
This book talks about all family sizes have pros and cons. It's important to accept the pros and cons of your family size and actively work to counterbalance the potential negatives.
This book outlines all the potential negative character traits that can come from a family of 3 (children from larger families can also develop these same traits but this book focuses on the dynamics of a family of 3 and within this family structure how to avoid the negative aspects).
I love how each chapter of this book focuses of a potential character trait of your child. It talks about the pros and cons of that character trait and how to avoid the negative aspects of that trait.
I took a ton of notes from each chapter with suggestions on things we can do, habits to start, trends to avoid. By far the most helpful parenting book I have read.
September 20, 2012
This is really more of a reference book at this point. It is geared towards parents of teenagers not 5 year olds. I have set it aside for now.
July 29, 2019
Didn't agree totally with everything but definitely able to get a different perspective!
December 30, 2023
A lot of really good and practical advice here. Interesting general information on the psychology of birth order. Will probably revisit this one again later in adolescence.
January 12, 2013
I had to wade through a lot that wasn't applicable - either to my family or to our stage in development, but still - there was some thought provoking stuff. I was looking for a push in a certain direction to help my only child grow up as happy as she can. Who can ever be sure (?!) but advice in this book could get me there. It isn't easy to follow of course. (Just because I know I shouldn't worry about or overprotect her because she will grow up less confident doesn't mean I can actually do it!)
This book seems to have much more to say about the teenage years and upwards - which is consistent with Pickhardt's specialties.
This book seems to have much more to say about the teenage years and upwards - which is consistent with Pickhardt's specialties.
July 13, 2009
I didn't get all the way through this because it wasn't very helpful to me. The generalizations about only children, and parents who decide to have just one, read a little like newspaper astrology. Yes, my kiddo likes routines and planning -- but don't most 3-year-olds? And I didn't find the practical advice to be as helpful as some other reviewers, because it seemed to be geared to parents of 'tweens and teens.
That said, I would still like to read about the psychological impacts of growing up as an only and I welcome suggestions.
That said, I would still like to read about the psychological impacts of growing up as an only and I welcome suggestions.
Read
August 19, 2008Sensible. has a recap at the end of every chapter. Ideas I can use. HIs tone is very supportive.
Read
January 10, 2015Eh.
Maybe only children shouldn't read books about only children.
Maybe only children shouldn't read books about only children.
February 2, 2013
Very informative but not a lot of solutions are included.
May 2, 2017
This book looks at 15 qualities of only children; each chapter is a different quality, such as willfulness, ambition, sensitivity.
I had seen some reviews that the author seemed biased towards bigger families, but I didn't feel that way.
I would say the main take away is that only children get a concentrated dose of your parenting philosophy, because there are no siblings to mediate you. That seems fair. And so most of the advice seems like a reminder of parenting advice you'd get in other books, but highlighted in a way to remind you that it's extra relevant in an only child context.
It helped me see family dynamics more clearly. I will probably rely on other parenting books for the actual philosophy of parenting, because the advice given in this book seems more relevant for older children and teenagers. Glad I read it, but I ended up stopping before I finished. I liked it enough that I will return to it if there's a particular question that arises.
I had seen some reviews that the author seemed biased towards bigger families, but I didn't feel that way.
I would say the main take away is that only children get a concentrated dose of your parenting philosophy, because there are no siblings to mediate you. That seems fair. And so most of the advice seems like a reminder of parenting advice you'd get in other books, but highlighted in a way to remind you that it's extra relevant in an only child context.
It helped me see family dynamics more clearly. I will probably rely on other parenting books for the actual philosophy of parenting, because the advice given in this book seems more relevant for older children and teenagers. Glad I read it, but I ended up stopping before I finished. I liked it enough that I will return to it if there's a particular question that arises.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews