Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat Out

by Jim Burns

Are you struggling to connect with your child now that they've left the nest? Are you feeling the tension and heartache as your relationship dynamic begins to change? In Doing Life with Your Adult Children, bestselling author and parenting expert Jim Burns provides practical advice and hopeful encouragement for navigating this tough yet rewarding transition.

If you've raised a child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when they turn eighteen. In many ways, your relationship gets even more complicated--your heart and your head are as involved as ever, but you can feel things shifting, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact.

Doing Life with Your Adult Children helps you navigate this rich and challenging season of parenting. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to the most common questions he's received over the years,

My child's choices are breaking my heart--where did I go wrong?Is it OK to give advice to my grown child?What's the difference between enabling and helping?What boundaries should I have if my child moves back home?What do I do when my child doesn't seem to be maturing into adulthood?How do I relate to my grown child's significant other?What does it mean to have healthy financial boundaries?How can I support my grown children when I don't support their values?

Including positive principles on bringing kids back to faith, ideas on how to leave a legacy as a grandparent, and encouragement for every changing season, Doing Life with Your Adult Children is a unique book on your changing role in a calling that never ends.

Audible Audio

Published March 26, 2019

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.

Jim Burns, Ph.D., President of HomeWord is the host of the HomeWord with Jim Burns daily half-hour, daily one-minute, and weekly half-hour radio programs. His passion is communicating to adults and young people practical truths to help them live out their Christian lives.

Jim is the author of many resources including his latest books The Purity Code: God’s Plan for Sex and Your Body, Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality and Accept Nothing Less: God’s Best for Your Body, Mind and Heart. In recent years, he has also written Confident Parenting and Creating an Intimate Marriage which are available in audio CDs, books, and small group curriculum kits; The 10 Building Blocks for a Happy Family; Devotions on the Run; and Parenting Teenagers for Positive Results kit. Since 1985, HomeWord has been assisting parents and churches worldwide through radio, resources, seminars, and the web at www.homeword.com. Jim writes monthly columns for Ignite Your Faith magazine and Simply Youth Ministry newsletter and website.

Reviews

[Bird Barnes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audio.

A book of examples of the parent-adult child role and how boundaries, advice, and support change and quick tips to foster independence, confidence, and love.

Very Christian, focused on managing when your child strays from your values: homosexuality, premarital cohabitation, financial dependence, drugs…

A lot of the examples followed the model:
1. I don’t approve of my child’s choices/lifestyle
2. My therapist (author) says to give support but set boundaries and demonstrate compassion.
3. Turns out I was right about the issue and I haven’t damaged my relationship with my kid. I’ve let them learn for themselves.


(Wish I had known this was a Christian relationships book, but pretty good advice… Wrong audience though)

[Sabrina · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was a quick audiobook listen but I had to listen with a notebook and pen as I was taking notes. While not everything applied to my situation, relationships, or personality... there were some really good nuggets of information that is helping me to implement as well as to keep in mind as I navigate this new phase with my adult children. There is Biblical bases for everything but it doesn't beat you over the head with it and definitely worth a try no matter what your belief as you might find some helpful things to discuss or mull over for yourself.

[Jovita Villanueva · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book offers such great advice grounded in Christian faith and principles. It was such a great audio book that I ended up purchasing the book and have told many friends who are living this stage of life with their children all about it.

[Elaine · Rating 5 out of 5]

There is a lot of helpful information in this book. In some cases, it was just nice to have things reinforced.

[Angela Ruh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full of helpful information and great reminders.

[Michele · Rating 3 out of 5]

Heavy on the Christianity but also solid advice

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good read but much of this I guess I already knew. Just more of an affirmation and good advice on talking about money early with your kids.

[Bryan Tanner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written primarily for enabling parents.

Solid advice for all parents.

Most interesting idea: any unsolicited suggestions from parents are viewed as criticism by default.