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189 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 18, 2023
A spooky, bite-sized collection of stories about a thoroughly abhorrent house that eats people alive—mind and body. Can be surprisingly funny but it’s a ploy to lure you into a false sense of security.
While the first half is a novella, the rest of it is a series of short stories taking place sometime before, after, or between the events of that opening. Or maybe time itself is also affected by the malicious beaft that is Posthaste. It will take some tinkering on your part to get a proper (ish) storyline down. Also, as a surreal “weird horror” deal, there will be wild imagery that you can either take at face value or deconstruct to your heart’s content (and of course, things like incest and weird sex and the occult).
Since it’s a collection of short stories in the second half, you’re likely going to enjoy some tales more than others. I'll rattle off some opinions on my favorites real quick:
This House Is A Furious Body is the novella, a good time overall. Two people buy the house (one before the other) to escape an abusive boyfriend and because he got a new job and has always dreamed of doing big things, respectively. The house gets into their very different brains in different ways and horrors ensue. This one’s interesting in that it’s ending is... good-ish? A part of it, anyway.
Real Estate is a story formatted like a realtor’s house listing, complete with an absurd set of rules for viewing and/or living in Posthaste safely. Darkly humorous!
Credit in the Straight World, it’s focused more so on the horrors of real life than the evil house. The “refurbished Acer laptop” line jumped off the page and smacked me in the face lol.
Unconscious Coupling is my favorite. The play-adjacent formatting of it lends itself very well to comedy (my personal flavor of it, at least). I love that Posthaste gets its own “lines”, and the burnt lady is also pretty neat.
Miss Mutilate’s Husbands had me worried it was going for a “evil woman who doesn’t want to have kids kills her husbands and does occult stuff because she’s evil” shtick but it was not so. Like Credit in the Straight World, this one has a focus on real-life horrors, but differs in that plenty of supernatural stuff occurs as well.
Speaking of the manor, Posthaste is a character all its own and the stories often treat it as such. It might be haunted by an asshole ghost, asshole ghosts, a “dog,” and/or “rats.” It preys on the tasty little synaptic firings of its inhabitants, tempting them to do heinous or strange or foolish things (usually a combo of the three) to either make themselves, others, or both become One With the House.
Got an abusive boyfriend?
Did a friend of yours get brutally murdered when you were a kid?
Maybe you’re a stereotypically snooty cat who really hates this one guy your human keeps bringing over?
Hell, maybe there’s nothing wrong with you at all when you first get there.
Posthaste will make do with any- and everything to disastrous effects, if not for the main character, then somebody…
If you want to spend a sitting or two poring over some wicked stories about a mean house, this is a good time! Heed the triggers at the back, though. The house is a nasty place, and so is its origin story.