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Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People: Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships as an Adult Child of Emotionally Immature Parents
If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met or dismissed—and you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, and abandonment. As an adult, you have fought hard to establish your own sense of self, and heal the wounds caused by your upbringing.
But what about other emotionally immature people (EIP) in your life? As an adult child of an emotionally immature parent (ACEIP), you may be particularly vulnerable to EIPs. If you're tired of being emotionally hijacked by EIPs, this handbook can help you avoid common traps, build confidence, and stand strong.
This guide provides solutions to help you manage relationships with any emotionally immature person. You'll find practical insights and explorations into the most common challenges ACEIPs face, and practical guidance to help set boundaries and establish healthier relationships. You'll learn to handle difficult interactions with EIPs, understand their responses, and transform your relationships.
With this handbook, you'll understand how EIPs function, shift your own perspective, and stand up for yourself.
But what about other emotionally immature people (EIP) in your life? As an adult child of an emotionally immature parent (ACEIP), you may be particularly vulnerable to EIPs. If you're tired of being emotionally hijacked by EIPs, this handbook can help you avoid common traps, build confidence, and stand strong.
This guide provides solutions to help you manage relationships with any emotionally immature person. You'll find practical insights and explorations into the most common challenges ACEIPs face, and practical guidance to help set boundaries and establish healthier relationships. You'll learn to handle difficult interactions with EIPs, understand their responses, and transform your relationships.
With this handbook, you'll understand how EIPs function, shift your own perspective, and stand up for yourself.
10 pages, Audible Audio
First published July 1, 2023
494 people are currently reading
6988 people want to read
About the author
Lindsay C. Gibson
24 books1,240 followersDr. Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, is a New York Times bestselling author and licensed clinical psychologist with over thirty years of experience. She holds degrees from Central Michigan University and the Virginia Consortium Program in Clinical Psychology. Dr. Gibson, author of the bestselling book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, has been featured in The New York Times and The Washington Post, appeared on major podcasts like Mel Robbins and Ten Percent Happier, and been featured by many TikTok book clubs. She speaks regularly at conferences such as the National Association of Social Workers Conference and Psychotherapy Networker Conference.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 166 reviews
December 15, 2024
This book has been absolutely life-changing. I plan to read it again next year to refresh the information and check in with myself. Using the tools from this and the original book has completely transformed how I interact with my family, bringing me so much peace. It took me months to finish because every chapter made me sob, but it was so worth it.
June 14, 2023
Favorite Quote: Integrity is meaningless when your highest good lies in your immediate advantage of the moment. Integrity can’t be sustained in a person who privileges their feelings over factual reality.
The fourth book in Gibson’s Emotionally Immature series, Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People, expands the discussion from parents to all emotionally immature people in your life. In previous books, Gibson outlined what emotionally immature parents acted like and how that may have affected you as a child. Then, she extrapolates by sharing common behaviors and thought patterns of adult children of emotionally immature parents. Now, Gibson helps you look at many of the types of emotionally immature people you may encounter and gives you reflections and exercises to help deal with those personalities more effectively.
From the first book, I was able to see how the discussion around EI parents could apply to any EI adult. This book, Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People, goes much deeper into the behaviors and reactions of EI people to equip you with ways of dealing with them. Ultimately, Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People is about setting boundaries and allowing you the space to reflect on how your boundaries are right for you, not the EI person. Anyone dealing with draining family members, friends, colleagues, or neighbors will greatly benefit from reading this - or any - of Dr Gibson’s books!
The fourth book in Gibson’s Emotionally Immature series, Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People, expands the discussion from parents to all emotionally immature people in your life. In previous books, Gibson outlined what emotionally immature parents acted like and how that may have affected you as a child. Then, she extrapolates by sharing common behaviors and thought patterns of adult children of emotionally immature parents. Now, Gibson helps you look at many of the types of emotionally immature people you may encounter and gives you reflections and exercises to help deal with those personalities more effectively.
From the first book, I was able to see how the discussion around EI parents could apply to any EI adult. This book, Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People, goes much deeper into the behaviors and reactions of EI people to equip you with ways of dealing with them. Ultimately, Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People is about setting boundaries and allowing you the space to reflect on how your boundaries are right for you, not the EI person. Anyone dealing with draining family members, friends, colleagues, or neighbors will greatly benefit from reading this - or any - of Dr Gibson’s books!
May 6, 2023
If you’ve read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, by Dr. Lindsay Gibson, there isn’t a whole lot new to this book, BUT unlike the other books by this author on the topic, this book is set up like a workbook which is very new to Dr. Gibson’s books. This book is full of short, approachable sections highlighting a single trait or case study of an emotionally immature person. Though the idea is to recognize the EIP’s you’ve gravitated towards as a result of being raise by an EIP, many of the case studies do involve the parents. That being said, the case studies are so multifaceted and diverse that everyone can find helpful insights here. Each chapter ends with strategies and tips for navigating similar situations as well as som questions designed for further consideration about the EIPs you’re working to disentangle from. If you don’t necessarily have EIPs who baffle and bewilder you that you feel the need to disentangle from, you may not find this book as helpful.
I personally would recommend approaching this book with a separate journal so you can return to this book over and over and also, so you can consider multiple EIPs as you’re working through it.
I’d like to thank New Harbinger Publications and NetGalley for the advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest feedback. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
I personally would recommend approaching this book with a separate journal so you can return to this book over and over and also, so you can consider multiple EIPs as you’re working through it.
I’d like to thank New Harbinger Publications and NetGalley for the advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest feedback. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
September 21, 2023
I started off skeptical on this book. I thought it would be like some other boundaries books I've read recently that didn't feel like they had much that was new for me. I expected this might be like that. Another thing that I disliked and continued to somewhat dislike throughout the book is the whole concept of the EIP -- the emotionally immature person. I know some people truly are dealing with such black and white villains. But that's not my experience. All the people that I struggle with ARE empathetic, ARE able to see me as a person, ARE willing to look at themselves and take responsibility...sometimes. That's why I thought this book may not have much to offer me.
Boy was I wrong. It was VERY eye opening for me. I've already read
Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend (ignoring the Biblical stuff, it's my favorite)
Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab (which talks about how difficult it is to set the boundaries)
and most of the other books I've read about boundaries didn't feel like they moved me up to the next level. Once I discovered the concept of boundaries, I often felt like I'm being challenged with graduate level boundary problems while still being at the 101 course level. After a few years, I felt like I got a basic degree in Boundaries but was still struggling. I was not expecting this book to be so profoundly helpful and insightful (especially because I do not consider that I have relationships with essentially emotionally immature people) BUT the book absolutely honed in on the very problems I struggle with.
The book discusses a lot of the internal shifts that happen or have to happen to differentiate from the person you're emotionally fused with. It gives practical tips, compassion, insight, and great descriptions about what is happening and why and how to extract. I usually read quickly but I deliberately paused a lot when reading this book because I wanted to process it. I'm sure this book is helpful for people dealing with blatant and constant emotional immaturity. I was profoundly and pleasantly surprised how incredibly helpful it is for dealing with intermittent and subtle struggles, and how insightful and helpful it was for clarifying what was happening and how to address it.
I hope to reread it in a couple of years and see how much I've internalized some of the concepts and see if it's made any major permanent peaceful changes in me.
Boy was I wrong. It was VERY eye opening for me. I've already read
Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend (ignoring the Biblical stuff, it's my favorite)
Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab (which talks about how difficult it is to set the boundaries)
and most of the other books I've read about boundaries didn't feel like they moved me up to the next level. Once I discovered the concept of boundaries, I often felt like I'm being challenged with graduate level boundary problems while still being at the 101 course level. After a few years, I felt like I got a basic degree in Boundaries but was still struggling. I was not expecting this book to be so profoundly helpful and insightful (especially because I do not consider that I have relationships with essentially emotionally immature people) BUT the book absolutely honed in on the very problems I struggle with.
The book discusses a lot of the internal shifts that happen or have to happen to differentiate from the person you're emotionally fused with. It gives practical tips, compassion, insight, and great descriptions about what is happening and why and how to extract. I usually read quickly but I deliberately paused a lot when reading this book because I wanted to process it. I'm sure this book is helpful for people dealing with blatant and constant emotional immaturity. I was profoundly and pleasantly surprised how incredibly helpful it is for dealing with intermittent and subtle struggles, and how insightful and helpful it was for clarifying what was happening and how to address it.
I hope to reread it in a couple of years and see how much I've internalized some of the concepts and see if it's made any major permanent peaceful changes in me.
January 7, 2024
There were many things I took away from this. That being said, I'd give this a 3.5/5.
It functions similarly to a workbook, yet it seemed like it took me forever to finish it. I find myself hesitating to recommend this to others (and clients) because it fails to emphasize nuance, context, and family systems in a meaningful way; I found myself uncomfortable and cringing at times. If you have an emotionally immature person (EIP) in your life, they come from a context as does the reader. Those effected by EIPs aren't all good and EIPs aren't all bad, nor is there such rigidity that either group people can't change.
For example, the author writes "If you're estranged from your EIP, I'm sure you have perfectly good reasons." How can you make a statement like this?! I have many clients who have been impacted by emotionally immature parents and the author's blanket statements and generalizations would not be things that I would say or encourage in their specific situations. Generalizations can be dangerous and might even validate inappropriate responses to EIP behavior. Great effort, cringy-at-times execution.
It's almost as if the author wanted to write a book about narcissists, but instead called them emotionally immature to expand the content to a wider range of people (or to not be limited by diagnosis). I would also say that maturity exists on a spectrum; it can be context dependent, relationship dependent, season dependent, etc etc. This workbook could pair nicely with psychotherapy (in order to process some of the generalizations made in the text and how they fit with a person's specific situation/relationship).
Again, I took away a lot of helpful notes and reflection questions. However, as a whole, it wasn't my favorite. I will say that I read Lindsay Gibson's book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents several years ago and found it extremely helpful at that time in my life. I could recommend that one instead.
It functions similarly to a workbook, yet it seemed like it took me forever to finish it. I find myself hesitating to recommend this to others (and clients) because it fails to emphasize nuance, context, and family systems in a meaningful way; I found myself uncomfortable and cringing at times. If you have an emotionally immature person (EIP) in your life, they come from a context as does the reader. Those effected by EIPs aren't all good and EIPs aren't all bad, nor is there such rigidity that either group people can't change.
For example, the author writes "If you're estranged from your EIP, I'm sure you have perfectly good reasons." How can you make a statement like this?! I have many clients who have been impacted by emotionally immature parents and the author's blanket statements and generalizations would not be things that I would say or encourage in their specific situations. Generalizations can be dangerous and might even validate inappropriate responses to EIP behavior. Great effort, cringy-at-times execution.
It's almost as if the author wanted to write a book about narcissists, but instead called them emotionally immature to expand the content to a wider range of people (or to not be limited by diagnosis). I would also say that maturity exists on a spectrum; it can be context dependent, relationship dependent, season dependent, etc etc. This workbook could pair nicely with psychotherapy (in order to process some of the generalizations made in the text and how they fit with a person's specific situation/relationship).
Again, I took away a lot of helpful notes and reflection questions. However, as a whole, it wasn't my favorite. I will say that I read Lindsay Gibson's book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents several years ago and found it extremely helpful at that time in my life. I could recommend that one instead.
August 1, 2023
I am deeply grateful for Dr. Gibson's books, all of which have given me solace and kept me tethered to my sanity. This newest one is another treasure trove of practical strategies for dealing with even the most problematic people in your life without losing yourself in their craziness. Wish I'd had this book decades ago, but thank heavens it is here now. Ten stars!
August 15, 2023
The first book gave me the language and confidence to understand where my pain resides. This book is the perfect book to go back to & return to for concise advice to navigate EIPs in the present.
September 5, 2023
Well, she did it again. The bucket of validation some of us need from time to time.
April 30, 2023
Lindsay Gibson's previous books about Emotionally Immature People/Parents are must-reads, and her new book, Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People, is no different. There are few books I've read in my lifetime that I consider life-changing, and Lindsay Gibson's books have come to earn that distinction from me.
If you had a childhood where you were expected to take care of adults or be responsible before it was developmentally appropriate, consider yourself a people pleaser or someone who has difficulty making your feelings and needs a priority, and/or if you have come across people who seem to be all about themselves and put off by any attempts to connect emotionally, you'll want to read Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People.
Unlike her previous books, this one is written as a workbook-style reference guide with strategies, self reflection questions, and tips. Have a specific question like "How would I know if someone is emotionally immature?" or a thought like "I know they're acting crazy, but I don't know how to respond when they're being absurd?" These can be addressed easily by finding the right page in the table of contents. There are also useful appendices at the end that help readers compare emotional immaturity and maturity, define characteristics of emotionally immature people, and a Bill of Rights for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.
Since we all demonstrate varying levels of maturity for a variety of reasons, I highly recommend keeping a copy of Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People on your shelf to reference as needed.
Thank you to NetGalley and New Harbinger Publications for a copy.
If you had a childhood where you were expected to take care of adults or be responsible before it was developmentally appropriate, consider yourself a people pleaser or someone who has difficulty making your feelings and needs a priority, and/or if you have come across people who seem to be all about themselves and put off by any attempts to connect emotionally, you'll want to read Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People.
Unlike her previous books, this one is written as a workbook-style reference guide with strategies, self reflection questions, and tips. Have a specific question like "How would I know if someone is emotionally immature?" or a thought like "I know they're acting crazy, but I don't know how to respond when they're being absurd?" These can be addressed easily by finding the right page in the table of contents. There are also useful appendices at the end that help readers compare emotional immaturity and maturity, define characteristics of emotionally immature people, and a Bill of Rights for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.
Since we all demonstrate varying levels of maturity for a variety of reasons, I highly recommend keeping a copy of Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People on your shelf to reference as needed.
Thank you to NetGalley and New Harbinger Publications for a copy.
January 25, 2024
Going forward, when you get in a tough spot with an EIP, can I count on you to positively answer the following questions:
Are you just as important as they are?
Do you have the right to take care of yourself?
Do you have the right to be happy?
Do you have the skills to get what you need, even if not from them?
Let them have the old stuff. You don’t have to claw back what you’ve lost.
You already have everything you need—and more—inside you right now.
Are you just as important as they are?
Do you have the right to take care of yourself?
Do you have the right to be happy?
Do you have the skills to get what you need, even if not from them?
Let them have the old stuff. You don’t have to claw back what you’ve lost.
You already have everything you need—and more—inside you right now.
March 24, 2025
A little too hard to hear
December 28, 2023
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I really loved this authors previous work and was excited to get my hands on this. I am so excited to share this knowledge and encourage my clients to explore these works. Obviously not all the clients have issues with parents in general, so I believe that this book/workbook may help a wider audience in establishing boundaries and guiding through the uncomfortable feelings that will arise when someone tries to do so.
I really loved this authors previous work and was excited to get my hands on this. I am so excited to share this knowledge and encourage my clients to explore these works. Obviously not all the clients have issues with parents in general, so I believe that this book/workbook may help a wider audience in establishing boundaries and guiding through the uncomfortable feelings that will arise when someone tries to do so.
April 16, 2024
A must-read guide to understanding the people in your life who regularly feel draining, chaotic, and incomprehensible. While the comparison between mature vs. immature people strikes a condescending dichotomy times, I think it is necessary to achieve the emotional distance needed to conceptualize how limited some people are (and will likely always be). True to the title: emotional disengagement is the ultimate goal and path to healing.
June 20, 2024
IYKYK 😜
July 11, 2023
From the author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents , this handbook offers essential, practical solutions to help you “disentangle” from emotionally immature people, stand up for your self , and transform your relationships. If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met or dismissed—and you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, and abandonment as a result. As an adult, you have fought hard to establish your own sense of self , and heal the invisible wounds caused by your upbringing. But what about other emotionally immature people (EIP) in your life? EIPs are often unpredictable, volatile, and difficult to handle. They tend to be me-first people, with little regard for others. They may not respect you as an individual—which can be isolating, hurtful, and lonely. As an adult child of an emotionally immature parent (ACEIP), you may be particularly vulnerable to EIPs. But you are not powerless! If you’re tired of being emotionally hijacked by EIPs, this handbook can help you avoid common traps, build confidence, and stand strong in your self . In this must-have guide, author Lindsay Gibson provides everyday solutions to help you manage relationships with any emotionally immature person. You’ll find practical insights and explorations into the most common challenges ACEIPs face, and practical guidance to help set boundaries and establish healthier relationships. You’ll also learn to handle difficult interactions with EIPs, understand their responses, and transform your relationships to build a happier life. It’s time to disentangle from EIPs! As an ACEIP, you have spent a lifetime compensating for others’ behavior and putting your needs last. With this handbook, you’ll find the information you need to understand how EIPs function, shift your own perspective regarding these relationships, and stand up for your self without guilt, shame, or fear.
This has been a godsend to me. I always feel guilty for standing up for myself or for trying to establish boundaries with people who have no respect for said boundaries. Thank you for this book.
This has been a godsend to me. I always feel guilty for standing up for myself or for trying to establish boundaries with people who have no respect for said boundaries. Thank you for this book.
April 30, 2023
Written by a Ph.D., this book explains what emotionally immature people are, how to spot them, and what to do about them if you have those in your life. I loved how there are lots of useful information and also lots of advice on how to deal with those.
If you are like me and grew up with parents who were EIP, then you know it has a lasting effect on your life and the way you live, interact with people, and form relationships, it affects every aspect of your life unless you live alone in the woods – I loved how validating this book was, and how it gives hope.
There are so many pages I have bookmarked while reading it, I will be going over those again and again. I hope this book reaches as many people as it can – the ones who need a read just like this in their lives. I am sure there are many of us who need just a book like this.
If you are like me and grew up with parents who were EIP, then you know it has a lasting effect on your life and the way you live, interact with people, and form relationships, it affects every aspect of your life unless you live alone in the woods – I loved how validating this book was, and how it gives hope.
There are so many pages I have bookmarked while reading it, I will be going over those again and again. I hope this book reaches as many people as it can – the ones who need a read just like this in their lives. I am sure there are many of us who need just a book like this.
January 3, 2025
Good as a supplement to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents. Not very useful as a standalone book.
August 31, 2023
Extremely eye-opening. This book has been a great help in understanding the behaviour of an EIP in my life. It has also reassured me that I am allowed to set boundaries and refuse to be manipulated through guilt and their victim mentality. The specific strategies for avoiding entanglement with EIPs and handling particular situations are very helpful. I will be returning to this book periodically.
May 28, 2024
WOWZER. insert mind blown emoji. This serves as more of a workbook - and I listened to it - but I took so many notes in my notes app on my phone and will be going back to it. I probably will next purchase the book paperback to have access to all the reflection questions. I loved that it was interactive.
September 3, 2024
This series has been so insightful and Very useful in my life. There are some difficult truths that are somehow very gently and engagingly passed on by the author. Highly recommend
November 8, 2025
Oj, to było naprawdę dobre!
Ileż tu ciekawych tematów! I nie przesadzę, jeśli napiszę, że dla każdego z nas. Bo nikt nie jest idealny i czasami, w trudnych, stresujących sytuacjach, reagujemy jak dzieci (choć niewielu jest skłonnych się do tego przyznać). Ta książka jest o nas i dla nas. Ma pomóc w określeniu, czy poznana osoba jest dojrzała, czy niedojrzała emocjonalnie. Ale też jak my sami radzimy sobie w życiu.
Tematów bez liku. Parentyfikacja, granice, rywalizacja, umiejętność słuchania, egoizm i egocentryzm, poczucie własnej wartości, zauważanie, docenianie i chwalenie, szantaż emocjonalny, niszcząca krytyka, zawłaszczenie emocjonalne, wyuczona bezradność, gniew, poczucie winy, autoagresja, nieudane związki, projekcje... A to i tak nie wszystko.
Całość pięknie podzielona na rozdziały, w którym omawiany jest dany temat. Na końcu pytania i ćwiczenia do samodzielnego wykonania. Dodatkiem do książki jest indeks, ale prawdziwymi perełkami są załączniki: Cechy charakterystyczne niedojrzałych emocjonalnie rodziców i innych ludzi, Zestawienie cech emocjonalnej niedojrzałości i dojrzałości oraz Niepisana umowa relacyjna z niedojrzałą emocjonalnie osobą i Karta praw dorosłych dzieci niedojrzałych emocjonalnie rodziców. Z bibliografii wyłowiłam kilka kolejnych tytułów, do których mam ochotę się dobrać.
Dałam pięć gwiazdek, ale skali brakuje. Chcę więcej tej autorki!
Dwa zdania z Niepisanej umowy (dość przewrotne):
Wskaż mi, proszę, co powinienem lubić, a czego nie.
Oczywiście, że masz prawo być nieuprzejmy.
I dwa z Karty praw:
Mam prawo do tego, by nie być dostępnym na każde wezwanie.
Mam prawo nie godzić się na wpędzanie mnie w poczucie wstydu.
Ileż tu ciekawych tematów! I nie przesadzę, jeśli napiszę, że dla każdego z nas. Bo nikt nie jest idealny i czasami, w trudnych, stresujących sytuacjach, reagujemy jak dzieci (choć niewielu jest skłonnych się do tego przyznać). Ta książka jest o nas i dla nas. Ma pomóc w określeniu, czy poznana osoba jest dojrzała, czy niedojrzała emocjonalnie. Ale też jak my sami radzimy sobie w życiu.
Tematów bez liku. Parentyfikacja, granice, rywalizacja, umiejętność słuchania, egoizm i egocentryzm, poczucie własnej wartości, zauważanie, docenianie i chwalenie, szantaż emocjonalny, niszcząca krytyka, zawłaszczenie emocjonalne, wyuczona bezradność, gniew, poczucie winy, autoagresja, nieudane związki, projekcje... A to i tak nie wszystko.
Całość pięknie podzielona na rozdziały, w którym omawiany jest dany temat. Na końcu pytania i ćwiczenia do samodzielnego wykonania. Dodatkiem do książki jest indeks, ale prawdziwymi perełkami są załączniki: Cechy charakterystyczne niedojrzałych emocjonalnie rodziców i innych ludzi, Zestawienie cech emocjonalnej niedojrzałości i dojrzałości oraz Niepisana umowa relacyjna z niedojrzałą emocjonalnie osobą i Karta praw dorosłych dzieci niedojrzałych emocjonalnie rodziców. Z bibliografii wyłowiłam kilka kolejnych tytułów, do których mam ochotę się dobrać.
Dałam pięć gwiazdek, ale skali brakuje. Chcę więcej tej autorki!
Dwa zdania z Niepisanej umowy (dość przewrotne):
Wskaż mi, proszę, co powinienem lubić, a czego nie.
Oczywiście, że masz prawo być nieuprzejmy.
I dwa z Karty praw:
Mam prawo do tego, by nie być dostępnym na każde wezwanie.
Mam prawo nie godzić się na wpędzanie mnie w poczucie wstydu.
October 1, 2025
I thought this was a helpful book, however, if you've already read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, don't expect to find too much that's new or revolutionary in this new book. I think what sets this book apart is that it brings in a bit more about Emotionally Immature PEOPLE in general. I felt that aspect helped me identify a few things within a friendship that I had disentangled from that I had not previously recognized.
This book also has great journaling prompts to help the reader pause and reflect, which I liked. It gave it a bit more of a "workbook" style to it which I find to be beneficial when reading anything designed to promote healing and growth.
Honestly, if you've already done the work (therapy, self-reflection, communicating with your EIP, etc..) and are on the path to disentangling, you'll find this book helps mostly through validation. If you're newly navigating an EIP, you'll find it extremely helpful as you move forward.
I do think it'd be a really great tool to use in therapy as well and imagine if this book had been released back when I was beginning this work years ago it would've been beneficial to go chapter by chapter with my therapist (and I have no doubt she would've suggested it!).
Personally, I plan to make myself a copy of Appendix D - "Bill of Rights for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" because it is such a helpful tool and reminder.
Definitely a great read!
This book also has great journaling prompts to help the reader pause and reflect, which I liked. It gave it a bit more of a "workbook" style to it which I find to be beneficial when reading anything designed to promote healing and growth.
Honestly, if you've already done the work (therapy, self-reflection, communicating with your EIP, etc..) and are on the path to disentangling, you'll find this book helps mostly through validation. If you're newly navigating an EIP, you'll find it extremely helpful as you move forward.
I do think it'd be a really great tool to use in therapy as well and imagine if this book had been released back when I was beginning this work years ago it would've been beneficial to go chapter by chapter with my therapist (and I have no doubt she would've suggested it!).
Personally, I plan to make myself a copy of Appendix D - "Bill of Rights for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" because it is such a helpful tool and reminder.
Definitely a great read!
June 20, 2024
4.5/5 stars. This book is already so helpful from just listening to the audiobook version, I ordered the paperback so I could go through it again. I'm planning to do each of the exercises that are relevant instead of pausing the audiobook to think through them. There is a lot for me to work on and disentagle myself from people...even just the loose threads of attachment. There is also some areas for me to self-reflect on myself and behaviors I've picked up from EIPs in my life (fleas). Being raised by two emotionally immature adults, being the scapegoat of the family (blamed for other people's decisions or actions they couldn't take responsibility for themselves), as well as emotional incest, neglect, with physical, mental, and s3cual abuse, there is only so much I can focus on at a time and make progress, but this felt like a weight was dismounting from my shoulders.
If EIPs are particular in your background or current situation, I highly recommend this book. Maybe start out with one of the earlier books by the author as this has almost a workbook quality to it.
If EIPs are particular in your background or current situation, I highly recommend this book. Maybe start out with one of the earlier books by the author as this has almost a workbook quality to it.
March 10, 2024
Have you ever felt extremely guilty after setting a boundary? Do you feel responsible for the feelings of others, sometimes to the point of self sacrifice?
All these questions and more get answered in Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People by Lindsay C Gibson. This book explains what emotionally immature people are, how to spot them and what yo do about them if they’re in your life.
I have previously read ‘Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents’ by the same author. Both books are equally insightful and recommended if you’re looking for answers about attachment styles and ways to deal with emotional immaturity.
What stood out for me in this book was
💓 learning the difference between irrational guilt and constructive guilt
💓 Understanding the four horsemen of self-defeat - passivity, immobilisation, disassociation and learned helplessness.
💓 understanding more about internalisers vs externalisers
All these questions and more get answered in Disentangling from Emotionally Immature People by Lindsay C Gibson. This book explains what emotionally immature people are, how to spot them and what yo do about them if they’re in your life.
I have previously read ‘Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents’ by the same author. Both books are equally insightful and recommended if you’re looking for answers about attachment styles and ways to deal with emotional immaturity.
What stood out for me in this book was
💓 learning the difference between irrational guilt and constructive guilt
💓 Understanding the four horsemen of self-defeat - passivity, immobilisation, disassociation and learned helplessness.
💓 understanding more about internalisers vs externalisers
April 8, 2024
Fantastic read for anyone who has had to (or is wanting to) disentangle themselves from an emotionally immature person. This book gives some insight on not only the how's but also the why's of the importance of separating ourselves from those EIPs. It provides strategies and reflections at the conclusion of each chapter to truly put this into practice. As someone who has struggled with the guilt that comes with the aftermath of having to cut off toxic relationships, this book has become an important component in my healing journey. Highly recommend.
May 22, 2024
Incredibly helpful and profound for me to read in my 30s after growing up in a home with an EIP. I nodded my head and gasped time and again at all of the things that finally made sense about how I was raised and how I still interact with this person.
Giving it 4 stars because it seemed to be very much about “living your own truth” vs my worldview of biblical truth and needing to take every thought captive to Christ. The author, at times, seemed to talk negatively about “organized religion” saying that we all need to find our own version of spirituality that works for us. I disagree with that, however, it’s still an amazingly insightful book that I’m grateful to have read.
Giving it 4 stars because it seemed to be very much about “living your own truth” vs my worldview of biblical truth and needing to take every thought captive to Christ. The author, at times, seemed to talk negatively about “organized religion” saying that we all need to find our own version of spirituality that works for us. I disagree with that, however, it’s still an amazingly insightful book that I’m grateful to have read.
September 11, 2024
another validating read from Lindsay Gibson, author of Adult Children of EIP. This one had helpful Strategies one can take to disentangle with their EIP, and Reflection and Discovery questions at the end of each chapter. Also tips on how to build your relationship with an EIP in a less enmeshed way. Will be taking my highlights in this book to discuss in future therapy sessions.
January 2, 2025
This book is my favourite and the most practical in the series. I found many helpful ideas in nearly every chapter, and I especially appreciate the numerous strategies for managing EIPs. While I still need practice implementing them, I feel significantly more at ease interacting with my parents, which is invaluable.
May 3, 2025
This book has changed my life. The author takes you through multiple perspectives, with great examples. I will say that it can be triggering at times with how on-the-nose they are, but I’m so grateful for this book being available. A lot of great resources and tools to help navigate life’s challenges. If you’re on the fence, read it. I picked it up on a whim when the audiobook was available on Spotify because the title seemed interesting, and I’m so glad I did. Will definitely be buying a copy for future use and to share with friends from similar circumstances
October 30, 2025
I will read anything this lady puts out. It’s fascinating, insightful, and extremely helpful for when you have to deal with emotionally immature people, whether they’re family, friends, coworkers, etc. We all know someone, and we don’t have to cut them out of our lives, but we can equip ourselves with the tools we need to not lose our sanity in the process. I appreciate the end of chapter reflections and tips.
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