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Lead Like the Real You: Wisdom for Women on Finding Your Voice, Pursuing God's Calling, and Leading with Courage
Amy Orr-Ewing has learned a lot of lessons the hard way.
As an internationally known speaker, theologian, and apologist, she has navigated it battling abuses of power, finding and using her own voice, building a lasting ministry, leading with confidence, thriving in friendship, relying on God in hard times, and more.
Now, she's sharing the wisdom she has gained over 25 years with other women so they, too, can grow in Christian leadership. In Lead Like the Real You , Orr-Ewing pens a deeply personal and engaging collection of letters that explore the unique challenges women face.
Rooted in honesty, practicality, and biblical guidance, these letters speak to women who lead in the workplace, classroom, church, and home, as well as those who support them. This book empowers the next generation of Christian women who hope to change the world to live and lead well, knowing they are not alone.
As an internationally known speaker, theologian, and apologist, she has navigated it battling abuses of power, finding and using her own voice, building a lasting ministry, leading with confidence, thriving in friendship, relying on God in hard times, and more.
Now, she's sharing the wisdom she has gained over 25 years with other women so they, too, can grow in Christian leadership. In Lead Like the Real You , Orr-Ewing pens a deeply personal and engaging collection of letters that explore the unique challenges women face.
Rooted in honesty, practicality, and biblical guidance, these letters speak to women who lead in the workplace, classroom, church, and home, as well as those who support them. This book empowers the next generation of Christian women who hope to change the world to live and lead well, knowing they are not alone.
192 pages, Paperback
Published August 13, 2024
45 people are currently reading
147 people want to read
About the author
Amy Orr-Ewing
22 books51 followersDr Amy Orr-Ewing is the Co-Director of The Oxford Centre of Christian Apologetics, and speaks around the world on how the Christian faith answers the deepest questions of life.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews
October 21, 2024
Hard-earned wisdom from 25 years of ministry. Shared through deeply personal letters, Amy addresses the unique challenges women face in leadership, offering honesty, practical advice, and biblical guidance. This empowering book inspires Christian women to lead confidently and thrive in every aspect of life.
Dear Amy,
Thank you for writing me these letters. As a young woman navigating ministry—transitioning from worship pastor to young adult ministry, moving states, and nearing the end of my Doctor of Ministry degree—they were both encouraging and poignant.
Your kindness and transparency bring a refreshing voice to spaces often dominated by men. I appreciated how you included every aspect of life—church, leadership, friendship, and family—making it deeply relatable. Your wisdom on facing injustices and abuse provided raw, yet hopeful insights.
This book feels like a perfect guide for women in their first to 15th year of ministry. It’s grounded in depth and heart that young leaders, especially in their 20s, will appreciate.
Thank you for caring for us young women leaders. Thank you for caring for me.
With love, Katie
PS- Thanks @brazospress for the gifted book
Perfect for you if you like:
Epistolary non-fiction
Mentorship from experienced women in ministry/leadership
Navigating challenges with faith-based wisdom
Professional and personal growth
Similar to:
Emboldened by Tara Beth Leagh
Growing Women in Ministry by Anna R. Morgan
You Are the Girl for the Job by Jess Connolly
Dear Amy,
Thank you for writing me these letters. As a young woman navigating ministry—transitioning from worship pastor to young adult ministry, moving states, and nearing the end of my Doctor of Ministry degree—they were both encouraging and poignant.
Your kindness and transparency bring a refreshing voice to spaces often dominated by men. I appreciated how you included every aspect of life—church, leadership, friendship, and family—making it deeply relatable. Your wisdom on facing injustices and abuse provided raw, yet hopeful insights.
This book feels like a perfect guide for women in their first to 15th year of ministry. It’s grounded in depth and heart that young leaders, especially in their 20s, will appreciate.
Thank you for caring for us young women leaders. Thank you for caring for me.
With love, Katie
PS- Thanks @brazospress for the gifted book
Perfect for you if you like:
Epistolary non-fiction
Mentorship from experienced women in ministry/leadership
Navigating challenges with faith-based wisdom
Professional and personal growth
Similar to:
Emboldened by Tara Beth Leagh
Growing Women in Ministry by Anna R. Morgan
You Are the Girl for the Job by Jess Connolly
August 15, 2024
I COULD HEAR MY OWN VOICE
As I began reading this, it was like Amy had seen some of my thoughts, struggles and challenges.
I found the style of letters easy to read and very real and relatable, echos of my own experience which was so encouraging.
There were moments I was overwhelmed with sadness and deeply moved at Amy’s journey so far, but also hugely encouraged at how God weaves our lives to grow us and then uses our experiences to speak into the lives of others.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest Amy.
A ‘must read’ whatever sphere of leadership you are in, from corporate boss to mother of toddlers.
Athena
As I began reading this, it was like Amy had seen some of my thoughts, struggles and challenges.
I found the style of letters easy to read and very real and relatable, echos of my own experience which was so encouraging.
There were moments I was overwhelmed with sadness and deeply moved at Amy’s journey so far, but also hugely encouraged at how God weaves our lives to grow us and then uses our experiences to speak into the lives of others.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest Amy.
A ‘must read’ whatever sphere of leadership you are in, from corporate boss to mother of toddlers.
Athena
September 1, 2024
Great reminders and encouragement for young female leaders. I was inspired my Amy’s kindness and bluntness about what to expect, what to guard against, and what to prepare for as a leader. Perhaps the most impactful chapter was the last one, where she shares her personal experience of God’s guidance and protection in a dangerous place. She implores the reader: Remember that God is God. A wonderfully challenging perspective, especially as someone seeking God and leading in the West.
October 9, 2024
If you're female, leader or not, you should probably read this.
November 22, 2024
Excellent advice and thoughtful discussion.
January 18, 2025
Every Christian woman should read this book! It covers so many different topics and challenges in such an encouragingly personal way!
June 5, 2024
Structured like a series of letters—based on actual correspondence between Amy Orr-Ewing and a mentee—Lead Like the Real You is a collection of personal, thoughtful, and conversational essays on leadership particularly as it pertains to women. Orr-Ewing arranges into ten parts, each comprised of three to seven letters. All letters are short, just about 3-4 pages each, making this a book easily read in a devotional style. Take one letter a day, read it, reflect on it, and truly dive into it.
The primary question I had going into Lead Like the Real You is what made this book specifically geared toward women in leadership. First, it is written by a woman in leadership. That alone holds value, because when you look at the shelves of leadership books (I have a doctorate in ministerial leadership), representation from women leaders is woefully lacking. Moreover, what books we do have, particularly within the context of the church, seem either focused on women leading women or a defense of women in leadership roles. While Amy Orr-Ewing addresses both of these areas, the general sweep of her writing is more practical and intended for an audience wider than the church.
Second, the book is written to women. Lead Like the Real You originated out of a series of letters written to Jo, a mentee of Orr-Ewing, about leadership. At its heart this is a woman-to-woman conversation and Orr-Ewing approaches leadership from the perspective of a woman, focusing on the challenges of leadership that are unique to women. One whole section of the book is entitled “Facing Chauvinism in Christian Spaces.” Other letters cover the balancing act between leadership and being a mother, understanding work and calling, learning to own their embodied voices, and so on. In other words, this isn’t just a book about leading, it is a book about leading as a woman.
This does not mean that Lead Like the Real You does not hold value for men. Men can learn from perspectives that are not their own. I think, especially for men in leadership, reading this book might open their eyes to how the experiences of women in leadership might be different than theirs. A salient example that Orr-Ewing points out is that women are often expected to dress or act a certain way while men are given much more leniency. While a man might be called “assertive” in leadership, a woman acting the same way might be “bossy.” Orr-Ewing calls out these inequalities with grace and clarity, calling society to do better while preparing women in leadership for the resilience needed to lead as a woman.
Orr-Ewing also takes time to address institutional abuse and injustice. Before the demise of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries, she was a senior VP who had to navigate the credible sexual abuse claims surrounding Ravi and the toxic way in which some within the organization attempted to deal with those claims. This section, to me, is the one that’s birthed most out of Orr-Ewing’s specific experiences and remains unfortunately relevant for others that find themselves having to navigate similar waters.
Overall, Lead Like the Real You is challenging, practical, and exhortative. The short-form nature of the letters makes it easily accessible and readable. The formation into themes ensures that topics are covered in substantive fashions. The end result is a deeply personal book that is intended for women in leadership, but from which all people—regardless of gender or leadership role—can learn from.
The primary question I had going into Lead Like the Real You is what made this book specifically geared toward women in leadership. First, it is written by a woman in leadership. That alone holds value, because when you look at the shelves of leadership books (I have a doctorate in ministerial leadership), representation from women leaders is woefully lacking. Moreover, what books we do have, particularly within the context of the church, seem either focused on women leading women or a defense of women in leadership roles. While Amy Orr-Ewing addresses both of these areas, the general sweep of her writing is more practical and intended for an audience wider than the church.
Second, the book is written to women. Lead Like the Real You originated out of a series of letters written to Jo, a mentee of Orr-Ewing, about leadership. At its heart this is a woman-to-woman conversation and Orr-Ewing approaches leadership from the perspective of a woman, focusing on the challenges of leadership that are unique to women. One whole section of the book is entitled “Facing Chauvinism in Christian Spaces.” Other letters cover the balancing act between leadership and being a mother, understanding work and calling, learning to own their embodied voices, and so on. In other words, this isn’t just a book about leading, it is a book about leading as a woman.
This does not mean that Lead Like the Real You does not hold value for men. Men can learn from perspectives that are not their own. I think, especially for men in leadership, reading this book might open their eyes to how the experiences of women in leadership might be different than theirs. A salient example that Orr-Ewing points out is that women are often expected to dress or act a certain way while men are given much more leniency. While a man might be called “assertive” in leadership, a woman acting the same way might be “bossy.” Orr-Ewing calls out these inequalities with grace and clarity, calling society to do better while preparing women in leadership for the resilience needed to lead as a woman.
Orr-Ewing also takes time to address institutional abuse and injustice. Before the demise of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries, she was a senior VP who had to navigate the credible sexual abuse claims surrounding Ravi and the toxic way in which some within the organization attempted to deal with those claims. This section, to me, is the one that’s birthed most out of Orr-Ewing’s specific experiences and remains unfortunately relevant for others that find themselves having to navigate similar waters.
Overall, Lead Like the Real You is challenging, practical, and exhortative. The short-form nature of the letters makes it easily accessible and readable. The formation into themes ensures that topics are covered in substantive fashions. The end result is a deeply personal book that is intended for women in leadership, but from which all people—regardless of gender or leadership role—can learn from.
September 1, 2024
This book should be required reading for all leaders, regardless of gender.
I love the intimacy of the style – letters to a protege – and was moved as the author described the joys, heartaches, pitfalls, and blessings of being a woman in leadership in the Christian community.
There is a tonne of great advice, practical and spiritual, all backed by experience and Scripture, and she doesn’t shy away from shining light on some truly dark portions of leadership.
My only real criticism is that the author still has some internalized misogyny to work through.
She talks about not letting the chauvinism of others stifle your gifts but doesn’t suggest much beyond strategies to circumvent.
She talks about not worrying about your appearance, but also: Make sure your wardrobe isn’t a distraction.
She talks about saying ‘yes’ to things like travel, and even acknowledges a woman’s unseen labour at home, but then assumes that she’ll figure out how to leave her family prepared meals in the fridge and will deal with all the laundry when she gets home.
It’s like shouting “You’re a super-hero, mama!” to a drowning woman, instead of throwing her a life-preserver.
I need the Christian community to do a better job supporting their (women) leaders, so they have the time and energy to dedicate to their vocation.
Dispite this, I think Leading Like the Real You should be on every Christian shelf.
Thanks to NetGalley, and Brazos Press for this meaty ARC.
I love the intimacy of the style – letters to a protege – and was moved as the author described the joys, heartaches, pitfalls, and blessings of being a woman in leadership in the Christian community.
There is a tonne of great advice, practical and spiritual, all backed by experience and Scripture, and she doesn’t shy away from shining light on some truly dark portions of leadership.
My only real criticism is that the author still has some internalized misogyny to work through.
She talks about not letting the chauvinism of others stifle your gifts but doesn’t suggest much beyond strategies to circumvent.
She talks about not worrying about your appearance, but also: Make sure your wardrobe isn’t a distraction.
She talks about saying ‘yes’ to things like travel, and even acknowledges a woman’s unseen labour at home, but then assumes that she’ll figure out how to leave her family prepared meals in the fridge and will deal with all the laundry when she gets home.
It’s like shouting “You’re a super-hero, mama!” to a drowning woman, instead of throwing her a life-preserver.
I need the Christian community to do a better job supporting their (women) leaders, so they have the time and energy to dedicate to their vocation.
Dispite this, I think Leading Like the Real You should be on every Christian shelf.
Thanks to NetGalley, and Brazos Press for this meaty ARC.
October 26, 2024
Beautiful, poignant and insightful, this book is for Christian women who feel called into leadership in any context.
I particularly appreciated the section on abuse and scandal in the evangelical church, because I don't feel I've read much about how to navigate that.
Amy's heart for the Lord and for those who serve Him is clear. I think this book is deeply prophetic:
"I sense a tenderness from God for leaders. He knows the storms that have come: the pandemic, trauma, family worries, bereavement, moral collapses of leaders we admired, and interpersonal meltdowns on teams that leave us weary and hurt. The master gardener knows it all, and he is able to tend to us in our ecosystem- in this time, with this weather.
Let God the gardener do his work of beauty, goodness, and truth in your soul-trust his loving, tender care. Let him prune, and let the storm break off any branches that need to go. Resist the impetus to insist on a perpetual summer, a constant high of the harvest. Welcome the season you are in.
Find ways of getting outside and immersing yourself in the natural beauty of creation. Let God restore your soul in the very place he has called you to live and work. May he cultivate a new fruitfulness as you walk with him.
God is doing something precious even as things are stripped and pruned. He will bring the fruit."
Amen.
I particularly appreciated the section on abuse and scandal in the evangelical church, because I don't feel I've read much about how to navigate that.
Amy's heart for the Lord and for those who serve Him is clear. I think this book is deeply prophetic:
"I sense a tenderness from God for leaders. He knows the storms that have come: the pandemic, trauma, family worries, bereavement, moral collapses of leaders we admired, and interpersonal meltdowns on teams that leave us weary and hurt. The master gardener knows it all, and he is able to tend to us in our ecosystem- in this time, with this weather.
Let God the gardener do his work of beauty, goodness, and truth in your soul-trust his loving, tender care. Let him prune, and let the storm break off any branches that need to go. Resist the impetus to insist on a perpetual summer, a constant high of the harvest. Welcome the season you are in.
Find ways of getting outside and immersing yourself in the natural beauty of creation. Let God restore your soul in the very place he has called you to live and work. May he cultivate a new fruitfulness as you walk with him.
God is doing something precious even as things are stripped and pruned. He will bring the fruit."
Amen.
August 13, 2024
When I heard this book was being released, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on an ARC (thanks NetGalley). I know the challenges that many women in leadership face, and I was keen to read what Amy Orr-Ewing had to share from her significant experience. I was also intrigued by epistolary structure.
I loved it! I expected it to be intelligent, articulate and pertinent. What I didn’t expect was it to be so personal, practical and engaging (I know I should have taken each letter slowly to digest carefully, but I found myself unable to put it down! Like pouring over a letter from a trusted mentor). The book address many issues facing female leaders - from practical matters like preaching nerves and hospitality, to significant issues like church abuse and chauvinism. It’s written as if to a younger, emerging leader, but I’m not at all young and found still found it applicable and encouraging!
I highly recommend this book to those approaching leadership from a Christian perspective - it’s accessible, relevant and full of practical and spiritual wisdom.
I loved it! I expected it to be intelligent, articulate and pertinent. What I didn’t expect was it to be so personal, practical and engaging (I know I should have taken each letter slowly to digest carefully, but I found myself unable to put it down! Like pouring over a letter from a trusted mentor). The book address many issues facing female leaders - from practical matters like preaching nerves and hospitality, to significant issues like church abuse and chauvinism. It’s written as if to a younger, emerging leader, but I’m not at all young and found still found it applicable and encouraging!
I highly recommend this book to those approaching leadership from a Christian perspective - it’s accessible, relevant and full of practical and spiritual wisdom.
October 29, 2024
This is a deeply personal and insightful guide, delivered as a series of letters to her mentee, Jo.
Drawing from over 25 years in Christian ministry, Orr-Ewing—a renowned speaker, author, theologian, and apologist—offers practical biblical wisdom, addressing challenges women often encounter in range of spaces including the workplace & the church.
Each chapter is a thoughtful exploration of crucial issues that women in leadership may encounter in pursuing God’s call. She also emphasizes the importance of "growing deep roots," nurturing one's inner life as a source of resilience and authenticity.
Chapters include- Learning to use your voice, Work & calling, Facing chauvinism in Christian spaces & Addressing abuse & injustice.
Orr-Ewing’s raw honesty, vulnerability yet empowering style invites readers to consider their unique identities and strengths as leaders. This book isn't only for women; it’s essential reading for anyone who wishes to support and advocate for the flourishing of women in all areas of life.
August 14, 2024
This is an accessible and encouraging read from start to finish, based on a series of letters between Amy and Jo on the challenges faced by Amy in her career and her leadership roles. What made this book different is the focus on returning to the bible throughout and the practical, lived-out examples of how challenges were overcome.
This book resonated with me and has inspired me to know and feel I am not alone in my leadership role at work. Leadership roles can feel quite isolated at times and can be very challenging for women. I recognised the feelings of unworthiness and issues with imposter syndrome or dealings with misogyny and felt encouraged by the bible references and practical solutions. This book is an inspiring and important read.
This book resonated with me and has inspired me to know and feel I am not alone in my leadership role at work. Leadership roles can feel quite isolated at times and can be very challenging for women. I recognised the feelings of unworthiness and issues with imposter syndrome or dealings with misogyny and felt encouraged by the bible references and practical solutions. This book is an inspiring and important read.
August 26, 2024
Seeking the wisdom of a spiritual mentor in an accessible format? Friends, this is IT. The book consists of 43 letters written from the author to her mentee on a wide variety of topics.
She covers more practical subjects—like public speaking, parenting, hospitality, and friendship—but her voice really shines in discussing the more difficult subjects. This includes everything from misogyny, abuse in the church, gaslighting, trauma, and more.
I went into the book thinking Amy's form of leadership would cover how women can be more of themselves in the workplace, but this is SO much more than that. It's now going to be my go-to gift for friends who get a promotion or enter a new transitional season of life. I loved it!
She covers more practical subjects—like public speaking, parenting, hospitality, and friendship—but her voice really shines in discussing the more difficult subjects. This includes everything from misogyny, abuse in the church, gaslighting, trauma, and more.
I went into the book thinking Amy's form of leadership would cover how women can be more of themselves in the workplace, but this is SO much more than that. It's now going to be my go-to gift for friends who get a promotion or enter a new transitional season of life. I loved it!
September 13, 2024
This is the book every woman needs to read but there was never an author brave enough to write it. A deeply personal account full of the wisdom of a life incredibly well lived - I was gripped. There were moments I had to shut the book because it spoke so deeply to my own challenges, that it was hard to read, but at the same time, so amazing to find that I’m not alone in these feelings. Overall, the book fills you with hope and is incredibly uplifting, while at the same time challenging you to not give up, to lead with confidence and above all, to trust God.
June 4, 2025
Extraordinary little book for women, in particular, and any leader. It is written from a Christian perspective, for women who have been called to leadership in the Christian church, again in particular, and yet a terrific resource for any woman in leadership. It is an easy read, each chapter a letter to a young woman beginning her work as a leader and could be read quickly; I took my time reading and rereading. as a recent retiree, I found this book helpful and encouraging as I embark on this new chapter in my life. Thank you, Amy. I am grateful!
July 1, 2025
I’m not sure I was the audience for this book - being well established in my working life, but more tentative about my Christian leadership. Much of the early section seemed to me to be about the people skills you will pick up in any job. The sections on some of the more specific challenges/opportunities of being a Christian leader were good. There is plenty of wisdom here for the young leader.
I was not a great fan of the letter construct - but again, maybe that is because I’m not the target market.
I was not a great fan of the letter construct - but again, maybe that is because I’m not the target market.
August 16, 2024
Couldn’t put this book down - but had to because my Dad was rushed to hospital and I had to spend time there with him. So glad I agreed to do the book review on-line though. Being letters each one is to the point and so easy to understand and grasp what is being said. Can’t wait for the printed copy of this book to now arrive in the post so I can go back and read it again underlining all that has really spoken to me and jotting down my thoughts where I can. Definitely one that will stay on my book shelf. I wish there had been a book like this 40 years ago!
August 17, 2024
Reading this book is like having a mentor beside you guiding you through a vast array of important issues facing women leaders today. Amy brings a wealth of experience as she gives practical advice and insight firmly rooted in biblical principles. She writes candidly, but also with warmth and understanding, managing to create the perfect balance of a book which has real depth whilst being hugely readable. What an invaluable resource – I’ve already ordered extra copies to give to friends.
August 19, 2024
Amy's writing is authentic, heart-felt, wise and easy to read. These letters contain wisdom I wish I would have had earlier in leadership roles - it is what I would tell my younger self or what I would share with women serving in leadership. She addresses the joys, challenges, hardships and pitfalls with wisdom and compassion. Her desire for women to live out their God-given talents and callings is so encouraging.
September 19, 2025
Religion is one of the last places where women are treated equally with men. Various theologies restrict how women may dress and use their gifts Amy Orr-Ewing writes a series of letters to a young woman encouraging her to use her gifts well. She addresses some of the key theological issues in Christendom, especially evangelical Christianity as well as issues of abuse and bullying. Her advice is wise and based in the truths of the Bible. Well written it is also an easy read.
August 20, 2024
Every woman in ministry needs to read this book!! There is so much advice that is useful. I finished the book feeling so encouraged even after a few tears, and reminded of the community that women have. Amy does a phenomenal job at reminding us that we are never alone in our struggles and successes.
August 6, 2024
Amy speaks into many a women's circumstance as a leader. Written as a series of letters this is full of wisdom, lessons learned and inspires courage those endeavouring to lead in the space we occupy-that we do not diminish who we really are.
February 11, 2025
This was an enjoyable yet challenging read. I really appreciated the authors take on common and difficult aspects of being a woman in leadership. I’d recommend for any woman in a leadership position, and especially woman in ministry.
February 18, 2025
This book is full of so much wisdom and insight, making it a must-read for women in ministry. It covers a wide range of topics that are essential for every leader. Lots of practical biblical advice. A quick read that leaves a lasting impact.
June 5, 2025
Is it for me? No. Did I agree with everything? No.
This is a brilliant book. Provocative, prophetic, and pastoral. It will help men lead/with women, and should be an encouragement to women.
It’s also beautifully written and very readable.
Bravo, Amy
This is a brilliant book. Provocative, prophetic, and pastoral. It will help men lead/with women, and should be an encouragement to women.
It’s also beautifully written and very readable.
Bravo, Amy
August 23, 2024
Absolutely loved this book. It real spoke to me; challenged and encouraged me in areas of leadership I was new to or struggling in.
December 30, 2024
Thoroughly enjoyed it and the frankness and honesty . The style of writing letters as each chapter particularly appealed to me
May 9, 2025
What a brilliant book, I felt that some of the letters were written just for me. Thank you Amy for sharing your heart and encouraging the next generation. I will read it often!
August 17, 2024
Amy is a bright, thoughtful, personable writer and speaker with a strong passion for Jesus. So in reading her new book, I'm not surprised at how easy it is to consume, nor how insightful the content is. Amy openly shares the challenges and joys she has encountered through her decades of serving the Lord in the UK and internationally. Many of the letters moved my heart. How I wish I could have read these notes along the way through my 35 year career! Serving well as a Christian woman in business or in church life is not simple. Amy addresses the difficulties while providing strong encouragement to persevere in faith. Both women and men should read this book, to gain perspective and encouragement while serving Jesus in any vocation.
August 16, 2024
This is the book I wish I had when I started out as a young woman in ministry. Amy shares terrific wisdom that keeps us on track in the chaos that is ministry. Must read for all women in ministry!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 32 reviews