The Year My Life Went Down the Toilet

by Jake Maia Arlow

A hilariously honest book about surviving middle school while navigating a chronic illness from the Stonewall Honor-winning author of Almost Flying.

Twelve-year-old Al Schneider is too scared to talk about the two biggest things in her

1. Her stomach hurts all the time and she has no idea why.
2. She’s almost definitely 100% sure she likes girls.

So she holds it in…until she can’t. After nearly having an accident of the lavatorial variety in gym class, Al finds herself getting a colonoscopy and an answer—she has Crohn’s disease.

But rather than solving all her problems, Al's diagnosis just makes everything worse. It’s scary and embarrassing. And worst of all, everyone wants her to talk about it—her overprotective mom, her best friend, and most annoyingly her gastroenterologist, who keeps trying to get her to go to a support group for kids with similar chronic illnesses. But, who wants to talk about what you do in the bathroom?

The Year My Life Went Down the Toilet is a wildly funny and honest story about finding community, telling the truth even when it’s hard, and the many indignities of middle school life.

Genres: Middle Grade, LGBT, Disability, Fiction, Realistic Fiction, Contemporary, Queer

288 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2023

About the author

Jake Maia Arlow is a Stonewall Honor author and bagel connoisseur. They live with their girlfriend and loud cat in an apartment with no overhead lights.

Reviews

[Vanessa Devotta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved the way the author brings together the characters and portrays them through emotion and dialogue. The way they write about Chron’s, bathroom incidents, tween angst, and queer love is profound yet easy to read. Lacking in realism and many coincidences? Yes but it IS fiction.

[Nev · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoy Jake Maia Arlow’s writing, this is the 3rd book that I’ve picked up from them. I appreciated how this was a Middle Grade story that is dealing with queerness and chronic illnesses. 12 year old Al is having to navigate being diagnosed with Crohn’s disease, figuring out her feelings for other girls, dealing with the weirdness between her and her best friend, and having an overprotective mom.

Al ends up going to a support group for other kids who have IBD. It was great seeing her connect with other people who have a similar situation. A lot of the book is dealing with how Al feels embarrassed that her disease is related to pooping. She’s hesitant to talk about when she’s feeling bad or has to go to the bathroom, since it’s so ingrained in people to not talk about those topics. So that’s why it’s so great seeing her interacting with the other kids from the support group who know exactly what she’s going through.

Overall I really liked how all the different storylines with the friendships, romantic relationships, and familial relationships turned out. I’d definitely recommend this for people looking for queer Middle Grade or Middle Grade with characters who have chronic illnesses.

[Anniek · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was probably my favourite of Jake Maia Arlow's books so far

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

first book of the new year. jake maia arlow is amazing and will never disappoint - this is the third book i’ve read of theirs and they’re all amazing. the characters are multidimensional and the feelings (friendship, family, crushes, confusion, jealousy, embarrassment, the social hellscape of middle school, etc) are written so well and with so much respect - it’s not like taking down to middle schoolers or high schoolers, it’s like being a person is hard and that’s real and i see you. also every one of their books has queerness and judaism so then it’s even better - and their next book is going to be a queer jewish middle grade fantasy??!?! wish all their books were around when i was younger but yay that i get to read them now!

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

So glad this book exists and I hope it finds the kids who need it! A heartfelt portrayal of being a queer preteen with a chronic illness <33

[Ian Hrabe · Rating 3 out of 5]

Though this is classified as middle grade fiction, it’s really for junior high schoolers. While there’s nothing too inappropriate for a fourth grader (there is some kissing and dating and nothing too explicit), this one should be at the top of every conservative Christian maniac’s To Burn list. Yes, it’s a book about a kid dealing with a Crohns diagnosis, but that kid is also coming to terms with being gay, and the kid is also Jewish. Oh, and her mom has also just come out and is dating her best friend’s mom. And her best friend is gay. And all the kids in her Inflammatory Bowel Disease support group are queer (from non-binary to aromantic to just plain gay) and the whole crux of the book is a character learning to manage her newfound IBD with her newfound queerness.

My only issue with the book is that it isn’t very well written, and while all of the content does a good job introducing the LGBT spectrum to young readers (this is very much the author writing a “I wish I had a book like this when I was growing up as a queer Jewish kid with Crohns” book), and the author is very much using their own experience to inform the narrative, it just feels like there are too many ideas and themes crammed into this one book. So much so that it is frequently out of focus and messy. But also, I fully recognize that this book isn’t for me and I’m sure any kid dealing with an IBD diagnosis or grappling with their sexuality will love this.

[Eva B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely perfect, but it's by Jake Maia Arlow so who's surprised?
I somehow loved this even more than How to Excavate a Heart--although I don't have Crohn's, I am very familiar with the feeling of being embarrassed about health things with big impacts on my life (and also had the same experience of a group that was meant to be for something else happening to have all queer members lol). Al was a deeply relatable MC who I just wanted to hug because she's going through so much and trying so hard. I also really liked how the plotline with Joanna and Beth was handled--so many MG books where the MC's parent comes out are from the POV of a straight MC but in Al's case, she's not upset that Joanna is queer, she's upset that now people will assume she's copying Joanna if she comes out and being "the kid with the gay moms" will be one more thing that makes her different from everyone else.
I loved the bakery, I loved the Bathroom Club, I loved the nerdy flirting (if you thought Shani and May were nerdy flirters, just wait for Al and Mina!), I loved the realistic texting and Al's narration and again, it's just so so so good <3
Also you WILL be hungry by the end due to Beth's bakery. Don't say I didn't warn you.

[Jaime · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I appreciated a lot of the represention in this book (e.g. person with chronic illness, LGBTQIA+, etc), I struggled with some elements of the book.

1) Too much teenage angst. It was....just too much
2) every single character ended up being LGBTQIA+ which was just not realistic and really took away from the authenticity of the book for me

[KP · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very important, and it will help so many kids with IBD, chronic illness, queer/question, general puberty, and any combination of these things!

[Virginia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a heavy book. I read it with my 8 year old. She’s probably a bit young for the book but she picked it out. I don’t think she was expecting the content. I definitely was not expecting the content. My daughter loved the book. We learned a lot together and had many important conversations. It pushed my comfort level.

[Madison · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the vibrancy and humor that Jake Maia Arlow is bringing to really unique middle grade stories--it reminds me of the way Ashley Herring Blake changed the landscape in the 2010s with all the depth and heart she brought to queer middle grade characters.

Like AHB, Jake Maia Arlow imbues her adult characters with their own feelings and shortcomings and stories, which really adds to the narrative. Al, the protagonist, is a believable seventh-grader, which is a weirdly challenging tone for a lot of authors to get right. I can't believe we haven't had a book for this age group yet that centers the specific anxieties and humiliations of being a middle-schooler with Crohn's (or GI concerns in general) and I love that Arlow is really, really real about that aspect.

The actual plot leaves a little bit to be desired, despite all the things i liked about this book. Al's reasoning for keeping secrets and causing problems for herself is a little thin, and it feels like she's behaving in certain ways just so that the book can move forward and not because it makes sense or is true to the character. I ultimately didn't mind too much, and I still think kids will get a lot out of this book, which is really the only thing that matters.

[Jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read aloud to my 9 year old. Sparked amazing conversation about identity - chronic disease/disability, sexuality and gender, anxiety, middle school friendships and relationships. Kept her invested all the way through with plenty of poop jokes. For me as the reader, I did not expect to see so much of myself in Al's mom and was very touched by the way she explained her anxiety. A very touching read.

[Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

My original review was lost in the Goodreads ether but the important thing to know is that I love this book and will put it in the hands of every middle grader I know.

[Sam Dolph · Rating 5 out of 5]

i cried 10000 times while reading this book bc it made the lil queer jew with UC inner child in me feel so seen 💜 i’m so glad this book exists!

[Marissa Jauch · Rating 5 out of 5]

my tummy troubles have never felt so seen

[Leah M · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you to Dial Books, Penguin Random House Books, and Sierra Pregosin for sending me a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

DNF @ 21%.

I was so excited to start this book, and expected to really enjoy it. As a Jewish person who was recently diagnosed with IBD (inflammatory bowel disease) and identifies as queer, I figured that I would get plenty of identification with this book. However, I really struggled with this one.

To start with, I found it really difficult to empathize with Al, the MC. She's self-absorbed, selfish, and obnoxious. I understand that dealing with what she has on her plate, especially at 12 is difficult, but she was so rude to everyone in her life. Literally everyone, including her only friend, Leo. There was one good thing that happened to Leo in the part that I read, but Al was horrible to him about it, only thinking how it was going to affect her and acting out on that alone.

While I love a book with plenty of queer characters, it almost seemed like this book had ... too many, and it felt forced. It's clear that Al's mother and Leo's mother are dating, and because Al is so incredibly self-absorbed, she doesn't even notice and just thinks that it's cool how they're becoming "best friends." It didn't seem realistic to me.

I couldn't understand the relationship between Al and her mother. Her mother is so sweet and caring, and Al is so nasty to her. I hated how she acted to her mother, and couldn't for the life of me figure out why she wouldn't be talking to her mother about the dangerous symptoms that she was experiencing.

Ultimately, after reading 21% of this and not being able to identify with a single character and hating the MC and basically everything about her, the way that Al acted towards Leo and whined about literally every single thing in her life just got to me and I couldn't bear to read this for another moment. I'll just be sticking with the MG books where authors understand that a character doesn't have to be a horrible person to everyone in their life. There are pre-teens and young teens that act human to their parents and friends, and those are the books that I find myself preferring. If that describes you too, this probably isn't the book for you.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so good! Definitely my favorite of this author's book so far and it is hilarious and emotional and such an important book. It features a middle school girl who gets diagnosed with Crohn's disease well also trying to figure out that she likes girls, dealing with her best friend joining a group she's not a part of, and some big life changes with her mom. This book has a lot going on but it all works and it's all important and I really hope that a chronically ill queer Jewish Middle schooler gets their hands on this.

I also need a whole moment for the variety of queer representation in this book. We have a sapphic/questioning lesbian MC, a lesbian character, a gender queer character who uses they / she pronouns, an Aromantic character who actually uses the term aromantic, a gay character, a bisexual character, and sapphic adults. There was just such variety and I loved seeing it, especially that aromantic representation made my heart so happy. Also I just love all of these queer middle school books because I wish I had known I was queer that young and I'm just so happy and emotional for these kids who get to live most of their lives knowing who they are.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was actually a 3.5 for me but I'm going to round up because I can't resist books about queer Jewish characters with chronic illness. I love that more books are coming out about stomach related anxiety - even though I don't have Crohn's - I could still relate a lot to this book (I thought it was actually funny that most of the kids in the IBD group were Jewish because yeah that digestive system is no joke). I know that Al is only 12 and she's allowed to be unlikeable since she is just a child but sometimes I wanted to shake her like GIRL you have all of these people on your side wanting to help you and you won't let them!! Also you are queer and yet you can't identify all of the OBVIOUSLY queer people in your life?? ???? I do think though that the book gives her a lot more blame even though Leo also was kind of ignoring her. Lastly, I loved the storyline with the mom because it's true that sometimes when people are overly worrying about you it makes it worse and I LOVED that we finally addressed parental mental illness in a book instead of just being like LOL moms are just like that.

[Sharon · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have been looking forward to this book since the cover reveal, but unfortunately, it fell a bit short of my expectations. If I were rating it purely as a checklist, it would be a 5 star read, but as a book, it was a little lacking. I read a lot of middle grade, but the tween angst in this book was truly on another level. A lot of it was completely justifiable and fit the story, but there was a portion of the book that honestly would have been better removed. It slowed the pacing unnecessarily and made the MC about 300% more annoying. I won't go into the others because they're just more personal pet peeves than anything. Overall, though, it was cute and a good story and definitely worth the read! Also, I'm a Beth fan for life. <3

3.5 stars.

[Tara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this and wish that it had been around when I was in middle school struggling with the complete embarrassment of IBS. I thought the relationship dynamics were all very realistic for the age ranges and it dealt wonderfully with the fraught tensions of sick child/anxious parent. It was a little unrealistic that pretty much everyone in the main cast of the story was queer (the author does have a nod to this in-story) and that always throws me off, otherwise it would have been 5 stars. That being said, I really loved that there were no bullies in the story driving it. Of course she faced laughter of middle school children who didn't understand her plight, but it wasn't directed menace and I appreciated that. It happens too often in middle grade/teen fiction.

[Bente · Rating 4 out of 5]

When a middle grade book makes you cry 🥲

I mean, sure, I have a few remarks, like how it was sometimes hard to really feel the mc's age (one second she felt 8, then the other she felt 16 to me), or how some things were kind of randomly dropped and then never picked up again. But all in all, the thing I felt and loved most in this book was simply how heartfelt it was. A lot of the topics in the book are things the author has experienced as well, and that is so, so clear from the story, but in a good way. And obviously, it was all very poopy.

[Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really great #ownvoices middle grade novel featuring a 12 year old Jewish girl who gets diagnosed with Crohn's disease and finds a support group of other queer kids going through similar problems. This book tackles a lot from navigating old and new friendships, queer awakening, learning your parent is actually bisexual and learning how to live with a chronic illness. Great on audio and perfect for fans of books like Will on the inside by Andrew Eliopulos.

[Gabrielle Brunk · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was not expecting to fall in love with this book but I did!

I love to judge a book by its cover, so I grabbed this book based on its cover without knowing anything about it and man am I glad I did! Being diagnosed with UC as an adult in my 30s was hard to come to terms with. CHRONIC was also the word ringing in my mind over and over again. It's nice to see the process of waiting to be diagnosed and eventually finding your diagnosis and STILL struggling with treatment being reflected. This book is going to help so many people of all ages accept themselves.

I love, love the love story, the teenage angst, the character development! It was such a good read! The whole time I felt like I was yelling at Al, "just tell them how you feel" but at the same time I completely sympathize.

For all those people saying that Al's story is just too much happening, too many coincidences or just too much, I strongly disagree. You can have a chronic illness and be queer and be Jewish. Or maybe have multiple illnesses or be gay and trans and the list goes on and on. Life is not linear and our stories about them shouldn't be either.

I highly, highly recommend this book to anyone with a chronic illness, is still exporting their gender or sexual identity, wants to see their Jewish culture represented or wants to learn about.... Scratch that. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to read about the honest human experience.

[Celeste Loia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this for my BPL Summer Bingo challenge (children's chapter book) and really enjoyed it. I think we can all learn from The Bathroom Club's normalization of discussing their bodies and bathroom habits to make those conversations feel less taboo and less embarrassing.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ever since my bestie/poop friend recommended Jake’s podcast about “poop friends,” I’ve been eager to read this book. I’m genuinely excited for all the kids with IBD who will feel seen and better understood because this book exists.

[Library of Dreaming (Bookstagram) · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars rounded to 5 stars. This is a really special book.

[Clara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was sooooooooo good. I think it deserves a spot on my favorites shelf.

[Gili]

The whole family loved this one. A real crowd pleaser.

[Susan Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

Major strengths of this story:
Al is dealing with Chron's Disease, and I don't know a single middle-grade book that addresses this (and other gastrointestinal chronic conditions) as candidly and relatable as this one. Al joins a support group that tremendously benefits all the middle-school-aged members. With each other, their medical issues are easier to talk about - and even laugh about. Mental health is tied to physical health, and the author points this out without being overly "preachy." Al's doctor is terrific, too, a great listener and supporter.
Thank you Penguin Young Readers for this ARC.

[Melanie Hetrick · Rating 1 out of 5]

Allison, who prefers to be called Al, is having a tough time in middle school, like most tweens. Her best friend Leo, who lives with his mom across the hall in the same apartment building, is the only reason she's able to suffer through each day. But recently life has gotten a bit more difficult as her digestive system seems to have started a war with her body. She eventually learns that she has Crohn's Disease and that she will have to deal with it the rest of her life. Reluctantly she joins a support group where, surprisingly, she comes to enjoy the company of other tweens experiencing the same problems. She also develops a crush on a fellow female group member.

Obviously any story aimed at middle schoolers regarding chronic illnesses is appreciated. However this book was so disappointing. Lots of poop talk, which is expected. But for Every. Single. Character in this book to end up on the LGBTQIAP+ spectrum? Absolutely ridiculous! Ludicrous! I understand that middle school is a time of finding ourselves and that includes sexuality; and the relationship btwn Mina and Al was sweet and realistic. But here's what wasn't:

Al & Leo's mom becoming a couple
Leo coming out
The ENTIRE IBD support group being on the sexuality spectrum

If the author had stopped at the relationship btwn Mina and Al, it would have been perfect.