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Corn Daddy: A Steamed Short
He’s got the juice.
Liz has always had the worst luck with love. She can’t help falling for the bad boys, but they’re never willing to make her a priority. Being stood up at the annual fall corn maze is the last strike against her latest on-again-off-again dudebro. The farm is filled with happy couples, but Liz is ready to head home and concede her losses over a cup of spiked cider. It figures…The mysterious man hiding in the corn maze has an entirely different plan. He has eyes for Liz and isn’t willing to let her go so easily. He’s nothing like the guys Liz is used to dating, and she can’t get him off of her mind. He makes a fast and hot first move, and when he starts talking commitment, it makes Liz’s head spin.Is she ready to give up everything she’s ever known for the sake of true love and desire? Liz can’t help wondering if she has found her produce prince or if this is just another bad apple in her bushel.
60 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 18, 2023
65 people are currently reading
558 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 167 reviews
September 28, 2025
3.5 stars. Finally an author who had their creature’s penis look unique! A corn cob with ejaculate that tasted like butter? And that mammoth vegetable needed to be shucked during foreplay!? Brilliant! So this was about what I expected it to be. Interesting sexual encounters, some minor horror elements, and a ton of corn-related fetish stuff. Like if the Jolly Green Giant had a brother who was a sexual dynamo, that’s about what we were given. But it all worked. So it met the erotica and horror markers, and the introduction by the author gave a great perspective on the incoming tale. However, the biggest standout was the quality of the writing, which, normally, in erotic horrors is subpar to average at best. But Helena Woodcock demonstrated some solid skills and crafted something unique and entertaining. Fun, sexy, and a tad spooky, this was a positive experience.
June 11, 2024
Maybe this is too weird?
Yeah girl you’re fucking a literal corn on the cob of course this is weird.
His cum is butter tho so there’s that.
His cum is butter tho so there’s that.
June 10, 2024
Am I proud that I read this? No absolutely not. Did I lose a brain cell or two? Maybe. Do I regret it? No- Absolutely not. It only took an hour to read and I laughed so hard and was continuously surprised by the... creative ways that things were described.
July 11, 2024
It wasn't the Corn Daddy's completion being hot butter that did me in, but the fact that she went down to live with him in his corn cave forever and didn't tell anyone and there's a whole paragraph dedicated to cadaver dogs looking for her. Like, girl, tell someone you're a corn mommy now?
June 19, 2024
I can’t believe I read this 😂 but it was only 62 pages and free on kindle unlimited so why not.
July 6, 2024
Listen, this wasn't my proudest moment but I read it so you don't have to. Is the subject weird? Absolutely. Is this worst written weird smut I've read? Not at all. Aside from the bizarre topic, Helena is technically a good writer and entertaining.
Anyway, she does the dirty with a fantastical corn guy in a secret lair under a maze... It was funny but I never want to read the term "corngasm" or the phrase "shuck me" ever again.
Anyway, she does the dirty with a fantastical corn guy in a secret lair under a maze... It was funny but I never want to read the term "corngasm" or the phrase "shuck me" ever again.
Read
June 24, 2024Truly unhinged, but I laughed A LOT.
Read
July 13, 2024I don't want to kink shame anybody, so I won't.
I found this on booktok and curiosity got the better of me. Ten points for creativity!
I found this on booktok and curiosity got the better of me. Ten points for creativity!
April 29, 2025
and here's why... this is quite possibly the most wild ride I have experienced at the hands of a 60 page book. Just page after page of what in the ever loving corn field is going on.
I'm giving points here though for the wisdom of keeping such an adventure to 60 pages, and for the absolute insanity of the idea that grocery shopping might make a girl blush. Absolutely dead. My advice is take this as an opportunity to have a one sitting creative spice group read.
I'm giving points here though for the wisdom of keeping such an adventure to 60 pages, and for the absolute insanity of the idea that grocery shopping might make a girl blush. Absolutely dead. My advice is take this as an opportunity to have a one sitting creative spice group read.
June 16, 2024
I am not going to say this was a great read… but I also don’t regret it. And that’s all I’ll say about what I just consumed in those 62 pages 🫢☠️
June 10, 2024
Fucking lol wtf was this
July 7, 2024
You have been buttered
I swear these weird, short books have the best fun times. I had a few good laughs. Nice read when you are in the slumps and need something light.
I swear these weird, short books have the best fun times. I had a few good laughs. Nice read when you are in the slumps and need something light.
October 8, 2024
When corn daddy said "I'm corngasming" then corngasmed all over the cornmaze. Truly the book of all time.
November 25, 2023
Well-written but not ostentatious, ridiculous, smutty, juuuuust corny enough, everything I was hoping for. Thanks for a delightful brain break!
July 5, 2024
The phrase "shuck me" will effect me for the rest of my god forsaken life
December 24, 2024
Lol um what
Read
November 1, 2024I’ll never look at corn the same.
November 1, 2024
Not as smutty as I was hoping it would be. If we’re doing unhinged… give me all the puns and make me think WTF.
Writing was actually pretty good. And the plot was better imo than the smut.
Plot -2.5 ⭐️
Smut - 2 🍆
Writing was actually pretty good. And the plot was better imo than the smut.
Plot -2.5 ⭐️
Smut - 2 🍆
November 8, 2024
Forced to read this for the spicy book club book. I have no words. This is bizarre and cringe and not worth reading. I suffered so you don’t have to.
Read
March 31, 2025if you’re seeing this, no you didn’t. sometimes you just need to read an unhinged 60 page book for your goodreads goal
June 17, 2025
Alright. I knew what I was getting myself into and yet I’m still quite unnerved by reading this. I will never look at corn the same
October 20, 2025
Jesus Christ
June 20, 2024
I decided to download this book after seeing an Instagram Reel about it over the weekend. I can't believe I paid $3 for this, because it is simultaneously not worth that price and also a major steal. It was a fun, ridiculous hour of my life and I thoroughly enjoyed giggling and recording videos of myself reading certain passages to send to my partner. Also yes, it's true. Corn Daddy's c*m is melted butter.
November 19, 2024
For the bit.
January 15, 2025
Curiosity killed the cat, and I am dead. A friend of mine asked me to read this with them purely as a humorous joke. I cringed myself out with this one, I almost am too embarrassed to leave a review. Either way, I can say that I have never read anything like this…not sure I ever will again either.
July 30, 2024
The use of “mound” and “juicy valley” in reference to her vagina simply could not be overlooked
June 24, 2024
READ THIS STORY OUT LOUD WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER 🌽 It’s exceptionally written and delightfully graphic. My husband and I thoroughly enjoyed ourselves last night. Thank you for sharing your gift, Helena Woodcock! We can’t wait to read your next story.
July 8, 2024
₊꒰ ⊹ ࣪—˚Final thoughts
⥼~-✰-~⥽ ☽ ˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚＊☾ ⥼~-✰-~⥽
Short review ╭⊹ I’m not sure how to feel about this read was so cringy the trigger warnings did kinda put me off aswell..
the smutt/romance was still good as expected it would be!
Would I be reading this again… no… did I regret reading this? Half and half but was still a funny read to make you laugh so glad this book was free cos I would not be buying this read🫣
⥼~-✰-~⥽ ☽ ˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚＊☾ ⥼~-✰-~⥽
Short review ╭⊹ I’m not sure how to feel about this read was so cringy the trigger warnings did kinda put me off aswell..
the smutt/romance was still good as expected it would be!
Would I be reading this again… no… did I regret reading this? Half and half but was still a funny read to make you laugh so glad this book was free cos I would not be buying this read🫣
October 30, 2024
For a novella so short, the author manages to pack a whole lot of "what?" into it. It's pretty much the embodiment of if someone looked at an ear of corn and thought, "I could fuck that." But give the corn human-like qualities of a hot AF dude and "daddy" vibes. I personally have never looked at a vegetable and thought that it would be worth a try, but I suppose there are weirder things. This was definitely something, that's for sure.
First impressions: For a 62 page novella about having sex with corn, there are sooooo many potential trigger warnings. 26 to be exact. If you math that out, it's one trigger warning about every 2 pages. And based upon the author's note and the summary from Amazon, there are going to be a fair amount of vegetable puns.
This book starts off fairly tame, with our FMC Liz waiting for her date to show up at a corn maze. While she's waiting for Chaz to show up, she pontificates about their relationship. Turns out, after thinking about it, she and Chaz aren't really in a relationship, he's just a fuckboy and has gotten her off a couple of times and Liz is clinging to something that doesn't exist. When it's clear that Chaz isn't going to show, Liz decides to do the corn maze on her own - she prepaid for her ticket after all.
Unfortunately, while in the maze, Liz gets lost, claiming to be a "corn maze purist" and not taking the advice from the signs on how to get through the maze. While trying various methods to get out of the maze and just make it home, a fog descends upon the maze, giving it a lowkey eerie feeling. When Liz finally admits that she is truly lost, it's then that she hears a voice speaking out, saying, "found."
While she doesn't remember all the events after that, she wakes up and finds herself in a den of sorts, tied up with her arms outstretched. After some struggling, Liz realizes that she cannot escape her bonds and then tries screaming for help. Then a disembodied voice lets her know that she's been taken captive for breaking the rules of the maze, which were listed upon entering. Liz broke the corn and left the path; so the owner of this voice drugged her (the fog) and brought her to this den. After demanding to be let go, the man behind the voice lets Liz know that she'll be going nowhere until he allows it, and then tells her that they'll talk in the morning.
Her captor reveals himself to her in the morning, and it turns out he's not a man at all, but more so like a corn man that has man-like features (feet, calves, abdomen, chest, hands) but covered in layers of leaves, like a stalk of corn. Oh, and tells Liz that she can call him, "daddy." Corn Man is in his season and needs to find a queen and produce a crop for next season with said corn bride. Since he has a connection to the field, he sensed that Liz would be this person for him when she entered the maze and he sensed her pheremones. While Liz passes on the queen aspect of things, she decides to take Corn Man up on the sex.
Corn Man leaves her on the corn stalk cross and gets to warming Liz up, making sure to have her call him "daddy" while doing so. He's definitely into orgasm denial, and switches things up. Just as Liz is teetering on the edge of her orgasm, she lets "daddy" know that she really can't be his queen - that she's totally fine with banging - but isn't all for the queen stuff. Corn Man doesn't get her off and listens to her, sending her home, telling her she knows where to find him if she changes her mind.
Turns out that Corn Man's tongue and finger leaves left quite the impression and Liz finds herself yearning for his cob. So she does a totally normal thing and goes to the farmer's market to buy herself some corn to use on herself as a dildo. Don't worry though - she's not completely out of her mind. She boils the corn first because clearly the biggest issue with all of this is the potential to get vaginal worms. Priorities, ladies. Sadly, Liz's foray into produce doinking doesn't prove fruitful. After using the corn as a dildo (and dreaming about what Corn Man's knob is like) and not getting any kind of results, she reverts back to tried and true methods with no results or "oh" either. Turns out, the Corn Man himself was a lifechanging experience and it seems it's either the real deal, or no orgasm for Liz.
Out of options, Liz returns to the corn maze to get back to her corn daddy. After finding him and stripping naked in a corn maze, she tells him she wants to know what the angle of his dangle looks like. So he says a completely normal thing and tells her to, "shuck him" and to "peel back his sheath." His dick is exactly like you would expect - it's an ear of corn, complete with individual kernals and corn silk at the end. And apparently, unsheething him kinda rough does it for him. And his cock & cum tastes like butter. While laying in the mud of the corn field (honestly, that feels more unsanitary to me than shoving a veggie up the snatch), Liz get a different kind of golden shower and is coated in what is described as "hot buttered cum" that feels like decadent body oil. But that's not all! After he's done with covering her in his corn fluid, Corn Man licks Liz's feet clean; mud, cum, sweat, and all. And honestly, that's disgusting. I was on board until this point. Apparently, I'm down with vegetable sex, but am not okay with licking disgusting feet. Ya learn things about yourself every day I guess.
At this point, Liz is fed up. She's fellated the corn man, been covered in cum, but has gotten no release for herself. But Corn Man wants Liz to agree to be his queen first, and he gets her to agree by withholding her orgasm from her until she does. It culminates in quite the fucking, and ends with the statement, "Liz's corn had been successfully creamed." (told you the vegetable puns would likely be aplenty)
There is an epilogue, but it's basically just the next chapter, letting the reader know that Liz is pregnant with "cornlettes" and the Corn Man and she got their HEA. There really is someone for everyone.
First impressions: For a 62 page novella about having sex with corn, there are sooooo many potential trigger warnings. 26 to be exact. If you math that out, it's one trigger warning about every 2 pages. And based upon the author's note and the summary from Amazon, there are going to be a fair amount of vegetable puns.
This book starts off fairly tame, with our FMC Liz waiting for her date to show up at a corn maze. While she's waiting for Chaz to show up, she pontificates about their relationship. Turns out, after thinking about it, she and Chaz aren't really in a relationship, he's just a fuckboy and has gotten her off a couple of times and Liz is clinging to something that doesn't exist. When it's clear that Chaz isn't going to show, Liz decides to do the corn maze on her own - she prepaid for her ticket after all.
Unfortunately, while in the maze, Liz gets lost, claiming to be a "corn maze purist" and not taking the advice from the signs on how to get through the maze. While trying various methods to get out of the maze and just make it home, a fog descends upon the maze, giving it a lowkey eerie feeling. When Liz finally admits that she is truly lost, it's then that she hears a voice speaking out, saying, "found."
While she doesn't remember all the events after that, she wakes up and finds herself in a den of sorts, tied up with her arms outstretched. After some struggling, Liz realizes that she cannot escape her bonds and then tries screaming for help. Then a disembodied voice lets her know that she's been taken captive for breaking the rules of the maze, which were listed upon entering. Liz broke the corn and left the path; so the owner of this voice drugged her (the fog) and brought her to this den. After demanding to be let go, the man behind the voice lets Liz know that she'll be going nowhere until he allows it, and then tells her that they'll talk in the morning.
Her captor reveals himself to her in the morning, and it turns out he's not a man at all, but more so like a corn man that has man-like features (feet, calves, abdomen, chest, hands) but covered in layers of leaves, like a stalk of corn. Oh, and tells Liz that she can call him, "daddy." Corn Man is in his season and needs to find a queen and produce a crop for next season with said corn bride. Since he has a connection to the field, he sensed that Liz would be this person for him when she entered the maze and he sensed her pheremones. While Liz passes on the queen aspect of things, she decides to take Corn Man up on the sex.
Corn Man leaves her on the corn stalk cross and gets to warming Liz up, making sure to have her call him "daddy" while doing so. He's definitely into orgasm denial, and switches things up. Just as Liz is teetering on the edge of her orgasm, she lets "daddy" know that she really can't be his queen - that she's totally fine with banging - but isn't all for the queen stuff. Corn Man doesn't get her off and listens to her, sending her home, telling her she knows where to find him if she changes her mind.
Turns out that Corn Man's tongue and finger leaves left quite the impression and Liz finds herself yearning for his cob. So she does a totally normal thing and goes to the farmer's market to buy herself some corn to use on herself as a dildo. Don't worry though - she's not completely out of her mind. She boils the corn first because clearly the biggest issue with all of this is the potential to get vaginal worms. Priorities, ladies. Sadly, Liz's foray into produce doinking doesn't prove fruitful. After using the corn as a dildo (and dreaming about what Corn Man's knob is like) and not getting any kind of results, she reverts back to tried and true methods with no results or "oh" either. Turns out, the Corn Man himself was a lifechanging experience and it seems it's either the real deal, or no orgasm for Liz.
Out of options, Liz returns to the corn maze to get back to her corn daddy. After finding him and stripping naked in a corn maze, she tells him she wants to know what the angle of his dangle looks like. So he says a completely normal thing and tells her to, "shuck him" and to "peel back his sheath." His dick is exactly like you would expect - it's an ear of corn, complete with individual kernals and corn silk at the end. And apparently, unsheething him kinda rough does it for him. And his cock & cum tastes like butter. While laying in the mud of the corn field (honestly, that feels more unsanitary to me than shoving a veggie up the snatch), Liz get a different kind of golden shower and is coated in what is described as "hot buttered cum" that feels like decadent body oil. But that's not all! After he's done with covering her in his corn fluid, Corn Man licks Liz's feet clean; mud, cum, sweat, and all. And honestly, that's disgusting. I was on board until this point. Apparently, I'm down with vegetable sex, but am not okay with licking disgusting feet. Ya learn things about yourself every day I guess.
At this point, Liz is fed up. She's fellated the corn man, been covered in cum, but has gotten no release for herself. But Corn Man wants Liz to agree to be his queen first, and he gets her to agree by withholding her orgasm from her until she does. It culminates in quite the fucking, and ends with the statement, "Liz's corn had been successfully creamed." (told you the vegetable puns would likely be aplenty)
There is an epilogue, but it's basically just the next chapter, letting the reader know that Liz is pregnant with "cornlettes" and the Corn Man and she got their HEA. There really is someone for everyone.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 23, 2024
Dear Helena Woodcock. If you ever decide to make this book a physical thing... i will buy it. Just saying. Please think about it.
I enjoyed this one. This one brought me joy.
Our Female Lead, Lizzy, makes some questionable decisions. Our CDILF (Corn Daddy I'd Like to Fuck) was pretty toxic, but I too would probably ignore a few red flags if given the opportunity. I spent quite a bit of time questioning Lizzy. Not in a judgey way, but in a "if you want to fuck him, just go a fuck him, why you being difficult?" kind of way.
The end was... questionable. But I'm willing to overlook it.
Bottom line, this a wild ride, but still a fun one. Would recommend.
I enjoyed this one. This one brought me joy.
Our Female Lead, Lizzy, makes some questionable decisions. Our CDILF (Corn Daddy I'd Like to Fuck) was pretty toxic, but I too would probably ignore a few red flags if given the opportunity. I spent quite a bit of time questioning Lizzy. Not in a judgey way, but in a "if you want to fuck him, just go a fuck him, why you being difficult?" kind of way.
The end was... questionable. But I'm willing to overlook it.
Bottom line, this a wild ride, but still a fun one. Would recommend.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 167 reviews