Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down

by Dave Barry

Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry is a pretty amiable guy. But lately, he’s been getting a little worked up. What could make a mild-mannered man of words so hot under the collar? Well, a lot of things–like bad public art, Internet millionaires, SUVs, Regis Philbin . . . and even bigger problems, like• The slower-than-deceased-livestock left-lane drivers who apparently believe that the right lane is sacred and must never come in direct contact with tires• The parent-misery quotient of last-minute school science fair projects• Day trading and other careers that never require you to take off your bathrobe• The plague of the low-flow toilets, which is so bad that even in Miami, where you can buy drugs just by opening your front door and yelling “Hey! I want some crack,” you can’t even sell your first born to get a normal-flushing toiletDave Barry is not taking any of this sitting down. He’s going to stand up for the rights of all Americans against ridiculously named specialty “–chino” coffees and the IRS. Just as soon as he gets the darn toilet flushed.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Essays, Comedy, Audiobook, Anthologies, Biography

258 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 1, 2000

About the author

Dave Barry is a humor writer. For 25 years he was a syndicated columnist whose work appeared in more than 500 newspapers in the United States and abroad. In 1988 he won the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. Many people are still trying to figure out how this happened.
Dave has also written many books, virtually none of which contain useful information. Two of his books were used as the basis for the CBS TV sitcom "Dave's World," in which Harry Anderson played a much taller version of Dave.
Dave plays lead guitar in a literary rock band called the Rock Bottom Remainders, whose other members include Stephen King, Amy Tan, Ridley Pearson and Mitch Albom. They are not musically skilled, but they are extremely loud. Dave has also made many TV appearances, including one on the David Letterman show where he proved that it is possible to set fire to a pair of men's underpants with a Barbie doll.
In his spare time, Dave is a candidate for president of the United States. If elected, his highest priority will be to seek the death penalty for whoever is responsible for making Americans install low-flow toilets.
Dave lives in Miami, Florida, with his wife, Michelle, a sportswriter. He has a son, Rob, and a daughter, Sophie, neither of whom thinks he's funny.

Reviews

[James Swenson · Rating 3 out of 5]

A collection of columns. I injured my throat laughing at one of them, so I don't know if I should recommend it or not.

[F]or a moment I was afraid that they were just regular beans, and that I was being ripped off.

Then I thought: What kind of world is this when you worry that people might be ripping you off by selling you coffee that was NOT pooped out by a weasel?

So anyway, I ground the beans up and brewed the coffee and drank some. You know how sometimes, when you're really skeptical about something, but then you finally try it, you discover that it's really good, way better than you would have thought possible? This is not the case with Luwak coffee. Luwak coffee, in my opinion, tastes like somebody washed a dead cat in it.

[Lisa (Harmonybites) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-Winning syndicated columnist and humorist based in the Miami Herald. This particular collection of 72 of his columns, published in 2000, was recommended in the Humor Section of The Ultimate Reading List. That's why I tried this--I'm not really a fan of joke or humor books in general, and this didn't do much to change that. Barry is funny. I did often grin madly and quietly snicker, and it takes a lot to get even that much of rise out of me from a book, and it happened in column after column. I guess the reason I don't rate this higher is that I can't see this as a keeper I'd want to read again and again. As he says himself, his columns are limited to 800 words, and being newspaper columns are very topical--so topical they don't always age well. These were published in the 1990s and there's lots of mentions of trivia of the day from The Blair Witch Project to--I am not making this up--those damn non-flushing toilets (TM). Several on that subject in fact from "The Toilet Police," "Smuggler's Blues," "Head to Head" and "And Don't Forget Tassels for All the Generals." I did from those get a novel insult for my Canadian friends, "maple breath" and Barry was often dead on about the gender wars. From "Rubber-Band Man" about a man flying a plane propelled by a giant rubber band and the contrasting reactions:

Male Reaction: "Cool!"

Female Reaction: "Why?"

I think Barry speaks for my entire female gender there. And the illustrations can be as witty as the essays. See the one to "Eye of the Beholder" on public avant garde art. So, likable, fun collection, even if it never quite got me to let loose with loud guffaws such as, say Bill Bryson's From a Sunburned Country or Pratchett and Gaiman's Good Omens.

[Kris]

Aroused more smiles than laughs. When read all together, the pattern of Barry’s column writing becomes pretty obvious and repetitive (introduce political or social issue in a seemingly serious way, spout a completely absurd take on the issue, end with a callback to one of the absurd statements). Still, smiles are nothing to sneer at.

It’s kind of bittersweet to see the things that people considered noteworthy in the year 2000. Things were just ordinarily crappy unlike the current shit storm.

[C. Adam Volle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Since Dave Barry is best in column-sized doses, collections of his columns like this one make excellent bathroom reading. Admittedly, it's possible I'm being subconsciously influenced by the cover.

[Derrick Clements · Rating 4 out of 5]

Humor columnist Dave Barry doing what Dave Barry does. He was one of my favorite writers when I was in high school, and this is a great collection of his essays.

[Duane · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another great book from Dave Barry. If you need a good laugh, don't hesitate to pick up this book or any of the other books he's written. A gem of a funny book!

[Eric · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dave Barry is so good at what he does that I found it frustrating to laugh so hard and then fail so miserably when trying to retell his stuff to my wife.

[Anne · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's refreshing to read a humor book where the author doesn't feel the need to use foul language to make it funnier. Dave Barry is hilarious. I can't wait to read more. Thank you Valerie!

[Pamela Crist · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anything by Dave Barry is always good, clean, hilarious entertainment, this book included!

[Clive Hazell · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good laugh

This is good funny stuff. It definitely cheers me up. He has a real gift for the amusing metaphor or hyperbole.

[Brett · Rating 3 out of 5]

To my middle school aged self, there was no one on earth funnier than Dave Barry. To my adult self, these books are essentially nostalgic time-wasters. Not without enjoyment, but not the riotous experience of a 14 year old, either.

This is another collection of Barry's newspaper columns, originally published in 2000. Lots of references, as you'd expect, to Bill Clinton's presidency, and other touchstones of the late 1990s. Low-water toilets, as you might gather from the cover, are a particular subject of conversation, and Barry dedicates several columns to them.

I'm guessing that, given how widely his column is syndicated, most newspaper readers have come across it a time or two. If so, you know exactly what you're getting here. I'm not certain of the timeline, but I believe that Barry left his employ at the Miami Herald around this time, so this may be the last of his collected columns, at least from that paper.

I bought my copy at a used bookstore, and was surprised to see it was an autographed copy. It must have been written to another guitar aficionado, because Barry inscribed it "I'll play rhythm, you play lead," adding that at 6:45 in the morning, he could barely spell "rhythm." It always makes me vaguely sad to see these personalized copies for sale, but that's not really keeping with the spirit of the book.

[Jerry Jares · Rating 4 out of 5]

The cover shows Dave Barry sitting on a toilet, reading his Miami newspaper. With such a scene, the reader is immediately sure the prose inside will be of the highest caliber. Dear old Dave lampoons the things in his life that cause him grief, such as 1.6-gallon toilets and 1 million dollar missing missiles (lost by our diligent military), and so on.

These are obviously newspaper articles from the late 1990s to 2000. I guess my favorites of these have to do with manly tools, which Dave should never be allowed near. It gives him an inflated sense of ability. However, I don't feel so anxious about my husband using manly tools now; no one is as bad as Dave.

[Josh Fritz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ever read a comedic column in the newspaper? Wonderful! Just do that for 230 pages and you've read the book.

Dave Barry is amusing. I will give credit where credit is due. But, reading his humor in book form is akin to having sushi for every meal. It's fun for a minute, then it just turns into a chore.

This book became a chore.

Sure, I could have put it down. But, my reading goal! So, yeah. It's great as a bathroom reader, because it's not like you're going to get caught up in a plot point.

5 stars for bathroom reading. 3 stars for grown-up reading time.

[Bob Mendelsohn · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a joyful experience to read a Dave Barry book, and even better to hear it read by the author. Ok Dave didn’t read it but I imagined it was he. Very funny.

The toilet chapters were great; the IRS/ government rambling memorable. His Passover connection was a surprise. The Zokor issue was laugh-out-loud. His commentary on the music and the lyrics and his own history with 50s and 60s music is delightful.

You won’t regret taking the time to read his spoonerisms and anachronistic mingling. A fun time for sure.

[Marian · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a treat.

It had been years since I had read a Dave Barry book, and now I remember why I used to refer to his books as the first line of defense in the War on Depression. Also, I like very silly things; and, for me, Mr. Barry is a master of writing things that are exceedingly silly but not annoyingly so.

[Tricia · Rating 4 out of 5]

So funny and clever. It was written in the 90s so reading it in 2021, made some of the topics out-of-date, but still funny. I like Barry's style - short "newspaperish" columns - that tie everything together quickly. My only criticism is that there were too many jokes about the Canadian toilets - it was funny the first two times, but too repetitive after that.

[Pete Springer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I used to read quite Dave Barry's column regularly and found many of his pieces hysterical. This compilation was far from what I remembered. There were some funny pieces mixed in (maybe one out of every four), but several were just not up to par with his usual humor. The sarcasm is still there but some of the sharp wit is not.

[Dorothy Timm · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny book. Yes, I laughed out loud in spots. On rare occasions it was a little slow, but the funny areas more than made up for it. Probably not the most mature humor, but maybe that's why I found it funny!

[Dale Safford · Rating 3 out of 5]

This work is funny at first, but is the same type of sarcastic humor throughout. It was safe to listen to with my mother, and she got a big bang out of it! Excellent reader (Dick Hill).

Dave Barry gets witty about the IRS, men, women, and many other subjects.

[Kristal Stidham · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rudy the Fare Chicken! Almost better than slamming Donald Trump for being a greasy freak of nature.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I broke my foot, so I sat around and read a lot this week. Dave Barry is the funniest guy ever. I cannot get through a single column without guffawing at something. It's humor good for healing.

[Don Paske · Rating 4 out of 5]

most of the columns are very funny. Somewhat dated topics, but that is what I get for reading it long after it was written!

[Josh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Without fail, Dave Barry makes me laugh out loud.

[Lawanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audiobook performed by Dick Hill

[Ed · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ha

[Katherine · Rating 1 out of 5]

Might be a bit humorous as newpaper columns but was pretty dull in book form, and just not that funny.

[MisterFweem · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've had a long liking of Dave Barry's columns. And even though these are a bit nineties, they still make me laugh.

[Shannon Kauderer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some of the articles are still hilarious, and some just aren't relevant anymore. It's a fine book to keep in the bathroom, or to read one or two parts of while waiting in a line, etc.

[Bill Yarbrough · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading Big Trouble then watching the Big Trouble movie, Dave Barry delivers clean absolute funny stuff!!!

[Anna]

Dave Barry is always funny and this book is no exception. I really enjoy his columns and sense of humor. I especially like it when he writes about actual articles his fans send him.