Throughout the forty-some books that Henri Nouwen wrote and the hundreds of talks that he gave, the subject of Prayer runs through them all and unites them. For him a life of faith is a life of prayer. Drawn from many decades of his life, the compilation of Henri's thoughts, feelings, and the struggle with prayer, reveal the core of the man and his belief that prayer is the only necessary thing.
Henri Jozef Machiel Nouwen was a Dutch Catholic priest, theologian, psychologist, professor, and spiritual writer whose work profoundly shaped contemporary Christian spirituality. Born in Nijkerk, the Netherlands, in 1932, Nouwen pursued religious studies and was ordained a priest in 1957. His intellectual curiosity led him to study psychology at the Catholic University of Nijmegen and later at the Menninger Clinic in Kansas, where he explored the connection between faith and mental health. Throughout his life, Nouwen remained committed to integrating pastoral care, psychology, and spiritual theology in a way that addressed the emotional and existential needs of believers. Nouwen held teaching positions at prestigious institutions including the University of Notre Dame, Yale Divinity School, and Harvard Divinity School. He authored over three dozen books and hundreds of articles, with notable works such as The Wounded Healer, The Return of the Prodigal Son, Life of the Beloved, and The Inner Voice of Love. His writing, often rooted in personal vulnerability and spiritual struggle, resonated with readers across denominations. Nouwen openly explored themes of loneliness, identity, intimacy, and the human desire for love and belonging, making his voice especially relatable and influential. Though he was a gifted academic and popular speaker, Nouwen found his deepest calling later in life through his involvement with L’Arche, a network of communities for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. After a transformative stay at the original L’Arche community in France, Nouwen accepted an invitation to become the pastor of L’Arche Daybreak in Richmond Hill, Ontario. There he developed a close bond with Adam Arnett, a core member with severe disabilities, which inspired the book Adam: God’s Beloved. At Daybreak, Nouwen discovered a deep spiritual home and a community that helped him embrace his humanity in profound ways. Throughout his life, Nouwen wrestled with issues of identity, including his sexuality and his longing for connection, though he remained faithful to his vows. His openness about depression and inner conflict gave depth to his pastoral message, and his ability to turn personal struggle into shared spiritual insight made him one of the most beloved spiritual writers of the 20th century. Henri Nouwen died in 1996 of a sudden heart attack, but his legacy endures through his writings, the Henri Nouwen Society, and the continued global reach of his message of belovedness, vulnerability, and compassionate community. His books remain bestsellers, widely read in seminaries, churches, and among individuals seeking a more intimate walk with God.
Every once in awhile you come across a book that hits you at just EXACTLY the right time on just EXACTLY the right topic at just EXACTLY the right depth. I tried to read this book a few years ago and just couldn't muddle through, but last week I picked it up with the thought, 'Either I read this book or I donate it - no sense continuing to store & dust it!' and it ended up being a divine appointment.
Henri Nouwen is relatively unknown to me, but he smacks of an old-school style of writing that I find easy enough to read but incredibly challenging (in the best sense of the word) to digest. There is depth to his work that reflects a connection with God that I have never experienced.
This particular book is a compilation of excerpts from something like 29 of his books - all small snippets on the practice if prayer. And perhaps that was my fatal flaw a few years ago when I attempted to read. I wasn't even at a level of prayer that could comprehend the things Henri alludes to. But my depth has grown immensely in this past year and the words that stumped me before are now whispers of invitation into the next level of prayer.
I started reading this book this past spring and was off and on with it for a while until I started incorporating it into my morning readings. Once I did (and to be honest, I did so because I wanted to slowly read and digest Nouwen's wisdom), I would read an excerpt a day and be refreshed and renewed with new truths and reminders about God. It sustained me through a crisis of faith and depression that I went through this past summer, with a fresh daily reminder that God truly and really loves me.
The book itself is broken into topical chapters with little paragraph excerpts from Nouwen's vast collection of writings. Well condensed and expertly edited, it is an easy read to get through quickly, but in doing so, you would miss all the true wisdom that Nouwen has to impart about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and real Christian living and loving. You don't want to rush through this book.
I wish I could properly convey the wisdom, knowledge, and genuineness that Nouwen imparts in his writings. All I can say is that it changed my life in sustaining my faith by deepening and strengthening it. It spoke clearly to my heart and my head, and through his words, helped me to gain a little more understanding and a lot more love for the Lord that I passionately love and adore.
An extraordinary effort by Wendy Greer to consolidate and arrange some of Nouwen's thinking on prayer. It warms your heart, even as it hurts your head. Nouwen's being a Dutch Roman Catholic priest living in Canada and teaching at universities helps explain why he is occasionally obtuse, even while he has some great ideas.
This is the way to read Nouwen. As much as I love and have benefited from Fr. Nouwen over the years, I have often found myself thinking that his books could be consolidated into a collection of essays (with the exception of “Return of the Prodigal Son.” I want every word of that one.). This collection of excerpts from his other works, organized by theme/topic, is a great way to be introduced to Fr. Nouwen’s writing. Bite-sized chunks of text that got me thinking and praying.
This was an excellent little book to pick up for short bursts when I needed encouragement to keep praying and seeking to live more closely with God. May we take time to be in solitude with God and "discover how deeply we are loved by God" (p 43).
It was a helpful time in my life to hear that "actions that lead to overwork, exhaustion, and burnout can't praise or glorify God" (p 142).
Why is prayer both something we long for and something that is so difficult? Because it "is the act by which we divest ourselves of all false belongings and become free to belong to God and God alone. This explains why, although we often feel a real desire to pray, we experience at the same time a strong resistance.... We realize that the closer we come to God the stronger will be God's demand to let go of the many 'safe' structures we have built around ourselves" (p 39).
Also, I was also struck by the idea that one reason praying for our enemies is so valuable is that it is an "event of reconciliation" since they "receive a place in our hearts." For "each time you pray, really pray for your enemies, you'll notice your heart is being made new. Within your prayer, you quickly discover that your enemies are in fact your fellow human beings loved by God just as much as yourself.... I find it difficult to conceive of a more concrete way to love than by praying for one's enemies" (p 154 - 155).
Being vs Doing. "A life without a quiet center easily becomes destructive. When we cling to the result of our actions as our only way of self-identification, then we become possessive and defensive.... In solitude [with God] we can slowly unmask the illusion of our possessiveness and discover in the center of our own self that we are not what we can conquer, but what is given to us.... It is in this solitude that we discover that being is more important than having, and that we are worth more than the result of our efforts" (p 42 - 42).
Such a deep well of insight for a life of prayer. I've seen a lot of growth in my intimacy with the Lord as I've applied these practices, especially silence and solitude. I appreciate the paradigm shifts that are also presented like Nouwen's interpretation of how to "pray without ceasing", which can seem oh so elusive. Finally, big props to the editors because it's crazy that this actually is a compilation of Nouwen's various works because it does for the most part come off as incredibly cohesive and if anything has me excited to look deeper into the individual references. Nouwen continues to be a role model and inspiration in my discipleship!
This is a collection of writings and prayers from Henri Nouwen. He was a profound thinker and effective writer, and I found some gold among these nuggets of his thoughts, for sure. I imagine I will refer back to this book off and on, looking for insight about a particular religious season or faith challenge.
I cannot recommend this book enough. A compilation of works that redirected my heart and mind to the loving character that is not merely a part of God, but is all of who God is. If you desire to deepen your understanding of what it is to live a prayerful life I would encourage you to include this book in your research.
LOVED! I think Nouwen was an exceptional communicator. His words are honest, clear, beautiful, and captivating.
This is a compilation of his different commentaries and thoughts on prayer throughout his written works. It makes for a great devotional or reference. It’s helped me pick out specific works of his that I want to read next, too. His thoughts on prayer in community, discipline, and “belovedness” were my favorite chapters.
I am a sucker for Nouwen and this curated compilation of writings about a life of prayer was no exception. There were sections I had a difficult time connecting with, but by and large, very impactful.
Love this book! If you are a Nouwen fan, this is a must-read. All of his best writings on prayer filed under topics like solitude, unceasing prayer, hindrances, community, eternal life, etc. The excerpts are short and make great devotions.
This is a gathering of Nouwen's writings around fourteen themes, and then the fifteenth, and last, chapter is a brief collection of his prayers. This is a fine book, good for getting the essence of Nouwen's writings and good for serious thinking, and praying, about the themes addressed in the book.
The ‘Only Necessary Thing' is one fine book that I wished did not end.
Henry Nouwen is a contemporary theologian, philosopher that I would consider in the ranks of CS Lewis, Chesterton, Merton etc.
The book is about living a prayerful life with real nerve raking thoughts and exhortations to consider faith in Christ as the norm and a necessity to live a meaningful, content life. I read it at a very slow pace pausing every now and then to embellish the discussions while enjoying the truth. It felt so good.
Of his 40 plus books I have read a few earlier. This book is a remarkable compilation, collection of thoughts from his many books, nicely presented by one of his students Wendy Geer.
For me, faith is personal and precious. It is one’s choice. One can choose to live without and also with faith. It is tough to say yes to faith because a reasoning mind will judge itself, question itself always. That is my experience.
Spiritual readings such as Nouwen’s book will certainly help whenever we are challenged to choose between the two. An excerpt from the book is an example.
“I am still so divided. I truly want to follow you, but I also want to follow my own desires and lend an ear to the voices that speak about prestige, success, human respect, pleasure, power, and influence. Help me to become deaf to these voices and more attentive to your voice, which calls me to choose the narrow road to life.”
Though the bottom line is, if at all one chooses to pursue faith, it should be of spiritual realm and not bound within religious prescriptions.
The last chapter is a collection of about 15 pages of wonderful prayers. A well thought out way to conclude this fine set of spiritual readings.
Dear God,
Speak gently in my silence. When the loud outer noises of my surroundings and the loud inner noises of my fears keep pulling me away from you, help me to trust that you are still there even when I am unable to hear you.
Give me ears to listen to your small, soft voice saying: “Come to me, you who are overburdened, and I will give you rest… for I am gentle and humble of heart.”
There's no good reason this short collection of quotes should have taken me two months to read.
Really it comes down to two things - firstly, I am bad at meditation and so I am bad at digesting books like these that are just a grab bag of interesting thoughts. Hypothetically you ought to sit with it and think it over instead of just pushing through a chapter before bed. I like a narrative! An argument! So I wasn't super motivated with this one, despite how much I appreciate Nouwen's insight. Second, I am bad at prayer (which is maybe the same thing as being bad at meditation? Hmmm...) and so while Nouwen's broad display of thought makes a good argument for a "prayerful life" I still struggle to bring any of it to action. We can thank several long years of hardship and mistrust for that.
There's also something to be said about how much has come out about L'Arche and Vanier over the years that tempts me to put Nouwen a bit at arm's length. Luckily, it seems Nouwen wasn't connected to Vanier's abuse in any tangible way, and given that this compilation was edited by a woman from his community there certainly seems to be an element of trust there - but the politics of church and power are messy. Still, the thing that always draws me to Nouwen is his humility, how he sees himself as a learner more than a teacher; even this collection is mostly filled with his admission that "living a prayerful life" is a hard task, one he routinely fails at. Celebrity worship is a dangerous thing, as is creating an image of the author from the text, but if nothing else the substance of Nouwen's reflections seem like they would be opposed to Vanier's actions, and that gives me at least some relief. Only time will tell what the truth is.
Some 25 years ago I read the title of this book and thought, "Really? The only necessary thing? This guy must be mistaken!" I did not know anything about Henri Nouwen, and I did not know nearly enough about prayer (though I clearly thought I knew enough about what is necessary in life).
Through the years, I've seen this book over and over. I began to think, "Maybe he's on to something?"
I finally got a copy and read it, slowly - savoring it and soaking in the wisdom of Nouwen regarding the intersection of prayer and life.
When you truly understand prayer, it's source and outcomes, it truly is the only necessary thing, for it permeates all of life (when done correctly).
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and wish I had read it all those years ago when I first saw it. Grab a copy. Read it slowly and carefully. Enjoy the spiritual growth you will experience by growing in prayer!
Certainly belongs on the shelf of anyone hoping to learn how to pray.
“As soon as we are alone… an inner chaos opens up in us. This chaos can be so disturbing and so confusing that we can hardly wait to get busy again...
In solitude, we come to know the Spirit who has already been given to us. The pains and struggles we encounter in our solitude thus become the way to hope, because our hope is not based on something that will happen after our sufferings are over, but on the real presence of God's healing Spirit in the midst of these sufferings. The discipline of solitude allows us gradually to come in touch with this hopeful presence of God in our lives, and allows us also to taste even now the beginnings of the joy and peace which belong to the new heaven and the new earth.”
What a timely book. It was initially very different from what I anticipated. This book is a compilation of all of Nouwen’s books/manuscripts/journals and organized into different categories around living a prayerful life. Part of the book for me was hard to engage in because at points I felt the choppiness of it. But the quality of Nouwen’s thoughts and writing overcame some of the disjointedness for me. Nouwen has a way of speaking to the most broken parts of me, exposing them, and ultimately comforting me. I cannot think of another author who has done that more consistently for me, and in multiple books, the way Nouwen has. Get your hands on every book you can by him, including this one!
This is a collection of snippets from various books, sermons and articles by Nouwen on the subject of prayer. They're grouped by topic and then at the end there is a selection of prayers (that are great!) plus specific prayers for individual seasons like Lent, Advent, etc.
It's a marvellous collection highlighting Nouwen's heart for God and his own struggles with prayer. Like all good books on prayer, I found myself praying as a result of reading it which is a positive recommendation for the book.
The chapters on Solitude, Belovedness, and Forgiveness are especially beautiful and helpful. “The voice that calls us the Beloved is the voice of freedom because it sets us free to love without wanting anything in return. This has nothing to do with self-sacrifice, self-denial, or self-deprecation. But it has everything to do with the abundance of love that has been freely given to me and from which I want to freely give.”
This is a great book to meander through slowly-just a few paragraphs a day. It’s broken up throughout the book with various excerpts from Nouwen’s various books. He has a beautiful way of looking at life with God, and these writings center on prayer. He always does a good job of focusing us on the importance of spending intentional time getting rid of distractions, spending time in quiet, and communing with God & others in heart relationship.
This little volume is an edited collection of thoughts on prayer culled out of the various writings of the late contemplative Catholic priest. Most the selections are paragraph length and therefore can be used as thoughtful devotional meditations. Nouwen considers the topics of solitude, listening, community, hindrances and forgiveness, amongst others.
This compilation of Nouwen quotes and thoughts provides a great supplement to one's devotional time ... or anytime for that matter. His insight into contemplative prayer lived out in the many difficult contexts of his life is a true help for the Christian who wants to go deeper in his/her prayer life.
I finished this book this morning, though I am sure I will go back to it many times. What a marvelous collection of Nouwen’s writings on prayer! I recommend it to all who might want to explore prayer more deeply.
Henri JM Nouwen led such an active prayerful life. I enjoyed reading about his practice of using prayer in his everyday life. It inspired me to take a closer look into my own prayer life. My favorite part was when he referenced a trapeze artist and his catcher to God and us.
Full disclosure: I never finished this book. I love Nouwen, but found this just a collection from other places and it didn’t have the cohesiveness of other things I had read by him, so I put it to the side and opted to use my time on things I enjoyed.
Not what I was expecting. Did not flow. Had some great one liners and paragraphs that have stayed with me - in particular, prayer as a way of being and living, like breathing. Talking to God all day, as I go about my day as prayer.