The Long Haul

by Amanda Stern

The Long Haul is about a frozen relationship between a college-aged alcoholic ("The Alcoholic") and his codependent girlfriend (the protagonist whose name is never spoken). Shifting between Upstate New York and New York City, the story follows the trajectory of their doomed six-year relationship.
The Alcoholic is a college-town musician—a shiftless, disturbed yet oddly gentle and pathetic figure, he demands fealty and receives it from his girlfriend, who sees no choice but to stick with him for "the long haul."
The protagonist, infatuated both by his irredeemably broken state off-stage and his Cobain-esque charisma on-stage, follows him everywhere. But she can barely apprehend the hollowness inside the two of them, fascinated instead by the trauma she encounters everywhere, an abandoned child, a pregnant junkie, a self-mutilating college friend…and in him.
In an effort to find their way in the world, they drive through an ice-storm, kidnap an abandoned girl, break into a house, make and break the same promises, uncover the futile existence of lost causes, and forsake their own needs. As the redemption they found in the other turns to ruin, these two addicted youths find that extricating themselves from the other is not as easy as sacrifice.

Genres: Fiction

128 pages, Paperback

First published September 19, 2003

About the author

Amanda Stern is the author of the memoir Little Panic, the novel The Long Haul, and eleven books for children written under pseudonyms. In 2003, she founded the Happy Ending Music and Reading Series which she ran until 2016, at Joe’s Pub and later at Symphony Space. She currently writes the psychology and mental health newsletter "How to Live" at https://amandastern.bulletin.com

Reviews

[Sophy H · Rating 3 out of 5]

*Re-read February 2023- A thoroughly depressing piece of literature! I still have no doubt that Stern is a talented writer but even Barfly (which this writing brought to mind) had funny moments. This book is all misery and doom. I can't. So off it goes from the bookshelf cull to the local library. Drop from a 5 to a 3.5 star.

Original review:
Talented writing here by Amanda Stern.
A suitably painful, torturous story about a girl in a slowly degrading relationship with an alcoholic. All the "coolness" in the world won't stop the feelings of emptiness and desolation which come from constantly having to massage a fragile yet destructive ego.
Amanda Stern feels as though she has lived this life, such is the reality in her writing.
Not an easy story to read but excellent literary skill.
Reminds me of the film Barfly in some respects.

[Issy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this book up on an Amsterdam street market for two euros - it was the only English book I could find! Consequently I didn't have high hopes, but it turned out to be an ok read. I thought the story got a little stagnant in some parts, but mostly it was quick and decent enough. Not amazing, not awful - a solid 3 star read.

[Oriana · Rating 4 out of 5]

aaah, nothing better than a book found on the street. how do people live in places where this doesn't happen?

***

I am so so so backed up on reviews; I just want to get something done and off my pile, so this'll be short & sweet. This book surprised me, which is always a delight. I definitely didn't expect it to be anything special, but I really liked it. It's the kind of book that's written just for me, for my particular love of angst and despair and head-over-heels-into-the-abyss-together-ness. It's two just-post-college kids, the alcoholic rocker and his devoted buttress of love, the girl who is herself too fucked up to be even considering what it means to love, let alone allowing herself to become the entire support system for a terribly depressed codependent mess. There's music and drugs and drinking and breakdowns and a fair amount of wallowing in exquisite misery, but -- FOR ME -- it stays just on this side of the line that separates meaningful devastation from melodramatic emo bullshit. Certainly others will feel differently. Best of all, the prose is musical, lyrical, liquid. The metaphors are sparse and tentative, peeking out just when you need them, not cloying or overwhelming. Nicely done.

[Terri · Rating 4 out of 5]

I sometimes, when in a book store, randomly buy a book that is written by an author I have never heard of. Sometimes doing this turns out badly, sometimes it turns out well. This is one of those randomly picked up books that turned out well. The book is a quick read, but the story is well written and has an interesting plot. Dark and introspective in a way that is not cliche or overdone.

[Joe Naftali · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to say -- I stayed up late for hours reading this on the day it arrived in the mail. Well past when I really needed to go to bed that night. I couldn't put it down. Amanda Stern's style is clean and crisp, she isn't overly wordy, has a great vocab, and speaks of a time and era I know so well... being in your 20's in the 90's. She had her highs, but they really aren't covered in this incredible, but short, piece of work. I can't wait until the next book!

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book after seeing the author's monthly reading series in NYC. I thought that the writing was phenomenal. There were so many quotes and bits and pieces I wanted to go back and re-read.

The subject matter is depressing but Amanda approaches it with humor and humility and that makes the book more approachable. I read it in 24 hours and I want to go back and read it again. I hope she writes more!

[Nicholas Beck · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some clunky metaphors not withstanding. (I thought she was trying a little too hard at times), this novel actually improves as it progresses so was worth sticking with. Her protagonists are of course self-indulgent to the nth degree as they self-medicate their way through life (She does provide a backstory of some sorts for the "alcoholic") so your reading mileage may vary. Overall not too bad for a first effort just try not to have Kurt Cobain in your mind as you read.

[Arianna · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick and interesting read, for the most part. It was too short for me to find much to be critical of; it seemed to me to be the typical college-relationship-type book, though. I enjoyed the relationship saga, though, and especially the ending was very moving & real. I just feel like it all went by too quickly to have much of an opinion on it, one way or the other. So I'd say it was good.

[Cherie · Rating 2 out of 5]

B Negative cyclical novel

[Derick Lugo · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story may have dragged a bit, but the writing style kept me wanting more. I was bummed to have read the last words of this book. I'll be looking for more Amanda Stern reads.