Joan: The true story of how I became Britain’s most notorious diamond thief

by Joan Hannington

Diamonds are a girl's best friend

Joan Hannington was the most notorious female figure in London's criminal underworld during the 80s, earning her the nickname 'The Godmother'. With her stunning looks and glamorous wardrobe, Joan was constantly underestimated, but she used this to her advantage and became an undetected mastermind in high-stakes jewellery theft. Often transforming herself into different characters, Joan seamlessly got away with millions of pounds in diamonds.

Coming from a violent, loveless childhood, Joan learnt to trust no one but herself. At seventeen, she becomes a mother, but is trapped in a disastrous marriage with a brutal thug. When he goes on the run, Joan seizes the moment to leave her old life. Motivated by her desire to care for her daughter, Joan gets swept up in the exhilarating world of a life of crime and makes some heartbreaking decisions as she sets her sights on a better life.

Joan is the true story of her meteoric rise from petty offender to one of Britain's most accomplished diamond thieves, making a success of life by not playing by the rules when the odds seemed stacked against her.

Genres: Crime, Biography, Memoir, True Crime, Nonfiction, True Story, Audiobook

313 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 27, 2002

Reviews

[Jayne · Rating 5 out of 5]

This true story of Britain's notorious jewel thief
is a royal gem. 💍💎💰👑💍🪩

Yes, similar to the sparkling diamonds Joan Hannington brazenly pilfered, this book was brilliant in so many ways.

From the book's first paragraph, I was captivated by Joan's journey from an indigent abused child to becoming one of London's wealthiest and most notorious jewel thieves.

How did Joan steal diamonds?

She swallowed them!

Known as the godmother of London’s criminal underworld, Joan made millions by swallowing real diamonds and swapping them with fakes.

Joan's feistiness, uncompromising attitude, and resilience were charismatic, and I was rooting for her throughout all of her transgressions.

Originally published in 2002 and released in 2024, this book was endearing, gripping, and jaw-dropping, in a good way.

I am currently watching "Joan" on BritBox, starring Sophie Turner, and it is outstanding.

I listened to the audiobook read by Kim Taylforth, who did a fabulous job with the narration.

My first 10-star read of 2025!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[Celeste Man · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hmmm, I don’t read many autobiographies so I don’t know how this would compare with others, however I didn’t enjoy the read so much. Less about diamond thieving really and more about Joan’s upbringing, relationship and traumas. I found the chapters a little hard to follow too 🤝

[Sam Merrett-Williams · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've never a biography before & have generally purposely avoided them. However, having seen adverts for the TV series Joan (which looks brilliant), I really wanted to watch it.. but then when I realised there was this book out, I decided I'd try the book first.
I think it's fair to say that Joan has had one hell of a life..

[Kim Leigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of a similar age to Joan, married into a big Irish Catholic family and living in West London at the same time, I can relate so much to Joan's story. It brought back many memories for me, both good and bad. What an amazing life. I would dearly love to meet this lady. Would she write more about her life from where she finished off in 'Joan'? I would certainly read it!

[A J HOOPER · Rating 2 out of 5]

True story of a hard woman. Joan Hannington had an appalling childhood which set her on the road to robbery. She perfected the art of swallowing diamonds and walking away with them. She lost her first daughter (who was adopted) but is proud of her son Bennie, a musician.

[Alex · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of violence and not so much about the diamond thefts

[Michael Rumney · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fascinating insight into a life of crime or on the edges of it. I was drawn to the book by diamond thief, but felt there wasn't enough of diamond thieving in the account. Instead there is a lot of child abuse and violence, with an under current of you don't grass to the coppers.
Hannington's writing style is straight to the point and her no nonsense attitude comes through.
One tthing that struck me when the author mentions it in the book is how armed robbery in the seventies and eighties has now been replaced by drug crime.
It's obvious Hannington cares about family and it's equally obvious you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of her.

[Eve Dangerfield · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was thoroughly entertained and laughed a lot, which is saying a great deal for Joan’s character and her sense of humour because she also had a childhood so abusive at times it turned my head around. I’m going to watch the show with Sophie Turner and I really hope it does this memoir justice because it’s exactly the ‘slice of life’ + ‘holy fuck that’s insane’ I want when I read these kind of things. End was kinda strange but. Confusing I guess. There’s holes and there’s undoubtedly personal reasons why that are JH’s business but the slightly unsatisfying ending is why it’s not rated higher.

[cawtney naish · Rating 4 out of 5]

definitely a crazy read!! poor joan what a queen though. was a bit boring in the middle but worth the read x

[Jane Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very good read x

[Izzy Floyd · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super interesting story of her life. Easy to read, much better than the TV show

[Sian Pankhurst · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an interesting life and story, rags to riches with lots of trauma and loss inbetween the good times

[Toni · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a gritty and fascinating insight into the life of a diamond thief. Joan takes us through her challenging upbringing and relationships that led to her being one of our most notorious criminals. She’s a strong and feisty woman, and an inspiration in many ways.

[Pamela Daniels · Rating 5 out of 5]

Couldn't put this book down. The TV drama was excellent but this book gave much more of insight into her life

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a marvellous read..I thoroughly enjoyed this book, travelling through Joan's memories, through hiests, her terrible early life, the sadness of losing her daughter, discovering her husband and creating a new life with him. Though it wasn't easy for Joan, she was likeable and straight and even though the book has some colourful language, I really enjoyed listening along to it, it was quite refreshing to hear from a book. I certainly enjoyed learning about Joan and going from strength to strength with her, she was so fiesty but I could see she was also kind but she was no idiot. She had a really interesting way of living, this book was nothing like any other book I've read before, definitely recommend.

[Stella Mozarella · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the kind of story I want to read when I want a book about the twists and turns of someone's life, and about how far fate can take someone from where they started. Truly one of the best biographies I have ever read; and whether Joan embellished a few details or even whole events, it reads in a very genuine and funny way. Reading this book felt like listening to a voice talk in a Cockney accent from beginning to end.

This book deserves to be a bestseller! It definitely stands out as a unique pearl among books with more hackneyed topics that have been written about a thousand times.

The ending was very touching and wrapped the story of Joan's life up in a poignant way. I almost felt bad for stealing this book off a torrenting website when I read how hard her life got at the end. But I'm sure that she of all people would understand.

[Anina G · Rating 4 out of 5]

I initially heard of the ITV show but I wanted go read the book before I watched it, and I wasn't disappointed, I didn't expect Joan to have such a difficult life, yet whatever life threw at her she found a way to get through it, if anything this book is about perseverance, with a little theft. It was interesting to hear how she swallowed all the diamonds,i definitely wouldnt have been able to think of that, that quickly. Overall it was an interesting book definitely worth reading at least once.

[Samantha Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a life! The best and most interesting life story I’ve come across so far. This far surpasses the series! So much more detail and drama. I really did feel for Joan all the way through and think she is a lady to be reckoned with but with a good heart. Thanks for sharing your story! And well done Kim Tayleforth for reading it - perfect voice for this book!

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Someone suggested this book for bookclub and I ended up putting it on hold. I really don't read that many memoirs but starting to appreciate them more and more. Joan is a tough cookie. I love all the Irish and British slang and imagining her playing all her roles. She lived life on edge and wildly survived it.

[Sybaris Lomax · Rating 5 out of 5]

Far exceeds the TV series

[Lisa Brueton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Phenomenal read.

[A Cesspool · Rating 1 out of 5]

“The Godmother”

...LOL more like, “Turd Burglar” ...ya know, bc she digested all the loot.
I suppose Joan as Danny Ocean or another Kray Twin, is way more marketable, rather than the native-legacy of abysmally abusive upbringing she flails at surviving?
Also, She never heard of purging, srsly (what's the point of 'a hasty retreat,' only to keep it all ingested?); Yo gut aint no loot bag, gurl! Albeit, considering she was notorious for burying her booty in the dirt (kinda like a cat with kitty litter), I think she srsly hoped to utilize her lower-intestines like a piggy bank.
Sorry, what was her expertise?

She ripped off employers and vicariously burgled through the legit career criminal she eventually married.
Joan can brag she never informed, but it’s more likely, for such a low-class thief, police believed she would be more useful to hang onto as their own personal ATM (ripping her off her partner whenever they needed a bonus to pay for holiday, anniversary or kids’ orthodontics …which she readily acknowledged!)

I also don’t believe for a second she was “tricked into” surrendering parental rights (for toddler, Debbie). Albeit, the author actually says…

“Let’s just say I felt tricked into it.”

Probably because publishers' editors were only too aware, any real mothers reading this would instinctively know if there were any doubt (rather, forced to sign under duress), them Joan would have more than enough grounds to -- retain representation -- appeal any adoption process. Which she never even considers – bc publishers can’t sell a book about no-tech thief who destructively resists motherhood.

There’s plenty more fakery and deception, i.e. Edit-The-Sad-Parts, throughout – you almost wish another, unbiased, author would have narrated her story. Obviously, that's not something a literary agent can sell (for lucrative book and movie rights).

DNF

[Audrey Trainor · Rating 2 out of 5]

This edition is beautifully read aloud. It played like a movie of jewelry thief in the back of my mind as I listened. There are funny bits and sure, the author is an unbelievably tough gal. For me, the details of child abuse that Joan and her siblings endured were almost too much to bear. Mostly, the story was a repetitive account of robbing because Joan's just into it. While that rings honest, a lot of the author's proclamations about being tough (Never cry.), about being beaten (Never give up.), and about doing the beating (Never walk away.) felt honest but empty and uninspiring. Plus, ripping people off, however its done, just puts bad mojo into the world, which already seems to have reached a new level. Also, robbing so you can be rich and look like those you robbed just feels a little sad.

[Emerald Mone · Rating 4 out of 5]

I watched the movie first, starring Sophie Turner, who still channeled her Sansa Stark in it. I thought her acting and the plot was kind of okay (They really messed up the story, especially with the character of her husband, Boisie, so that it would fit into one season.) until I picked up this book from Kinokuniya bookstore. "Joan" from the movie is nothing compared to "Joan" from this biography. She is amazing. Don't get me wrong, I am not inspired to commit crime or anything. I am just complimenting her mentality and resilience after what she has been through and then continues living like a diamond, tough and bright. And fun fact: Joan in real life sometimes looks more like Sydney Sweeney, I think?

Of course, swallowing diamonds is hard. But swallowing anger and fear she has accumulated throughout her life? I cannot imagine.

[Kelly Rushby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first heard of Joan Hannington when the itv series ‘Joan’ came out. I thoroughly enjoyed the tv series and as we all know the book is always better so when I seen this book in WH Smith’s I just had to have it.

A real page turner and Joan’s life is so far away from what I know of life…cruel beatings throughout her childhood, swallowing diamonds, dealing with millions of pounds running through her fingers, jail time, fighting grown men and the criminal world in general. Joan’s life story is absolutely fascinating and ‘juicy’ and the book contains so much detail. I also love that it has a few pictures in so we can see the real life lady herself.

Joan is fearless and brave and has truly lived life. Her story is so interesting and colourful. A brilliant read.

[Kingfan30 · Rating 3 out of 5]

We watched the ITV show and enjoyed it. So when I passed the charity bookshelf in our local supermarket and spotted this there I put my donation in and picked it up. It sat on my shelf for a few months before picking it up, and overall it’s a fascinating read.it covers more of her early life than the show, so you get more of an insight to how she grew up with an abusive dad. As she gets older it’s more about the relationships she has with her husbands and less about the actual theft of diamonds. In fact there’s more details on how she was able to use other people’s credit cards and cheque books to go shopping. It’s quite a life and she tells it in quite a matter of fact way, but it makes you realise how far security has come to stop things like this happening today.

[Michele Sandhu · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love a bit of true crime but was a bit disappointed with this. The TV series was better! I think the book is let down by the author’s writing ability; vocabulary is limited and there are grammatical errors. Not totally surprising from someone who had an awful childhood and didn’t finish school. Behind the main story is a very sad tale of generational trauma.

[Kathy Francis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well I started and finished this book in one day so it’s true to say I couldn’t put it down! I don’t usually read biographies or autobiographies but this was very interesting. From her awful childhood, to a terrible marriage and a life of crime, she doesn’t make excuses, she just tells you how it was. It was riveting.

[Aleysha van Dijk · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. Joan is very straightforward and not afraid to speak her mind which was very refreshing. I listened to the audio book and liked it very much. This book follows Joan as she tells her story of being a jewel thief, starting with her childhood, her marriages, and how she became one of the most notorious diamond thief's in England.

[Izzy K · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 🌟

a very good autobiography, a very interesting account of defying the odds and i found myself reaching for the book often. i can’t say i was too emotionally attached though, which is what i would say constitutes a higher rating