Opinions: A Decade of Arguments, Criticism, and Minding Other People’s Business

by Roxane Gay

From beloved and bestselling author Roxane Gay, “a strikingly fresh cultural critic” (Washington Post) comes an exhilarating collection of her essays on culture, politics, and everything in between. Since the publication of the groundbreaking Bad Feminist and Hunger, Roxane Gay has continued to tackle big issues embroiling society—state-sponsored violence and mass shootings, women’s rights post-Dobbs, online disinformation, and the limits of empathy—alongside more individual topics: Can I tell my co-worker her perfume makes me sneeze? Is it acceptable to schedule a daily 8 am meeting?

In her role as a New York Times opinion section contributor and the publication’s “Work Friend” columnist, Gay reaches millions of readers with her wise voice and sharp insights. Opinions is a collection of her best nonfiction pieces from the past ten years. Covering a wide range of topics—politics, feminism, the culture wars, civil rights, and much more—with an all-new introduction in which she reflects on the past decade in America, this sharp, thought-provoking anthology will delight Roxane Gay’s devotees and draw new readers to this inimitable talent.

Genres: Nonfiction, Essays, Feminism, Audiobook, Politics, Memoir, LGBT

Audible Audio

First published October 10, 2023

About the author

Roxane Gay’s writing appears in Best American Mystery Stories 2014, Best American Short Stories 2012, Best Sex Writing 2012, A Public Space, McSweeney’s, Tin House, Oxford American, American Short Fiction, Virginia Quarterly Review, and many others. She is a contributing opinion writer for the New York Times. She is the author of the books Ayiti, An Untamed State, the New York Times bestselling Bad Feminist, the nationally bestselling Difficult Women and the New York Times bestselling Hunger. She is also the author of World of Wakanda for Marvel. She has several books forthcoming and is also at work on television and film projects. Her newsletter, The Audacity, where she also hosts The Audacious Book Club, can be found at audacity.substack.com.

Reviews

[Roxane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wrote this book. It’s out on 10/10/23. It’s pretty great.

[leah · Rating 4 out of 5]

a smart and thoughtful collection made up from a range of articles/essays that roxane gay has written in the past - with ruminations on identity/politics, race, gender, pop culture, excerpts from gay’s celebrity interviews, and a few advice columns. like with most essay collections, i read this over a couple months, picking it up here and there.

3.75 (rounded up to 4)

[Traci Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I live Gay’s perspectives and insights. It was fun to revisit the last decade through her eyes. The book (aside from the intro) is all previously published pieces from 2013-2023 most of them very short form. I wish there were new pieces (as I’ve read much of this work already) and more reflection or commentary on the work.

[Álainn · Rating 4 out of 5]

i’d love to publish a book that’s just my opinions cause i have a FEW

[Monica · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is not hyperbole for me to say that Gay is one of the most compelling writers in this era. She has mastered the short form in this collection of almost seventy different opinion columns of what she considers her best stuff in the past decade. I find her to be fantastic at articulating with passion and depth but in columns that are only a few pages long. Truly masterful. I very much enjoyed this book. Surprisingly (or not) I don't find myself always agreeing with Gay but I do find that she can challenge my way thinking. I'm not the pop culture fan that she is so several of her columns did not appeal to me at first. For example she has an interview with Madona in her home and the column ostensibly is about wine selection for a charity event. But Gay breaks it down to an assessment of how society/pop culture views Madona in particular and women in general in the public eye. The column finishes pointing out that Madona has great taste in wine superficially. But real lesson is that there much more to this person than public persona allows her to demonstrate. And she did in 3 -4 pages. There is a whole section on popular culture that was kind of meh (likely generational though Gay is in the over 50 clubhouse) for me but I could not skip because Gay is, in her writing, making salient points on many other things in those same columns.

My wheelhouse is social justice and civil rights. This is Gay's wheelhouse as well. Though I think she'd rather be writing about popular culture, she seems to understand that her voice is required for much more important things in this era. Gay is a sexual assault survivor and is very strident, loud and coherent about women's issues, immigration, race, men's issues, police killings, white supremacy, economics etc. She explains what has her thinking about the subjects (usually a current event) and then explains why she thinks the way she does. For example some commentary about the statues of Confederate generals and the constant argument about erasure of history, Gay said this:

"all too often, people revere monuments not because they want a reminder to avoid repeating historical wrongs but because they want to preserve toxic ideologies"

While the quotes may seem pertinent to current events, they were written back in 2017. We (the US) were unchanged by the first Trump presidency. We are still trafficking in the same bile of white supremacy, and it is hammered home that it is deeply systemic. She states the obvious. A reconfiguration of MLK Jr when she says:

"One of the most important things white people, in particular, can do, is not remain silent about racism."

Trust me Gay is imminently quotable. I could have highlighted most of the book. We need much more Roxanne Gay and writers with similar talent out there explaining why things sound one way but in fact may mean something else, without talking down to her readers. I don't know what the future holds for her, but I suspect she will come to be seen as an historian. She certainly does capture the thoughts and feelings of the moment. In my view, she's a national treasure.

4+ Stars

Listened to the audiobook and as expected, Gay is the best person to narrate her book. It's like you and her are in a conversation. Inflections were needed. Never overdone. She's awesome!

[CJ Alberts]

This was pretty bad lol? Literally all repurposed “essays” that were just opinion columns from the NYT with some hella centrist takes. Idk…

[Trin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Roxane Gay is an excellent writer and an expert opinion-haver. Unfortunately, I do not think this collection was well-selected. A full third to half the pieces are editorials on current events, and in this particular moment (January 2024) I feel like I am at the worst possible distance to appreciate hot takes on the events of 2016-2022ish. I remember them; I was just there! I think this section will have historical significance, so I am glad the pieces have been collected, but I can't say I enjoyed (re)reading them.

My favorite section was Gay's literary and film criticism; I may not always agree with her, but her analysis in these areas is always fascinating and fresh. But this was unfortunately followed far too soon by an interminable section of celebrity profiles that all read as fairly starfuckery and, frankly, insignificant. (Bland piece on Charlie Hunnam why -- except to make clear that you have interviewed Charlie Hunnam?) Finally there are surprisingly few excerpts from Gay's advice column -- so few as to feel unfortunately like an afterthought.

I think Gay is, and will long-term prove to be, an important writer, but I don't think this was the right assemblage of pieces for the present moment.

[Jim · Rating 2 out of 5]

Because Roxane Gay insists she is just another person without any actual qualifications to be listened to, I will take her at her word. I agree with some of what she has to say when she writes about social issues (politics, racism, capitalism, psychology), but not nearly as much as many readers, who tend to accept her writings as gospel regardless of the basis for her arguments. As to the rest of this book - commentary on "famous people", TV shows, movies, and books - I couldn't care less. I'll explain. I don't know Roxane Gay, and she doesn't know me either. She makes no claims to being an expert on these topics. I am almost entirely uninterested in the subjects of these essays. So why would all these truths add up to me considering her opinion one that matters to me? Too often people that are admired - and Roxane Gay knows she has a "following", so to speak - put forth their opinions as if they matter more than others because of "who they are", or, conversely, listeners take those opinions as truths, since so-and-so said it. Gay even admits this in her Intro, which is partly why I find it laughable, and even slightly hypocritical, that she not only writes such a book, but thinks it therefore must matter because she wrote it. Huh. Roxane Gay has things to say. I know plenty of people with quite similar things to say too, maybe they should write them down and publish them? Fact of it is that all this "things to say" isn't changing anything, is it? And Roxane Gay saying it doesn't make it more meaningful or true or necessary to me.

We are so divided and hateful in the USofA (and everywhere else...) that almost exclusively people are just "preaching to the(ir) choir" with their statements, however these statements are presented (books, films, social media, etc.). Their is little, if any, dialogue between "warring parties", which just fans the flames of hatred and violence. #45's followers aren't reading Roxane Gay, and while her fans can praise her, the sound never reaches those it should. This isn't Gay's fault, just the truth.

[Heidi · Rating 3 out of 5]

I usually adore Roxane Gay’s essay collections and narrative nonfiction. Bad Feminist and Hunger are two of my all-time favorite nonfiction books. However, I struggled with this collection for a few reasons.

First, it feels like a lot of essays in this collection represent conversations that were happening a few years ago, but the discussion has moved on from that point. For example, there were a lot of essays about the 2016 and 2020 election cycles which, while relevant, feel locked in a perspective that is slightly dated now that we’re already turning toward the 2024 election cycle. Unfortunately, due to the frenetic nature of our news cycle, pieces that were published in The New York Times in 2020 may not be as timely. This is especially true in relationship to politics, as Biden has increasingly come under well-needed scrutiny for his actions in Palestine and more and more people are beginning to realize that the “pick the lesser of two evils” and “just vote” mentality is not sufficient to address the many pressing issues of our time.

Second, I felt like the analysis in these collections was only surface-level. I think that’s because many of these articles were published in newspapers with a specific word count. I much prefer the longer essays in other collections, like Bad Feminist, where Roxane Gay really delved into thoughtful analysis. It felt like I was barely getting into an essay before it ended and I was left wanting more.

Third, the final sections about TV and pop icons (particularly musicians) lost me because I just wasn’t that interested. I found her cultural criticism and social justice essays far more riveting, but that’s mostly because I personally don’t follow much TV or music. That’s definitely a me thing, and you might really enjoy those essays.

I will read more from Roxane Gay in the future—of course!—because she’s an excellent writer, but I hope to see her return to form in another essay collection where the pieces have room to breathe and the content is a bit more timely.

[roosmarijn]

I need this like yesterday

[Allison Grimsted · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought this book of essays wasn’t well curated. I enjoyed many of the essays, but I wasn’t thrilled to read 5 essays in a row about books or movies I hadn’t consumed

[Jennifer Mangler · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoy Roxane Gay's writing. It's entertaining and thought-provoking. There were several essays I just wasn't interested in but, overall, I am satisfied with this collection.

[Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoyable collection of essays and articles covering a whole range of topics. I thought the variety here was great, and most of the articles are quick reads, which was great. I very much enjoy Gay's writing as always. Wasn't super interested in the celeb interviews or review of books/movies, but the rest I enjoyed.

[Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Roxane Gay can do no wrong. I will always adore her writing. What a privilege it is to simply read her opinions on a range of things. Some incredibly impactful lines throughout, some in the most unsuspecting essays.

[Jules · Rating 5 out of 5]

Roxane Gay for president is the entirety of my political philosophy.

Also shout out to the final essay on love. Gutted again.

[halle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have always read pieces or chapters of Roxane Gay’s work in sociology classes, and I loved them. I saw many people check her books out at the library I work in. I saw opinions at my local library, and it just felt right for me to check it out. Liking this was an understatement. I am always both enthralled and recharged when reading anything by Roxane. If you’re interested in essays, I strongly recommend this.

My favorite pieces from this book include:
* The Seduction of Safety, on Campus and Beyond
* Why People Are So Awful Online
* How to Build a Monument
* You’re Disillusioned. That’s fine. Vote Anyways.
* Warning Signs (The Sacrifice by Joyce Carol Oates)
* Dear Men: It’s You Too
* Ask Roxane: I’m Outraged but Failing at Activism. Why?
* Ask Roxane: Where the Hell Is the Love of My Life?

Portions that really stuck out to me:

‘As a writer, I believe the First Amendment is sacred. The freedom of speech, however, does not guarantee freedom from consequence. You can speak your mind, but you can also be shunned. You can be criticized You can be ignored or ridiculed. You can lose your job. The freedom of speech does not exist in a vacuum.
Many of the people who advocate for freedom of speech with the most bluster are willing to waste this powerful right on hate speech. But the beauty of the freedom of speech is that it protects us from subjectivity.
We protect someone's right to shout hateful slurs the same way we protect someone's right to, say, criticize the government or discuss her religious beliefs.’
(The Seduction of Safety, on Campus and Beyond)

‘After a while, the lines blur, and it's not at all clear what friend or foe look like, or how we as humans should interact in this place. After being on the receiving end of enough aggression, everything starts to feel like an attack. Your skin thins until you have no defenses left. It becomes harder and harder to distinguish good-faith criticism from pettiness or cruelty. It becomes harder to disinvest from pointless arguments that have nothing at all to do with you. An experience that was once charming and fun becomes stressful and largely unpleasant. I don't think I'm alone in feeling this way. We have all become hammers in search of nails.

One person makes a statement. Others take issue with some aspect of that statement. Or they make note of every circumstance the original statement did not account for. Or they misrepresent the original statement and extrapolate it to a broader issue in which they are deeply invested. Or they take a singular instance of something and conflate it with a massive cultural trend. Or they bring up something ridiculous that someone said more than a decade ago as confirmation of... who knows?’
(Why People Are So Awful Online)

‘Yes, you can read all of the books about race and racism that are suddenly in fashion. You can donate money to nonprofits dedicated to community bail, combatting racism, and protecting civil rights. You can and should attend protests and bear witness to how aggressively, militaristi-cally, and violently police departments across the country are dedicated to protecting the status quo. You can volunteer your time and expertise to organizations working to enfranchise voters, abolish police and pris-ons, and the like. You can support political candidates at the local, state, and federal levels and canvas and vote in every election. But really, these are table stakes, the kind of community-oriented work we should all be doing, because we share this world with a great many others.’
(How to Build a Monument)

‘In one perceptive scene, Anis Schutt is pulled over by a police cruiser, and Oates demonstrates great insight into the reality of driving while black. "There were two choices," she writes: "silent, or deferential. Silent might be mistaken by the cops for sullen, dangerous. Deferential might be mistaken for mockery."’
(Warning Signs (The Sacrifice by Joyce Carol Oates))

‘Loving someone is recognizing the role they play or have played in your life and honoring that presence. Sometimes, love feels like an obligation but it is one you are willing to fulfill. Sometimes it takes hard work but you are willing to put in that work. Love is the constant you hold on to when you don't particularly like the one you love. Love is recognizing the ways in which, for better and worse, someone has contributed to your life.’

‘It is butterflies in your stomach when you think about your person, when you see them, when you hold them. It's the electricity when your skin meets.
It's smiling at your person with wide eyes and an open heart and seeing them smile back at you in the same way. It's wanting to hold someone's hand, even when your hand is hot, a little sweaty. It's lust and the heat of wanting, wanting, wanting. It's seeing who someone truly is, the best and most terrible parts of them, and choosing not to look away from everything you see, actively embracing everything you see. It's the willingness to have difficult but honest conversa-tions. It's compromising on the structure of your relationship. It's about patience and being flexible and getting irritated or furious with a person but still holding on. It's wanting to be the best version of yourself for your person but also for yourself, especially for yourself. It's the pride you feel in their accomplishments and being as happy for their successes as you are for your own, if not more.
It's their hurts becoming your hurts. It's feeling their absence when you are apart and the rush of joy when that absence ends. It's liking someone as much as you love them, being interested in who they are, marveling at the ways they are interested in you. It's a gut in-stinct. You just feel it. You know it in your bones. It isn't perfect, not at all. It doesn't need to be. It is, simply, what fills you up.’
(Ask Roxane: Where The Hell Is the Love of My Life?)

[Parker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Incredibly pleased to have wrapped up my reading year with this collection of essays/articles from Roxane Gay. Her wit, honesty, and empathy are on full display. My favorite section is “Minding Other People’s Business,” since Gay is such a respectful, yet introspective interviewer.

And that marks the end of my 2024 books! My top five from this year were:
- James by Percival Everett
- The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly
- Here After by Amy Lin
- Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin
- Anxious People by Frederick Backman

Honorable mentions to The Goblin Market and Other Poems by Christina Rossetti, and the Indigenous Pacific Islander Eco-Literatures collection.

[Jungian.Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been reading this collection since last year and I find myself reading the perfect essay at the perfect time.

Opinions is a collection of published articles, interviews and Q&As by Roxanne Gay, it contains a decade of arguments and criticism of the world, of our interactions in an economy that seems antithetical to our survival. Roxanne explores topics from racial hyperinvisibility to deluded emotional consumerism.

"Demands for solidarity can quickly turn into demand for groupthink, making it difficult to express nuance. It puts the terms of our understanding of the situation in black-and-white - you are either with us or against us- instead of allowing people to mourn and be angry while also being sympathetic to complexities that are being overlooked."

"Assimilation cannot be the price we must pay for freedom."

"Until the Democrats stop lounging in the middle of the political aisle-where nobody one is coming to meet them-nothing will change”

"When politicians talk about civility and public discourse, what they re really saying is that would prefer for people to remain silent in the face of injustice. They want marginalised people to accept that the conditions of oppression are unalterable facts of life. They want to luxuriate in the power they hold, where they never have to compromise, never have to confront their consciences or lack thereof, never have to face the consequences of their inaction."

Which is why I say that these politicians should never be allowed a moment of peace in public. At a restaurant, frustrate them; whilst they’re giving a speech, interrupt them; make it impossible for them to live life just as they make it impossible for others.

[blake · Rating 4 out of 5]

Roxane Gay’s writing in this book is god-tier cultural criticism.

———————————————————————————

"Lately, I've been thinking that what drives so much of the anger and antagonism online is our helplessness offline. Online we want to be good, to do good, but despite these lofty moral aspirations, there is little generosity or patience, let alone human kindness. There is a desperate yearning for moral safety. There is a desperate hope that if we all become perfect enough, and demand the same perfection from others, there will be no more harm or suffering. It is infuriating, it is also entirely understandable."

"The greatest of American disgraces is knowing that no amount of rage, or protest, or devastation, or loss will change anything about this country's relationship to guns or life. Nothing will change about a craven political system where policy is sold to the highest bidder. Language is inadequate for expressing this lack of civility"

"They will say that once more, Black women saved America from itself which, of course, we did even though some things don't deserve salvation."

"Instead, this is a defense of thin skin. It is a defense of boundaries and being human and enforcing one's limits. It is a repudiation of the incessant valorizing of taking a joke, having a sense of humor. It is a rejection of the expectation that we laugh off everything people want to say and do to us. I think a lot about how we are constantly asked to make our skin ever thicker. Toughen yourself, we're told, whoever we are, whatever we've been through or are going through. Stop being so brittle and sensitive. Lighten up... Who is served by all this thick skin? Those who want to behave with impunity. If the targets of derision only had thicker skin, their aggressors could say or do as they please. If we all had the thickest of skins, no one would have to take responsibility for cruelties, big or small. It's an alluring idea to some, I suppose."

"We should think about how to nurture who we are beyond what we do. The greatest shame would be to reach the end of our lives and have the epitaph read 'they worked really hard.'"

[Marie Mergaerts · Rating 1 out of 5]

Kutboek, moest voor school. Dit is de review:

The book 'Opinions' by Roxane Gay wasn't an enjoyable read for me. Although I found some topics interesting, it was a slog to get through.
When I first started reading the book, I was excited to explore a new genre. However, I was let down pretty fast. In my opinion, the pieces weren't explained in-depth but only on a surface level. Because of this, it seemed like every essay was just another bad take on the world, where most people, especially the white man, are portrayed as racists and sexists.
Secondly, many of these essays took place a few years ago and aren't as relevant in today's society. For instance, all the essays about the 2016 and 2020 election cycles. While the core topics remain important, I can't help but feel like the essays are slightly dated.
Thirdly, there is also a section about TV and pop icons. Personally, I couldn't care less about this. I found the essays about racism, equality, and even the 'dated' political essays far more interesting.
Lastly, I do want to say that I think it's important to discuss the topics in the book as they form the basis of our society. So, while I didn't enjoy reading it due to the surface-level information, dated essays, and some topics I just don't care about, the core topics are still important.

[Sacha · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars

I am here for Roxane Gay’s opinions on everything at all times. Though I had read much of this content in its original modes of publication, hearing it again in the author’s voice made for a compelling listen. Readers/listeners will be reminded that times have been tough, but there’s also enough levity here (the celeb and advice sections) to move us from despair to intrigue. Hey. We live in a world with Janelle Monae, so it’s not all bad.

Thoroughly enjoyable, as expected!

[Jon Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Roxane Gay has become one of my favorite commentators, overnight. Her opinions are hard-won, wrought from significant trials well beyond what I have experienced or can imagine. She writes so clearly, bringing order and purpose into our chaotic world.

And did I mention that’s she’s really funny? Read this collection, if only to take part in the warm embrace of her words.

[Anna L · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've come to realize i don't like to review non-fiction. Ms. Gay is an excellent writer, and after all, i wouldn't be reading all of her books if i didn't like what she has to say. But reviewing what amounts to mirrors of my own opinions about the world? That feels both narcissistic and futile. Good read indeed.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 I agree with all of Roxane Gay's opinions, so of course I loved this collection! Her mind is always open and she isn't afraid to hold many truths at once, which is my favorite thing about her writing and analysis. Because this spans the last decade, we do get a lot of essays around Trump/Hillary and later COVID. This will be great for readers in the future some years, but was tiresome in 2023. So, that brought the experience down a bit for me, with the pieces still being great in a vacuum. My favorite were the pop culture pieces, as well as the ones where she highlights more random things like art collection or father's day gifts. So many favorites. I think this book would make an excellent holiday gift and I recommend to everyone!

[archibald (audrey) zebedee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gay is a great writer and communicator, able to make her point in very few words. Some insightful takes in here too: freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequence

[Maggie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love reading from authors who are intelligent & thoughtful & authentic

[Janine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Roxane Gay is one of the smartest, most incisive writers of our generation. I loved that she read her own work because her voice is remarkable.

[Shannon Hall · Rating 4 out of 5]

Roxane Gay is a genius and I wish she would just tell me what to think about everything. ;) The only thing that keeps this from 5 stars for me is that I wish there was some present-day commentary on some of the essays in this collection, especially the older ones. I've read many of these pieces before but there were also many that were new to me. Reading anything Gay writes always ignites a renewed passion in me to be a more active activist, and to do more writing.

[Caitlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've always enjoyed Dr. Gay's writing, and this was a nice way to see her grow over time. This is a nice array of her work, covering the Fast and Furious franchise to social justice. I think it would have been kind of cool to have Roxane's reflections at the end of every essay or section for a more granular contemporary perspective, but I suppose the intro covered that pretty well. I was pleasantly surprised by some of the celebrity profiles, I didn't realize how many she'd done and the scope of them (Madonna! Janelle Monáe! Sarah Paulson!). I also loved that it ended with an advice piece about finding love, knowing that Gay married Debbie Millman a few years later (they absolutely shine together, it's so sweet).

[Sean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading Gay’s essays on racial and pop culture events was a good reflection on how little I discuss such events with others. I glossed over the essays about other people as I wanted to hear more about Gay and not others. You don’t have to read the book in order, in fact you should start with the last few essays!