How to Help Your Child Clean Up Their Mental Mess: A Guide to Building Resilience and Managing Mental Health

by Caroline Leaf

Increasingly, children ages 3-10 are struggling with anxiety, depression, and mental health challenges. These can be brought on by many factors—stress at home, upheavals in society, breaks in routine, isolation from friends, bullying or social pressure—and if left unaddressed, they follow kids into their teens and adulthood, causing mental, emotional, and relational problems that will steal their peace and joy.
But there is hope. Bestselling author Dr. Caroline Leaf helps you teach your kids how to

· recognize negative feelings and respond in a healthy way

· navigate a world that can feel scary and overwhelming

· manage uncomfortable or challenging situations

· replace toxic thoughts with brain-building practices that produce better outcomes

· develop resilience and emotional strength

Based on up-to-date research, clearly illustrated with case studies, and practically applied to the problems kids are facing today, How to Help Your Child Clean Up Their Mental Mess is what parents, caretakers, teachers, and counselors have been waiting for. Dr. Leaf shares a clear and effective five-step plan to teach your child how to manage their mind so they can live a life with greater resilience, health, and happiness.

PLEASE When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Self Help, Childrens

Audible Audio

Published August 8, 2023

About the author

Dr. Caroline Leaf is a cognitive neuroscientist with a PhD in Communication Pathology specializing in Neuropsychology. Since the early 1980‘s she has studied and researched the Mind-Brain connection. During her years in clinical practice as a Communication Pathologist she developed tools and processes that help people develop and change their thinking and subsequent behavior. Her scientific Science of Thought techniques have transformed the lives of patients with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), learning disabilities, emotional traumas and released the potential of thousands of young students and adults.

She has presented her unique Switch On Your Brain with the 5-Step Learning Process® and the Metacognitive-Map™ learning tool to thousands of students worldwide.

She developed the Geodesic Learning™ theory (how we think and process information) that has been conservatively shown to increase thinking, behavioral and academic performance by 35-75%. This revolutionary theory explains the Science of Thought, stating how thoughts form, how we process information and the power of the non-conscious mind and the relationship between the non-conscious and conscious. It explains that everything you do is first a physical thought in the physical brain. You think, and then you do, which cycles back to the original thought, changing it, and the thoughts connected to it, in a dynamic interrelationship. Therefore if your thinking is toxic, then your communication and behavior are toxic, and vice versa.

She has published numerous articles in academic journals and consumer magazines and has been widely interviewed in newspapers, on radio shows, and on television shows about her research and theories.

She has her own weekly TV show called "Switch On Your Brain" airing on TBN.

She frequently lectures to both Christian and secular audiences worldwide, linking scientific principles of the brain to spiritual, intellectual and emotional issues in simple and practical ways. She speaks on diverse topics relating to optimal thinking, and hence, brain performance, including:

1. Thinking and learning

2. Controlling your thought life

3. Managing stress

4. Eradicating toxic thoughts

5. Overcoming mental, emotional, and spiritual strongholds

6. Understanding male and female brain differences

7. Applying wisdom

8. Identifying your unique gifts

DR. CAROLINE LEAF’S DEGREES

University of Cape Town South Africa Degree of Bachelor of Science (Logopaedics) - December 1985

University of Pretoria South Africa Masters in Communication Pathology with distinction/cum laude - June 1990

University of Pretoria South Africa Doctor Philosophiae with specialization in Communication Pathology With distinction/cum laude and academic honors - May 1997

Reviews

[Cheryl]

Recommended for, actually, all ages, and most levels of dysfunction (below clinical, I'm sure).

I did not, when I checked it out, realize that it's a companion to a book for adults. I think I prefer this version, it's straightforward and accessible, but still concrete and scientific.* Notes aplenty. No index, very unfortunate, for example the term "MPA Multiple Perspective Advantage" caught my eye but I can't find it discussed.**

To see if it's for your family, look at p. 43-49. If you feel like you already use & respect techniques like Breathe, Focus, Write it Out (her words are slightly different) but still want more help, you'd probably like this book. I don't have a child, and I only need to remember the advice, not go through a whole program, when I myself feel fretful.

*I did skim lightly so I'm not sure how solid the science is, but it does look good.

** Google says "The Multiple Perspective Advantage (MPA) is the deliberate process of standing outside yourself, observing your thoughts, words, and actions, and changing them, explains Dr. Leaf. May 24, 2023" This actually sounds wonderful. It's like the suggestion that we think about a problem facing us as if it's facing a friend who is asking us for advice, as it's easier to find clarity from an outside perspective.

December 2023

[Kayti · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nothing super groundbreaking. A lot of the “practical” suggestions sound great but also not so practical for having more than one kid in the house.

[Cynthia Wall, LCSW · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m a therapist who works NOT with children but with the caring adults. Teachers and parents and of course grands. The message this book Registers most positively is that children are their own people, and they have reasons for all of their behaviors just as we adults do. Carolyn has worked hard to develop a child friendly cartoon, called “brain-ee” as a hoped for companion to explain quite complicated neuropsychology that Caroline leaf is so famous for unpacking for us. I read another of her books in which describing how the brain works to either hang onto or release, traumatic and negative thinking, was easier to digest. I will loan this book to some clients who work, and live with children from 3 to 10 years old, which is the audience for the cartoon. I’ll see how they respond. That all being said, I think it is really important that this very tender and formative age is being addressed by someone who clearly cares and has a lot to say. I’d like to see her actually doing the work of describing the mental processes that she delineates with children.

[Becky Reed · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this as an ARC from net galley. So thank you to them and publisher for giving me an opportunity to review in exchange.

I thought this book was good. It contained a lot of information and I think it will be a hit with other parents and other caregivers. With the new age of parenting coming up and tapping into gentle parenting and asking our children how they feel, I think this book is a valuable tool in how to navigate it.

I thought it would be clearer laid out wise as I found it a bit too wordy but maybe the actual book is different compared to the Kindle version.

All in all a good book and can't wait to put some of it into practice.

[ArynTheLibraryan · Rating 4 out of 5]

A practical and well explained guide to helping kids work through hard and messy stuff. I will probably get a hard copy, as the ebook is a bit challenging to use to flip back and forth and find things.
I was disappointed, because after having read Switch On Your Brain by the same author, I was expecting more comparable Christian /faith connections and simple ways to explain the way this science confirms the Bible. I did not find that.

I received a copy of the book from @netgalley and chose to review it here. All thoughts are my own.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a trauma therapist and this is a great tool for intentional parenting.

Bonnie Jo Daniels, MS., LMHC
@Speaklife.Community,LLC

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

In How to Help Your Child Clean Up Their Mental Mess, Dr. Caroline Leaf has written a brand new book to help parents in guiding their children in their thoughts. She begins the book by explaining how our children are facing a mental health crisis. We are witnessing an increase in depression, suicide, anxiety, and much more. Bullying is a new thing our children are having to encounter and now it occurs even online. In the book, she teaches readers how to help our children in mind management and tools that will help them. She explained for example how anxiety is from an actual thought pattern and the more they ponder on it and think about it the worst side affects it can have. They could experience physical symptoms. She explained how they could be fearful about going to school cause of a bad experience and it all occurs from a root in the brain. She compares the mind to a tree and included helpful illustrations to assist readers in understanding the mind. She explored how the mind works and what the neurocyle is. It is divided up into 5 steps and it will guide readers into helping their child to reflect and actively change their thoughts. She encouraged readers to spend 7-15 minutes a day for 63 days to establish new habits and repair past traumas. She enclosed a helpful Brain-ee cartoon character and helps children to understand the material in every day terms.



I would recommend this life changing book to every parent and this book will teach parents how to help their children to change their thoughts and to clean up their mental health. This book is very impactful and I love the way in Dr. Caroline Leaf breaks down neuroplasticity and the brain into terms that every day people can understand. This book is even more gears to making it simpler for children to grasp their thought progress and emotions. I liked how she covered the different age groups and help to our children at every stage of their lives. I immensely liked how she walked readers through key examples and illustrations to help children through the neurocyle process. This will help us to pay attention to their emotions and behaviors. She carefully walked through questions to ask to reflect on to actively reach towards a child’s particular issue. I liked how she did a beneficial table to use a tool to go even deeper into the steps to help our children. I loved how she also included personal stories from parents to walk parents through the steps in every day examples. I liked how she discussed boundaries and how critical it is for parents to explain the why behind it. There are tons of helpful information for parents to use and this book is meant to be reread again and again.

[Felix Harper · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this book was really aware of going in depth about the different ways to help support a child in a way that protects and promotes their mental wellbeing. While it was quite wordy (I loved the addition of medical information and studies but the general public may have a harder time understanding these studies) and could have been more to the point in some spots, it still is a good base for working with children, whether your own or in a community setting, while also supporting their mental wellbeing as children process the world differently as their brains are not fully developed. This is a great book that I plan to utilize in my work as a community health educator with an emphasis on child education and protection.

[Zenobia Cofer · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were certain aspects of this book which could be helpful for individuals trying to assist their child/children through behavioral issues. Overall, I found the book tedious and overly optimistic on the surety of the 5 step method Leaf is pushing to get 3-10 year olds engaged in their mental health. The author also introduces a vignette/patient story regarding how the method worked for an individual who experienced severe trauma. I didn't find the parental accounts realistic, it seemed like the author wrote it herself from different viewpoints.

[Krista Mc]

I thought it was pretty good and pretty understandable. My first time through was with the audio, and I would like to go back to the print version and make notes. The audio version kept referencing a pdf, which I'm not sure exists yet?? I haven't been able to locate it. EDITED: The PDF comes with the purchase of the audiobook. Since I was listening to a borrowed copy, I couldn't access the PDF. I think the print version takes care of that.

[Elaine · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF. This is way too complex to attempt without professional help, and I have a lot of experience helping my kids with their mental health. There is an app, but the reviews say it is buggy, lags, and crash-prone. Not something I want to deal with. I got far enough in to hit the author's explanations of neuroscience, which were too verbose and jargon-heavy to be easily readable. Also, I found the cartoon "Brain-ee" kind of creepy.

[SeaShore · Rating 3 out of 5]

Takeaways as described in the book's summary:

*recognize negative feelings and respond in a healthy way
*navigate a world that can feel scary and overwhelming
*manage uncomfortable or challenging situations
*replace toxic thoughts with brain-building practices that produce better outcomes
*develop resilience and emotional strength

[Cierra · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you're familiar with CBT and DBT, Leaf's Neurocycling is a step-by-step rehashing of some of the principles from those therapies, but with an emphasis on honing in on a specific thought for a certain amount of time. Parts of the book seemed a little too either-or. It has a heavy emphasis on life experiences, not genetic propensities, attributing to neuroticism.

[Scott County Library System · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another scientifically based book about how children can reign in unhealthy emotions and thoughts to improve quality of life. This tome includes step-by-step ideas for emotional regulation, and does include a chapter on how trauma impacts children’s emotions.

[Jennifer Buczynski · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting but I wish there were more practical examples of things like “reach” and how to change the thought trees. Sometimes I just felt confused like I was maybe making it more complicated somehow than it is.

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very dense but I can see where the information is very useful as well and I think that this is a great book to teach you to formally go through the Neurocycle with kids or just learn ways to help them process their own thoughts and feelings and help them with their emotional awareness.

[Angelica Kennedy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was very informative, well organized, and a little more medical than I was expecting. I did find the information interesting but it was a little above me.

[Sonal Apte · Rating 4 out of 5]

Informative and educational. Apparently it takes 63 days to make a habit stick, not 21. Good advice on how to help children process feelings and emotions.

[Ashley McNeese]

Some good and helpful information. On the other hand, there’s an entire chapter that essentially asserts that ADHD isn’t a real thing. I wish that were true. 🙄

[Darinda · Rating 3 out of 5]

For parents of children between 3-10 years old. Straightforward and interesting.

[Aga · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received ARC from NetGalley for my honest opinion. Below comment is my own opinion which was not influenced by publisher.

This is very interesting read about neuroplasticity and neurocycle. Dr. Leaf is explaining that it take 63 days to change a habit (not 21 days) and sometimes it take few cycles of 63 days to get it. There is good information on how to talk to children and how to help them deal with different situations using easy language with good examples for kids (thought trees).
One criticism was a story about a boy which read like an infomercial for Neurocycle App. After that story it was pretty difficult to focus on science for a while.

In general a good book.

[Katie Townsend · Rating 5 out of 5]

As parents we are our child primary advocate we are with them the most we wake up with them when they're little and we also nurture and care for them this book will give you resources to help your child through these big emotions and challenges that life bring changes especially even nightmares this book by Caroline leaf has immensely helped me and my husband in providing a better mental space for our children we loved switch on your brain this is a wonderful companion book for parents. There's a lot of information in this book so I recommend reading it slowly.

[Jordan · Rating 3 out of 5]

"How to Help Your Child Clean Up Their Mental Mess" is a complete guide for parents on what might be going through your child's mind and how best to respond.

Using Dr Leaf's prompts and systems to facilitate conversations about mental health and reroute their responses the reader can both get ahead of and respond to a child's mental health issues.

While interesting the book is wholly reliant on implementing the system given. I was hoping for more general information, rather than a workbook but parents with children of all ages would find this to be an informative read.

[Kristen Gebhart · Rating 3 out of 5]

First half was real difficult to get through but glad I stuck it out. 2nd half was much better. It has some good talking points for children ages 3-10tk have them problem solve difficult emotions.