Single and Sexually Whole: Soulfully Celebrating the Dance of the Sexes

by Doug Rosenau

Who are you as a sexual person? What does sex mean to you?We all have a story that shapes our view of sexuality. But it is a story significantly authored by our human experiences.In his work published posthumously, Dr. Doug Rosenau’s final words were compassionately written and dedicated to the individual living in singleness. Drawing on fifty-thousand hours of expert counseling and his individual pursuit of a theology of sexuality, Rosenau doesn’t shy away from addressing hard questions.

“How far is too far?”“What is the true cost of viewing pornography?”“Is it okay to be friends with benefits?”“Is masturbation okay?”Perhaps the most provocative question of all uncovered within these pages is

Why would God give us sexual desire that carries such destructive potential?”Dr. Rosenau’s answers may surprise you. What if God Himself intends to help you understand and embrace your own individual sexual identity to discover a deep and positive intimacy we seek?Through his extensive knowledge in guiding others on their sexual journey, Dr. Rosenau shares a biblical road map for purposeful sexual wholeness. In what he describes as the most profound dimension of human soulfulness, uncover the redemptive picture where women and men, both single and married, can know how to seek a wholeness that is integral for both the individual and community to thrive.

356 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 20, 2023

Reviews

[Benjamin Mallinak]

After hearing Dr. Doug Rosenau speak on single sexuality during a “Java with Juli” podcast entitled “Single & Sexually Whole” where he mentioned he was working on a book with that title, I knew I wanted to hear more from this man. Sadly, he passed away in 2022, but he left behind a final draft of this book, which was finally published in October, 2023 and, as the preface puts it, “contains Doug’s unedited words.” Of this there can be no doubt, for within the book are many textual errors that would ordinarily have been fixed in the editorial process — but thankfully I did not find these errors to impact the meaning of Dr. Doug’s words.

Within these pages, Dr. Doug provides a wealth of wisdom and perspective, offering challenging questions with great compassion, delving into the Scriptures to flesh out what God’s purpose and design for our sexuality is rather than what we tend to make it about. Prior to reading this book, being single and sexually whole felt like it should be possible but seemed impossible. For years I have felt that something was missing in my understanding of sexuality (and in the ways sexuality has been spoken of and taught on in the church), and no sermon, book, or other piece of media has ever helped me to understand sexuality more holistically or to reframe things in ways that I can already feel are impacting my heart and mind to effect growth in this area.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who desires to understand God’s purpose for sexuality, whether single, dating, or married, because as Dr. Doug shows, a proper understanding of 3-D sexuality is needed regardless of relationship status.

With that said, why is my rating only 4 stars? Well, for a couple reasons.

There are many things that Dr. Doug says which are challenging perspectives, and while I believe the vast majority of them are good challenges, there are a few that make me uncomfortable and seem to take certain erotic behaviors perhaps too casually. To his credit, he does say that he doesn’t want to draw lines where the Bible does not, but to me wisdom would include setting some more conservative boundaries than he may emphasize.

Additionally, throughout the book he frequently quotes Bible verses with “(sexually)” added parenthetically to emphasize his point. I am familiar with many authors italicizing certain words in a verse to provide emphasis that supports their point, but having parenthetical insertions into Scripture just doesn’t sit well with me. I am sure verses in Scripture on wisdom (which he often references) can be applied in some way to sexuality, but to take the step of actually adding words within a verse seems wrong. Granted, he does always acknowledge the parenthetical insertions, putting (parentheses added) or (“sexual” added) after the Scripture address, so he certainly isn’t trying to mislead. He also includes some “Doug paraphrases” of verses and some uses of the MSG translation, which I find hard to appreciate since it adds another translation layer that makes insight into a verse more difficult.

I hope these critiques are helpful and do not keep you from reading the book. I just wanted to give my completely honest thoughts about a book that I value and appreciate, while recognizing that it is probably not perfect. I thank God for Doug and for the work that He enabled Doug to do during his time on Earth.

[Emily Sorenson]

Was this helpful? Yes. Was it 100% sound theology? No. I’d have a hard time recommending this due to the way he uses the Bible, but I also recognize that he had some really important things to say! This is a hard topic to speak on and speak about, and I have hope that more, theologically sound books come from it. I appreciated the sentiment that just saying “don’t” to singles (chronically single or not) is not enough to get them to live pure lives. It’s an inside out transformation and understanding of how God intended us to live our daily lives.

[Dillon Reinkensmeyer]

I thought that this was a good book, not as good as his Celebration of Sex though. I believe that if a single person picked up this book, they would absolutely benefit. Overall this is a great resource that I will refer back to

[Shannon Williame]

This is worth a read for the thought provoking alone