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Wild Ground
Neef and Danny. Danny and Neef. They were inseparable for all those years. Outsiders in their rural Yorkshire town, they clung to an imagined future achieved through Neef's talent for storytelling and Danny's for gardening. But as they grew older, their dreams strained against the same forces that held their families substance abuse, poverty, racism. They began to lose sight of their future and each other.
Now, Neef works in a café in London and calls herself Jennifer. Jennifer is sober and determined to stay anonymous, until Danny's father shows up looking for his missing son. As the memories she once fled resurface, Neef is forced to face the decisions she's made and the person she's become. Heartbreaking and hopeful, Wild Ground is an achingly tender novel of first love and second chances.
Now, Neef works in a café in London and calls herself Jennifer. Jennifer is sober and determined to stay anonymous, until Danny's father shows up looking for his missing son. As the memories she once fled resurface, Neef is forced to face the decisions she's made and the person she's become. Heartbreaking and hopeful, Wild Ground is an achingly tender novel of first love and second chances.
349 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 4, 2024
15 people are currently reading
8311 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 93 reviews
May 23, 2024
2.5/3
I really wanted to love this book coming, as it does, from my neck of the woods in Yorkshire. However I'm afraid the unremitting gloom eventually got me down.
I listened to the audio version which was extremely well read by Natalie Gavin. She was very clear and managed to portray Neef's helplessness but also her passions very well. I enjoyed the narration very much.
The story centres around Jennifer (Neef) and Danny whose relationship begins when Neef and her mother, Chrissy, move from Leeds to a quiet town in the countryside to become a family with Chrissy's latest boyfriend - landlord of the local pub, Barry.
Neef and Danny quickly become good friends and Danny tries to steer Neef away from her wild ways. However Danny has hurdles of his own to get over, being the only dual heritage child in the area. His home life is as fragmented as Neef's living with his grandmother, Mary. Danny's mum is dead and his father is persona non grata as far as Mary is concerned but he drifts in and out of Danny's life causing Neef to reevaluate her relationship with Danny who disappears the minute his father arrives on the scene.
The story follows a downward spiral from this point on with the odd bright spot being shortlived. Both Neef and Danny struggle to escape their chaotic upbringings that are steeped in addictive behaviours - both drugs and alcohol.
Emily Usher paints an almost totally bleak outlook for the pair. Neef seems to pin her whole happiness on Danny and few relationships could survive that pressure let alone one involving teenagers.
I think I was hoping for a more positive outcome by the end of the book (or indeed at any point). Having worked with the Children & Families Service I knew several families that could be likened to Neef or Danny's but while there were some children who were overwhelmed with helplessness there were many others who would fight not to carry on the downward spiral their parents were at the mercy of.
This book felt unnecessarily bleak at times and left a sour taste in the mouth.
Thankyou to Netgalley and Profile Books Audio for the advance review copy.
I really wanted to love this book coming, as it does, from my neck of the woods in Yorkshire. However I'm afraid the unremitting gloom eventually got me down.
I listened to the audio version which was extremely well read by Natalie Gavin. She was very clear and managed to portray Neef's helplessness but also her passions very well. I enjoyed the narration very much.
The story centres around Jennifer (Neef) and Danny whose relationship begins when Neef and her mother, Chrissy, move from Leeds to a quiet town in the countryside to become a family with Chrissy's latest boyfriend - landlord of the local pub, Barry.
Neef and Danny quickly become good friends and Danny tries to steer Neef away from her wild ways. However Danny has hurdles of his own to get over, being the only dual heritage child in the area. His home life is as fragmented as Neef's living with his grandmother, Mary. Danny's mum is dead and his father is persona non grata as far as Mary is concerned but he drifts in and out of Danny's life causing Neef to reevaluate her relationship with Danny who disappears the minute his father arrives on the scene.
The story follows a downward spiral from this point on with the odd bright spot being shortlived. Both Neef and Danny struggle to escape their chaotic upbringings that are steeped in addictive behaviours - both drugs and alcohol.
Emily Usher paints an almost totally bleak outlook for the pair. Neef seems to pin her whole happiness on Danny and few relationships could survive that pressure let alone one involving teenagers.
I think I was hoping for a more positive outcome by the end of the book (or indeed at any point). Having worked with the Children & Families Service I knew several families that could be likened to Neef or Danny's but while there were some children who were overwhelmed with helplessness there were many others who would fight not to carry on the downward spiral their parents were at the mercy of.
This book felt unnecessarily bleak at times and left a sour taste in the mouth.
Thankyou to Netgalley and Profile Books Audio for the advance review copy.
February 16, 2024
I feel two ways about the story. And someways it was absolutely fantastic and had me thoroughly engaged.. in the other way, the ending had such an open end that I’m struggling to be content with it. It’s a brilliant story. I loved the characters, how they interacted in good and bad. The writing was descriptive but not overly so. All in all, a pretty phenomenal effort with an unsettling ending.
May 16, 2024
DNF for now at 46%.
this had the recipe to be something i should have loved, yet fell incredibly flat.
i love bleak, slow-moving novels yet at over 200 pages in and with over 200 pages to go it felt like it was just more of the same.
the FMC was insufferable and the dialogue was corny. i also felt like i was being told more than i was being shown, which always takes me out of a novel.
i'm disappointed because i wanted to love this, but it missed the mark for me. thank you to the publisher for the gifted copy.
this had the recipe to be something i should have loved, yet fell incredibly flat.
i love bleak, slow-moving novels yet at over 200 pages in and with over 200 pages to go it felt like it was just more of the same.
the FMC was insufferable and the dialogue was corny. i also felt like i was being told more than i was being shown, which always takes me out of a novel.
i'm disappointed because i wanted to love this, but it missed the mark for me. thank you to the publisher for the gifted copy.
January 25, 2024
I loved this book. This is perfect for fans of Shuggie Bain, Young Mungo, and Juno Loves Legs. This is a story about the struggles of poverty, addiction, racism in a small town, and the love and comfort two kids find in each other. It's rough and heartbreaking and beautiful.
April 18, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley for the arc of this book.
Truthfully, I don't often get overly emotional when reading anymore. I do feel things (too much most of the time) but my body tends to fight back when I need and want to cry. My body lost the fight today and tears were shed.
Wild Ground absolutely gutted me and I really did not see that coming. The characters were developed so well, I could feel their pain and their joy. I felt (most times short-lived) happiness for some characters and (almost constant) disgust for others. Really, I felt all the emotions while reading.
I had no problem following dialogue, even with the lack of quotation marks. I have mixed feelings about the ending but even that doesn't take away from how much I liked this.
Truthfully, I don't often get overly emotional when reading anymore. I do feel things (too much most of the time) but my body tends to fight back when I need and want to cry. My body lost the fight today and tears were shed.
Wild Ground absolutely gutted me and I really did not see that coming. The characters were developed so well, I could feel their pain and their joy. I felt (most times short-lived) happiness for some characters and (almost constant) disgust for others. Really, I felt all the emotions while reading.
I had no problem following dialogue, even with the lack of quotation marks. I have mixed feelings about the ending but even that doesn't take away from how much I liked this.
March 20, 2024
The characters in this dark romance are flawed, damaged, and without strong morals and engage in behaviors that are considered unacceptable or criminal. However the author does an exceptional job adding depth and nuance to this story, as well as creating emotional connections between the reader and the characters. Some of the conflicting emotions touched upon in this book are love and hate, desire and repulsion, loyalty and betrayal. The author also does an excellent job weaving in past trauma or psychological challenges, such as guilt, shame, or fear. My one complaint would be this book was very long however I did get the ARC and it was unedited. I don't generally read YA books however I think this would be considered one. I enjoyed the book and after a lot of negative emotions that I felt throughout the book from the complex characters, at the end I was left feeling a sense of peace and hope. Overall I really enjoyed this love story. It was edgy, different and the connection between the two characters was powerful.
August 31, 2024
Oh my little heart is still broken by Neef and Danny. You know when you read the first few pages of a book and can tell you’re getting your heart broken? But pass over the tissues because I am diving straight in? Well yep, that was Wild Ground for me 👏🏼
Now, if you’ve followed my page for a while you know I am an absolute SUCKER for a depressing, coming of age story where the main characters do not get the love they deserve (yes, I’m a weirdo). Neef and Danny are two characters I will not forget in hurry. Both complex in their own ways, with parents who do not always do right by them. Trying to make something of themselves, get out of the small, gossipy, dead end town but becoming dragged down by the addiction, poverty and trauma that comes with growing up in harsh circumstances. The love between Neef and Danny jumps off the page and you want to protect them at all costs. They were infuriating at times but it made the story all the more believable. The shame we can carry as humans and not wanting to share our shame in case it changes the way the people we love most look at us. Neef needed a hug ❤️🩹 and it will take me a while to emotionally recover.
I was pleasantly surprised by one character in this book, and it’s a perfect portrayal of how gossip and assumptions can destroy a person and their reputation.
I felt like this one was a mixture of Shuggie Bain, This is England and Normal People. I didn’t want to put it down. Now, the ending is slightly ambiguous which I’m not always a fan of BUT it didn’t phase me in the slightest. I knew Wild Ground was getting 5 stars a few chapters in. A fantastic debut novel!!
Now, if you’ve followed my page for a while you know I am an absolute SUCKER for a depressing, coming of age story where the main characters do not get the love they deserve (yes, I’m a weirdo). Neef and Danny are two characters I will not forget in hurry. Both complex in their own ways, with parents who do not always do right by them. Trying to make something of themselves, get out of the small, gossipy, dead end town but becoming dragged down by the addiction, poverty and trauma that comes with growing up in harsh circumstances. The love between Neef and Danny jumps off the page and you want to protect them at all costs. They were infuriating at times but it made the story all the more believable. The shame we can carry as humans and not wanting to share our shame in case it changes the way the people we love most look at us. Neef needed a hug ❤️🩹 and it will take me a while to emotionally recover.
I was pleasantly surprised by one character in this book, and it’s a perfect portrayal of how gossip and assumptions can destroy a person and their reputation.
I felt like this one was a mixture of Shuggie Bain, This is England and Normal People. I didn’t want to put it down. Now, the ending is slightly ambiguous which I’m not always a fan of BUT it didn’t phase me in the slightest. I knew Wild Ground was getting 5 stars a few chapters in. A fantastic debut novel!!
June 9, 2024
Thank you Random House Publishing Group - Random House for allowing me to read and review Wild Ground on NetGalley.
Published: 06/04/24
Stars: 2.5
Not for me. I had a difficult time from the beginning and started the book twice with a couple weeks in between. I didn't connect nor care. I struggled with the English slang? Just as I would get some momentum I came to a screeching halt.
It fell short as a story. If the synopsis appeals to you (it did me) and you can read slang I suggest trying.
There is overkill with the foul language.
Published: 06/04/24
Stars: 2.5
Not for me. I had a difficult time from the beginning and started the book twice with a couple weeks in between. I didn't connect nor care. I struggled with the English slang? Just as I would get some momentum I came to a screeching halt.
It fell short as a story. If the synopsis appeals to you (it did me) and you can read slang I suggest trying.
There is overkill with the foul language.
November 24, 2024
Thank you to Penguin Randomhouse for an e-ARC of Wild Ground. Here are my opinions on the novel!
This is a love story about Neef and Danny, a couple of teenagers in England who have had a rough go at life. Chrissy, Neef’s mother, is beautiful and uses her beauty to get her through the hard times. Danny is half-Jamaican and the small community they live in, treat him differently due to his skin colour. The novel spans over years and shows the highs and lows of this couple.
I’m not often a romance reader, but this was quite a beautiful book. It is tragically sad and my heart went out to Neef and Danny often. I wanted to see them overcome and fight past their demons but so often they succumb to various pressures around them. It’s not an easy read, so I would advise being in the right headspace to read this one.
The characters were fully realized, but frustrating at times. They just made decisions very differently than I would, but they also went through very different lives than I did. It’s also a little bit of a slow read, and there isn’t much smut if that’s how you like your romance.
I listened to a most of this on Spotify. The narrator, Natalie Gavin, has a voice that I could just listen to forever. I loved her accent and the emotion that was put into her reading. Would highly recommend reading anything narrated by her!
This is a love story about Neef and Danny, a couple of teenagers in England who have had a rough go at life. Chrissy, Neef’s mother, is beautiful and uses her beauty to get her through the hard times. Danny is half-Jamaican and the small community they live in, treat him differently due to his skin colour. The novel spans over years and shows the highs and lows of this couple.
I’m not often a romance reader, but this was quite a beautiful book. It is tragically sad and my heart went out to Neef and Danny often. I wanted to see them overcome and fight past their demons but so often they succumb to various pressures around them. It’s not an easy read, so I would advise being in the right headspace to read this one.
The characters were fully realized, but frustrating at times. They just made decisions very differently than I would, but they also went through very different lives than I did. It’s also a little bit of a slow read, and there isn’t much smut if that’s how you like your romance.
I listened to a most of this on Spotify. The narrator, Natalie Gavin, has a voice that I could just listen to forever. I loved her accent and the emotion that was put into her reading. Would highly recommend reading anything narrated by her!
February 21, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for giving me an ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review!
4.5 stars!
I love the writing style of this book. There were so many hard hitting lines and the way the author told the story makes you feel for these characters like you know them personally.
It was hard for me at first to read it because it has no quotations for dialogue, but I got used to it eventually so it wasn’t too bad.
This is a dark story and it is very difficult to read, but you just have to read it. I cannot stress it enough. It’s hard to put into words how this made me feel because it made me feel so many complex emotions: anger, sadness, disbelief, fury, happiness, grief, pity, you name it.
I think this would be good to reread eventually after knowing the full story and reading the whole timeline.
“Wild Ground” is a perfect title for this book even though it hurts terribly to think of the meaning behind it.
There were so many complex characters in this book. There were also a lot of disgusting horrible characters as well.
My heart ached for Jennifer, especially at the end, seeing her hit rock bottom. All the things that happened to her and how she felt about herself afterward was so hard to read, I just wanted to hug her. There were times as well though where I got angry at her for not understanding what was happening to Danny and the words she used against him. She was a sad, broken person.
Danny was such a sweetheart. I thought it was so sweet how much he loved plants. I loved him and I loved how much they loved each other, the connection they had. It was so heartbreaking to see everything that he went through as well. He said some harsh things to Jennifer, but a lot of times she needed to hear it. Any time they walked away from each other it hurt my soul.
I love Fionnoula and Ali with all my heart. Their story of how people treated their relationship made me ache, but they were such wonderful people. I wish we could have seen them more.
I had such a complicated relationship with Denz. There was so many times I got angry at him, but the more I thought about it, I think some of it was because I was biased by Jen and how she felt about him because we were in her head. By the end I understood him more and warmed up to him, especially when he tried to fix his wrongs. It was a little too little too late, but the effort was there.
I could also probably talk for hours about how complex but also not very complex at all Chrissy was. She was another very polarizing interesting character to me. You couldn’t help but feel bad for her, but you can also see that she was a terrible mother. At the same time, the more you learn the more you may realize that things aren’t as black and white as they seem.
This is a bit of a spoiler so skip this next paragraph if you have not read the book yet, but there was a line that really stuck with me at the end when Denz goes: “It weren't as easy for a kid like Danny to fall and get back up. You could do things that he couldn't and still come back and pick up your life. And that's what you did, even if you can't see it for yourself. It wouldn't have been the same for him. There would have been no goin back.”
I could see that even before Denz said it but that line explained everything perfectly. As I said before there were so many times Jennifer made me so angry because I was like can’t you see that people treat Danny differently because they are being racist, and it will always be harder for him than it will be for you, even if you do or go through the same things. It really hits home that if you are not a person of color, you’ll never fully understand what they go through, just because of the color of their skin.
All the racism throughout just made me so infuriated. It is a very prevalent part of the book and any time I read about it, it didn’t make it any easier to stomach. And I am not affected by it in my personal life, so I can’t even imagine what it’s like to go through it.
The last two lines of this book had me sobbing like a baby I’ll tell you that much. It felt like a punch to the gut when I read it, but it was such a great way to tie everything together.
Part of me is mad at the open ending, because I want more answers, but the more I look at it, it’s actually the perfect ending for this book. You can think what you want and decided what you think the future will hold, but at the end of the day I think it gave enough that you can guess what happened. It was a very bittersweet ending, but that’s what made this book so good. It was just very real.
I highly recommend reading this! It is very difficult to read, so be prepared. It is not a lighthearted book at all. There are very terrible things that happen throughout. But I also think it is a hopeful story at its core.
I am posting this review to Goodreads on 2/21/2024 and I will be posting this review to Amazon on the day of its release!
4.5 stars!
I love the writing style of this book. There were so many hard hitting lines and the way the author told the story makes you feel for these characters like you know them personally.
It was hard for me at first to read it because it has no quotations for dialogue, but I got used to it eventually so it wasn’t too bad.
This is a dark story and it is very difficult to read, but you just have to read it. I cannot stress it enough. It’s hard to put into words how this made me feel because it made me feel so many complex emotions: anger, sadness, disbelief, fury, happiness, grief, pity, you name it.
I think this would be good to reread eventually after knowing the full story and reading the whole timeline.
“Wild Ground” is a perfect title for this book even though it hurts terribly to think of the meaning behind it.
There were so many complex characters in this book. There were also a lot of disgusting horrible characters as well.
My heart ached for Jennifer, especially at the end, seeing her hit rock bottom. All the things that happened to her and how she felt about herself afterward was so hard to read, I just wanted to hug her. There were times as well though where I got angry at her for not understanding what was happening to Danny and the words she used against him. She was a sad, broken person.
Danny was such a sweetheart. I thought it was so sweet how much he loved plants. I loved him and I loved how much they loved each other, the connection they had. It was so heartbreaking to see everything that he went through as well. He said some harsh things to Jennifer, but a lot of times she needed to hear it. Any time they walked away from each other it hurt my soul.
I love Fionnoula and Ali with all my heart. Their story of how people treated their relationship made me ache, but they were such wonderful people. I wish we could have seen them more.
I had such a complicated relationship with Denz. There was so many times I got angry at him, but the more I thought about it, I think some of it was because I was biased by Jen and how she felt about him because we were in her head. By the end I understood him more and warmed up to him, especially when he tried to fix his wrongs. It was a little too little too late, but the effort was there.
I could also probably talk for hours about how complex but also not very complex at all Chrissy was. She was another very polarizing interesting character to me. You couldn’t help but feel bad for her, but you can also see that she was a terrible mother. At the same time, the more you learn the more you may realize that things aren’t as black and white as they seem.
This is a bit of a spoiler so skip this next paragraph if you have not read the book yet, but there was a line that really stuck with me at the end when Denz goes: “It weren't as easy for a kid like Danny to fall and get back up. You could do things that he couldn't and still come back and pick up your life. And that's what you did, even if you can't see it for yourself. It wouldn't have been the same for him. There would have been no goin back.”
I could see that even before Denz said it but that line explained everything perfectly. As I said before there were so many times Jennifer made me so angry because I was like can’t you see that people treat Danny differently because they are being racist, and it will always be harder for him than it will be for you, even if you do or go through the same things. It really hits home that if you are not a person of color, you’ll never fully understand what they go through, just because of the color of their skin.
All the racism throughout just made me so infuriated. It is a very prevalent part of the book and any time I read about it, it didn’t make it any easier to stomach. And I am not affected by it in my personal life, so I can’t even imagine what it’s like to go through it.
The last two lines of this book had me sobbing like a baby I’ll tell you that much. It felt like a punch to the gut when I read it, but it was such a great way to tie everything together.
Part of me is mad at the open ending, because I want more answers, but the more I look at it, it’s actually the perfect ending for this book. You can think what you want and decided what you think the future will hold, but at the end of the day I think it gave enough that you can guess what happened. It was a very bittersweet ending, but that’s what made this book so good. It was just very real.
I highly recommend reading this! It is very difficult to read, so be prepared. It is not a lighthearted book at all. There are very terrible things that happen throughout. But I also think it is a hopeful story at its core.
I am posting this review to Goodreads on 2/21/2024 and I will be posting this review to Amazon on the day of its release!
February 9, 2025
98% tragedy with 2% glimmers of hope scattered throughout. Ali & Fionnoula are the true MVPs
October 6, 2024
ARC provided in exchange for an honest review.
I’m a little backlogged on my ARC’s but working diligently to get caught up. I really enjoyed the premise of this story! It highlights the racial divide in England, as it still is in much of the world. First love can last a lifetime, whether you end up with the other person or not. This book was both happy at times and downright depressing at others. I would recommend for anyone that enjoys books about first love and interracial relationships!
I’m a little backlogged on my ARC’s but working diligently to get caught up. I really enjoyed the premise of this story! It highlights the racial divide in England, as it still is in much of the world. First love can last a lifetime, whether you end up with the other person or not. This book was both happy at times and downright depressing at others. I would recommend for anyone that enjoys books about first love and interracial relationships!
September 1, 2024
Incredible incredible incredible. I knew from the first couple of pages that this was a really special book and I had to fight myself to not devour it in one sitting and really savour how much this book was making me feel. It’s heartbreaking and gut wrenching and made me sob out loud in too many public places but fucking hell was it beautiful. Neef & Danny will stay in my brain for a long time, one of my favourite books I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading.
April 10, 2024
Oh wow. This was a gem of a book. From the get go, I knew I’d love this. The setting is so close to where I now call home that I felt connected to the backdrop and the familiar accents and people. There’s a darkness running throughout this book, keeping you on edge and hoping and praying that the characters make the right choices. The story is something I’ve seen time and time again in people I used to know, it hits so close to home and is so real and raw.
Usher doesn’t shy away from the painful truths of poverty, racism and abuse. Despite it all, there’s so much hope and love. I absolutely adored Neef, or rather Jen’s, story. Her longing for love and acceptance was something I think everyone can relate to, and I’m so happy she got to feel that warmth eventually. Danny was so beautifully broken, in a way that’s often hard to convey in writing, but Usher manages it brilliantly. There’s an ache between these two characters, one that leaves the reader feel heartbroken for them both.
The entire book is brimming with emotion and humanity. I simply adored it, even though it was a tough read, it was done so well that I’ve come away feeling light. And I love the spotlight on the North. Simply mesmerising.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for kindly providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review. #WildGround #NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
Usher doesn’t shy away from the painful truths of poverty, racism and abuse. Despite it all, there’s so much hope and love. I absolutely adored Neef, or rather Jen’s, story. Her longing for love and acceptance was something I think everyone can relate to, and I’m so happy she got to feel that warmth eventually. Danny was so beautifully broken, in a way that’s often hard to convey in writing, but Usher manages it brilliantly. There’s an ache between these two characters, one that leaves the reader feel heartbroken for them both.
The entire book is brimming with emotion and humanity. I simply adored it, even though it was a tough read, it was done so well that I’ve come away feeling light. And I love the spotlight on the North. Simply mesmerising.
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for kindly providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review. #WildGround #NetGalley. All opinions are my own.
June 14, 2024
Wild Ground by Emily Usher is a moving, tender portrait of survival and friendship. Neef and Danny have been inseparable ever since Neef moved to their rural Yorkshire town. They are bonded by their dreams of a different life surviving hardships through Neef’s storytelling and Danny’s gardening. As they grow together these dreams are tested and a familiar cycle of abuse, addiction, poverty and racism haunts them. In the present day Neef lives and works in a cafe in London she’s escaped her past until Denz, Danny’s father shows up looking for his son. The memories, the pain come flooding back and Neef realises she must face the ghosts of her past. It is a beautiful and searing novel and I felt deeply connected to Neef and her search for a home, a true family in a world where love, beauty and compassion is hard to find. The central friendship and love between Neef and Danny is devastating and complex and richly portrayed in the clear, poetic prose. The images of nature and stories in the novel highlighted the characters need for connection and understanding and was elegantly realised as our characters reached for each other and the roots of the land to escape and endure. A compelling work of contemporary, literary fiction from a new voice 4.25 Stars ✨.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a review copy of this book in exchange for honest feedback.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a review copy of this book in exchange for honest feedback.
April 9, 2024
An excellent story of first love in a terrible upbringing. With clear parallels to Juno loves Legs, this is a more gritty account of abuse and drugs as two teenagers try to come to terms with loss and neglect in their childhood. I loved the characters and couldn't put this book down for wanting to find out what happens to them. Overall a sad but uplifting tale with just enough ambiguity at the end to keep you wondering...
#WildGround #NetGalley
#WildGround #NetGalley
June 30, 2024
3.5 stars
This was not an easy read, but I felt the ending made it worth pushing through the hard parts, which was much of the story. If you're looking for an uplifting story, then this is not it. But if you're looking for a story that is raw and real and perhaps holds some hope for the main character at the end, then you should check out this story. The characters are all imperfect, perpetuating generational damage, and despite the fact that I did not like Danny's father from the beginning, I could also understand where he and Danny were coming from. Ultimately, I feel that this was a case of the adults completely failing the children, and there were so many times when I kept thinking that if only so-and-so weren't so immediately judgmental. They all made mistakes and yes, the kids did too. But part of those mistakes was because they had terrible role models. Even the teachers who were supposed to be better role models immediately judged Danny or Neef, which led to bad choices. I do wonder what would have happened if Neef had allowed her English teacher to help her. I do think that her heart was in the right place, even if she had some of the savior complex happening. And Mary could have helped Danny and Neef, but I feel that her instant judgment of what they were like prevented her from truly reaching them.
This was particularly tough because it was such an unhappy book. And yet, I think the author succeeded in us seeing that as flawed as these characters were, even someone like Denz had redeeming features. While the damage that he probably caused Danny and Neef was likely permanent, I also think that some of what he did probably was good for them, even if they never speak to him again. The ending is open-ended in some ways, but ultimately hopeful.
Hands-down my favorite characters were Ali and Fionnoula as well as their community. They brought some light to what was otherwise a very depressing book. I really liked the conversations Ali had with Neef/Jen, especially about making peace with her past. Not forgetting her past, but accepting it and then letting it go. And although she would never have a relationship with Denz, I liked that she was finally able to see things from his and Danny's perspective, about being a black male in a society that automatically judges you on the color of your skin.
In the end, I would be open to reading another book by this author--she's a good writer and she drew me into Neef and Danny's story despite it being a downer. Would I recommend this book? Yes, depending on what kind of read you're looking for. Content warnings include casual drug use (both weed and much harder drugs), alcohol abuse, sexual assault and victim blaming, racism, and mental illness.
I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book from NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
This was not an easy read, but I felt the ending made it worth pushing through the hard parts, which was much of the story. If you're looking for an uplifting story, then this is not it. But if you're looking for a story that is raw and real and perhaps holds some hope for the main character at the end, then you should check out this story. The characters are all imperfect, perpetuating generational damage, and despite the fact that I did not like Danny's father from the beginning, I could also understand where he and Danny were coming from. Ultimately, I feel that this was a case of the adults completely failing the children, and there were so many times when I kept thinking that if only so-and-so weren't so immediately judgmental. They all made mistakes and yes, the kids did too. But part of those mistakes was because they had terrible role models. Even the teachers who were supposed to be better role models immediately judged Danny or Neef, which led to bad choices. I do wonder what would have happened if Neef had allowed her English teacher to help her. I do think that her heart was in the right place, even if she had some of the savior complex happening. And Mary could have helped Danny and Neef, but I feel that her instant judgment of what they were like prevented her from truly reaching them.
This was particularly tough because it was such an unhappy book. And yet, I think the author succeeded in us seeing that as flawed as these characters were, even someone like Denz had redeeming features. While the damage that he probably caused Danny and Neef was likely permanent, I also think that some of what he did probably was good for them, even if they never speak to him again. The ending is open-ended in some ways, but ultimately hopeful.
Hands-down my favorite characters were Ali and Fionnoula as well as their community. They brought some light to what was otherwise a very depressing book. I really liked the conversations Ali had with Neef/Jen, especially about making peace with her past. Not forgetting her past, but accepting it and then letting it go. And although she would never have a relationship with Denz, I liked that she was finally able to see things from his and Danny's perspective, about being a black male in a society that automatically judges you on the color of your skin.
In the end, I would be open to reading another book by this author--she's a good writer and she drew me into Neef and Danny's story despite it being a downer. Would I recommend this book? Yes, depending on what kind of read you're looking for. Content warnings include casual drug use (both weed and much harder drugs), alcohol abuse, sexual assault and victim blaming, racism, and mental illness.
I voluntarily read and reviewed an advanced copy of this book from NetGalley. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
May 6, 2024
Our neighborhood pub or café makes me think of this book where everyone seems to know each other but they don’t really. Locals go there all the time to find a place in life that is familiar. But to step into another person’s path doesn’t seem to be allowed. Secrets stay hidden.
This is a well-developed story with two teenagers: Jen trying to find her way with her best friend, Danny, who tries to protect her. Not everyone in life is blessed with wonderful parents and Jen and Danny are doing the best they can, living on the edge at times while hanging out at the pub.
Jen is smart and loves to write but has a wild side and that gets her in trouble. Danny is a pleaser and he enjoys sharing his knowledge of trees and plants. They may think they’re on a life plan but sometimes obstacles get in the way.
It could be read in a day or two as the writing is smooth with relatively short chapters and a handful of characters. However, right away, you notice that there are no quotes and timelines.
This family drama may remind you of someone you know. It’s that kind of story that includes those feeling like they don’t belong making it hard to socialize. There’s also a bit of prejudice and addiction that surfaces. This would make an interesting conversation about relationships and hardships in life.
My thanks to Random House and NetGalley for allowing me to read an advanced copy of this book with an expected release date of June 4, 2024.
This is a well-developed story with two teenagers: Jen trying to find her way with her best friend, Danny, who tries to protect her. Not everyone in life is blessed with wonderful parents and Jen and Danny are doing the best they can, living on the edge at times while hanging out at the pub.
Jen is smart and loves to write but has a wild side and that gets her in trouble. Danny is a pleaser and he enjoys sharing his knowledge of trees and plants. They may think they’re on a life plan but sometimes obstacles get in the way.
It could be read in a day or two as the writing is smooth with relatively short chapters and a handful of characters. However, right away, you notice that there are no quotes and timelines.
This family drama may remind you of someone you know. It’s that kind of story that includes those feeling like they don’t belong making it hard to socialize. There’s also a bit of prejudice and addiction that surfaces. This would make an interesting conversation about relationships and hardships in life.
My thanks to Random House and NetGalley for allowing me to read an advanced copy of this book with an expected release date of June 4, 2024.
June 27, 2024
I received this book as an Advanced Readers Copy from a Goodreads giveaway. If you're looking for a book that will be light and happy: this is not it. There are many dark elements including racism, rape, substance abuse, and mental illness. The book is told from the perspectives of Jennifer (Neef). All I was hoping for was for just one adult to stick up for this girl and show her love. Neef struggles with a bad home life which leads to addiction while also being in an interracial relationship and facing society's prejudice opinions. This book was a quick read despite how heavy the entire story was. It is only until the last two pages there is any hope or any type of uplifting feeling. This is definitely one of those books that leaves me sitting staring blankly after I finish it, needing to process what I just read.
March 26, 2024
The format of this book takes a little getting used to, but once I got familiar with no quotation marks, I finished the last half of this book in one sitting. Poverty, racism, young love, all through the eyes of a girl growing up with an addict mother and a very unstable home.
Jen (or Neef, for half the book), is not a lovable main, but she also isn’t disliked. She’s adrift, born to an adrift mother, and this is her story of grounding. And what Usher does so well is tell the story from a young girl’s perspective. There were times I wondered if this book was a memoir - the writing is so raw, so blunt, so perfect for a 14 year old girl.
I left this book in a puddle of my tears - I loved Denz in the end and I understand why he did what he did to protect his son. I wanted so much for Neef and Danny, but in the way first loves go, we don’t always get to stay with the one that knows us best. The character arc Jen/Neef went through was so remarkably done it left me sleepless!
This book is not for the faint of heart - there’s rape, drugs, abandonment, but there’s also a sweet love story and the hope of chosen family.
Jen (or Neef, for half the book), is not a lovable main, but she also isn’t disliked. She’s adrift, born to an adrift mother, and this is her story of grounding. And what Usher does so well is tell the story from a young girl’s perspective. There were times I wondered if this book was a memoir - the writing is so raw, so blunt, so perfect for a 14 year old girl.
I left this book in a puddle of my tears - I loved Denz in the end and I understand why he did what he did to protect his son. I wanted so much for Neef and Danny, but in the way first loves go, we don’t always get to stay with the one that knows us best. The character arc Jen/Neef went through was so remarkably done it left me sleepless!
This book is not for the faint of heart - there’s rape, drugs, abandonment, but there’s also a sweet love story and the hope of chosen family.
January 5, 2025
I picked this one up in a rush at the library and was taken aback by how much it gripped me! I’ve read lots of books that touch on similar topics and life perspectives, but none have felt as real to me as this one. Tragic and heartbreaking, but full of love and honesty. Cried for the first time by page 39 and many times thereafter 🤣 hard to explain why it was so good, but I was just able to envisage / understand the characters so vividly, so felt really connected the whole time. Think this one will stay with me for a while x
June 1, 2024
Where do I start??! This story was written with a lot of depth and character development. It was hard to reconcile my feelings when reading about the trauma, misunderstandings, racism, assault, addiction, miscommunication/lack of communication, false perceptions, hope, and love between broken people. Relationships and people’s truth are often messy, and it’s certainly portrayed brilliantly in this novel. Although the ending is left open with a glimmer of hope and happiness, it wasn’t enough to overshadow all the struggles the characters experienced. Perhaps, a sequel??! 🤔
February 3, 2025
4.5 stars
May 18, 2025
Loved it. Great characters. I only feel like if it was longer there could have been more room for it to all come together a bit more
December 16, 2025
I really didnt enjoy the writing style and the story was engaging but so sad. hard to finish this one.
August 22, 2024
Jennifer and Danny meet when they are young teenagers and Jennifer has just moved in with her mother's boyfriend. Life isn't easy for each of them, as they face many challenges on their own and as a couple.
This book touches on a lot of difficult topics in a very moving way. Addiction, abuse, racism -- these are not easy topics to write about or read about.
Emily Usher's writing is really lovely, very vivid -- I could picture all the settings so well. I love reading books set in Ireland and really loved all the descriptions
Although I found this slow in parts, I overall really loved it and felt so deeply for all the characters. Definitely pick this one up if you want a character-driven coming of age story that will make your heart ache.
I will definitely check out more by Emily Usher in the future!
Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy of this book!
This book touches on a lot of difficult topics in a very moving way. Addiction, abuse, racism -- these are not easy topics to write about or read about.
Emily Usher's writing is really lovely, very vivid -- I could picture all the settings so well. I love reading books set in Ireland and really loved all the descriptions
Although I found this slow in parts, I overall really loved it and felt so deeply for all the characters. Definitely pick this one up if you want a character-driven coming of age story that will make your heart ache.
I will definitely check out more by Emily Usher in the future!
Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy of this book!
Want to read
May 25, 2024I was reading a library book so had to stop reading, but it started out great!
April 14, 2024
Let me begin by saying thank you to NetGalley and Penguin publishingfor the advanced copy.
This is the first unedited book I’ve read- the lack of quotations for conversations was hard to let go of.
This book will be loved by so many. It’s impactful, honest, heartbreaking, etc. Personally, the reason I didn’t love it is because I simply don’t love this genre- what’s supposed to be an emotional and impactful drama. I generally read books that keep me dying to know what happens next- thrillers, dark romance, etc. I will sometimes go for a book such a Wild Ground, and I find myself reading not to know what happened, but to finish.
I am not a great judge of books like this because of that. I despised Hello Beautiful, and it was one of the most popular and highly rated books of the year.
This book also has my number one least favourite thing in a book- an open ended ending.
I like everything to be clear- doesn’t have to be happy, just a clear resolution.
I also wish we saw the FMC become more empowered as the story went on. I wish she had let a certain character know exactly what he had done wrong and how awful what he did to her was (not the MMC). I don’t care how guilty someone felt, when you do things to someone like he did over and over, I have no empathy for you. Forgiveness is valuable, but we don’t see that either. I understand the intent and reasoning I guess, but there were many many ways this could have been done differently.
I think this book would have been more inspiring if Neef finally stood up for herself, instead of being a “meek mouse” as another character put it.
The more I think about it, the more I see the lack of character development. We see these characters spend many years together, only for them to combust, yet we don’t see either of the main characters repair the trauma and heartbreak and begin to grow and become stronger. I think the way the relationship played out is very realistic, especially for such young people with so much responsibility. What I really wish was that Neef had told Danny certain things (no spoilers) because I can’t stop wondering how that could have changed the course of their relationship.
I also really really disliked how ignorant Neef was to the blatant racism that was experienced by Danny and his father. She often equated her experiences to his, which is obviously so far from reality. What bothered me more is that we never saw growth from her surrounding this. It was always “I don’t get why the police would target you?” Throughout the whole book.
What I did appreciate was that Neef had quite the sense of self awareness in the past parts. The narration was honest as to her behaviour patterns, fear of being alone, etc.
The relationship between Danny and his Grandmother showed only resentment, when they both obviously loved each other very much. Certain things would have had much more of an impact had we seen moments of love instead of annoyance between them.
I loved Danny, he was clearly lost and alone and vulnerable. He seemed so gentle and vulnerable.
I also LOVED the chosen family Ali and Fi. They were such great supporting characters.
I don’t want to analyze this too much because the book wasn’t bad. I don’t know how much will change through editing, but as I said at the beginning, many will love this book.
This is the first unedited book I’ve read- the lack of quotations for conversations was hard to let go of.
This book will be loved by so many. It’s impactful, honest, heartbreaking, etc. Personally, the reason I didn’t love it is because I simply don’t love this genre- what’s supposed to be an emotional and impactful drama. I generally read books that keep me dying to know what happens next- thrillers, dark romance, etc. I will sometimes go for a book such a Wild Ground, and I find myself reading not to know what happened, but to finish.
I am not a great judge of books like this because of that. I despised Hello Beautiful, and it was one of the most popular and highly rated books of the year.
This book also has my number one least favourite thing in a book- an open ended ending.
I like everything to be clear- doesn’t have to be happy, just a clear resolution.
I also wish we saw the FMC become more empowered as the story went on. I wish she had let a certain character know exactly what he had done wrong and how awful what he did to her was (not the MMC). I don’t care how guilty someone felt, when you do things to someone like he did over and over, I have no empathy for you. Forgiveness is valuable, but we don’t see that either. I understand the intent and reasoning I guess, but there were many many ways this could have been done differently.
I think this book would have been more inspiring if Neef finally stood up for herself, instead of being a “meek mouse” as another character put it.
The more I think about it, the more I see the lack of character development. We see these characters spend many years together, only for them to combust, yet we don’t see either of the main characters repair the trauma and heartbreak and begin to grow and become stronger. I think the way the relationship played out is very realistic, especially for such young people with so much responsibility. What I really wish was that Neef had told Danny certain things (no spoilers) because I can’t stop wondering how that could have changed the course of their relationship.
I also really really disliked how ignorant Neef was to the blatant racism that was experienced by Danny and his father. She often equated her experiences to his, which is obviously so far from reality. What bothered me more is that we never saw growth from her surrounding this. It was always “I don’t get why the police would target you?” Throughout the whole book.
What I did appreciate was that Neef had quite the sense of self awareness in the past parts. The narration was honest as to her behaviour patterns, fear of being alone, etc.
The relationship between Danny and his Grandmother showed only resentment, when they both obviously loved each other very much. Certain things would have had much more of an impact had we seen moments of love instead of annoyance between them.
I loved Danny, he was clearly lost and alone and vulnerable. He seemed so gentle and vulnerable.
I also LOVED the chosen family Ali and Fi. They were such great supporting characters.
I don’t want to analyze this too much because the book wasn’t bad. I don’t know how much will change through editing, but as I said at the beginning, many will love this book.
August 17, 2024
Devoured this book - loved it! The ending was uplifting after such a gritty story. I recognised so many of the characters from pupils and families I’ve worked with! Brilliant first novel- when is the next book ????
April 15, 2024
This is a tough one to digest. Bleak, joyless, but yet so relevant. There is mental illness, drug addiction, racism, classism (is that a word? it should be!!) Neef and Danny and those around them have so much to deal with, and the hits just keep coming. I'm glad I read it for certain, but I'm going to need a happy Disney mind cleanse to get back into a safe mind space.
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