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Me Times Three: A novel
Everything’s going right for Sandra Berlin.
She is living in Manhattan, climbing the editorial ladder at ultra-chic fashion magazine Jolie!, and she’s just become engaged to Bucky Ross, her high-school sweetheart. Bucky’s her knight in shining WASP armor, a successful ad executive and a descendant of Betsy Ross, and their future promises a life of comfortable suburban the Tudor mansion, the beautiful children, the country club.
And then, three weeks later, at a party at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Sandy meets Bucky’s other fiancée.
Who tells her about Bucky’s third fiancée.
Which begins Sandy’s journey through the unfamiliar world of heartbreak and betrayal—and the most excruciating blind dates in the history of singledom. As she tries to piece her life back together, she relies on the common sense and compassion of her best friend, Paul—a rising young film agent, gorgeous, gay, and moneyed—to keep her sane. But even Paul has his secrets, and soon Sandy is forced, on her own, to reexamine her past and, more important, what she wants for her future.
Me Times Three is comic and tender, outrageous and wise—a shrewd, dead-on portrait of a certain slice of New York life. It’s a story about wished-for ideals versus hard realities, about being who you are versus the desire to fit in, and, finally, about how love can surprise us in the most unexpected ways.
She is living in Manhattan, climbing the editorial ladder at ultra-chic fashion magazine Jolie!, and she’s just become engaged to Bucky Ross, her high-school sweetheart. Bucky’s her knight in shining WASP armor, a successful ad executive and a descendant of Betsy Ross, and their future promises a life of comfortable suburban the Tudor mansion, the beautiful children, the country club.
And then, three weeks later, at a party at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Sandy meets Bucky’s other fiancée.
Who tells her about Bucky’s third fiancée.
Which begins Sandy’s journey through the unfamiliar world of heartbreak and betrayal—and the most excruciating blind dates in the history of singledom. As she tries to piece her life back together, she relies on the common sense and compassion of her best friend, Paul—a rising young film agent, gorgeous, gay, and moneyed—to keep her sane. But even Paul has his secrets, and soon Sandy is forced, on her own, to reexamine her past and, more important, what she wants for her future.
Me Times Three is comic and tender, outrageous and wise—a shrewd, dead-on portrait of a certain slice of New York life. It’s a story about wished-for ideals versus hard realities, about being who you are versus the desire to fit in, and, finally, about how love can surprise us in the most unexpected ways.
322 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 15, 2002
10 people are currently reading
350 people want to read
About the author
Alex Witchel
9 books12 followersAlex Witchel is a staff writer for The New York Times Magazine and also writes "Feed Me," a monthly column for the Times Dining section. The author of the novels The Spare Wife and Me Times Three, she lives in New York City with her husband, Frank Rich.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 109 reviews
June 27, 2008
The fact that Joan Didion positively endorsed this book on the back cover makes me wonder (a) if she read it and (b) if she did read it and liked it, should I continue to respect her?
What a terribly-written book.
Note that this is not a matter of liking or not liking a particular genre or style: I don't read a lot of chick-lit but I can get into a smartly written story of almost any kind. Remember in fourth grade when your teacher told you to "show, don't tell" in your writing? Apparently Ms. Witchel missed that day of class. Explication, explication, explication. Few details that add any sort of interest or depth to the characters, and those details there are feel so stock and cliched.
The heroine's not plucky, she's a poorly-drawn attempt at a plucky heroine. Every now and again she drops the name of some great writer so we can know that she's smarter than her job at a gossip rag. Hello, this gal wanted nothing more than to become a children's-book-writing-stay-at-home-mom-married-to-her-HS-sweetheart-sugardaddy. At something like 23. There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom or a children's book author or wanting to marry and settle down, trust me. But nothing about this woman's behavior qualifies her as plucky... christ, pick up Anne of Green Gables if that's what you want.
Similarly, I don't see anything sharply drawn about her descriptions of life in NYC or work at a fashion magazine. Granted, I've never worked at a fashion magazine so who am I to say, but the fact is, office life was described in a few lame cliches and weak character sketches. New York? I don't remember a single concrete image of NYC from this entire novel.
The only thing I can say in favor of this book is that it's a quick read that got me through a long subway ride to the UPS customer center in Brooklyn.
What a terribly-written book.
Note that this is not a matter of liking or not liking a particular genre or style: I don't read a lot of chick-lit but I can get into a smartly written story of almost any kind. Remember in fourth grade when your teacher told you to "show, don't tell" in your writing? Apparently Ms. Witchel missed that day of class. Explication, explication, explication. Few details that add any sort of interest or depth to the characters, and those details there are feel so stock and cliched.
The heroine's not plucky, she's a poorly-drawn attempt at a plucky heroine. Every now and again she drops the name of some great writer so we can know that she's smarter than her job at a gossip rag. Hello, this gal wanted nothing more than to become a children's-book-writing-stay-at-home-mom-married-to-her-HS-sweetheart-sugardaddy. At something like 23. There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom or a children's book author or wanting to marry and settle down, trust me. But nothing about this woman's behavior qualifies her as plucky... christ, pick up Anne of Green Gables if that's what you want.
Similarly, I don't see anything sharply drawn about her descriptions of life in NYC or work at a fashion magazine. Granted, I've never worked at a fashion magazine so who am I to say, but the fact is, office life was described in a few lame cliches and weak character sketches. New York? I don't remember a single concrete image of NYC from this entire novel.
The only thing I can say in favor of this book is that it's a quick read that got me through a long subway ride to the UPS customer center in Brooklyn.
July 24, 2025
3.5. Wow. Going against the grain on this one in a positive way. What an ending. One of the few books I’ve read that genuinely validates the setup work. Shocking example of character depth being used. However, front half takes some working through.
June 22, 2017
This is totally forgettable chick-lit that I picked up at the library book sale because I’ve read Alex Witchel’s articles in the New York Times. Sandra Berlin’s world is turned upside-down when her fiance turns out to have two other fiancees. Suddenly her suburban mom future is gone, and she must deal with weird roommates, a fairly crappy job, and dismal first dates. If you didn’t know that Sandy will triumph in the end, you haven’t been paying attention to the genre.
August 8, 2013
Well....this book was okay. Nothing about it stood out except that I didn't like or understand any of the characters.
1. You find out your fiancee has two other fiancees and then you pine away for him for over a year? I don't care if he was your high school sweetheart....really? And then you whine about it, and whine, and whine some more. And go through your ex's trash can (1 year after you broke up???) I would have rather read about her getting over her scummy fiancee and falling in love with someone else.
2. The gay best friend who died of AIDS just seemed....well...cliche. And it was a story line that I didn't understand - gay best friend who won't tell girlfriend/fiancee he is gay while he cavorts with anything wearing pants. And takes drugs like crazy and the best friend doesn't seem to care. So maybe this is because I am looking at this from a 2013 perspective and not a 1980s perspective (when this book was written). I know that a lot has changed since then. However, I think that this is an indication that the book didn't do a good job of placing the events (or the entire story) into the appropriate period. I felt like I was reading a modern story, but it wasn't, and, therefore, really didn't make sense to me.
1. You find out your fiancee has two other fiancees and then you pine away for him for over a year? I don't care if he was your high school sweetheart....really? And then you whine about it, and whine, and whine some more. And go through your ex's trash can (1 year after you broke up???) I would have rather read about her getting over her scummy fiancee and falling in love with someone else.
2. The gay best friend who died of AIDS just seemed....well...cliche. And it was a story line that I didn't understand - gay best friend who won't tell girlfriend/fiancee he is gay while he cavorts with anything wearing pants. And takes drugs like crazy and the best friend doesn't seem to care. So maybe this is because I am looking at this from a 2013 perspective and not a 1980s perspective (when this book was written). I know that a lot has changed since then. However, I think that this is an indication that the book didn't do a good job of placing the events (or the entire story) into the appropriate period. I felt like I was reading a modern story, but it wasn't, and, therefore, really didn't make sense to me.
January 13, 2024
I loved this book and am honestly shocked at all the negative reviews!
Firstly, a lot of people don’t like the Sandra. She’s a stuck-up, know-it-all, who thinks she a better than everyone else. Which in some cases is true as she personally didn’t believe that Beth was any competition, but Carla was. However, that’s the point. She knows she’s smart, she works as an editor for a successful company, she was engaged to a successful and rich businessman, she grew up knowing she was better than others. Yet, people of her class still degraded her and her family (mostly those who were related to Bucky). Her view of life was to be better than others and have them look at her and think ‘wow, she’s amazing’. Do readers not like that because it’s a realistic way to think? Sandra saw the world through her own eyes as someone who believed she was better than others. Personally, her character was more interesting than most female leads written today. Her way of moving on with her failed engagement was pretty realistic to those who faced similar problems. All she had wanted was to marry her high-school sweetheart and be a wife. What’s wrong with that? ‘Oh women can be so much more than a trophy wife now yada yada. It’s degrading of women!’ No it’s not, and besides Sandra still was an editor for a magazine! If she wanted to be a wife and mother, then that’s fine! Not every woman needs to be a literal girl boss and work! The issues was, that Bucky was not the correct man it took her a long time to figure it out. Life goes on.
Secondly, I loved how little romance there was. Realistically, this novel was just how she lived and dealt with the fact that her fiancé had two other fiancés. It was comedic, honestly, she went on with life, continued her job, and had some flings until she met Mark which was in the last 100 pages or so. This novel goes through the after events of someone who’s life has been turned upside down and how everything continues on as if it never happened. I loved it. The plot was simple, yet not full of just red-flagged, cringey romance as most chick-lots are. This had some depth.
Thirdly, everyone dislikes the whole Paul getting AIDS is sooo cliches. Is it? This was taken place in the 1980s when the AIDS pandemic was happening. This was realistic to what happened to a lot of gays during that decade. Sandra also didn’t butt in to what Paul was doing because their relationship wasn’t that deep. They were best friends, but they also avoided the things they didn’t want to confront. Which is why Paul called her ‘rose-tinted glasses’ or whatever. She refused to see what she didn’t want to see. This goes for their relationship. Both refused to see Paul’s issues until it was too late, and Paul refused to confront them as well. Neither wanted to live in reality with each other, but in this whimsical place where they could always hang out and be the ‘thems’ that they knew when they had first met.
Overall, I enjoyed this book a lot and am sad to see so many not. It wasn’t necessarily the most exciting book ever, but it gave a different pacing to the amount of other novels that copy and paste the same ideas in different fonts.
Firstly, a lot of people don’t like the Sandra. She’s a stuck-up, know-it-all, who thinks she a better than everyone else. Which in some cases is true as she personally didn’t believe that Beth was any competition, but Carla was. However, that’s the point. She knows she’s smart, she works as an editor for a successful company, she was engaged to a successful and rich businessman, she grew up knowing she was better than others. Yet, people of her class still degraded her and her family (mostly those who were related to Bucky). Her view of life was to be better than others and have them look at her and think ‘wow, she’s amazing’. Do readers not like that because it’s a realistic way to think? Sandra saw the world through her own eyes as someone who believed she was better than others. Personally, her character was more interesting than most female leads written today. Her way of moving on with her failed engagement was pretty realistic to those who faced similar problems. All she had wanted was to marry her high-school sweetheart and be a wife. What’s wrong with that? ‘Oh women can be so much more than a trophy wife now yada yada. It’s degrading of women!’ No it’s not, and besides Sandra still was an editor for a magazine! If she wanted to be a wife and mother, then that’s fine! Not every woman needs to be a literal girl boss and work! The issues was, that Bucky was not the correct man it took her a long time to figure it out. Life goes on.
Secondly, I loved how little romance there was. Realistically, this novel was just how she lived and dealt with the fact that her fiancé had two other fiancés. It was comedic, honestly, she went on with life, continued her job, and had some flings until she met Mark which was in the last 100 pages or so. This novel goes through the after events of someone who’s life has been turned upside down and how everything continues on as if it never happened. I loved it. The plot was simple, yet not full of just red-flagged, cringey romance as most chick-lots are. This had some depth.
Thirdly, everyone dislikes the whole Paul getting AIDS is sooo cliches. Is it? This was taken place in the 1980s when the AIDS pandemic was happening. This was realistic to what happened to a lot of gays during that decade. Sandra also didn’t butt in to what Paul was doing because their relationship wasn’t that deep. They were best friends, but they also avoided the things they didn’t want to confront. Which is why Paul called her ‘rose-tinted glasses’ or whatever. She refused to see what she didn’t want to see. This goes for their relationship. Both refused to see Paul’s issues until it was too late, and Paul refused to confront them as well. Neither wanted to live in reality with each other, but in this whimsical place where they could always hang out and be the ‘thems’ that they knew when they had first met.
Overall, I enjoyed this book a lot and am sad to see so many not. It wasn’t necessarily the most exciting book ever, but it gave a different pacing to the amount of other novels that copy and paste the same ideas in different fonts.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 14, 2020
First read this when I was a teenager, not too long after it was published, and for some reason it’s one of those books that’s stuck with me…one way or another. It was startling to read it again, at least a decade since the last time I read it, and see little moments that I remembered, but hadn’t remembered were part of this book specifically:
It’s not really an exceptional book in any sense of the word, but it’s somehow still one that I harbour a strong fondness for. It’s slotted in a mental category with The Last Year of Being Single (pretty sure these are the only two books in that category, actually, though something like In Her Shoes might be nearby), and I think I just enjoy the way that whether or not things are going well in Sandra’s life, it’s not a matter of screaming blow-outs and backstabbing, but quieter dramas. I probably can't recommend it to anyone without losing any (last vestiges of) respect they have for my book recs, but will I someday read this yet again? I think so.
I eventually grew accustomed to the fact that I seemed to truly bother her. If it wasn’t my editing, it was my smoking, which she loathed. And if it wasn’t my smoking, it was the way I dressed, in clear violation of her “few good pieces” philosophy, which was that even though her inevitable gray-and-white getup might resemble a prison matron’s, it was made of the finest materials and cost a fortune. I, however, was of the “many not-so-good pieces persuasion, so that I wouldn’t die of boredom. (9)Little things like that. (I’ve considered this when I think about my own approach to clothing, which is definitely on Sandra’s side of things, albeit with a thrift store bent—when 90% of your wardrobe comes from charity shops, you’re much less fussed about it if something has to be replaced or just is no longer your style.) I remembered the Betsy Ross storyline, but not that it was this book. Ditto the Pepto-Bismol. And: I remembered Paul’s story, but not that Paul’s story was in this book, which meant that partway through I had an oh-shit moment of remembering.
It’s not really an exceptional book in any sense of the word, but it’s somehow still one that I harbour a strong fondness for. It’s slotted in a mental category with The Last Year of Being Single (pretty sure these are the only two books in that category, actually, though something like In Her Shoes might be nearby), and I think I just enjoy the way that whether or not things are going well in Sandra’s life, it’s not a matter of screaming blow-outs and backstabbing, but quieter dramas. I probably can't recommend it to anyone without losing any (last vestiges of) respect they have for my book recs, but will I someday read this yet again? I think so.
July 18, 2017
Ugh...ok, so I picked this book up off the discount rack at a used bookstore. I guess I'm not really out much, but wow, talk about false advertising. I was expecting a lot more fun in this book. There's a quote on the front of the book from the New York Times, "Deliciously wrought, with a fun twist and some lovely revenge along the way." Yeah, so how about the revenge didn't even happen until page 279...of 304! WTF? Also, I kinda felt like I was reading three different books at the same time: The one where the girl gets dumped by her HS boyfriend, the one where the girl's gay best friend , and the one where the girl with a fickle mind frustrates you to no end until she FINALLY gets with the good guy. Needless to say, the minute I finished this book, it went straight in the Goodwill box.
August 21, 2025
Despite the rudimentary writing and unrealistic sappy happy ending, this book was amusing and relatable. She gets her heart broken by a piece of shit man? Relatable. She tries dating but finds it exhausting and unrewarding and then swears off men? Relatable. Her ex comes back in the picture and begs her to take him back, after cheating on her for years and being engaged to multiple women, and she decides to take this comfortable loser back but then discovers he’s lying yet again, amid a panic attack where she’s doubting her decision? Relatable. The only part I didn’t expect was watching her best friend die of aids from thousands of miles away. That was gut-wrenching. I didn’t know what to expect from this book, but it’s totally fine in a basic bitch way.
August 7, 2017
Meh, this was pretty much what I expected from a sort of chick-lit, rom com book. Our main character learns her fiancé has two other fiancees. Uh oh! This felt like it had a lot of detail –as we got lots of backstory about Sandra as well as forward movement of the plot, but it really felt like the author didn’t really know where the end point was. The book had interesting moments and wasn’t unenjoyable to read…but it seems like a bonbon…a momentary distraction but something I can barely remember details about now.
September 1, 2018
**Warning: this text may contain spoilers** I only finished reading this book because I needed to read a book with textured pages, and this is the only one I had on hand. It was so uninteresting that I almost stopped reading it when I only had 30 pages left. The story line is bland, the writing was okay, the stories that the main character writes don't make sense, and even the interesting characters are boring. I had absolutely no attachment to any of the characters. Even when the best friend of Sandra dies, I couldn't even muster up a, "that's too bad."
December 15, 2019
Another Bridget Jones-esque novel. I know, I read a lot of these stories about women in their 20s/30s
dealing with relationship issues (Her, The Girl’s Guide To Hunting and Fishing). It’s a guilty pleasure.
Anyway, the basis of the story is kind of silly – a girl engaged to her high school sweetheart discovers that he’s actually engaged to two other women – but there are some deep and moving subplots too. Sandra struggles with the right reasons for marrying Bucky, while discovering that her gay best friend, Paul, hasn’t been completely honest with her either.
dealing with relationship issues (Her, The Girl’s Guide To Hunting and Fishing). It’s a guilty pleasure.
Anyway, the basis of the story is kind of silly – a girl engaged to her high school sweetheart discovers that he’s actually engaged to two other women – but there are some deep and moving subplots too. Sandra struggles with the right reasons for marrying Bucky, while discovering that her gay best friend, Paul, hasn’t been completely honest with her either.
August 19, 2024
Genre: Chick Lit and Romance
Set in the late 80’s New York City
A young woman in NYC working at a women’s magazine discovers that her fiancé is engaged to two other women. Her closest advisor is a gay man. It is an amusing story but no laugh out loud moments for me. She tries to cope with her expectations of being a suburban housewife and mother writing children’s stories being dashed. And there is the usual “will she” or “won’t she” inanity.
Set in the late 80’s New York City
A young woman in NYC working at a women’s magazine discovers that her fiancé is engaged to two other women. Her closest advisor is a gay man. It is an amusing story but no laugh out loud moments for me. She tries to cope with her expectations of being a suburban housewife and mother writing children’s stories being dashed. And there is the usual “will she” or “won’t she” inanity.
July 15, 2019
From the title I would it would be a completely different story than it was. The story does jump around but I was hooked. Once you find out Paul's storyline you just can't put the book down. Very random story, jumps all over the place so I can see how it got low ratings but once I finished the book I decided it was worth reading.
November 21, 2020
Simple yet fun. I love that it takes place in the 80’s, hence no cell phones. Allows for more introspective time, for both the good and the bad. Sandra was young and experiencing being in her 20’s in NYC. The betrayal isn’t the whole book just like she doesn’t allow herself to be only her relationship. It was an enjoyable book
January 16, 2022
This book needed a copy editor. To be fair, I picked up an advanced copy so maybe it was improved by the time it made it to print, but there were some glaring plot holes that I could not get past even for chick lit. It is a quick read and you won’t be too invested, so if you ever get on a flight or long train ride again this would be fine to pass the time.
June 28, 2024
Pretty cliche, not super well-written, mindless read. When Sandy finds out that her husband is dating two other women, she breaks contact from him and leans on her best friend, Paul. He is soon diagnosed with AIDS, which seemed so random and like the author was forcing something to happen. All the scenes of Sandy working at her job as a magazine editor were weird and not at all natural.
June 5, 2022
Do you love fatphobia and dashes of homophobia? Do you love when most of the book is “no way that will ever happen but okay?” Then this book is for you!
The second star is because we love a sexy writer with feelings.
The second star is because we love a sexy writer with feelings.
September 22, 2025
Not getting the hate for this book. As a Gen X I’ll say it gets the 80s, with the smoking and cocaine and answering machines. Also the plan to work until marriage- yeah that was still a thing. I liked that the main character started out as super shallow and woke up a bit. I found it entertaining.
March 26, 2019
I don't normally root against the "wronged" party in the relationship but Man, is it hard to root Sandra in this book.
April 6, 2019
It was okay, some parts okay others, I wondered, why finish!
March 7, 2020
Chick lit, entertaining fluff.
April 15, 2020
Surprisingly good for a chick-lit book!
September 28, 2020
2.5 - best part, the narrator.
November 9, 2020
Fun light read!
November 14, 2020
unfulfilling
April 24, 2021
I liked parts of this book, mostly Mark and Paul. Otherwise it was pretty forgettable. I enjoyed it more when it read it years ago.
Read
December 22, 2021This almost 20 y/o novel, which has now been probably been forgotten, came to me by way of a bookcrossing bookbox of audiobooks. Seeing that others on goodreads were not too impressed with it, I decided to put in my 2 cents worth.
Give this one a chance.
I was about halfway through it before being really moved or caring about the characters. Sandra Berlin, a slightly nerdy young magazine editor is engaged to her high school sweetheart, the decidedly Gentile and alleged Betsy Ross descendent Bucky Ross. Fairly early on, she learns that he has been stringing along at least two other girls and there is no salvaging the relationship, especially since their families have never really liked each other. So she begins navigating the 80s dating scene. Of course she is not prepared for this but speaking as someody who lived through the same era as a single woman, nobody really was.
When the subplot with her gay best friend Paul thickens, the story became one of redemption and forgiveness and Sandra's growth as a person , and gets past the chick-lit cliches.
Give this one a chance.
I was about halfway through it before being really moved or caring about the characters. Sandra Berlin, a slightly nerdy young magazine editor is engaged to her high school sweetheart, the decidedly Gentile and alleged Betsy Ross descendent Bucky Ross. Fairly early on, she learns that he has been stringing along at least two other girls and there is no salvaging the relationship, especially since their families have never really liked each other. So she begins navigating the 80s dating scene. Of course she is not prepared for this but speaking as someody who lived through the same era as a single woman, nobody really was.
When the subplot with her gay best friend Paul thickens, the story became one of redemption and forgiveness and Sandra's growth as a person , and gets past the chick-lit cliches.
May 27, 2022
This was a decently entertaining book. Nothing over the top.
May 13, 2023
#77 - 2023
Genre: Chick Lit
Genre: Chick Lit
December 30, 2020
There was so much going on in this book, but I loved it! Definitely more than just a rom com.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 109 reviews