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All that it Ever Meant
Family, grief, ghosts, and a mystery: this clever and compelling young adult novel heralds a masterful new voice from Zimbabwe.
Mati’s family is reeling from the death of Mati’s mother. Her Baba has drawn into himself, her sister Chichi is rebelling, and her young brother Tana is desperate for love and normalcy.
When Chichi pulls her worst stunt yet, Baba uproots the family from their home in England for an extended camping holiday in their native Zimbabwe. Along for the trip is Meticais, a fabulously attired gender-neutral spirit—or ghost? or imaginary friend?—who only Mati can see and converse with.
Guided by Meticais’s enigmatic advice and wisdom, Mati must come to terms with her grief and with the difficulty of living between two cultures, while the family must learn to forge their way in a world without their monumental mother.
Full of captivating characters and stunning plot twists, All That It Ever Meant delivers a nuanced and unforgettable story of grief, love, and family.
About the Author: Blessing Musariri is an award-winning author of short stories, children's stories, radio and screenplays, and contemporary adult fiction. Her work has also been published by the Guardian, Granta, and Poetry International.
Mati’s family is reeling from the death of Mati’s mother. Her Baba has drawn into himself, her sister Chichi is rebelling, and her young brother Tana is desperate for love and normalcy.
When Chichi pulls her worst stunt yet, Baba uproots the family from their home in England for an extended camping holiday in their native Zimbabwe. Along for the trip is Meticais, a fabulously attired gender-neutral spirit—or ghost? or imaginary friend?—who only Mati can see and converse with.
Guided by Meticais’s enigmatic advice and wisdom, Mati must come to terms with her grief and with the difficulty of living between two cultures, while the family must learn to forge their way in a world without their monumental mother.
Full of captivating characters and stunning plot twists, All That It Ever Meant delivers a nuanced and unforgettable story of grief, love, and family.
About the Author: Blessing Musariri is an award-winning author of short stories, children's stories, radio and screenplays, and contemporary adult fiction. Her work has also been published by the Guardian, Granta, and Poetry International.
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First published January 3, 2023
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 97 reviews
November 19, 2023
as the oldest sister to a middle sister and a younger brother, this book felt incredibly personal to me. i found the descriptions of both the sibling dynamic and the disconnect felt by those living in the diaspora to be painfully realistic.
Musariri constructed an introspective story that grappled with heavy themes, like grief and identity/belonging, all through the lens of a 14 year old. i don’t usually reach for YA books, but i think “all that it ever meant” may have single-handedly changed that for next year!
there were so many things i loved about the book but to name a few! i loved:
- Meticai pushing back against Mati’s version of the story
- their fathers gentle nature and his care in showing his children his country
- Mati’s description of what it’s like to be a child of immigrants - “inside our house is Zimbabwe and outside is England.”
- and most of all, every glimpse into Mati and Caroline’s friendship (which i savored even more by the end)
and if the gushing wasn’t enough to convince you to read it, as soon as i finished listening i was tempted to start all over again to piece together the clues i somehow missed on my first read through!
🎧 note on the audio: love that the narrator is also Zimbabwean - her voice acting was incredible!
Musariri constructed an introspective story that grappled with heavy themes, like grief and identity/belonging, all through the lens of a 14 year old. i don’t usually reach for YA books, but i think “all that it ever meant” may have single-handedly changed that for next year!
there were so many things i loved about the book but to name a few! i loved:
- Meticai pushing back against Mati’s version of the story
- their fathers gentle nature and his care in showing his children his country
- Mati’s description of what it’s like to be a child of immigrants - “inside our house is Zimbabwe and outside is England.”
- and most of all, every glimpse into Mati and Caroline’s friendship (which i savored even more by the end)
and if the gushing wasn’t enough to convince you to read it, as soon as i finished listening i was tempted to start all over again to piece together the clues i somehow missed on my first read through!
🎧 note on the audio: love that the narrator is also Zimbabwean - her voice acting was incredible!
May 21, 2024
Told through the perspective of Mati, it is a story of family love, loss and life lived between two cultures. Whilst dealing with the loss of her mother, Mati and her family travel from London to Zimbabwe with Mati’s gender neutral spirit, Meticais who guides her with their wisdom and advice.
For such a short book, this book really packs a lot in. It was really interesting that through the lens of a 14 year old girl, there were important conversations about culture, belonging, identity, loss and how to deal with it and the reality of being a child of immigrants.
I really like how we got to know the characters in this book, it was so cleverly done! I can’t really say more than that as it would spoil the book. I really liked Mati and Meticais characters as they were my favourites. I loved Mati’s way that she thinks and then articulates those thoughts throughout this book and the humour and perspective that Meticais provides. Mati’s thoughts are the kind that change people’s perspectives and make those people change their perceptions and look at things in a new light.
Although, I really enjoyed this book as a whole, I did guess some aspects to this book. I found the ending so emotional and it made me cry because despite the shortness of the book, I became fond of the characters.
⚠️ CWs: death, alcohol use, derogatory language, road traffic accident, grief; mentions panic attack, vomiting, animal death and racism ⚠️
For such a short book, this book really packs a lot in. It was really interesting that through the lens of a 14 year old girl, there were important conversations about culture, belonging, identity, loss and how to deal with it and the reality of being a child of immigrants.
I really like how we got to know the characters in this book, it was so cleverly done! I can’t really say more than that as it would spoil the book. I really liked Mati and Meticais characters as they were my favourites. I loved Mati’s way that she thinks and then articulates those thoughts throughout this book and the humour and perspective that Meticais provides. Mati’s thoughts are the kind that change people’s perspectives and make those people change their perceptions and look at things in a new light.
Although, I really enjoyed this book as a whole, I did guess some aspects to this book. I found the ending so emotional and it made me cry because despite the shortness of the book, I became fond of the characters.
⚠️ CWs: death, alcohol use, derogatory language, road traffic accident, grief; mentions panic attack, vomiting, animal death and racism ⚠️
May 2, 2025
I loved everything about this book. Listened to it from the library, but I will definitely be buying to keep it. there were so many things I enjoyed, the family, the siblings, the stories, the settings, parenting, being a child of an immigrant. I didn't read the blurb when I picked it, so I didn't realise it had a focus on grief and loss. It was told in a really fresh way, which made it feel lighter (I wouldn't usually read about grief/loss). I loved little Tana, and I loved that the family was heading back to Zimbabwe, and I honeymooned there, so it felt so warm to me. There were so many parts of this book that I thought I needed to use in my day to day life, e.g., the bird dying and Tana wanting to help, ChiChi and her boyfriends, etc. I didn't see the twist coming, and it broke my heart when it did. I could rave on about this book, but I'm so glad I just picked it randomly because I really enjoyed it. 5 stars.
September 19, 2023
Mati is the middle child. She has an older sister called Chichi and a live wire little brother called Tana. Together with their father, Baba, they are travelling overland to Zimbabwe to finish a journey that took a lifetime.
Also along for the ride is Meticais, and Mati has no idea who they really are because it seems no one else can see or hear them. As the journey unfolds, Mati tells Meticais a story. It twists and turns and sometimes slows right down, but she knows she has to finish it because if she doesn't, then who will?
Oh my, this is a beautiful story. I have to admit to finding Mati a little much to begin with. Her thought processes and observations made her seem older than her years, but as the story progressed, her view of the world and those in it became easier to understand. This is an empowering but heartbreaking tale with an ending I didn't foresee. I'm glad I didn't because that would have somehow diminished its message and made it less than it deserved to be.
I was able to read an advanced copy of this book thanks to NetGalley and the publishers, Head of Zeus, but the opinions expressed are my own. This is a beautiful book that deals with the subject of loss in an empathetic and dignified way. Highly recommended.
Also along for the ride is Meticais, and Mati has no idea who they really are because it seems no one else can see or hear them. As the journey unfolds, Mati tells Meticais a story. It twists and turns and sometimes slows right down, but she knows she has to finish it because if she doesn't, then who will?
Oh my, this is a beautiful story. I have to admit to finding Mati a little much to begin with. Her thought processes and observations made her seem older than her years, but as the story progressed, her view of the world and those in it became easier to understand. This is an empowering but heartbreaking tale with an ending I didn't foresee. I'm glad I didn't because that would have somehow diminished its message and made it less than it deserved to be.
I was able to read an advanced copy of this book thanks to NetGalley and the publishers, Head of Zeus, but the opinions expressed are my own. This is a beautiful book that deals with the subject of loss in an empathetic and dignified way. Highly recommended.
February 3, 2024
4.5*
A beautiful and tender story of family and grief. I didn't see those plot twists coming at all, such a punch to the heart 🧡 All the characters felt very real and I found myself loving the whole family immediately. I listened to the audiobook and the narration was excellent!!
A beautiful and tender story of family and grief. I didn't see those plot twists coming at all, such a punch to the heart 🧡 All the characters felt very real and I found myself loving the whole family immediately. I listened to the audiobook and the narration was excellent!!
January 19, 2025
Beautiful ending!
April 18, 2025
Read for Carnegie Mellon Awards
"We make things about what we want them to be because it's easy, and even when it's hard, we hold on to what we think we know because we don't know that we are superheroes."
"And the child? Shame for that child because the story would become mixed with other stories until the sky was the only sure thing. You can never know the whole story of everything, you take the pieces you've given and you fill in the rest."
"...knew that if she went around a corner, this time he was going to lose sight of her."
"..was the ten meticais was more than a penny"
"We make things about what we want them to be because it's easy, and even when it's hard, we hold on to what we think we know because we don't know that we are superheroes."
"And the child? Shame for that child because the story would become mixed with other stories until the sky was the only sure thing. You can never know the whole story of everything, you take the pieces you've given and you fill in the rest."
"...knew that if she went around a corner, this time he was going to lose sight of her."
"..was the ten meticais was more than a penny"
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 1, 2025
Really engaging read, really satisfying ending. I rarely come across a book which ends so well.
January 26, 2023
The pacing was a little slow, but the characters were so lovable that I was hooked. Watching this family come back together, and learning so many things about them through the eyes of someone so young yet so wise beyond her years drew me fully into this plot, and that twist at the end was the cherry on top that truly won me over. And the lewks that Meticais was serving throughout had me waiting on the edge of my seat for how they would slay again! Truly loved it, but I don’t have the patience to read through it again, unfortunately.
August 31, 2023
This was beautifully done. Musariri always gives characters that you form a bond with, as you understand what they are going through and how they are reacting to their circumstances. I loved the siblings, and their interactions are so relatable, the love, annoyance, grief, and fierce defence.
March 11, 2025
This really made me feel.
December 10, 2025
WSOY:n Palkittua nuortenkirjallisuutta maailmalta -sarja herätti mielenkiintoni heti. Zimbabwelaisen Blessing Musaririn Kaikki mitä kaipasimme on kolmas sarjassa julkaistu kirja; se on palkittu Children’s Africana Book Award -palkinnolla vuonna 2024. African Studies Associationin palkintoja jaetaan vuosittain parhaille Yhdysvalloissa ilmestyneille Afrikkaa käsitteleville kirjoille.
Tämä on perhetarina, jonka aiheena on surun ja menetyksen käsittely. Perheen äiti on kuollut. Jäljellä ovat isä, joka on tehnyt pitkän matkan Zimbabwen köyhistä oloista menestyneeksi lääkäriksi Englantiin, ja kolme lasta, Chichi, Mati ja Tana. Kirjan kertojana on keskimmäinen lapsi, teinityttö Mati. Isosisko Chichi kapinoi ja uhmaa isää, pikkuveli Tana kaipaa isän rakkautta ja tasaisen tavallista arkea.
Nyt isä yrittää saada uutta yhteyttä lapsiinsa ja on vienyt heidät matkalle kotimaahansa Zimbabween. Lapset ovat kasvaneet Englannissa ja vaikka vanhemmat ovat käyneet kotimaassaan säännöllisesti, lapsilla ei ole kuitenkaan yhteyttä juuriinsa. Šonaa he sentään osaavat puhua. Matkan kuvauksen yhteydessä kuvataan takaumien kautta tapahtumia Englannissa ja perheen hajoamista.
Tarinaa kertoo tosiaan Mati, joka on syrjäänvetäytyvä, hiljainen tarkkailija, joka toisaalta on taipuvainen pitkälliseen ja polveilevaan tarinointiin. Matin keskusteluseurana on Meticais, joka on jonkinlainen henkiolento tai mielikuvitusystävä. Meticais tulee ja menee mielensä mukaan, keskustelee nenäkkäästi ja pyrkii johdattelemaan Matia kohti isoja kysymyksiä: pahinta perhettä satuttanutta riitaa ja äidin kuolemaa.
Helene Bützowin suomennoksessa on hieman lipsumista ja epätasaisuutta, mutta enimmäkseen Matin nuorekas tyyli on kääntynyt suomeksi hyvin ja uskottavasti. Taitto ja valittu kirjasin on epätavallisen kepeä, mikä toimii kyllä, kunhan pääsee ylitse kirjan kummallisen näköisistä kysymysmerkeistä. Tarina pitää kyllä otteessaan, etenkin kun alkaa päästä kiinni siitä, miksi Meticais Matia ajaa kohti hakemiaan vastauksia. Kirjan loppu onkin nautinnollinen.
Suomessa tehdään erinomaista lasten- ja nuortenkirjallisuutta, mutta on erittäin arvokasta, että suomeksi saadaan myös hyviä käännöskirjoja muualtakin kuin Yhdysvalloista. Tähän asti Palkittua nuortenkirjallisuutta maailmalta on tarjoillut kiinnostavia kirjoja luettavaksi, toivottavasti sarjan taso jatkuu yhtä korkeana vastedeskin.
Tämä on perhetarina, jonka aiheena on surun ja menetyksen käsittely. Perheen äiti on kuollut. Jäljellä ovat isä, joka on tehnyt pitkän matkan Zimbabwen köyhistä oloista menestyneeksi lääkäriksi Englantiin, ja kolme lasta, Chichi, Mati ja Tana. Kirjan kertojana on keskimmäinen lapsi, teinityttö Mati. Isosisko Chichi kapinoi ja uhmaa isää, pikkuveli Tana kaipaa isän rakkautta ja tasaisen tavallista arkea.
Nyt isä yrittää saada uutta yhteyttä lapsiinsa ja on vienyt heidät matkalle kotimaahansa Zimbabween. Lapset ovat kasvaneet Englannissa ja vaikka vanhemmat ovat käyneet kotimaassaan säännöllisesti, lapsilla ei ole kuitenkaan yhteyttä juuriinsa. Šonaa he sentään osaavat puhua. Matkan kuvauksen yhteydessä kuvataan takaumien kautta tapahtumia Englannissa ja perheen hajoamista.
Tarinaa kertoo tosiaan Mati, joka on syrjäänvetäytyvä, hiljainen tarkkailija, joka toisaalta on taipuvainen pitkälliseen ja polveilevaan tarinointiin. Matin keskusteluseurana on Meticais, joka on jonkinlainen henkiolento tai mielikuvitusystävä. Meticais tulee ja menee mielensä mukaan, keskustelee nenäkkäästi ja pyrkii johdattelemaan Matia kohti isoja kysymyksiä: pahinta perhettä satuttanutta riitaa ja äidin kuolemaa.
Helene Bützowin suomennoksessa on hieman lipsumista ja epätasaisuutta, mutta enimmäkseen Matin nuorekas tyyli on kääntynyt suomeksi hyvin ja uskottavasti. Taitto ja valittu kirjasin on epätavallisen kepeä, mikä toimii kyllä, kunhan pääsee ylitse kirjan kummallisen näköisistä kysymysmerkeistä. Tarina pitää kyllä otteessaan, etenkin kun alkaa päästä kiinni siitä, miksi Meticais Matia ajaa kohti hakemiaan vastauksia. Kirjan loppu onkin nautinnollinen.
Suomessa tehdään erinomaista lasten- ja nuortenkirjallisuutta, mutta on erittäin arvokasta, että suomeksi saadaan myös hyviä käännöskirjoja muualtakin kuin Yhdysvalloista. Tähän asti Palkittua nuortenkirjallisuutta maailmalta on tarjoillut kiinnostavia kirjoja luettavaksi, toivottavasti sarjan taso jatkuu yhtä korkeana vastedeskin.
December 27, 2023
⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 / 3.5 stars
All That It Ever Meant is a story about a road trip the family goes on after their mother has died. During this road trip, Meticais appears to Mati and only she can see them.
I’ve won an ARC of this book during YALC earlier this month and was really intrigued by the synopsis and some of the lines I’d read. Coming out a little earlier this month, I decided to pick it up an read it.
The book is different from what I expected to be honest. While I mostly ready fantasy books, this book feels more like magical realism, having subtle hints of magical elements instead of the fantasy I’m used to. I actually really liked how it tied into the story, although it was a bit confusing until the reveal that made it all make sense.
The story isn’t really told in a linear way, as you know from the start that something big has happened, but you don��t really learn what exactly until much later in the book. It made it a bit confusing at times, but mind blowing when the reveal came in the end.
I did like the characters and especially the complicated relationship all of them had together. I think the familial bond between a parent and their children is depicted beautifully in this book. Both the good, the bad and the ugly are shown between the father and his three children. Seeing all of that made it very believable and real.
The true reveal really blew my mind and while it was rather predictable in hindsight, I didn’t see it coming until a little while before it was revealed, and it actually was very cleverly done in the writing. At the same time, due to the way it was written, I did feel a bit of a disconnect to the story, not being able to fully lose myself in it.
Overall, All That It Ever Meant does have a very powerful message about grief and how it can break someone and bring others together. A heart-breaking and powerful message was delivered, which only became clear at the very end of a somewhat confusing journey.
All That It Ever Meant is a story about a road trip the family goes on after their mother has died. During this road trip, Meticais appears to Mati and only she can see them.
“Just because something thinks one thing is right, doesn’t automatically make the other thing wrong, and just because something isn’t real for one person, it doesn’t mean it’s not real for someone else.”
I’ve won an ARC of this book during YALC earlier this month and was really intrigued by the synopsis and some of the lines I’d read. Coming out a little earlier this month, I decided to pick it up an read it.
The book is different from what I expected to be honest. While I mostly ready fantasy books, this book feels more like magical realism, having subtle hints of magical elements instead of the fantasy I’m used to. I actually really liked how it tied into the story, although it was a bit confusing until the reveal that made it all make sense.
The story isn’t really told in a linear way, as you know from the start that something big has happened, but you don��t really learn what exactly until much later in the book. It made it a bit confusing at times, but mind blowing when the reveal came in the end.
I did like the characters and especially the complicated relationship all of them had together. I think the familial bond between a parent and their children is depicted beautifully in this book. Both the good, the bad and the ugly are shown between the father and his three children. Seeing all of that made it very believable and real.
The true reveal really blew my mind and while it was rather predictable in hindsight, I didn’t see it coming until a little while before it was revealed, and it actually was very cleverly done in the writing. At the same time, due to the way it was written, I did feel a bit of a disconnect to the story, not being able to fully lose myself in it.
Overall, All That It Ever Meant does have a very powerful message about grief and how it can break someone and bring others together. A heart-breaking and powerful message was delivered, which only became clear at the very end of a somewhat confusing journey.
March 8, 2023
All That It Ever Meant is a complex story that really made me think and almost had a philosophical feel to it. Honestly, when asked to describe the book I was reading, I had to respond that I wasn't really sure, since it obviously had a deeper meaning that would take reading the whole book to completely understand. At the surface, it was a story about a father and his children on a trip to his homeland, Zimbabwe, several months after the mother died. It is obvious this is a family in mourning and trying to heal after a terrible tragedy.
Mati, the middle child in age (14), is the narrator, but it's almost as if she's a fly on the wall, describing what is happening to everyone else while being very passive about herself. Interweaved through the story of the family's trip in Zimbabwe, Mati seems to struggle with telling the story of her mother, past, and something that happened, bringing up bits and pieces out of order but avoiding the true core of what she's trying to say. Throughout she is joined by Meticais, someone who can only be seen/heard by her but seems to be a guide helping her process all of this, encouraging her to tell her story.
I'll admit that at the beginning of the book I felt like I was a bit lost in the swirling mind of a teen, jumping from one thought to the next. But the book kept me reading and thinking as the pieces of this puzzle slowly came together. There were multiple times where I had to stop to process paragraphs that felt especially enlightening, not just for this story but for life in general. Over the course of the story, I had a lot of my own theories about what the core of the story really was - there were lots of hints along the way, but it was hard to put together all the pieces in a way that made sense. In the end, the outcome wasn't at all what I expected, but it was like finding the missing piece to a puzzle that made it all come together.
This was truly a book you weren't meant to fully understand until the end, but when you get there, you see it for the masterpiece that it is.
I received a free copy of this book, but all opinions are completely my own. For more of my reviews, visit danitareads.com!
Mati, the middle child in age (14), is the narrator, but it's almost as if she's a fly on the wall, describing what is happening to everyone else while being very passive about herself. Interweaved through the story of the family's trip in Zimbabwe, Mati seems to struggle with telling the story of her mother, past, and something that happened, bringing up bits and pieces out of order but avoiding the true core of what she's trying to say. Throughout she is joined by Meticais, someone who can only be seen/heard by her but seems to be a guide helping her process all of this, encouraging her to tell her story.
I'll admit that at the beginning of the book I felt like I was a bit lost in the swirling mind of a teen, jumping from one thought to the next. But the book kept me reading and thinking as the pieces of this puzzle slowly came together. There were multiple times where I had to stop to process paragraphs that felt especially enlightening, not just for this story but for life in general. Over the course of the story, I had a lot of my own theories about what the core of the story really was - there were lots of hints along the way, but it was hard to put together all the pieces in a way that made sense. In the end, the outcome wasn't at all what I expected, but it was like finding the missing piece to a puzzle that made it all come together.
This was truly a book you weren't meant to fully understand until the end, but when you get there, you see it for the masterpiece that it is.
I received a free copy of this book, but all opinions are completely my own. For more of my reviews, visit danitareads.com!
April 13, 2023
HOLY PLOT TWIST BATMAN!!! I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING.
All That It Ever Meant is a short book. The chapters are quick, only a few pages long each, but the pace is very slow. Somehow, the frequent chapter breaks and the slow pacing really work well for this story. For almost the entire book, I felt like Mati was hesitant to tell us the full story. But eventually, as Mati continued to reveal piece after piece, I realized that it's not that's she's hesitant to tell the story, it's literally just how she is processing the grief her family is experiencing. It is stated multiple times throughout the book that Mati sees the world differently from other people; she thinks differently. (Maybe she's neurodivergent?) So, when you read this book, come into it knowing that you're going to have to be patient. And the wait is worth every Meticais.
Speaking of Meticais! They are nonbinary, fashionable, and enigmatic. They and Mati go back and forth a lot with "What?" and "You tell me!" But Meticais feels like they are there to help push Mati through processing the grief and telling the story without telling her how to go about it. And real talk, I am DYING to see an illustrated version of this book with all of Meticais' outfits included.
I think the final thing is really like to touch on is just how central family is to this story. It's really beautiful. Watching this family come back together after being shattered by grief is so real. Their father, a newly widowed Dad, is really trying to keep his family together while keeping himself from falling apart. His decision to take them to Zimbabwe, to reacquaint themselves with their roots, was a very solid decision.
This story has the kind of plot twist that will make you wake up your entire household as you scream at it. It will make you want to reread it just so you can see how you managed to somehow miss ALL the foreshadowing and hints. And then you'll sit back and finish reading Mati's story and think "Wow."
All That It Ever Meant is a short book. The chapters are quick, only a few pages long each, but the pace is very slow. Somehow, the frequent chapter breaks and the slow pacing really work well for this story. For almost the entire book, I felt like Mati was hesitant to tell us the full story. But eventually, as Mati continued to reveal piece after piece, I realized that it's not that's she's hesitant to tell the story, it's literally just how she is processing the grief her family is experiencing. It is stated multiple times throughout the book that Mati sees the world differently from other people; she thinks differently. (Maybe she's neurodivergent?) So, when you read this book, come into it knowing that you're going to have to be patient. And the wait is worth every Meticais.
Speaking of Meticais! They are nonbinary, fashionable, and enigmatic. They and Mati go back and forth a lot with "What?" and "You tell me!" But Meticais feels like they are there to help push Mati through processing the grief and telling the story without telling her how to go about it. And real talk, I am DYING to see an illustrated version of this book with all of Meticais' outfits included.
I think the final thing is really like to touch on is just how central family is to this story. It's really beautiful. Watching this family come back together after being shattered by grief is so real. Their father, a newly widowed Dad, is really trying to keep his family together while keeping himself from falling apart. His decision to take them to Zimbabwe, to reacquaint themselves with their roots, was a very solid decision.
This story has the kind of plot twist that will make you wake up your entire household as you scream at it. It will make you want to reread it just so you can see how you managed to somehow miss ALL the foreshadowing and hints. And then you'll sit back and finish reading Mati's story and think "Wow."
April 27, 2024
All That it Ever Meant is slow-paced, particularly at the start, but it builds into a deeply moving portrait of a grieving family.
Mati, the narrator, is a middle child and a storyteller. Her beloved mother died some months ago, and her family have of course been badly affected by it. Her elder sister, Chichi, is rebelling and seems to only care aobut herself; her father, Baba, doesn't know how to deal with Chichi, and Mati and her younger brother Tana are stood at the side watching. Baba decides that a family trip to Zimbabwe is needed and hires a camper van for this purpose (Chichi isn't impressed). As they travel, the family slowly start to come together again.
Mati also has a mystery companion, Meticais, who may be a ghost, a spirit, or an imaginary friend. She is reluctant at first to talk about what happens with her mother, so Meticais is there to prompt her and encourage her to complete the narrative. I found Meticais' interruptions frustrating and repetitive at first, but I think that's deliberate, because that's also how Mati experiences them. And as she grows to accept Meticais over time, their interactions change.
Mati actually reminded me a little of the narrator, Lucy Snowe from Vilette (I'm listening to the audiobook at the moment), in that they both prefer to relate what other people are doing and saying to telling their own story, albeit for totally different reasons. She's a thoughtful and reflective child, and I enjoyed seeing the world from her perspective.
All That it Ever Meant deals with grief beautifully, with all the characters responding to their loss and to each other in believable ways. You grow to feel so deeply for each of them. The book is marketed as YA, but I think everyone should consider it – it's a long time since I read something as touching, and some scenes and ideas will stay with me.
March 31, 2024
4.75*
Wow this book caught me unawares!
I was looking for a new audiobook to round off my reading for this month and saw it was a fairly short listen and by a black author about black characters; since I am trying to diversify my reading, this seemed perfect. I had read a little of the blurb but not much because I will happily try so many different books.
Upon starting the book and realising the plot rotated very heavily around the death of the mum, I was immediately touched. Reading this book at a particularly emotional and grieving week for me made it all the more poignant.
The building of the characters and the family dynamic was wonderful, the introduction of the mysterious Meticais was intriguing and wonderful to move the story along. I also loved that they were outwith gender and used they/them pronouns. What a wonderful way to normalise that use of pronouns outside of an explicitly LGBTQ+ book.
I loved the way the book explained alternative names so it was accessible for everyone, regardless of culture, though I'm sure many people will read it and relate and not need the explanation.
The end had me sobbing (maybe letting my personal life seep in there somewhat) and I thought it was beautifully written.
I will definitely be looking for more from Blessing Musariri.
My only issue was that in the audio version, some of the words were mispronounced or read in a way that didn't feel right. Like saying E.T.C. for etc (etcetera) or alias being pronounced ah-lie-us. Though this may be a culture difference of pronunciations and I'm just judging that based on the voice artist sounding English.
Borrowed through my local library on the Libby app, listened on 1.35x speed.
Wow this book caught me unawares!
I was looking for a new audiobook to round off my reading for this month and saw it was a fairly short listen and by a black author about black characters; since I am trying to diversify my reading, this seemed perfect. I had read a little of the blurb but not much because I will happily try so many different books.
Upon starting the book and realising the plot rotated very heavily around the death of the mum, I was immediately touched. Reading this book at a particularly emotional and grieving week for me made it all the more poignant.
The building of the characters and the family dynamic was wonderful, the introduction of the mysterious Meticais was intriguing and wonderful to move the story along. I also loved that they were outwith gender and used they/them pronouns. What a wonderful way to normalise that use of pronouns outside of an explicitly LGBTQ+ book.
I loved the way the book explained alternative names so it was accessible for everyone, regardless of culture, though I'm sure many people will read it and relate and not need the explanation.
The end had me sobbing (maybe letting my personal life seep in there somewhat) and I thought it was beautifully written.
I will definitely be looking for more from Blessing Musariri.
My only issue was that in the audio version, some of the words were mispronounced or read in a way that didn't feel right. Like saying E.T.C. for etc (etcetera) or alias being pronounced ah-lie-us. Though this may be a culture difference of pronunciations and I'm just judging that based on the voice artist sounding English.
Borrowed through my local library on the Libby app, listened on 1.35x speed.
August 22, 2023
At its essence, this book is about processing loss, and learning how to live meaningfully afterwards. And what a process that is...
For any child, regardless of the nature of their relationship, the loss of a parent is invariably a harrowing experience. For Mati and her two siblings, the loss of the larger-than-life personality that was their mother remains a loss that is brutally felt, many months after the event.
Mati's younger brother, Tana, is desperate for things to become normal again. Her older sister, Chichi, is reacting to what happened by acting out - behaviour that leads their father to take the decision to go home to Zimbabwe for some time, in an attempt to re-establish some degree of stability to their family life.
As the middle child, Mati seems to be observing the actions of the others rather than taking action herself. In this process, she is accompanied by the non-binary spirit of Meticais, who is of Zimbabwean origin but is only visible to Mati.
The book is not long, but it is quite slow going, perhaps reflecting also the difficulty of the characters in getting through the days of this phase of their lives. Grief is exhausting, and it processing it takes time - even when you can bear to do the actual processing rather than seeking refuge in denial!
This is an interesting book, and it has a lot to say - about life, emotions, family dynamics and (multi)cultural identities. There is also a major twist at the end of the book, which is unexpected. Overall, it's a book worth reading if you have some degree of patience as a reader.
For any child, regardless of the nature of their relationship, the loss of a parent is invariably a harrowing experience. For Mati and her two siblings, the loss of the larger-than-life personality that was their mother remains a loss that is brutally felt, many months after the event.
Mati's younger brother, Tana, is desperate for things to become normal again. Her older sister, Chichi, is reacting to what happened by acting out - behaviour that leads their father to take the decision to go home to Zimbabwe for some time, in an attempt to re-establish some degree of stability to their family life.
As the middle child, Mati seems to be observing the actions of the others rather than taking action herself. In this process, she is accompanied by the non-binary spirit of Meticais, who is of Zimbabwean origin but is only visible to Mati.
The book is not long, but it is quite slow going, perhaps reflecting also the difficulty of the characters in getting through the days of this phase of their lives. Grief is exhausting, and it processing it takes time - even when you can bear to do the actual processing rather than seeking refuge in denial!
This is an interesting book, and it has a lot to say - about life, emotions, family dynamics and (multi)cultural identities. There is also a major twist at the end of the book, which is unexpected. Overall, it's a book worth reading if you have some degree of patience as a reader.
January 14, 2023
All That It Ever Meant is a stunning and impactful story that will have readers thinking about it for a long time.
The story follows Mati and her family through the live altering change of a mother’s death and the lasting impact, emotional coping methods, loss, and beginning of the healing process. Each character deals with the loss in a different way and this is not an easy story so it is not all positive but it is brilliant and beautiful. The ending is positive and the journey to get there is as well.
The book structure is what really brought this story to life and to feelings for me. “Some stories can’t be ‘made quick’…” The short chapters, the almost reluctance to tell the story, the grief, and heart, and feelings, and the internal processing, in each chosen word… the structure really mimics the feelings and thoughts that Mati has and allows the reader to be right in the moment, emotions and all, with her. (While the book is on the shorter side (176 pages) it is so well written and absorbs the readers into a heartfelt and emotional story the book feels like it is ten times as long (in the best of ways)).
This is a story of grief but it is also a story of family and heart and culture and life and death and the beauty in it all. I was and still am blown away at this impactful work and HIGHLY recommend this to any reader who is looking for a brilliant, elegant, inspirational and poignant read.
All the stars!
The story follows Mati and her family through the live altering change of a mother’s death and the lasting impact, emotional coping methods, loss, and beginning of the healing process. Each character deals with the loss in a different way and this is not an easy story so it is not all positive but it is brilliant and beautiful. The ending is positive and the journey to get there is as well.
The book structure is what really brought this story to life and to feelings for me. “Some stories can’t be ‘made quick’…” The short chapters, the almost reluctance to tell the story, the grief, and heart, and feelings, and the internal processing, in each chosen word… the structure really mimics the feelings and thoughts that Mati has and allows the reader to be right in the moment, emotions and all, with her. (While the book is on the shorter side (176 pages) it is so well written and absorbs the readers into a heartfelt and emotional story the book feels like it is ten times as long (in the best of ways)).
This is a story of grief but it is also a story of family and heart and culture and life and death and the beauty in it all. I was and still am blown away at this impactful work and HIGHLY recommend this to any reader who is looking for a brilliant, elegant, inspirational and poignant read.
All the stars!
November 30, 2023
A book that I felt connected too from page one!
First can we take a moment for this gorgeous cover. I was originally drawn to this book because elif its bright colours and beautiful art work but I must say this is so much more than a pretty cover. This is a book filled with heart that will keep you engaged in the story from the start.
As the eldest sibling in my family this book resinated with me. The sibling and family dynamic really makes you feel seen especially if you're like me and were constantly surrounded by your brothers and sisters growing up. I think all the charters are so relatable that you would struggle to read this book and not feel connected to someone.
I really enjoyed how this book was narrated to us through the eyes of a 14 year old girl who seems like she's always on the outskirts of the scenes revolving around her. This was such an easy read to immerse myself in from how seamlessly the story flowed to the interesting characters and topics you see through out. This book is almost like a mystery, while you're reading you're getting bits and pieces that you slowly put together until you get towards the end and you have a bigger picture and I found this so fun and what mainly kept me entertained while devouring this book.
Definitely a book I will be recommending to everyone!
First can we take a moment for this gorgeous cover. I was originally drawn to this book because elif its bright colours and beautiful art work but I must say this is so much more than a pretty cover. This is a book filled with heart that will keep you engaged in the story from the start.
As the eldest sibling in my family this book resinated with me. The sibling and family dynamic really makes you feel seen especially if you're like me and were constantly surrounded by your brothers and sisters growing up. I think all the charters are so relatable that you would struggle to read this book and not feel connected to someone.
I really enjoyed how this book was narrated to us through the eyes of a 14 year old girl who seems like she's always on the outskirts of the scenes revolving around her. This was such an easy read to immerse myself in from how seamlessly the story flowed to the interesting characters and topics you see through out. This book is almost like a mystery, while you're reading you're getting bits and pieces that you slowly put together until you get towards the end and you have a bigger picture and I found this so fun and what mainly kept me entertained while devouring this book.
Definitely a book I will be recommending to everyone!
March 26, 2025
On this year’s Yoto Carnegie shortlist. This is a story of a road trip, the story of a family coming to terms with loss and a story about culture and belonging. Travelling from England Baba is taking his family to visit his Zimbabwean family following the death of his wife. Mati, the middle child, finds that she can see Meticais and none of the others - her father, her sister or her kid brother - can. Metacais is a sort of gender neutral entity who dresses flamboyantly every time they appear. They encourage Mati to tell the story of her mother, of her family as - we learn - Mati likes to tell stories and they are never short. The family bond between the parents and the siblings is revealed through Mati’s telling and also the love that the parents have for each other. The conversations that Chichi and Baba have after she sneaks out - we see a father struggling with a teenage daughter and a father full of love and compassion. The characters are wonderfully drawn and through Mati’s stories we get to know them all - warts and all. I liked the way that everything is seen through a 14 year old’s eyes, and how with Metacais’ wisdom she can make sense of life and loss. Brought tears to my eyes at the end.
November 18, 2023
I’ve been thinking for a few days now on how to review this book: This is a story that starts slowly, confusing, tragic. It’s about loss and family bonds, where we follow the main character Mati through this road trip across Zimbabwe. Blessing’s writing is captivating, I couldn’t stop reading and wanting to find out what happen - what happen to her mum, why was her dad so cross with Chichi, their family dynamic and where Mati fitted in.
I loved seeing this immigrant family, the hardships, the missing home (or as we say in Portuguese “saudade” which is a word I found perfect to describe her mum longing and unfortunately, so hard to translate, it’s more than missing), the lost of identity and how we adapt to new environments.
I’m trying really hard to not spoil anything so this book can also hit you in a way that you’ll know, in your heart, how powerful it is. This is definitely a coming-of-age book that will surprise you so unexpectedly, that you’ll reach the end knowing you fell in love with it. And as Mati’s Baba said ‘mwana’ngu, I love a good story but I don’t have time for a long one, so make it short’.
I loved seeing this immigrant family, the hardships, the missing home (or as we say in Portuguese “saudade” which is a word I found perfect to describe her mum longing and unfortunately, so hard to translate, it’s more than missing), the lost of identity and how we adapt to new environments.
I’m trying really hard to not spoil anything so this book can also hit you in a way that you’ll know, in your heart, how powerful it is. This is definitely a coming-of-age book that will surprise you so unexpectedly, that you’ll reach the end knowing you fell in love with it. And as Mati’s Baba said ‘mwana’ngu, I love a good story but I don’t have time for a long one, so make it short’.
January 23, 2023
All That It Ever Meant by Blessing Musariri is a remarkable book that explores the connection between love and grief in a beautifully poetic story. The authors storytelling style is engrossing with the succinct chapters and emphasis on relationships. The locales of England and Zimbabwe are both richly descriptive and draw you deep into the tale. Mati's relationship with her mom, dad, sister, and brother is front and center as we see into her feelings and recollections of different parts of their lives together. She is processing the grief of losing her mother and the memories of her family before the accident. She shows glimpses of each person's character and how they work together as a family unit in her musings and it helps to gently move the reader to a place of understanding about the things that Mati holds dear. I loved how imaginative and descriptive this character was especially when she started talking with the Meticais. This spirit creature takes many forms and is like a sassy version of a ghost or conscience. They show up at seemingly random times and ask probing questions that encourage Mati to reminisce about her family. I enjoyed reading about them and their different styles and dress each time they appeared. The end of the book was phenomenal and made me go back and look at a few chapters differently. I really enjoyed this book and recommend it highly to anyone who enjoys oratory storytelling with a bit of the supernatural sprinkled in.
December 3, 2024
Listened to this as an audiobook and wow it was mysterious, beautiful, fun and heart breaking all in one. This is aimed at younger readers but is beautiful! I enjoyed it alot.
Mati’s family is reeling from the death of Mati’s mother. Her Baba has drawn into himself, her sister Chichi is rebelling, and her young brother Tana is desperate for love and normalcy. Baba uproots the family from their home in England for an extended camping holiday in their native Zimbabwe. Along for the trip is Meticais, a fabulously attired gender-neutral spirit or ghost? or imaginary friend?—who only Mati can see and converse with. Guided by Meticais’s enigmatic advice and wisdom, Mati must come to terms with her grief and with the difficulty of living between two cultures, while the family must learn to forge their way in a world without their monumental mother.
Mati’s family is reeling from the death of Mati’s mother. Her Baba has drawn into himself, her sister Chichi is rebelling, and her young brother Tana is desperate for love and normalcy. Baba uproots the family from their home in England for an extended camping holiday in their native Zimbabwe. Along for the trip is Meticais, a fabulously attired gender-neutral spirit or ghost? or imaginary friend?—who only Mati can see and converse with. Guided by Meticais’s enigmatic advice and wisdom, Mati must come to terms with her grief and with the difficulty of living between two cultures, while the family must learn to forge their way in a world without their monumental mother.
March 28, 2025
I liked the twist and the cultural capital students can gain from reading a book with protagonists of African heritage, set in Zimbabwe for a large part of the book.
But I found the format difficult to engage with. Listening to the audiobook might have exacerbated it but it was hard to tell when it switched from the present to past events. I found parts of the book quite boring because it was just telling us details of what the characters did that day. I am also unsure of the age group the book was written for. Because of what the older sister gets up to, there is mention of topics that are definitely for older readers. But the main character often seems younger than her fourteen years and a lot of the time the book seems to be for a younger audience.
Not for me but I am sure plenty of others will enjoy it.
But I found the format difficult to engage with. Listening to the audiobook might have exacerbated it but it was hard to tell when it switched from the present to past events. I found parts of the book quite boring because it was just telling us details of what the characters did that day. I am also unsure of the age group the book was written for. Because of what the older sister gets up to, there is mention of topics that are definitely for older readers. But the main character often seems younger than her fourteen years and a lot of the time the book seems to be for a younger audience.
Not for me but I am sure plenty of others will enjoy it.
August 18, 2023
This is a beautiful book but what I found a bit challenging is the fact that it seems like the book is geared toward a middle grade audience yet the language (strong expletives) makes it one that would fit better in a YA collection- yet I don't think it has that much YA appeal. I love the Zimbabwean setting and all the places that Mati and her father and sibling go to following the death of her mother: Matopos, Hwange, Vic Falls, Lake Kariba. The differences that Mati notes between England and Zimbabwe are ones that resonate with me and many of my students. The twist toward the end was one that didn't totally work for me. Still, I wish I had more books along this line for my library collection and look forward to reading more books by Msariri.
January 21, 2024
Some books are wonderfully unexpected and that's just what #allthatitevermeant was like for me.
This is a story about family, about loss and all of the changes and feelings that come with such tragedies.
#blessingmusariri writes with such a passion. The descriptions used made me see the emotions in my mind. It was like I could imagine the colours that went with the reactions and responses.
Meaningful.
Thought provoking.
The ending just got me. I can admit with ease that I cried a little. It was sad, yet necessary. I was shown that although death brings grief, it also brings hope, a chance for things that are broken to somehow become more whole again.
It was beautifully heartbreaking.
This is a story about family, about loss and all of the changes and feelings that come with such tragedies.
#blessingmusariri writes with such a passion. The descriptions used made me see the emotions in my mind. It was like I could imagine the colours that went with the reactions and responses.
Meaningful.
Thought provoking.
The ending just got me. I can admit with ease that I cried a little. It was sad, yet necessary. I was shown that although death brings grief, it also brings hope, a chance for things that are broken to somehow become more whole again.
It was beautifully heartbreaking.
February 2, 2023
I don't know how to feel about All That It Ever Meant.
The story is about a family dealing with the death of their mother, told from the POV of the middle child Mati. It is a very introspective story due to that. While the story's present moves forward, there isn't much action in these sections. Instead, most of the story's action is delegated to flashbacks. Really, at least half the novel is flashbacks.
The biggest hurdle I dealt with the story is at the beginning. The switch from the present to flashback is not clean or choreographed. It can be jarring and disorienting. It eventually grew on me and works as more of the story came forward, but I know this will be something that can make or break the novel for people.
Overall, I related a lot to Mati and her younger brother. This was not a book I went in with any expectations, and while my thoughts and feelings are still juggling around, a part of me did leave with a personal connection that lingers.
The story is about a family dealing with the death of their mother, told from the POV of the middle child Mati. It is a very introspective story due to that. While the story's present moves forward, there isn't much action in these sections. Instead, most of the story's action is delegated to flashbacks. Really, at least half the novel is flashbacks.
The biggest hurdle I dealt with the story is at the beginning. The switch from the present to flashback is not clean or choreographed. It can be jarring and disorienting. It eventually grew on me and works as more of the story came forward, but I know this will be something that can make or break the novel for people.
Overall, I related a lot to Mati and her younger brother. This was not a book I went in with any expectations, and while my thoughts and feelings are still juggling around, a part of me did leave with a personal connection that lingers.
November 3, 2023
I was given an advanced reader copy of this story in return for an honest review.
This story is about family and what happens when it is shattered due to the loss of its center. In this story it's the mother who is lost due to illness and she leaves behind a three children and her partner.
No one really knows how to talk about their grief how to explain it. It means different things to each of them. It's made even worse when they find themselves caught between two cultures and customs.
They have to find a way to deal with each other and the grief of loss. It's beautiful story with family, love and loss at its heart.
This story is about family and what happens when it is shattered due to the loss of its center. In this story it's the mother who is lost due to illness and she leaves behind a three children and her partner.
No one really knows how to talk about their grief how to explain it. It means different things to each of them. It's made even worse when they find themselves caught between two cultures and customs.
They have to find a way to deal with each other and the grief of loss. It's beautiful story with family, love and loss at its heart.
May 24, 2024
I had some trouble with this book. I don't really know how I felt about it. It was really slow paced and I kept wondering what the point of having this mystical person with her or why the main character was so introspective and never really did anything. Of course, that's all kind of answered by the end, but for the first 25/28 chapters, I was kind of just trudging along.
I really liked the characters. Mati's siblings had very fun and unique personalities and the way they and Baba interacted was really interesting as they come together in their grief.
I really liked the characters. Mati's siblings had very fun and unique personalities and the way they and Baba interacted was really interesting as they come together in their grief.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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