Mamele

by Gemma Reeves

A stylish, searing drama about the complicated love between mothers and daughters, the indelible impact of estrangement – and one woman fiercely coming into her own.

–––
‘When my mother washed my hair she crooned, mamele, mamele, into my ear. Little mother, meaning little daughter, meaning you’re a good girl, Edie.’

Edie lives in a crumbling country house in Broadstairs with her partner Joanna. They have spent over a decade together since the death of Harry, the third member of their polyamorous marriage. It’s a quiet, comfortable existence – but conversations about the mother who abandoned her have recently awoken in Edie feelings she long thought buried.

As Edie’s memories unspool – childhood days among the gossiping housewives of the mansion block, intense adolescent love affairs, clandestine nights in London clubs – she is forced to confront her ghosts and piece together the various parts of herself, as a queer woman and the daughter of a Jewish émigré. Now in her early fifties, she wonders whether there is still time to become the woman she once yearned to be.

In Mamele, Gemma Reeves writes with extraordinary deftness about unconventional families, cultural inheritance and separation, loneliness and aching desire.

Genres: LGBT, Queer, Contemporary, Fiction, Audiobook, Mental Health, Literary Fiction

288 pages, Hardcover

Published August 1, 2024

Reviews

[leah · Rating 3 out of 5]

mamele follows 50-something edie, who is reflecting on her fraught relationship with her mother throughout her childhood, and how she navigated her queerness and the complexities of desire when she was younger, which has ultimately left her feeling trapped in her current situation. it’s a short and quick read, i read it in one evening! i’d recommend if you like books about complex mother-daughter relationships.

[Emily Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

This wasn’t the book I thought it would be, but I’m really not mad about it.

It follows Edie, a queer Jewish woman, as she reflects on her life and particularly the relationships she has with other women. The complex relationship between Edie and her mother was the centre of the story, but I actually found the relationship between Edie and her sister to be the most compelling.

The conversations, thoughts and relationships felt very human, and it was almost a study of queerness, pleasure, and grief through flashbacks and experiences. It was pretty thin in terms of plot, but as it was a short book and more of a character study, that wasn’t a dealbreaker for me.

Structurally it was pretty simplistic, and some of the themes felt like they came out of nowhere, but I felt a lot of emotion while reading this, and that’s the point, right?

Thank you to NetGalley and Harper Collins for giving me the opportunity to read this!

[Eden Gatsby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mamele is a raw, tender and honest look at female relationships of all different kinds and one woman coming into her own, finding her own way in the world and coming to terms with her past. Our queer main character seems surrounded by fraught and uncertain relationships which mirrors how she feels about her life. Following her journey in tackling these relationships head on and deciding how she wants to move through the world was so charming and earnest.

[Lieke Polak · Rating 4 out of 5]

Het luisterboek (op Fluister via de Volkskrant) weer eens een kans gegeven en dit prachtige en eigenzinnige verhaal leende zich daar goed voor

[Anya Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reflections on a difficult mother, relatable. This was a beautifully written novel centred on Edie who is contemplating her life weaved in with her current situation living in a rambling country manor with her widowed partner and their dogs. Her childhood is marred by the impact of her changeable and deeply unhappy mother, haunted by her own past as a displaced Jewish immigrant now living in London. As she recalls her demanding childhood, Edie is able to uncomfortably unveil the reality of her life as a middle aged woman. Food is used as a tool for Edie to centre herself within her own identity which she often feels untethered from, hearty Spanish food cooked by her father, traditional Jewish food passed down by her mother, and the food she now cooks for her upper-class English family.

This is a book about family, desire, and independence. The dysfunctions families pass down through generations, the traumas parents (often) unknowingly inflict upon their children, and freedom in personal truth.

Thank you to NetGalley and the Publisher for the ARC.

[Mari · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book was incredibly close to the bone for me. It's about a difficult mother-daughter relationship from the daughter's point of view. We can try to understand other people's motives, we can listen and comprehend, but what remains are the injuries we ourselves have suffered and then it's a question of weighing up internally: can I forgive? Are certain actions excusable? And if not, how can I move on without breaking and hurting others in the process? This story can certainly be read in many different ways, which is what makes it so special imo. For me it is a story of healing, of letting go of shadows and the internalized voice of the mother, of acknowledging one's own story and allowing help, of trust and of the small and big moments that span a life.

For me, Edie was a wonderful protagonist, a 50-something adult woman who looks back on her life, who reflects and makes mistakes, who breaks and yet never shatters in the process, and who keeps rising up against the tide. I want more stories with older protagonists, please, because life is just more than what we read in YA and NY books and because I think it's important to see that change can happen at any point in life. Definitely going to be one of my highlights of the year!

What it is about:

„With my mother and me, it all comes down to this: I have not wanted to understand her and she has not wanted to understand me.“

This is how Edie begins her story about her childhood, youth and the present, which, although her mother kicked her out when she was 16, still carries her voice. Loud and unyielding, bitter and accusing.

„I would like to tell my mother how I enjoy the solitude […] I hear her sharp laugh. Who are you trying to convince, Edie?“

Edie tells a harsh story. Neglected as a child and exposed to the whims of a mother that are impenetrable and incomprehensible for a child and even more difficult to navigate. A youth as a lesbian and a Jew and finally as an outcast. She constantly seeks her mother's closeness and approval, but she only pushes her and all others away again and again, until Edie's father finally leaves them and Edie is alone with her mother and their depression. This is followed by descriptions of moments when Edie becomes the mother for her mother and of helplessness on both sides. We learn about her mother's reasons in small episodes in the margins, from the neighbor, Vera. There are always flashes of historical cornerstones that make the reader and Edie feel that there is a reason for her behavior and it is not trivial, but at the same time there is also Edie's story and it is just as tragic.

A contrast to the mentally hostile moments between Edie, her identity, her wishes and her mother are the phone calls with her sister, which moved me deeply with their kindness and warmth. Both have kept in touch over the years, Edie's sister maintains this connection and for me is a true anchor in the jagged life that Edie has built for herself. The moments between the two at the end of the book healed a lot for me that was broken in their lives with this mother. Edie is in some ways just as crippled as her mother and reproduces patterns with which she keeps herself and those around her at a distance. Nothing is really close, nothing really belongs to her, everything is as fleeting as her mother's affection.

I requested the book from NetGalley in June and my request was kindly confirmed. This review is my honest opinion.

[Kerry Edwards · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5⭐️ Gorgeously written. I loved Edie, a 50 something queer, Jewish butch. I loved escaping into her world. The perfect ending.

[Hemmie Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the story of Edie, who lives with her partner, Joanne, after Harry, the third partner in this entwined relationship, died ten years ago. It is an unbalanced relationship, but Edie has known no other way of living. She hasn't seen or spoken to her mother for thirty years, although she does talk to her sister on the phone weekly.
Through sitting as a model for her stepdaughter, and spending time with her sister sorting through her mother's flat after her recent death, Edie begins to evaluate her life.
This is a beautifully written novel, in first-person, present tense (my favourite to read!), and Edie's character stayed with me after finishing the novel. The cover is eye-catching, too!

[Deece de Paor · Rating 3 out of 5]

This promised more than it delivered

[Eloise Stroud · Rating 4 out of 5]

Edie is living with her partner Joanna in her county house and their many dogs. It has been this way since Harry, the third member of their relationship passed away a few years ago. Edie is used to this life and quite happy with it. She has not seen or spoken to her mother in around 30 years, since at the age of 16, her mother found out Edie was a lesbian and kicked her out of the home.
Somewhat of a recluse, Edit speaks to her sister daily on the phone but has not seen her in person for several years now. These conversations have recently led to Edie reflecting on her relationship with her mother, those early memories which she has not thought about for so long. Told between Edie in the present day in her 50s and her youth, we see how Edie's life has taken some interest roads to lead her to the arguably trapped position she has found herself in.

Gemma Reeves written once again is beautiful, captivating and emotionally provoking. I found myself quickly captivated by the sad life Edie has experienced and as a relatively new mother to a little girl myself, I found this book particularly impactful. Edit has never really know uncomplicated love and I so desperately wanted someone to just accept her how she is, tell her that there is nothing wrong with her sexuality and just to generally think more of herself and want more for herself.

A relatively short novel, but one that hit all the right notes for me. I will think about Edie for a long time and hope that she is happy in whatever she is currently doing in her fictional life.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mamele by Gemma Reeves is a deeply moving novel exploring themes of rejection, acceptance, and identity. The protagonist, Edie, navigates a life marked by her mother's emotional absence and the complexities of her relationships.
Her mother, Zelda, a Jewish émigré haunted by WWII, leaves Edie feeling perpetually rejected. Edie's childhood is spent yearning for her mother's love, but Zelda is either distant, dismissive, or catatonic. Estranged from Zelda as a teenager, Edie remains haunted by her presence throughout her life.
The core mother-daughter story is unsettling, touching on family trauma, depression, and the desire for maternal closeness.
Edie's life of mute acceptance, especially in her relationship with the wealthy and glamorous Joanna, highlights her struggle for affection. You will find yourself rooting for Edie, desperately wanting her to find happiness and independence.
The absence of forgiveness in Edie's case is particularly powerful. Reflections on her early memories and her relationships reveal the intricate and painful roads that have led her to her current position. Reeves' writing is captivating and emotionally provocative, alternating between past and present to add depth as Edie revisits her trauma and key life moments.
Mamele is a raw, tender, and honest examination of female relationships and one woman's journey to find her place in the world. The novel's portrayal of generational trauma, queerness, and the quest for self-acceptance is powerful and thought-provoking. Edie's heart-wrenching experience of never knowing uncomplicated love makes Mamele a triumph, enriched with complex characters and a lasting, powerful message. This heartbreaking, brilliant story lingers long after the final page.
Special mention to Kiki as I absolutely adored her.
Thanks so much to Borough Press for the proof.

[Haxxunne · Rating 3 out of 5]

An intriguing and unsettling novel of love, desire and personal history

With parallel narratives following protagonist Edie in her middle-age present, and in her past childhood and new adulthood, Mamele explores how the past—both known and secret—affects the present, holding tight on the present and shutting down the future. A mixed race daughter of a Jewish mother and a Spanish father, young Edie loves her mother very much, even though her mother is difficult to love and impossible to really know. In 1999, middle-aged Edie looks back on more than thirty years estranged from her mother, surrounded by an unusual found family where nothing is certain. In both timelines, Edie unapologetically lives her queer life, but always with her mother constantly in her rearview mirror, as notable for her absence as her presence.

Not a book that I would usually have picked up, I found this intriguing and unsettling in equal parts. Edie’s life in her present was slightly less realistic given the unusual family she has found for herself, but that might have been in comparison to the much stronger past narrative with the hidden lives of Jewish refugees in post-war Britain. At the heart of the book are relationships between women, although the one positive comparator to Edie’s other relationships comes so late that the novel remains a tense and awkward read throughout.

Three tense stars.

[Zoe Hopkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you like complex mother daughter relationships Mamele is definitely a story you will enjoy. Our main character Edie was kicked out by her mother at 16 when she found out Edie was a lesbian, she is in a relationship with a woman who won’t acknowledge herself or Edie’s sexuality. Oh, and she’s also the third member of her and her husband’s polyamorous relationship. Mamele definitely makes you feel uneasy in parts, and I questioned the appropriateness of most of Edie’s relationships within the book. She has never experienced a loving, uncomplicated relationship and it’s weird to say but Gemma Reeves writing style felt calm but hard hitting at the same time. It was easy to see why Edie has confusion when it came to relationships as she starts to relive experiences with her Mother who she can now head in her head after her death.

Definitely one I would recommend, Mamele makes you question how our early relationships in life can affect our relationships in later life, the struggle we can have with realising that something is not right and the courage to walk away from it when we do. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[em · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quietly powerful and written beautifully, this book was an absolute masterpiece. I adored Reeves’ writing, it was easy to lose myself in this book and Edie’s life. There was such an intense focus on the important of self and being, I was rooting for Edie the whole way through, desperately wanting her to find a glimpse of happiness and independence. The family dynamics were complex and unconventional, but I could still feel the love and loyalty between Edie and her sister. I also enjoyed the time jumps, it felt like we were on a journey with Edie as she dug through her own trauma and key life moments. This was a real triumph of a novel, with enriched characters and a wonderfully fresh message. Gorgeous.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for kindly providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review. #Mamele #NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

[Daren Kearl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Initially I chose this book because half of it is set in Broadstairs. The passages walking the dogs around Botany Bay were familiar and nostalgic. As the story developed, however, I became more connected in more ways than one.
Edie’s situation resonated with me. Her Jewish mother had disowned her when she came out as a lesbian. Her mother also sank into a depression and stayed in bed, asserting unproven ailments and threatening suicide. I could see echoes in my own life and I think reading it was cathartic or certainly empowering.
It was also interesting to try and understand why the character was in a relationship with a woman who seemed to be just using her as a free housekeeper. Edie seemed to be blind to the fact that she was being used and that the relationship was mostly one way. Was this psychologically linked to her mother?
A good discussion novel for an LGBTQ+ reading group

[abi slade · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5⭐️

pros ✅
- i loved simone and i loved kiki
- some real moments of warmth and love: when edie read a bed time story to anais (her niece, simone’s daughter), when edie and simone are both stuffed in to zelda’s jumper
- the characters were very well fleshed out and believable
- very subtle and realistic undercurrent of abuse, the cyclical natural of edie’s relationships with her mother then with joanna was very delicately and cleverly written
- reeves managed to make a spiky and obtuse protagonist in edie whilst still making her likeable and nuanced
- some very sexy bits
- found the flashbacks far less ham-handed than in ‘wife,’ despite them actually being quite similarly structured books
- quite a few snort moments

cons ❌
- again, no massive emotional response
- ending was a little flat

[Sophie Kirkwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reeves packs a punch with her emotionally tender and insightful second novel. At the heart of this beautifully told, sometimes devastating story, is a decades-long estrangement between mother and daughter (told with heart-wrenching perceptiveness from the POV of fifty-something Edie).
What Reeves does so beautifully as an author is delve into what it means to be human - the emotional complexities of living and loving. Her sentences are so beautifully constructed that I often read them twice.
Edie's life has not been a conventional one, but Reeves delivers these details in a way that's never gratuitous - we find ourselves desperate for Edie to make peace with the past. An emotionally complex and soul-nourishing story.

[Tilly Fitzgerald · Rating 5 out of 5]

Actual rating 4.5.

Having read and loved Gemma’s brilliant debut, Victoria Park, I didn’t even need to read the blurb of this one before choosing to read it. And it’s obvious to see how much Gemma’s writing has flourished even in a few years 😍

This novel is quite literary and intense, and unlike anything I’ve read - it explores the intersection of queerness, religion and a haunting mother/daughter relationship, but also the unique situation of a live-in polyamorous marriage, fidelity and desire.

This one wasn’t a story I could relate to, but it totally opened my eyes to a different way of life and experience. It was utterly compelling, and the writing was truly exquisite, with a lot of sensuality to it. The highlight for me was Edie’s friendship with Joanna’s daughter Kiki (I listened on audio so may have spelt that wrong!), who seemed to give her the confidence to finally be herself and experience joy without guilt or shame.

A really original, seductive novel which I think will resonate with lots of readers, and I just can’t wait to see what Gemma does next! Also, contender for cover of the year!

[Steph Kvellestad · Rating 5 out of 5]

At times a hard read due to subject matter, Mamele provides a close, vulnerable look into a woman's life, all the complications and hard times exposed. I tore through this in a couple of days. It really portrays the impact that our growing up has on our life. How challenging it can be to break out of old patterns, how damaging it can be when parents don't allow children to exist as the individuals they are.

5/5 Stars

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC!

[Rudrashree Makwana · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such a raw, honest and poignant read. The author has shared about the female relationships and a mother and daughter’s bond. The main character is queer. She always wanted to feel accepted and loved but she didn’t had a good bond with her mother. It’s deeply moving and sad. Author has also shared about the crucial topics that shape us. You can expect generational trauma, unhealthy bond between a mother and daughter.

Thanks to the Author and Publisher

[Jordana Moser · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this - the premise was excellent, and I enjoyed all the themes she explored individually - but the execution left me a little wanting. It felt simultaneously a bit laboured, while also somehow unresolved, with the different strands not quite hanging together for me. (Also open to some of this dissatisfaction being rooted in seeing more of myself in Edie than I would like to be confronted with during my leisure reading…)

[Marta Ramalho · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s probably a 4-star book just not for me. I can see the art in it, I know it’s good but it’s one of those for me where it’s almost too introspective? And also so so so peculiar it makes it almost impossible to relate to. And if that is the case then I can’t introspect myself if that makes sense?
The story feels too scrambled, too messy but I guess that is the appeal and the brilliance in it. Just not for my brain I guess. It will sit with me for a bit though.

[Ally · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mamele is a beautiful book. It’s poetic writing has you re reading sentences to savour each word over again. A book about complicated relationships, both family and romantic, letting you in to the messiness of it all. I’m telling everyone I know to read it! The kind of book you don’t want to finish as you don’t want to leave the characters world.

[Mint · Rating 4 out of 5]

a tender, blazing look at the complex relationship between a mother and daughter, how it affects the latter's adult relationships, and what it means to grow up and heal. a very satisfying conclusion, characters full of life, and beautifully descriptive prose.

[Belinda Chisholm · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75***

Wow a very complex story about mother-daughter relationships, sister-relationships, queer relationships and the way in which these complex dynamics can influence your pathway and outlook on the world.

[Lydia Hephzibah · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75

Setting: UK
Rep: sapphic Jewish protagonist

Not a lot happens in this book but I found myself enjoying it; it was a quick listen via Everand and I found myself fascinated by Edie's perspective.

[Bree · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5⭐️

A really great story from the perspective of Edie a queer, Jewish woman. Edie is reflecting on the difficult female relationships in her life, and by the end of the book I really felt that she had made peace with all of them, in their complicated, but different ways

[Regina Flattering · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful, tender and heartbreaking novel. Loved the episodic style, poetic precise prose, and how it spanned the course of one woman’s life. So refreshing to see a fifty-something protagonist in Edie. Looking for more second-coming-of-age novels after reading this one.

[Mich · Rating 4 out of 5]

The employment of metaphorical language to express internal struggles is both lyrical and evocative, lingering long after each chapter. It’s a compelling exploration of painful mother-daughter dynamics that feel hauntingly familiar, and their enduring influence on personal development.

[Elise Overd · Rating 3 out of 5]

Or maybe four stars. Interesting exploration of the form different relationships can take. I found some of the dialogue awkwardly overdone and unrealistic - people don’t use that many similes etc. Not the most memorable book ever but fairly original.