They say when you love something, set it free.
They should also say that when you love a trope, you force yourself to read everything that anyone has ever mentioned in the same sentence as that thing that you love, bringing suffering and disappointment but also just enough joy to keep you going in a toxic cycle, à la when I love a sweet so much that I eat it for every meal and snack until I hate it and then I remember it a year later and it starts again.
Initial reviews say this expression is "way too long" and "very specific" and "also dumb and who cares," but I believe in myself.
And also I believe that my ongoing need to read everything anyone calls "dark academia," even as this results in pain and disappointment-spiked illness on my end, is the right thing.
Because, again, I believe in myself.
This is a book that many people describe as many things. People call it fantasy, even though it doesn't really have any magic in it. People call it YA, even though there's mature content in it. People call it not YA, even though the characters are aggressively teenage and the whole thing has that adolescent je ne sais quoi. People call it a mystery, or a thriller, even though none of the mysteries are solved and no plot event contains even a modicum of the excitement that the word thriller should imply.
And people call it dark academia, when it is actually just unpleasant.
This book is no fun whatsoever.
Why, I imagine - nay, HOPE - you are asking.
I hated this book so much that I took notes while I was reading it. This is roughly on par with me declaring war on someone, or stepping on the back of their shoe so they have to awkwardly hop on one foot to fix it, or offering them a pack of fruit snacks when I have already eaten all of the blues and reds.
In other words, a rare and irrevocable act of permanent disgust.
Let's get into it. (I love to say let's get into it 18 paragraphs into a rant review. Feels like the good ol' days.)
A Lesson in Vengeance follows our protagonist Felicity, a girl who is very rich and very pretty but both of those things are like, so beside the point. Yes, she has about every kind of privilege you can imagine, but she's like, tortured, okay? And like, an intellectual?
She is returning to the world pretentiousness capital of the world, her former boarding school in New England, which is for all intents and purposes interchangeable with any other except for the fact that it was founded to be a school for witches and a group of friends in the old-time-y nineteenth century was inexplicably murdered one by one in a series of impossible crimes.
Pretty major caveat, no?
She had to leave said boarding school previously due to the fact that her best friend / clandestine lover died in front of her in a fairly gruesome way. Although the act itself would be gruesome regardless, really. Anyway, she's back and better than ever, by which I mean hallucinating, believing in ghosts, and generally being a rainy day on the parade that is being wealthy in the autumn at school.
I'm just saying - if there's a spot up for grabs in the Emily Dickinson building of an elite boarding school, I'm putting my name on the list.
Then Ellis arrives. Ellis is the seventeen year old winner of the Pulitzer Prize, who also somehow is a method writer and goes on grand adventures and gets grants and acclaim for what sounds like some YA genre fiction.
Only in young adult novels can this situation unfold, and we are all expected to be like, "ah yes, the Pulitzer is often awarded to debuts coming out of teenagers who write like John Green."
But whatever.
From like day 1 of meeting Ellis our protagonist develops a crush so huge and defining that she starts describing things as "very Ellis" and "incontrovertibly Ellis" and "so wonderfully characteristically romantically classic for this person we just met" and for a character neither of us (Felicity and the reader) know, it sucks bad.
Sucks extra, I should say.
It's hard to say what the plot of this is, because nothing that anyone does makes sense. This becomes a problem because eventually you are supposed to think some things are confusing, but everything already is.
Essentially, Felicity and Ellis team up (and hook up) to discover the truth behind the old-timey murders that I mentioned above. PLEASE do not make my mistake and get excited about this. You get approximately 10% of the information you want, which is just enough to make you think that that sounds like a better idea for a book.
But I can't stress enough that there is no real build or climax here, so I'm not sure what we're doing.
Sometimes the ending of a book can be a little clue of what was supposed to matter, because you get a Big Reveal, but while we do get a very silly Dramatic Twist, it manages to be irrelevant to every single potential story.
It has nothing to do with the historical mystery. It has nothing to do with the fact that Felicity thinks she's being haunted. It has nothing to do with the presence OR the lack of magic, so we spend this whole so-called fantasy kind of unsure if magic is real in it.
WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE.
On top of that, characters appear and disappear for no reason except diversity, like Ellis' nonbinary sibling and the two POC roommates who serve as the sole source of nonwhiteness and all of the representation minus Ellis' and Felicity's horrible tangled yucky romance, if you can call it that.
Finally, this is an annoying book with annoying characters.
I will not be speaking further on that claim.
Bottom line: I am going to call my experience with this book Suffering For Character Development and move on.
But not because there is character development in this book. There is not.
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pre-review
this is a bunch of weird creepy nonsense.
and not in a fun way.
review to come / 1.5 stars
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currently-reading updates
when i'm anticipating a book before it even comes out and then i wait 5 months before reading it, that's actually a compliment.
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tbr review
(chanting) sapphic dark academia. sapphic dark academia. sapphic dark academia. sapphic dark academia