Wife

by Charlotte Mendelson

Wife by Charlotte Mendelson is a beautifully observed and coruscating novel about the joys of passionate love and motherhood, about those left in its wake when passion curdles, and the choices that have to be made when romantic love is no longer enough.

When Zoe Stamper meets fellow academic Dr Penny Cartwright at a party, she seems impossibly glamorous to Zoe, who is, after all, several rungs down the academic pecking order - and a nervous ingénue as far as Penny’s sophisticated circle is concerned. But Penny leaves Zoe a cryptic note, and a passionate affair ensues . . .

Once Penny confesses all to her live-in lover, Justine, their path is cleared to a life of mutual contentment and marital bliss. But there is something else Penny needs as badly in her life as Zoe's adoration, and thus the beginnng of their affair might also have signalled its end.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Lesbian, LGBT, Queer, Audiobook

320 pages, Hardcover

Published August 8, 2024

About the author

Charlotte Mendelson (born 1972) is a British novelist and editor. Her maternal grandparents were, in her words, "Hungarian-speaking-Czech, Ruthenian for about 10 minutes, Carpathian mountain-y, impossible to describe", who left Prague in 1939.
When she was two, she moved with her parents and her baby sister to a house in a cobbled passage next to St John's College, Oxford, where her father taught public international law.

After the King's School, Canterbury,she studied Ancient and Modern History at the University of Oxford, even though she knows now, with great regret, that what would have suited her best was English literature at somewhere like Leeds.

She says she became a lesbian suddenly. "It was boyfriends up to 22 or 23. Not a whiff of lesbianism. Not even a thought. But I'm very all or nothing. It was all that, and now it's all this. There was about a 10-minute cross-over period of uncertainty, but it was really not that bad."

She has two children with the journalist and novelist Joanna Briscoe.

She won the John Llewellyn Rhys Prize in 2003 and the Somerset Maugham Award in 2004 for her second novel Daughters of Jerusalem. She was shortlisted for the Sunday Times 'Young Writer of the Year Award in 2003.She contributes regularly to the TLS, the Guardian, the Independent on Sunday and the Observer. She is an editor at the publishers Headline Review. She was placed 60th on the Independent on Sunday Pink List 2007

Reviews

[Ashton · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you ever wanted to revisit a toxic relationship you’ve been in because you miss the gaslighting and manipulation, or you’ve never been in a toxic relationship and, for some perverse reason, you want to know what it’s like, read this book, I guess.

[Chloë Fowler · Rating 1 out of 5]

I've read interviews where Mendelson talks about finally writing lesbian characters in her latest novel. What a shame she's created a cast of hapless, pathetic, conniving, monsters. All.

She appears to hate everyone and everything.

Giving up on 30%.

Life's too short to read toxicity.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredible psycho thriller about a woman trying to leave her borderline personality wife. The only thing I'd wish were different is a more strong closing scene, just because I want to enjoy seeing Penny slapped in the face (figuratively, but also maybe actually).

[Hannah Ruth · Rating 1 out of 5]

350 pages of lesbian coercive control and emotional abuse with characters flatter than a doormat and no real sense of story or purpose. This could have been an email.

[Kobe · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Coercive control, bullying, age gap relationships and gaslighting - for a change this is not in a heterosexual relationship. I listened and read from the library and was impressed with the actor. The book is written from Zoe’s POV and although I could identify with her negative experiences with the very dominant Penny, I did find her infuriating at times. Mendelson cleverly lets the reader see what is happening before Z does and one of the key quotes is ‘There are unreliable narrators in real life, not only in fiction’. Some of the plot mirrors the author’s own experience and shows how the NHS and other authorities are too busy seeing this situation as cool and interesting to realise the truth. One bit I did find unrealistic was the sessions with the ever available GP. The fact that Zoe’s parents mirrored hers and Penny’s is subtly done. At times P is too awful and I was always hoping for some redeeming qualities. There are classical and academic references that some readers will appreciate, such as ‘the Greek trick’ and the author Christina Steed, who was resurrected by Virago in their early days. CM has a wonderful way with words and uses lists in a witty and clever manner. I liked the Big Brother like clock and the ‘then’ and ‘now’ timelines. There is rather too much detail but I found it a compelling story and was thankful that zoe learned that the best way to deal with a person like Penny is to pretend her ears are ‘sealed over’. Looking at GR a lot of readers are upset by the theme of toxic relationships but I admire the writer for tackling it.

I had a bizarre experience in our public library. A woman was taking out this book so I said it was a different take on a toxic relationship as it featured a lesbian couple. She blushed and giggled hysterically saying she had no idea and only picked it because it came up on her phone. Obviously wished she hadn’t. This is Croydon 2024!

[Emer Tannam · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

This was a weird book.

I really liked the style and the humour of it, funny, but at the same time given that it was about an abusive relationship, culminating in a bitter custody battle in which the kids were being used as pawns, it was a very stressful and distressing read. Not enjoyable as such. But then so funny !
My main quibble would be that Penny, the abusive wife starts out awful and continues in that vein. There’s no insidious descent into manipulation and degradation, it’s there from the get go, which makes it difficult to see her appeal even in the honeymoon years.

But I got totally wrapped up in the story, was really rooting for Zoe, and was very moved by it. The last sentence brought a tear to my eye.

So yeah, a weird one in terms of tone but overall very engaging.

[Ina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Eigentlich sehr interessant, Anfang und Ende waren gut aber alles dazwischen hat sich unglaublich gezogen und war viel zu frustrierend

[Bree · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5⭐️ A slow burn of a relationship breaking down. The alternate ‘then’ & ‘now’ narration was good as we were told how the relationship got to the point it is in now. I enjoyed the dissection from a queer perspective especially decisions to have a baby, co-parent & the effects of the breakdown on Matty & Rose.
Reading the book I felt I was back in the emotional drain of marital separation. It was hard to keep up with the absolute toxic nature of this relationship without shouting at the characters, who were vile. It was hard to stay sympathetic with Zoe all the way through, although the author attempted to explain why she stayed. I was invested but by about 75% the wrapping up should have been done and we weren’t really getting anything new, just more toxic examples.
I would have liked more from the children and framing Zoe more positively would have helped round off the story.
I enjoyed the writing a lot though (occasional big words that I have never heard of threw me!!)
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC of this book.

[Mya · Rating 2 out of 5]

The marketing made this seem it might be a sexy messy forbidden sapphic romance. But it was a profile of domestic abuse. I was expecting downfall but honestly, I wouldn't have brought it if I'd known this was a book of domestic abuse, co-ercion and parental alienation. With 100 pages left, I only read the "Now" sections to see how it'd be resolved - and I found the resolution disappointing. However, it is quite realistic as this kind of domestic abuse and co-ercion with a co-parent never ends.

At first I was disappointed that this is the sapphic representation we have, but the author raises an important point that domestic abuse still happens in queer couples but these dynamics can be harder to spot due to the different gender dynamics and stereotypes- and safeguarding professionals may not be able to notice, or feel able to call out, such dynamics for fear of being labelled homophobic.  

I didn't enjoy it and can't think of many people who would, but maybe that's not the point? I feel relieved and lighter to be done with it and not having to read it, diving back into this world each time.

[Leslie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this was was an exercise in frustration—in a good way. I felt this sense of mounting dread about what was going to happen, a kind of entrapment, amplified by the book’s double timeline, then (the beginnings of the relationship between Zoe and Penelope) and now (the end of the relationship, as Zoe tries to get loose from the destructive trap that relationship has become). The red flags are all there at the beginning, and if I had a friend like Zoe I’d be urging them NOT to get involved with this person, but of course she can’t see the red flags, and she doesn’t have anyone who can point them out to her, and she’s so desperate for love and so convinced of her unloveability that she’s vulnerable to exactly the kind of toxicity that Penelope brings to bear. And watching her struggles to get out was like watching an animal in a trap; I wasn’t sure if she would make it out or if she would just get so tired she’d stop struggling.

[Joan Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Masterpiece of Storytelling.
This is the tale of Zoe, a hapless young academic caught in an abusive relationship. We are carried along on a wave of gaucheness , self abasement, and uncertainty as she struggles to exert control over her life and career. In many ways this is a depressing tale, as the subtle manoeuvrings of the abuser are cleverly exposed. Gender seems irrelevant: these methods are pretty universal. However Charlotte Mendelson wickedly leavens all this gloom with her usual sprinklings of humour and irony, taking delight in puncturing the pomposity of the middle classes, and the world of academia. All in all this novel was great fun, in spite of its depressing theme, and (spoiler alert) I was greatly cheered that the abuser and her allies got their comeuppance in the end.A Masterpiece of storytelling.

[kiwi · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was crazy intense. the style was so vivid and spiralling that reading it felt like drowning. difficult to read because the gaslighting/emotional abuse/toxic mess was so richly rendered and well executed.

god willing matilda will kill her three shittiest parents

[Bethany · Rating 3 out of 5]

Part of this book made me angry and other parts made me sad. I wanted the ending to be something big but it wasn’t? I enjoyed certain parts, I liked the style of it, but as a whole this wasn’t for me I don’t think.

[abi slade · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5⭐️

pros ✅
- earlier this year i read a book called ‘nesting’ by roisin o’donnell (2⭐️) that was similarly about domestic abuse and coercive control. however, in ‘nesting,’ i found the abuser (the husband) to be almost cartoonish in his abuse. there was no nuance to his character and there was no reason for the wife to have wanted him in the first place. in ‘wife,’ however, there is definitely nuance. the flashbacks to the start of zoe and penny’s relationship show the gradual escalation of abuse and manipulation in a much more delicate and believable way
- at points, my jaw was on the floor. some of the things penny said to zoe were astoundingly manipulative and calculated but you can see why zoe spends so much of the book second guessing and doubting her instincts because penny uses her age and authority to make zoe feel powerless
- the poor kids! interesting that they barely ever speak - i don’t think rose actually speaks once and that might well be because she’s almost playing the role of penny’s pet

cons ❌
- took me over 50 pages to “get in” to the book
- towards the end it was starting to get a bit repetitive
- a little bit formulaic in its structure (flashback, present, cliffhanger, flashback)

[Tyra · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 ⭐️

This felt like reading a story based on a very bad lesbian stereotype, with certain archetypes. For that, it made me upset and felt like it cheapened the story. It also felt like the Zoe was had a very big victim mentality, and maybe it would be realistic in this case but seeing a protagonist, especially a female one, be weak and put in scenarios in which she only appears weak until the last chapter really made her seem flat. She had minimal growth throughout the novel, and her “goal achieved” moment was Penny finally showing empathy. The love interest had more of an overall change than Zoe did, but it still only happened in the last chapter. There was no actual build up to the change/growth. Just, boom (derogatory).

[nadia c · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was a tricky book to get into - i picked it up and put it down numerous times, but once i properly had adjusted to the numerous characters and going between the past and the present i was immersed. really insightful perspective of zoe, who was manipulated from the start into being in a relationship with a vindictive, jealous, negative and sly partner. so many elements of this story were so clearly written for the audience to notice before zoe, showing that when you're in that kind of relationship all of the factors at play mean you can't notice it and escape. really wanted a bigger ending and a look into the future for zoe and her life away from penny, but i am really glad that the story came to that crescendo - i honestly was theorising a murder or an attack instead with the vicious and emotive way this was written.

[laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

i expected something completely different before i started reading this. well.

[Piper]

DNF

[Evelyne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Charlotte Mendelson’s The Wife offers a slow-burning exploration of domestic tension, identity, and ambition, all wrapped in a literary style that’s both elegant and occasionally meandering. The characters, especially the protagonist, are well drawn, though some may come across as emotionally opaque or frustrating in their indecision.

The novel’s strength lies in its sharp observations of family life and the subtle power dynamics in a long-term relationship. However, the pacing might feel sluggish to readers looking for plot-driven drama, and at times the introspection can become repetitive.

Overall, The Wife is a thoughtful and nuanced read—worth picking up if you appreciate character-driven stories and literary prose, but it may not resonate with everyone.

[Kate]

This had such promise but ended up coming off very toxic. Was this the point?? These characters were so unlikable, and not in a good way.

[Deborah Siddoway · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had a promising premise, but unfortunately the delivery of it fell rather flat. I will start off with the positives, the writing was largely beautiful and considered, the emotion underlying the events well-constructed. The characterisation, however, is where the book began to falter. I think this is largely because we only got to see half of the picture. The reader knows early on that Zoe is in a toxic relationship with Penny, and that Penny is a narcissist subjecting Zoe to controlling and coercive behaviour, all the while deploying the DARVO we come to expect in such relationships. However, what the reader does not see is how Zoe ended up there.

Most narcissists target true empaths, because they need their compassion, forgiveness, and strength. But in order to entrap their empath, their is a constant cycle of love-bombing and grandiose gestures whereby the empath overlooks who the narcissist really is. For nearly the entirety of the book, we never see this side of Penny. The end result, is that the reader despises Penny, and Zoe is seen as simply a weak pushover, and we cannot for the life of us figure out what she sees in Penny or why she stays. I would have liked to have seen Penny with more of a mask on before the relationship is picked apart. In many ways, this felt like a lost opportunity.

The book was a hard read. Not liking Penny, finding Zoe's predicament difficult to engage with because of how Penny is portrayed, it was like watching a caricature of a toxic relationship, whereas the reality is that the nature of these relationships is far more subtle.

I really wanted to like this book, but I was just glad when I could put it down. It could have been so much more than what it was, but by the end, I didn't even care whether Zoe left or didn't, and I think that says all you need to know about the reading experience.

[Wendy Greenberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a relentless telling of a toxic marriage bouncing, in its telling, between the day of its unravelling and the story of the years of how the relationship began and progressed. Whilst its difference is that this is a lesbian marriage, it has all the hallmarks of other claustrophobic marriage/relationship tales. It sparked memories of the recent Kairos by Jenny Erpenbeck but also Middlemarch by George Eliot.

It is a much worn path for a reason, intimacy and vulnerability are open for assault all the time and whilst we think of coercive control as a modern concept, it has always existed. This novel really drills down into the idea of complicity versus self worth/wanting an easy life in a way that is relatable yet deeply painful, not least by the ripples it creates within the self-made family and the tsunami of consequences for their two teenage daughters.

This is not an easy read yet Mendelson's writing kept me turning the pages despite how it was making me feel. A great portrayal, I inhabited these character but whether it is a "Goodread" is going to be incredibly personal

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Painfully incredible.

[J · Rating 3 out of 5]

In The Exhibitionist, Mendelson has Ray Hanrahan the artist as a monster with the rest of the family collaborating and allowing him to behave in ways which were despicable and cruel. In Wife, Mendelson has Penny, wife to Zoe, as a monster who sucks the life out of everything, being beautiful, popular and clever but who at home is controlling and emotionally blackmailing and shaming out with friends.

Penny is older than Zoe, who is a little naive, with the two meeting at work. Zoe is swept off her feet and pays little attention to Justine who she replaces, where she lives and how she dresses. It turns out that none of these traits are to Penny's liking and so over time Zoe changes although finds aspects uncomfortable - as do we the reader. Eventually they want children, well Penny does, and so they set off searching for a sperm donor and struggle, ending up with Justine's brother Robert willing to donate but also be involved in his child's life. There is a second child with Zoe as the mother and complicated rights to who has the child, when and for how long with Robert having as much time as the mothers.

But when in a relationship do you start to realise that it is over? Is it when your secrets are broadcast to your wife's friends at a party, is it when she demands that you dress in a certain way or that your children are unhappy and showing it in antisocial ways? In some ways there is an element of complicity in the story until Zoe decides to leave. We then get endless tears and tantrums from Penny which just goes on and on and I did skip over part of these finding them just too tedious. There is only so much emotional blackmail that this reader can take before becoming bored. I did want to shake Zoe at this stage but of course, this was the love of her life and the children were being used as chess pieces in the messy game of divorce with Justine and Robert as part of the process.

Was it the same story as The Exhibitionist? The characters have changed and it isn't a gay relationship at the heart of the story but, other than that, much is similar. Mendelson is obviously making a study of how badly people can behave within relationships.

[Cold · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book without much joy as Zoe is oppressed by the rest of her family, Penny, her ex and ex's brother. The narrative is unsettled, jumping from the present (a custody battle) to the different stages of their relationship and how it evolved over time.

The book is relentlessly focused on events and interactions, with little time to advance themes and commentary or recriminations. This is largely because Zoe spent so long as the victim of emotional abuse, without any space for her own views and thoughts to emerge, let alone a critical take on their relationship. She is relentlessly gaslit about events, and made to feel like she's the root of any problems. Penny is a witch, Robin is pompous and awful, Justine is more ambiguous but ultimately a tool of Penny and Robin. Ughhh they were so bad.

Much of the book is about the damage of idealism. Penny is relentlessly idealistic about having children, having fun, how lesbians should be. Robin and Justine enforce a rationalist view on what is "fair" among a non-nuclear family, which is essentially an even division of time and emotions. The latter is most pernicious, where Zoe deliberately avoids a situation where a child would show love to her because doing so would hurt Penny. Just so so bad.

The axis of evil deploy various tactics to hurt Zoe including smearing her among friends, emotional blackmail, ranting to therapists and so on.

But, delightfully, Zoe wins. The closing pages are so so so sweet after such a torrid book. They try an endless number of therapists, who all give up as Penny sabotages the therapy. But finally, Zoe finds one who works through the issues and calls Penny out. Love it. The final pages are so sweet and deserved. Justice prevails.

This book takes the typical romance structure, but bloats the crisis in the middle to a good 90% of the book. The initial romantic flurry is rapidly glossed over, and the happily ever after doesn't arrive till the final few pages. But I'm glad it eventually happens.

I think the axis of evil is among my most hated characters of all time.

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wife is a nuanced, dark and sharp examination of a marriage in meltdown set over the course of a make or break day, with flashbacks to yesteryears.

Zoe, a young woman who is struggling with her self of sense meets Penny, a glamorous and confident older woman and is utterly enthralled. Thus follows a toxic and passionate love affair that ultimately comes to a tumultuous and messy end some years later, the repercussions echoing like shockwaves.

Mendelson deftly covers coersive control, power play and emotional abuse as the day unravels in chaotic fashion.

It's a difficult read and my inner monologue was screaming "walk away now, before it's too late" but I couldn't tear my eyes away and I had to know how it would conclude.

However, the bleakness is interspersed with moments of humour and some startling descriptions of maternal love and the driving force to protect your children - even when you feel hopeless and broken.

Wife will be a relatable read for many, and a eye-opening read for others who haven't experienced abuse and question - why did you not just leave?

Beautifully written, intense and unshying, I was totally invested in Zoe's story. I would recommend to fans of literary fiction who enjoy emotional and challenging character driven stories on the darker side.

[Sam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Readingtm this novel was exhausting. Charlotte Mendelson switches from past to present between chapters, where we see the creation and destruction of Penny and Zoe's relationship simultaneously.

Zoe is a young academic thirsting after Dr Penny Cartwright from the minute she lays eyes on her. Somehow, Penny, whom everyone knows is in a relationship with Justine, wants to be with Zoe. And poor Zoe, who is already the people-pleaser raised by a narcissistic mother, falls irrevocably in love with Penny. Immediately Zoe is consumed and it is obvious, at least to the reader, that Penny is extremely toxic and Zoe has entered an emotionally abusive relationship. The present is Zoe instigating a divorce and trying to gain custody of their two children from Penny and their father, Robin, who is Justine's brother (Justine also has parental rights). We see Zoe as a victim of such extreme emotional manipulation that I hated her for not seeing it for herself. Mendelson, however, does a good job of giving an insight to Zoe's feelings of unconditional love for Penny which makes her unwavering commitment understandable.

It's a good read, but I got tired of everyone. Zoe is the only character that develops and that too at a very slow pace.

[fe · Rating 1 out of 5]

i didn’t like this book much. the good times were so short and the descriptions of the crappy times were so long and soo repetitive. i was really hoping for a bit more cute gay honeymoon era before things got all dark n twisty, but that didn’t really happen. i felt really frustrated at the main character in particular, but i don’t think that any of the characters were written and developed well enough to be very sympathetic. i just know with such certainty that people in complex circumstances of abuse such as those described in this book have many deep and complicated reasons for staying in their individual situations, and this book didn’t even come close to doing that justice. so surface level. this book felt like a lottt of sequential retellings of the main character’s partner and the sperm donor/his sister being dickheads without a lot of commentary or discussion beyond simply describing what is happening. and not much character development for anyone. i did really like the dual timeline approach though - that was really cool and creative. and i do think that telling a wider range of narratives about queer relationships is really important. like i get it. but honestly in my heart of hearts this book does give off a distinctly homophobic aura

[Em · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was truly the biggest love-hate relationship - of course very on brand for the story. I’m not sure I’ve ever despised a character quite as much as I despise Penny. What a god awful woman. But more than anything, I wanted to reach into the book, grab Zoe by the hair and scream “WHY ARE YOU WITH HER” from day bloody one!!! We’ve all definitely had at least one relationship that we stayed in for too long because we didn’t have enough respect for ourself, but this… well this was bordering on self harm for Zoe! I just kept praying throughout that Zoe might finally lose it and kill Penny if I’m honest.

For the most part, it was a good read. I would say I struggled here and there with the writing style. Just personal preference but I think in places it got confusing due to lack of detail and then in others it got boring due to too much detail. I also just didn’t feel any real chemistry between Penny and Zoe even in the beginning which made their relationship hard to believe at all. But all in all, it was a decent read and definitely has given me food for thought in terms of starting a family!