Wife

by Charlotte Mendelson

Wife by Charlotte Mendelson is a beautifully observed and coruscating novel about the joys of passionate love and motherhood, about those left in its wake when passion curdles, and the choices that have to be made when romantic love is no longer enough.

When Zoe Stamper meets fellow academic Dr Penny Cartwright at a party, she seems impossibly glamorous to Zoe, who is, after all, several rungs down the academic pecking order - and a nervous ingénue as far as Penny’s sophisticated circle is concerned. But Penny leaves Zoe a cryptic note, and a passionate affair ensues . . .

Once Penny confesses all to her live-in lover, Justine, their path is cleared to a life of mutual contentment and marital bliss. But there is something else Penny needs as badly in her life as Zoe's adoration, and thus the beginnng of their affair might also have signalled its end.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Queer, Lesbian, LGBT, Audiobook

320 pages, Hardcover

Published August 8, 2024

About the author

Charlotte Mendelson (born 1972) is a British novelist and editor. Her maternal grandparents were, in her words, "Hungarian-speaking-Czech, Ruthenian for about 10 minutes, Carpathian mountain-y, impossible to describe", who left Prague in 1939.
When she was two, she moved with her parents and her baby sister to a house in a cobbled passage next to St John's College, Oxford, where her father taught public international law.

After the King's School, Canterbury,she studied Ancient and Modern History at the University of Oxford, even though she knows now, with great regret, that what would have suited her best was English literature at somewhere like Leeds.

She says she became a lesbian suddenly. "It was boyfriends up to 22 or 23. Not a whiff of lesbianism. Not even a thought. But I'm very all or nothing. It was all that, and now it's all this. There was about a 10-minute cross-over period of uncertainty, but it was really not that bad."

She has two children with the journalist and novelist Joanna Briscoe.

She won the John Llewellyn Rhys Prize in 2003 and the Somerset Maugham Award in 2004 for her second novel Daughters of Jerusalem. She was shortlisted for the Sunday Times 'Young Writer of the Year Award in 2003.She contributes regularly to the TLS, the Guardian, the Independent on Sunday and the Observer. She is an editor at the publishers Headline Review. She was placed 60th on the Independent on Sunday Pink List 2007

Reviews

[Ashton · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you ever wanted to revisit a toxic relationship you’ve been in because you miss the gaslighting and manipulation, or you’ve never been in a toxic relationship and, for some perverse reason, you want to know what it’s like, read this book, I guess.

[Chloë Fowler · Rating 1 out of 5]

I've read interviews where Mendelson talks about finally writing lesbian characters in her latest novel. What a shame she's created a cast of hapless, pathetic, conniving, monsters. All.

She appears to hate everyone and everything.

Giving up on 30%.

Life's too short to read toxicity.

[Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredible psycho thriller about a woman trying to leave her borderline personality wife. The only thing I'd wish were different is a more strong closing scene, just because I want to enjoy seeing Penny slapped in the face (figuratively, but also maybe actually).

[Kobe · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Hannah Ruth · Rating 1 out of 5]

350 pages of lesbian coercive control and emotional abuse with characters flatter than a doormat and no real sense of story or purpose. This could have been an email.

[Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Coercive control, bullying, age gap relationships and gaslighting - for a change this is not in a heterosexual relationship. I listened and read from the library and was impressed with the actor. The book is written from Zoe’s POV and although I could identify with her negative experiences with the very dominant Penny, I did find her infuriating at times. Mendelson cleverly lets the reader see what is happening before Z does and one of the key quotes is ‘There are unreliable narrators in real life, not only in fiction’. Some of the plot mirrors the author’s own experience and shows how the NHS and other authorities are too busy seeing this situation as cool and interesting to realise the truth. One bit I did find unrealistic was the sessions with the ever available GP. The fact that Zoe’s parents mirrored hers and Penny’s is subtly done. At times P is too awful and I was always hoping for some redeeming qualities. There are classical and academic references that some readers will appreciate, such as ‘the Greek trick’ and the author Christina Steed, who was resurrected by Virago in their early days. CM has a wonderful way with words and uses lists in a witty and clever manner. I liked the Big Brother like clock and the ‘then’ and ‘now’ timelines. There is rather too much detail but I found it a compelling story and was thankful that zoe learned that the best way to deal with a person like Penny is to pretend her ears are ‘sealed over’. Looking at GR a lot of readers are upset by the theme of toxic relationships but I admire the writer for tackling it.

I had a bizarre experience in our public library. A woman was taking out this book so I said it was a different take on a toxic relationship as it featured a lesbian couple. She blushed and giggled hysterically saying she had no idea and only picked it because it came up on her phone. Obviously wished she hadn’t. This is Croydon 2024!

Last summer I did an author talk on creative writing in a boiling hot dulwich picture gallery with Charlotte and Elizabeth McNeal. Charlotte was very impressive with her humour and personality. Both women are very intelligent and wrote in such different ways. C has been criticised about her book, not so much about the lesbian relationship but about having an unattractive Australian character!

[Emer Tannam · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

This was a weird book.

I really liked the style and the humour of it, funny, but at the same time given that it was about an abusive relationship, culminating in a bitter custody battle in which the kids were being used as pawns, it was a very stressful and distressing read. Not enjoyable as such. But then so funny !
My main quibble would be that Penny, the abusive wife starts out awful and continues in that vein. There’s no insidious descent into manipulation and degradation, it’s there from the get go, which makes it difficult to see her appeal even in the honeymoon years.

But I got totally wrapped up in the story, was really rooting for Zoe, and was very moved by it. The last sentence brought a tear to my eye.

So yeah, a weird one in terms of tone but overall very engaging.

[Leslie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this was was an exercise in frustration—in a good way. I felt this sense of mounting dread about what was going to happen, a kind of entrapment, amplified by the book’s double timeline, then (the beginnings of the relationship between Zoe and Penelope) and now (the end of the relationship, as Zoe tries to get loose from the destructive trap that relationship has become). The red flags are all there at the beginning, and if I had a friend like Zoe I’d be urging them NOT to get involved with this person, but of course she can’t see the red flags, and she doesn’t have anyone who can point them out to her, and she’s so desperate for love and so convinced of her unloveability that she’s vulnerable to exactly the kind of toxicity that Penelope brings to bear. And watching her struggles to get out was like watching an animal in a trap; I wasn’t sure if she would make it out or if she would just get so tired she’d stop struggling.

[Joan Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Masterpiece of Storytelling.
This is the tale of Zoe, a hapless young academic caught in an abusive relationship. We are carried along on a wave of gaucheness , self abasement, and uncertainty as she struggles to exert control over her life and career. In many ways this is a depressing tale, as the subtle manoeuvrings of the abuser are cleverly exposed. Gender seems irrelevant: these methods are pretty universal. However Charlotte Mendelson wickedly leavens all this gloom with her usual sprinklings of humour and irony, taking delight in puncturing the pomposity of the middle classes, and the world of academia. All in all this novel was great fun, in spite of its depressing theme, and (spoiler alert) I was greatly cheered that the abuser and her allies got their comeuppance in the end.A Masterpiece of storytelling.

[kiwi · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was crazy intense. the style was so vivid and spiralling that reading it felt like drowning. difficult to read because the gaslighting/emotional abuse/toxic mess was so richly rendered and well executed.

god willing matilda will kill her three shittiest parents

[Bree · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5⭐️ A slow burn of a relationship breaking down. The alternate ‘then’ & ‘now’ narration was good as we were told how the relationship got to the point it is in now. I enjoyed the dissection from a queer perspective especially decisions to have a baby, co-parent & the effects of the breakdown on Matty & Rose.
Reading the book I felt I was back in the emotional drain of marital separation. It was hard to keep up with the absolute toxic nature of this relationship without shouting at the characters, who were vile. It was hard to stay sympathetic with Zoe all the way through, although the author attempted to explain why she stayed. I was invested but by about 75% the wrapping up should have been done and we weren’t really getting anything new, just more toxic examples.
I would have liked more from the children and framing Zoe more positively would have helped round off the story.
I enjoyed the writing a lot though (occasional big words that I have never heard of threw me!!)
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC of this book.

[Mya · Rating 2 out of 5]

The marketing made this seem it might be a sexy messy forbidden sapphic romance. But it was a profile of domestic abuse. I was expecting downfall but honestly, I wouldn't have brought it if I'd known this was a book of domestic abuse, co-ercion and parental alienation. With 100 pages left, I only read the "Now" sections to see how it'd be resolved - and I found the resolution disappointing. However, it is quite realistic as this kind of domestic abuse and co-ercion with a co-parent never ends.

At first I was disappointed that this is the sapphic representation we have, but the author raises an important point that domestic abuse still happens in queer couples but these dynamics can be harder to spot due to the different gender dynamics and stereotypes- and safeguarding professionals may not be able to notice, or feel able to call out, such dynamics for fear of being labelled homophobic.  

I didn't enjoy it and can't think of many people who would, but maybe that's not the point? I feel relieved and lighter to be done with it and not having to read it, diving back into this world each time.

[Wendy Greenberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a relentless telling of a toxic marriage bouncing, in its telling, between the day of its unravelling and the story of the years of how the relationship began and progressed. Whilst its difference is that this is a lesbian marriage, it has all the hallmarks of other claustrophobic marriage/relationship tales. It sparked memories of the recent Kairos by Jenny Erpenbeck but also Middlemarch by George Eliot.

It is a much worn path for a reason, intimacy and vulnerability are open for assault all the time and whilst we think of coercive control as a modern concept, it has always existed. This novel really drills down into the idea of complicity versus self worth/wanting an easy life in a way that is relatable yet deeply painful, not least by the ripples it creates within the self-made family and the tsunami of consequences for their two teenage daughters.

This is not an easy read yet Mendelson's writing kept me turning the pages despite how it was making me feel. A great portrayal, I inhabited these character but whether it is a "Goodread" is going to be incredibly personal

[Bethany · Rating 3 out of 5]

Part of this book made me angry and other parts made me sad. I wanted the ending to be something big but it wasn’t? I enjoyed certain parts, I liked the style of it, but as a whole this wasn’t for me I don’t think.

[Ina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Eigentlich sehr interessant, Anfang und Ende waren gut aber alles dazwischen hat sich unglaublich gezogen und war viel zu frustrierend

[zoë · Rating 3 out of 5]

a sapphic snake swallows a young lesbian whole and takes 15 years to digest her. true horror.

deeply unpleasant and painful, this is an excellent analysis of an emotionally abusive relationship in which the wronged party doesn’t realize she’s sinking until the air bubbles are floating above her head and the quicksand is starting to itch.

release me for real.

in an interview, the author said she didn’t want to write either party as fully evil or good but rather as human and while i appreciate the nuance, penny was a repugnant, evil demon from hell and a variant of a nasty white woman that I’ve met one too many times especially in professional environments. a stank, hateful person who salivates at servitude and thinks you beneath her so all your accomplishments and goals are things she deserves instead. just terrible.

& here, the gaslighting, lack of genuine interest in zoe (reading my name over like that as she was being done so dirty was gone chilling actually) outside of the baby growing services she could provide and then the fake?lebsian antics while accusing zoe of bisexuality were so…….???just one hit after another….

and it got me.

one of my biggest fears is being surveilled and not believed despite presenting cold hard evidence plus having people think an idiotic and endlessly permissive version of me is fact (basically being a reality tv show contestant) while being badly played like a spanish guitar and here that was the whole, underhanded evil thing.

lesbianism will save you but only sometimes sista!

it’s scary out there for real.

[abi slade · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5⭐️

pros ✅
- earlier this year i read a book called ‘nesting’ by roisin o’donnell (2⭐️) that was similarly about domestic abuse and coercive control. however, in ‘nesting,’ i found the abuser (the husband) to be almost cartoonish in his abuse. there was no nuance to his character and there was no reason for the wife to have wanted him in the first place. in ‘wife,’ however, there is definitely nuance. the flashbacks to the start of zoe and penny’s relationship show the gradual escalation of abuse and manipulation in a much more delicate and believable way
- at points, my jaw was on the floor. some of the things penny said to zoe were astoundingly manipulative and calculated but you can see why zoe spends so much of the book second guessing and doubting her instincts because penny uses her age and authority to make zoe feel powerless
- the poor kids! interesting that they barely ever speak - i don’t think rose actually speaks once and that might well be because she’s almost playing the role of penny’s pet

cons ❌
- took me over 50 pages to “get in” to the book
- towards the end it was starting to get a bit repetitive
- a little bit formulaic in its structure (flashback, present, cliffhanger, flashback)

[Tyra · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 ⭐️

This felt like reading a story based on a very bad lesbian stereotype, with certain archetypes. For that, it made me upset and felt like it cheapened the story. It also felt like the Zoe was had a very big victim mentality, and maybe it would be realistic in this case but seeing a protagonist, especially a female one, be weak and put in scenarios in which she only appears weak until the last chapter really made her seem flat. She had minimal growth throughout the novel, and her “goal achieved” moment was Penny finally showing empathy. The love interest had more of an overall change than Zoe did, but it still only happened in the last chapter. There was no actual build up to the change/growth. Just, boom (derogatory).

[nadia c · Rating 4 out of 5]

this was a tricky book to get into - i picked it up and put it down numerous times, but once i properly had adjusted to the numerous characters and going between the past and the present i was immersed. really insightful perspective of zoe, who was manipulated from the start into being in a relationship with a vindictive, jealous, negative and sly partner. so many elements of this story were so clearly written for the audience to notice before zoe, showing that when you're in that kind of relationship all of the factors at play mean you can't notice it and escape. really wanted a bigger ending and a look into the future for zoe and her life away from penny, but i am really glad that the story came to that crescendo - i honestly was theorising a murder or an attack instead with the vicious and emotive way this was written.

[laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

i expected something completely different before i started reading this. well.

[Piper]

DNF

[Evelyne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Charlotte Mendelson’s The Wife offers a slow-burning exploration of domestic tension, identity, and ambition, all wrapped in a literary style that’s both elegant and occasionally meandering. The characters, especially the protagonist, are well drawn, though some may come across as emotionally opaque or frustrating in their indecision.

The novel’s strength lies in its sharp observations of family life and the subtle power dynamics in a long-term relationship. However, the pacing might feel sluggish to readers looking for plot-driven drama, and at times the introspection can become repetitive.

Overall, The Wife is a thoughtful and nuanced read—worth picking up if you appreciate character-driven stories and literary prose, but it may not resonate with everyone.

[Kate]

This had such promise but ended up coming off very toxic. Was this the point?? These characters were so unlikable, and not in a good way.

[Deborah Siddoway · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had a promising premise, but unfortunately the delivery of it fell rather flat. I will start off with the positives, the writing was largely beautiful and considered, the emotion underlying the events well-constructed. The characterisation, however, is where the book began to falter. I think this is largely because we only got to see half of the picture. The reader knows early on that Zoe is in a toxic relationship with Penny, and that Penny is a narcissist subjecting Zoe to controlling and coercive behaviour, all the while deploying the DARVO we come to expect in such relationships. However, what the reader does not see is how Zoe ended up there.

Most narcissists target true empaths, because they need their compassion, forgiveness, and strength. But in order to entrap their empath, their is a constant cycle of love-bombing and grandiose gestures whereby the empath overlooks who the narcissist really is. For nearly the entirety of the book, we never see this side of Penny. The end result, is that the reader despises Penny, and Zoe is seen as simply a weak pushover, and we cannot for the life of us figure out what she sees in Penny or why she stays. I would have liked to have seen Penny with more of a mask on before the relationship is picked apart. In many ways, this felt like a lost opportunity.

The book was a hard read. Not liking Penny, finding Zoe's predicament difficult to engage with because of how Penny is portrayed, it was like watching a caricature of a toxic relationship, whereas the reality is that the nature of these relationships is far more subtle.

I really wanted to like this book, but I was just glad when I could put it down. It could have been so much more than what it was, but by the end, I didn't even care whether Zoe left or didn't, and I think that says all you need to know about the reading experience.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took me a long time to care about anybody in this novel and I found it quite stressful to read. It doesn't so much document a passionate romance fizzling out into a painful break-up, as chart a damaging, coercive relationship which should have ended much sooner than it does. It is well-written and wryly captures many details of family life and modern-day parenting, but these plusses were outweighed by the gas-lighting and emotional abuse endured by the protagonist which I found really depressing - so many opportunities for healthy relationships, happiness and career progression are lost due to spending years with the cold, controlling, narcissistic Penny. The last few pages signal hope for the future, but CM keeps you wondering right up until that point.

[Annette Morris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Had to keep coming up for air with this one. The writing is as intense and claustrophobic as the toxic, coercive-controlling relationship between the two women, but with rare flashes of humour to lighten the mood. Charlotte Mendelson writes dialogue so convincingly, which exposes every agonising detail as the relationship implodes slowly and painfully. Many issues are raised, all of them uncomfortable, disturbing and scarily recognisable, to do with relationships: marriage, romances, parent-child, family and friends etc. It left me feeling emotionally battered and quite exhausted which is perhaps indicative of the exceptional quality of the writing.

[Elsie Beya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow.
What a frustrating yet heartbreaking read.
I’ve recently ended my marriage to a narcissist, and while WIFE shows an extreme version, I was taken aback by how much I related to Zo and her situation. It made me cry, it made me feel, it made me angry and frustrated at how narcissistic people and behaviour leaves no stone untouched. I was instantly hooked and have never read anything depicting this type of relationship so well. Bravo.

[Isabel Mulligan · Rating 4 out of 5]

extremely toxic age gap lesbian relationship - and the first time i’ve read about lesbian mums and their kids. it’s not looking good !! despite zoe being a bit flat, penny was so magnificently awful that i felt real anger while reading it, something i haven’t felt in a while when reading a book. would recommend to anyone who enjoys psychological deep dives and lesbians.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Painfully incredible.

[Elizabeth Kaye · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of the main characters is so vile......!!