What do you think?
Rate this book
I Will Never Leave You
This emotional debut thriller follows a teen girl being haunted by the ghost of her toxic ex-girlfriend, who gives her a chilling ultimatum—help her possess another girl or go down for her murder.
Maya has always belonged to Alana. After four years of dating, and on the precipice of graduating high school, Maya has been too terrified to consider the idea of life outside of their volatile relationship. Until she finds the courage to break up with Alana while they’re hiking in Southern California.
Then Alana goes missing. As the police get involved and the media run wild with the story, everyone seems to think that Maya is lying about Alana’s disappearance. Secretly, Maya knows they’re right: if Alana’s dead, she’s the one to blame.
But that’s not Maya’s only secret. Alana isn’t gone, not really—and she isn’t going to let Maya go so easily…
Maya has always belonged to Alana. After four years of dating, and on the precipice of graduating high school, Maya has been too terrified to consider the idea of life outside of their volatile relationship. Until she finds the courage to break up with Alana while they’re hiking in Southern California.
Then Alana goes missing. As the police get involved and the media run wild with the story, everyone seems to think that Maya is lying about Alana’s disappearance. Secretly, Maya knows they’re right: if Alana’s dead, she’s the one to blame.
But that’s not Maya’s only secret. Alana isn’t gone, not really—and she isn’t going to let Maya go so easily…
352 pages, Hardcover
First published July 23, 2024
29 people are currently reading
6440 people want to read
About the author
Kara A. Kennedy
1 book70 followersKara A. Kennedy has been telling ghost stories—and sometimes living them—since childhood. She holds a BA in Professional Writing from Penn State University, where she worked as a writing tutor and cultivated a love of coffee. She lives in a historic and possibly haunted home in Pennsylvania with her wife and their two cats. I Will Never Leave You is her debut novel.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 178 reviews
October 17, 2024
We were unbreakable, until we broke. We were two girls who loved each other until it became easier to hurt each other. I lay them down on a bed of lilies and soft dirt, those girls we used to be. I bury them so that I can rise again.
This isn’t a romance, and it shouldn’t be promoted as one.
It’s about the complexities of toxic relationships, of unhealthy obsessions, of control and domination in relationships, of emotional abuse. But it’s also about healing and trauma, sibling bonding, and choosing to pick yourself after you’ve had enough.
One of the craziest things to me is how a lot of people out there exclusively think and believe that domestic violence and abuse only and primarily exists in straight relationships. I mean, there’s even a quote in this book where the main character, Maya, is being asked what comes to mind when she hears the word abusive, and Maya mentions a man hitting a woman.
Dr. Duarte opens her mouth, pauses. Closes it. “When you say abusive, what does that bring to mind?”
“Like, a guy who beats his wife or something. Gets drunk and screams and yells.” Unfortunately, abuse, in the many different ways it happens, is largely ignored in same sex relationships.
I Will Never Leave You is a thriller, as well as a fictional documentary of an abusive lesbian relationship. The author shows the intricacies between what is wrong and what is right; love versus control. The character development Maya goes through is incredibly slow to the point where I was worried it just wouldn’t be there at all, but as I continued reading, it made more sense. The author doesn’t ignore the process of healing Maya needs to go through. It’s slow formed because it’s a process in itself, and something Maya needs to do for her own well-being. The concept of Alana coming back from the dead as a ghost to haunt Maya is fictional, but the difficulties it possesses in Maya and her relationship with Alana isn’t. It’s all a deep-rooted nightmare for many individuals. The author’s ability to create the manipulation from Alana to Maya, as well as the reader, is wonderfully crafted. We see how and why Maya is unable to grasp out of Alana’s hold, even after she’s dead, and is unsure how to proceed without her, despite the breakup and despite saying/feeling she was done. Alana’s influence in Maya is not unusual, despite the paranormal and thrilling aspect of the story. The abusive tendencies from Alana start off slow and build their way up to negatively kill Maya’s life. Making her abandon her friends and sister, not talking to anyone but Alana, do everything Alana says and asks for, listen to her at all times, follow her like a good worshiper–it all piles up together until Maya is unable to see the unfairness and issues with it all.
Maya is not a likable character. She’s a usual, snarky, rebellious, stubborn 17-year-old teenager. Her development takes time, and an impatient attitude (like the first one I had) will not work. She doesn’t really have her epiphany until the 60% mark which…yeah…is late, but when you read the book, you’ll understand why. I was disappointed at first, but after reflecting on everything, it makes sense. Unfortunately, like real life, it can take a long time for the person to realize their partner is toxic, and Maya had some inklings, yet she was never really sold on it. She continues defending Alana, even after her death, even after Alana haunts her as a ghost. Her character development is sprinkled throughout the book, where she slowly starts seeing things in a different light and realizing that Alana was not a good person. This will be an issue for any reader if they can’t understand Maya’s point of view. The author wrote it this way for a reason: because it’s real. Getting out of an abusive relationship is really not as simple as one may think. This book really takes the question “Why didn’t you just get out” into consideration. Maya didn’t get out because she never saw it through the negative lens. She had rose-colored glasses, and even after Alana is a ghost haunting and threatening her, she’s unable to wipe Alana away. We see the reason for this is because of their past, the three years they shared together, Alana’s continuous manipulation and gaslighting. It’s complicated and not at all easy.
It’s best to accept her as she is, because once you can get behind and understand why she acts the way she does, it’s easier to understand where she is coming from. It’s clear Maya wants to do and be better, but it’s difficult to do so when she spent three years giving up her choices for Alana. Maya is still a teenager, and yeah, she acts like one throughout the entire story. There are very few moments of maturity, as it’s obvious she doesn’t come from struggles that force her to mature like other teens, yet she’s still someone with a desire to be and do something. The author added a theme of pre-college stress and pressure, as well as mental health representation (specifically panic disorder), which Maya struggles with. These themes blend in together, and nothing ever feels left out or underdeveloped. Sometimes authors add in too many themes to their stories, not allowing them to be fully expressed and explored, which makes the story less emotional and difficult to follow up with. Instead, the author uses everything she added as a way to add to the plot, making it more realistic and not just a thriller with a paranormal element behind it. Similarly, the sibling bond between Maya and her sister, Jazmine, grows steadily. Jazmine is just the support Maya needed, and I was glad to see good sibling bonding in this. I will always have a soft spot for books with sibling relationships. Jazmine was always mature and acted as the necessary sister figure Maya needed, even if, and even when, Maya didn’t see it that way.
Another thing I was glad for was how the author didn’t make Maya and Rowan romantic partners in the end. I think this would’ve taken away the emotion from Maya’s healing. It’s normal for her to feel attracted to Rowan, but I was glad their relationship didn’t turn into a romance, because it would have felt really unnecessary and taken away from the novel. Maya needed to continue healing, and I’m hoping she’s out there somewhere receiving that help she still needs. Because although she realized what was happening and accepted Alana was not making her happy or safe, it wasn’t over for her even after Alana was banished. Rowan did make for a wonderful new friend for her, though, and I loved their dynamics. Rowan was understanding and patient, never jumping to conclusions about Maya, and allowing her to speak her side of the story. Their hate to love progression was cute. Maybe in another life they are together, happy and in love, safe and content.
I struggled with the different timelines of the past and present a little bit, but after accepting that’s how it was going to be throughout the novel, it worked greatly in my favor. It always added something new to learn about Maya and Alana, which then would make more sense as you continued reading the present timeline. The thrilling aspect is also not really edge-of-your seat kind, in my opinion, as YA thrillers usually…aren’t, sadly. I never really felt super invested in the investigation and case, and it might be because I was much more curious about everyone and everything else: Alana’s ghost, the possession of Rowan, how Maya was going to prove her innocence, what the small town was talking about, etc. But if you’re like me and don’t care much for the mystery part of it all, this won’t bother you and be a big issue after all.
This is a wonderful debut, and I’m hopeful and excited to see what else this author will be writing in the future.
May all the Maya’s and Rowan’s out there find happiness and safety, and may all the Alana’s out there be banished.
The one thing people always fail to consider is just how complicated, how messy, how terrible girls can be. How our hearts can tangle into knots. A girl can scratch and claw, then trace bloody clouds with her fingernails. She can drown in spun-sugar kisses but claw out eyes like a carrion crow.
This isn’t a romance, and it shouldn’t be promoted as one.
It’s about the complexities of toxic relationships, of unhealthy obsessions, of control and domination in relationships, of emotional abuse. But it’s also about healing and trauma, sibling bonding, and choosing to pick yourself after you’ve had enough.
One of the craziest things to me is how a lot of people out there exclusively think and believe that domestic violence and abuse only and primarily exists in straight relationships. I mean, there’s even a quote in this book where the main character, Maya, is being asked what comes to mind when she hears the word abusive, and Maya mentions a man hitting a woman.
Dr. Duarte opens her mouth, pauses. Closes it. “When you say abusive, what does that bring to mind?”
“Like, a guy who beats his wife or something. Gets drunk and screams and yells.” Unfortunately, abuse, in the many different ways it happens, is largely ignored in same sex relationships.
I Will Never Leave You is a thriller, as well as a fictional documentary of an abusive lesbian relationship. The author shows the intricacies between what is wrong and what is right; love versus control. The character development Maya goes through is incredibly slow to the point where I was worried it just wouldn’t be there at all, but as I continued reading, it made more sense. The author doesn’t ignore the process of healing Maya needs to go through. It’s slow formed because it’s a process in itself, and something Maya needs to do for her own well-being. The concept of Alana coming back from the dead as a ghost to haunt Maya is fictional, but the difficulties it possesses in Maya and her relationship with Alana isn’t. It’s all a deep-rooted nightmare for many individuals. The author’s ability to create the manipulation from Alana to Maya, as well as the reader, is wonderfully crafted. We see how and why Maya is unable to grasp out of Alana’s hold, even after she’s dead, and is unsure how to proceed without her, despite the breakup and despite saying/feeling she was done. Alana’s influence in Maya is not unusual, despite the paranormal and thrilling aspect of the story. The abusive tendencies from Alana start off slow and build their way up to negatively kill Maya’s life. Making her abandon her friends and sister, not talking to anyone but Alana, do everything Alana says and asks for, listen to her at all times, follow her like a good worshiper–it all piles up together until Maya is unable to see the unfairness and issues with it all.
Maya is not a likable character. She’s a usual, snarky, rebellious, stubborn 17-year-old teenager. Her development takes time, and an impatient attitude (like the first one I had) will not work. She doesn’t really have her epiphany until the 60% mark which…yeah…is late, but when you read the book, you’ll understand why. I was disappointed at first, but after reflecting on everything, it makes sense. Unfortunately, like real life, it can take a long time for the person to realize their partner is toxic, and Maya had some inklings, yet she was never really sold on it. She continues defending Alana, even after her death, even after Alana haunts her as a ghost. Her character development is sprinkled throughout the book, where she slowly starts seeing things in a different light and realizing that Alana was not a good person. This will be an issue for any reader if they can’t understand Maya’s point of view. The author wrote it this way for a reason: because it’s real. Getting out of an abusive relationship is really not as simple as one may think. This book really takes the question “Why didn’t you just get out” into consideration. Maya didn’t get out because she never saw it through the negative lens. She had rose-colored glasses, and even after Alana is a ghost haunting and threatening her, she’s unable to wipe Alana away. We see the reason for this is because of their past, the three years they shared together, Alana’s continuous manipulation and gaslighting. It’s complicated and not at all easy.
It’s best to accept her as she is, because once you can get behind and understand why she acts the way she does, it’s easier to understand where she is coming from. It’s clear Maya wants to do and be better, but it’s difficult to do so when she spent three years giving up her choices for Alana. Maya is still a teenager, and yeah, she acts like one throughout the entire story. There are very few moments of maturity, as it’s obvious she doesn’t come from struggles that force her to mature like other teens, yet she’s still someone with a desire to be and do something. The author added a theme of pre-college stress and pressure, as well as mental health representation (specifically panic disorder), which Maya struggles with. These themes blend in together, and nothing ever feels left out or underdeveloped. Sometimes authors add in too many themes to their stories, not allowing them to be fully expressed and explored, which makes the story less emotional and difficult to follow up with. Instead, the author uses everything she added as a way to add to the plot, making it more realistic and not just a thriller with a paranormal element behind it. Similarly, the sibling bond between Maya and her sister, Jazmine, grows steadily. Jazmine is just the support Maya needed, and I was glad to see good sibling bonding in this. I will always have a soft spot for books with sibling relationships. Jazmine was always mature and acted as the necessary sister figure Maya needed, even if, and even when, Maya didn’t see it that way.
Another thing I was glad for was how the author didn’t make Maya and Rowan romantic partners in the end. I think this would’ve taken away the emotion from Maya’s healing. It’s normal for her to feel attracted to Rowan, but I was glad their relationship didn’t turn into a romance, because it would have felt really unnecessary and taken away from the novel. Maya needed to continue healing, and I’m hoping she’s out there somewhere receiving that help she still needs. Because although she realized what was happening and accepted Alana was not making her happy or safe, it wasn’t over for her even after Alana was banished. Rowan did make for a wonderful new friend for her, though, and I loved their dynamics. Rowan was understanding and patient, never jumping to conclusions about Maya, and allowing her to speak her side of the story. Their hate to love progression was cute. Maybe in another life they are together, happy and in love, safe and content.
I struggled with the different timelines of the past and present a little bit, but after accepting that’s how it was going to be throughout the novel, it worked greatly in my favor. It always added something new to learn about Maya and Alana, which then would make more sense as you continued reading the present timeline. The thrilling aspect is also not really edge-of-your seat kind, in my opinion, as YA thrillers usually…aren’t, sadly. I never really felt super invested in the investigation and case, and it might be because I was much more curious about everyone and everything else: Alana’s ghost, the possession of Rowan, how Maya was going to prove her innocence, what the small town was talking about, etc. But if you’re like me and don’t care much for the mystery part of it all, this won’t bother you and be a big issue after all.
This is a wonderful debut, and I’m hopeful and excited to see what else this author will be writing in the future.
May all the Maya’s and Rowan’s out there find happiness and safety, and may all the Alana’s out there be banished.
The one thing people always fail to consider is just how complicated, how messy, how terrible girls can be. How our hearts can tangle into knots. A girl can scratch and claw, then trace bloody clouds with her fingernails. She can drown in spun-sugar kisses but claw out eyes like a carrion crow.
July 26, 2024
when your girlfriend is so toxic she comes back from the dead to haunt you
read this in one sitting and haven’t thought about anything else since I’m obsessed
read this in one sitting and haven’t thought about anything else since I’m obsessed
November 25, 2024
{age} 13/14+ {rating} ★★★★.5
Note: this is not a sapphic romance, but a thriller. This explores mental health, toxic relationships, anxiety, panic attacks. I suggest reading trigger warnings (I’ll have some at the end of this review) before opening this book if you’re sensitive to those types of things.
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ ❝ That was the first time she said those words to me, but they would become our mantra. A promise. A vow. I will never leave you. I will never, ever leave you. ❞ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
┍━━━━━»•» overall thoughts 🌺«•«━┑
Where do I start? I’m literally at a loss for words. Even if I spent hours picking out words from Webster’s Dictionary I still wouldn’t be able to express how much I love this book. It altered my brain chemistry or something like that.
I have to admit, it took me a while to get into this book, and 100 pages contemplated whether or not I should DNF this book, and I don’t know what told me to go on, but whatever did, I thank with all my heart, because this was amazing. Once the plot started picking up, I became addicted, my eyes glued to the pages of this masterpiece. I couldn’t put it down Like, seriously. I was bored for a while, decided I’ll continue reading it one weekend, and flew through it. I read so much on that life-changing Saturday. I actually finished it, which is crazy because I usually never finish books that fast nowadays (I would give anything to read books like I did in February).
I really appreciated the writing. It was so good, especially for a debut. The only thing that I think one might not like about it is that if you don’t like books with modern components, I don’t think this one's for you. I think the book is set in 2024 (...?) and it mentions Stanleys and Starbucks, and other things that are popular right now.
Also, I love how part of the thriller part is her haunted by the guilt and ghost of Alana. For example, here’s a little update I made:
September 28, 2024 –
67.0% "I thought this wouldn’t be scary. Even tho it sayed “ghost story” I thought it was her imaginary ghosts haunting her or never leaving her bc of guilt.
But this is one of the most scary books I’ve read. I’ve read The Hunger Games, Legend, and other bloody, violent books that don’t compare to this bc with those books I can laugh it off. But this problem happens in real life. And this is scary as heck
Yeah. I loved it, despite calling it scary and everything. The spooky vibes are perfect for a last minute Halloween read. The book is set in the last week of Maya’s senior year in high school, so you could read it then, or maybe in June for pride month
Also, nobody can describe how sad I was when I went to my library and two copies of this book wasn’t checked out
Now, you may be wondering “why did she rate this 4.5 if she loved it so much?” Well, the beginning was a tad bit too slow for my taste, plus I predicted a big plot twist and a small little detail, and since I’m trying to be a harsh reviewer/rater, I took away half a star. But if I was merely rating on vibes this would be getting 5 stars
I wish I could get something extra, an unnecessary sequel, or novella, just something that lets me know how Maya’s doing even though the epilogue wrapped everything up 😭
┕━━━━━━━━━»•» 🌺«•«━━━━┙
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ ❝ In my dreams, you’re a wildfire. Beautiful from a distance, but you destroy everything you touch. ❞ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
┍━━━━━»•» relatability 🌺«•«━┑
Usually, if I found a book relatable it would be in the ‘overall thoughts’ section. But this book. This freaking book. I could rant on for hours how relatable and gut-wrenching this book is, but alas, I only have so much time to write this review before remembering that I have homework. So, here I go. I’m straight, so I can’t talk about this book couple–relationship wise, but I can talk about this book friendship wise. I could relate Maya so much, and I just want to hug her !! My girl’s been through so much, she deserves the world and more. I found this so relatable (naw, really?) so much that I sobbed and was just in utter shock by how much I found myself in Maya. Near the end of the book, it talks about how even if you think you need them to live, you don’t. News flash: I thought that I needed them. Mind you, I haven’t even dated nor am I lesbian so the way I related to this book so much in friendships is crazy !!
Also, the anxiety and depression awareness is amazing. I felt seen, reading this. And Maya having anxiety/panic attacks made me not feel alone. I get those rarely, but when I do I try to drown people out, and everything becomes weird. And Maya’s severe depression 🥺 my girl’s been through everything I have, and I applaud Kennedy for not being afraid to add this in her book, and the way she executes it>>>>
┕━━━━━━━━━»•» 🌺«•«━━━━┙
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ ❝ When someone loves you, they don’t hurt you on purpose. ❞ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
┍━━━━━»•» plot/synopsis 🌺«•«━┑
Maya, a girl who hasn’t seen ghosts since she was a child, has been Alana’s girlfriend for four years. She finally summons up the courage to break up with her, leaving their toxic relationship behind near the end of senior year on a hiking trail. Then Alana goes missing, causing Maya to worry that it’s her fault. She thinks Alana’s playing one of her twisted games in the result of their falling out, until she sees her ghost. Alana gives her an ultimatum: help her with one of her twisted, evil ideas, or Alana figures out a way to blame her death on Maya. And even Maya knows that she’s the obvious suspect, and Alana being the daughter of rich parents doesn’t help. Maya needs to figure out how to get rid of Alana, she’ll never truly leave, not if she’s a ghost, and figure out how to get her life back together, fixing past relationships along the way.
Throughout the book, there are ‘interludes,’ little snippets of Maya’s past we get every once in a while, foreshadowing how she ended up in the bad situation she’s in when the book is set.
┕━━━━━━━━━»•» 🌺«•«━━━━┙
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ ❝ If you think you need them like flames need oxygen, gasping, drowning, I want to tell you that you are wrong. You survive on your own. Nobody else props you up and nobody else can take credit for your triumphs. ❞ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
┍━━━━━»•» character breakdown 🌺«•«━┑
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Maya Rosier
“They sent me here because I seemed depressed, I ‘wouldn’t eat.’ Like I was refusing or something. It wasn’t that. I couldn’t eat. Every single thing made me nauseous and that’s because of you. I’m scared all the time.”
I know I already said this, but this girl deserves the world and more !! I found myself throughout the book wanting to give her a hug and wanting to fix all her problems for her 🥺 Nobody deserves to be in a toxic relationship <3 Unpopular opinion, but I loved her snarky attitude. And her having anxiety, panic attacks, and having to be on meds made this modern and relatable !! The author did an amazing job making this book and crafting these characters. I could not make such awonderful realistic fmc. Because let’s be real, most authors make their characters as great and likeable as they could possibly be, but sometimes, no, most of the time I need a realistic, down to earth girl who isn’t perfect—which actually does sound perfect to me, at least for books
⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Alana Murray
“What did I tell you? People always leave. But I will never leave you.”
At first I didn’t like her, complaining about Maya crying too much and stuff like that, but then girl did some really crazy things which get revealed later in the book. I have to admit, the problems with her at the beginning of the book sounded like what a really messed up high schooler would do if they’re well–certainly something, but then towards the end they started getting unrealistic, no, stuff that’s crazy because sadly it could very much happen, but yeah. Alana was a new level of toxic and I think that toxic women in relationships get overlooked. It can happen guys.
My fave things abt/with Alana in this book:
-she reads fantasy novels
-she wasn’t Maya’s girlfriend during the last part of her life
-she’s dead
-she got karma
-she was found out
❦.♱ʚ🛸 Rowan
“Once upon a time, there was a princess. She had everything: a mother, the queen, who loved her more than life itself. A father, the king, who traveled far and wide to go on adventures and quests. And yet, she was never happy. Her mother always had one foot out the door. Her father stopped coming home. The princess would make friends, and then they would leave. She would fall in love, but it was all wrong, every single time.”
Just like I said for Maya, Rowan deserves the world. And I just love her attitude. She’s everything that I aspire to be and more !! She’s actually so cool and nice, and I just really like her, okay? I cannot emphasize enough how much I like her !! The gestures she did for Maya had me crying and giggling and going through all the emotions. And she was so nice to Maya even though she barely even knew her. And when Maya had a panic attack she didn’t overreact or make a big deal about it, didn’t think twice and just got her out of there. Now that **glances over to Marissa Meyer** is the goal that you strive for when you’re making a female character and/or love interest. Rowan is the girl I want to be but know that I won’t get close to because I’m just a girl
୨♡୧ Jazmine Reyes
“You know what I’d tell my friends? When I was eighteen, I lost my mom. When I was twenty-three, I lost my sister. (....) But now I can tell them that when I was twenty-seven, my sister came back to me.”
She was so patient and understanding with Maya, she’s such a great older sister <333 I need a Jazmine (and Rowan) in my life. Jazmine luckily didn’t even hold grudges against Maya, and tried to fix things with her.
┕━━━━━━━━━»•» 🌺«•«━━━━┙
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ ❝ I love you, and that will be enough. Forever. You love me, and that will be enough. For now. ❞ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
┍━━━━━»•» the writing 🌺«•«━┑
I’m highly convinced that the author had some pixie dust that she sprinkled on her computer which caused this book to be so good, or at least the writing. Because the writing? Spectacular. Whenever I say how much I love Kennedy’s writing in this book, it’s an understatement. I mean, those quotes spoke so much to me, especially the one at the very end of the book (not counting epilogue), I was sobbing. I’m most certainly being repetitive right now, but I don’t care. This book is a masterpiece. Kennedy writes beautifully.
And the way she can add drama without making this cringe, weird, or like some weird teen tv show high school drama? Jenny Han could learn something if she read this.
┕━━━━━━━━━»•» 🌺«•«━━━━┙
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ ❝ But I want to make sure you’re clear that there are versions of abuse that are different from what you might be thinking of: hitting, kicking, bruising, swearing. Sometimes in a relationship, one person will demean and criticize the other by manipulating their partner’s emotions. That’s emotional abuse. ❞ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
┍━━━━━»•» abuse representation 🌺«•«━┑
As you could tell from the quote above this section, this book explores emotional abuse. It’s nice to see for a change that women can be abusive and some people had to go through that, and that being abusive might not be something that you can see, but getting into someone’s head.
And I love how Maya healed but still thought about Alana. Because let’s be for real right now, you used to love her. And I love how Maya acknowledges that Alana did horrible things but knows not to think of her as terrible, but that she was used to be kind. The quote following this section of the review and the very last quote proves how well the author did with this task.
I applaud Kennedy for stepping up and making a change by breaking the stereotypes and bringing awareness to this topic. That’s what I think is so special about this book, and I love it. It’s different and modern and I love it.
┕━━━━━━━━━»•» 🌺«•«━━━━┙
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ ❝ We were two girls who loved each other until it became easier to hurt each other. ❞ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
┍━━━━━»•» relationships 🌺«•«━┑
Maya x Alana
Whelp, into the trash you go !! It’s sad to hear Maya talk about how things used to be, and how it ended in ashes. I mean, the quote right above this section !! Truly heartbreaking.
Maya x Jazmine
Awww I’m so glad they made up !! It warmed my heart to see these two trying not to cross lines and find a way back to each other after so many years. Also, they’re technically half-sisters but who cares?
Maya x Rowan
Okay, but literally the only song that went through my head when they were in the same room was “Uptown Girl.” I mean, it’s the perfect song to describe these two !! Even though (I think) they’re just friends, they’re goals. Literally goals. I love them and no one can change my mind. Some scenes with them I was giggling, crying, getting second-hand embarrassment, all the feels. And I like how the relationship didn’t escalate to romance, so that Maya would still grieve despite all the hurt from Alana, and have a friendship Alana couldn’t ruin.
┕━━━━━━━━━»•» 🌺«•«━━━━┙
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ ❝ I lay them down on a bed of lilies and soft dirt, those girls we used to be. I bury them so that I can rise again. ❞ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
┍━━━━━»•» content warnings 🌺«•«━┑
ೃ⁀➷ language~ the characters do swear, and there is cr@p, f***, s***
ೃ⁀➷ alcohol/smoking~ I don’t think there is any smoking, but Maya’s older sister drinks wine with her friends (off-page, and doesn’t act rash)
ೃ⁀➷ violence~ Maya does get mad towards the end of the book reasonably, but does fight someone because of it
ೃ⁀➷ trigger warnings~on-page panic attacks, emotional abuse, abusive relationship, mentions of homophobia (minor characters, no side characters or main characters are), anxiety (on-page), death of parent (off-page, in the past)
ೃ⁀➷ lgbtq~ obviously, if you try to avoid lgbtq in books this one is not for you 🤗 sorry 😭 if you’re okay with that stuff since the main character is lesbian, then I think you’ll enjoy this one !! I’ve never dated and I’m straight, but this book has a huge effect on me
┕━━━━━━━━━»•» 🌺«•«━━━━┙
pre-read 🌺🌻
It isn’t quite October so I’m saving all of my ghost/horror stories for next month, but I still wanted something a little bit scary and I think nothing more scary is trying to let go of a toxic person. The synopsis has me hooked. Can’t wait to start !!
Note: this is not a sapphic romance, but a thriller. This explores mental health, toxic relationships, anxiety, panic attacks. I suggest reading trigger warnings (I’ll have some at the end of this review) before opening this book if you’re sensitive to those types of things.
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ ❝ That was the first time she said those words to me, but they would become our mantra. A promise. A vow. I will never leave you. I will never, ever leave you. ❞ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
┍━━━━━»•» overall thoughts 🌺«•«━┑
Where do I start? I’m literally at a loss for words. Even if I spent hours picking out words from Webster’s Dictionary I still wouldn’t be able to express how much I love this book. It altered my brain chemistry or something like that.
I have to admit, it took me a while to get into this book, and 100 pages contemplated whether or not I should DNF this book, and I don’t know what told me to go on, but whatever did, I thank with all my heart, because this was amazing. Once the plot started picking up, I became addicted, my eyes glued to the pages of this masterpiece. I couldn’t put it down Like, seriously. I was bored for a while, decided I’ll continue reading it one weekend, and flew through it. I read so much on that life-changing Saturday. I actually finished it, which is crazy because I usually never finish books that fast nowadays (I would give anything to read books like I did in February).
I really appreciated the writing. It was so good, especially for a debut. The only thing that I think one might not like about it is that if you don’t like books with modern components, I don’t think this one's for you. I think the book is set in 2024 (...?) and it mentions Stanleys and Starbucks, and other things that are popular right now.
Also, I love how part of the thriller part is her haunted by the guilt and ghost of Alana. For example, here’s a little update I made:
September 28, 2024 –
67.0% "I thought this wouldn’t be scary. Even tho it sayed “ghost story” I thought it was her imaginary ghosts haunting her or never leaving her bc of guilt.
But this is one of the most scary books I’ve read. I’ve read The Hunger Games, Legend, and other bloody, violent books that don’t compare to this bc with those books I can laugh it off. But this problem happens in real life. And this is scary as heck
Yeah. I loved it, despite calling it scary and everything. The spooky vibes are perfect for a last minute Halloween read. The book is set in the last week of Maya’s senior year in high school, so you could read it then, or maybe in June for pride month
Also, nobody can describe how sad I was when I went to my library and two copies of this book wasn’t checked out
Now, you may be wondering “why did she rate this 4.5 if she loved it so much?” Well, the beginning was a tad bit too slow for my taste, plus I predicted a big plot twist and a small little detail, and since I’m trying to be a harsh reviewer/rater, I took away half a star. But if I was merely rating on vibes this would be getting 5 stars
I wish I could get something extra, an unnecessary sequel, or novella, just something that lets me know how Maya’s doing even though the epilogue wrapped everything up 😭
┕━━━━━━━━━»•» 🌺«•«━━━━┙
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ ❝ In my dreams, you’re a wildfire. Beautiful from a distance, but you destroy everything you touch. ❞ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
┍━━━━━»•» relatability 🌺«•«━┑
Usually, if I found a book relatable it would be in the ‘overall thoughts’ section. But this book. This freaking book. I could rant on for hours how relatable and gut-wrenching this book is, but alas, I only have so much time to write this review before remembering that I have homework. So, here I go. I’m straight, so I can’t talk about this book couple–relationship wise, but I can talk about this book friendship wise. I could relate Maya so much, and I just want to hug her !! My girl’s been through so much, she deserves the world and more. I found this so relatable (naw, really?) so much that I sobbed and was just in utter shock by how much I found myself in Maya. Near the end of the book, it talks about how even if you think you need them to live, you don’t. News flash: I thought that I needed them. Mind you, I haven’t even dated nor am I lesbian so the way I related to this book so much in friendships is crazy !!
Also, the anxiety and depression awareness is amazing. I felt seen, reading this. And Maya having anxiety/panic attacks made me not feel alone. I get those rarely, but when I do I try to drown people out, and everything becomes weird. And Maya’s severe depression 🥺 my girl’s been through everything I have, and I applaud Kennedy for not being afraid to add this in her book, and the way she executes it>>>>
┕━━━━━━━━━»•» 🌺«•«━━━━┙
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ ❝ When someone loves you, they don’t hurt you on purpose. ❞ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
┍━━━━━»•» plot/synopsis 🌺«•«━┑
Maya, a girl who hasn’t seen ghosts since she was a child, has been Alana’s girlfriend for four years. She finally summons up the courage to break up with her, leaving their toxic relationship behind near the end of senior year on a hiking trail. Then Alana goes missing, causing Maya to worry that it’s her fault. She thinks Alana’s playing one of her twisted games in the result of their falling out, until she sees her ghost. Alana gives her an ultimatum: help her with one of her twisted, evil ideas, or Alana figures out a way to blame her death on Maya. And even Maya knows that she’s the obvious suspect, and Alana being the daughter of rich parents doesn’t help. Maya needs to figure out how to get rid of Alana, she’ll never truly leave, not if she’s a ghost, and figure out how to get her life back together, fixing past relationships along the way.
Throughout the book, there are ‘interludes,’ little snippets of Maya’s past we get every once in a while, foreshadowing how she ended up in the bad situation she’s in when the book is set.
┕━━━━━━━━━»•» 🌺«•«━━━━┙
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ ❝ If you think you need them like flames need oxygen, gasping, drowning, I want to tell you that you are wrong. You survive on your own. Nobody else props you up and nobody else can take credit for your triumphs. ❞ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
┍━━━━━»•» character breakdown 🌺«•«━┑
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Maya Rosier
“They sent me here because I seemed depressed, I ‘wouldn’t eat.’ Like I was refusing or something. It wasn’t that. I couldn’t eat. Every single thing made me nauseous and that’s because of you. I’m scared all the time.”
I know I already said this, but this girl deserves the world and more !! I found myself throughout the book wanting to give her a hug and wanting to fix all her problems for her 🥺 Nobody deserves to be in a toxic relationship <3 Unpopular opinion, but I loved her snarky attitude. And her having anxiety, panic attacks, and having to be on meds made this modern and relatable !! The author did an amazing job making this book and crafting these characters. I could not make such a
⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ Alana Murray
“What did I tell you? People always leave. But I will never leave you.”
At first I didn’t like her, complaining about Maya crying too much and stuff like that, but then girl did some really crazy things which get revealed later in the book. I have to admit, the problems with her at the beginning of the book sounded like what a really messed up high schooler would do if they’re well–certainly something, but then towards the end they started getting unrealistic, no, stuff that’s crazy because sadly it could very much happen, but yeah. Alana was a new level of toxic and I think that toxic women in relationships get overlooked. It can happen guys.
My fave things abt/with Alana in this book:
-she reads fantasy novels
-she wasn’t Maya’s girlfriend during the last part of her life
-she’s dead
-she got karma
-she was found out
❦.♱ʚ🛸 Rowan
“Once upon a time, there was a princess. She had everything: a mother, the queen, who loved her more than life itself. A father, the king, who traveled far and wide to go on adventures and quests. And yet, she was never happy. Her mother always had one foot out the door. Her father stopped coming home. The princess would make friends, and then they would leave. She would fall in love, but it was all wrong, every single time.”
Just like I said for Maya, Rowan deserves the world. And I just love her attitude. She’s everything that I aspire to be and more !! She’s actually so cool and nice, and I just really like her, okay? I cannot emphasize enough how much I like her !! The gestures she did for Maya had me crying and giggling and going through all the emotions. And she was so nice to Maya even though she barely even knew her. And when Maya had a panic attack she didn’t overreact or make a big deal about it, didn’t think twice and just got her out of there. Now that **glances over to Marissa Meyer** is the goal that you strive for when you’re making a female character and/or love interest. Rowan is the girl I want to be but know that I won’t get close to because I’m just a girl
୨♡୧ Jazmine Reyes
“You know what I’d tell my friends? When I was eighteen, I lost my mom. When I was twenty-three, I lost my sister. (....) But now I can tell them that when I was twenty-seven, my sister came back to me.”
She was so patient and understanding with Maya, she’s such a great older sister <333 I need a Jazmine (and Rowan) in my life. Jazmine luckily didn’t even hold grudges against Maya, and tried to fix things with her.
┕━━━━━━━━━»•» 🌺«•«━━━━┙
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ ❝ I love you, and that will be enough. Forever. You love me, and that will be enough. For now. ❞ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
┍━━━━━»•» the writing 🌺«•«━┑
I’m highly convinced that the author had some pixie dust that she sprinkled on her computer which caused this book to be so good, or at least the writing. Because the writing? Spectacular. Whenever I say how much I love Kennedy’s writing in this book, it’s an understatement. I mean, those quotes spoke so much to me, especially the one at the very end of the book (not counting epilogue), I was sobbing. I’m most certainly being repetitive right now, but I don’t care. This book is a masterpiece. Kennedy writes beautifully.
And the way she can add drama without making this cringe, weird, or like some weird teen tv show high school drama? Jenny Han could learn something if she read this.
┕━━━━━━━━━»•» 🌺«•«━━━━┙
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ ❝ But I want to make sure you’re clear that there are versions of abuse that are different from what you might be thinking of: hitting, kicking, bruising, swearing. Sometimes in a relationship, one person will demean and criticize the other by manipulating their partner’s emotions. That’s emotional abuse. ❞ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
┍━━━━━»•» abuse representation 🌺«•«━┑
As you could tell from the quote above this section, this book explores emotional abuse. It’s nice to see for a change that women can be abusive and some people had to go through that, and that being abusive might not be something that you can see, but getting into someone’s head.
And I love how Maya healed but still thought about Alana. Because let’s be for real right now, you used to love her. And I love how Maya acknowledges that Alana did horrible things but knows not to think of her as terrible, but that she was used to be kind. The quote following this section of the review and the very last quote proves how well the author did with this task.
I applaud Kennedy for stepping up and making a change by breaking the stereotypes and bringing awareness to this topic. That’s what I think is so special about this book, and I love it. It’s different and modern and I love it.
┕━━━━━━━━━»•» 🌺«•«━━━━┙
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ ❝ We were two girls who loved each other until it became easier to hurt each other. ❞ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
┍━━━━━»•» relationships 🌺«•«━┑
Maya x Alana
Whelp, into the trash you go !! It’s sad to hear Maya talk about how things used to be, and how it ended in ashes. I mean, the quote right above this section !! Truly heartbreaking.
Maya x Jazmine
Awww I’m so glad they made up !! It warmed my heart to see these two trying not to cross lines and find a way back to each other after so many years. Also, they’re technically half-sisters but who cares?
Maya x Rowan
Okay, but literally the only song that went through my head when they were in the same room was “Uptown Girl.” I mean, it’s the perfect song to describe these two !! Even though (I think) they’re just friends, they’re goals. Literally goals. I love them and no one can change my mind. Some scenes with them I was giggling, crying, getting second-hand embarrassment, all the feels. And I like how the relationship didn’t escalate to romance, so that Maya would still grieve despite all the hurt from Alana, and have a friendship Alana couldn’t ruin.
┕━━━━━━━━━»•» 🌺«•«━━━━┙
‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ ❝ I lay them down on a bed of lilies and soft dirt, those girls we used to be. I bury them so that I can rise again. ❞ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊
┍━━━━━»•» content warnings 🌺«•«━┑
ೃ⁀➷ language~ the characters do swear, and there is cr@p, f***, s***
ೃ⁀➷ alcohol/smoking~ I don’t think there is any smoking, but Maya’s older sister drinks wine with her friends (off-page, and doesn’t act rash)
ೃ⁀➷ violence~ Maya does get mad towards the end of the book reasonably, but does fight someone because of it
ೃ⁀➷ trigger warnings~on-page panic attacks, emotional abuse, abusive relationship, mentions of homophobia (minor characters, no side characters or main characters are), anxiety (on-page), death of parent (off-page, in the past)
ೃ⁀➷ lgbtq~ obviously, if you try to avoid lgbtq in books this one is not for you 🤗 sorry 😭 if you’re okay with that stuff since the main character is lesbian, then I think you’ll enjoy this one !! I’ve never dated and I’m straight, but this book has a huge effect on me
┕━━━━━━━━━»•» 🌺«•«━━━━┙
pre-read 🌺🌻
It isn’t quite October so I’m saving all of my ghost/horror stories for next month, but I still wanted something a little bit scary and I think nothing more scary is trying to let go of a toxic person. The synopsis has me hooked. Can’t wait to start !!
October 16, 2025
Hey! You! If you enjoyed this one I have a list for you:
-So Witches We Became by Jill Baguchinsky
-Bad Graces by Kyrie McCauley
-My Dearest Darkest by Kayla Cottingham
-Dead and the Dark by Courtney Gould
-The River Has Teeth by Erica Waters
a teen girl being haunted by the ghost of her toxic ex-girlfriend, who gives her a chilling ultimatum—help her possess another girl or go down for her murder.
-So Witches We Became by Jill Baguchinsky
-Bad Graces by Kyrie McCauley
-My Dearest Darkest by Kayla Cottingham
-Dead and the Dark by Courtney Gould
-The River Has Teeth by Erica Waters
a teen girl being haunted by the ghost of her toxic ex-girlfriend, who gives her a chilling ultimatum—help her possess another girl or go down for her murder.
October 28, 2023
I AM UNSTABLE PLEASE READ THIS
July 25, 2024
2024 reads: 204/250
i received an advanced review copy from the publisher via netgalley in exchange for an honest review. this did not affect my rating.
content warnings: emotional abuse, anxiety, panic attacks, past death of parent
after four years of dating alana, and with high school graduation around the corner, maya is scared to consider the idea of life outside her toxic relationship. finally, she finds the courage to break up with alana on a hiking trip. but while maya comes back from the trip, alana doesn’t…now, alana’s ghost is haunting maya, pressuring her into helping her possess someone, or else maya will go down for alana’s death.
when i first read the description of this book, i was immediately hooked. i’m so grateful i got a chance to read and review this book early, and it’s not one i’ll soon forget. i really felt for maya. she’s centered her life around alana these past years, even cutting some people off because alana told her they were bad for her. and of course, maya wanted to be done with alana, but she didn’t want her dead. even in death, though, alana manipulates and abuses maya. i appreciated how this subject was handled with care and how maya grew into her own person throughout the story.
i received an advanced review copy from the publisher via netgalley in exchange for an honest review. this did not affect my rating.
content warnings: emotional abuse, anxiety, panic attacks, past death of parent
after four years of dating alana, and with high school graduation around the corner, maya is scared to consider the idea of life outside her toxic relationship. finally, she finds the courage to break up with alana on a hiking trip. but while maya comes back from the trip, alana doesn’t…now, alana’s ghost is haunting maya, pressuring her into helping her possess someone, or else maya will go down for alana’s death.
when i first read the description of this book, i was immediately hooked. i’m so grateful i got a chance to read and review this book early, and it’s not one i’ll soon forget. i really felt for maya. she’s centered her life around alana these past years, even cutting some people off because alana told her they were bad for her. and of course, maya wanted to be done with alana, but she didn’t want her dead. even in death, though, alana manipulates and abuses maya. i appreciated how this subject was handled with care and how maya grew into her own person throughout the story.
July 1, 2024
A love song to healing, vibrant with rage and recovery.
Alana - a perfect ghost of that person always in our ear. Tearing us down. Voicing our self hate.
Maya - isolated, desperate for freedom, a reconnection to her self; the painfulness, brutal truth of recovery and discovering your strength and survival
Just so beautifully done.
Alana - a perfect ghost of that person always in our ear. Tearing us down. Voicing our self hate.
Maya - isolated, desperate for freedom, a reconnection to her self; the painfulness, brutal truth of recovery and discovering your strength and survival
Just so beautifully done.
July 24, 2024
My pet peeve is when mystery novels' resolutions do not fit the clues sprinkled through their narratives. This book is guilty of this, on top of having such a dull middle part. But it's ultimately beautifully written and tells a compelling story.
The details that pissed me off:
The details that pissed me off:
June 8, 2024
I read this in one sitting so I can start by saying that I really enjoyed this one! It's a quick read and I couldn't put it down.
That said, this is probably sitting at a 3.5 stars for me: the plot gripped me more than the characters did (I thought Maya's character was well written and a great example of an imperfect victim, but the dialogue and other characters were a bit two dimensional) but the pacing didn't lull and that's where the writing really paid off. The ending didn't feel totally wrapped up to me, but the pacing was so clean that it didn't feel lacking until I started to write this review.
Worth saying: there is a lot of emotional abuse. For those who have had toxic friendships or relationships, please be aware of this going into the book. Alana is pretty much textbook emotional abuse and with no redeeming qualities and is horrible to Maya throughout - just when you think it can't get worse, it does. I'm not sure how to word this, but if the relationship was a bit less black and white and Alana was portrayed to have a few redeeming qualities, I'm not sure I'd have been able to handle it as it'd have been a bit too close to a few relationships/friendships I've been in. The story was about breaking free from an emotionally abusive relationship and, especially for a YA audience, does exactly what it set out to do.
2024 seems to be the year of sapphic YA stories and this is another one that I'd recommend!
Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Children's/Delacorte Press for the ARC.
That said, this is probably sitting at a 3.5 stars for me: the plot gripped me more than the characters did (I thought Maya's character was well written and a great example of an imperfect victim, but the dialogue and other characters were a bit two dimensional) but the pacing didn't lull and that's where the writing really paid off. The ending didn't feel totally wrapped up to me, but the pacing was so clean that it didn't feel lacking until I started to write this review.
Worth saying: there is a lot of emotional abuse. For those who have had toxic friendships or relationships, please be aware of this going into the book. Alana is pretty much textbook emotional abuse and with no redeeming qualities and is horrible to Maya throughout - just when you think it can't get worse, it does. I'm not sure how to word this, but if the relationship was a bit less black and white and Alana was portrayed to have a few redeeming qualities, I'm not sure I'd have been able to handle it as it'd have been a bit too close to a few relationships/friendships I've been in. The story was about breaking free from an emotionally abusive relationship and, especially for a YA audience, does exactly what it set out to do.
2024 seems to be the year of sapphic YA stories and this is another one that I'd recommend!
Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Children's/Delacorte Press for the ARC.
October 6, 2025
Best price per star I’ve ever had ($0.10 per star)
This was an impulse buy from the friends of the library book store so I wasn’t expecting too much. All I knew was it has a pretty cover, interesting premise and solid Goodreads score which was enough for me to give it a go. For those uninitiated the premise is that a the MC breaks up with their girlfriend and then proceeds to find out that said girlfriend died not to long after due to an unknown cause. The Ex, in ghost form, attempts to convince the MC to help her possess someone so they can be together again otherwise she will do everything in her ghosting power to get the MC blamed fir her death.
This may sound somewhat like a romance but it is far from that. The story is primarily about a toxic relationship and the horrible effects it has on someone’s sense of self-worth and level of control of their life. Using a haunting as a metaphor for this is absolutely genius. That wouldn’t mean anything though if it had a bland execution which thankfully it doesn’t. The MC here is really compelling and is written in a very genuine way. I don’t have any form of diagnosable anxiety nor have I ever been in a toxic relationship but after reading this book from her perspective it gave me a good idea of how it feels. The story never uses anxiety as a plot device but instead weaves it through the lead’s life as if it has infected every part of her. Her self doubt is realistic and only emphasizes the horror that is already brought on by the toxic relationship.
Horror being the operative word here. This is the first YA Horror book I’ve read and I think it nailed how to pull that combination of genres off. This story truly feels suffocating at times and every time the main character felt threatened it made me squirm a bit. Due to the subject matter it was able to make you truly uncomfortable without ever having to compromise due to being YA since toxic relationships and anxiety are things many young adults face. This is also helped by the fact that the book is able to acknowledge the complexity of the situation. Toxic relationships are able to exist because part of the victim does still love the assailant. Internally they are able to recognize the issues with the relationship, even if they try to ignore or suppress them, but it’s because they still love aspects of the assailant that makes them feel compelled to do that. This nuance is present in the story especially as it starts to hit the climax of the story.
So yeah, I loved this and would definitely recommend it if you are looking for a horror/thriller that isn’t your typical Steven King book.
This was an impulse buy from the friends of the library book store so I wasn’t expecting too much. All I knew was it has a pretty cover, interesting premise and solid Goodreads score which was enough for me to give it a go. For those uninitiated the premise is that a the MC breaks up with their girlfriend and then proceeds to find out that said girlfriend died not to long after due to an unknown cause. The Ex, in ghost form, attempts to convince the MC to help her possess someone so they can be together again otherwise she will do everything in her ghosting power to get the MC blamed fir her death.
This may sound somewhat like a romance but it is far from that. The story is primarily about a toxic relationship and the horrible effects it has on someone’s sense of self-worth and level of control of their life. Using a haunting as a metaphor for this is absolutely genius. That wouldn’t mean anything though if it had a bland execution which thankfully it doesn’t. The MC here is really compelling and is written in a very genuine way. I don’t have any form of diagnosable anxiety nor have I ever been in a toxic relationship but after reading this book from her perspective it gave me a good idea of how it feels. The story never uses anxiety as a plot device but instead weaves it through the lead’s life as if it has infected every part of her. Her self doubt is realistic and only emphasizes the horror that is already brought on by the toxic relationship.
Horror being the operative word here. This is the first YA Horror book I’ve read and I think it nailed how to pull that combination of genres off. This story truly feels suffocating at times and every time the main character felt threatened it made me squirm a bit. Due to the subject matter it was able to make you truly uncomfortable without ever having to compromise due to being YA since toxic relationships and anxiety are things many young adults face. This is also helped by the fact that the book is able to acknowledge the complexity of the situation. Toxic relationships are able to exist because part of the victim does still love the assailant. Internally they are able to recognize the issues with the relationship, even if they try to ignore or suppress them, but it’s because they still love aspects of the assailant that makes them feel compelled to do that. This nuance is present in the story especially as it starts to hit the climax of the story.
So yeah, I loved this and would definitely recommend it if you are looking for a horror/thriller that isn’t your typical Steven King book.
July 27, 2024
Wow! Unexpected 5 stars! This book consumed me for two days! I cannot believe this is Kennedy’s debut.
The story is gripping and psychologically frightening. I love how Kennedy portrays hauntings, not just in the metaphysical form but also through grief, trauma, and memories. However, the story isn't all dark; she also sheds light on positive ways to help someone cope with panic and anxiety episodes (yay Rowan!), examples of healthy relationships, and the transformative power of healing.
Highlights: ✨toxic relationships ✨dark academia ✨emotional abuse ✨ghost story ✨possession ✨mental health rep ✨sapphic romance
I paired the audio with the physical. Brittany Pressley delivers a fantastic narration, breathing life into Maya's anxiety, panic, worry, and second-guessing while also portraying Alana as a toxic, condescending ex-girlfriend who haunts Maya. Even while reading the physical, I heard Brittany’s voices in my head! If you love audiobooks, I highly recommend this one. But honestly, both formats fall in the “love” category for me!
The story is gripping and psychologically frightening. I love how Kennedy portrays hauntings, not just in the metaphysical form but also through grief, trauma, and memories. However, the story isn't all dark; she also sheds light on positive ways to help someone cope with panic and anxiety episodes (yay Rowan!), examples of healthy relationships, and the transformative power of healing.
Highlights: ✨toxic relationships ✨dark academia ✨emotional abuse ✨ghost story ✨possession ✨mental health rep ✨sapphic romance
I paired the audio with the physical. Brittany Pressley delivers a fantastic narration, breathing life into Maya's anxiety, panic, worry, and second-guessing while also portraying Alana as a toxic, condescending ex-girlfriend who haunts Maya. Even while reading the physical, I heard Brittany’s voices in my head! If you love audiobooks, I highly recommend this one. But honestly, both formats fall in the “love” category for me!
February 3, 2025
An interesting ya sapphic 'mystery' that explores abusive relationships, discovering yourself/your inner strength & how trauma can cling to you.
July 14, 2024
Wow, Kara Kennedy! What a fantastic debut! I can't recall how this book got on my radar, but I'm so glad to have received an ARC from NetGalley and the publisher.
This YA novel was right up my alley. It has everything: emotional abuse, trauma, a dead mom, ghosts, new friendships, and healing. I was frustrated with Maya, our protagonist, at times, but it was typical YA stuff (emotional immaturity, cringing at her behavior).
The writing is often beautiful here, in a way that adds to the novel rather than being overwritten and distracting. The relationship between Maya and Alana was very well done--it felt real and vibrant. I loved the way we went backwards and forwards in time. It wasn't heavy handed or predictable.
At times, some aspects didn't make sense. Like why could Rowan see Alana later on when she hadn't been able to see ghosts before? But the logistics don't matter as much as the story, here. It's an excellent story about healing and finally being able to know and be yourself with your whole heart, facing the future unafraid and in control.
This YA novel was right up my alley. It has everything: emotional abuse, trauma, a dead mom, ghosts, new friendships, and healing. I was frustrated with Maya, our protagonist, at times, but it was typical YA stuff (emotional immaturity, cringing at her behavior).
The writing is often beautiful here, in a way that adds to the novel rather than being overwritten and distracting. The relationship between Maya and Alana was very well done--it felt real and vibrant. I loved the way we went backwards and forwards in time. It wasn't heavy handed or predictable.
At times, some aspects didn't make sense. Like why could Rowan see Alana later on when she hadn't been able to see ghosts before? But the logistics don't matter as much as the story, here. It's an excellent story about healing and finally being able to know and be yourself with your whole heart, facing the future unafraid and in control.
May 27, 2025
This book was definitely different from what I've been reading but it did not disappoint. It did a great job building atmosphere and while I will say my primary complaint is it lacking some depth as far as relationships go and making the characters feel like flesh and blood. That being said it clearly wasn't that bad because I still really enjoyed reading it even if it stressed me out sometimes!
July 18, 2024
Sometimes all it takes to make the ordinary into something tragic and story-worthy are a few little facts that aren’t visible to the naked eye. In Kara A. Kennedy’s debut YA novel, we’re ushered into the middle of a relationship teetering on the edge of what could be an explosive breakup. Introducing the main character in such a way that she is obviously on the brink of something life changing makes for a strong beginning, giving readers something that grabs their attention from the first few pages.
You might not be aware of it, but chances are, you know a couple like Maya and Alana. Friends for a lifetime who started dating once they realized they were fated for each other. A pair whose lives are so meshed together, they can’t see the situation they’re in because it’s not even on their radar. Though they’re just seniors in high school, Maya is realizing that the one person who she thought she’d love forever is toxic. Her family and friends that know her and see her day to day life have told her how they feel, and though Maya’s heart is pounding, she can’t turn back now.
Their breakup was going to be legendary in their small town anyway, but when Maya doesn’t hear from Alana several hours after she abandoned her in a very public area by walking away from yet another verbal lashing she knew would be coming, she gets worried something happened to her. Despite knowing it’s the best choice for the future and trying to let her go, Maya begins frantically trying to track her girlfriend down. Soon everyone will know that she was the last person to see Alana alive and Maya is terrified someone overheard their slightly emotionally escalated conversation on the hiking trail she confronted her on.
Maya definitely doesn’t seem like the type of person to do something rash and permanent like making Alana disappear forever, but then we all know how thrilling it can be to have an unreliable narrator, and just because Maya is portrayed as a good girl who is still in love with the person she just tried to break up with doesn’t mean it’s the whole truth. The addition of the fact that Alana is appearing as a ghost at the most inconvenient times is a detail that Maya is aware means something important, but she’s not willing to believe the story Alana is giving her about her fate is true. After all, she’s never known if ghosts are actually real, she just knows sometimes she sees them. Soon, everyone in her small town will be gossiping and spreading misinformation, so Maya decides it’s a good time to reconnect with the sister she cut ties with when Alana accused her of relying on her too much after the death of their mother. Little does she know that what she considers a small decision that might take her mind off things for a while will be seen as suspect when Alana’s body is found not far from where Maya left her the day of the breakup…
I’m always on the lookout for exciting new YA reads and I Will Never Leave You is a book that grabbed my attention right away and held it until the very last page. I hope you, too, will find this to be an entertaining read that is a bit eye-opening to what a toxic relationship can look like from both an insider and outsider perspective.
You might not be aware of it, but chances are, you know a couple like Maya and Alana. Friends for a lifetime who started dating once they realized they were fated for each other. A pair whose lives are so meshed together, they can’t see the situation they’re in because it’s not even on their radar. Though they’re just seniors in high school, Maya is realizing that the one person who she thought she’d love forever is toxic. Her family and friends that know her and see her day to day life have told her how they feel, and though Maya’s heart is pounding, she can’t turn back now.
Their breakup was going to be legendary in their small town anyway, but when Maya doesn’t hear from Alana several hours after she abandoned her in a very public area by walking away from yet another verbal lashing she knew would be coming, she gets worried something happened to her. Despite knowing it’s the best choice for the future and trying to let her go, Maya begins frantically trying to track her girlfriend down. Soon everyone will know that she was the last person to see Alana alive and Maya is terrified someone overheard their slightly emotionally escalated conversation on the hiking trail she confronted her on.
Maya definitely doesn’t seem like the type of person to do something rash and permanent like making Alana disappear forever, but then we all know how thrilling it can be to have an unreliable narrator, and just because Maya is portrayed as a good girl who is still in love with the person she just tried to break up with doesn’t mean it’s the whole truth. The addition of the fact that Alana is appearing as a ghost at the most inconvenient times is a detail that Maya is aware means something important, but she’s not willing to believe the story Alana is giving her about her fate is true. After all, she’s never known if ghosts are actually real, she just knows sometimes she sees them. Soon, everyone in her small town will be gossiping and spreading misinformation, so Maya decides it’s a good time to reconnect with the sister she cut ties with when Alana accused her of relying on her too much after the death of their mother. Little does she know that what she considers a small decision that might take her mind off things for a while will be seen as suspect when Alana’s body is found not far from where Maya left her the day of the breakup…
I’m always on the lookout for exciting new YA reads and I Will Never Leave You is a book that grabbed my attention right away and held it until the very last page. I hope you, too, will find this to be an entertaining read that is a bit eye-opening to what a toxic relationship can look like from both an insider and outsider perspective.
dnf
August 1, 2024DNF at 20%. This book was not for me. Potential spoilers up to this point.
So from the start, I was wary about this book because the pacing is odd. At 20% in, we are JUST getting to the ghost part. And then, "interlude! 4 years ago!!" I was like "WHAT." So you don't even get to the actual plot of the story until 20% in, just an fyi. And who knows how long this interlude is - I just can't do this anymore.
I didn't really like how we get so much background and then it's kind of linear from the moment she has the fight with her gf. I actually feel like it'd have been better if we got the ghost portion earlier and then we had flashbacks where we got more information each time we flashed back instead of a linear timeline.
But what REALLY made me want to stop reading is two-fold:
1 We have a very weak-willed MC. I typically don't vibe with these characters. She was in a toxic relationship with this girl for 4 years and KNEW IT WAS TOXIC. Her FATHER knew it was toxic. Hell, 6 years ago, the MC says "I didn't like what this girl was saying." So... HOW do you let yourself be in this relationship when we SEE*** nothing good about Alanna. And that's my big qualm. We don't SEE Alanna being WORTH these 4 years of time? We're just told by the MC that she's "always there for her." Sure. Even when she's LAUGHING AT YOU IN CLASS. Good girlfriend right there. It seems like the MC is in therapy (because she has anxiety medication) so why was the gf never a topic of discussion at therapy? Why was this never brought up in FOUR YEARS?
I am not trying to be rude to anyone who has had a toxic relationship - I realize that sometimes it's difficult to realize the toxicity is present / to leave the toxic person. I am so sorry to anyone who has been in this situation. It's just not something I want to be reading about, especially when she realized the toxicity and chose to do nothing about it until this confrontation because she had no self-worth. This poor poor girl. :(
2 WHY DID SHE LIE TO THE POLICE.
At this point, when the police come to the MC's sister's house, they do not know that gf is dead. There is NO conceivable reason for the MC to lie about the situation. She went on a LEGITIMATE hike with her girlfriend. They had a fight. MC broke up with her and left her there to fend for herself. I can already feel the outcome of this lie and it's SO INCREDIBLY STUPID. By LYING about this, she becomes suspect number one. And she could have then told the police everything about her finding the gf's "phone app" showing the friend's house. Like.... how are you this dumb.
So I can't keep going here. I just know I will get SO angry at this MC the entire book. She was also VERY RUDE every chance she got. Probably due to her spending so much time with the toxic gf. The toxicity rubbed off on her. When she was talking to her sister's friend? WOW, I just kept swearing because MC was INCREDIBLY MEAN.
Ultimately, I think this will appeal to those who don't mind reading about this toxic relationship. I just can't do it anymore.
So from the start, I was wary about this book because the pacing is odd. At 20% in, we are JUST getting to the ghost part. And then, "interlude! 4 years ago!!" I was like "WHAT." So you don't even get to the actual plot of the story until 20% in, just an fyi. And who knows how long this interlude is - I just can't do this anymore.
I didn't really like how we get so much background and then it's kind of linear from the moment she has the fight with her gf. I actually feel like it'd have been better if we got the ghost portion earlier and then we had flashbacks where we got more information each time we flashed back instead of a linear timeline.
But what REALLY made me want to stop reading is two-fold:
1 We have a very weak-willed MC. I typically don't vibe with these characters. She was in a toxic relationship with this girl for 4 years and KNEW IT WAS TOXIC. Her FATHER knew it was toxic. Hell, 6 years ago, the MC says "I didn't like what this girl was saying." So... HOW do you let yourself be in this relationship when we SEE*** nothing good about Alanna. And that's my big qualm. We don't SEE Alanna being WORTH these 4 years of time? We're just told by the MC that she's "always there for her." Sure. Even when she's LAUGHING AT YOU IN CLASS. Good girlfriend right there. It seems like the MC is in therapy (because she has anxiety medication) so why was the gf never a topic of discussion at therapy? Why was this never brought up in FOUR YEARS?
I am not trying to be rude to anyone who has had a toxic relationship - I realize that sometimes it's difficult to realize the toxicity is present / to leave the toxic person. I am so sorry to anyone who has been in this situation. It's just not something I want to be reading about, especially when she realized the toxicity and chose to do nothing about it until this confrontation because she had no self-worth. This poor poor girl. :(
2 WHY DID SHE LIE TO THE POLICE.
At this point, when the police come to the MC's sister's house, they do not know that gf is dead. There is NO conceivable reason for the MC to lie about the situation. She went on a LEGITIMATE hike with her girlfriend. They had a fight. MC broke up with her and left her there to fend for herself. I can already feel the outcome of this lie and it's SO INCREDIBLY STUPID. By LYING about this, she becomes suspect number one. And she could have then told the police everything about her finding the gf's "phone app" showing the friend's house. Like.... how are you this dumb.
So I can't keep going here. I just know I will get SO angry at this MC the entire book. She was also VERY RUDE every chance she got. Probably due to her spending so much time with the toxic gf. The toxicity rubbed off on her. When she was talking to her sister's friend? WOW, I just kept swearing because MC was INCREDIBLY MEAN.
Ultimately, I think this will appeal to those who don't mind reading about this toxic relationship. I just can't do it anymore.
August 7, 2024
This book is ruinous. I was enthralled with this. I had to know what happened.
It can be summarised by "when the relationship is so toxic, your girlfriend/en-girlfriend literally haunts you"
I hated Alana. I know we are supposed to hate her, but I hated her so much. She was the tiny voice that causes you to doubt yourself.
I loved seeing Maya grow throughout this novel - I loved seeing how far she came compared to the beginning of the book.
Rowan had to be my favourite character though. I loved her and seeing her be the opposite to Alana.
This book handles so many complext topics, like grief, panic attacks, emotional abuse very well and the choice of language used helps to convey this. There is an explicit on-page panic attack and I felt a sense of suffocation whilst reading it.
I was gripped by the almost psychological thriller aspects that this book had.
For this to be Kennedy's debut, I will absolutely keep my eye out for what she writes next.
It can be summarised by "when the relationship is so toxic, your girlfriend/en-girlfriend literally haunts you"
I hated Alana. I know we are supposed to hate her, but I hated her so much. She was the tiny voice that causes you to doubt yourself.
I loved seeing Maya grow throughout this novel - I loved seeing how far she came compared to the beginning of the book.
Rowan had to be my favourite character though. I loved her and seeing her be the opposite to Alana.
This book handles so many complext topics, like grief, panic attacks, emotional abuse very well and the choice of language used helps to convey this. There is an explicit on-page panic attack and I felt a sense of suffocation whilst reading it.
I was gripped by the almost psychological thriller aspects that this book had.
For this to be Kennedy's debut, I will absolutely keep my eye out for what she writes next.
December 7, 2023
hello hello! i'm so thrilled that review copies of I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU are going out into the world, but that means it's also time for me to flee goodreads under the cover of night. my parting words:
content warnings for IWNLY: emotional abuse, anxiety, on-page panic attacks, death of a parent (off-page, in the past)
i truly hope that you enjoy reading maya, alana, and rowan's story. while this story deals with some tough topics, it's also a lot of fun (at least, i hope!) and writing it got me through some incredibly difficult times. if you're able to find a bit of yourself in maya's journey, i hope the story serves as a reminder that you are not alone.
salt your doorways!
<3 kara
content warnings for IWNLY: emotional abuse, anxiety, on-page panic attacks, death of a parent (off-page, in the past)
i truly hope that you enjoy reading maya, alana, and rowan's story. while this story deals with some tough topics, it's also a lot of fun (at least, i hope!) and writing it got me through some incredibly difficult times. if you're able to find a bit of yourself in maya's journey, i hope the story serves as a reminder that you are not alone.
salt your doorways!
<3 kara
March 3, 2025
“When someone loves you, they don’t hurt you on purpose. If you think you need them like flames need oxygen, gasping, drowning, I want to tell you that you are wrong. You survive on your own. Nobody else props you up, and nobody else can take credit for your triumph. You are the phoenix. Fire is always fire. It destroys, it obliterates. But you can always rise again.”
A nuanced portrayal of love, obsession and abuse through a YA lens. An amazing debut.
A nuanced portrayal of love, obsession and abuse through a YA lens. An amazing debut.
July 27, 2024
This was underwhelming. It’s not unenjoyable, but the characters are all very one-dimensional, the rules around the paranormal are inconsistent, and I just didn’t really care about the seemingly emotional story being told. I think teen readers will read this and like it well enough, but it just wasn't for me.
June 10, 2024
Thank you to netgalley and Delacorte Press for a digital arc in exchange for an honest review!
I absolutely loved I Will Never Leave You. Kara A. Kennedy comes out swinging in her debut novel, which is a ya ghost story thriller. I finished the book within two days because I could not put it down and, to be honest, I probably would have finished it sooner if I hadn't had plans during the day.
Kennedy has a gorgeous command of language—the prose itself is stunning, vivid, and lush. Every description of the setting felt like a mini-love letter to Southern California. I also felt like all the characters, especially our main character Maya, were so realistic. Maya's character, after all she went through, was messy and stress-inducing in the best way. I love when authors are able to interweave different mediums into their novel (i.e., podcasts, news reports, ect) and I Will Never Leave You did just that. Those moments of pulling the audience back into the bigger picture did a fantastic job of upping the stakes and keeping the pressure on.
And then there was the plot itself. I was racing to finish the novel the whole time and kept telling myself, "one more chapter and then it's time for bed." During the climax, I could feel my own anxiety spiking as well. Kennedy did a great job of laying out the groundwork as well—while the twists and turns were shocking, they weren't out of the blue, but worked with the little hints we got down the road. I also adored the weaving of trauma and healing into a ghost story and thought it was beautifully done.
Personally, I don't love when novels have modern references but with Maya, Alana, and most of the other characters being seniors in high school, I found I didn't mind it as much. But, this was a minor preference of mine that didn't actually detract from the plot.
This is a stunning debut from Kennedy and I look forward to reading her future work!
I absolutely loved I Will Never Leave You. Kara A. Kennedy comes out swinging in her debut novel, which is a ya ghost story thriller. I finished the book within two days because I could not put it down and, to be honest, I probably would have finished it sooner if I hadn't had plans during the day.
Kennedy has a gorgeous command of language—the prose itself is stunning, vivid, and lush. Every description of the setting felt like a mini-love letter to Southern California. I also felt like all the characters, especially our main character Maya, were so realistic. Maya's character, after all she went through, was messy and stress-inducing in the best way. I love when authors are able to interweave different mediums into their novel (i.e., podcasts, news reports, ect) and I Will Never Leave You did just that. Those moments of pulling the audience back into the bigger picture did a fantastic job of upping the stakes and keeping the pressure on.
And then there was the plot itself. I was racing to finish the novel the whole time and kept telling myself, "one more chapter and then it's time for bed." During the climax, I could feel my own anxiety spiking as well. Kennedy did a great job of laying out the groundwork as well—while the twists and turns were shocking, they weren't out of the blue, but worked with the little hints we got down the road. I also adored the weaving of trauma and healing into a ghost story and thought it was beautifully done.
Personally, I don't love when novels have modern references but with Maya, Alana, and most of the other characters being seniors in high school, I found I didn't mind it as much. But, this was a minor preference of mine that didn't actually detract from the plot.
This is a stunning debut from Kennedy and I look forward to reading her future work!
November 15, 2024
I discovered law professor Leigh Goodmark via Carmen Maria Machado's In the Dream House, and her words have stuck with me ever since:
Abuse does not need to result in physical injury to be isolating, debilitating, and traumatising. Domestic violence is rampant in many forms, some invisible. This book was awful to read due to how invisible and blatantly ignored the protagonist's experience with emotional abuse was.
Maya's ex-girlfriend was manipulative, demeaning, possessive and did not take no for an answer (not even as a ghost!). However, as the school's shining star and the daughter of a well-respected woman, this horrific ex was never held accountable. In fact, her going missing basically martyred her while Maya, caught adrift with no support circle from years of isolation, is regarded as unstable and strange.
It all sounds horrible, but I thought the book handled the story with honesty but also compassion. Every character is realistic and multi-faceted (including the horrible ex), and what an important issue to raise awareness in among young people, especially queer teenagers who find it incredibly difficult to have people believe in them.
"By elevating physical violence over the other facets of a battered woman’s experience, the legal system sets the standard by which the stories of battered women are judged. If there is no [deemed legal] assault, she is not a victim, regardless of how debilitating her experience has been, how complete her isolation, or how horrific the emotional abuse she has suffered. And by creating this kind of myopia about the nature of domestic violence, the legal system does battered women a grave injustice."
Abuse does not need to result in physical injury to be isolating, debilitating, and traumatising. Domestic violence is rampant in many forms, some invisible. This book was awful to read due to how invisible and blatantly ignored the protagonist's experience with emotional abuse was.
Maya's ex-girlfriend was manipulative, demeaning, possessive and did not take no for an answer (not even as a ghost!). However, as the school's shining star and the daughter of a well-respected woman, this horrific ex was never held accountable. In fact, her going missing basically martyred her while Maya, caught adrift with no support circle from years of isolation, is regarded as unstable and strange.
It all sounds horrible, but I thought the book handled the story with honesty but also compassion. Every character is realistic and multi-faceted (including the horrible ex), and what an important issue to raise awareness in among young people, especially queer teenagers who find it incredibly difficult to have people believe in them.
December 30, 2024
3.5 stars, rounded up. One thing that I enjoy as we see more diverse representation in books is the different stories we see. Not that there's anything wrong with an LGBTQIA+ happily ever after and not that it's not deserved, but we also know that not every romance ends that way. We know that not every diverse story is sunshine and rainbows. With more diverse representation, we get more human experiences and I love that.
This isn't a YA romance. It's more of a thriller, but it's not even truly that. It's the story of a girl who was in a toxic and emotionally abusive relationship with her best friend who died. It's about Maya learning that love doesn't fix everything and that she can break free from those unhealthy bonds. At the same time, it's heartbreaking for both Maya and Alana to come to terms with what has happened and to not have the real closure they deserved. (Yes, a good amount of that was Alana's fault.) This was surprisingly emotional in a lot of different ways and even though it's sort of a happy ending for Maya, it's a different type of happy ending.
This isn't a YA romance. It's more of a thriller, but it's not even truly that. It's the story of a girl who was in a toxic and emotionally abusive relationship with her best friend who died. It's about Maya learning that love doesn't fix everything and that she can break free from those unhealthy bonds. At the same time, it's heartbreaking for both Maya and Alana to come to terms with what has happened and to not have the real closure they deserved. (Yes, a good amount of that was Alana's fault.) This was surprisingly emotional in a lot of different ways and even though it's sort of a happy ending for Maya, it's a different type of happy ending.
June 29, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for this ARC in exchange for my honest review!!
“When someone loves you, they don’t hurt you on purpose.”
This book hit me in a way that was both frustrating and eye opening. Maya made me so mad at certain points when she was going along with Alana but it honestly just shows how manipulative Alana was. Your toxic/abusive ex coming back as a ghost to haunt you after you just broke up with them sounds like a nightmare.
Honestly Jazmine was my favorite character. She was such a good big sister. Maya’s dad seemed kind of absent but he also seemed to really care about and love Maya. Rowan and her mom were awesome and I’m glad that Maya had them as well.
The twist at the end I didn’t see coming and I’m really glad this book highlights how bad codependent relationships are. Maya didn’t want to hang out with or do anything with anyone but Alana. Alana successfully isolated all her friends and family and put herself as the only person in Maya’s life and it was terrifying to see. I really enjoyed this book and Maya’s character development and strength is admirable.
“When someone loves you, they don’t hurt you on purpose.”
This book hit me in a way that was both frustrating and eye opening. Maya made me so mad at certain points when she was going along with Alana but it honestly just shows how manipulative Alana was. Your toxic/abusive ex coming back as a ghost to haunt you after you just broke up with them sounds like a nightmare.
Honestly Jazmine was my favorite character. She was such a good big sister. Maya’s dad seemed kind of absent but he also seemed to really care about and love Maya. Rowan and her mom were awesome and I’m glad that Maya had them as well.
The twist at the end I didn’t see coming and I’m really glad this book highlights how bad codependent relationships are. Maya didn’t want to hang out with or do anything with anyone but Alana. Alana successfully isolated all her friends and family and put herself as the only person in Maya’s life and it was terrifying to see. I really enjoyed this book and Maya’s character development and strength is admirable.
August 1, 2024
I read this book in one sitting it was impossible to put down. Weaved with true rage and emotion Karas debut novel was unforgettable.
The storyline invoked so many feelings from sadness to anger as Maya navigates her relationship with Alana. It was clear early on Alana was controlling and manipulative so it was 10 x worse when Maya was faced with the ghost of her.
I felt like this story truly highlighted a lot of serious subjects - like living with an anxiety disorder and being in an abusive relationship. It was very real so definitely kudos to Kara for that.
The character development was on point and all the characters were relatable, I actually think there may be readers out there that will compare themselves to Maya and it may be a little bit of an eye opener to anyone experiencing some of the things Maya is
Alana was one of those characters that yes was superb but honestly so unlikable but that was kinda the point.
100% recommend this book however just check out some triggers like emotional abuse, death etc. Thank you to Delacorte press for providing this ARC via Netgalley, all thoughts and opinions are my own.
The storyline invoked so many feelings from sadness to anger as Maya navigates her relationship with Alana. It was clear early on Alana was controlling and manipulative so it was 10 x worse when Maya was faced with the ghost of her.
I felt like this story truly highlighted a lot of serious subjects - like living with an anxiety disorder and being in an abusive relationship. It was very real so definitely kudos to Kara for that.
The character development was on point and all the characters were relatable, I actually think there may be readers out there that will compare themselves to Maya and it may be a little bit of an eye opener to anyone experiencing some of the things Maya is
Alana was one of those characters that yes was superb but honestly so unlikable but that was kinda the point.
100% recommend this book however just check out some triggers like emotional abuse, death etc. Thank you to Delacorte press for providing this ARC via Netgalley, all thoughts and opinions are my own.
July 3, 2024
Haunting, sad and emotional. “I Will Never Leave You” is a promise between friends to lovers, Maya and Alana. “I Will Never Leave You” becomes a curse when Alana dies and appears to Maya in ghost form. Maya feels guilty because she met Alana in one of their favorite places, broke up with her and left her there without a ride home on what became the day Alana died. Now Alana starts haunting Maya and she’s a vengeful spirit. Alana was Maya’s only friend because Alana wanted it that way. An emotionally manipulative and controlling partner led to struggles with anxiety and depression for Maya. She needs to find strength before Alana finishes her plans of possession of new friend, Rowan. I Will Never Leave You by Kara A. Kennedy becomes a battle cry for independence. ARC was provided by Delacorte Press via NetGalley. I received an advance review copy and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 23, 2024
I was provided an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Maya can see ghosts but that's a detail. Maya's entire life has been about Alana, her girlfriend and before that her best friend. But she breaks up with her and leaves her on a hiking trail. But then Alana disappears. And Maya's entire life is turned upside down. What if perfect, sweet Alana wasn't as great as everyone makes her out to be??
This was incredible and enraging and amazing. I loved every single second of this, even the breaks I had to take cause it made me so mad. I really lived it all from the very first line to the last one. It kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time and I could not stop reading. I honestly loved everything about this and I don't want to say too much but y'all should read it.
An amazing book all over. Kara A. Kennedy is one more author that I'll have to keep an eye on!
Maya can see ghosts but that's a detail. Maya's entire life has been about Alana, her girlfriend and before that her best friend. But she breaks up with her and leaves her on a hiking trail. But then Alana disappears. And Maya's entire life is turned upside down. What if perfect, sweet Alana wasn't as great as everyone makes her out to be??
This was incredible and enraging and amazing. I loved every single second of this, even the breaks I had to take cause it made me so mad. I really lived it all from the very first line to the last one. It kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time and I could not stop reading. I honestly loved everything about this and I don't want to say too much but y'all should read it.
An amazing book all over. Kara A. Kennedy is one more author that I'll have to keep an eye on!
August 23, 2024
Such a great book! The characters were so well-crafted and rang true. The angst and “mean-girl” aspects of teenaged girls was portrayed perfectly. I loved the backdrop of the San Fernando Valley and the LA private school scene. A very impressive debut novel!
January 28, 2025
The way this book made me feel was incredible. The way anger brewed in me aimed at how Alana treated Maya in life & death to the immense pride in Maya at the end when she grew the strength to banish her.
I 100% recommend this book.
I 100% recommend this book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 22, 2025
There were some really strong parts in this book but mostly I was just mad at all of the characters and their weird choices. I know life is hard but letting yourself be the victim after years of therapy is a choice.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 178 reviews