The Joy of Lesbian Sex: A Tender and Liberated Guide to the Pleasures and Problems of a Lesbian Lifestyle

by Emily L. Sisley, Bertha Harris

A forthright, illustrated exploration of the lesbian lifestyle covers a wide range of topics including lesbian motherhood, legal matters, romance, and every possible sexual technique.

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT, Queer, Sexuality

223 pages, Hardcover

First published May 2, 1986

Reviews

[Kitty · Rating 1 out of 5]

Really distasteful. Preachy, hyper-therapized, hyper individualized. The two authors had very specific ideas about lesbian sex and present them as absolute fact. Just so unpleasant to read, really interesting artifact of how even the side of the sex wars I'm pretty much on was insufferable to its core. Hated that. Also on page 3 proudly states that now that we know all humans are bisexual we can all just relax. Why would that be in a lesbian sex guide!?

[Akiva ꙮ · Rating 5 out of 5]

A friend read some of this at Fire Island this summer (2023) and had to get her own copy; she's successfully transmitted the bug to me now. We sat on the couch on Shabbat reading entries out loud and cracking up. Do not read this expecting up to date information! It's something way better than that: a vivid time capsule of 1970s lesbian culture.

Misc highlights: Boots ("in bed, they just lead to torn sheets"); Tucking (not what you think it is); Hugs (real lesbians grab their friends' asses!); Married Lesbians ("2, 4, 6, 8 / How do you know your wife is straight?"); the illustrations!!

[Riley M. · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a very dated book that was clearly a radical lesbian feminist response to The Joy of Sex. I had both books many years ago when I was about 19 and thought they must contain important information since the original is so famous. However I was surprised at some weird things. For example they spend a lot of words describing tucking in your partner to bed - like literally pulling the covers around them so they can sleep. As if that has anything to do with sex? Apparently to the author since she clearly thinks female sexuality is all about love and cuddles. Under BDSM it basically states that only men are interested in power play because women are free from the need control or dominate. Yeah, sure ok. I can admit that The Joy of Sex was very heteronormative and intercourse-focused and deserved a response from lesbians but nowadays there are far more contemporary and developed guides to check out.

[Sara]

Just read the 1977 version of this that came into my possession as part of a larger group of books from an estate. Whoa, super dated information. Which can sometimes be good to read to remind oneself of how far we have come in sex education. Also can help explain some of the thoughts and attitudes you sometimes can run into from folks where this book was their only source of "how to be a lesbian".

[M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Written in the 70s but so amazing. Beautiful illustrations. An alphabetically arranged list of lesbian definitions. Tended toward the sweet and romantic and acted like lesbians have almost no appreciation of kink culture, but still pretty transformative for its time. I especially appreciated all the mentions of nonmonogamy! So good.

[Sophie Gale · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Joy of [Your Flavor] Sex books bore me half to death. A dictionary of ho-hum! Three stars is probably too generous.

[Lottie Bentham · Rating 5 out of 5]

practical

[Aiden · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ahh, a gift from a past girlfriend. It's fabulous.

[RainbowFoxGlasses · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vintage