Cuvinte magice. Ce sa spui ca sa obtii ce vrei

by Jonah Berger

Cercetarea inovativa a lui Jonah Berger dezvaluie modul in care sase tipuri de cuvinte pot sa ne sporeasca influenta in toate sectoarele de la persuadarea altor persoane si construirea unor relatii mai trainice, pana la sporirea creativitatii si motivarea personalului. Aproape tot ceea ce facem presupune cuvinte. Acestea sunt instrumentele cu ajutorul carora convingem, comunicam si ne conectam. Cu ele, liderii conduc, vanzatorii vand, parintii isi cresc copiii, profesorii educa, politicienii guverneaza si medicii explica. Chiar si gandurile noastre intime se intemeiaza pe cuvinte. Dar anumite vorbe au o influenta mai mare decat altele. Ele sunt mai bune pentru schimbarea opiniilor oamenilor, atragerea atentiei spectatorilor si generarea unor actiuni. Care sunt aceste cuvinte magice si cum putem sa ne folosim de puterea lor? In cartea de fata, Jonah Berger iti ofera o analiza competenta a noii stiinte a limbajului si a modului in care il poti utiliza. Progresele tehnologice inregistrate de invatarea automata, de lingvistica computationala si de procesarea limbajului natural, combinate cu digitalizarea tuturor documentelor, de la scrisori de recomandare pana la conversatii, au condus la dezvaluiri fara precedent. Afla cum isi atrag vanzatorii clientii, cum conving avocatii juratii si cum ii captiveaza povestitorii pe spectatori; asa cum profesorii ii fac pe copii sa-si ofere ajutorul, si reprezentantii serviciilor pentru clienti sporesc satisfactia cumparatorilor; asa cum fondatorii de start-upuri fac rost de finantare, la fel si muzicienii creeaza hituri, iar psihologii au stabilit ca o piesa de teatru a fost scrisa de Shakespeare fara ca macar sa o citeasca. Cuvinte magice este destinata tuturor celor care vor sa-si sporeasca influenta. Cartea ofera un set de instrumente puternice si de tehnici la indemana, care pot conduce la rezultate extraordinare.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology, Communication, Business, Self Help, Writing, Language

280 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2023

About the author

Jonah Berger is a marketing professor at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania and bestselling author of Contagious: Why Things Catch On and Invisible Influence: The Hidden Forces that Shape Behavior.

Dr. Berger has spent over 15 years studying how social influence works and how it drives products and ideas to catch on. He’s published dozens of articles in top-tier academic journals, consulted for a variety of Fortune 500 companies, and popular outlets like the New York Times and Harvard Business Review often cover his work.

Reviews

[Dan Connors · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Saying you “recommend” rather than “like” something makes people 32 percent more likely to take your suggestion. Using the word “whom” in online dating profiles makes men 31 percent more likely to get a date. Adding more prepositions to a cover letter makes you 24 percent more likely to get the job. And saying “is not” rather than “isn’t” when describing a product makes people pay three dollars more to get it. The language used in earnings calls influences companies’ stock price, and the language used by CEOs’ impacts investment returns.” Jonah Berger

Words are the main way that we communicate and get our points across. They can hurt, inspire, inform, or transform. We often take them for granted, unaware that others are deftly manipulating us with their own words to entice us to follow their lead. Knowing some of the secret code words and how they work is important if we want to get in on the game, or at least protect ourselves from unscrupulous wordsmiths who know how to push our buttons.

Writer and marketing professor Jonah Berger covers this topic in his newest book- Magic Words. I've been a fan of Berger's other books including Contagious and The Catalyst, and his expertise in the world of persuasion and marketing has made him something of a national expert in the field.

Berger examines several areas in which the presentation of content is more important than the content itself. Presentation and choice of words can make all the difference in attracting and audience and persuading them. Entertainers and politicians have known this for a long time. Content is important, but the bells and whistles that accompany it are even more important in getting it noticed. Here are several of the magic word strategies that Berger covers:

1- Activate Identity and Agency. Words can present content that seems abstract and hard to identify with. But changing the wording to invite the reader to take on an identity with a topic raises the stakes. Instead of asking someone to help out, try asking for them to be a good helper. Being a helper is an identity that people value, and they will subconsciously gravitate to identities that make them feel good about themselves. Encouraging people to vote isn't nearly as powerful as calling them a voter. If they are primed enough to think of themselves as a "voter", they will be that much more motivated to get out and actually vote. By turning any action into an identity, we tap into a deep need to be a part of a desirable group, and persuasion is the result.

2- Convey Confidence. We all know this instinctively- we are more likely to believe someone if they look and sound confident. Even if they are lying or bluffing, if they can put out a speech that comes off as authoritative and confident, we will give it more weight. The alternative is speakers who qualify things with hedges like "probably", "I think", or "about". While most of life is uncertain and hedging is the honest thing to do, absolutes and clear choices are what people crave. The problem comes when persuaders gloss over complexities and lead groups into extremism or foolish short-term choices. When possible, conveying confidence in an ethical manner works much better than hesitation, filler words like "um" or "uh",and pauses.

3- Use present tense. Statements that are in the past tense convey things that are either over or subjective. If something "did the job", there might be some doubt as to whether it will work again, but if something "does the job," there is more confidence that it works all of the time.

4- Ask good questions. People love a good question, especially if it is pertinent to their own situation. Asking smart questions that show you've been listening to others and have considered their concerns. Don't assume you know it all- probe with the right questions to uncover the keys to stronger relationships. Questions can even be used to deflect uncomfortable topics when you don't want to go into something embarrassing or difficult. Questions can divide people, but a cascade of thoughtful questions can build on safe topics and open up possible friendships, assuming each person listens and reflects as things get more intimate to enhance safety.

5- Leverage concreteness. Using concrete language makes language more real. Tight blue jeans are more memorable than pants, yellow floral print skirt is more concrete than dress, and tall goldendoodle is more effective than dog. Concrete language helps our brain to visualize things more easily, and when used in a conversation it lets both parties know that they are listening to each other and drilling down to the important details.

6- Employ emotion. Telling a story with a predictable trajectory risks losing people in the middle. The best stories are like a roller coaster- full of emotional highs and lows that keep the reader guessing as to what will happen next. Volatility, especially in the realm of fiction, is essential to build and keep interest. Make characters three-dimensional and imperfect, and that will make them more relatable and likeable. Writing in the space of non-fiction is a different situation where emotion has to be used sparingly, but even the driest topics have an interesting story with real stakes buried within.

7- Harness Similarity. No two audiences are alike. To connect with them, writers and speakers need to match specific language cues like slang, terminology, and even accent. Only once an audience feels like they can trust you will they listen attentively. That said, you don't want to be TOO similar- you need to start with similarity and build to a creative peak with surprises and stimulation, or the audience could get bored. It's a common dilemma- we don't want to hear something too different, but we also get bored when hearing the same old same old.

Berger closes the book with an introduction to natural language processing, (NLP), a new frontier technology that uses artificial intelligence to analyze words and extract information from the choices of words used. While content is what most of us focus on, these programs can sift out hidden emotional contexts and reveal a lot about the person who created them. NLP can detect prejudices, attitudes, and lies hidden below the surface, predicting who is more likely to do what they claim to do. As artificial intelligence grows in power and usage, be aware that your words could be used against you, so choose them carefully.

[simona.citeste · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nu mă cred pe cuvânt că-i o carte bună, citește și convinge-te.

Foarte accesibilă, utilă și cu idei de pus în aplicare instant.

Vorbește despre importanța alegerii cuvintelor potrivite în contexte potrivite.
Este foarte bine structurată iar la final de capitol sintetizează ideile importante și aplicabile din ceea ce ai citit.

[Ben · Rating 4 out of 5]

More Berger Magic

If you're looking for a fascinating and data-driven exploration of the power of words, this is the book for you. Using data and analysis models, Berger uncovers surprising insights into how the words we use can influence everything from our personal relationships to the success of our businesses.

One of the things that really sets Magic Words apart is the way Berger uses real-world examples to illustrate his points. For instance, he discusses how certain phrases can predict whether or not someone will default on a loan, and how subtle changes in wording can make a big difference in the courtroom.
I found it very similar in that way, to the book Don't Trust Your Gut: Using Data to Get What You Really Want in Life

But Magic Words isn't just about practical tips for using language more effectively. Berger also delves into the psychology of why certain words have more power than others. He explores the way language can shape our perceptions of ourselves and others, and how it can be used to build trust, foster connection, and even drive social change.
I thought the chapter(s) on language reminded me of Nine Nasty Words: English in the Gutter — Then, Now, and Forever

Of course, some of the concepts Berger covers in Magic Words may be familiar to readers who are already well-versed in the psychology of language. But even if you've read books by Adam M. Grant or other experts in the field, you're sure to find something new and thought-provoking in Berger's work.

Overall, I found Magic Words to be a really engaging and enlightening read. If you're interested in the power of language and how it shapes our world, I highly recommend checking it out.

4.3/5

[Hodjat ghoreishi · Rating 5 out of 5]

بسیار کتاب خوبیه برای کسانی که در زمینه مارکتینگ و فروش کار میکنند.
برای افراد خارج از این حیطه هم بسیار مطالب مفیدی در مورد نحوه‌ی تعامل و صحبت کردن ارائه میده که در مسائل روزمره کاری و زندگی میشه استفاده کرد.
یک خلاصه هم آخر هر فصل ارائه میده و جمع‌یندی خوبی داره.

[Chris Boutté · Rating 5 out of 5]

Man, I honestly think at some point in the future, Jonah Berger, a best-selling author of pop-psych books, will go down as one of the biggest hacks of all time. When I first got into non-fiction, Jonah Berger was some of the first books I read, and I absolutely loved them. Then, as I learned about junk science, the replication crisis in the social sciences and the like, I realized that there’s a high likelihood that Berger is just writing a bunch of BS. This book was no different, and it finally made sense once I got to the epilogue: this book is based on the junk science of Natural Language Processing (NLP).

Jonah Berger is a Wharton School professor and specializes in the psychology of marketing and selling. Basically, he makes an insane amount of money writing stuff and doing speaking engagements that big companies love. Berger presents the most bogus studies as a way to say, “Do this, and you’ll 100x your sales and profits.” This new book focuses on language.

It’s just mind-blowing the studies he references because anyone with half a brain and is slightly skeptical will have their alarms going off. The entire book is just “We looked at X, and when they made this small change to their wording, they saw tremendous success!”. Unlike good books with research, he never challenges the findings and explains why they’re correct. He just throws a million studies at the reader to back his claims and present amazing results without ever mentioning sample sizes or anything relevant to the scientific method.

I may be completely wrong, but I don’t think I am. And I think time will prove me right, especially if someone who debunks this kind of stuff ever comes across Berger’s work.

[Yossi · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book starts out interesting enough and brings its point across very quickly. Which words you use matters. It matters in various contexts. Ok.
However, once you understand that, then it is difficult to understand how to apply that lesson. What the book does is try to address all the various ways that a person can better select words. However, here it misses the mark by trying to fit too many use cases in a single package. I somehow doubt that a person pitching a project to their boss will also need to know how a policeman should talk or how to write a book or any of the other 50 examples here. Instead of focusing more on a specific use case and giving real information about that particular one (e.g., correct words for pitching to investors) you get a lot of nothing on a lot of types of use cases. Shame really.

[Adam Ashton · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good ideas but not amazing. Have absolutely loved reading the authors other books (contagious and the catalyst) but this one wasn’t as mind blowing as his others

[Petruta · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fost atât de faină cartea asta! Am ascultat-o cu o reală plăcere și nu aș fi vrut să se termine.

Este foarte important să ne alegem cuvintele potrivite atât la locul de muncă cât și acasă cu partenerul sau cu cei mici pentru a ne face auziți, pentru a ne conecta sau pentru a convinge. Anumite vorbe au o influență mai mare decât altele. 

Cartea vine cu un set de tehnici ușor de aplicat, este bine structurată, iar la finalul fiecărui capitol sunt evidențiate ideile principale. 

Cuvintele magice spunse la momentul potrivit te pot salva din situații neplăcute.

[Enakshi J. · Rating 4 out of 5]

In "Magic Words," Jonah Berger explores the profound impact that language can have on our lives. Drawing from cutting-edge research and advancements in fields such as machine learning and computational linguistics, Berger reveals the six types of words that possess the power to transform our ability to persuade, connect, and inspire.

Read the complete review here: https://www.aliveshadow.com/category-...

[Rudyard L. · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was very cringe. It’s peak self help fake science, context removed BS. The author lacks actual skill but parrots algorithms without meaning

[Nadya Ichinomiya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am familiar with some of the studies since books on influence are very interesting to me. However, I still learned a ton of new stuff. The author is a good storyteller and the book was an enjoyable listen.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good info, but it gets preachy toward the end.

[Pooja Mathur · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started out phenomenal, but then I wondered about all the different studies and if the results and advice were equally applicable to different gender identities or had the same effects. I don't know how diverse some of the studies were. And even if they were diverse, perhaps some societal biases played a role in how words were interpreted.

Some interesting stuff, though.

[Elizabeth Chan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up Magic Words because it was recommended in one of Adam Grant’s newsletters. Here are my initial thoughts:

1. I enjoyed this focused exploration of the use of words, and specifically the impact of wording choice in specific contexts. I particularly liked the arrangement of the book into 6 segments, with an explanation of 3-4 points per segment and a summary at the end.

2. The six types of magic words are:
- Activate identity and agency
- Convey confidence
- Ask the right questions
- Leverage concreteness
- Employ emotion
- Harness similarity (and difference)

These categories by themselves will not mean much so it is worth reading the book (or at least the summaries). The impact of choice of words depends a great deal on the relevant context. For example, concreteness is helpful in the customer service context to convey you understand the problem the other person has. But more vague terms may be relevant where indicating growth eg in a pitch for funding by a start up company.

3. I found the section titled “What is Most Similar to a Grapefruit?” to be especially interesting. I understand that Chat GPT and other LLMs write based on statistical probabilities of the next word making sense in the existing context.

It was interesting to consider how this also reflects for humans learn—ie as children we learn words by understanding the relationship between words. The author quotes British linguist, JR Firth, as saying, “You shall know a word by the company it keeps”. As the author explains, “you can learn a lot about what words mean and the relationships among them by looking at the contexts they show up in and the words that surround them”.

So, for example, closely connected words may include “doctors” and “gloves” and “operating rooms”. We can then assess the similarity between words by measuring the distance between them—eg “dog” and “friendly” often go together and reflect the common view that dogs are friendly.

4. This leads to the author’s thesis that “Words not only influence and affect people who listen to or read them, they also reflect and reveal things about the person (or people) who created them.” He further says that “Language is like a fingerprint. It leaves behind traces or signals of the person or people who created it."

5. The choice of words can actually tell us a lot—and in surprising ways. An example is the author’s analysis of applications for loans by people and the types of words that defaulters use versus people who are likely to pay on time.

For example, "repayers" were more likely to use words and phrases related to their financial situation (eg interest and tax) and improvements in financial ability (eg graduate and promote). "Defaulters" in contrast more likely mention words relating to financial hardship (eg payday loan or refinance) as well as pleas for support (eg need help or please help) or touch on religion.

To quote, “In fact, while people who used the word ‘reinvest’ were almost 5 times more likely to repay their loan in full, those who used the word ‘God’ were almost 2 times more likely to default.”

6. How words reveal our biases was also interesting and troubling. To quote, “If we just look at the words that were used by the officer, we can predict the race of the person that they were talking to about two-thirds of the time”.

For example, white motorists were more likely to hear something like, “There you go, ma’am. Drive safe please.” Whereas black motorists heard something different, eg “Can I see that driver’s license again?” Or “All right, my man. Do me a favor. Just keep your hands on the steering wheel real quick.” The author posts that, “Taken together, these seemingly small differences added up to pervasive racial disparities."

The same Chapter 7 addresses gender biases in choice of words revealed through song and film. I won’t describe them here and I recommend reading the chapter for yourselves.

7. The Appendix: Reference Guide for Using and Applying Natural Language Processing was also interesting especially the part on Legal Cases. It explains how one might approach the question of whether a brand is falsely marketing themselves as eco-friendly. Instead of focusing on only a single advertisement, the author suggests collecting data on choice across words for that brand and others. That data may include for example counting individual words used (eg earth, environment and eco-friendly) and their frequency to assess the message being portrayed.

10. As a mum with young kids, I also found the activation of identity interesting as a way to build internal motivation. This seems to the flip side of discouraging negative behaviour eg instead of saying someone is a bad person, indicate how their conduct is negative or has negative consequences. But for encouraging conduct we can identify as a “helper” to encourage tidying up (this is an example for toddlers).

[Boghean Daniela · Rating 5 out of 5]

Câte informații utile are cartea asta și cât de mult mi-a plăcut!!!

-> Ne învață cum/când să folosim limbajul concret în detrimentul limbajului abstract (sau invers).
-> Aflăm cum putem obține mai ușor informații/lucruri înlocuind un singur cuvânt sau chiar o terminație.
-> Explorează mai multe tipuri de limbaje cărora cred că merită să le acorzi atenție.
-> Este structurată în așa fel încât să simțit că înmagazinezi informația într-un timp foarte scurt.
-> Poți pune sfaturile în aplicare pe loc, mai ales fiind vorba de cuvinte pe care le poți folosi în activitățile tale.
-> Cuvintele potrivite la momentul potrivit pot face magie!

[Vlada · Rating 4 out of 5]

«З правильними формулюваннями, правильними чарівними словами можна привернути увагу до будь-чого, і неважливо, чи це найцікавіша у світі тема, чи й близько ні».

Кожен з нас хоче правильно доносити свою думку, впевнено говорити та бути цікавим співрозмовником. І такі книги в цьому допомагають. Я вперше ознайомилась з таким форматом книг. Інформація для мене виявилась цікавою, але подана вона нудно і кострубато. Для себе я виділила декілька корисних моментів і планую далі читати про гру слів.

[Alina · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Cuvintele nu numai că-i influențează și îi afectează pe oamenii care le ascultă sau le citesc, ele reflectă și dezvăluie lucruri despre persoana (persoanele) care le-a creat. (…) Limbajul este asemenea unei amprente. Lasă în urmă urme sau semnale ale persoanei sau persoanelor care l-au creat.”

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

read as part of a book club for work - was fine; some of the concepts are things i already implore in my leadership, but it also offered some new perspectives on why we should do things and why we shouldn’t. the research shared was cool, but some the application in my current situation as a leader was irrelevant.

[Jason Morris · Rating 4 out of 5]

Valuable insights on using more impactful and persuasive language. There are numerous practical applications for business and personal applications.
I really appreciated that the author didn’t drag out this book. This is the type of book that could have been stretched simply to meet a publisher page count. Rather, the book is a short, easy read.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very interesting and thought provoking! I’m totally going to put some of this to use now and see if it makes a difference!

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not sure why a book about the power of exact language should have so many sentence fragments, but it was an informative, quick read.

[G utf · Rating 3 out of 5]

So next time you're trying to change a habit, speak in don'ts. Simply waiting a little longer before you talk can reduce the number of filler words you'll need.

[Jung · Rating 5 out of 5]

Use words to your advantage.

What comes to mind when you think of magic words? Perhaps “Abracadabra” or “Expecto Patronum.”

But this book is not about fictional incantations. It turns out that there are real-world phrases that make certain outcomes more likely than others – almost like magic.

For instance, saying that you “recommend” something makes a person 34 percent more likely to follow your suggestion than if you were to simply say that you “like” it. But that’s only the tip of the iceberg.

This book shows you how to use the hidden science behind language to your advantage. It teaches you how to use words to sell an idea, resolve conflict, and get ahead – at home and in the office.

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Activate a sense of identity

Words are all around us. We each use about 16,000 of them a day. Yet we rarely think about which words we use.

It turns out that this choice can be pretty important.

In 2014, scientists conducted a study to find out how to get kids to tidy up. They allowed 4- to 5-year-old children to play for a bit and then waited until they were engaged in another activity. Then, they asked them to tidy up. They asked one group of kids to “help” clean up the toys, while they asked the other group to be “helpers” in cleaning up the toys.

Which group do you think was more likely to tidy up?

The ones that were encouraged to be “helpers.”

This brings us to our first trick in the bag: using words that activate a sense of identity.

One way to do this is to use nouns instead of verbs – like in the study. Nouns evoke category labels. It’s the difference between “Rebecca runs” and “Lisa is a runner.” Category labels such as “runner” imply a certain permanence. They make us think that a trait is an integral part of someone’s personality. Running seems like a stable part of Lisa’s identity, whereas Rebecca simply jogs once in a while.

That’s why it can help to use nouns to get people to do something good. Kids may not want to “help” at the moment, but they want to be seen as a “helper.” In 2008, political strategists used this principle to increase voter turnout. Instead of encouraging people to “vote,” campaigns talked about “being a voter.” It worked: voter turnout rose by 15 percent.

Another way to activate our own sense of identity is to use the word “don’t” instead of “can’t.” When we’re on a diet, for instance, we tend to say things like, “I can’t eat chocolate cake right now, because I’m trying to be healthy.” But this suggests that we actually do want to eat cake – it’s just that some outside force is preventing it. This makes it much harder to resist. So next time you’re trying to change a habit, speak in don’ts: “I don’t eat chocolate cake.” “Don’t” activates our sense of identity, and that makes us feel empowered. It suggests that we’re not trying to be healthy, we are healthy.

-

Speak with confidence

No matter what you think of Donald Trump, you can’t deny that he captures his audiences. His speaking style is simplistic and repetitive – and yet he manages to convince a lot of people of what he’s saying.

If there's one thing Trump gets right, it's the power with which he speaks.

Confidence can make all the difference in whether your audience buys your point or not.

How can our choice of words influence the confidence we convey?

Do what Donald does. Pretend you’re 100 percent convinced of your point by using definites like “definitely,” “obviously,” and “clearly.” In casual speech, we tend to hedge a lot. Hedges are phrases like “I think,” “perhaps,” and “sort of.” We use them to signal that something is our personal opinion and we’re not quite sure of it.

However, hedges suggest a lack of confidence. Definites, on the other hand, suggest things are crystal clear. And people are much more interested in listening to something that seems irrefutable.

However, a word of caution: sometimes being overly direct can backfire. When people are confronted with facts that go against their own beliefs, they tend to shut down and stop listening. It’s like an anti-persuasion defense system. So when you already know someone has a drastically different opinion than you, expressing doubt about your own opinion can actually make them more sympathetic to your point.

However, when you’re speaking to an undecided audience, confidence is key. Another principle for conveying confidence is the elimination of filler words such as “uh,” “um,” and “er.” Speakers who use a lot of filler words are perceived as less powerful and lower status. Simply waiting a little longer before you talk can reduce the number of filler words you’ll need.

Finally, speak in the present tense. When the author and his colleagues analyzed millions of product reviews, they found that those written in the present tense were rated as more helpful than those written in the past tense. Saying a book “is” an amazing read suggests that this is still the case. Saying it “was” an amazing read suggests that perhaps this was only true at a particular point in time.

-

Ask good questions

There’s the old saying that “there are no dumb questions.” The good news is, that’s probably true! But there are certainly better and worse questions depending on the situation.

Researchers at Stanford analyzed thousands of first dates to see which factors contribute to a good first impression. Apart from the obvious factors, like appearance, word choice significantly influenced how people were perceived.

The more questions someone asked, the better the first impression they had on their dates. People who asked lots of follow-up questions were perceived most positively of all. Probably because thoughtful follow-up questions signal that one is listening and genuinely interested in what the other person has to say. It turns out that people tend to be more interested in us when we show interest in them.

Asking questions is such powerful social glue that relationship researchers Arthur and Elaine Aron developed a 36-item questionnaire that can make any two people feel connected to each other. The 45-minute exercise builds from fun and casual questions (“Would you like to be famous?”) to deep and intimate inquiries (“If you died right now, what would be the thing you regretted not having told someone?”). It has helped thousands of strangers become fast friends.

Contrary to popular belief, asking for advice is often viewed positively. Researchers found that asking someone for advice on a task made people seem more, not less, competent.

Questions can also be a great way to deflect – as politicians know all too well. But the strategy also works for everyday life. Seeking information is usually viewed favorably. So if someone asks you an uncomfortable question, answering with your own question can save you from sharing information you don’t want to share.

Imagine a potential employer asks you if you plan on having kids. Answering with your own question, such as “Do you have any kids?” can serve as a deflection, helping you avoid answering this intrusive question.

On the flip side, you can learn to ask questions that coax people into sharing information they might otherwise withhold. In one study, researchers found that people were much more likely to divulge negative information when directly asked about it.

Imagine you’re buying a used laptop online. Asking “What problems does the laptop have?” instead of “Is there anything I should know about the laptop?” makes sellers about 50 percent more likely to be honest about any existing issues with the laptop.

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Be concrete or get abstract

Questions are a great way to signal to others that we’re listening to them. And feeling heard makes people like and listen to us.

There’s another way we can harness this effect: by using concrete language. Being concrete is the difference between a retail employee telling someone “I’ll go look for that” and “I’ll fetch you those green sneakers you asked for.” The action is the same, but the latter formulation makes the customer feel much more cared for.

To study linguistic concreteness, the author and his colleague analyzed hundreds of customer service calls to a big online retailer. They found that the more concrete language the service employees used, the more satisfied the customers left the conversation. And not only that: customers also spent 30 percent more money with the retailer in the following weeks.

Using concrete language makes people feel like you’re paying attention and that you understand them. It also makes it easier for those people to pay attention to you and understand you.

The problem is that the more we know about something, the more abstractly we tend to think about it. For someone who doesn’t have the same knowledge, it can be hard to follow those abstract thoughts. That’s why it can be beneficial to take a step back from what you know, and think about how to present a topic as if the other person had zero prior knowledge of it. Often, complicated expert jargon like “identifying a value proposition” can be replaced by simple language, such as “making a case for why people should buy the product.” Using simple, concrete language rather than vague, abstract ideas helps people understand us.

Sometimes, though, being abstract can work in our favor. When researchers analyzed the impact of different startup pitches, they found that those that used more abstract language were more likely to receive investment. Abstract language made investors think a startup idea had more potential for growth.

Imagine, for instance, Uber had billed itself as a “ride-hailing app,” rather than a “transportation solution.” The first one sounds pretty useful, but the second one sounds like it could have a much broader impact. So if you’re trying to convince someone of the potential of an idea, abstract concepts are the way to go.

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Leverage emotion

Consider two restaurants you know nothing about. The review for Restaurant A says “the food was delicious and the ambience electrifying.” The review for Restaurant B reads that “the food was expertly prepared and the ambience well-curated.” Which one would you rather go to?

Probably the first one. “Delicious” and “electrifying” are much more emotional words than “expertly prepared” and “well-curated.”

And emotions have a big impact on our judgment. For instance, restaurants with emotional reviews get more reservations.

It’s also why media outlets use clickbait headlines such as “10 Shocking Facts about Prince Harry.” Appealing to emotions is a powerful way to grab attention.

And a satisfying emotional arch is also the key to good storytelling.

When the authors analyzed the language used in blockbuster movies, they found that the most popular movies took people on an emotional rollercoaster. They switched between highly positive and highly negative moments.

Think about it: No one wants to hear a story about how a successful entrepreneur became even more successful. But people might like to hear a story about how an unemployed veteran became a successful entrepreneur. And people love to hear a story about how an unemployed veteran tried to start his own business, failed bitterly, pulled himself together again, tried once more, and finally became a successful entrepreneur. It’s the low points that make the high points feel that much more intense.

The more ups and downs the ride has, the more exciting it’ll be for people to follow. This goes for movies as well as for books, speeches, or online articles. Certain emotions are better at holding people’s attention than others though.

For instance, people are 30 percent more likely to finish an online article that makes them feel anxious than one makes them feel sad. Overall, people pay more attention when the emotions evoked involve a degree of uncertainty – such as anxiety, surprise, or hope.

Appealing to emotions doesn’t work across the board though. When researchers analyzed Amazon reviews, they found that emotional language works best for lifestyle products such as music, movies, and books. For utilitarian products such as razors, tools, or appliances, emotional language actually backfired. Emotional reviews were rated as less helpful.

So don’t get too teary in your review of your new dishwasher if you want other people to listen to you. But if you’re trying to tell a compelling story, using rich and varied emotional terms will work in your favor.

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Blend in or stick out

Language serves as a tool for communicating with others. Its rules and rhythms change slowly over time, just as the community around it evolves.

Researchers at Stanford looked at the linguistic behavior of users of a beer-rating website to study this development on a small scale. They found that the beer enthusiasts’ online lingo changed over time, like a living organism. For instance, users began using more and more fruit-related words such as “citrusy” – even though the beers themselves didn’t change.

But the researchers also found something else. New users who adopted the site’s linguistic conventions quickly tended to stick around for longer.

As it turns out, linguistic similarity is an important aspect of community-building. Individuals who adopt the same language as their group, meaning they use similar phrases and expressions, are more likely to remain part of that group.

This holds true even in the workplace. When researchers analyzed the email communication of employees of a mid-sized firm, they found that those whose linguistic style matched that of their coworkers were three times more likely to be promoted. On the flip side, employees with a different linguistic style were four times more likely to be fired.

Other research has linked using similar language to everything from better dates to more successful negotiations.

But fitting in isn’t always a path to success. When it comes to music, for instance, differentiation – both in language and style – is a plus. Take Lil Nas X’s super hit Old Town Road. The catchy tune mixes elements of country and hip hop, and talks of “cowboy hats” as well as “Porsches.”

In the creative arena, things that stick out because of their dissimilarity tend to be more memorable and popular.

So if you’re in a field that values creativity, innovation, and originality, not talking like the others may benefit you.

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The right word choice can get people to take action, change their minds, or invest in your idea. There are six linguistic strategies we discussed in this book.

One, use words that activate a sense of identity – nouns instead of verbs, for instance. Two, speak with confidence – ditch the hedges and filler words. Three, ask good questions – no one will fault you for it! Four, know when to be concrete to signal that you’re listening – and when to get abstract to sell a big idea. Five, use emotional language to capture people’s attention. And finally, know when to blend in with your language – and when to use it to differentiate yourself.

You’ll be surprised what you can accomplish with these simple linguistic magic tricks.

[LynnMarie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Based on the subtitle, I was concerned that this book was going to be an obnoxious self-help book. However, I found it interesting and highly evidence-based. It reviews diverse linguistic components that are commonly used including addressing people as a noun versus a verb and how this changes adherence to a request, linguistic similarities in companies and the ability to predict who is going to get fired or leave the company, and numerous other interesting studies.

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

TLDR: Use the word "because" in your speech.

[Al Knife · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easy read with research that was easily understandable and relevant to everyday life. Last chapter and epilogue were kind of a waste of time but rest was good.

[HD · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Quick and Engaging Read on Communication Strategy.

The book provides valuable insights into the power of language and how words can influence our decisions and actions. Berger managed to hook me right from the outset;

While saying someone is liberal suggests that they currently hold left-leaning beliefs, saying they are a liberal suggests something more permanent. While saying someone loves dogs suggest they currently feel that way, saying they are a dog lover suggest they are a certain type of person and will be that way forever more. Things that could be seen as temporary states (e.g., “Sally didn’t put the dishes away”), for example, often seem more enduring or fundamental when expressed using category labels (i.e., “Sally is a slob”). Losing is bad. Being a loser is even worse.

I finished the entire book within just a few hours, so it didn't feel like a particularly lengthy read. When delving into nonfiction, we often find certain chapters that resonate with us the most. In my case, those standout chapters are 1, titled 'Activate Identity and Agency,' and 5, titled 'Employ Emotion.' It's not to say that the other chapters lack quality, but the first and fifth chapters impress with their rich research and superb writing, creating a compelling combination.

Berger's writing is engaging, and he backs up his ideas with fascinating research and real-world examples. Berger also provides a summary at the end of the chapter making it easier for the readers to re-evaluate the talking points.

Conclusion: "Magic Words" is a must-read for anyone interested in communication, persuasion, or human behavior. It's both informative and entertaining, making it a 5-star book that I highly recommend.

[Arthur Krause · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so good. If your are interested in communication this is the way to go. So much well explained content and daily applicable. Highly recommend it.

[Daniel Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

How much do the words you use matter?

Answer: Way more than you think. In getting people to do what you want, changing one word, or even a couple of letters, can alter your strike rate by 50% or more.

In Magic Words, Jonah Berger looks at six categories of magic words: 1) activating identity and agency, 2) conveying confidence, 3) asking the right questions, 4) leveraging concreteness, 5) employing emotion, 6) harnessing similarity (and difference).

Berger is one of these people at the cutting edge of science where multiple fields intersect. While I haven't come across his work before, I've added his back catalogue to my must-read list. The most interesting chapter for me in Magic Words is the one on harnessing similarity and difference, because that's the one that took the most work to understand.

Berger uses some complex and advanced tools to arrive at his findings, but he presents those findings simply and clearly enough that an average reader can understand and apply what he's learned.

For copywriters and marketers especially, this book is a must-read. But it's really for anyone who wants to get other people to do what they want.

[Sanford Chee]

Wharton webinar
https://apps.wharton.upenn.edu/webina...

Eg “Please”
6 categories of magic words
1. Language of similarity
2. Pose questions
3. Emotion
4. Agency
Turning action words (eg help/vote) to identity (helper/voter). Be vs do
5. Confidence
Language of certainty. Charisma. Definite. Ditch the hedges for persuasion. Take ownership.
6. Concreteness