How to Talk to Anyone: How to Charm, Banter, Attract, & Captivate

by Patrick King

Beyond simple small what to say and when to say it to be likable, connect, and make a memorable impression .
Actionable and applicable verbal maneuvers for just about every phase of conversation - good and bad. Whatever your conversational goal, you’ll find tactics to put you in a winning position - in a literal sense with arguments, and in a figurative sense with making friends. You can never underestimate the power of a simple conversation.

NO interview mode, awkward silence, or struggling to hold people’s attention.
How to Talk to Anyone is a unique read. It provides guidance for every social situation you’ll come across, from what should I say, hello, how was your weekend, I disagree with you, stop doing that, here’s a story, goodbye.

You’ll find 100% actionable nuanced and subtle tactics to salvage your worst situations and enhance your best - all field-tested and proven through thousands of conversations. In addition to shrewd insights to make conversation flow, you’ll learn to win arguments and diffuse dirty tricks.

Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and social skills coach. His writing draws of a variety of sources, from scientific research, academic experience, coaching, and real life experience. He suffered for years as a shy introvert and managed to boil human interaction down to a science - first for himself, and now for you.He is without doubt a uniquely qualified individual to teach you these tactics.

Exact words and phrases - always know what to say for social engagement.
•Common and subtle conversational habits you need to stop right now
•How to turn friends into enemies and charm just about anyone.

How to charm and captivate anyone/
Simple conversation is the gatekeeper to friendships, your dream career, romance, and overall happiness. The ability to connect with anyone is an underrated superpower. People will be more drawn to you without even knowing why, and never again people will people be bored talking to you. You’ll never run out of things to say when you master these conversation tactics.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Business, Communication, Personal Development, Audiobook

Audible Audio

Published May 31, 2022

About the author

Patrick King is a Social Interaction Specialist, in other words, a dating, online dating, image, and communication and social skills coach based in San Francisco, California, and has been featured on numerous national publications such as Inc.com. He’s also a #1 Amazon best-selling dating and relationships author with the most popular online dating book on the market, and writes frequently on dating, love, sex, and relationships.

He focuses on using his emotional intelligence and understanding of human interaction to break down emotional barriers, instill confidence, and equip people with the tools they need for success. No pickup artistry and no gimmicks, simply a thorough mastery of human psychology delivered with a dose of real talk, perfected and honed through three years of law school.

Reviews

[J · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is really not much of a book. It is more a set of lists. It started out strong but just sort of petered out.

The chapter summaries are really what amount to the “book.”

You’d better off to it out at your local library. However, I I is doubtful a library might purchase this kind of book. It seems to fall in with that lot of self-published book that lack substance but tend to sell based upon a flashy title offering guarantees that turn out to be too good to be true.

Over the years, I have picked up several books by this person/group. And I’m consistently disappointed. I guess I have to better about reading the first couple of pages before deciding to put down money on a book that fails to deliver on its promise.

No more Patrick King books for me.

[Dr Bill Ziegler · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good reminder on how to have meaningful conversations that make a true impact.

[Fotis Koutoulakis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was surprisingly informationally dense, as well as robust.

A lot of good information inside, backed by studies - which is in contrast to a lot of books of this kind.

[نادية أحمد · Rating 4 out of 5]

قدّم الكتاب دليلًا عمليًا ومبسطًا لاكتساب مهارات التحدث بثقة وطلاقة؛ بهدف تحسين إدارة المحادثات وبدء الحوارات وبناء حضور مؤثر أثناء الكلام مع الآخرين

أبرز المفاهيم والاستراتيجيات
1. قاعدة “الأجزاء الثلاثة” للحوار المتوازن
تساعد هذه القاعدة على خلق محادثات متوازنة تُترك انطباعًا قويًا على الطرف الآخر
2. استراتيجية “ARE” لبناء روابط فورية
تهدف هذه الاستراتيجية إلى الدعم في تجنّب فشل المحادثات القصيرة، وتفرض التركيز على طرح الأسئلة المفتوحة، الاصغاء بتأنٍّ، والاستجابة بطريقة مدروسة تهدف إلى بناء تواصل حقيقي .
3. لغة الجسد الفعّالة
يقدم الكتاب إرشادات ملموسة للتحكم في الإيماءات وتعبيرات الوجه، لتعزيز تأثير الكلام وزيادة درجة الثقة والجاذبية أثناء الحوار .
4. إدارة توقيت الصمت والإصغاء الذكيّ
يشرح الكتاب كيف يمكن التحكم في توقيتات الكلام والصمت بذكاء، مما يجعل المحاور يشعر بأنك تقدر مشاركته، ويخلق مساحة للتأثير الإيجابي .
5. مبدأ باريتو في الحوار
يُعرّف هذا المبدأ بالقوة في التركيز على أهم الأهداف أو النقاط المؤثرة في المحادثة، مما يساعد على تحقيق أثر واضح ومباشر في التواصل

ملخص المحتوى

يقدّم باتريك كينغ في هذا الكتاب مجموعة متكاملة من الأدوات العملية التي تُعالج الجوانب التالية:
• كيفية بدء حوارات جذابة وغير محرجة.
• أساليب فعّالة لإنشاء روابط فورية مع الآخرين عبر الحوار.
• استخدام التحكّم في لغة الجسد لتعزيز الرسائل اللفظية.
• توظيف الصمت والتوقيت بشكل استراتيجي.
• التركيز على ما هو الأفضل والأكثر تأثيرًا داخل المحادثة.

الأسلوب في الكتاب عملي، مباشر، ومناسب للمبتدئين والمحترفين على حد سواء، مما يجعله مرجعًا ممتازًا لتحسين مهارات الحوار اليومي أو المهني.

“قاعدة الأجزاء الثلاثة تضمن توازن الحوار وتأثيره الباقي.”

“استراتيجية ARE تمنحك الأدوات لتفادي المحادثات العقيمة وتحويلها لعلاقات حقيقية.”

“تحكمك في لغة جسدك وصمتك يصبح أقوى من ألف كلمة.”

الخلاصة

إذا كنت تبحث عن دليل عملي لرفع مستوى مهاراتك في المحادثة، فإن “كاريزما الحوار” لباتريك كينغ يقدم أدوات قابلة للتطبيق ونتائج ملموسة، سواء كنت في بداية طريقك في التواصل الاجتماعي أو تبحث عن تحسين أسلوبك المهني.

نادية أحمد
كتاب ورقي

[em jay · Rating 3 out of 5]

Starts strong, Peters off. Some facts and figures but mostly semantics and anecdotes.

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

- [ ] Mirroring
- [ ] Talks abt the passion , careeer goal,
- [ ] Don’t be vulnerable to everyone but ppl who worth and earn it
- [ ] Let go our eagle. Put other ppl’s need first
- [ ] Instead of say dude that debate was so bad. You can ask the person first. What’s your thought abt the debate
- [ ] When someone talk abt oh he recently went to Vietnam. Don’t say oh I went there as well last summer imm, but instead ask oh what did you do there first. Ask more abt them first instead rod directing them to yourself first
- [ ] Go with the flow, don’t create contradicting word. Use less but. Eg: if we go this way, we’ll just have a lot of traffic. Or we go the other way
- [ ] Be okay with the pause. Let the other lead
- [ ] Play with it. Goes with the flow ( make the other person feel superior)
- [ ] Try to speak to their language ( analogy)
- [ ] How can I make them shine, how can I learn abt them, how can I enjoy them connection with them
- [ ] Imagine you are in their shoes and speak like them
- [ ] Watch interview shows and see how the host ask and react to interviewee’s respons
- [ ] Quick response. 嗯哼， yeah right …etc

[Balefire398 · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a list. Not a book. The only thing I took away from it was King's concept of 'mirroring' the actions of those around you and fake it 'till you make it.

[Karen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I felt like being a listener was recommended, being a listener is tiring. That is why I read this book to begin with.

[Gail · Rating 3 out of 5]

Everything you've heard before, just repeated in a different way. Does have good points, however, and emphasizes the right things.

[Scout Collins · Rating 4 out of 5]

For some of this book I was hovering closer to 3 stars, but when I actually got to share information I learned from this book in a big conversation, I had to bump up the rating to 4 stars.
Some of the info in here is 5 stars, some of it is 3 stars, so it evens out to 4.

1: Avoid Bad Interactions
Mirroring
Rule of 3
ARE for small talk
1-Minute Traffic Light Rule (no long responses)
Rating: 4/5 objectively, 2/5 for new/useful/relevant info for me
These are generally good ideas for people who have difficulty with small talk or talking too much.
This wasn't the most enlightening section for me.

2: Beneath the Surface
Ego suspension
3 Levels of Rapport
Connection stories
Charisma: put a label on it
Don't be boring
Rating: 3.5/5
I liked the connection stories and labelling best. I think there were some good tips for everyone in this section, it was a little more universally applicable.

3: Watch What You Say
Tonality/delivery
Open loops
Metaphorically speaking
Two magic words for unending conversations
Rating: 3/5
I don't like the "open loops" idea - you start telling a story and purposely don't finish it so you can continue a conversation. If someone did that in a conversation and I actually cared about their story, I would be annoyed by that and also ask them to continue the story right after they trail off.

4: And Don't Say
The Power of Shutting Up
Apply the Pareto Principle
Microexpressions
Be quick, be responsive
Navigating conflict landmarks
Rating: 3.5/5
Again, good reminder if you generally talk too much in a conversation; the chapter about being quick and responsive was good, and I think the conflict one was too.

5: Boost CQ
Empathy & blind spots
Go Deep often & early
Predicting with cold reads
The Great Escape
Rating: 4/5
Loved the chapter on Go Deep Often & Early; the Empathy one was good too; the cold reads chapter was totally review (aka copied) from his other books. The great escape was about ending conversations at the right time, which was interesting.

6: Themes
Active Listening
Divulging
The search for similarity
Rating: 4.5/5
This was one of the best chapters - I liked all sections.

What I Did Like
1. Overall, this book was packed with some pretty good tips, studies and insights.
2. I learned some things about having deeper and better conversations.
3. This book makes you think about charm in a different way
4. This book was well-rounded--no matter who the reader is, chances are there are at least a couple things you can learn or be reminded of from this book :)

Specific Pages
16: mirroring / last sentence quote - "The deepest craving in every human being is the desire to be appreciated"
50: stories of identity/narratives are important for people
57-58: customer service labelling example/active listening
(82)-83: important page. mainly: put the argument in terms they would choose.
113: Fast responses in conversation (including listening responses) meant people were connecting better, according to a study
121: Argument - don't make it seem like the other person is 'losing' by agreeing with you and you're the 'winner'.. why would they want to agree with you?
135: talking about deeper topics makes people feel a lot more connected (study)
184: sharing personal details to avoid being stereotyped
187: Great: Sharing made you less likely to be judged by others. Sharing personally - first step to building trust
189: Interesting questions to ask to learn more about people"
190: 'when you share info, receiving parties will like you more and feel closer to you'

What I Didn't Like
Author was saying you shouldn't correct someone who thinks Spanish is the main language spoken in Brazil and keeps talking about it (86). I disagree.. I'd feel a lot more stupid if I weren't corrected.
You can correct someone in a nice way.

Bad formatting occurred multiple times. For example, page 148 -
Paragraph
Subheading for new paragraph


New paragraph


Please get someone to check your formatting before publishing!!! :/

You could also benefit from an editor:
"In fact, many people find themselves not really liking those people are agreeable and generic and bland." (174)

Did the book live up to the title?
How To:
Talk to Anyone: 5/5
Charm: 4.5/5
Banter: 3.75/5
Attract: 4/5
Captivate: 3.5/5
I would say for the most part it did!

I would recommend this book to people interested in having better, deeper conversations with better listening, people who want to be good conversationalists and more likable, and people who want to improve their relationships/communication too (since there are sections on empathy and active listening). This book is one of the better Patrick King books I've read so far.

[Gianella Maria · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good refresher with a few gems.
If you’re already pretty social, a lot of this might feel like common sense—but it’s still a great reminder of how small things can make a big difference. For anyone who overthinks conversations or wants to feel smoother around new people, it’s a helpful and easy read. Not groundbreaking, but it delivers exactly what it promises.

[Mina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Solid advice. Kinda generic and second nature advice. Some helpful tidbits. Of saying over sharing can help the conversation. And help build closeness in a relationship. Also how active listening is essential when in conversation with someone!

[Bob Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great quick read. Alot of things that seem like common sense but the book does a great job of showing examples which people can relate to. Always good to stay sharp. Reading this in public can seem alittle weird.

[Shelby · Rating 4 out of 5]

wanted this to be more for how to talk to prospects/clients in a sales role but I think it was good overall to be applied for day to day convos. Will help to connect with people in a more meaningful way 💫

[Willy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fast paced, fairly intuitive reminder about all the ways we can improve our ability to listen and talk. It was organized well with lots of quick actionable tidbits. Not super deep but it was exactly what I had hoped for.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book to help you have better, more meaningful conversations with people. It helps reinforce putting yourself and your ego in the background and really pay attention to people. I thought the tips were pretty common sense, but very good reminders on how to be a better person in general.

[Dylan Arcelli · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not much new in here

[Jim Doran · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not my favorite; also did audiobook. Some good takeaways, but could be summarized in 10% of the pages.

[Anna]

ok, it wasn’t bad, but also it took me only 16 minutes to read

[James Allred · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty standard review on mirroring, emotional intelligence, and active listening. I was hoping for a next level guide.

[Isaac Brooks · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had to read this for class. It was good enough for a school-book

[Sydney Heinig · Rating 5 out of 5]

So many good tips. People are already liking me more and they have no idea it’s because of this book 😏

[Cory Wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book contains lots of examples of how to have deep, meaningful conversations. By practicing these recommendations, more impactful conversations will occur.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good for mentor training!

[azza · Rating 5 out of 5]

it emphasizes reception and empathy and that's pretty much it. i love how the cover seems narcissistic but the book absolutely is not. also, patrick king is a terrific narrator.

[Baraa Qarini · Rating 1 out of 5]

غير واقعية أبداً... لا أنصح بقراءته والسبب انه كتاب أجنبي فكاريزما الحوار خاصتهم مختلفة عندنا تماماً.... وبسسسس

[Rafik Richar · Rating 5 out of 5]

يعكس خبرات كبيرة

[Waleed Mohammed · Rating 4 out of 5]

الكتاب بيتكلم علي كيفية إدارة الحوار من المحاور للمتحدث خصوصا في التعارف لأول مرة و طرق و أفكار لتعميق التواصل
كل الشكر أ/ باتريك كينج