Living Beyond Your Feelings: Controlling Emotions So They Don't Control You

by Joyce Meyer

The average person has 70,000 thoughts every day, and many of those thoughts trigger a corresponding emotion. No wonder so many of us often feel like we're controlled by our emotions. Our lives would be much improved if we controlled them.

In LIVING BEYOND YOUR FEELINGS, Joyce Meyer examines the gamut of feelings that human beings experience. She discusses the way that the brain processes and stores memories and thoughts, and then - emotion by emotion - she explains how we can manage our reactions to those emotions. By doing that, she gives the reader a toolbox for managing the way we react to the onslaught of feelings that can wreak havoc on our lives.

In this book, Meyer blends the wisdom of the Bible with the latest psychological research and the 4 personality types and their influence on one's outlook, the impact of stress on physical and emotional health, the power of memories, the influence of words on emotions, anger & resentment, sadness, loss & grief, fear, guilt & regret, the power of replacing reactions with pro-actions, and the benefits of happiness.

Genres: Christian, Self Help, Nonfiction, Spirituality, Religion, Christianity, Inspirational

Audible Audio

First published January 1, 2011

About the author

Joyce Meyer is one of the world's leading practical Bible teachers. A New York Times bestselling author, Joyce’s books have helped millions of people find hope and restoration through Jesus Christ. Through Joyce Meyer Ministries, Joyce teaches on a number of topics with a particular focus on how the Word of God applies to our everyday lives. Her candid communication style allows her to share openly and practically about her experiences so others can apply what she has learned to their lives.

Joyce’s programs, Enjoying Everyday Life and Everyday Answers with Joyce Meyer, can be seen around the world through television, radio, and the Internet. Joyce has authored more than 100 books, which have been translated into more than 100 languages and over 65 million of her books have been distributed worldwide. She teaches in cities across America as well as internationally. Joyce Meyer Ministries has offices in nine countries.

Joyce’s passion to help hurting people is foundational to the vision of Hand of Hope, the missions arm of Joyce Meyer Ministries. Hand of Hope provides worldwide humanitarian outreaches such as feeding programs, medical care, orphanages, disaster response, human trafficking intervention and rehabilitation, and much more – always sharing the love and Gospel of Christ.

Her latest book, LIVING A LIFE YOU LOVE, releases Spring 2018.

Hachette Book Group has sold over 30 million copies of Joyce Meyer's books.

Reviews

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

So this is what is happening to me lately...My feelings are making me crazy and I am falling away from the good side of life.
This book has pointed me back to the direction of good. I will try ( do more than try) to keep others from infulencing my emotions and decisions.

Thank you Joyce for putting it on paper and helping me understand.

[Empress5150 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read a lot of self-help books over the years but I don't remember reading one quite like this; likely because it's the first I've read written by a Bible teacher. I think this was an excellent choice for my "first time!"

I like Meyer's style; straight forward and no nonsense, with a good balance of (wry) humor, personal revelation and old fashioned "stop feeling sorry for yourself and get a move on, you can do it!" It's obvious Meyer is first and foremost a teacher; I did feel at times as though I was being both encouraged and taken down a peg for whining.

This is Christian-based self-help book so therefore there are many, many references to God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit and scripture. I found this helpful, many may not, but others might still find the advice contained therein instructional even if they are not Christian.

When it comes right down to it, who doesn't want to control their bad emotions/feelings and encourage the positive ones?

This is one of these reads where I nodded my head so much I probably looked like a Bobble Head Doll to anyone who might have been observing me. "Yes, yes, YES!!!!!" There were also a few "A HA!" moments for me and, despite the ca-zillion books on personality type I've read and the many tests I underwent in my career, I actually discovered a new personality type that FITS ME TO A TEE. It is melancholy, in case anyone is interested; and, no, it doesn't mean I'm sad and depressed all of the time. Here is its description (from page 22): "They are creative, talented and highly organized. They need a plan! They love lists! Some of them tend to be easily depressed and discouraged. They need lots of encouragement, especially about their accomplishments". I also pretty much figured out my husband's type, which explains some of our personality conflicts. For this alone, I'm really glad I read this book! Now, I just need to get him to read it (at least that chapter)! As an aside, though, it does seem as though she's writing more with women as her audience in mind.

I wrote down many quotes from the book to refer back to later (along with page numbers) because I know I will need them. Her chapters dealing with emotions such as anger, guilt and loss were spot on. The chapter on forgiveness was excellent. I especially liked her list of decisions one can make that will enable living a life free of bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness (pages 223-224).

The only chapter that I felt was bit lacking was the one on depression; I'd worry that someone who is truly suffering from the disease of depression (not "simply" situational depression) might read this and feel like they should just be able to "snap out of it". For the reason only, I gave the book four rather than five stars.

Meyer's has written a lot of books so I'll be sure to read more, next up might be "Eat the Cookie...Buy the Shoes" :-)

[Kathleen (Kat) Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

A constant struggle of mine is controlling my feelings. You know, the times when you wish you could just get away from all that life throws at you? We have on average about 70,000 thoughts every day, each one triggering a different emotion. No wonder why it’s such a struggle! I feel like I am, the majority of the time, controlled by my emotions and I wasn’t sure what to do with all the negativity I felt was surrounding me. In Joyce Meyer’s “Living Beyond Your Feelings” I found solace in her empowering words of encouragement and faith.

Joyce examines the majority of human feelings and discusses the way the brain processes and stores memories and thoughts. In great detail, she explains how we can easily manage our reactions to those feelings, and in doing so, teaches her readers how to efficiently manage the gamut of feelings that wreak havoc on our lives.

I recommend this book to people of all ages, from preteens to the elderly. Joyce’s advice pulled me out of my pit of despair and has forever altered the way I view the world, how I handle my emotions, how I regulate my thoughts and feelings, and how I am in social environments. "It gave me the tools to set the ball in motion for my life outside of high school, helped me to make proactive choices and helped me regain control of my life." from my 18-year-old daughter who read the book before I got a chance to read it first. It made that much of an impact for her.

I received this book Living Beyond Your Feelings by Joyce Meyer, compliments of Faith Words, a division of Hachette Book Group for my honest review and would rate this book a 5 out of 5 stars! A MUST READ!

[Sunshine Rodgers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am such a fan of Joyce Meyer! "Living Beyond Your Feelings" is such a great read! Meyer encourages the reader to lead with Truth and not with your emotions. This book talks about personality types and how some people are more emotional than others and how to better relate (and help) those around you. Meyer talks about when to share your feelings and when to *not* share your feelings (like when you are just complaining or throwing a pity party). Meyer reveals her own personal battles with her negative emotions, her family life, her upbringing and the freedoms she's experienced in this area. She talks about dealing with disappointments, difficult people, how to talk to yourself (and build yourself up in the faith) and how to trust God through personal dilemmas. Meyer breaks down the questions to ask to determine if it is God's will to do something versus just our emotions making the decisions. In Part 2, Joyce dives in deeper with exploring emotions that are often hard to control like anger, fear, loss and grief and depression (among others!). Meyer says that emotions affect our overall health and we need to think about what we are thinking about and focus on good emotions while changing our attitude for the better. Meyer also includes suggested reading for further development in this area. I definitely recommend this book!

[Emma.catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another BRILLIANT book by the woman herself - Joyce Meyer 🙌🏼

I have read/studied so many of her books now and, honestly, can’t fault a single one. I lover her writing style and approach to the Scriptures. She shares really helpful and practical insights on how we can improve our lives and strengthen our faith.

Thank you for this blessing of a book 🙏🏼

“I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.”
‭‭Ezekiel‬ ‭11‬:‭19‬ ‭NIV‬‬

📖🕊️🥰🙏🏼

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Battlefield of the Mind is my favorite Joyce Meyers book. I enjoyed this one just as much, I could relate to it personally.

[Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

As science learns more about how our thoughts affect our feelings, books like this one become more important for the average person. While big Pharma wants us to take medications that don't necessarily help and can be very costly, learning how to manage the thought:feeling connection is something that can be done for free.

In this book, Joyce Meyer gives recommendations on how to do just that. She talks about the science behind the thought:feeling connection, and how to reach for a better feeling. Meyer uses her theological perspective throughout the book, but this does not render the work trite and/or useless.

There are sections on depression, grieving, joy and more, all with advice on how to feel better (or stay feeling great) without using medication. A good, straightforward read that is likely to help many.

[Kia Speaks · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's good advice here, but often it comes off as too simplicity when dealing with serious and complex issues such as depression & death. Overall, I get the point of the book. Joyce sums it up in this quote: "It is important to me that you understand I am not saying to deny your emotions exist, but deny them the right to control you." Lots of religion; no psychology. Good read for church people trying to learn to control their feelings. Not a book for someone in crisis. And this book should not be used in place of seeking professional & medical help for emotional and mental health issues. Read it critically.

[Alicia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I like this simple and straight-forward book addressing emotions and how to effectively deal with them so that they are not a disruption to your life. Joyce Meyer consistent provides logical conclusions and sound advice for controlling yourself instead of being controlled by yourself. In this particular outing she focuses on how address and move beyond limiting emotions, without denying or ignoring them in your life.

Joyce Meyer illustrates her points with real-life stories from her life and others, in ways that very relatable and encouraging to read and follow. The covers swveral different topics related to emotions, including fear, loss, and medical consitions. I like that this book, along with her other dealing with thoughts and other aspects of the mind, doesn't pretend that emotions don't really exist or that they are all bad, but rather addresses the thing that can most effectively conquer or build-up emotions: words. This is another one of her helpful and encouraging books.
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I received this review book for free from the publisher, FaithWords. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions expressed are my own.

[Gail Welborn · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Living Beyond your Feelings,” by bestselling Christian teacher and author Joyce Meyer is for anyone who struggles with controlling emotions, such as fear, anger or failure. Joyce teaches readers to examine, manage and control their emotions instead of their emotions controlling them. She writes “If you are ready to master your emotions, this book is for you.”

She begins with a quote by Jonatan Martensson, who says, “Feelings are much like waves, we can’t stop them from coming, but we can choose which ones to surf.” And that’s what her book is about—choices–and the realization we control our behavior when we manage our emotions.
That effort leads to right choices and life becomes more enjoyable.

In the introduction she reminds reader’s emotions are neither good nor bad, they are simply feelings that can fluctuate and change, sometimes without cause or reason. She cites the example of…Full Review: http://tinyurl.com/76ntjhp

[Alicia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book as part of a Bible study. At times it seemed too simplistic, however she does write that she doesn't expect us to change our lives just by reading a book. I got more out of sharing feelings and stories with the other ladies in the group. Sometimes one of them had a different idea about what the author meant about something and that helped me think about differently. My favorite chapters were Handling Loss, Anger, Why is it so Hard to Forgive, How Emotions Affect Our Health, Stress and Emotions, and Good Emotions. Most are toward the end of the book. It took me a while to get into her writing style. She did give me some ideas to think about.

[Rashida · Rating 4 out of 5]

A blessing in so many ways!
My favorite part of the book was a discussion Joyce talks about with a neuroscientist who describes the visual image of thoughts in your brain. She says they actually look like trees with many branches, and explains the different appearance between how positive thoughts look and how negative ones look.

I didn't think Mrs. Meyer handled the subject of clinical depression well at all. But otherwise, the book was strong and helpful with lots of anecdotes that various readers can relate to.

[Krissy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have always considered myself an emotional person and have felt that people should cater to that. This book made me realize that I am responsible for how I react to things that other people do. It is ok to feel but not ok to react in a way that is ungodly. We should always aim to do the right thing despite what happens in our lives. Very good message!

[Cindy · Rating 3 out of 5]

It seems like a lot of repeat of what Joyce has said over the years. It is nice to have it divided into one book of emotions, but I didn't like hearing the same stuff. Too bad to, because I really like JM.

[Drake · Rating 1 out of 5]

i don't want or need any book or religion that encourages people not to feel and makes emotions, positive and negative, a BAD thing......if you're religious this book would probalby be useful to u.....but i'm not a robot.

[Bethany Phillips · Rating 1 out of 5]

Don't read unless you're a die-hard Christian! This book was way more religious than I was expecting. Title and description sound great but this was way too spiritual than psychological for me. Which is fine! Just not what I am personally into

[Denisea Jones- · Rating 5 out of 5]

Real good with many different feelings that tend to rule our lives.

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Book, it was really a good book to read to make myself feel better

[Siva Teja · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was assuming that this book has some practical solutions to dealing with your emotions and i was badly mislead. This book is so heavy with texts from Bible, god's word and Psalms that you can find them almost every alternate page. In my opinion the book is contradictory as the author tries to explain some things via science (which i did enjoy) but immediately follows with sentences like if you don't trust and follow Jesus you are in trouble. Also a mention of different kind of emotions and the way they make us feel is not same as educating how to manage them. For example the author says anger is bad emotion but it is in god's word that feeling angry is normal and we should feel and not act on it...lol... completely useless imo. Frankly, it got so annoying with the incessant references to Bible, god's word and some experiences in the authors life which imo are totally irrelevant and hardly help the reader. Maybe the mistake is on my side for not researching enough about the author but I'm writing this so that other people are not mislead like i was. You can probably connect well with the book if you are a devout Christian and have never read any other self-help book.

Finally i want to summarise by saying: peace, joy, gratitude, enthusiasm, confidence etc., are positive emotions, which bring health and happiness. Fear, hatred, guilt, despair, anger, jealousy are negative emotions that are detrimental to health and happiness. When faced with negative emotions identify, argue, question why they exist and replace them. This paragraph imo gives more useful information on controlling emotions than the entire book. I have another book titled 'battlefield of the mind' from the same author but I'm highly sceptical after reading this book

[Enny McSholly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ms Meyer's writings on emotions and feelings touched the working parts of life; she demonstrated adequately the need for children of God to walk with Him in spirit and in His Words, first, as sound 'combo' for strength to defeat the enemy's tactics - sin, bad emotions, unrighteousness, anger, resentment, discouragenment, hopelessness, depression, ...etc. Her style and prolificacy is inestimable at explain how emotions could be controlled for Godly feelings. She dissected the concept with appropriate scriptions, useful quotes n references, as well as practical life experiences ranging from herself to friends.
I found her nailing it all at the last 3 chapters where she elaborated more on consequences on health and spiritual wellbeing cum the beautiful sides of good and pleasant emotions. She finished up rightly talking about ''... not denying emotion but controlling it to please God.
I will give a 5++Star and read this again n again.

[Mary Rose Relente · Rating 3 out of 5]

“Why do I feel the way I feel?” is a question I have been asking myself lately. Over time I have made it my resolve to manage them on my own. Rarely do I let other people interpret things for me unless I trust them enough. I’ve realized not all people will know how to handle my vulnerable moments, so I try to be careful who I open up to.

This book offered me sanity. It gave me the discipline I needed when unexpectedly confronted by someone about a situation I had decided to stay silent about. It gave me the power to control my emotions toward someone who bombarded me with explanations and other unnecessary details I never asked about something I was quietly sorting out on my own. And it reminded me that sometimes it’s safer to just walk away for a while.

I am still learning how to manage my emotions as best as I can. Still a long way off but far from where I used to be.

[Chelsea Duncan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another brilliant book by Joyce. This is actually my third time reading the book through, I love it that much. This one is a definite keeper, it's so helpful the way Joyce thoroughly explains why our emotions are important, the relevance of them to scripture and living good Godly lives, and, importantly, how to ensure we aren't being dominated by them. It also explains how we can use our emotions to our advantage. A very valuable book, I'd recommend to any Christian who's serious about their commitment to God and coming up higher for His glory - particularly if you're a more sensitive and emotionally led person.

[jocelyn ੈ✩‧₊˚ · Rating 5 out of 5]

i really need to read joyce meyer more often because i feel like she has such a raw, authentic perspective on aspects of faith and Godly relationships! this one spoke to me especially because i tend to let my emotions get the best of me a lot, and i get caught up in the negative states im in rather than taking time, talking to God about it, and focusing on good emotions. this book was a great handbook on how to not let your emotions control you, and instead trust in Gods plan. it was an awesome read and if you’re Christian i highly recommend this!

[Patrice Doten · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn’t think I needed to read this book; I was actually only reading it because I planned to give it to a friend, and felt it only right to vet it first myself. It didn’t take long for it to engross me, and about a quarter of the way through, God used it to show me a long-term pattern of turning anger inward against myself whenever I was abused or mistreated, rather than expressing it to (or even about) the responsible individual(s). This had made me extremely unwell, both physically and emotionally. Definitely one of the biggest a-ha breakthroughs of my life. I can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t benefit from this book in some way.

[Yvonne Martinez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing

In my deepest hour of hurt.. your message of hope is what I need in my life. Thank you so very much for a new door to walk through.

[Novlette Gooden-Castillo]

Very insightful book on the purpose of our emotions and how they impact our relationships.

[Gelly · Rating 1 out of 5]

I guess this may help someone? But there seemed to be hardly any advice and it was contradictory. I felt for the author and her dealing with her trauma, but I don’t see how you can judge someone for sharing their judgment of you and spreading gossip then have an entire chapter on how secrets hurt you.
The second half of the book is where she actual talks about emotions. But not really.
Save your time, essentially, her advice is - don’t focus on negative thoughts, but talk to God about them, but don’t keep secrets, and give yourself space and remove yourself when you feel a large negative emotion. That’s how you control your emotions apparently.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

From New York Times bestselling author, Joyce Meyer, comes another fabulous and useful read. In this book Joyce breaks down feelings, step by step, in explaining where they come from and how they can affect us.
In part one, she discusses emotions, where they come from, why we are emotional beings, how we get stuck, and behaviors. She identifies the four main personality types and how they influence us.
In part two of the book, she talks about anger,guilt,resentment,depression, and other emotions that can give us trouble.
Using biblical text, she shows us how God does have all the answers, if we just ask for His help, be willing to listen, and apply techniques that will help us overcome negative thinking, to be proactive and change our thoughts, which can change our feelings.
This book is written well, and is an easy read, and easy to understand. The Bible verses presented throughout the chapters provide the knowledge and proof that the answers are available to all. Each chapter is concluded with a positive statement that one can use as positive self-talk or prayer.
This is a book that one can pick up again and again to revisit any chapters that may be relevant to their particular need.
I give it 5 out of 5 stars.

[Melba Deoleo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This Joyce Meyer book focuses on helping its readers learn how to control their emotions and not letting them control you, the title of the book pretty much says it all. She discusses things like personality types and she uses lots of personal stories about things that she has overcome, which helps encourage the reader that they can also overcome whatever obstacle they face. She uses the strategy of voice very well in her book, I felt like her voice is heard throughout and it is clear, powerful and firm. She uses this strategy well because her voice carries throughout, it is consistent and what she says is clear and I feel like reaches her reader. She does a good job at what Fletcher refers to as chatting on paper and developing an easy tone. From this book I would use the the way she seems like she is having a conversation with the reader as the strategy to use to teach writing. I think that this is something that would benefit my students as it would help them to write in way where their voice can come through and better yet it can help them find and define the voice/tone that they want their writing to have.

[Lorna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although I was not completely in-tune with the author's writing/sharing style, I really appreciated the message of this book. The closing lines are a good summary: "God's desire is that you enjoy the life He has provided for you, and that is impossible to do unless you learn how to control your feelings instead of letting them control you. With God's help, you can do it!" This book offers practical advice on how we can learn to reign in, but not ignore our emotions. For someone who tends to be very emotional, this was an eye-opener and I recommend it to anyone who tends to be overly dramatic or out-of-touch with their emotions. Living in joy and thankfulness is the way God intended it to be; this book provides healthy solutions to do just that.