With This Note

by Annalice Hayes

While you shine, my strong child,

And show the world your light,

Remember to stay safe

If it doesn’t feel quite right.


Talking to children about personal safety and consent can feel overwhelming. You may not know what to say—or even how to start. With This Note provides a thoughtful and easy way for parents, caregivers, educators, counselors, and trusted adults everywhere to begin this important conversation.

With its beautiful illustrations and rhymed storytelling, With This Note teaches young children that they have autonomy over their bodies and empowers them to listen to their gut feelings to identify when things don’t feel quite right. Its colorful pages provide children the tools to remove themselves from unsafe and uncomfortable situations and to distinguish their trusted people. With This Note is the perfect age-appropriate way to begin this discussion with the children in your life.

Genres: Parenting

32 pages, Hardcover

Published February 20, 2024

About the author

Dr. Annalice Hayes has over a decade of experience as a school counselor and is a mom of two young children. Hayes is trained in local and international child-protection laws, policies, and procedures and is well connected with various stakeholders including the International School Counselor Association (ISCA) and the Council of International Schools (CIS). With a particular interest in child protection, Hayes wrote With This Note for her own children and for all children and their trusted adults around the world.

Reviews

[Reading_ Tamishly · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must keep and a must read aloud for all the counsellors, teachers, parents and caregivers. This is the need of the moment. It’s never too early or never too late to teach a child to ask for help from a trusted adult and shout for help whenever they do not feel comfortable considering both their minds and body. The words are so powerful and specifically chosen which will help us adults on how to communicate with the kids on how to educate about likely abuse/inappropriate behaviour from known and unknown people.

I repeat this book is a must read.

Thank you, Little Start Books, for the precious advance reading copy.

[Ankit Saxena · Rating 5 out of 5]

While you shine, my strong child,
And show the world your light,
Remember to stay safe
If it doesn’t feel quite right

This is an amazing work on personal safety of a girl child, which meant a lot for herself and her parents at most. While raising a girl it is very important to keep her safe all the time and make her aware on the behaviour of any person towards her. She need to be told about the right touch and bad touch. She need to make understand that she can talk on any and every such issue to her parents, caregivers, educators, counselors and trusted adults everywhere, to report the mis-happening with her, be it in deportment or conversation.

Every unsafe and uncomfortable situations with trusted persons or strangers should be taken care-off and handled with utmost urgency without failure.

As a school counsellor herself author Annalice made sure she do not just speculate but with factual theory put forth the social behaviour, which need for girls to observe and react accordingly from their very young age.

In many unreported cases, via survey, this came out as a result that most of the sexual harassment (81%) of the females, irrespective of age, happen in extended or immediate circle of a victim by a known perpetrator; as mention in words in this self-help guide-book :-

If you feel uncomfortable,
Or things don’t feel quite right,
There is no need for manners—
You don’t have to be polite!

In addition, I believe and recommend that this book and every such book with progressive details on the subject must be added to the school curriculum from KG to middle-grade. Not only girls to be made aware but even male children also need to be teach for how to behave towards their female counter-parts, as our main concern/motive is to bring out better society through right learning of each human since very young age.

Overall, this is a very good behavioural book on the safety of a girl.

My netGalley review

[Dr. Zuccaro · Rating 5 out of 5]

A critical and necessary addition in children’s literature discussing bodily autonomy, consent, and safety! With This Note conveys important information to children in a way that reaffirms the connection between a parent and child. Most importantly, the book endorses the importance of trusting children to assess strange situations instead of relying on traditional “stranger danger” warnings. I will be buying this book for my kids 😊 love it!!

[Claudiaslibrarycard · Rating 5 out of 5]

With This Note is a sweet and gentle book about body safety and consent. Told with a lovely four line rhyme scheme and beautiful illustrations, this book is direct without being overly specific. I loved this style and intentional decision from the author who is a parent and school counselor.

I think every family should give this book a read. It is lovely and will open up lots of important conversations while still being gentle and calm, which is what these conversations should feel like with our children. We know that safety conversations work best when they are frequent, ongoing, and low stress. This book lends itself perfectly to that style of conversation. It talks about consent, body signals, options in an unsafe situation, and ways to get help. There is no use of the words "should," "must," or "have to."

I work in child abuse prevention, so I work with children daily and I read a lot of books on this topic. This is by far one of my favorites because of it's balance of honesty and gentleness, allowing each family to talk about the topics in the way that matches their culture and values. Consent and body safety should be a topic that we can all get on board with, regardless of other beliefs and values. This book reflects that. Get this for yourself or gift to to someone, better yet maybe do both!

[Kathy Kersting · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Annalice Hayes creates a gentle gateway for parents and caregivers to having meaningful conversations with their child on the topics of self awareness and personal safety. With This Note inspires children to make smart choices to keep them healthy throughout their lives. The poetic text leads readers to consider their personal safety, to seek out trusted adults, and to set boundaries when "things don’t feel quite right." As a school librarian, I recommend With This Note as a welcome addition to elementary and public libraries. School counselors will find useful connections to social/emotional standards from the International School Counselor Association. The note for parents and caregivers at the end is a true bonus, offering tips to foster these important conversations with their child.

[Jen Hammonds · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a middle school counselor and as a parent, With This Note moved me as a story of empowerment for children! It is strengths based, pro-active and solutions focused story of how as parents we can better equip our children to stay safe in this world! Teaching children about consent is hard and WTN gives tools and strategies in a language that is understandable. This book will help anyone, anywhere take better care of themselves and know how to set boundaries and trust their gut feelings! There is a tremendous warmth that comes through in the carefully chosen words and the beautiful illustrations draw the reader in and compliment the teaching artfully! Thank you to Dr. Hayes for realizing the need for such a book and for crafting this invaluable resource for us all! Highly recommend WTN to anyone!

[Alexa Hart Kumbier · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am a second-grade teacher and also a mother of a toddler. This book reminds of me the book Yes! No!: A First Conversation About Consent in that it conveys a similar message: It is okay to say no. In fact, saying no is important. I love that the author encourages children to speak up when something doesn't feel right, and I also love that there are notes to parents, caregivers, and counselors at the end. With This Note emphasizes the importance of noticing your feelings and knowing trusted people to turn to when needed. I look forward to reading this book to my daughter and to reading it to my students for years to come!

[Natasha · Rating 5 out of 5]

This gorgeous picture book packs a hefty punch and at the same time leaves lots of essential room to grow with it's youngest audience and diverse readers. The book affirms that as children's life questions deepen, they can still feel comfortable asking and trusting that their safe adults will honestly keep having conversations with them. This gem of a book guides young humans to listen to their bodies and observe their surroundings to ensure they stay safe as they go about their day.

This is the book I needed when I was growing up and I am glad my kids get to lean into it as they ponder life. Well done Dr. Hayes!!

[Melanie Henning · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I began reading, I thought about my own kids and how important it is to engage in this type of conversation as they are growing, starting to interact with people and in certain cases, being asked to do things that they may not feel comfortable with - even if it is simply giving a hug to a relative. At the end of the day, some of the examples are simple and some more complex; however, the idea remains true - when you feel uncomfortable in any situation and want to say no, you should be able to say no. With guided reflection, this book is a wonderful tool for parents, counselors and educators. Thank you for touching this important subject!

[Sara MacDonald · Rating 5 out of 5]

With This Note by Dr. Annalice Hayes is an absolute must-read and an invaluable resource for parents, teachers, and elementary counselors. As an Upper Elementary School Counselor, I wholeheartedly recommend this book as a perfect tool to initiate essential conversations about child safety. It skillfully teaches children the vital concepts of setting boundaries, following their instincts and identifying trusted adults without instilling fear. Every parent, teacher, and elementary counselor should consider adding this gem to their library. It's a game-changer in helping children navigate the path to safety and autonomy.

[SK · Rating 5 out of 5]

With This Note is a gem, imparting important lesson to children about personal safety and consent. Through playful rhymes and captivating illustrations, the book takes a challenging topic and makes it accessible for even our youngest readers. The author wrote this for her own children, making it heartfelt and genuine. The thoughtful inclusion of tips for caregivers is a useful addition and this book will no doubt be a valuable resource for caregivers, counselors, and educators, as they navigate these very important conversations.

[Whitflippy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this book! This book is such a great way to teach children how to listen to their bodies and empower them to trust themselves. It comes from a place of love and support that helps to show children that they have trusted people around them and they will be listened to as they explore the world.
I would recommend this to anyone who has kids - from birth to preteens - to help teach them about safety and consent in an accessible, child-friendly and empowering way.
Annalice has written a beautiful book that should be on every kids bookshelf!

[Maria A. · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an educator, I know that our first priority lies in the safeguarding of our students. When I read "With This Note," I marveled at how clearly the message was laid out: children should be empowered to trust their gut and learn how to navigate situations where something doesn't feel right. This book is a wonderful tool to help parents start these all-important conversations with their children at an early age. It's a must-have in any household library!

[Jane McPherson · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderfully written book! As a parent and grandparent we often struggle how to open up and have those difficult conversations with our children and grandchildren. "With This Note" is a book that is fun to read but delivers a powerful message about personal safety and boundaries. "With This Note" offers an opportunity to engage in conversations that could otherwise be difficult to approach. Definitely a must have resource for all schools and caregivers of children.

[Mary Brey · Rating 5 out of 5]

As an educator, I highly recommend 'With This Note' by Annalice Hayes. This heartwarming book introduces the crucial topics of personal safety and consent in a way that captivates young readers with its rhyming verses and vibrant illustrations. It serves as a valuable tool for encouraging children to trust their instincts and opens the door for important conversations between parents and kids. Practical tips for school counselors and parents and alignment with counseling standards make it an essential guide for educators to initiate crucial conversations with children about personal safety.

[SketchyNewEngland · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a gentle book to teach kids to listen to their gut and keep themselves safe as they begin to venture out into the world on their own. It provides lots of loving support and advice as well as reassurance. There is nothing that would scare children that I can see, so I think parents can pick up this book with confidence. It’s a nice way to start a conversation and let your kids know you are a safe person to bring any questions or concerns. I think With This Note is a helpful resource for caring parents anywhere. The pictures were pretty and clear for young children to understand. They had lots of texture.
Thank you for the eARC, I enjoyed it very much.

[Steph · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic book for all kids and parents to read together! As a first time mother of an almost 2 year old daughter, this book will empower her (and us!) to be true to herself and feelings, and reinforce there is always a safe place to talk, question, and share with mom and dad. Definitely recommend!

[T Murphy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I fought back tears the first time that I read "With this Note'' because I knew that Dr. Annalice Hayes' powerful message would make kids safer. Dr. Hayes has given parents the words to begin developmentally appropriate conversations about personal safety by breaking down the central message of body autonomy in concrete ways that young children can understand. It is critical that children have the words to establish boundaries for their bodies as young as possible because we know from the research that well-informed children are less likely to be abused. "With this Note" teaches children The Three R's of Safety: Recognizing when something feels unsafe; Refusing to comply when something feels uncomfortable; and Reporting or telling an adult that they trust. Reading this book to your child will empower them with critical life skills to keep themselves safe. As a mother and as a child psychologist, I advise all parents to read this beautiful book, early and often, with their children!

[Michelle Klar · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a counselor and parent, there is nothing more important than teaching children to trust their instincts and With This Note gives parents, teachers, counselors, and other caregivers a way to express this to young children. The notes to parents and counselors in the back are a perfect addition to help us navigate difficult conversations and create a place of trust. Thank you!

[Holly Gonzales · Rating 5 out of 5]

ARC reader for NetGalley

A great way to teach your little about body autonomy and how to trust their gut feelings when they feel something is wrong. This book will help you convey the message in a way your little can understand through a lyrical, rhyming narrative and pictures. A great must read and parenting tool.

[Rachel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book for parents and educators alike. The words and images create a lovely story that is a simple and clear approach to teaching kids about personal safety. The examples of feelings that kids should pay attention to are easy to grasp for small children, and if you aren’t sure how to start the conversation then this book is a great place to begin.

[Joni Owens · Rating 4 out of 5]

It stinks we live in a world this needs to be taught but this book is a great way to talk to your kids about intuition and stranger danger in a not scary way.

The illustrations go between colorful drawing to a pencil like sketch. The illustrations themselves are great. I just wasn’t a fan of the duality.

[Krista Jorch · Rating 5 out of 5]

"With This Note" is a brilliantly crafted children's book that seamlessly integrates the vital topic of personal safety into a captivating narrative. What sets this book apart is its empowering approach, instilling not only an awareness of potential dangers but also equipping young readers with practical strategies to stay safe. The positive tone and relatable scenarios make it an invaluable resource for parents and educators alike, striking a perfect balance between fun and education. "With This Note", by Dr. Annalice Hayes, is a must-have addition to any children's library, providing a delightful and effective means of teaching crucial life skills in an age-appropriate and enjoyable manner.

[Murray Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

"With This Note" is an unfortunately necessary tool for all parents, educators and councillors of young children. An easy to read and beautifully illustrated book to initiate conversations on child empowerment. Additionally; the notes at the end, provide valuable tips on how to have these difficult conversations. Well done Dr. Hayes.

[Lisa Gisèle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a complimentary copy of this book via Netgalley. Opinions expressed in this review are my own

Wonderful story about boundaries and trusting your body signals when they tell you something isn't right.

I greatly enjoyed the Tips for parents at the end. I was a child that wanted to protect my parents and held a lot in. Letting a child know you can handle what they tell you is important for them.

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great message for parents or caregivers.

[Julia Shelburne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book pertains to safety and consent by teaching children to trust their instincts when a situation does not feel right, and gives permission to not be polite if they feel that way. I would prefer a bit more depth on the issue, though this does a good job at least starting a very important conversation, which may be the intent. The book includes notes for school counselors and parents/caregivers advising them how to use this as a tool and how to talk about this important issue with children.

Thank you NetGalley and Little Start Books for this advanced copy. All opinions are my own.

[Helen Dodsworth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, the message was easily explained in words everyone could understand. This is an important message I wish had been offered to me when I was a child. Praise to Annalice Hayes on a job well done.

[Panda Incognito · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has sweet illustrations and simple rhyming text, and it's written from the perspective of a parent encouraging their child to stay safe. The book highlights bodily autonomy, the importance of following your gut feelings, and the value of telling adults whenever something doesn't feel right.

I appreciate how the author introduces essential topics without making them too scary, but I would have liked a little more depth here, because there isn't enough to differentiate something dangerous from something that a shy or anxious child simply doesn't feel good about. With my anxiety, if I had always followed my gut feelings about what felt comfortable, I would never have done much of anything and would have missed out on a lot of life.

I also feel like a child could take a confused message for this, thinking that it's their fault for not staying safe if something bad happens to them. Of course, the book never implies any victim-blaming! But without additional guidance from other conversations or other resources, this can make it sound like it's the child's job to keep themselves safe and determine whether something is good for them or not. If something bad happens out of nowhere, or if a child is incapable of recognizing warning signs, they could feel unnecessary guilt for not keeping themselves safe. This book is definitely helpful and worthwhile, but I'd encourage parents and teachers to keep these weaknesses in mind and compensate for them.

I received a temporary digital copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Stefanie Lamoureux · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book serves as a catalyst to support and facilitate a crucial conversation that should be had with every child regarding personal safety and body autonomy. Geared towards preschool and school-age children, this book uses simple poetry, rooted in evidence-based practice standards, to honour human instinct and the development of personal boundaries. The illustrations are engaging and help bring to life the author’s message while promoting diversity and relatability.

As a pediatric Registered Nurse (RN), I particularly appreciate the approach that Dr. Hayes uses to describe the physiological manifestations that a child may feel if their personal safety is at risk. Often, children feel these body signals during the stress response but can not necessarily make sense of them. Fortunately, this book is the bridge in forming that connection.

I also appreciate that this book encourages children to challenge the overly polite mannerism that is subtly integrated in modern society. Speaking up and building boundaries is not easy when we are constantly concerned about being offensive, rude, or appearing irrational.

A recommendation for enhancement would be to include an envelope with a templated letter at the end of each book so that caregivers, counsellors and/or children can construct their own personalized note to carry with them. This interactive exercise could help support the audience with the application and reflection of the theoretical concepts of the book.